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00:00:02,067 --> 00:00:04,468
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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00:00:06,137 --> 00:00:07,338
Carla, what are you doing?
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Uh, would you hand me that
bucket of ice water, please?
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00:00:09,774 --> 00:00:10,941
Sure.
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00:00:10,976 --> 00:00:12,643
When you tell me
what you're doing.
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Well, Clavin's almost done
with his route, see?
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So I'm gonna put this bucket up
here on the ledge...
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Oh, and then the water
will fall on his head.
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How mature.
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You know,
that's your problem, Rebecca.
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You don't know how
to have any fun.
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Sure I do. It's just not
at the expense of other people.
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I just go out with my friends
and have a good time.
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Now, don't you ever get together
with your friends and-and just
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have fun?
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Well, I guess I would,
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but nobody ever asks me
to do anything.
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I'm sorry, Carla.
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Yeah.
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Sounds like fun.
I don't know.
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Say, Carla, do you want to...
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Yeah?
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I don't have anything
to do later.
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I mean, want to go grab a pizza,
or see a movie or something?
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You and me?
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Well, if you want to.
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Yeah. I think I'd
really like that.
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Yeah? All right,
we'll do it.
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I mean, who knows?
Maybe it'll be fun.
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Let me just grab my coat.
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So, what time should I be there?
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♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
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♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
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♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
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♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
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♪ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ♪
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♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
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♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
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♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
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♪ You wanna be
where you can see ♪
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♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
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♪ You wanna be where
everybody knows your name ♪
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♪ You wanna go
where people know ♪
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♪ People are all the same ♪
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♪ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
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Okay, at the beginning
of that cartoon,
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Casper, the friendly ghost,
had no friends whatsoever.
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By the end of the
cartoon, of course,
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he's surrounded by friends.
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Next cartoon will start,
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Casper won't have
any friends again.
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What is it we're not seeing
between cartoons?
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Could be, uh,
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Casper sating his
thirst for human blood.
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Right.
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Oh, think about it, Norm.
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We are talking about a ghost here.
Yeah?
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You see, very often,
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the, uh, walking dead crave
the taste of human flesh.
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And things aren't
that much different
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in the cartoon world, I'm sure.
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Was it really hot
on your route today, Cliff?
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Yeah, yeah.
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Oh, blacked out a
couple of times. Why?
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That was Woody.
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He's in a car on the way back
from the airport.
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Isn't that something?
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Two weeks free in London.
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All expenses paid
on Kelly's family.
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Boy, he really stepped
into something nice there.
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I'll tell you what, though.
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He's lucky
I didn't spot her first.
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Yeah, he really dodged
a bullet there, Cliff.
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Everyone, I have
an announcement to make.
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You may not have noticed,
but over the last year,
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I've allowed myself
to gradually fall out of shape.
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I'm frequently tired, and I find
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I no longer have the energy
for some of my daily activities.
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Or some of your weekly ones.
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Which is why Richard here
is going to put me
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on a strict exercise
and diet regimen.
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Now you may ask, "Why is Frasier
sharing this information
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with the general public?"
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Because you're the
loneliest man on earth?
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He has another reason.
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Yes.
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I want you all
to hold me accountable,
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to be my collective conscience,
if you will.
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Don't let me give up.
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You-You gonna let
that little, scrawny guy
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00:04:05,449 --> 00:04:07,350
be your personal trainer?
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00:04:07,384 --> 00:04:09,018
Oh. Get a load
of this, Sam.
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Show 'em, Richard.
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Oh, man!
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Hey, that's...
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00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:22,131
I could probably do that,
but I'd have to do it in shifts.
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I was a professional athlete.
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I can train you like he can,
and I'd do it for free.
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00:04:28,639 --> 00:04:30,139
Besides, I'll, uh,
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keep my chest off
your wife's hand.
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You're history, Bluto!
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Hey, your loss.
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We have an opening
for a lab assistant!
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Well, it's grant money.
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We have to spend it somehow.
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Hi, gang!
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Hi-ho, chaps.
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00:04:50,294 --> 00:04:52,028
- Wood!
- Whoa!
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Well, look at you.
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If it isn't Oliver Twit.
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Boy, check out the threads
on that dude, huh?
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Oh, just a little something
I picked up at Savile Row.
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Oh! Savile Row!
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Well, well, yes.
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I guess the trip to England made
a big impression on you, huh?
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Ah, it's a fabulous place, Sam.
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Very civilized.
You know, when you drive
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on the left-hand side
of the road over there,
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they don't scream and honk
at you like they do here.
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Got anything in the, uh, bag?
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Here we go.
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Toilet water for everyone.
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Don't worry, it's
not what you think.
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Woody,
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we've got to be going.
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Right. If James has
to circle the block
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more than once,
he has a hissy fit.
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Boy, chauffeurs, huh, Miss Howe?
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Oh, yeah. I have that trouble
with mine all the time.
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Really? What do you do?
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I wake up.
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Hey, Woody, can't
you, uh, hang around
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and tell us about your trip?
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Love to, can't.
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Love to, can't?
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Right.
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Uh, coming over on the Concorde,
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we met this adorable couple,
David and Arlene,
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and we promised to spend
the afternoon with them.
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Oh, well, all right.
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All right, well, you
can tell us all about it
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when you come to work
tonight, all right?
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Ooh, about that.
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Don't tell me.
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Love to, can't?
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Bingo. Ta, guys.
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What-What the hell's
wrong with him?
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Well, it's a common
phenomenon, really.
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A young, impressionable lad,
such as Woody,
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gets his first taste
of a foreign country,
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and he comes back
a little affected.
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I mean, give him a few hours,
he'll be fine.
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You know, I remember when I came
back from my first trip abroad.
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Oh, God, I was pompous
and unbearable!
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Condescending
to all my old friends.
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Of course, I wouldn't expect
you fellows to understand.
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It's a complicated matter.
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Keep going, man.
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You're doing great.
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What's the matter,
jump rope too much for you?
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Forgive me...
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00:07:02,226 --> 00:07:04,661
but a jump rope is a delightful
children's toy
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used to while away
delightful spring days.
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I'm not a delightful child.
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I am a miserable,
overweight wretch
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who is praying for death.
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Got a saying, Frasier...
No pain, no gain.
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I also have a saying, Sam.
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I can't feel my right arm!
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That's all right.
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That's natural.
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Okay, tell you what.
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Why don't you give me one more
abdominal crunch?
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No, no, no!
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No, no, no, no, no!
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Come on, man, give me one more,
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unless you want
to give me five more.
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Okay.
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Come on, you can do it.
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Okay.
Come on.
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Okay.
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There we go.
And up!
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Come on.
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Can you see the baby's head yet?
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00:08:02,186 --> 00:08:04,320
I am proud of you, man.
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A lot of people would have quit
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after that little bout
of vomiting.
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Thank you, Sam.
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I feel that from this point on,
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I can live a life
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00:08:14,131 --> 00:08:15,932
of healthful moderation
and physical fitness.
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Okay, everybody, Lud is
trying to raise money
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00:08:21,639 --> 00:08:24,641
for his class trip to
Colonial Williamsburg.
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00:08:24,675 --> 00:08:27,310
Now who wants to help by
buying some chocolate bars?
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00:08:27,344 --> 00:08:29,145
I'll take 15 boxes!
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00:08:32,149 --> 00:08:33,283
Boy, that's great, Doc.
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00:08:33,317 --> 00:08:35,685
All you got to do is
fill out this order form,
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you'll have your candy
in two weeks.
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00:08:37,288 --> 00:08:39,088
Two weeks?!
I want them now!
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00:08:40,991 --> 00:08:42,492
Listen, Lud.
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00:08:42,526 --> 00:08:44,928
Lud, here, go down
to the store for me,
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00:08:44,962 --> 00:08:48,231
get me a couple of KitKats,
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00:08:48,265 --> 00:08:50,900
and I will personally drive you
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00:08:50,935 --> 00:08:52,335
to Colonial Williamsburg.
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00:08:52,369 --> 00:08:53,436
Sorry, Dr. Crane.
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00:08:53,470 --> 00:08:54,904
Two weeks.
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00:08:54,939 --> 00:08:57,607
Oh, forget it, then,
you rotten kid. No sale.
208
00:08:57,641 --> 00:08:59,342
You should have the
chocolate on you.
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00:08:59,376 --> 00:09:01,945
What do they teach you in
that school of yours anyway?
210
00:09:01,979 --> 00:09:03,513
Come on, Fras.
Well, it's true.
211
00:09:03,547 --> 00:09:05,849
What the hell am I paying
property taxes for?!
212
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:07,417
Oh!
213
00:09:07,484 --> 00:09:09,152
Sam!
214
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:11,187
I hurt so much!
215
00:09:13,424 --> 00:09:15,158
Hey, Rebecca,
216
00:09:15,192 --> 00:09:17,727
Lud is trying to raise money
for his class trip.
217
00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:19,829
Now, how many chocolate bars
do you want?
218
00:09:19,864 --> 00:09:21,865
I think you're taking
advantage of us.
219
00:09:21,899 --> 00:09:24,534
Oh, Lud, Miss Howe doesn't
want to buy any candy.
220
00:09:24,568 --> 00:09:26,703
Why don't you go
into your sales pitch?
221
00:09:30,207 --> 00:09:32,175
It's not gonna work, Lud.
222
00:09:34,144 --> 00:09:36,346
You can breathe now.
223
00:09:38,015 --> 00:09:39,883
Okay, fine. I am
just gonna go about
224
00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:41,518
my work as usual.
225
00:09:47,691 --> 00:09:48,558
All right, fine!
226
00:09:48,592 --> 00:09:49,792
Five bars!
227
00:09:50,828 --> 00:09:52,962
Isn't he great, you know?
228
00:09:52,997 --> 00:09:56,232
He helped knock 500 bucks off
the price of our last car.
229
00:09:56,267 --> 00:09:58,268
Remember that, Lud?
230
00:09:58,335 --> 00:10:00,003
Part of it.
231
00:10:00,070 --> 00:10:01,137
Lud, come on.
232
00:10:01,172 --> 00:10:02,605
Let's go home.
233
00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:05,708
Evening, chums!
234
00:10:05,743 --> 00:10:08,144
I thought you were having drinks
with David and Arlene.
235
00:10:08,212 --> 00:10:10,480
Good people, Sam,
but colossal bores.
236
00:10:13,184 --> 00:10:15,051
So it turns out I can work.
237
00:10:15,085 --> 00:10:16,386
Well, thanks for, uh,
238
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:17,820
keeping us in mind here, Woody.
239
00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:19,956
Tell you what, why don't you,
uh, help out
240
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:22,559
by getting a couple of cases
of scotch from the back?
241
00:10:22,593 --> 00:10:24,460
Whoa!
242
00:10:24,495 --> 00:10:27,830
Do I look like I'm
dressed to carry scotch?
243
00:10:27,898 --> 00:10:30,500
Oh, well, what are
you dressed for?
244
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:32,669
Well, certainly not
whatever you're dressed for.
245
00:10:36,941 --> 00:10:39,108
Mr. Peterson, more crisps?
246
00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:40,777
What the hell are crisps?
247
00:10:40,811 --> 00:10:42,512
Well, they're what
you call potato chips.
248
00:10:42,546 --> 00:10:44,981
Although what I call chips,
you would call French fries.
249
00:10:45,049 --> 00:10:47,417
So, what are you saying,
we have French fries?
250
00:10:47,451 --> 00:10:49,419
Oh, Mr. Peterson,
251
00:10:49,453 --> 00:10:52,422
there's so much you don't see
from your little bar stool.
252
00:10:52,456 --> 00:10:53,690
Stop teasing me, Woody!
253
00:10:53,724 --> 00:10:55,825
Do we have French
fries, or don't we?
254
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:58,061
Norm, you don't have
to get upset with Woody.
255
00:10:58,095 --> 00:11:00,330
He's just been on the trip
of a lifetime,
256
00:11:00,364 --> 00:11:02,131
and it rubbed off a little bit.
257
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,433
That's not such a surprise.
258
00:11:03,467 --> 00:11:04,734
Say it, don't spray it.
259
00:11:04,768 --> 00:11:07,670
This is cashmere, Miss Howe.
260
00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:09,339
You little snot!
261
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:13,776
I knew you back when you were
just an ignorant farm boy.
262
00:11:13,811 --> 00:11:15,778
That was about a
week and a half ago!
263
00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:17,947
You're right. That was
about a fortnight, wasn't it?
264
00:11:17,982 --> 00:11:18,948
Oh.
265
00:11:18,983 --> 00:11:20,383
- Come here.
- I want to talk
266
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:22,418
to you for a second.
Yeah, what is it, Sam?
267
00:11:22,453 --> 00:11:23,953
I don't know how to put this.
268
00:11:23,988 --> 00:11:25,488
Ow!
269
00:11:29,260 --> 00:11:31,027
What's the matter with you, Sam?
270
00:11:31,095 --> 00:11:32,339
I'll tell you what's the matter.
271
00:11:32,363 --> 00:11:33,963
You're acting like a real ass.
272
00:11:33,998 --> 00:11:35,732
I think you
mean "arse."
273
00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:39,169
That's starting to hurt!
274
00:11:39,203 --> 00:11:41,271
You know, it doesn't take a fool
275
00:11:41,305 --> 00:11:43,606
to see what's going
on here, but I do.
276
00:11:46,577 --> 00:11:48,144
You're all jealous.
277
00:11:48,179 --> 00:11:50,013
This is a case of
"Poor little us.
278
00:11:50,047 --> 00:11:50,980
"We don't have the money
279
00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:52,549
to do the things
that Woody can do."
280
00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:54,717
Well, as we say back
in merry old England...
281
00:11:54,752 --> 00:11:56,619
tough!
282
00:11:56,654 --> 00:11:59,522
Woody, Woody, Woody,
Woody, come here.
283
00:11:59,557 --> 00:12:00,423
Look...
284
00:12:00,457 --> 00:12:01,524
Yes, Mr. Peterson.
285
00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:02,759
All Sam was trying to s...
286
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:04,761
Ow!
287
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:07,830
That was for the
French fries, okay?
288
00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:10,133
What's the matter with you guys?
289
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:11,434
Why are you all hitting me?
290
00:12:11,468 --> 00:12:13,079
Well, 'cause your hanging
around with rich people
291
00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:14,971
has turned you
into a little monster.
292
00:12:15,005 --> 00:12:16,406
What are you talking about?
293
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,507
I'm no monster.
294
00:12:17,541 --> 00:12:19,275
I'm still the same
old Woody Gaines.
295
00:12:22,012 --> 00:12:25,381
Wait a minute, I'm
Woody Boyd, right?
296
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:28,084
Oh, Sam, I have
changed, haven't I?
297
00:12:28,152 --> 00:12:30,153
Yeah, I'm afraid you have.
298
00:12:30,221 --> 00:12:31,955
Ah, don't... don't hit
me again, all right?
299
00:12:31,989 --> 00:12:34,057
You don't have to beat it
into me, all right?
300
00:12:34,091 --> 00:12:35,191
I know I'm a jerk!
301
00:12:35,226 --> 00:12:37,427
I'm the biggest jerk
that ever lived!
302
00:12:40,197 --> 00:12:41,364
Hey, uh, how come I didn't
303
00:12:41,398 --> 00:12:43,499
get a chance to smack him?
304
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:46,269
Hi, Woody.
305
00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:48,972
I just dropped David and Arlene
off at the hotel, and...
306
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:51,875
Uh-oh, something's wrong.
307
00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:54,978
I can tell.
308
00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:57,447
I'll tell you
what's wrong, Kelly.
309
00:12:57,481 --> 00:12:58,882
All your money has changed me.
310
00:12:58,916 --> 00:13:00,650
I don't know who I am anymore.
311
00:13:00,718 --> 00:13:02,185
I'm pretending to be English.
312
00:13:02,219 --> 00:13:03,920
I'm pretending to be
something I'm not.
313
00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:07,090
My life has gone
completely down the loo!
314
00:13:26,342 --> 00:13:27,442
Woody!
315
00:13:27,477 --> 00:13:29,144
Aren't you ever coming
out of there?
316
00:13:29,178 --> 00:13:31,280
You're starting to scare me.
317
00:13:31,314 --> 00:13:33,148
Sorry, Kelly.
318
00:13:33,182 --> 00:13:35,284
I'm not trying to scare
you, but it... it's just,
319
00:13:35,318 --> 00:13:37,152
your money is turning
me into a monster.
320
00:13:37,186 --> 00:13:38,854
All my old friends hate me now.
321
00:13:42,225 --> 00:13:44,259
But everything
was going so well.
322
00:13:44,294 --> 00:13:45,427
What happened?
323
00:13:45,461 --> 00:13:47,262
I just looked into a mirror,
324
00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:49,031
and I didn't like what I saw.
325
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:54,369
Whatever's wrong,
we can work it out.
326
00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,772
It's a little more
complicated than that, Kelly.
327
00:13:58,508 --> 00:14:01,743
It's like she's having a fight
with Señor Wences.
328
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,414
Come on in, Kelly.
329
00:14:05,448 --> 00:14:07,216
Thank you.
330
00:14:11,654 --> 00:14:14,223
You know, Sammy, you could nail
that door shut right now.
331
00:14:14,257 --> 00:14:15,390
I didn't see a thing.
332
00:14:19,862 --> 00:14:21,697
Wow.
333
00:14:21,731 --> 00:14:23,665
What a big moose head.
334
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,536
Kelly, I don't think this
is the time for name-calling.
335
00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:29,271
What's wrong, Woody?
336
00:14:29,305 --> 00:14:31,006
Don't you see, I'm
trying so hard
337
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,241
to fit into your world
338
00:14:32,275 --> 00:14:34,543
that I'm starting to lose mine.
339
00:14:34,577 --> 00:14:37,646
Yeah... so?
340
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,648
The point is, I'm changing.
341
00:14:39,682 --> 00:14:41,583
Suddenly, Mr. Peterson
and Mr. Clavin
342
00:14:41,618 --> 00:14:42,718
aren't that interesting.
343
00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:44,987
It can't be them,
so it must be me.
344
00:14:45,021 --> 00:14:48,090
Woody, I know
what you're going through.
345
00:14:48,124 --> 00:14:50,392
Oh, Kelly, you don't understand.
346
00:14:50,426 --> 00:14:52,561
You'll never understand.
It's hopeless.
347
00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:53,562
Good-bye, Kelly!
348
00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:55,497
Woody!
349
00:14:55,531 --> 00:14:57,299
Woody!
350
00:14:57,333 --> 00:14:58,967
Woody, don't go!
351
00:14:59,002 --> 00:15:00,969
Sam, do something!
352
00:15:01,004 --> 00:15:02,971
All right, all right,
I'll get him.
353
00:15:03,006 --> 00:15:05,874
Hey, uh, Norm, watch the bar
for me, will you?
354
00:15:05,909 --> 00:15:08,477
Oh, all right.
355
00:15:37,373 --> 00:15:38,907
Kelly...
356
00:15:38,942 --> 00:15:41,643
There, there.
357
00:15:50,787 --> 00:15:54,256
Mr. Peterson, you're
so understanding.
358
00:15:54,290 --> 00:15:55,924
Uh, well, uh,
359
00:15:55,959 --> 00:15:58,093
yes... Thanks for reaching out.
360
00:15:58,127 --> 00:16:00,295
Yeah, Kelly, uh...
361
00:16:00,330 --> 00:16:02,464
Cheer up!
362
00:16:04,801 --> 00:16:07,269
It's just that I'm so alone.
363
00:16:07,303 --> 00:16:08,804
I feel that all the love
364
00:16:08,838 --> 00:16:10,539
has gone out of my life.
365
00:16:12,809 --> 00:16:14,409
Am I bothering you,
Mr. Peterson?
366
00:16:15,511 --> 00:16:17,613
No, no, it's either, uh,
367
00:16:17,647 --> 00:16:19,448
listen to it here
or listen to it at home.
368
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:26,722
What am I gonna do?
369
00:16:26,756 --> 00:16:29,391
He says that all my money
bothers him
370
00:16:29,425 --> 00:16:31,627
and he can't live in my world.
371
00:16:31,661 --> 00:16:34,062
Kelly, why don't you try living
in his world?
372
00:16:34,097 --> 00:16:36,265
What are you saying, that...
373
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:39,067
that we can make it if I
can just learn to...
374
00:16:39,102 --> 00:16:40,769
to live without all my money?
375
00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:42,371
Yeah, I guess.
376
00:16:42,405 --> 00:16:43,805
Well, I can do that.
377
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:44,840
It'll be easy.
378
00:16:44,874 --> 00:16:46,408
I don't know, Kelly.
379
00:16:46,442 --> 00:16:49,011
You're gonna have to give up
an awful lot of stuff.
380
00:16:49,045 --> 00:16:51,547
For example, no more limousines.
381
00:16:51,581 --> 00:16:53,348
Oh, that's okay.
382
00:16:53,383 --> 00:16:55,517
I can take taxis.
383
00:16:55,552 --> 00:16:58,487
No, Kelly, I don't think Woody
can even afford taxis.
384
00:16:58,521 --> 00:16:59,761
You'll have to take the subway.
385
00:16:59,789 --> 00:17:01,056
The what?
386
00:17:02,225 --> 00:17:03,825
The "T"... you know, the subway.
387
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:04,960
Come again?
388
00:17:04,994 --> 00:17:07,996
The subway, the...
the little trains
389
00:17:08,031 --> 00:17:10,599
that run underground,
carry people back and forth.
390
00:17:10,633 --> 00:17:14,636
Right, an underground train.
391
00:17:16,539 --> 00:17:19,274
You're such a joker,
Mr. Peterson.
392
00:17:19,309 --> 00:17:21,543
Kelly, they exist, and, and...
393
00:17:21,578 --> 00:17:23,412
most people take them
to work every day.
394
00:17:23,446 --> 00:17:25,480
Sure they do,
Mr. Peterson.
395
00:17:25,515 --> 00:17:28,383
All right, I'll take your
little underground train
396
00:17:28,418 --> 00:17:29,484
tomorrow morning.
397
00:17:29,519 --> 00:17:31,820
Underground trains!
398
00:17:31,854 --> 00:17:33,388
Woo-woo!
399
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:37,859
Okay, finally.
400
00:17:37,894 --> 00:17:39,828
Daddy's home.
401
00:17:45,001 --> 00:17:46,568
Oh, I couldn't catch up
with Woody.
402
00:17:46,603 --> 00:17:48,070
I saw...
403
00:17:48,104 --> 00:17:49,982
saw Kelly going down the street.
Is she all right?
404
00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,817
Oh, no, Sammy, she looked
real... really upset.
405
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:52,841
You better go after her.
406
00:17:52,876 --> 00:17:54,409
All right, all right.
407
00:18:02,051 --> 00:18:06,054
Sometimes I swear it'd be easier
to just buy these things.
408
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:10,726
Boy, oh, boy.
409
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,362
Woody and Kelly split up, huh?
410
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,530
Yes, well, I guess having access
to all her money
411
00:18:15,565 --> 00:18:17,633
made him feel a little
like a leech.
412
00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:20,636
You, uh, seem to make the word
"leech" sound, uh,
413
00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:21,870
pejorative, there, Fras.
414
00:18:23,306 --> 00:18:25,207
An educated man would be proud
415
00:18:25,241 --> 00:18:26,508
to be called a leech.
416
00:18:26,543 --> 00:18:28,343
Leeches are a boon to mankind.
417
00:18:28,378 --> 00:18:30,145
I take it you're referring
to the practice
418
00:18:30,179 --> 00:18:32,247
of using leeches
as a medical cure-all,
419
00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:33,415
a practice which has been
420
00:18:33,449 --> 00:18:35,284
discredited for centuries now.
421
00:18:35,318 --> 00:18:36,885
Discredited...
422
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,854
or covered up?
423
00:18:38,888 --> 00:18:41,056
Well, you've got me there.
424
00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:43,559
Sure, your big drug companies
don't want you
425
00:18:43,593 --> 00:18:45,694
to find out about leeches...
You know why?
426
00:18:45,728 --> 00:18:46,929
Leeches are free.
427
00:18:46,963 --> 00:18:48,297
Yes, sir.
428
00:18:48,331 --> 00:18:50,299
I... I have great respect
for the leech.
429
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,833
I'm sure the feeling's mutual.
430
00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:54,636
Hey, Fras?
431
00:18:54,671 --> 00:18:55,971
I've got the tools
432
00:18:56,005 --> 00:18:58,073
of a perfect workout right here.
433
00:18:58,107 --> 00:19:00,309
Jump rope, bag of doughnuts.
434
00:19:00,343 --> 00:19:02,444
Guess which one's yours.
435
00:19:02,478 --> 00:19:04,780
Didn't I tell you? I... I don't
need to work out today.
436
00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:06,759
I think I've reached
my peak form... isn't that great?
437
00:19:06,783 --> 00:19:08,684
Yeah. Okay, get
in the pool room.
438
00:19:08,718 --> 00:19:09,785
We've got work to do.
439
00:19:09,819 --> 00:19:11,330
You weren't listening,
I don't need any...
440
00:19:11,354 --> 00:19:12,454
I'm all better!
441
00:19:12,488 --> 00:19:14,122
Come on... pool room.
442
00:19:15,091 --> 00:19:16,558
Hey, guys.
443
00:19:16,593 --> 00:19:17,893
Hey, Wood!
Woody!
444
00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:20,162
Ah, it's good to be back, guys.
445
00:19:20,196 --> 00:19:22,364
Yeah, even though I had
to give up Kelly
446
00:19:22,398 --> 00:19:25,133
and I'm heartbroken,
I'm pretty miserable,
447
00:19:25,168 --> 00:19:27,469
at least I'm not rich.
448
00:19:27,503 --> 00:19:30,105
Well, Wood, it may not be
as bad as you think.
449
00:19:30,139 --> 00:19:32,107
Well, what do you mean,
Mr. Peterson?
450
00:19:32,141 --> 00:19:34,743
Kelly and I had a little
heart-to-heart last night,
451
00:19:34,777 --> 00:19:37,379
and, uh, it turns out she's
gonna give up her money
452
00:19:37,413 --> 00:19:38,947
and try to live the way you do.
453
00:19:38,982 --> 00:19:41,283
Kelly wants to do that for me?
454
00:19:41,317 --> 00:19:42,461
Yep... matter of fact,
she's taking
455
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:43,662
the subway over here right now.
456
00:19:43,686 --> 00:19:45,520
Kelly's taking the subway
by herself?
457
00:19:45,555 --> 00:19:47,923
Yeah, she wanted to prove to you
she could do normal things.
458
00:19:47,957 --> 00:19:49,625
Well, she can't
do normal things.
459
00:19:49,659 --> 00:19:50,726
She's never learned how.
460
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,527
She's gonna be eaten alive
on that subway!
461
00:19:52,562 --> 00:19:53,695
Go after her, Wood.
462
00:19:53,730 --> 00:19:54,963
Good idea,
Mr. Peterson.
463
00:19:54,998 --> 00:19:56,465
Can you watch the bar for me?
464
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,367
Oh, all right!
465
00:20:01,137 --> 00:20:02,371
Some days, Cliffie,
466
00:20:02,405 --> 00:20:04,139
it's like shooting
fish in a barrel.
467
00:20:09,579 --> 00:20:11,390
Well, guys, I guess you're all
gonna eat your words,
468
00:20:11,414 --> 00:20:12,347
'cause guess what I brought.
469
00:20:12,382 --> 00:20:13,515
I give up.
470
00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:16,251
Leeches!
471
00:20:16,286 --> 00:20:18,720
Yeah, look at these babies.
472
00:20:18,755 --> 00:20:20,656
They can't keep
themselves off each other.
473
00:20:22,158 --> 00:20:23,425
Where'd you get those?
474
00:20:23,459 --> 00:20:25,494
I have my sources.
475
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,563
Why are they here?
476
00:20:27,597 --> 00:20:30,198
Oh, it's like a living
first aid kit, Norm.
477
00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:32,234
You know, a cure-all
for anything
478
00:20:32,268 --> 00:20:35,804
from a minor scrape
to a sucking chest wound.
479
00:20:35,838 --> 00:20:38,774
Ooh, look
at the disgusting leeches!
480
00:20:40,076 --> 00:20:42,411
Hey, what's in the jar?
481
00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:48,083
Hi, everybody. Where's Woody?
482
00:20:48,117 --> 00:20:49,851
Well, he's out looking for you.
483
00:20:49,886 --> 00:20:51,954
What happened, Kelly?
Did you get lost?
484
00:20:51,988 --> 00:20:55,290
No, I was having such a great
time I didn't want it to end.
485
00:20:55,325 --> 00:20:56,959
I love the subway.
486
00:20:56,993 --> 00:20:59,962
Wait a minute,
you liked the subway?
487
00:20:59,996 --> 00:21:00,963
Not at first.
488
00:21:00,997 --> 00:21:03,432
I got real angry
because a lot of other people
489
00:21:03,466 --> 00:21:04,900
tried to get on my subway car.
490
00:21:07,971 --> 00:21:09,738
And then I met some young people
491
00:21:09,772 --> 00:21:11,173
who apparently work for the city
492
00:21:11,207 --> 00:21:12,975
because they
were spray-painting the walls,
493
00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:16,245
and they let me write, "Kelly
loves Woody," in a big red heart.
494
00:21:17,614 --> 00:21:20,115
And then the pigs came
and we ran.
495
00:21:21,618 --> 00:21:23,719
Well, I'm out of here...
Workout's over.
496
00:21:23,753 --> 00:21:25,053
Good day, all.
497
00:21:25,088 --> 00:21:26,088
That was quick, huh?
498
00:21:26,122 --> 00:21:27,522
It only lasted a
couple of minutes.
499
00:21:27,557 --> 00:21:30,025
Yes, well, you know,
when you're focused...
500
00:21:30,059 --> 00:21:31,360
Where's Sammy?
501
00:21:31,394 --> 00:21:33,795
Um, I don't know.
502
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:35,564
Bye-bye.
503
00:21:40,837 --> 00:21:41,937
Woody!
504
00:21:41,971 --> 00:21:44,039
Oh, Kelly,
thank God you're okay.
505
00:21:44,073 --> 00:21:46,408
Woody, what happened to you?
506
00:21:46,442 --> 00:21:48,477
Oh, I got mugged on the subway.
507
00:21:50,146 --> 00:21:51,914
Oh, my poor Woody.
508
00:21:51,948 --> 00:21:53,749
Come and sit down.
509
00:21:55,084 --> 00:21:56,852
Do you want me to call the pigs?
510
00:21:59,322 --> 00:22:01,023
No, no, I...
I'm okay now.
511
00:22:01,057 --> 00:22:02,024
They didn't get much.
512
00:22:02,058 --> 00:22:03,458
They just scared me a little.
513
00:22:03,493 --> 00:22:05,127
Kelly, I don't ever want you
514
00:22:05,161 --> 00:22:06,495
to ride that subway again.
515
00:22:06,529 --> 00:22:08,397
Oh, but Woody, I just
wanted to show you
516
00:22:08,431 --> 00:22:10,098
that I can live
without all my money.
517
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:12,044
Well, I don't want you to
live without your money.
518
00:22:12,068 --> 00:22:13,279
I... I think it's
wrong for someone
519
00:22:13,303 --> 00:22:14,570
to have to give up their money.
520
00:22:14,604 --> 00:22:16,805
Kind of came to me as I was...
521
00:22:16,839 --> 00:22:19,107
handing over my wallet.
522
00:22:21,177 --> 00:22:22,811
But if you live on my money,
523
00:22:22,845 --> 00:22:24,746
aren't you afraid you'll
turn into a monster?
524
00:22:24,781 --> 00:22:26,915
Oh, here's what we're gonna do.
525
00:22:26,950 --> 00:22:29,184
We're gonna be a
two-income family.
526
00:22:29,219 --> 00:22:31,253
You live off of your income,
527
00:22:31,287 --> 00:22:34,056
and I'll live off of mine.
528
00:22:34,090 --> 00:22:36,725
Woody, you're so smart.
529
00:22:36,759 --> 00:22:38,260
I love you.
530
00:22:38,294 --> 00:22:39,494
I love you, Kelly.
531
00:22:39,529 --> 00:22:40,862
Ow!
Oh!
532
00:22:40,897 --> 00:22:43,165
Oh, Woody, your eye
is swelling shut.
533
00:22:43,199 --> 00:22:44,433
What are we gonna do?
534
00:22:44,467 --> 00:22:46,969
Come on, babies, time
to earn your bacon.