1
00:00:10,058 --> 00:00:12,295
Oh, hey, Diane, do
me a favor, will you?

2
00:00:12,295 --> 00:00:14,431
Pour Mischa there
a real quick beer.

3
00:00:15,533 --> 00:00:17,035
Coming right up, Mischa.

4
00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:24,813
There you go.

5
00:00:29,953 --> 00:00:32,924
Sam, what is he
doing with his hand?

6
00:00:32,924 --> 00:00:36,061
He's a cymbals player
for the symphony,

7
00:00:36,061 --> 00:00:37,497
and they're in the
middle of a concert.

8
00:00:37,497 --> 00:00:39,534
He's counting out a long rest

9
00:00:39,534 --> 00:00:41,168
so he'll know exactly
when to get back

10
00:00:41,168 --> 00:00:42,203
for the big finish.

11
00:00:44,006 --> 00:00:46,910
Oh! Fascinating.

12
00:00:46,910 --> 00:00:48,913
Ok. That's $1.25 out of $20.

13
00:00:48,913 --> 00:00:53,152
1.50, 1.75, 2, 3,
4, 5, 10, and 20.

14
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:55,856
Geez!

15
00:00:57,859 --> 00:01:00,262
Musicians are very
temperamental.

16
00:01:07,038 --> 00:01:09,776
♪ Makin' your way
in the world today ♪

17
00:01:09,776 --> 00:01:12,445
♪ takes everything you've got ♪

18
00:01:12,445 --> 00:01:15,650
♪ takin' a break
from all your worries ♪

19
00:01:15,650 --> 00:01:17,920
♪ sure would help a lot ♪

20
00:01:19,055 --> 00:01:22,226
♪ wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪

21
00:01:24,663 --> 00:01:26,833
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪

22
00:01:26,833 --> 00:01:30,571
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪

23
00:01:32,073 --> 00:01:36,680
♪ and they're always
glad you came ♪

24
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,217
♪ you want to be
where you can see ♪

25
00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:41,821
♪ our troubles
are all the same ♪

26
00:01:41,821 --> 00:01:43,022
♪ you want to be ♪

27
00:01:43,022 --> 00:01:47,228
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪

28
00:01:47,228 --> 00:01:49,832
♪ you want to go
where people know ♪

29
00:01:49,832 --> 00:01:52,335
♪ people are all the same ♪

30
00:01:52,335 --> 00:01:53,704
♪ you want to go ♪

31
00:01:53,704 --> 00:01:57,108
♪ where everybody
knows your name ♪

32
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:20,708
Afternoon, everybody.

33
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,010
Norm! Norm!

34
00:02:22,010 --> 00:02:22,878
Norman.

35
00:02:22,878 --> 00:02:23,913
How's life, norm?

36
00:02:23,913 --> 00:02:28,085
Not for the squeamish, coach.

37
00:02:28,085 --> 00:02:29,921
Norm, what's the matter?

38
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:31,023
You're shaking there like a
meringue in an earthquake.

39
00:02:31,023 --> 00:02:32,825
My whole career
as an accountant,

40
00:02:32,825 --> 00:02:34,695
I just sat in my cubicle,

41
00:02:34,695 --> 00:02:36,430
kept my mouth shut, right?

42
00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:37,564
Today I made the mistake

43
00:02:37,564 --> 00:02:39,267
of volunteering for something.

44
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:41,037
What?

45
00:02:41,037 --> 00:02:43,206
Every year the firm
has a company party.

46
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,743
Guess who's party
director this year.

47
00:02:45,743 --> 00:02:46,945
Wait a minute. Let me guess.

48
00:02:46,945 --> 00:02:48,748
Let me guess. I'm
good at guessing.

49
00:02:48,748 --> 00:02:50,282
Uh... julius la Rosa.

50
00:02:51,785 --> 00:02:53,387
Warm, coach.

51
00:02:53,387 --> 00:02:54,723
Me.

52
00:02:54,723 --> 00:02:57,727
Gee. I should have taken
more time, huh, Sam?

53
00:02:57,727 --> 00:02:58,995
Probably.

54
00:03:00,196 --> 00:03:01,733
So how come you
volunteered, norm?

55
00:03:01,733 --> 00:03:04,169
Chance to make
points with the big boss.

56
00:03:04,169 --> 00:03:06,706
Last year, some
nobody named Jensen

57
00:03:06,706 --> 00:03:08,843
threw a luau in the parking lot.

58
00:03:08,843 --> 00:03:10,210
It was a big hit.

59
00:03:10,210 --> 00:03:12,513
You know where
that man is today?

60
00:03:12,513 --> 00:03:16,653
Leaning over my shoulder,
saying, "add faster."

61
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:19,390
Norman, I don't know
what you're so upset about.

62
00:03:19,390 --> 00:03:21,894
Sounds like a great
opportunity to me.

63
00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:23,463
That's what I thought.

64
00:03:23,463 --> 00:03:26,500
After I volunteered, I
realized I never threw a party.

65
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,070
I killed a few.

66
00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:33,343
Hey, what's the big deal, huh?

67
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,812
You want some excitement,

68
00:03:34,812 --> 00:03:37,783
you pay a sexy chick
to jump out of a cake.

69
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,485
Or if you want to
save a little money,

70
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:40,452
you could get Carla to do it.

71
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,191
Carla! Carla.

72
00:03:43,191 --> 00:03:45,527
Diane, strippers
aren't enough here!

73
00:03:45,527 --> 00:03:48,298
All right, norm. Will you
relax, will you? Life's too short.

74
00:03:48,298 --> 00:03:50,166
Cliff, you don't understand.

75
00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:52,036
We're talking about
100 accountants.

76
00:03:52,036 --> 00:03:54,907
Their lives are incredibly
dull all week long.

77
00:03:54,907 --> 00:03:56,109
You got to do something special

78
00:03:56,109 --> 00:03:59,213
to turn those guys
on, wake them up.

79
00:03:59,213 --> 00:04:02,383
Norm, the best party I was ever
at was in a locker room, right?

80
00:04:02,383 --> 00:04:03,986
We're all standing
around in our underwears,

81
00:04:03,986 --> 00:04:06,189
pouring champagne on each other,

82
00:04:06,189 --> 00:04:08,626
guys flinging guys into showers.

83
00:04:08,626 --> 00:04:10,028
It was terrific, norm.

84
00:04:10,028 --> 00:04:11,663
Coach, that was after we'd won

85
00:04:11,663 --> 00:04:13,233
the division championship.

86
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:15,636
That's right. That's why
we were all in Cleveland.

87
00:04:15,636 --> 00:04:16,904
Right.

88
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,978
Hey, norm, I got a great idea.

89
00:04:21,978 --> 00:04:24,514
Have yourself a hot tub party.

90
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,084
What?

91
00:04:26,084 --> 00:04:28,054
Yeah. It's the latest craze
out there in California.

92
00:04:28,054 --> 00:04:30,991
You know, your weirdo central.

93
00:04:30,991 --> 00:04:32,459
You get people in a hot tub,

94
00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:34,095
you never can tell
what's gonna happen.

95
00:04:34,095 --> 00:04:36,265
I mean, just today I was
delivering two copies of...

96
00:04:36,265 --> 00:04:38,101
What is it... Star
parade magazine.

97
00:04:38,101 --> 00:04:40,271
Guess who's on the
cover in a hot tub?

98
00:04:40,271 --> 00:04:41,805
Julius la Rosa.

99
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,843
No, it was Burt Reynolds, coach.

100
00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:47,681
Boy, I used to be
so good at this game.

101
00:04:47,681 --> 00:04:49,483
I did think of one icebreaker.

102
00:04:49,483 --> 00:04:52,220
You know, I go through
this year's audits,

103
00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:53,890
find the biggest mistakes,

104
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:56,293
and xerox them,
pass them around.

105
00:04:56,293 --> 00:04:59,297
We're talking monster
laughs, you know.

106
00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:03,436
Ooh, you're a maniac, normie.

107
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,640
Norman, perhaps I
can give you an idea

108
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,376
that you could actually use.

109
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:11,380
I think parties are the most fun

110
00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:13,984
when you can shed your
everyday, mundane identity

111
00:05:13,984 --> 00:05:15,954
and come as someone else.

112
00:05:15,954 --> 00:05:17,523
Back in college, I held a party

113
00:05:17,523 --> 00:05:20,928
where everyone came as
their favorite elizabethan poet.

114
00:05:20,928 --> 00:05:22,430
I remember...

115
00:05:23,998 --> 00:05:25,600
It was so great.

116
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,169
I chose Christopher marlowe

117
00:05:27,169 --> 00:05:29,805
because I was deeply into
doktor faustus at the time,

118
00:05:29,805 --> 00:05:33,912
but I still get letters from
people who loved it, Norman,

119
00:05:33,912 --> 00:05:35,114
loved it.

120
00:05:35,114 --> 00:05:37,116
Say, didn't we used to have

121
00:05:37,116 --> 00:05:39,453
a weekly elizabethan poet night?

122
00:05:39,453 --> 00:05:41,056
Yeah. Started getting too rowdy.

123
00:05:41,056 --> 00:05:42,458
Oh, yeah, yeah.

124
00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:44,460
I remember the night
you were charged

125
00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:47,598
with practicing iambic
pentameter without a license.

126
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:51,070
You know, Sam, if I'm to serve

127
00:05:51,070 --> 00:05:54,074
both as a waitress
and the butt of jokes,

128
00:05:54,074 --> 00:05:56,077
I think I should
make more money.

129
00:05:56,077 --> 00:05:59,915
Yeah, what does a good
butt make in this town?

130
00:06:02,051 --> 00:06:03,387
Ok, Norman.

131
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:06,124
In keeping with the
spirit of this establishment

132
00:06:06,124 --> 00:06:07,459
and its patrons,

133
00:06:07,459 --> 00:06:10,230
I suggest you get
totally down in the mud

134
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,731
and throw a toga party.

135
00:06:11,731 --> 00:06:13,234
Toga party?

136
00:06:13,234 --> 00:06:15,804
You mean, like where
they dress up in sheets?

137
00:06:15,804 --> 00:06:17,072
Oh, I'm sure you'd love it.

138
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:19,409
It's a stupid
fraternity tradition

139
00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:21,945
where a bunch of
borderline humans

140
00:06:21,945 --> 00:06:23,348
stand around swilling beer

141
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:24,950
and vomiting on themselves...

142
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:27,121
Until the inevitable denouement

143
00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:28,555
when they raise their robes

144
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,359
to reveal the depths
of their personalities.

145
00:06:32,361 --> 00:06:34,296
Hallelujah! I am saved!

146
00:06:34,296 --> 00:06:35,232
Yo!

147
00:06:35,232 --> 00:06:37,901
Yes, sir! I can see it.

148
00:06:37,901 --> 00:06:39,871
This is gonna make that
luau look like a pig roast.

149
00:06:39,871 --> 00:06:40,872
Easily, easily.

150
00:06:40,872 --> 00:06:42,275
Sammy, can I use cheers?

151
00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:44,110
I'll pay half what
you think it's worth.

152
00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,379
How can I pass that up, huh?

153
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:47,782
I got a lot to do here.

154
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,186
I should just go home
and close myself off

155
00:06:50,186 --> 00:06:51,387
and work out all the details.

156
00:06:51,387 --> 00:06:54,525
Nah, I can do that
in the bathroom.

157
00:07:15,921 --> 00:07:17,191
Sam.

158
00:07:19,494 --> 00:07:22,664
These people aren't
dressed in togas, are they?

159
00:07:22,664 --> 00:07:23,799
No, coach.

160
00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:26,837
I thought it was supposed
to be a toga party.

161
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:27,971
It is.

162
00:07:27,971 --> 00:07:29,908
I must be getting
my spells again.

163
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,343
I thought I had them licked.

164
00:07:31,343 --> 00:07:32,945
No, no, no, no.
You're all right, coach.

165
00:07:32,945 --> 00:07:34,448
You sure?

166
00:07:34,448 --> 00:07:35,649
Yes. You're all right.
These people just haven't

167
00:07:35,649 --> 00:07:38,553
gotten into the
spirit of the party yet.

168
00:07:38,553 --> 00:07:40,223
Oh. Thanks, Sam.

169
00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:42,992
Ah, but here comes Diane.

170
00:07:42,992 --> 00:07:45,596
Gang in the back room's
ready for another order, huh?

171
00:07:45,596 --> 00:07:46,497
Not yet.

172
00:07:46,497 --> 00:07:48,467
It's been an hour and a half.

173
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,303
What are they doing,
watching their ice melt?

174
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,306
Actually, Sam, things
are quite peppy back there.

175
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:53,707
There's one fellow
who, believe it or not,

176
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:56,779
can recite every area
code in the country.

177
00:07:56,779 --> 00:08:00,584
We're talking dazzling
entertainment here.

178
00:08:00,584 --> 00:08:02,587
Sam, can you spring
me for a few minutes?

179
00:08:02,587 --> 00:08:04,123
I got to see this.

180
00:08:05,591 --> 00:08:07,026
Enjoy, coach.

181
00:08:07,026 --> 00:08:10,565
Listen, if this guy knows
laramie, Wyoming, I'll croak.

182
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,737
Boy, this party stinks!

183
00:08:14,737 --> 00:08:16,072
Hey. Shh.

184
00:08:16,072 --> 00:08:18,276
Well, maybe we
should do something

185
00:08:18,276 --> 00:08:20,545
to help pick it up, huh?

186
00:08:20,545 --> 00:08:21,747
I got an idea.

187
00:08:21,747 --> 00:08:23,683
Listen, why don't you
go back to my office?

188
00:08:23,683 --> 00:08:26,821
Uh, top drawer of my desk,
you'll find 2 tassels and a g-string.

189
00:08:26,821 --> 00:08:29,158
I'll hum night train, and you...

190
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:31,126
No. Come on. That might work.

191
00:08:31,126 --> 00:08:32,362
[Humming a fanfare]

192
00:08:32,362 --> 00:08:34,899
Let the games begin!

193
00:08:36,835 --> 00:08:38,570
Holy...

194
00:08:47,082 --> 00:08:49,320
Well, you all got
the date right,

195
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,756
so I know you can read.

196
00:08:53,391 --> 00:08:55,794
You, how come
you're not in a toga?

197
00:08:55,794 --> 00:08:57,497
I was afraid everyone
else was gonna chicken out,

198
00:08:57,497 --> 00:08:58,933
and I'd be the only one,

199
00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:00,868
look like a ridiculous fool.

200
00:09:02,037 --> 00:09:03,305
Good point.

201
00:09:04,173 --> 00:09:06,477
Jensen. Nice suit.

202
00:09:08,646 --> 00:09:09,881
Hello there.

203
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,322
Why did I volunteer?

204
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:16,858
I'm a dead man.

205
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:20,062
Sammy, you got somebody

206
00:09:20,062 --> 00:09:23,233
lying in state in the back room?

207
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:27,506
Nobody's moved for
an hour and a half.

208
00:09:27,506 --> 00:09:29,376
Hey, normie, I like it.

209
00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:32,246
You look like the
pillsbury dough monster.

210
00:09:33,915 --> 00:09:35,717
How come you're late?

211
00:09:35,717 --> 00:09:36,919
I had car trouble.

212
00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:40,257
You try flagging down
help dressed like this.

213
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:46,466
Where's your wife?
Why isn't she at the party?

214
00:09:46,466 --> 00:09:48,468
She didn't hear about it.

215
00:09:51,006 --> 00:09:53,409
This is the worst party yet.

216
00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:56,880
Thanks loads for
the toga idea, Diane.

217
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,015
Well...

218
00:09:58,015 --> 00:10:01,020
Norman, all you need
is a little icebreaker.

219
00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,422
Let me help.

220
00:10:02,422 --> 00:10:04,425
Ok, everybody.

221
00:10:04,425 --> 00:10:06,260
Um... how about a round

222
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:09,097
of that always enjoyable
game charades, huh?

223
00:10:09,097 --> 00:10:10,733
I'll start off.

224
00:10:10,733 --> 00:10:12,436
Um...

225
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:14,872
Movie title.

226
00:10:16,308 --> 00:10:17,576
Four words.

227
00:10:18,845 --> 00:10:19,812
First word.

228
00:10:24,819 --> 00:10:26,956
My.

229
00:10:26,956 --> 00:10:28,157
Sounds like eye.

230
00:10:28,157 --> 00:10:30,962
I'll give you the first
one to get you going.

231
00:10:30,962 --> 00:10:32,497
Ok. Second word.

232
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:36,069
What am I doing here?

233
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,606
Eating huh? Doesn't this
look like eating and drinking?

234
00:10:38,606 --> 00:10:40,942
When do we eat and drink?

235
00:10:40,942 --> 00:10:43,144
Dinner. My dinner.

236
00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,547
Third word.

237
00:10:46,617 --> 00:10:48,653
What is this?
It's little, isn't it?

238
00:10:48,653 --> 00:10:51,357
It's a little word.

239
00:10:51,357 --> 00:10:54,060
"W." begins with a
"w." Little word, begins...

240
00:10:54,060 --> 00:10:55,630
With. My dinner with...

241
00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:58,367
My dinner with Julius la Rosa!

242
00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:02,338
That's it.

243
00:11:03,307 --> 00:11:05,443
Ok! Ogden, Utah!

244
00:11:05,443 --> 00:11:07,045
Eight-zero-one!

245
00:11:07,045 --> 00:11:08,114
[Telephone rings]

246
00:11:08,114 --> 00:11:11,318
Hold it down,
everybody! It's the phone!

247
00:11:11,318 --> 00:11:12,720
[Drummer plays]

248
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:15,591
I feel it! I feel that beat!

249
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:18,061
Get up off your seat
and on your feet.

250
00:11:18,061 --> 00:11:20,063
It's... limbo time!

251
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,599
[Limbo music plays]

252
00:11:25,337 --> 00:11:27,474
Come on, everybody!

253
00:11:28,943 --> 00:11:32,147
Hey, come on now!

254
00:11:32,147 --> 00:11:35,351
Come on. Last year, you
ate a pig with your fists!

255
00:11:35,351 --> 00:11:36,954
What's going on here?

256
00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:38,356
Come on!

257
00:11:38,356 --> 00:11:39,758
Hey!

258
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,896
Pack of nerds.

259
00:11:44,364 --> 00:11:45,767
Oh, norm, norm.

260
00:11:45,767 --> 00:11:47,635
That was a message for you.

261
00:11:47,635 --> 00:11:50,674
Somebody named ruta
can't make it tonight.

262
00:11:50,674 --> 00:11:52,108
Oh, no. Ruta's the girl

263
00:11:52,108 --> 00:11:54,579
I had coming to
entertain the big boss.

264
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,382
This can't be happening.

265
00:11:57,382 --> 00:11:59,619
First I throw the worst party

266
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,388
in the history of mankind.

267
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,257
Now I got no date
for the big boss.

268
00:12:03,257 --> 00:12:05,961
You mean, you got to set
your boss up with a woman?

269
00:12:05,961 --> 00:12:08,565
Yeah. It's one of the
party director's duties.

270
00:12:08,565 --> 00:12:11,469
Why don't you ask
one of the women here,

271
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:14,607
or does your boss
like live things?

272
00:12:17,443 --> 00:12:18,846
Carla, do you suppose...

273
00:12:18,846 --> 00:12:20,949
Oh, no, no, no, norm.
Don't look at me.

274
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,050
I got four kids,

275
00:12:22,050 --> 00:12:23,586
and I sure ain't
looking for any more.

276
00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:24,721
I didn't say to have
sex with the guy.

277
00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:26,056
It doesn't matter.

278
00:12:26,056 --> 00:12:29,060
I'm what you call
a fast breeder.

279
00:12:29,060 --> 00:12:32,197
A man winks at me,
I'm three months along.

280
00:12:34,134 --> 00:12:36,971
I need a woman!

281
00:12:36,971 --> 00:12:39,241
Does, uh... Anybody
need anything?

282
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,647
Hallelujah!

283
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:50,591
[Band playing havah nagila]

284
00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,971
All right. Let me see
if I've got this straight.

285
00:12:59,971 --> 00:13:04,577
You want me to... Entertain
a man I've never met.

286
00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:06,512
All I'm asking you to do is
just pour the guy a few drinks

287
00:13:06,512 --> 00:13:07,982
and chat with him.

288
00:13:07,982 --> 00:13:09,750
You don't have to go
home with him or anything.

289
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:12,388
Although, if you do, I'll drive.

290
00:13:12,388 --> 00:13:14,290
I'm kidding I'm joking
around, Diane. Come on.

291
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:16,193
Norman, I'm going to
walk away from here

292
00:13:16,193 --> 00:13:19,197
and pretend that you
never asked me to do this.

293
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:22,402
Hey, Diane, this could work
out for you, too, you know?

294
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,804
You might like this guy.

295
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,673
He's intelligent. He's educated.

296
00:13:25,673 --> 00:13:27,041
He went to Harvard
business school.

297
00:13:27,041 --> 00:13:28,476
Sam.

298
00:13:28,476 --> 00:13:31,047
It's true. I can't believe
that your job depends

299
00:13:31,047 --> 00:13:33,517
on you finding some
woman for this guy.

300
00:13:33,517 --> 00:13:35,020
That's right.

301
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:36,387
What you're doing is
demeaning and dehumanizing,

302
00:13:36,387 --> 00:13:38,925
not just to me but to yourself.

303
00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:41,962
I get it. You think
I'm a kissy, right?

304
00:13:41,962 --> 00:13:44,967
It's easy for you two to talk.

305
00:13:44,967 --> 00:13:47,237
Diane's attractive.
She's got brains.

306
00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:50,708
Sammy, hey... good-looking
guy, baseball star.

307
00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:52,510
I've got nothing.

308
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:55,114
My only hope in life is to find
somebody who's got something

309
00:13:55,114 --> 00:13:56,582
and try to make them like me.

310
00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:58,052
Norm.

311
00:13:58,052 --> 00:13:59,419
Yes, yes. So long as
there are boots to be licked,

312
00:13:59,419 --> 00:14:00,789
apples to be polished,

313
00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:02,659
and fannies to be
kissed, I'll be there.

314
00:14:04,795 --> 00:14:06,630
First time I ever saw a man

315
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:10,269
strut and grovel
at the same time.

316
00:14:10,269 --> 00:14:11,570
Hey, you know...

317
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:14,240
Norm is kind of in
a jam here tonight.

318
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,714
Now you want me to do this.

319
00:14:18,714 --> 00:14:20,216
It wouldn't be so bad, would it?

320
00:14:20,216 --> 00:14:21,450
You are. You're asking
me to do this, aren't you?

321
00:14:21,450 --> 00:14:22,720
What's the big deal?

322
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,523
You sit down,
probably some old guy,

323
00:14:25,523 --> 00:14:28,027
you have a couple of
drinks, he'll fall asleep.

324
00:14:28,027 --> 00:14:30,397
Hello, Mr. Sawyer, sir. Welcome.

325
00:14:35,504 --> 00:14:38,809
Well, Norman's a friend.

326
00:14:38,809 --> 00:14:43,749
I guess I could give the old
geezer a couple minutes of my time.

327
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,618
Sir, we are all terribly
honored and thrilled

328
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,221
that you could make it here.

329
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,622
I like your sheet.

330
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:51,159
This old thing?

331
00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:53,696
Come on, sir. Why don't
you just come on down here,

332
00:14:53,696 --> 00:14:55,132
and I'll show you a seat.

333
00:14:55,132 --> 00:14:56,499
Why don't you let
me do that, Norman?

334
00:14:56,499 --> 00:14:57,902
I know the place.

335
00:14:57,902 --> 00:14:59,805
I'll never forget this, Diane.

336
00:14:59,805 --> 00:15:03,076
Mr. Sawyer, Diane
chambers, friend of mine.

337
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:04,678
Nice to meet you, Diane.

338
00:15:04,678 --> 00:15:06,782
Nice to meet you.

339
00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,250
Why don't you
two sit right here?

340
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,318
You...

341
00:15:15,293 --> 00:15:18,497
Well, what would
you like to drink?

342
00:15:18,497 --> 00:15:21,234
Uh... scotch rocks.

343
00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:22,436
Um...

344
00:15:22,436 --> 00:15:23,537
Barkeep.

345
00:15:23,537 --> 00:15:25,207
A little service, please.

346
00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,915
Mr. Sawyer will
have scotch rocks.

347
00:15:30,915 --> 00:15:33,919
And, um... hmm. Let's see.
What am I in the mood for?

348
00:15:33,919 --> 00:15:35,989
How about a good beating?

349
00:15:38,192 --> 00:15:40,061
Perhaps a vermouth cassis.

350
00:15:40,061 --> 00:15:41,697
Fine. If you need
anything else tonight,

351
00:15:41,697 --> 00:15:43,265
please just snap your fingers...

352
00:15:43,265 --> 00:15:44,802
In several places.

353
00:15:45,936 --> 00:15:49,141
I guess working in a
bar makes you grumpy.

354
00:15:49,141 --> 00:15:50,342
[Drum roll]

355
00:15:50,342 --> 00:15:52,345
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

356
00:15:52,345 --> 00:15:55,349
We're Eddie barnett
and the Eddie barnetters.

357
00:15:55,349 --> 00:15:58,486
Ok, it's request
time. Shout them out.

358
00:16:05,864 --> 00:16:06,999
Chicago?

359
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,868
One of Eddie's favorites.

360
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,137
Chicago.

361
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,423
Norm, this band is the worst.

362
00:16:24,423 --> 00:16:27,561
I don't understand it. They
sounded so good over the phone.

363
00:16:28,997 --> 00:16:30,398
So you're an art student?

364
00:16:30,398 --> 00:16:33,369
I really always
wanted to be a painter.

365
00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,571
I must tell you,

366
00:16:34,571 --> 00:16:38,376
it is so refreshing to
meet someone like you.

367
00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:39,778
Yeah?

368
00:16:39,778 --> 00:16:40,946
Yes. Someone in
business who enjoys

369
00:16:40,946 --> 00:16:42,115
the finer things.

370
00:16:42,115 --> 00:16:44,051
Here you go. One for you.

371
00:16:44,051 --> 00:16:47,189
One for your lady
of the evening.

372
00:16:53,197 --> 00:16:55,766
Here's to a sparkling
conversationalist.

373
00:16:55,766 --> 00:16:57,269
Oh, thank you.

374
00:16:59,072 --> 00:17:01,542
I'd normally ask you to go out

375
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,845
and find some place
to talk through the night,

376
00:17:03,845 --> 00:17:08,184
but I don't think we'd find
any place as quiet as this.

377
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,457
Something wrong with your drink?

378
00:17:12,457 --> 00:17:14,060
Yes, it's a little watered down.

379
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,794
Here. Let me take it back.

380
00:17:15,794 --> 00:17:17,464
No, no, no, no. That's all
right. I know the bartender.

381
00:17:17,464 --> 00:17:19,968
I'll take care of it.
Yes. I'll be right back.

382
00:17:24,074 --> 00:17:26,044
Do you have a
problem, Mr. Malone?

383
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:27,478
Listen. I know
you're a light drinker,

384
00:17:27,478 --> 00:17:30,215
and I didn't want you to
get carried away tonight

385
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,285
and do something
you might regret.

386
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:37,625
You're not at all bothered that
I'm spending time with herb?

387
00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:38,894
Herb?

388
00:17:40,129 --> 00:17:43,100
No, no. None of
my business, really.

389
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,502
Looks a little seamy,

390
00:17:44,502 --> 00:17:46,405
but seaminess has it's place.

391
00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:50,443
Well, a moment ago
you were encouraging it.

392
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:54,316
A moment ago, the
guy was 85 years old.

393
00:17:54,316 --> 00:17:55,717
Oh, I see.

394
00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:57,520
An old man is fine,

395
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,026
but one whose kidneys
are still functioning is taboo.

396
00:18:01,026 --> 00:18:02,427
Look. Look, look.

397
00:18:02,427 --> 00:18:03,529
Like I said, it's
none of my business,

398
00:18:03,529 --> 00:18:05,799
but this guy
expects you to be his

399
00:18:05,799 --> 00:18:08,135
for the evening,
the whole evening.

400
00:18:08,135 --> 00:18:09,937
You know what I mean?

401
00:18:09,937 --> 00:18:13,510
Sam, we are having a
harmless conversation about art.

402
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,545
Do you know what I think? What?

403
00:18:15,545 --> 00:18:17,281
I think you're a little
bothered by the fact

404
00:18:17,281 --> 00:18:18,550
that he's so good-looking.

405
00:18:18,550 --> 00:18:21,287
That's what you
consider good-looking?

406
00:18:21,287 --> 00:18:23,324
The guy's got padded shoulders,

407
00:18:23,324 --> 00:18:26,561
and I bet that's not
even his real lips.

408
00:18:26,561 --> 00:18:29,765
He's gorgeous, and
it's driving you crazy.

409
00:18:29,765 --> 00:18:31,168
No, it's not.

410
00:18:31,168 --> 00:18:32,436
Yeah. It's killing
you there's another

411
00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:34,372
attractive man in your bar,

412
00:18:34,372 --> 00:18:38,311
another rooster
in your hen house.

413
00:18:38,311 --> 00:18:40,247
The day goes so
much easier for me

414
00:18:40,247 --> 00:18:43,185
now that we've got those little
cup 'o soups in the office, sir.

415
00:18:43,185 --> 00:18:46,189
If that was your idea,
Mr. Sawyer, you are a genius.

416
00:18:46,189 --> 00:18:47,623
Norm, how about
I buy you a drink?

417
00:18:47,623 --> 00:18:48,925
Well, thank you.

418
00:18:48,925 --> 00:18:50,461
Why don't you just set
sail for the bar over there

419
00:18:50,461 --> 00:18:53,199
and have yourself a good time?

420
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:54,600
That's wonderful, sir.

421
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,204
Diane, there's a pool
table in the back room.

422
00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:58,806
How about a game?

423
00:18:58,806 --> 00:19:00,609
Ok. I've never played before,

424
00:19:00,609 --> 00:19:02,878
but why should
that stop us, huh?

425
00:19:02,878 --> 00:19:04,147
Right.

426
00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:05,549
Thank you for that
conversation, sir.

427
00:19:05,549 --> 00:19:08,753
I know I'm the better for it.

428
00:19:08,753 --> 00:19:09,754
Hi, there.

429
00:19:09,754 --> 00:19:11,291
Hello.

430
00:19:12,158 --> 00:19:15,162
That is a good-looking guy.

431
00:19:15,162 --> 00:19:18,134
Uh-oh. I felt something kick.

432
00:19:28,415 --> 00:19:31,685
Well, now you know why
I never go to these things.

433
00:19:31,685 --> 00:19:35,458
Must be kind of strange getting
that reaction from people, huh?

434
00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:38,295
I like to think it's the money
and position and not me.

435
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:40,665
Oh, I can assure
you, it's not you.

436
00:19:41,899 --> 00:19:44,437
I think Sawyer likes Diane.

437
00:19:44,437 --> 00:19:46,473
I'm on my way, big guy.

438
00:19:46,473 --> 00:19:48,909
Norm, you know, you're
really sickening tonight?

439
00:19:48,909 --> 00:19:50,279
Yeah, I know, Sam.

440
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:53,850
I'm not proud of myself,
but then I never am.

441
00:19:56,954 --> 00:19:58,190
Ahem!

442
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,561
Yeah.

443
00:20:01,561 --> 00:20:05,333
Well, Simon says is my game.

444
00:20:05,333 --> 00:20:06,734
I'm great at that.

445
00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:08,971
Well, maybe I can
help you out here.

446
00:20:08,971 --> 00:20:11,107
I think I can teach you to
play in a couple of minutes.

447
00:20:11,107 --> 00:20:12,710
Oh, all right.

448
00:20:12,710 --> 00:20:15,414
Why don't you just put
your left hand down like that.

449
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:16,415
Yeah.

450
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,951
Grab the end with
the other hand.

451
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,754
I'm not in the way here, am I?

452
00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:22,456
Diane, you smell
wonderful. What is it?

453
00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:24,193
Thank you. Dandruff shampoo.

454
00:20:26,829 --> 00:20:28,465
I like it.

455
00:20:28,465 --> 00:20:30,835
I don't flake for hours.

456
00:20:30,835 --> 00:20:32,838
Oh, herb, wait a minute.

457
00:20:32,838 --> 00:20:34,240
Diane, you're beautiful.

458
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:38,446
Well, I don't really believe
in mauling on the first date.

459
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,649
I didn't come down here
for the band, you know?

460
00:20:40,649 --> 00:20:42,552
Look. I thought we were
having a nice conversation.

461
00:20:42,552 --> 00:20:44,254
We were. That part's over.

462
00:20:44,254 --> 00:20:46,724
How is everything
back here? Whoops!

463
00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:47,759
Uh, Norman!

464
00:20:47,759 --> 00:20:49,528
He'll stop in a minute, Diane.

465
00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:51,030
No. Really, Norman. It's...

466
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:52,031
Mr. Sawyer...

467
00:20:52,031 --> 00:20:53,567
Get lost, norm.

468
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:54,635
Fine, sir.

469
00:20:54,635 --> 00:20:56,971
Look, look. This is not
my idea of romance.

470
00:20:56,971 --> 00:20:58,374
Come on, Diane.

471
00:20:58,374 --> 00:20:59,976
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

472
00:20:59,976 --> 00:21:01,411
Mr. Sawyer, come on!

473
00:21:01,411 --> 00:21:03,314
Norm, this is a big mistake!

474
00:21:03,314 --> 00:21:04,715
I'm sorry, sir. I
know, sir. I'm sorry.

475
00:21:04,715 --> 00:21:06,352
Nice Cologne, sir.
Excellent Cologne.

476
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:07,787
You're crazy!

477
00:21:07,787 --> 00:21:10,658
You set me up with this
girl, and then you do this?

478
00:21:10,658 --> 00:21:13,995
There's no room in my
company for unstable people!

479
00:21:13,995 --> 00:21:16,832
You clean out your
desk tonight! You're fired!

480
00:21:16,832 --> 00:21:19,403
Yeah, I figured.

481
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:22,541
Norman, I'm real
sorry you lost your job.

482
00:21:22,541 --> 00:21:24,844
That's exactly what
I was trying to avoid.

483
00:21:24,844 --> 00:21:26,246
No. That's all right.

484
00:21:26,246 --> 00:21:27,648
What was that all about?

485
00:21:27,648 --> 00:21:29,517
Your boss stormed out of here.

486
00:21:29,517 --> 00:21:30,852
He's not my boss anymore.

487
00:21:30,852 --> 00:21:31,887
What?

488
00:21:31,887 --> 00:21:33,256
He was all over Diane.

489
00:21:33,256 --> 00:21:36,260
I had to get rough with him.

490
00:21:36,260 --> 00:21:37,796
I want a beer.

491
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:41,867
You ok?

492
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:42,803
Yes.

493
00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:46,140
Well, go ahead. Gloat.

494
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:48,076
Listen, believe it or not,

495
00:21:48,076 --> 00:21:50,914
I'm, uh... I'm really
sorry this happened.

496
00:21:50,914 --> 00:21:54,686
I know you must be feeling
hurt and angry right now.

497
00:21:54,686 --> 00:21:58,291
No. No, I'm not
feeling hurt and angry.

498
00:21:58,291 --> 00:22:00,294
I brought this on myself.

499
00:22:00,294 --> 00:22:03,197
Actually, I'm feeling kind of...

500
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,767
Cheap?

501
00:22:07,304 --> 00:22:08,839
All right, yes.

502
00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:10,041
I feel cheap.

503
00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:13,646
I saw an attractive
person with a little glamour,

504
00:22:13,646 --> 00:22:16,650
and I wanted to
meet him so badly

505
00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:20,656
that I pushed everything
aside and threw myself at him,

506
00:22:20,656 --> 00:22:24,160
totally sacrificing my
dignity and my pride.

507
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,663
What's wrong with that?

508
00:22:25,663 --> 00:22:28,266
I do that all the time.

509
00:22:28,266 --> 00:22:29,669
Ugh!

510
00:22:29,669 --> 00:22:31,270
For one terrible moment,

511
00:22:31,270 --> 00:22:34,676
I actually saw myself
through his eyes.

512
00:22:34,676 --> 00:22:39,281
I saw nothing but
a cheap harlot.

513
00:22:39,281 --> 00:22:40,684
Aw, come on.

514
00:22:40,684 --> 00:22:43,688
We all know that
you'd starve to death

515
00:22:43,688 --> 00:22:46,826
before you made a
living with your body.

516
00:22:49,296 --> 00:22:50,297
Thanks, Sam.

517
00:22:50,297 --> 00:22:51,833
You're welcome, Diane.

518
00:22:56,138 --> 00:22:59,042
So he fired you, huh, norm?

519
00:22:59,042 --> 00:23:00,945
He fired me, coach.

520
00:23:02,147 --> 00:23:03,382
You know something?

521
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,585
I may not have a job,

522
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:08,255
I may not have a future,

523
00:23:08,255 --> 00:23:12,495
I may not have anything
except this sheet on my back...

524
00:23:14,465 --> 00:23:16,166
But you know something?

525
00:23:16,166 --> 00:23:17,836
I feel terrible.

526
00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:21,340
Gee, I'm sorry, norm.

527
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:22,743
I got it.

528
00:23:22,743 --> 00:23:25,747
Hey, did you
really hit the boss?

529
00:23:25,747 --> 00:23:29,218
No. Just shoved
him around a little bit.

530
00:23:29,218 --> 00:23:30,787
Hey, everybody! It's true!

531
00:23:30,787 --> 00:23:33,357
Norman just
punched out the boss!

532
00:23:33,357 --> 00:23:35,360
I just pushed him around.

533
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,497
Way to go, Peterson!

534
00:23:37,497 --> 00:23:39,500
All right, Norman!

535
00:23:40,367 --> 00:23:42,904
Yay, Norman, our hero!

536
00:23:45,174 --> 00:23:49,614
[Band playing for
he's a jolly good fellow]