1
00:00:01,624 --> 00:00:04,424
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,524 --> 00:00:06,324
Hey, guys,
3
00:00:06,424 --> 00:00:07,624
guess what followed me home.
4
00:00:07,724 --> 00:00:10,023
A slime trail?
5
00:00:10,024 --> 00:00:13,223
This cute little
fellow right here.
6
00:00:13,224 --> 00:00:14,324
Huh?
7
00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:16,023
Isn't he sweet?
8
00:00:16,024 --> 00:00:19,125
The cutest little dog
you've ever seen, huh?
9
00:00:19,225 --> 00:00:20,424
What you gonna do
with him, Cliff?
10
00:00:20,425 --> 00:00:22,925
Oh, I, I thought we'd just keep
him in the bar here, Sam,
11
00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:24,401
you know, kind of like
a bar mascot.
12
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:28,725
Guys, I kind of thought
I was the bar mascot.
13
00:00:28,825 --> 00:00:31,524
I don't think so, Cliffy.
14
00:00:31,525 --> 00:00:34,224
All right, Sammy.
15
00:00:34,225 --> 00:00:35,625
Come on, Spotty.
16
00:00:35,626 --> 00:00:37,426
Bye-bye, Spotty.
17
00:00:40,326 --> 00:00:43,826
Oh, how cute.
18
00:00:43,926 --> 00:00:46,426
Hi, little fellow.
19
00:00:46,526 --> 00:00:47,626
Ah.
20
00:00:47,726 --> 00:00:49,226
What's his name?
21
00:00:49,326 --> 00:00:52,627
Well, this is,
this is Spotty, huh?
22
00:00:52,727 --> 00:00:55,127
Isn't he cute?
23
00:00:55,227 --> 00:00:57,726
Yeah, he's kind of like
the-the bar mascot.
24
00:00:57,727 --> 00:00:58,927
Hey, you know,
25
00:00:59,027 --> 00:01:00,827
he and I are about
to take a bath.
26
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:02,927
Would you like to join us?
27
00:01:08,827 --> 00:01:11,028
¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
28
00:01:11,128 --> 00:01:14,228
¶ Takes everything you've got ¶
29
00:01:14,328 --> 00:01:16,928
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
30
00:01:17,028 --> 00:01:20,427
¶ Sure would help a lot.
31
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:24,328
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
32
00:01:25,628 --> 00:01:27,829
¶ Sometimes you want to go.
33
00:01:27,929 --> 00:01:32,329
¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
34
00:01:33,629 --> 00:01:38,229
¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
35
00:01:38,329 --> 00:01:40,529
¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
36
00:01:40,629 --> 00:01:43,128
¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
37
00:01:43,129 --> 00:01:47,430
¶ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ¶
38
00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,530
¶ You wanna go
where people know ¶
39
00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:53,829
¶ People are all the same.
40
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:58,430
¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
41
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,930
Hey, Mr. Clavin,
42
00:02:17,931 --> 00:02:20,131
if you're looking for
a home for the dog there,
43
00:02:20,231 --> 00:02:21,631
I'd be happy to take him.
44
00:02:21,632 --> 00:02:22,732
Ah, no, Woody.
45
00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:25,632
You see, Spotty here is
a thoroughbred puppy.
46
00:02:25,732 --> 00:02:28,631
Needs a lot of attention, a lot
of care, needs a lot of space.
47
00:02:28,632 --> 00:02:30,232
I'll give you five bucks
for him.
48
00:02:30,332 --> 00:02:31,332
Here you go.
49
00:02:34,432 --> 00:02:36,132
Hello. Any messages?
50
00:02:36,232 --> 00:02:37,631
Oh, yeah.
51
00:02:37,632 --> 00:02:40,333
One of your old baseball
buddies called, Dutch Kincaid.
52
00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:42,233
I'll be damned.
Wonder what he wants?
53
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,032
Probably another home run.
54
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,533
I think you served him up
something like 27 in his career.
55
00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:50,233
What did that work out to, Sam?
56
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:54,533
Oh, yeah, uh, one
for every time he faced you.
57
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,234
That was a long time ago. Yeah.
58
00:02:57,334 --> 00:02:58,834
Poor guy's probably
down and out...
59
00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:00,833
Wants to borrow a few bucks
from me.
60
00:03:00,834 --> 00:03:02,534
No. He wants you to show up
61
00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:05,034
for Dutch Kincaid Day
at Yankee Stadium.
62
00:03:05,134 --> 00:03:07,834
They're having a Dutch Kincaid
Day at Yankee Stadium?
63
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:10,334
Yeah. They're bringing him back
for one more time at bat
64
00:03:10,434 --> 00:03:11,434
before the game.
65
00:03:11,534 --> 00:03:13,134
He wants you to pitch to him.
66
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,335
Smart guy, that Dutch.
67
00:03:15,435 --> 00:03:17,435
He's gotta be kidding.
68
00:03:17,535 --> 00:03:20,135
Why the hell should
I want to help him?
69
00:03:20,235 --> 00:03:22,535
I, I'm gonna get on a plane
and fly down to New York
70
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:24,034
just to give him
some free publicity?
71
00:03:24,035 --> 00:03:25,435
What are you worried about?
72
00:03:25,535 --> 00:03:27,334
You afraid he's
gonna pop one out
73
00:03:27,335 --> 00:03:30,235
and you're going to have to see
the old Dutch Windmill again?
74
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,035
What is the Dutch Windmill?
75
00:03:32,036 --> 00:03:33,635
Oh, every time
Dutch hit a homer,
76
00:03:33,636 --> 00:03:36,435
he used to do this little dance
while he ran around the bases.
77
00:03:36,436 --> 00:03:37,836
It's kind of his trademark.
78
00:03:37,936 --> 00:03:38,936
Yeah, if memory serves,
79
00:03:39,036 --> 00:03:40,135
it was something like this.
80
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,312
He'd have that left arm pumping,
81
00:03:41,336 --> 00:03:42,736
and the right arm
like a windmill,
82
00:03:42,836 --> 00:03:44,336
and wiggle his fanny
back and forth.
83
00:03:44,436 --> 00:03:46,036
No, no, no,
84
00:03:46,136 --> 00:03:47,536
more like this.
85
00:03:47,636 --> 00:03:48,737
No, Norm, less jiggle.
86
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:50,637
I haven't started dancing yet.
87
00:03:53,637 --> 00:03:56,137
Hey, this is fun.
88
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,437
Did you have a trademark, Sam?
89
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,137
Shut up and leave me alone.
90
00:04:00,237 --> 00:04:02,837
Actually, Sam, that's
more of a motto.
91
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:10,038
No, come on, man, don't
let him lick your... Ew!
92
00:04:10,138 --> 00:04:11,838
Don't let him lick
your lips like that.
93
00:04:11,938 --> 00:04:12,938
Oh, it's okay.
94
00:04:13,038 --> 00:04:14,738
You know, it's an
interesting fact
95
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,337
that that dog's mouth
is probably cleaner
96
00:04:17,338 --> 00:04:18,637
than anybody's in this bar.
97
00:04:18,638 --> 00:04:19,938
There's a shock.
98
00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:24,239
Fras, how about you? You
want to play with the puppy?
99
00:04:24,339 --> 00:04:26,838
I don't know.
100
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:28,239
Uh, my mother never allowed me
101
00:04:28,339 --> 00:04:30,338
to have a puppy
when I was a boy.
102
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:35,538
Consequently, she instilled
in me a slight fear of animals.
103
00:04:35,539 --> 00:04:38,139
I'd say it's about time
you got over that.
104
00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:39,439
Come on, now, Spotty.
105
00:04:39,539 --> 00:04:41,539
I want you to say hello
to your Uncle Frasier.
106
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,240
Well, hello, Spotty.
107
00:04:50,340 --> 00:04:53,139
Norm, I, I think Spotty
wants to go away now.
108
00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,716
No. He feels pretty
comfortable there, doesn't he?
109
00:04:54,740 --> 00:04:57,839
Well, did I mention to you that, uh,
Spotty wants to buy you a beer?
110
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,741
Good boy, Scotty.
111
00:05:03,441 --> 00:05:04,141
Can I help you?
112
00:05:04,341 --> 00:05:06,740
Yeah. I'm looking for
a yellow-bellied,
113
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:09,041
runny-nosed has-been.
114
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:10,940
Hmm, can't make one of those.
115
00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,441
I'm out of cassis.
116
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:18,842
Hello, Dutch.
117
00:05:18,942 --> 00:05:20,642
Mayday.
118
00:05:20,742 --> 00:05:22,141
What are you doing here?
119
00:05:22,142 --> 00:05:24,842
I hear you're too chicken
to pitch to me, Fluffy.
120
00:05:24,942 --> 00:05:26,542
What's the matter,
121
00:05:26,642 --> 00:05:28,941
afraid I'll make you
look bad again?
122
00:05:28,942 --> 00:05:30,241
I'm not afraid
of anything, Dutch.
123
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:32,142
And I don't have anything
to prove, either.
124
00:05:32,242 --> 00:05:33,718
Hey, you know, Malone,
if word gets out
125
00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:34,942
that you're pitching
to me again,
126
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:37,642
it might give the guy
the kind of publicity
127
00:05:37,643 --> 00:05:39,842
that would put him back
in the public eye.
128
00:05:39,843 --> 00:05:42,043
Maybe even in the Hall of Fame.
129
00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:43,843
Oh, get out.
130
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:45,942
I could never get
into the Hall of Fame.
131
00:05:45,943 --> 00:05:48,243
Not you, you pantywaist.
132
00:05:50,443 --> 00:05:52,943
It's Dutch Kincaid Day,
not Sam Malone Day.
133
00:05:52,944 --> 00:05:56,044
Man, what an ego.
134
00:05:57,944 --> 00:06:00,243
Find yourself another
sucker, will you?
135
00:06:00,244 --> 00:06:01,443
Okay.
136
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,544
Have you got a men's room
in here?
137
00:06:03,644 --> 00:06:06,043
Oh, what am I asking you for?
138
00:06:06,044 --> 00:06:08,944
It's in the back.
139
00:06:09,044 --> 00:06:10,844
Yeah, thanks.
140
00:06:10,845 --> 00:06:14,944
Oh, uh, I gave my neighbor's kid
a Sam Malone baseball card
141
00:06:14,945 --> 00:06:17,144
to stick in his spokes
of his bike.
142
00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:21,145
Now, when he rides it, it goes
"wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp."
143
00:06:23,445 --> 00:06:24,245
Come on, Sammy, let's go.
144
00:06:24,345 --> 00:06:26,045
It would be great to
see you pitch again.
145
00:06:26,145 --> 00:06:27,845
No way. I told him "no"
and I meant it.
146
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,945
Come on, the guy is a jerk.
147
00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:31,346
You've got to nail him. No.
148
00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:32,546
Knock him down a few pegs.
149
00:06:32,646 --> 00:06:33,646
No. No-no-no.
150
00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:35,946
Oh, no.
151
00:06:36,046 --> 00:06:38,146
You're afraid he's still
gonna be able to hit you.
152
00:06:38,246 --> 00:06:39,546
Oh, are you kidding me?
153
00:06:39,646 --> 00:06:41,546
The guy's a washed-up
old has-been.
154
00:06:41,646 --> 00:06:43,045
I mean, he hasn't
played for years.
155
00:06:43,046 --> 00:06:45,647
I can strike him out with one
hand tied behind my back.
156
00:06:45,747 --> 00:06:46,747
Worth a try, Sammy.
157
00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,747
The other way never worked.
158
00:06:50,147 --> 00:06:51,647
That was then, you know.
159
00:06:51,747 --> 00:06:53,646
Now I've got the edge on him.
160
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,247
I'm young. You know,
I'm in good shape.
161
00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:57,847
Aw, shoot.
162
00:06:57,947 --> 00:07:01,547
I've got to remember
to warm up before I do that.
163
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,448
So why don't you
just go out there
164
00:07:05,548 --> 00:07:08,148
and humiliate him for a change?
Yeah.
165
00:07:08,248 --> 00:07:08,948
Come on, Sammy. Yeah, Sammy.
166
00:07:09,048 --> 00:07:10,348
Listen to yourselves, will ya?
167
00:07:10,448 --> 00:07:11,648
Have some class.
168
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:12,847
The guy's an old man.
169
00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:13,948
Good for you, Sam.
170
00:07:14,048 --> 00:07:15,648
I'm impressed by your stand.
171
00:07:15,748 --> 00:07:17,348
It shows real maturity.
172
00:07:17,448 --> 00:07:19,447
Yeah, well, it's gonna take a
lot more than a stupid insult
173
00:07:19,448 --> 00:07:21,549
to get me to go all the way
to New York.
174
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,748
I'll see you later, Underpants.
175
00:07:24,749 --> 00:07:26,449
That does it!
176
00:07:26,549 --> 00:07:27,949
All right, I'll
see you Saturday.
177
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:29,348
Yankee Stadium.
178
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,648
That's the spirit.
179
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:32,849
Listen, and don't worry about
getting into the stadium.
180
00:07:32,949 --> 00:07:34,549
Saturday is Ladies Day.
181
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,551
¶
182
00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:38,653
¶
183
00:08:59,754 --> 00:09:04,053
That'll teach you to pinch a
lady's butt in a locker room.
184
00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,254
Guys giving you trouble?
185
00:09:05,354 --> 00:09:06,955
No.
186
00:09:07,055 --> 00:09:09,655
I was teaching them how to pinch
a lady's butt in a locker room.
187
00:09:11,255 --> 00:09:13,755
Ah, look at this.
188
00:09:13,855 --> 00:09:18,855
I'm focused, I'm
psyched, I'm sober.
189
00:09:18,955 --> 00:09:20,855
Hey, Dutch doesn't stand
a chance today?
190
00:09:20,955 --> 00:09:22,155
Yeah.
191
00:09:24,956 --> 00:09:26,855
Only one thing missing, huh?
192
00:09:26,856 --> 00:09:28,456
I know, Sam.
193
00:09:28,556 --> 00:09:31,155
Yeah, I wish Coach were here.
194
00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:32,856
He is.
195
00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:37,056
Attention, ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to...
196
00:09:37,156 --> 00:09:40,456
Call me sentimental, but doesn't
this bring back the old days?
197
00:09:40,556 --> 00:09:42,057
Yeah.
198
00:09:42,157 --> 00:09:44,456
I want you to get
out there, Sammy,
199
00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:47,357
grind him into a raw,
meaty pulp,
200
00:09:47,457 --> 00:09:51,857
spread him on home plate
and slide into his guts.
201
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:54,457
I've got to get a Kleenex.
202
00:09:56,357 --> 00:09:58,756
Hey, Sam Malone.
203
00:09:58,757 --> 00:09:59,658
Yeah.
204
00:09:59,758 --> 00:10:00,958
Cap Richards.
205
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,557
I'm Dutch's personal manager.
206
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,158
I cooked up this whole thing.
207
00:10:04,258 --> 00:10:05,858
Glad I got a chance
to talk to you.
208
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:07,358
Uh, here's how it's gonna work.
209
00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:09,658
Throw the first two pitches
however you want.
210
00:10:09,758 --> 00:10:12,558
The third one, though, just float it
across home plate, nice and easy.
211
00:10:12,658 --> 00:10:14,957
Oh, what? Yeah, I thought the
home run would be more dramatic
212
00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,058
on the third pitch.
213
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,158
But if you want to do it
on the first pitch,
214
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:19,359
like you used to, go ahead.
215
00:10:19,459 --> 00:10:21,958
You've gotta be kidding.
216
00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:24,658
Sam Malone does not take a dive.
217
00:10:24,659 --> 00:10:27,759
Yeah, I came down here to strike this
guy out and that's what I'm gonna do.
218
00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:29,658
You know, if he wants to get a
hit, he's gonna have to earn it.
219
00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:31,459
Whoa, this is not good.
220
00:10:35,060 --> 00:10:36,760
We have a special ceremony
in honor of...
221
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:39,559
You ready, Sammy? Yeah.
222
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:40,859
Dutch Kincaid.
223
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:43,059
I can strike this
guy out, can't I?
224
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:44,260
Of course you can.
225
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,160
Listen,
226
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:49,060
this is your chance
to make up for the old days.
227
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,560
It's the last thing
anyone's ever gonna remember
228
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:55,360
about Sammy Mayday Malone... that
he struck out Dutch Kincaid.
229
00:10:55,361 --> 00:10:58,061
Now go on out there
and smoke three fast ones
230
00:10:58,161 --> 00:11:01,160
past that lousy
flat-headed bastard.
231
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,761
I need to get another Kleenex.
232
00:11:13,662 --> 00:11:14,862
Yeah? Huh?
233
00:11:14,962 --> 00:11:15,962
Oh.
234
00:11:16,062 --> 00:11:17,062
Excuse me,
235
00:11:17,162 --> 00:11:18,361
are you Sam Malone?
236
00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:19,561
Yeah.
237
00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:20,962
Yeah. Wh-wh-what's your name?
238
00:11:21,062 --> 00:11:22,862
Billy Kincaid.
How do you do, Billy?
239
00:11:22,962 --> 00:11:26,561
Oh, now you wouldn't,
you wouldn't be a relation
240
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:27,862
to Dutch Kincaid would you?
241
00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:29,263
He's my grandpa.
242
00:11:29,363 --> 00:11:31,162
I've heard all his
neat stories about
243
00:11:31,163 --> 00:11:33,962
how you used to help him
hit those long home runs.
244
00:11:33,963 --> 00:11:35,763
I never got to see one, though.
245
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:37,663
I sure hope I can see one today.
246
00:11:40,163 --> 00:11:44,562
I may have to
disappoint you there.
247
00:11:44,563 --> 00:11:47,463
This is the last time
Grandpa's ever going to play.
248
00:11:47,464 --> 00:11:51,763
It's today or never.
249
00:11:51,764 --> 00:11:53,364
Go away, will you? Go on.
250
00:11:55,864 --> 00:11:59,364
My two brothers and my baby
sister are all watching at home.
251
00:11:59,464 --> 00:12:01,964
None of us ever saw him
hit a home run.
252
00:12:03,064 --> 00:12:05,565
Give me a break, will you?
253
00:12:05,665 --> 00:12:09,264
Grandpa told us he wants
to hit a ball so hard,
254
00:12:09,265 --> 00:12:13,665
it'll go up to heaven,
so Grandma can say hello.
255
00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:23,666
Now pitching, Sam Malone.
256
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:28,966
Yeah, all right.
257
00:12:32,466 --> 00:12:33,866
Hey, how'd it go?
258
00:12:33,966 --> 00:12:36,466
Great.
259
00:12:36,566 --> 00:12:37,865
Need me to scalp any tickets?
260
00:12:37,866 --> 00:12:39,043
No, no, you've done
enough for today.
261
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,467
Thanks, Vinnie.
262
00:12:52,503 --> 00:12:54,703
Hey, you guys aren't
supposed to be in here.
263
00:12:54,803 --> 00:12:56,502
That's all right,
we're with Sam Malone.
264
00:12:56,503 --> 00:12:57,603
Mm-hmm.
265
00:12:57,803 --> 00:13:00,904
We're his personal trainers.
266
00:13:02,304 --> 00:13:03,904
So you're okay down here?
267
00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:08,404
We know our way
around a dugout, pally.
268
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:09,804
Look out, Cliffy. Incoming.
269
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:17,104
Boy, that ball girl's
really got an arm, huh?
270
00:13:17,105 --> 00:13:19,805
Here you go, Toots.
271
00:13:19,905 --> 00:13:22,004
Aw, Norm. What?
272
00:13:22,005 --> 00:13:26,005
Barbecue sauce got
all over the nachos.
273
00:13:35,806 --> 00:13:38,806
Hey... Hey...
274
00:13:43,006 --> 00:13:44,706
Hey, guys, did I miss anything?
275
00:13:44,806 --> 00:13:46,406
Sam hasn't started yet. Oh.
276
00:13:46,506 --> 00:13:47,606
Where you been?
277
00:13:47,706 --> 00:13:49,306
Oh, I've been visiting
the other team.
278
00:13:49,406 --> 00:13:51,906
I ran into somebody I used
to get hot and sweaty with.
279
00:13:52,006 --> 00:13:52,607
Who's that?
280
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:54,907
The other team.
281
00:13:55,007 --> 00:13:59,206
And now, stepping to the plate
to face Sam Malone,
282
00:13:59,207 --> 00:14:01,507
the man we all turned out today
to honor...
283
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,507
Dutch Kincaid.
284
00:14:04,607 --> 00:14:06,407
Boo-o-o-o! Boo-o-o-o! Boo-o-o-o!
285
00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:16,308
Hey, you guys, come on.
The first pitch.
286
00:14:17,308 --> 00:14:19,608
Okay, Sammy go! Go-go!
287
00:14:19,708 --> 00:14:21,508
Come on, Sammy.
288
00:14:21,608 --> 00:14:23,308
Oh, yeah! Strike one!
289
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:25,108
Go, Sammy!
290
00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:27,208
All right, Sammy.
291
00:14:27,308 --> 00:14:28,509
Look at him out there.
292
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:30,708
Doesn't he look
cool on the mound?
293
00:14:30,709 --> 00:14:31,909
Oh, I've got goose bumps.
294
00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:33,385
Yeah, all right,
here comes the stretch.
295
00:14:33,409 --> 00:14:35,209
Hey, ram it down his throat,
Sammy!
296
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,409
Sammy, oh! Come on, Sammy!
297
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,309
Oh, yeah! Strike two!
298
00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:40,109
Oh, yeah!
299
00:14:42,209 --> 00:14:43,908
Bring on the heat, Sammy!
300
00:14:43,909 --> 00:14:46,710
He can't hit what he can't see!
301
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:50,809
Apparently, he saw that one.
302
00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:52,410
Look at that ball go.
303
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,010
It may clear
the center field fence.
304
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,910
It's going, going,
it's out of here!
305
00:15:07,411 --> 00:15:09,611
Poor Sammy.
306
00:15:09,711 --> 00:15:12,110
Wow, he must feel lousy, huh?
307
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,711
Yeah, he's really gonna
need our support.
308
00:15:14,811 --> 00:15:17,411
Well, we'll just have
to be really nice to him.
309
00:15:17,511 --> 00:15:19,111
We can sneak out of here.
310
00:15:19,211 --> 00:15:21,112
I know a shortcut
through the showers.
311
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,112
Better yet.
312
00:15:23,212 --> 00:15:24,512
Too late.
313
00:15:24,612 --> 00:15:25,912
He's seen us.
314
00:15:26,812 --> 00:15:28,212
Okay.
315
00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:29,212
I know what you're thinking.
316
00:15:29,312 --> 00:15:31,012
But I can explain it.
317
00:15:31,112 --> 00:15:33,011
I know it looked
like a home run.
318
00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:34,188
Yeah, our first clue
was when the ball
319
00:15:34,212 --> 00:15:36,112
actually left the stadium.
320
00:15:37,712 --> 00:15:40,612
Yeah, but it doesn't count
'cause I did it on purpose.
321
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:41,613
All right.
322
00:15:41,713 --> 00:15:42,912
Oh, sure, Sam.
323
00:15:42,913 --> 00:15:45,213
You let him get a home run
off you on purpose.
324
00:15:45,313 --> 00:15:45,913
No, no.
325
00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,013
I did it for Kincaid's grandkid.
326
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,413
He wanted to see his grandfather
hit a home run, so...
327
00:15:51,513 --> 00:15:52,712
Well, hell, he can
explain it to you.
328
00:15:52,713 --> 00:15:53,713
Billy.
329
00:15:53,714 --> 00:15:55,213
Yo, hey, Billy!
330
00:15:56,114 --> 00:15:57,914
Oh, right, Sam.
331
00:15:58,014 --> 00:15:59,514
Whatever you say.
332
00:15:59,614 --> 00:16:00,814
We believe you.
333
00:16:00,914 --> 00:16:01,914
Why are you using that voice?
334
00:16:01,915 --> 00:16:03,413
That's your "I don't
believe you" voice.
335
00:16:03,414 --> 00:16:06,114
No it's not, Sam.
I do believe you.
336
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:09,014
Then why are you
still talking...
337
00:16:09,114 --> 00:16:10,813
Oh, come on, listen,
Billy'll tell you everything.
338
00:16:10,814 --> 00:16:11,814
Hey, Billy!
339
00:16:11,914 --> 00:16:13,214
Come on, Billy! Sam, Sam.
340
00:16:13,314 --> 00:16:14,514
Come on. Let's go home.
341
00:16:14,515 --> 00:16:16,815
We get to go on
an airplane ride.
342
00:16:16,915 --> 00:16:19,415
And maybe when we're up there,
343
00:16:19,515 --> 00:16:22,714
we'll get to see that pitch
you served Dutch.
344
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,215
I'm telling you,
I did it on purpose.
345
00:16:25,315 --> 00:16:26,215
I swear to God.
346
00:16:26,315 --> 00:16:27,415
There was this kid...
347
00:16:27,515 --> 00:16:28,915
Come on, Billy!
348
00:16:29,015 --> 00:16:30,315
This isn't funny!
349
00:16:35,716 --> 00:16:38,316
78, 79...
350
00:16:41,816 --> 00:16:43,415
If you keep moving
around, Spotty,
351
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:46,715
I'm not gonna be able
to get an accurate count.
352
00:16:46,716 --> 00:16:50,916
One, two, three, four...
353
00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,316
Woody. five...
354
00:16:52,317 --> 00:16:55,117
I guess you've given up
on finding his owner, huh?
355
00:16:55,217 --> 00:16:57,817
Well, why don't you want me
to have this dog, Ms. Howe?
356
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,717
It's not that I don't want you
to have the dog, Woody,
357
00:17:00,817 --> 00:17:02,617
it's just that
I have this... this thing
358
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:07,018
about being completely honest
when it comes to lost pets.
359
00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:09,217
Okay, when I was ten years old,
360
00:17:09,218 --> 00:17:11,917
I had this beautiful
Persian cat named Princess.
361
00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:13,017
She only loved me.
362
00:17:13,018 --> 00:17:14,818
She didn't like anybody
else in my family.
363
00:17:14,918 --> 00:17:17,318
One day I woke up,
Princess was gone.
364
00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:19,918
My mom and dad said
that she got out
365
00:17:20,018 --> 00:17:21,217
through the bedroom window.
366
00:17:21,218 --> 00:17:23,518
The weird thing is,
367
00:17:23,618 --> 00:17:25,618
I could have sworn
that bedroom window
368
00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:26,918
was painted shut.
369
00:17:26,919 --> 00:17:29,419
It bothered me for years.
370
00:17:29,519 --> 00:17:32,519
Then as you matured,
you came to accept the fact
371
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:35,819
that it was your parents who,
in fact, got rid of the cat.
372
00:17:37,819 --> 00:17:39,619
What?!
373
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:50,120
My Princess?!
374
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:53,520
They took my Princess?!
375
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:59,820
Oh, boy, me and my big mouth.
376
00:17:59,821 --> 00:18:01,621
Why don't I just go down
to the park
377
00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:03,921
and tell the little kids
about Santa Claus?
378
00:18:04,021 --> 00:18:06,521
What about Santa?
379
00:18:14,821 --> 00:18:17,221
But we do believe you, Sam.
380
00:18:17,322 --> 00:18:19,521
I'm getting tired of that voice.
381
00:18:19,522 --> 00:18:21,622
You know, I don't care
what you guys think.
382
00:18:21,722 --> 00:18:23,822
In my heart,
I know I did this...
383
00:18:23,922 --> 00:18:26,722
for a little boy
and his dead grandmother.
384
00:18:28,622 --> 00:18:31,221
Oh, guys, look.
385
00:18:31,222 --> 00:18:33,722
Spotty fell asleep on my shoe.
386
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:37,022
He's so sweet.
387
00:18:37,023 --> 00:18:38,823
I just wish
I was wearing sandals
388
00:18:38,923 --> 00:18:41,723
so I could feel
his little puppy breath.
389
00:18:46,023 --> 00:18:47,822
Hi, gentlemen.
What can I get you?
390
00:18:47,823 --> 00:18:49,423
Just coffee. We're on duty.
391
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:53,123
What's the matter?
392
00:18:53,124 --> 00:18:55,423
Well, two weeks ago
our dog ran away.
393
00:18:55,424 --> 00:18:57,924
Cutest little puppy
you ever saw.
394
00:18:58,024 --> 00:18:59,124
He's just about so big.
395
00:18:59,224 --> 00:19:01,624
Today, Chief made us
give up our search.
396
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,024
Oh.
397
00:19:07,924 --> 00:19:11,924
Woody, I think they're
talking about Spotty.
398
00:19:11,925 --> 00:19:13,125
Do you want to say something?
399
00:19:13,225 --> 00:19:14,225
No.
400
00:19:14,226 --> 00:19:18,024
Make them go away.
401
00:19:18,025 --> 00:19:19,025
Come on, Woody.
402
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,125
It is obvious that
it is their dog.
403
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:22,525
And give me a break,
a Dalmatian,
404
00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:23,625
the fire department.
405
00:19:23,725 --> 00:19:25,625
It's a different dog, ratfink.
406
00:19:27,025 --> 00:19:29,326
Just 'cause you lost
your stupid cat.
407
00:19:31,826 --> 00:19:33,226
Remember when he was born?
408
00:19:33,326 --> 00:19:34,326
Oh-h-h-h.
409
00:19:34,327 --> 00:19:36,025
We each took hour-long shifts
410
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:37,725
feeding him warm milk
through an eyedropper.
411
00:19:37,726 --> 00:19:40,226
Remember how he used to
fall asleep on my shoe?
412
00:19:40,326 --> 00:19:41,426
Yeah.
413
00:19:41,526 --> 00:19:43,326
I can still feel his
warm little puppy breath.
414
00:19:49,027 --> 00:19:50,627
What is it?
415
00:19:50,727 --> 00:19:52,127
Nothing.
416
00:19:52,227 --> 00:19:54,727
Go away.
Isn't there a fire somewhere?
417
00:19:56,727 --> 00:19:58,927
Oh, the heck with it.
418
00:19:59,027 --> 00:20:00,826
I didn't want him anyway.
419
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,327
He's all covered with spots.
420
00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:04,528
Hey-hey-hey...
421
00:20:04,628 --> 00:20:06,628
Take him, I didn't know
he was yours, honest.
422
00:20:06,728 --> 00:20:07,728
Thanks, kid.
423
00:20:07,729 --> 00:20:09,528
Looks like you took
real good care of him.
424
00:20:09,628 --> 00:20:11,428
Yeah. You know, we had
a reward posted...
425
00:20:11,528 --> 00:20:12,528
A hundred bucks.
426
00:20:12,529 --> 00:20:14,328
Oh, I don't care
about the money.
427
00:20:14,428 --> 00:20:16,527
I just want what's
best for Spotty.
428
00:20:16,528 --> 00:20:18,728
Gee, I'm, sorry, kid.
429
00:20:20,028 --> 00:20:24,229
Now, a ride on a real
fire engine might help.
430
00:20:26,229 --> 00:20:27,529
We can't let you do that.
431
00:20:27,629 --> 00:20:29,928
I miss him so much!
432
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,628
All right, come on.
433
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,828
But don't tell anybody.
434
00:20:32,829 --> 00:20:34,828
Yeah!
435
00:20:34,829 --> 00:20:36,629
Hey, can I, can I run the siren?
436
00:20:36,729 --> 00:20:38,930
No, that would be illegal.
437
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,030
Oh, geez, Spotty meant
everything to me!
438
00:20:42,130 --> 00:20:44,230
All right, you can
turn on the siren.
439
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,729
Well, can I wear your hat?
440
00:20:45,730 --> 00:20:47,430
It's part of the uniform.
441
00:20:47,530 --> 00:20:48,730
Well, can I drive,
442
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,730
please, please?!
443
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,330
Here, take the dog.
444
00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:53,430
Take the dog.
445
00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:58,131
We snowed 'em, dude.
446
00:21:06,431 --> 00:21:08,230
Where's little Miss Malone?
447
00:21:08,231 --> 00:21:09,231
In the office?
448
00:21:09,331 --> 00:21:11,231
Haven't you humiliated him
enough?
449
00:21:11,331 --> 00:21:14,232
Hey, not as much
as he humiliated me.
450
00:21:14,332 --> 00:21:16,031
Hey, Malone...!
451
00:21:16,032 --> 00:21:18,532
Pull on your pantyhose
and get out here.
452
00:21:18,632 --> 00:21:20,232
We've got a score to settle.
453
00:21:20,332 --> 00:21:21,332
Come on, Dutch.
454
00:21:21,333 --> 00:21:22,532
You had your home run.
455
00:21:22,632 --> 00:21:24,232
Why don't we just
leave it at that?
456
00:21:24,332 --> 00:21:26,531
I'm not gonna leave it at that.
457
00:21:26,532 --> 00:21:28,832
You deliberately
threw me a cream puff.
458
00:21:28,932 --> 00:21:30,631
I don't need your
charity pitches.
459
00:21:30,632 --> 00:21:31,932
I didn't do it for you.
460
00:21:31,933 --> 00:21:33,333
I did it for your grandkid.
461
00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:35,233
I don't have any grandkid.
462
00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:37,109
What do you mean, you
don't have any grandkid?
463
00:21:37,133 --> 00:21:39,532
Naw, my personal
manager and his kid
464
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:41,333
are always pulling that scam.
465
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,233
That's how I got
Dutch Kincaid Day.
466
00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:47,133
This was a setup?
467
00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:48,932
I had a chance finally
468
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,933
to strike you out in front
of a stadium full of people
469
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:53,634
and I had to let it go
for a stupid, lousy setup?
470
00:21:53,734 --> 00:21:55,633
You never had a chance, Malone.
471
00:21:55,634 --> 00:21:57,834
I can hit anything
you can serve up.
472
00:21:58,034 --> 00:21:59,334
Oh, come on. Give me a break.
473
00:21:59,434 --> 00:22:01,134
My first two pitches
went right by you.
474
00:22:01,234 --> 00:22:04,533
Well, I let them go by
for the drama.
475
00:22:04,534 --> 00:22:06,433
Drama?
476
00:22:06,434 --> 00:22:08,434
You let them go by
for the drama?
477
00:22:08,435 --> 00:22:09,534
You want drama?
478
00:22:09,535 --> 00:22:10,934
I'll give you drama.
479
00:22:10,935 --> 00:22:13,035
Come with me, you, you,
come on, right now.
480
00:22:13,135 --> 00:22:14,234
All right.
481
00:22:14,235 --> 00:22:15,934
There's still plenty
of daylight out there.
482
00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:17,035
Let's do it.
483
00:22:17,135 --> 00:22:18,135
Yeah, well, I'll be back
484
00:22:18,235 --> 00:22:20,335
in about three pitches, fellas.
485
00:22:20,435 --> 00:22:22,435
Two grown men settling a rivalry
486
00:22:22,535 --> 00:22:25,336
by throwing a little white ball
at a wooden stick.
487
00:22:25,436 --> 00:22:27,236
How pathetic.
488
00:22:27,336 --> 00:22:28,636
Now, boxing...
489
00:22:28,736 --> 00:22:30,736
that's a man's sport.
490
00:22:30,836 --> 00:22:33,136
Punch a guy in the face
and scramble his brains.
491
00:22:33,336 --> 00:22:35,136
That proves something.
492
00:22:35,236 --> 00:22:37,336
Fras, you're coming
around, buddy.
493
00:22:37,436 --> 00:22:38,936
Thank you.
494
00:22:42,537 --> 00:22:45,237
Hey, shut up, you guys,
Sammy's pitching.
495
00:22:46,737 --> 00:22:49,536
Oh, my God,
there's two moons in the sky.
496
00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:51,537
All right, lucky hit.
497
00:22:51,637 --> 00:22:53,437
Let's go again.
498
00:22:54,737 --> 00:22:57,837
Gee, he almost hit a helicopter.
499
00:23:02,438 --> 00:23:05,738
Okay, 226 lucky hits.
500
00:23:07,438 --> 00:23:08,738
Hang in there, Sammy.
501
00:23:08,838 --> 00:23:11,238
He's old. He can't live forever.