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Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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Hey, guys, mail's in.
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All right, let's see...
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Mr. Peterson.
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Mr. Peterson.
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Mr. Peterson.
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Occupant.
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Mr. Peterson.
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Mr. Boyd.
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Oh, hey, that's me.
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Oh, yeah, I ordered
this weeks ago.
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This is a whole big book
of crossword puzzles.
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All right. Well,
let's check them out.
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Hey, this is great
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because it has all
the answers in the back
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so we don't have to worry
about all those confusing clues.
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All right,
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one across.
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"Penguin."
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Penguin?
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Hey, hey, hey, it fits.
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All right!
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Hey, these are great once
you get the hang of them, huh?
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¶ Sometimes you want to go.
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
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¶ You wanna be
where you can see ¶
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¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You wanna go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
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Oh, hey, Miss Howe.
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You look nice.
What's the occasion?
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Well, I just signed up with
an executive placement agency,
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and I have all sorts
of interviews
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lined up this afternoon.
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I feel really great about it.
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I'm finally gonna get myself out
of this brain-dead mausoleum.
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Oh, no offense, guys.
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Huh?
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Well, I'm off.
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Good luck, Miss Howe.
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Thanks, Woody,
but I don't need it.
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I'm wearing my lucky dress.
I can't lose.
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Hi, Sam. I'm off to get a job.
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Nothing can stop me now.
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In that?
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Oh, who am I fooling?
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They're not going to hire
a loser like me.
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Hey, just saw
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the neatest little present
in this kids' shop.
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Look at this.
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Does this say little
Freddie Crane or what, huh?
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"Babe hound in training."
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Afternoon, all.
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Hey, Dr. Crane.
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Dr. Sternin-Crane.
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And little Frederick
Crane-Sternin-Crane-Crane.
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What can I get you?
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I know I could use
a glass of water.
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Hey, it's my best pal.
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Well, hello to you, too, Sam.
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Oh, hey, Fras.
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Hi, there.
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Give me five.
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Pow!
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So what are you guys doing here?
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Someone got a little thirsty while
we were playing in the park.
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Aw, yeah, I see.
Need some juice?
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You said it.
Scotch on the rocks.
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I'm joking.
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No, Sam, Uh, just
a little apple juice
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and, uh, a couple
of ginger ales.
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We're having quality
family time.
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That's right.
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I canceled every single one
of my appointments today.
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And I called in sick to the lab.
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I placed some gauze
over the telephone
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and altered my voice
so as to appear ill.
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And the Oscar goes to...
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Here we are, dear.
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So, we decided to have a lovely
afternoon with a picnic,
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and now we're off
to go fly a kite.
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Oh, hey, I noticed
it was windy, too.
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I went out and I got little
Frederick this kite, huh?
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What do you think?
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I've got an idea.
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Why don't we, uh, why don't
we go try these babies.
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I'll be right back.
I'm gonna get my jacket.
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Sam is tagging along?
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We need some time to ourselves.
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Well, you know,
darling, it is Sam.
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Frasier, am I going
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to have to play "bad cop?"
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Now, let me understand...
94
00:04:02,194 --> 00:04:04,794
are you saying that
up, up until this point,
95
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you've been playing "good cop?"
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Hey, Frasier, I've got an idea.
We can tie your little kite
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to the end of this
and make a great tail.
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Coming.
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I'm coming.
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Oh, it's you.
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Yeah. Hi, hi, Lilith.
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Hey, look at you.
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You've got hair like a woman.
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I'm here to watch
Huckleberry Hound.
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At 5:53 a.m.?
106
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Yeah. Yeah.
107
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Yesterday, me
and Freddie decided
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we're gonna watch some cartoons.
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Who decided?
The child can barely speak.
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Well, he can nod. Hey, Frasier.
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Hey, Freddie, we're gonna
watch the cartoons.
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That wasn't Sam Malone, was it?
113
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Please tell me
that was an armed intruder.
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It was Sam.
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Frasier, you've got
to do something.
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Every day he gets here
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a little earlier,
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and every night
he leaves a little later.
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Well, darling,
he, he is a friend of ours.
120
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It's getting so we can't
make love in the morning.
121
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I didn't know we could make love
in the morning.
122
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We can't.
123
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It was just a "for instance."
124
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The point is
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I don't like people seeing me
in my nightgown.
126
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It undermines my authority.
127
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I really wouldn't worry
about that.
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Frasier, do something.
129
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Well, my love, let's...
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let's try to use some insight
into what Sam's going through.
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His affection for Frederick
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is not unusual under
the circumstances.
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After all, he's an aging playboy
134
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who is just now
coming to realize
135
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that... he has nothing,
136
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and that he's
got no progeny left
137
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to carry on his name.
138
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And that is a frightening
revelation for any man.
139
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Frasier, it's 5:55
in the morning.
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The heave-ho.
141
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Sam, could you come
down here, please?
142
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Oh, good timing.
Commercial's on.
143
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Sam, there's something
we have to ask you.
144
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Yeah, good,
145
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because there's something
we have to ask you, too.
146
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What's for breakfast?
147
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He's reacting to the nightgown.
148
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Sam, look, as much
as we adore you,
149
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and are happy that you've taken
such an interest in Frederick,
150
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we, we're just not getting
151
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enough private time
to ourselves.
152
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Oh, say no more. I understand.
You guys want to be alone.
153
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Sure, tell you what.
154
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Why don't, uh, Freddie and I
go over to my apartment
155
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and you can catch up
with us later?
156
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No, no, Sam. You misunderstand.
157
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We're not saying
that we want to be intimate
158
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with each other right now.
159
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God forbid while the sun's up.
160
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No, no, we're just saying
that we'd like to spend the day
161
00:07:05,594 --> 00:07:07,793
with our son,
just the three of us.
162
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Oh.
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Well, shoot.
164
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You should have told me sooner.
165
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I mean, I don't want
to, you know,
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horn in on you guys.
167
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Tell you what, Freddie,
we're gonna have
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to watch cartoons
some other time, all right?
169
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Why don't you now go over
to your daddy, huh?
170
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There you go. Go to Daddy.
171
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Go on, Freddie. It's okay.
172
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Oh, fine. Now you see
what you've done?
173
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My son likes you better
than he likes me.
174
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No, don't be silly.
175
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Come on, go to Daddy.
You'll have fun.
176
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He loves you.
177
00:07:36,594 --> 00:07:38,294
Oh, now you're being sarcastic.
178
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I'm not being sarcastic.
179
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Come on. Come on.
180
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:44,693
Go to your daddy. Go on. Go.
181
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Okay, come on.
Go, go to your other daddy.
182
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Go to Uncle Frasier.
183
00:07:48,794 --> 00:07:52,094
Sam, you have turned
my son against me.
184
00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:53,394
If you two don't mind,
185
00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:54,994
I think I'll take
our little wishbone
186
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into the kitchen for breakfast.
187
00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:01,294
Oh, this is...
188
00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:02,494
Fras, I'm sorry.
189
00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:03,394
Sam, he's my son.
190
00:08:03,494 --> 00:08:05,194
I made him. I get to keep him.
191
00:08:07,694 --> 00:08:09,893
Come on, Fras. Calm down.
192
00:08:09,894 --> 00:08:11,593
This is my house, my child
and my wife,
193
00:08:11,594 --> 00:08:13,394
who, thanks to you,
I don't even have time
194
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,993
to make love to in the morning.
195
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:15,994
I thought you said...
196
00:08:16,094 --> 00:08:17,194
All right, I'm raving!
197
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:24,794
I'm sorry.
198
00:08:24,894 --> 00:08:26,594
It's just, uh...
I like your kid.
199
00:08:26,694 --> 00:08:28,094
I didn't know
I liked kids before.
200
00:08:28,194 --> 00:08:29,393
If you like kids so much,
201
00:08:29,394 --> 00:08:31,194
why don't you get
one of your own.
202
00:08:32,694 --> 00:08:33,994
Oh, Sam, Sam, look, I'm sorry.
203
00:08:34,094 --> 00:08:34,994
Oh, that's all right.
204
00:08:35,094 --> 00:08:36,494
You, you know I love you, right?
205
00:08:36,594 --> 00:08:38,894
I think you're one of the
greatest guys in the world.
206
00:08:38,994 --> 00:08:40,754
It's, it's just, it's
just a little bit early
207
00:08:40,794 --> 00:08:43,294
on a Saturday morning to, to
lose the love of your child.
208
00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:47,594
Now, if you...
you'd just excuse me.
209
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,293
I, I think I'll go try
to bond with my son
210
00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:51,593
over a bowl of Froot Loops.
211
00:08:51,594 --> 00:08:53,694
Oh, God, I love Froot Loops.
212
00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,094
Sorry, sorry.
213
00:09:06,294 --> 00:09:07,394
Oh, hey, Miss Howe.
214
00:09:07,494 --> 00:09:08,194
How was your interview?
215
00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:10,093
Did it go any better
than the others?
216
00:09:10,094 --> 00:09:11,294
Oh, yeah, the usual.
217
00:09:11,394 --> 00:09:13,294
You know, I was sitting
in the waiting room
218
00:09:13,394 --> 00:09:15,894
and got kind of nervous
so I just had a quick cigarette.
219
00:09:15,994 --> 00:09:18,294
You know, and that was
pretty much that.
220
00:09:30,994 --> 00:09:32,794
Think you could stop
throwing that thing?
221
00:09:32,894 --> 00:09:34,194
Why? Gives me something to do.
222
00:09:39,894 --> 00:09:41,594
We've got to talk.
223
00:09:41,694 --> 00:09:43,170
You know, ever since
I've been hanging around
224
00:09:43,194 --> 00:09:44,554
with Frasier and Lilith's kid,
I...
225
00:09:51,394 --> 00:09:54,393
Sammy, uh, you don't expect me
to pay for this beer, do you?
226
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,194
No.
227
00:09:56,294 --> 00:09:58,094
Good.
228
00:10:05,994 --> 00:10:08,093
Come on, what's wrong?
229
00:10:08,094 --> 00:10:11,194
Do you think guys have
a biological clock?
230
00:10:11,294 --> 00:10:14,093
You know, like they know
when it's time to have a kid?
231
00:10:14,094 --> 00:10:15,493
Oh, yeah.
232
00:10:15,494 --> 00:10:16,694
Usually when they say,
233
00:10:16,794 --> 00:10:19,493
"Hey, Carla, you want
to go out tonight?"
234
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:21,694
Come on. What's on your mind?
235
00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:23,694
Well, I've been thinking.
236
00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:26,193
You know, I'm, I'm not
that young anymore.
237
00:10:26,194 --> 00:10:29,294
It's not that I'm old.
It's just... that I'm not young.
238
00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:30,373
I'm not old-old.
239
00:10:30,374 --> 00:10:31,772
I'm just youngish.
240
00:10:31,773 --> 00:10:34,472
You know, I'm,
I'm a youngish man.
241
00:10:34,473 --> 00:10:37,173
Please go on.
242
00:10:37,273 --> 00:10:40,672
Well, I'm thinking about...
thinking about being a dad.
243
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,772
What?
244
00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:44,573
Yeah.
245
00:10:44,673 --> 00:10:46,573
You know, I've been playing
around all my life
246
00:10:46,673 --> 00:10:48,913
and, I don't know, you know,
maybe I'm missing something.
247
00:10:48,994 --> 00:10:50,994
Have you thought
about getting a dog?
248
00:10:51,194 --> 00:10:53,094
I don't want a dog.
249
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,694
You know, I want someone
to be with,
250
00:10:54,794 --> 00:10:57,993
to, to take care of,
to watch grow.
251
00:10:57,994 --> 00:10:59,794
Have you thought
about getting a plant?
252
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:04,093
You don't think
I'll be a good father?
253
00:11:04,094 --> 00:11:07,894
Oh, no, no, I think
you'd be a great father.
254
00:11:07,994 --> 00:11:09,893
Do you have a mother picked out?
255
00:11:09,894 --> 00:11:12,694
No, not really.
256
00:11:12,894 --> 00:11:14,194
Oh.
257
00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:16,994
Does that mean, uh,
you're not going to ask me?
258
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:17,994
Well, I'm, I'm sorry.
259
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,594
You know, I didn't
think of that.
260
00:11:19,694 --> 00:11:20,694
Yeah, would you?
261
00:11:20,794 --> 00:11:22,094
What are you, nuts?
262
00:11:24,694 --> 00:11:26,993
Do you think I'm gonna go
through labor an eighth time
263
00:11:26,994 --> 00:11:28,394
because you're a little lonely?
264
00:11:30,494 --> 00:11:32,094
Selfish bastard.
265
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,793
Aw, you know,
with me it doesn't matter.
266
00:11:35,794 --> 00:11:37,894
What the heck?
I know a hundred women.
267
00:11:37,994 --> 00:11:39,893
What am I talking about?
268
00:11:39,894 --> 00:11:41,593
I know thousands of women.
269
00:11:41,594 --> 00:11:42,994
What am I talking about?
270
00:11:43,094 --> 00:11:44,994
I know tens of
thousands of women.
271
00:11:45,094 --> 00:11:46,734
Wait, wait, wait.
What am I talking about?
272
00:11:46,794 --> 00:11:47,394
Sam...
273
00:11:47,594 --> 00:11:48,894
come on, now,
274
00:11:48,994 --> 00:11:51,294
just think about this
for a minute.
275
00:11:51,394 --> 00:11:53,894
Do you really, really want this?
276
00:11:53,994 --> 00:11:56,593
Yeah, I really,
really want this.
277
00:11:56,594 --> 00:11:58,293
Come on, Sam.
278
00:11:58,294 --> 00:12:01,594
Do you have any idea
what it means to have a kid?
279
00:12:02,994 --> 00:12:05,994
It's changing dirty diapers
and getting spit-up stains
280
00:12:06,094 --> 00:12:08,694
on those shoulders
of your best clothes, and...
281
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:10,993
and ear infections
in the middle of the night,
282
00:12:10,994 --> 00:12:13,693
and shoving antibiotics
down their throats,
283
00:12:13,694 --> 00:12:16,893
and worrying about them
every day and every night
284
00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:18,894
for the rest of your life.
285
00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:20,894
How does that sound?
286
00:12:21,994 --> 00:12:24,094
Sounds cool.
287
00:12:25,594 --> 00:12:26,994
Yeah.
288
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,694
It is, kind of.
289
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:36,594
Would they, like, really
spit it up on, um, leather?
290
00:12:36,694 --> 00:12:38,894
Oh, they know fabrics.
291
00:12:51,198 --> 00:12:53,298
So, who's gonna be the mom, Sam?
292
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,198
I haven't figured
that out yet, Woody,
293
00:12:55,298 --> 00:12:58,098
but, you know, she's got
to be somewhere in here.
294
00:12:58,198 --> 00:13:00,098
Or here.
295
00:13:05,798 --> 00:13:07,098
Well, what about Miss Howe?
296
00:13:07,198 --> 00:13:10,197
She's getting up there like you.
297
00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:12,198
She's probably about
ready to have a kid.
298
00:13:12,298 --> 00:13:13,898
And she's very responsible.
299
00:13:13,998 --> 00:13:15,698
I think that was
my best interview yet.
300
00:13:15,798 --> 00:13:17,698
I think that they really
were impressed with me
301
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:20,798
until I accidentally knocked
the CEO into a fax machine
302
00:13:20,898 --> 00:13:24,597
and sent a copy of his butt
to Wichita.
303
00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:27,398
See, Sam, you could've
asked her just now.
304
00:13:29,498 --> 00:13:31,098
Oh, wait a minute. Here you go.
305
00:13:31,198 --> 00:13:32,198
Now, this could work out.
306
00:13:32,199 --> 00:13:34,297
What am I doing?
What am I gonna say?
307
00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:36,298
I have to figure out
how to word this.
308
00:13:36,498 --> 00:13:37,597
Hold on a second.
309
00:13:37,598 --> 00:13:39,898
Excuse me, miss?
310
00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:42,398
Uh, can I ask you a question?
Sure.
311
00:13:42,498 --> 00:13:44,397
All right, just
hypothetically, now,
312
00:13:44,398 --> 00:13:46,598
say someone you've been dating,
you know, a couple times
313
00:13:46,698 --> 00:13:50,297
calls you up to say, uh, "Hey,
we had some laughs together."
314
00:13:50,298 --> 00:13:52,098
What say we have a baby?"
315
00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:54,474
Now, I'm not talking commitment
here; don't misunderstand me.
316
00:13:54,498 --> 00:13:55,998
You know, maybe yes, maybe no.
317
00:13:56,098 --> 00:13:59,297
The picture is: get
pregnant, have the baby,
318
00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:01,798
give it to me, go away.
319
00:14:01,898 --> 00:14:04,098
Uh...
320
00:14:04,198 --> 00:14:06,898
you know, just offhand,
how would you react to that?
321
00:14:06,998 --> 00:14:09,298
How would I react
if a guy called me up
322
00:14:09,398 --> 00:14:11,798
and asked me
to be a breeder for him?
323
00:14:11,898 --> 00:14:15,298
To be sort of an incubator
for his seed?
324
00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:17,498
Yeah, exactly. W-Wait a second.
325
00:14:17,598 --> 00:14:19,297
Let me, uh... let
me get a pencil.
326
00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:21,598
I want to write this down.
327
00:14:21,798 --> 00:14:22,798
Okay.
328
00:14:27,598 --> 00:14:29,998
Okay, "incubator."
329
00:14:32,698 --> 00:14:35,198
"Breeder."
330
00:14:35,298 --> 00:14:37,698
Red-flag words.
331
00:14:39,498 --> 00:14:41,998
You know, uh, if it's a boy,
332
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:45,598
I just hope he names it
Clifford Clavin Malone.
333
00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:48,298
I don't care what he names it
334
00:14:48,398 --> 00:14:49,997
as long as he doesn't
bring it in here.
335
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:51,898
If there's one thing
I can't stand, it's babies.
336
00:14:51,998 --> 00:14:53,598
Oh, come on, Mr. Krapence.
337
00:14:53,698 --> 00:14:55,498
Wouldn't you like
a helpless little guy
338
00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:59,198
all soft and cuddly who you could
burp every once in a while?
339
00:15:01,298 --> 00:15:04,298
Yeah, we need
another one of those.
340
00:15:08,098 --> 00:15:09,598
Sam.
341
00:15:11,498 --> 00:15:15,597
Listen, Sam, I... I'd like
to apologize about this morning
342
00:15:15,598 --> 00:15:17,597
when I kicked you out.
343
00:15:17,598 --> 00:15:19,397
I...
344
00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:21,298
I forgot how much
Freddie means to you
345
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:23,198
and how much you mean to him.
346
00:15:24,698 --> 00:15:26,598
I also forgot that Lilith and I
have two tickets
347
00:15:26,698 --> 00:15:28,497
to Jerome Robbins' Broadway
tonight... hundred bucks a throw.
348
00:15:28,498 --> 00:15:30,497
If you think I'm gonna
miss that, you're nuts.
349
00:15:30,498 --> 00:15:33,298
Have fun, Freddie.
Daddy loves you.
350
00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:39,674
Hey, you want me
to lock up, Sam?
351
00:15:39,698 --> 00:15:42,997
No, thanks. I got to wait
for Frasier and Lilith.
352
00:15:42,998 --> 00:15:44,598
All right. Good night.
Good night.
353
00:15:46,398 --> 00:15:48,598
Hey, little buddy.
354
00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:52,497
So, what do you want
to watch there, Freddie?
355
00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:54,497
Whew!
356
00:15:54,498 --> 00:15:56,097
Congress and
the administration...
357
00:15:56,098 --> 00:15:57,798
24-hour news.
358
00:15:59,498 --> 00:16:00,897
Headline news.
359
00:16:00,898 --> 00:16:03,198
Local news.
360
00:16:03,298 --> 00:16:05,798
Oh, hey. Elvis.
361
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:06,798
¶
362
00:16:06,898 --> 00:16:09,798
¶ Night and you.
363
00:16:09,898 --> 00:16:11,597
¶ And Blue.
364
00:16:11,598 --> 00:16:15,398
¶ Hawaii ¶ Blue Hawaii.
365
00:16:19,198 --> 00:16:20,498
Hey, Sam.
366
00:16:20,598 --> 00:16:21,598
What?
367
00:16:21,698 --> 00:16:22,897
Sam.
368
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,097
Who's there?
369
00:16:25,098 --> 00:16:26,798
Up-up here, Sam. It's me, Elvis.
370
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,198
Elvis?
371
00:16:32,298 --> 00:16:33,374
Yeah. Come on over here, man.
372
00:16:33,398 --> 00:16:34,998
I don't want to have
to shout at you.
373
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,898
I'm having a dream about Elvis.
374
00:16:42,998 --> 00:16:46,198
What do you want with me, Elvis?
375
00:16:48,898 --> 00:16:50,198
I want to tell you something.
376
00:16:50,298 --> 00:16:51,658
You're right about
wanting a child.
377
00:16:51,698 --> 00:16:53,898
You know, the best thing
that ever happened to me
378
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:55,698
was having Lisa Marie.
379
00:16:55,798 --> 00:16:59,098
Here. Isn't she precious?
380
00:16:59,198 --> 00:17:00,697
Yeah, she's a real cutie.
381
00:17:00,698 --> 00:17:02,698
Well, you'll be happy
to know, Elvis,
382
00:17:02,798 --> 00:17:05,197
she turned out
to be a real babe.
383
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:08,198
Sam, don't make me
come through this TV.
384
00:17:09,998 --> 00:17:11,798
I'm sorry.
385
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:14,298
Now, this baby's gonna
need a mama, Sam.
386
00:17:14,398 --> 00:17:16,598
Yeah, I know that,
Elvis, but I...
387
00:17:16,698 --> 00:17:18,998
I can't think of anybody.
388
00:17:19,098 --> 00:17:20,998
Well, I just think
you're overlooking someone.
389
00:17:21,098 --> 00:17:21,998
Who?
390
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,198
Miss Rebecca Howe.
391
00:17:24,298 --> 00:17:25,797
Rebecca?
392
00:17:25,798 --> 00:17:27,398
Miss Rebecca.
393
00:17:29,098 --> 00:17:30,897
She's been a true friend,
394
00:17:30,898 --> 00:17:33,098
and-and you've been
through so much together.
395
00:17:33,198 --> 00:17:35,298
There's a lot of love
in her heart, Sam.
396
00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:37,498
She has no one to give it to.
397
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,298
And she's a handsome woman.
398
00:17:39,398 --> 00:17:41,498
Miss Rebecca? Really?
399
00:17:42,798 --> 00:17:44,698
Think about her, Sam.
I know I'm right.
400
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:46,597
Now, if you'll
just excuse me, man.
401
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:48,998
I got to go back and
frolic on a beach,
402
00:17:49,098 --> 00:17:50,898
or jump in a stock car race
or something.
403
00:17:50,998 --> 00:17:53,998
I don't know what they
got me doing in this one.
404
00:17:54,098 --> 00:17:55,798
Later, Sam.
405
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,098
Isn't this sweet?
406
00:18:04,198 --> 00:18:07,898
My son and his baby-sitter
passed out in a bar.
407
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:15,098
No, it's okay... Ooh! Sam. Sam.
408
00:18:17,498 --> 00:18:18,398
I've got him, Sam.
409
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:19,698
Fras. Thanks.
410
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:20,898
Yeah.
411
00:18:24,598 --> 00:18:26,698
Say... Frasier.
412
00:18:26,798 --> 00:18:28,697
Whew!
413
00:18:28,698 --> 00:18:31,498
Weirdest thing
just happened to me.
414
00:18:31,598 --> 00:18:34,497
I could have sworn I just, uh,
415
00:18:34,498 --> 00:18:37,497
just had a conversation
with Elvis Presley.
416
00:18:37,498 --> 00:18:40,597
Well, Sam, I've had, uh,
four or five patients
417
00:18:40,598 --> 00:18:42,298
that have had the
same experience.
418
00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:45,397
I'll simply... simply
tell you what I told them.
419
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:47,198
The man is dead.
420
00:19:01,698 --> 00:19:03,497
Hi, Sam.
421
00:19:03,498 --> 00:19:06,698
Hi. Wh-What are you
doing back here?
422
00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:08,598
My night to lock up.
423
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:10,198
Besides, it looks like
424
00:19:10,298 --> 00:19:12,698
I'm still gonna be
working here anyway.
425
00:19:12,798 --> 00:19:13,898
Nobody else wants me.
426
00:19:13,998 --> 00:19:15,398
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
427
00:19:15,498 --> 00:19:16,898
Yeah, well, you know,
428
00:19:16,998 --> 00:19:20,098
maybe I've been barking up
the wrong tree my whole life.
429
00:19:20,198 --> 00:19:24,697
All these big dreams about
being a big corporate executive
430
00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:27,798
and, you know, having
a lot of power...
431
00:19:27,898 --> 00:19:29,898
a lot of control.
432
00:19:29,998 --> 00:19:34,098
I don't know why I've been
knocking my brains out.
433
00:19:34,198 --> 00:19:35,374
Maybe I should have just settled
434
00:19:35,398 --> 00:19:39,098
for some dumb, ordinary jerk,
you know, and raised a family.
435
00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:40,898
Wow.
436
00:19:48,698 --> 00:19:50,598
What?
437
00:19:50,698 --> 00:19:53,397
I was just, uh... I...
438
00:19:53,398 --> 00:19:55,397
you know, I've been
thinking the same thing.
439
00:19:55,398 --> 00:19:58,598
Only, you know, I was thinking
that you should have a child
440
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,297
with someone who is, you
know, good-looking and...
441
00:20:01,298 --> 00:20:03,597
and really cool.
442
00:20:03,598 --> 00:20:06,898
Yeah, well, I don't know
anybody like that.
443
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:08,898
What about me?
444
00:20:08,998 --> 00:20:10,798
What, you know
somebody like that?
445
00:20:10,898 --> 00:20:13,198
No, you know, I...
446
00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:15,697
what I mean is, I
was thinking that...
447
00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:18,598
you and I should have
a baby together.
448
00:20:20,698 --> 00:20:22,898
Oh, come on, Sam! What?
449
00:20:22,998 --> 00:20:24,198
No, why? Why not?
450
00:20:24,298 --> 00:20:25,597
I mean, think about it.
451
00:20:25,598 --> 00:20:27,197
You and I are good friends...
452
00:20:27,198 --> 00:20:28,497
Hell, you're my best friend...
453
00:20:28,498 --> 00:20:30,198
And we've been through
a lot together,
454
00:20:30,298 --> 00:20:33,298
and, you know, you... you
have a lot of love to give,
455
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,798
and you're a handsome woman.
456
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:41,598
Well, I-I'm flattered.
457
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:44,798
But I'm just... I'm not ready
to have a baby, Sam, you know?
458
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:47,897
I got a lot of things
left to do in my life.
459
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,798
Yeah? Like what? Like a lot.
460
00:20:49,898 --> 00:20:51,198
Well, all right, name one.
461
00:20:51,298 --> 00:20:54,097
Well, like I had always
planned on growing old
462
00:20:54,098 --> 00:20:55,998
and, you know, dying alone.
463
00:20:57,398 --> 00:20:59,398
You can still do that.
464
00:20:59,498 --> 00:21:01,398
Well, you don't just, you know,
465
00:21:01,498 --> 00:21:04,297
go out and have a baby
with somebody.
466
00:21:04,298 --> 00:21:05,998
Why not?
467
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,598
Well, I don't know why not.
468
00:21:07,698 --> 00:21:08,898
Then why not?
469
00:21:08,998 --> 00:21:10,098
And why with you?
470
00:21:10,198 --> 00:21:11,398
Why not?
471
00:21:11,498 --> 00:21:13,298
Well, but...
472
00:21:15,898 --> 00:21:17,498
Why not?
473
00:21:17,598 --> 00:21:19,298
I mean, we could.
474
00:21:19,398 --> 00:21:20,697
Yeah.
475
00:21:20,698 --> 00:21:22,498
And your mom did it.
My mom did...
476
00:21:22,598 --> 00:21:25,298
I mean, Carla does it
all the time.
477
00:21:27,898 --> 00:21:30,098
I mean, I... why shouldn't we?
478
00:21:30,198 --> 00:21:33,097
I mean, and, you know,
maybe this would be something
479
00:21:33,098 --> 00:21:35,098
that I'd finally be good at.
480
00:21:36,198 --> 00:21:38,898
So, will you?
481
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:41,298
'Kay.
482
00:21:44,098 --> 00:21:46,298
Let's have a baby.
483
00:21:54,198 --> 00:21:56,998
You know, I think this is
gonna change my whole life.
484
00:21:57,098 --> 00:21:57,998
Oh, yeah.
485
00:21:58,098 --> 00:22:01,198
I think, no more
Rebecca the jerk,
486
00:22:01,298 --> 00:22:05,298
no more Rebecca the goonball,
Rebecca the loser.
487
00:22:05,398 --> 00:22:06,797
Rebecca the mother!
488
00:22:06,798 --> 00:22:09,798
I'm gonna have
a brand-new human baby!
489
00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:13,597
I get to feed her.
I get to hold her!
490
00:22:13,598 --> 00:22:14,897
Oh!
491
00:22:14,898 --> 00:22:16,598
I can't wait!
492
00:22:16,698 --> 00:22:18,797
You know, a new life!
493
00:22:18,798 --> 00:22:22,598
A new life that depends
completely on me!
494
00:22:31,398 --> 00:22:33,697
Do you believe it?
I forgot my coat!
495
00:22:33,698 --> 00:22:36,898
I guess I'm just so excited
about this whole thing!
496
00:22:36,998 --> 00:22:39,798
I don't know.
I'm gonna be a mommy!
497
00:22:41,898 --> 00:22:45,498
Oh, a mommy!
498
00:22:48,998 --> 00:22:51,398
You'd better be right, Elvis.