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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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Oh, Lilith.
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Boy, am I happy to see you.
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And I, as ever, you.
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You know, I was
cleanin' out my garage,
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and I was gonna toss
a whole bunch of old toys
7
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into the Dumpster,
and then I thought,
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"Oh, heck, maybe
the Crane kid would like 'em."
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Oh, goodie!
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War toys.
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Yeah.
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Get a load of these, huh?
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Ah.
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Little tin Confederate soldiers
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so my child can have the fun
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of reliving the carnage and
agony of the Civil War.
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You bet.
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My Gino once did a battle
of Gettysburg using these
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and a can of tomato bisque soup.
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Oh!
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Here's a cute little dolly.
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Yeah.
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If you run her along
the bar, she screams,
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and sparks fly out of her eyes.
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Carla, these toys
are inappropriate.
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I fear that a child who spent
his time playing with them
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would be in grave danger
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of developing severe
personality disorders,
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possibly bordering
on the psychotic.
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Wow! Spark Head!
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God, I used to love
this when I was a kid!
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Hey, guess who Sid and Gladys
ran into the other day!
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Hank and Marilyn!
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Through the windshield! Aah!
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Aah! Skidding on the pavement!
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See?
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Do I want my son to
grow up like that?
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¶ Sometimes you want to go.
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
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¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
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¶ The troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You wanna go where everybody
knows your name. ¶
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Thanks for dropping
me off, honey.
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Sure. Yeah.
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Oh, I tell you guys... man, phew!
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Martha's Vineyard is the
sweetest place on Earth.
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Bye, Sam.
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Bye, Martha.
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Hey, let me buy you guys
a round here, huh?
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Hey, all right.
Thank you, Sammy.
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You are in a good mood, huh?
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Well, why not? I woke up
on the right side of her bed.
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You dog!
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I know something that'll
make you feel even better.
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Yeah? What's that?
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Guess who's taking over
Melville's today. Me?
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Wow!
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John Allen Hill... Hmm.
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Manhattan's foremost
restaurateur.
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And guess who made
it all happen.
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Me? Wow!
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No.
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Me. I was talking to Rob...
Wait, wait, wait.
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Does this story have anything
to do with me?
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Yes. Wow!
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Go on, go on, go on.
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When Mr. Hill makes Melville's
the toast of Boston's nightlife,
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our little bar will ride
right along with it.
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And all because of me.
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Wow! Wow! Wow!
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Guys, check this out.
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Kelly sent me pictures
of herself
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all the way from Paris.
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Ah. Oh.
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Hmm. This one's a cutie.
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Ooh! Yeah.
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Oh, yeah, that's her on her bed
in the... in the convent.
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Looking, uh,
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rather fetching
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in an oversized T-shirt reading,
"Je suis avec Stupide."
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Ooh, la, la.
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So, who do you suppose took
those snapshots, Wood?
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Oh, probably
her roommate, Cindy Ann.
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Hmm.
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Well, I-I don't know, Woody.
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There's a thumb in this picture.
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Either it's a man's thumb,
or little Cindy Ann
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could use a big bottle
of Nair for Christmas.
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I can't believe it.
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This is a man's thumb.
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She's having some hairy
French guy
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take sexy pictures of her!
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All right, well,
two can play at this game.
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I'm gonna have some hairy
French guy take pictures of me.
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I'm John Hill,
your new upstairs neighbor.
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Oh, hi.
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And you must be Sam Malone.
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Yeah. How'd you know?
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My hatcheck girl
described your hair.
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She didn't do it justice.
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Ah. Well, it's kind of a hobby.
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The joy it must bring you.
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Well, Mr. Malone,
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since we're going
to be neighbors,
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I brought a little gift
for your tavern.
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Oh! Look at that.
Hey, all right.
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It's a welcome mat
with a duck on it.
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Look at that.
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Well, we've never really
used a-a doormat before.
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00:04:48,576 --> 00:04:51,776
Well, not counting Clavin.
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Do you, uh... Do you think
this kind of thing goes
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in a sports bar?
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- Oh...
- Well,
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back in Hanover, duck
hunting is considered
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one of the manliest of sports.
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We used to do it all the time.
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You-You actually
shot ducks, Woody?
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Oh, no.
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It was just an
excuse for the guys
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to get together
and drink hot cocoa
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and blow those little
quacker dealies, right?
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I had the best one.
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I made it out of a
Good and Plenty box.
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He's cute.
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Does he come with
his own dueling banjo?
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Well, Mr. Malone,
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uh, please make sure
your patrons
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use this mat before
tracking dirt up to Melville's.
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Oh, uh,
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John, you know, I...
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Listen, I really don't think so.
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Oh.
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Well, fine.
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Uh, oh, by the way I...
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I think this will
amuse you, Sam.
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In looking at the property map
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00:05:50,776 --> 00:05:53,476
that came with my title deed,
139
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it appears that the area
beyond that hallway
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actually belongs to me.
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Oh, no, no, John.
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That's, uh...
that's the pool room,
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and those are our bathrooms.
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No, no, no. Look here.
145
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You see?
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00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:07,376
Apparently, it was Melville's
old storage basement.
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Uh-huh, uh-huh.
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Don't... Don't get alarmed.
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I have no designs on them.
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00:06:11,976 --> 00:06:15,976
I just mentioned it, because
I thought it was amusing.
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That's-That's very funny.
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Um...
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so, do we still get to use it?
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Of course! We're neighbors.
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Neighbors help each other.
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Yeah, well, of c...
Yeah, of course they do.
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00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:31,076
Of course they... You
know, I got an idea.
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Why don't you let me help
you put this duck mat
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right down at the
foot of the stairs?
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Well, that's very thoughtful
of you, Sam.
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Oh.
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00:06:37,776 --> 00:06:40,576
Oh, um, one other thing.
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00:06:40,676 --> 00:06:44,076
Our, uh, garbage area seems
to be strewn with beer cans
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that appear to have been crushed
against someone's forehead.
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Oh...
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I warned you about that.
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Hey, I get crazy!
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Don't-Don't... Don't
worry about it, John.
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00:06:55,576 --> 00:06:58,076
I'll, uh... I'll take
care of that right away.
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00:06:58,176 --> 00:07:00,776
Also, your red Corvette seems
to be parked in my space.
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00:07:00,876 --> 00:07:02,276
Oh, no.
172
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:05,175
Now-Now, John, I've-I've
always parked in that space.
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Not any longer.
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00:07:06,576 --> 00:07:07,976
Uh, fine. All-All right.
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Uh, I'll move it.
176
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Of course you will.
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00:07:15,676 --> 00:07:17,875
You know, I...
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00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:20,476
I don't know
if I like this guy so much.
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00:07:20,576 --> 00:07:22,075
He seems kind of snooty.
180
00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:23,475
He's not snooty, Sam.
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He's sophisticated.
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I think this bar could benefit
from his kind of class.
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00:07:27,776 --> 00:07:30,476
Oh, come on. Cheers is
classy enough the way it is.
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00:07:38,576 --> 00:07:42,876
Have you ever seen so many
Yuppies with gold cards?
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00:07:44,676 --> 00:07:46,475
John Allen Hill
worked his magic,
186
00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:48,176
and we reap the benefits.
187
00:07:48,276 --> 00:07:49,676
I love these charge slips.
188
00:07:49,776 --> 00:07:51,476
Look at here.
189
00:07:51,576 --> 00:07:53,975
They put down a five for a tip.
190
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Now, all I have to do is stick
a one in front of it...
191
00:08:00,176 --> 00:08:01,976
and I got 15!
192
00:08:02,076 --> 00:08:03,875
Uh, oh, all right, Normie,
you beat me fair and square,
193
00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:05,575
so, uh, all right,
let me buy you a beer.
194
00:08:05,576 --> 00:08:06,776
Yeah.
195
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:26,576
Um... excuse me, I was, uh...
196
00:08:26,676 --> 00:08:28,676
I was sitting, uh...
sitting there?
197
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,276
Oh, there was no one here
when we came in.
198
00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:33,276
No, I mean, yesterday.
199
00:08:34,576 --> 00:08:36,676
And...
200
00:08:36,776 --> 00:08:41,075
I mean, really since
the Ford administration.
201
00:08:41,076 --> 00:08:43,275
We're just waiting
for our table up in Melville's.
202
00:08:43,276 --> 00:08:44,675
So you'll move?
203
00:08:44,676 --> 00:08:46,676
Look, there's lots
of other stools.
204
00:08:47,776 --> 00:08:49,976
Um...
205
00:08:50,076 --> 00:08:52,276
Um...
206
00:08:54,476 --> 00:08:56,376
Look, uh, um...
207
00:08:56,476 --> 00:08:58,075
Sounds kind of silly...
208
00:08:58,076 --> 00:09:00,076
I'm, uh... I'm Norm.
209
00:09:04,576 --> 00:09:06,275
I'm Jeffrey,
and this is Hillary.
210
00:09:06,276 --> 00:09:07,575
Nice to meet you.
211
00:09:07,576 --> 00:09:09,276
What do you do, Norm?
212
00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,476
I sit there.
213
00:09:13,476 --> 00:09:16,276
Well, it's nice meeting you.
214
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:22,476
Look, uh, this is... this is...
215
00:09:24,076 --> 00:09:25,876
Yeah. We're runnin'
out of time here.
216
00:09:25,976 --> 00:09:27,275
He's-He's already two stages
217
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,776
beyond anything
I've seen before,
218
00:09:28,876 --> 00:09:31,176
so I-I think
you'd better give him the stool.
219
00:09:31,276 --> 00:09:33,076
I'm-I'm sorry.
We're sitting here.
220
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,776
Norm? Norm! Norm...!
221
00:09:50,576 --> 00:09:52,776
Uh, what's all
the commotion about?
222
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:54,075
Who cares?
223
00:09:54,076 --> 00:09:56,176
Set 'em up, Wood.
224
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,776
Cheers.
225
00:10:01,876 --> 00:10:03,876
Uh, okay, just a second.
226
00:10:03,976 --> 00:10:06,676
Armstrong, party of four,
your table is ready.
227
00:10:06,776 --> 00:10:08,075
Uh, have our drinks
sent upstairs.
228
00:10:08,076 --> 00:10:09,575
We'll pay for them up there.
229
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,276
Excuse me?
230
00:10:11,376 --> 00:10:13,476
Young man, could you
call upstairs and tell them
231
00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:15,376
that we're waiting
down in the lounge
232
00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:16,876
until our table is ready?
233
00:10:16,976 --> 00:10:18,076
Sure. No, Woody. Woody, no.
234
00:10:18,176 --> 00:10:20,176
This is not...
This is not Melville's lounge.
235
00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:22,576
Uh, I got to go talk
to this Hill guy.
236
00:10:22,676 --> 00:10:24,476
This is getting
out of hand here.
237
00:10:24,576 --> 00:10:25,875
This is my bar.
238
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:29,675
It's not his stupid
yuppie lounge!
239
00:10:29,676 --> 00:10:31,276
I think Sam's overreacting
240
00:10:31,376 --> 00:10:33,176
just a bit, don't you?
241
00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:35,776
Ciao, gang!
242
00:10:35,876 --> 00:10:37,376
Randy!
243
00:10:42,176 --> 00:10:45,676
Times they are
a-changin', Mr. P.
244
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:46,976
Hey, Norm! Norm, Norm, Norm!
245
00:10:47,076 --> 00:10:49,176
Give me your coat
and tie, will you?
246
00:10:49,276 --> 00:10:51,376
Forgot about
their stupid dress code.
247
00:10:53,076 --> 00:10:55,176
Woody,
248
00:10:55,276 --> 00:10:58,576
you sent up a party of eight
without calling ahead.
249
00:10:58,676 --> 00:11:01,375
Where is my brain?
250
00:11:01,376 --> 00:11:02,076
Oh, man!
251
00:11:02,276 --> 00:11:03,376
This is going too far.
252
00:11:03,476 --> 00:11:04,975
Sam! Sam! Sam, stop it. Relax.
253
00:11:04,976 --> 00:11:07,575
Listen, don't let your anger
get the better of you.
254
00:11:07,576 --> 00:11:09,076
That's the worst thing
you can do
255
00:11:09,176 --> 00:11:10,476
in a business situation.
256
00:11:10,576 --> 00:11:11,776
Well, maybe you're right.
257
00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:13,176
I don't know. It just...
258
00:11:13,276 --> 00:11:16,376
You know, it seems to me like
he's turning our bar into...
259
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,976
well, into something
Diane would have liked.
260
00:11:21,076 --> 00:11:22,275
All right, Sam.
261
00:11:22,276 --> 00:11:23,776
You hold him, I'll hit him.
262
00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:25,176
No, no.
263
00:11:29,476 --> 00:11:30,652
You-You-You were right.
Thanks, man.
264
00:11:30,676 --> 00:11:32,376
You were right the
first time. Listen,
265
00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:34,376
I'll just go...
talk to him... here.
266
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:36,176
Say, Mr. Hill... John!
267
00:11:36,276 --> 00:11:38,476
Could I have a
little chat with you?
268
00:11:38,576 --> 00:11:40,475
Oh, certainly, Mr. Malone.
269
00:11:40,476 --> 00:11:42,476
John, I'm...
270
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,476
I'm feeling a little
uncomfortable
271
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:47,776
with you delegating
new responsibilities
272
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,876
to my employees.
273
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,176
I understand completely.
274
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:53,576
Oh, good, so it'll stop.
275
00:11:53,676 --> 00:11:54,876
No...
276
00:11:54,976 --> 00:11:56,976
I think I deserve
a little leeway.
277
00:11:57,076 --> 00:11:59,475
After all, I am allowing you
to use that poolroom
278
00:11:59,476 --> 00:12:01,376
as well as both washrooms.
279
00:12:01,476 --> 00:12:02,652
Well, no, no, now wait a second.
280
00:12:02,676 --> 00:12:04,552
I could just as easily
say that I'm allowing you
281
00:12:04,576 --> 00:12:06,175
and your customers
to use my stairs.
282
00:12:06,176 --> 00:12:09,376
I mean, look, there go two of
your customers up my stairs.
283
00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:11,976
Yes, and there go two of your
customers into my washroom.
284
00:12:12,076 --> 00:12:14,075
Yeah, well, look, there go
three more of your customers
285
00:12:14,076 --> 00:12:16,576
up my stairs.
286
00:12:16,676 --> 00:12:19,575
Sam, I'm sensing hostility here,
287
00:12:19,576 --> 00:12:22,375
and, frankly, it hurts me.
288
00:12:22,376 --> 00:12:24,976
I mean, especially
289
00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:27,176
since I came down
to do you a favor.
290
00:12:27,276 --> 00:12:28,975
Oh. Uh, well, I'm sorry.
291
00:12:28,976 --> 00:12:30,475
Uh, what's that?
292
00:12:30,476 --> 00:12:32,375
I wanted to give you
the number of the impound lot
293
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,275
where your automobile
has been towed.
294
00:12:34,276 --> 00:12:35,875
What?
295
00:12:35,876 --> 00:12:37,236
Well, you parked
in my space again,
296
00:12:37,276 --> 00:12:39,476
and I had to have it taken away.
297
00:12:39,576 --> 00:12:41,476
You towed my Vette?
298
00:12:41,576 --> 00:12:43,576
Sam...
299
00:12:43,676 --> 00:12:45,776
Sam...
300
00:12:45,876 --> 00:12:49,176
He towed my Vette.
301
00:12:50,476 --> 00:12:52,275
Well... all right.
302
00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:54,376
I'm just... I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to ask you
303
00:12:54,476 --> 00:12:58,175
and your customers
to no longer use my stairs.
304
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,975
Don't you think
that's a little drastic?
305
00:12:59,976 --> 00:13:01,676
No, I don't.
I think it's quite fair.
306
00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:03,652
I mean, it's not like
I'm scratching their chrome
307
00:13:03,676 --> 00:13:06,876
with a giant metal hook.
308
00:13:08,876 --> 00:13:10,276
Very well.
309
00:13:10,376 --> 00:13:13,276
Everyone, may I have
your attention?
310
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:16,675
Melville's patrons
are no longer welcome here.
311
00:13:16,676 --> 00:13:18,076
Would you please join me
upstairs
312
00:13:18,176 --> 00:13:20,376
for a complimentary cocktail?
313
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,276
No, whoa, whoa.
314
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:24,476
Not you, Norm.
315
00:13:26,576 --> 00:13:28,975
Carla! Carla, bring me one down!
316
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,176
Hey, Carla, get-get out of line.
317
00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:37,376
Well, I think I handled that
quite well.
318
00:13:37,476 --> 00:13:39,775
Nobody messes with Sam Malone,
319
00:13:39,776 --> 00:13:44,076
least of all some hairless
king of the snobs.
320
00:13:44,176 --> 00:13:46,476
Wow, that was a real shot
at you from out of nowhere,
321
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:47,776
huh, Dr. Crane?
322
00:13:56,176 --> 00:13:57,876
There we go.
323
00:13:57,976 --> 00:14:00,776
Well, congratulations, Sammy.
324
00:14:00,876 --> 00:14:03,376
It's been a whole week
since you gave Hill the boot,
325
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,375
and he hasn't retaliated at all.
326
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:07,676
Oh, yeah, I know guys like that.
327
00:14:07,776 --> 00:14:09,175
They're all the same.
328
00:14:09,176 --> 00:14:11,776
You know, you call their bluff,
329
00:14:11,876 --> 00:14:13,976
pretty soon they crumble.
330
00:14:30,179 --> 00:14:31,779
Can you believe
the nerve of that guy
331
00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:34,079
putting up a wall like this?
332
00:14:34,179 --> 00:14:36,378
You know the Constitution
guarantees us certain rights,
333
00:14:36,379 --> 00:14:38,078
among those the right
to go to the bathroom
334
00:14:38,079 --> 00:14:39,578
and the right to play pool!
335
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:40,879
Way to tell them off, Sammy.
336
00:14:40,979 --> 00:14:42,178
Actually they wouldn't let me in
337
00:14:42,179 --> 00:14:43,378
'cause I wasn't wearing
a jacket,
338
00:14:43,379 --> 00:14:45,778
but he can hear me!
339
00:14:45,779 --> 00:14:48,079
Sam, calm down.
340
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:49,079
I'm calm. I'm calm.
341
00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:51,379
I mean,
just according to his lawyer,
342
00:14:51,479 --> 00:14:53,978
that horse's ass is not going
to take down that brick wall
343
00:14:53,979 --> 00:14:56,379
until I pay rent
on the poolroom.
344
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,679
Ooh, ooh... look what I did.
345
00:14:59,779 --> 00:15:02,178
I stole all his dinner mints.
346
00:15:02,179 --> 00:15:04,079
I know, I know, I know.
347
00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:05,579
I shouldn't have done it. Yes.
348
00:15:05,679 --> 00:15:07,155
I just let him get to me
just a touch.
349
00:15:07,179 --> 00:15:09,979
It won't happen again,
swear to God.
350
00:15:10,079 --> 00:15:13,679
Ten bucks says he goes
ballistic by midnight.
351
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,978
I've got ten that says 11:00.
352
00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:18,179
Well, uh, I'll take 9:30.
353
00:15:18,279 --> 00:15:19,279
Hey, Fras, you want in?
354
00:15:19,379 --> 00:15:20,855
Well, I don't think
that would be fair.
355
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,879
I mean, I am
a professional psychiatrist.
356
00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:24,979
Then again, it might give me
the edge I need.
357
00:15:25,079 --> 00:15:29,579
I say by 8:15
he'll be spitting up blood.
358
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:35,379
Dr. Crane,
359
00:15:35,479 --> 00:15:37,279
I need your help.
360
00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:39,379
I've been walking the streets,
361
00:15:39,479 --> 00:15:41,079
pulling out my hair,
362
00:15:41,179 --> 00:15:44,779
bumping into things,
talking to myself.
363
00:15:44,879 --> 00:15:48,178
So, what's new, Woody?
364
00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,679
Well, it's Kelly.
365
00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:51,578
I can't stop thinking about her
366
00:15:51,579 --> 00:15:55,379
and-and that man with the thumb.
367
00:15:55,479 --> 00:15:56,979
Oh, Woody.
368
00:15:57,079 --> 00:16:00,179
You've created this whole
scenario based on what?
369
00:16:00,279 --> 00:16:02,279
A snapshot of an innocent
girl in a T-shirt.
370
00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,655
I mean, look, if you want
to straighten things out,
371
00:16:03,679 --> 00:16:06,579
why don't you just call her
and talk to her?
372
00:16:07,479 --> 00:16:09,878
Yeah, maybe you're right.
373
00:16:09,879 --> 00:16:12,079
I mean, maybe
if I just talk to her,
374
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:13,979
we could clear
this whole thing up.
375
00:16:14,079 --> 00:16:16,579
But, so help me God
if a man with a thumb answers...
376
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,579
Hold on.
377
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:22,679
It's him. It's the thumb guy.
378
00:16:22,779 --> 00:16:24,419
And you know what that pervert
said to me?
379
00:16:24,479 --> 00:16:26,379
"Allo."
What does that mean in English?
380
00:16:26,479 --> 00:16:28,279
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
381
00:16:28,379 --> 00:16:30,179
No, I took some French
in high school.
382
00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:32,679
I think "allo..."
"allo" means, um...
383
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:34,379
"I've got your
girlfriend in my arms
384
00:16:34,479 --> 00:16:38,279
and, uh, soon we'll be naked,
you stupid cuckold."
385
00:16:40,679 --> 00:16:42,078
That's-that's funny, Norm,
because I thought it meant, uh,
386
00:16:42,079 --> 00:16:44,179
"I've got your girlfriend
in my arms
387
00:16:44,279 --> 00:16:46,979
and we're already naked,
you stupid cuckold."
388
00:16:47,079 --> 00:16:48,378
Oh, for God's sake.
389
00:16:48,379 --> 00:16:50,578
Stop hectoring the poor lad.
390
00:16:50,579 --> 00:16:51,779
Woody, it simply means
391
00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:55,479
that "I enjoyed
your girlfriend."
392
00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:05,279
All right, listen, Monsieur
Thumb, you think you got...
393
00:17:05,379 --> 00:17:06,878
No, no, no, Woody, Woody,
Woody, Woody, Woody, stop, stop.
394
00:17:06,879 --> 00:17:08,979
We were just joking.
Here let me talk to him.
395
00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:10,979
Bonjour, Monsieur.
396
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:12,778
Eh, mm-hmm,
je suis un ami de Woody.
397
00:17:12,779 --> 00:17:14,279
Un petit problème...
398
00:17:14,379 --> 00:17:17,278
Ma question est
le photographe de Kelly.
399
00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:18,479
Uh-huh.
400
00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:21,678
Non. Non.
401
00:17:21,679 --> 00:17:24,379
C'est marveilleux.
402
00:17:24,479 --> 00:17:25,479
Merci.
403
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:26,779
Oh, Woody.
404
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,179
It seems that there's a...
a Monsignor, uh, Pilot,
405
00:17:30,279 --> 00:17:33,279
a very elderly French cleric,
who was the one
406
00:17:33,379 --> 00:17:34,755
that took the photograph
of your beloved.
407
00:17:34,779 --> 00:17:36,578
Oh, well.
408
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:38,278
Thank you, Dr. Crane.
409
00:17:38,279 --> 00:17:40,079
I-I feel a million times better.
410
00:17:40,179 --> 00:17:41,479
You know what I'm gonna do?
411
00:17:41,579 --> 00:17:43,578
I-I'm gonna... I'm gonna go
write Kelly
412
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:46,078
the best darned love letter
she's ever had.
413
00:17:46,079 --> 00:17:47,579
There you go.
414
00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:52,079
So, uh, some old
French priest, huh?
415
00:17:52,179 --> 00:17:54,078
I have no idea.
416
00:17:54,079 --> 00:17:57,579
Apparently, Woody dialed
the wrong exchange.
417
00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:02,279
Somewhere in Belgium, there's
a very confused chocolatier.
418
00:18:06,779 --> 00:18:09,079
I'm taking things
into my own hands here.
419
00:18:09,179 --> 00:18:10,879
I hate that damned wall.
420
00:18:10,979 --> 00:18:13,079
I'm gonna put my bar
back the way it was.
421
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,078
Coming out, no more bets.
422
00:18:16,079 --> 00:18:18,478
Uh, excuse me, you may want to
move over here just a little bit.
423
00:18:18,479 --> 00:18:19,978
Fellas, you may want
to take note where you were
424
00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:21,279
the day the wall came down.
425
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:41,579
Is it down yet?
426
00:18:45,379 --> 00:18:49,179
Mr. Hill, wait here just
one moment, please, okay?
427
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:51,678
Sam,
428
00:18:51,679 --> 00:18:53,379
now I don't want you
to be mad at me,
429
00:18:53,479 --> 00:18:55,555
but I brought Mr. Hill here
to settle this whole ugly mess
430
00:18:55,579 --> 00:18:56,779
between the two of you.
431
00:18:56,879 --> 00:18:58,479
Please say you'll talk to him.
432
00:18:58,579 --> 00:19:01,379
Oh, sure, I'd love
to talk to him.
433
00:19:01,479 --> 00:19:04,178
Not with the sledgehammer.
434
00:19:04,179 --> 00:19:06,979
Aw, I wasn't gonna actually,
you know, hit him with it.
435
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,979
I was just gonna drop it
on his foot by mistake.
436
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:11,879
No, Sam.
437
00:19:11,979 --> 00:19:14,679
Sammy, just let me have it.
438
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,579
Ow!
439
00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:19,679
It would have worked, Sam.
440
00:19:19,779 --> 00:19:21,379
No, I'll just, uh...
441
00:19:21,479 --> 00:19:23,778
I'll go talk to him,
that's all right.
442
00:19:23,779 --> 00:19:25,478
Mr. Hill.
443
00:19:25,479 --> 00:19:26,579
John.
444
00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:28,479
I'm glad you came back.
445
00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:30,478
Sit down for a second.
Oh, thank you.
446
00:19:30,479 --> 00:19:33,479
Uh, things have just gotten
too far out of hand here.
447
00:19:33,579 --> 00:19:36,179
I mean, come on,
we're neighbors.
448
00:19:36,279 --> 00:19:39,478
We need to, well, we need
to learn to live together.
449
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,279
We-we need each other.
450
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:43,078
I don't need you.
451
00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:45,779
Oh, God, you're evil.
452
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,679
I can't fight the evil.
453
00:19:53,679 --> 00:19:57,779
I-I... I give up, Mr. Hill.
454
00:19:57,879 --> 00:20:01,078
You know,
the funny thing is, I...
455
00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:03,079
when I got my bar back
just recently,
456
00:20:03,179 --> 00:20:06,779
I thought, "Hey, Sam, you're
on top of the world here."
457
00:20:06,879 --> 00:20:08,778
"Your life's finally
turning around.
458
00:20:08,779 --> 00:20:12,478
You're in charge of
your own destiny."
459
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,779
But I was wrong.
460
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:17,379
You have my bathrooms, Mr. Hill.
461
00:20:17,479 --> 00:20:19,379
You hold all the cards.
462
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:20,879
You're everything.
463
00:20:20,979 --> 00:20:22,079
You're God.
464
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,679
I'm nothing.
465
00:20:24,779 --> 00:20:26,879
Here's your rent.
466
00:20:26,979 --> 00:20:29,179
I'm sorry, Sam, I was wrong.
467
00:20:29,279 --> 00:20:30,878
I don't want your money.
468
00:20:30,879 --> 00:20:32,578
You don't?
469
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,478
No, I just want you to make
that speech to me in public
470
00:20:34,479 --> 00:20:36,079
every month
when your rent is due.
471
00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:38,678
No, no.
472
00:20:38,679 --> 00:20:40,479
I was wrong, you're not God.
473
00:20:40,579 --> 00:20:43,578
You're-you're some big petty,
mean nothing.
474
00:20:43,579 --> 00:20:45,955
I'll tell... you know I'm gonna
give you your rent every month,
475
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,455
and every month from here
on out, and I'll tell you,
476
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:48,855
every time I do I'm gonna write
right down here
477
00:20:48,879 --> 00:20:51,678
on the memo part
"You're not God."
478
00:20:51,679 --> 00:20:53,179
There.
479
00:20:53,279 --> 00:20:54,979
How do you like that?
480
00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:57,679
Well, you certainly put me
in my place.
481
00:21:00,179 --> 00:21:03,679
I'll just, uh,
take your money and go.
482
00:21:03,779 --> 00:21:04,878
Yeah. Good, good.
483
00:21:04,879 --> 00:21:06,779
Oh, by the way, when I came in,
484
00:21:06,879 --> 00:21:09,079
I noticed they were
towing your car again.
485
00:21:09,179 --> 00:21:11,379
What for?
I didn't park in your space.
486
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,279
No, but it was in a fire lane.
487
00:21:13,379 --> 00:21:14,979
I don't make the rules.
488
00:21:15,079 --> 00:21:19,079
I just notify the authorities
when they're broken.
489
00:21:19,179 --> 00:21:20,678
Oh, God!
490
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:23,979
Oh, he's making me insane! Oh!
491
00:21:24,079 --> 00:21:25,478
I'd say that scream
makes it official.
492
00:21:25,479 --> 00:21:26,778
Woody, who won the pool?
493
00:21:26,779 --> 00:21:28,379
Well...
494
00:21:28,479 --> 00:21:30,778
Oh, Sam,
you aren't gonna believe this.
495
00:21:30,779 --> 00:21:32,179
The winner of the $200
496
00:21:32,279 --> 00:21:34,779
is our friendly new
neighbor, John A. Hill.
497
00:21:39,079 --> 00:21:41,179
He gets paid $200
to make me insane?
498
00:21:41,279 --> 00:21:42,779
No, he can't get away with this.
499
00:21:42,879 --> 00:21:44,678
No, this is not fair.
I'll tell you something,
500
00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:47,779
I'm gonna make him take down
that brick wall, brick by brick,
501
00:21:47,879 --> 00:21:49,979
with his own little
polished fingernails.
502
00:21:50,079 --> 00:21:51,779
I need... I need to get back.
503
00:21:51,879 --> 00:21:53,279
I need revenge.
504
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:54,779
Ooh, yes, yes.
505
00:21:54,879 --> 00:21:56,479
The mat. The stupid mat.
506
00:21:56,579 --> 00:21:57,879
I've always hated this mat.
507
00:21:57,979 --> 00:21:59,579
This is a mat from hell.
508
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,579
Never mind. Never mind.
509
00:22:04,679 --> 00:22:07,378
Where's my sledgehammer?
510
00:22:07,379 --> 00:22:10,979
Yeah, die you stupid duck.
511
00:22:12,379 --> 00:22:14,079
Sammy.
512
00:22:14,179 --> 00:22:15,979
You're not making a dent in it.
513
00:22:16,079 --> 00:22:17,979
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Watch this.
514
00:22:21,179 --> 00:22:23,279
Burn, Donald, burn.
515
00:22:25,779 --> 00:22:29,579
It won't burn.
516
00:22:29,679 --> 00:22:32,079
Say, this is a pretty good mat,
isn't it?
517
00:22:34,679 --> 00:22:37,679
I know what I'm gonna do.
518
00:22:37,779 --> 00:22:40,179
I'm gonna take this home
for myself.
519
00:22:40,279 --> 00:22:43,379
I'm gonna bring back
one of those cheap ones,
520
00:22:43,479 --> 00:22:45,579
the kind that wear out
all the time,
521
00:22:45,679 --> 00:22:50,178
and then he'll have to replace
it himself every month.
522
00:22:50,179 --> 00:22:52,879
I win!