1
00:00:01,421 --> 00:00:04,757
AND COACHIE MAKES THREE

2
00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:19,523
Cliffie, don't look now, but there are two
chicks at the end of the bar staring at us.

3
00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:21,525
You're crazy.

4
00:00:21,692 --> 00:00:25,113
They been staring for 20 minutes.
Do we look weird?

5
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,323
- You do.
- Why?

6
00:00:27,490 --> 00:00:31,411
Cos you're talking
out of the side of your mouth.

7
00:00:34,205 --> 00:00:37,417
They can't take their eyes off us.

8
00:00:40,588 --> 00:00:45,134
There's only one way to be sure.
Toodle down the end of the bar

9
00:00:45,301 --> 00:00:47,845
and see if their eyes follow us.

10
00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:53,434
So are they looking?

11
00:00:57,104 --> 00:01:01,735
I'd say those supple young petunias
definitely want us.

12
00:01:03,153 --> 00:01:08,366
- So what do we do now?
- Just take a walk over there.

13
00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:10,577
I will if you will.

14
00:01:14,247 --> 00:01:18,211
On second thoughts,
why don't we play it cooI?

15
00:01:18,377 --> 00:01:23,758
- We let them come to us.
- Those babes are really hot for us.

16
00:01:23,925 --> 00:01:29,555
- That's it, folks. Closing time.
- Here they come, moving in for the kill.

17
00:01:34,019 --> 00:01:36,063
Excuse me.

18
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:41,360
My friend and I were wondering
if you knew a late-night spot to go to.

19
00:01:41,526 --> 00:01:43,987
Some place a little fun.

20
00:02:00,797 --> 00:02:02,840
What was that?

21
00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:10,891
These guys are Martians.

22
00:02:11,058 --> 00:02:14,353
- Come on. They're nerds.
- Their loss.

23
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:42,779
Well, they've gone now.
You can turn off the charm.

24
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:47,117
You were a reaI smoothy yourself.

25
00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:50,997
Listen to Cary Grant.
That was humiliating.

26
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:54,167
What difference does it make?

27
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,795
They weren't that good-looking anyway.

28
00:03:57,962 --> 00:04:03,051
Absolutely. We almost took the
midnight train to Bow-Wow City.

29
00:04:03,218 --> 00:04:07,223
You're right.
I've seen better legs on a pooI table.

30
00:04:07,389 --> 00:04:10,643
You could use that chest
for a straightedge.

31
00:04:10,809 --> 00:04:15,898
- Put a bag over your head.
- Or a gunny sack. It'll cover more.

32
00:04:35,377 --> 00:04:38,213
Great eats, Diane. Thanks.

33
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:41,634
<i>Did you enjoy your rognons
de veau aux chanterelles?</i>

34
00:04:45,346 --> 00:04:47,682
Was that the green stuff?

35
00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:52,311
No. That was the brown stuff.

36
00:04:52,478 --> 00:04:56,274
Good. That green stuff
kind of repeats on you.

37
00:04:58,151 --> 00:05:01,571
- I'm dreadfully sorry.
- Quite all right.

38
00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:09,788
Well, I am gonna check some scores out
on the tube here, I think.

39
00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:16,087
You know, I went to a lot of trouble
with this meaI.

40
00:05:16,254 --> 00:05:18,047
So did I.

41
00:05:19,590 --> 00:05:23,511
I'm joking. It was wonderfuI.
Thank you very much.

42
00:05:23,678 --> 00:05:26,806
It's a pleasure to cook for a gourmand.

43
00:05:31,729 --> 00:05:35,899
- Sam, what's happening to us?
- Are you repeating too?

44
00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:44,074
A little,
but that's not what I'm talking about.

45
00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:46,952
We're becoming humdrum. Routine.

46
00:05:47,119 --> 00:05:52,000
I tell you what. After my meaI
settles here, I'll attack you.

47
00:05:53,543 --> 00:05:57,464
Well, you may be in the mood
earlier than you think.

48
00:05:57,630 --> 00:06:03,386
Make yourself comfortable. I'll take care
of something in the other room.

49
00:06:06,724 --> 00:06:09,685
- Who's there?
- Me. Who's there?

50
00:06:12,521 --> 00:06:15,357
- Coach?
- No, I'm Coach.

51
00:06:19,987 --> 00:06:24,242
- What are you doing here, Coach?
- At least we got that straight.

52
00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:29,164
We almost had the most incredible
disaster. Look at this TV guide.

53
00:06:31,041 --> 00:06:33,084
"Thunder Road".

54
00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:39,258
Mitchum. We haven't missed a Mitchum
movie together in over 12 years.

55
00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:44,514
- We don't wanna miss the beginning.
- Mitchum won't start without us.

56
00:06:45,598 --> 00:06:49,352
- We're gonna need munchies.
- Diane's got some.

57
00:06:49,519 --> 00:06:55,900
While you're up, turn down the lights.
There's a terrible glare on the screen.

58
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,004
Take me, you barbarian.

59
00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:21,719
You're gonna miss "Thunder Road".

60
00:07:24,764 --> 00:07:29,727
- What happened?
- Nothing yet. They're going up the road.

61
00:07:29,894 --> 00:07:33,440
No, with Diane.
Hey, Diane, you all right?

62
00:07:37,319 --> 00:07:39,613
What is Coach doing here?

63
00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:45,536
He's watching "Thunder Road". We
always watch Mitchum movies together.

64
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:49,291
It's a bad time right now.

65
00:07:49,457 --> 00:07:54,004
I know, but it's a tradition
that goes back with us for years.

66
00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:58,216
He's our favourite actor.
Never do we miss his movies.

67
00:07:58,383 --> 00:08:03,638
I came out of the bedroom and I was so
embarrassed with how I was dressed.

68
00:08:03,805 --> 00:08:07,393
Come in here. I'll show you what I mean.
Come on.

69
00:08:08,519 --> 00:08:10,563
Coach, scram. Out.

70
00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,773
What?

71
00:08:15,526 --> 00:08:17,987
- What's wrong?
- Sam.

72
00:08:19,196 --> 00:08:22,826
- A little tact.
- I'm sorry. Coach, listen.

73
00:08:22,993 --> 00:08:25,037
What?

74
00:08:25,203 --> 00:08:29,082
Diane and I had this speciaI evening
going here.

75
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:34,379
She just fixed me a meaI
with all my favourite colours.

76
00:08:34,546 --> 00:08:37,132
Changed into something frilly.

77
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:41,012
And I come barging in.
I wasn't even thinking.

78
00:08:41,179 --> 00:08:45,141
Diane, forgive me. I never
wanted to get in your way.

79
00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:47,435
Thank you for understanding.

80
00:08:47,602 --> 00:08:52,315
When you live alone,
you forget other people have lives.

81
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:04,369
- Are you feeling what I'm feeling?
- Yeah. Poor Coach.

82
00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:08,749
We have so many hours together,

83
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:13,546
I guess it's kind of selfish
not to spend a little time with him.

84
00:09:13,713 --> 00:09:18,718
- You're right. I'll get him.
- Bet you can catch him on the steps.

85
00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:25,391
- Why are you standing there?
- My coat got caught in the door.

86
00:09:26,476 --> 00:09:31,023
I didn't have the heart
to bother you again. Good night.

87
00:09:32,858 --> 00:09:35,319
No, Coach, come here. Listen.

88
00:09:35,486 --> 00:09:39,198
You are gonna watch "Thunder Road"
with us. Sit down.

89
00:09:39,365 --> 00:09:42,409
- You mean it?
- You bet. Come on over.

90
00:09:42,576 --> 00:09:45,663
I've never seen it.
Tell me what's happened.

91
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:50,794
I know every line in this picture.
Here's my favourite part.

92
00:09:57,884 --> 00:10:02,097
When I'm in charge of the bar,
I know what God feels like.

93
00:10:02,264 --> 00:10:06,686
- How's that?
- I'm in controI of people's destinies.

94
00:10:06,852 --> 00:10:10,856
I can make their drinks too strong
so they get sick.

95
00:10:11,023 --> 00:10:15,861
Or I can water them down
so they pay for nothing.

96
00:10:16,028 --> 00:10:19,490
Or if I don't like their attitudes,
I can spit in it.

97
00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:31,962
You're not still upset about that argument
we had the other day?

98
00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:34,172
You tell me.

99
00:10:46,894 --> 00:10:52,150
I'm sorry about this morning
when I called you a sawed-off witch.

100
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:10,711
I'm Sam Malone. Maybe you remember
me before we became a threesome.

101
00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,922
Yes, I recognise you now.

102
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,593
- You shaved off your Pantusso.
- That's it.

103
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,891
- I know.
- I can't take it any more.

104
00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:28,855
- We never go anyplace without Coach.
- I don't invite him. He just shows up.

105
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:33,736
- What are we gonna do?
- Right now, we're gonna sit in my office.

106
00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:38,532
We're gonna look into
each other's eyes, all alone.

107
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,743
That sounds so wonderfuI.

108
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:43,162
Where have you been?

109
00:11:43,329 --> 00:11:48,794
Coach, I'm sorry. I overslept.
We were up late last night watching...

110
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:54,341
- "Mothra Versus Godzilla".
- Was I disappointed in that.

111
00:11:55,967 --> 00:12:02,974
We've got to draw the line. No way
can we spend the evening with Coach.

112
00:12:03,141 --> 00:12:05,770
You're absolutely right.

113
00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:09,232
Are we gonna get together tonight?

114
00:12:09,398 --> 00:12:13,277
- You bet.
- Great.

115
00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:19,784
All right. There's only one solution
to this problem.

116
00:12:19,951 --> 00:12:24,581
We have to tell the Coach
to stop hanging around with us.

117
00:12:24,748 --> 00:12:31,547
Diane's right. Tell Coach you don't want
him around. That's the honest approach.

118
00:12:31,713 --> 00:12:36,885
Or to make it easier on Coach, rip out
his heart and do a tap-dance on it.

119
00:12:38,763 --> 00:12:40,974
- I got it here.
- What?

120
00:12:41,140 --> 00:12:44,143
Make him think you got a bad disease.

121
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:49,315
Get reaI skinny, and you paint
your faces white and pasty.

122
00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:52,902
Walk around looking like
you're gonna throw up.

123
00:12:53,069 --> 00:12:57,157
You'd better hurry up.
Diane's got a head start.

124
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:10,629
Coach likes you guys. Take him
off our hands for tonight, please.

125
00:13:10,796 --> 00:13:15,594
We don't want Coach getting in
the way when we're hustling chicks.

126
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,846
Sorry I asked.

127
00:13:18,013 --> 00:13:25,186
It's against my beliefs to help things go
smoothly with the squawk box there,

128
00:13:25,353 --> 00:13:29,108
but since Coach is involved,
I'm gonna bend the rules.

129
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,820
I know he has a crush
on a teller at his bank.

130
00:13:33,904 --> 00:13:37,408
- Are you sure?
- He talks about her a lot.

131
00:13:37,575 --> 00:13:41,746
I don't know her name,
but she could take him off your hands.

132
00:13:41,912 --> 00:13:45,625
That's good. What do you say?
It's worth a try.

133
00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:49,588
I think Coach would be
embarrassed by a blind date.

134
00:13:49,755 --> 00:13:55,010
We'll pretend she's my friend
and it'II look like a chance meeting.

135
00:13:55,177 --> 00:13:58,889
Coach,
maybe you can help me out here.

136
00:13:59,056 --> 00:14:05,313
- I want a new bank. You like yours?
- I love it. Bay Harbor Savings and Loan.

137
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,858
- Do you like the tellers?
- They're terrific.

138
00:14:09,025 --> 00:14:13,655
Is there one I should talk to?
Friendly, nice, cute?

139
00:14:13,821 --> 00:14:15,865
Frank.

140
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:19,035
Who's the one you always talk to?

141
00:14:19,202 --> 00:14:22,289
Redhead with a nice smile
who always winks?

142
00:14:22,456 --> 00:14:24,500
- Yeah.
- That's Frank.

143
00:14:26,001 --> 00:14:30,589
Isn't there a woman
that you like at the bank there?

144
00:14:33,008 --> 00:14:34,426
Edwina.

145
00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:37,680
Edwina at Bay Harbor
Savings and Loan?

146
00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:41,935
- She's a friend of mine.
- Then you should know Frank.

147
00:14:42,102 --> 00:14:44,020
They're married.

148
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:50,193
No. Who's the one you said
was a nice lady last Thursday?

149
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:54,197
- Thursday. Stella.
- Stella. That's my friend.

150
00:14:54,364 --> 00:14:58,077
No, not Stella.
I'm not too crazy about Stella.

151
00:14:58,244 --> 00:15:01,580
- I meant Dorothy.
- Yes, so did I.

152
00:15:02,665 --> 00:15:06,794
- Dorothy is the one you like, right?
- She's very nice.

153
00:15:06,961 --> 00:15:08,379
Excuse me.

154
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,094
But not as nice as Julia.

155
00:15:16,304 --> 00:15:21,518
That's the grocery store.
At the bank, nobody beats Sandra.

156
00:15:21,685 --> 00:15:23,728
Sandra. That's my friend.

157
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,362
- What is it?
- Not Sandra, it's Anita.

158
00:15:31,529 --> 00:15:33,573
I'll take this.

159
00:15:39,328 --> 00:15:43,082
- Wrong girI, Coach?
- No. Wrong bank.

160
00:16:02,776 --> 00:16:06,196
Well, Katherine,
didn't you love that meaI?

161
00:16:06,363 --> 00:16:08,699
It was very nice.

162
00:16:08,866 --> 00:16:11,285
I'm glad we had Coach along.

163
00:16:11,452 --> 00:16:15,706
An Italian knows what to order
in an Italian restaurant.

164
00:16:15,873 --> 00:16:18,918
It was wonderfuI.
What was that dish called?

165
00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:24,549
Spaghetti for four. They've got a better
one, though, spaghetti for six,

166
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:26,760
but you need more people.

167
00:16:28,595 --> 00:16:32,057
I'll make coffee.
Make yourselves at home.

168
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:34,267
There you go.

169
00:16:41,651 --> 00:16:46,739
You know something? I can't get over
the fact Diane knew Katherine,

170
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:50,159
my favourite teller at First Fidelity.

171
00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:53,746
Well, it's a small world, I guess, Coach.

172
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:58,377
And she seems to know everybody
in every bank I've dealt with.

173
00:16:58,544 --> 00:17:00,754
You know how friendly she is.

174
00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:05,300
How did you and Katherine
come to meet?

175
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,636
- The loan desk.
- The drop...

176
00:17:07,803 --> 00:17:13,934
That's all right, honey. Sometimes
I forget things too. Or do I?

177
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:17,814
Coach, you tickle me.
Are you always this funny?

178
00:17:17,981 --> 00:17:20,024
I doubt it.

179
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:31,327
So, Katherine, what's new and exciting
in the world of high finance?

180
00:17:31,494 --> 00:17:35,124
Nothing that I know of.
My most exciting moment

181
00:17:35,291 --> 00:17:39,753
is catching someone playing
with their lips on closed circuit TV.

182
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,131
I knew you looked familiar.

183
00:17:45,259 --> 00:17:47,094
Hang on a moment.

184
00:17:48,512 --> 00:17:52,350
Well, I think banking is fascinating.

185
00:17:52,517 --> 00:17:57,230
There are so many facets.
So many things I've wondered about.

186
00:17:57,397 --> 00:18:00,025
- Me too, you know?
- Like what?

187
00:18:00,191 --> 00:18:04,988
Tellers never tell you anything.
They always ask questions.

188
00:18:05,155 --> 00:18:09,744
There's nothing interesting
about interest. It's boring.

189
00:18:09,911 --> 00:18:15,249
The trust department have pens chained
to tables. What kind of trust is that?

190
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:21,297
- There he goes again. You're too much.
- A little giddy, but nice.

191
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:27,346
Look at the time. I've got to get up
at the crack of dawn.

192
00:18:27,512 --> 00:18:31,892
What a wonderfuI evening.
I'll take a rain check on coffee.

193
00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:36,271
It is getting kinda late.
Can I see you get home OK?

194
00:18:36,438 --> 00:18:40,902
Thanks. I'd like that.
Good night, Diane. Thank you.

195
00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:44,030
- Good night, Sam.
- Good night.

196
00:18:44,197 --> 00:18:47,909
- Good night. We'll do it again.
- Absolutely.

197
00:18:51,454 --> 00:18:57,085
This shows that sticky situations are
best handled with lies and trickery.

198
00:18:58,253 --> 00:19:01,632
And now for a little romance.

199
00:19:05,302 --> 00:19:07,346
A little hug.

200
00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:11,225
A little kiss.

201
00:19:12,476 --> 00:19:15,355
- A little Coach.
- Excuse me.

202
00:19:16,439 --> 00:19:19,651
I thought you were
gonna show Katherine home.

203
00:19:19,818 --> 00:19:22,612
I showed her where the bus stop is.

204
00:19:24,447 --> 00:19:28,451
You probably didn't notice,
but she had the hots for me.

205
00:19:28,618 --> 00:19:30,537
What's wrong with that?

206
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:37,002
She's nice, but she doesn't fit in with us.
Like a fourth wheeI. I need cookies.

207
00:19:43,592 --> 00:19:47,304
- What do we do now?
- It's time to tell the truth.

208
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:50,559
- Good.
- I'll handle this.

209
00:19:50,725 --> 00:19:54,438
- Coach, get out here.
- Want one?

210
00:19:54,604 --> 00:19:57,065
No. Listen.

211
00:19:59,234 --> 00:20:04,739
I'm gonna tell you something, and
I don't care if it hurts your feelings.

212
00:20:04,906 --> 00:20:07,076
What is it?

213
00:20:07,243 --> 00:20:11,247
Diane doesn't want you
hanging around us any more.

214
00:20:11,414 --> 00:20:18,171
What? That's not true. Sam doesn't want
you around. I love having you around.

215
00:20:18,337 --> 00:20:23,343
I love having him around more than you.
I'd rather have him around than you.

216
00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:27,097
- Well, fine.
- Don't sneak around me like this.

217
00:20:27,264 --> 00:20:31,852
All right. Please stop.
Kids, hold on, please.

218
00:20:32,019 --> 00:20:34,980
I'm beginning to see the light here.

219
00:20:35,147 --> 00:20:39,401
- You don't have the guts to tell me.
- I do, Diane doesn't.

220
00:20:39,568 --> 00:20:41,613
What is it? Say it.

221
00:20:42,822 --> 00:20:44,866
Come on. Say it.

222
00:20:46,826 --> 00:20:51,456
When you were a drunk and nobody
told you, I told you, didn't I?

223
00:20:51,623 --> 00:20:55,043
- Over and over again.
- You really were a drunk.

224
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:57,254
I know.

225
00:20:57,421 --> 00:21:01,300
- I mean, you were really a drunk.
- Don't start again.

226
00:21:01,508 --> 00:21:07,431
Is our friendship so weak that we can't
come out tell each other the truth?

227
00:21:10,517 --> 00:21:13,062
You're right.

228
00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:17,150
We just don't want you
hanging around us so much.

229
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:25,951
If you don't want me, it's fine.
I'm not mad.

230
00:21:26,117 --> 00:21:30,914
It's fine. I'll see you.

231
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,753
But you really were a drunk.

232
00:21:51,937 --> 00:21:55,190
- Morning, Norm.
- Where the heck have you been?

233
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:59,903
- Is my watch fast?
- Sorry. We had a difficult evening.

234
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:04,449
We had to tell Coach
we didn't want to see him any more.

235
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:07,495
It was terrible. Worse than we feared.

236
00:22:07,662 --> 00:22:11,374
We spent half the night arguing
about who was to blame.

237
00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:24,054
- Morning, everybody.
- How are you today, Norman?

238
00:22:24,221 --> 00:22:26,265
As if you cared.

239
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:30,185
Coach didn't take well
to getting the old heave-ho.

240
00:22:30,352 --> 00:22:33,021
He was destroyed. He tried to cover,

241
00:22:33,188 --> 00:22:37,985
but there was no masking the pain
Sam inflicted on his deepest being.

242
00:22:38,152 --> 00:22:41,531
Don't start again.
You did most of the talking.

243
00:22:43,783 --> 00:22:50,165
What difference does it make who did it?
The point is Coach has been crushed.

244
00:22:50,331 --> 00:22:52,375
We have to live with that.

245
00:22:53,293 --> 00:22:55,336
Especially you.

246
00:22:55,503 --> 00:22:59,758
- It was your idea. You insisted.
- That's the most...

247
00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:03,679
Listen. I wanna know
which one of you two kids

248
00:23:03,846 --> 00:23:07,099
got the idea to throw me out last night.

249
00:23:07,266 --> 00:23:10,478
Come on. I wanna know right now.

250
00:23:10,644 --> 00:23:15,400
Come on. What difference does it make
whose fault it was?

251
00:23:15,567 --> 00:23:18,695
It's done.
We both have to share the blame.

252
00:23:20,572 --> 00:23:26,411
Yes, the important thing is
that we showed you our feelings.

253
00:23:26,578 --> 00:23:33,127
- Honesty was our only recourse.
- Absolutely. It was a mutuaI decision.

254
00:23:35,963 --> 00:23:40,384
Whoever it was, I wanna thank
them from the bottom of my heart.

255
00:23:40,551 --> 00:23:44,305
Because I caught up with Katherine
at the bus stop

256
00:23:44,472 --> 00:23:50,145
and I took her home, got to know her
and she's the most wonderfuI woman.

257
00:23:50,312 --> 00:23:53,065
I haven't been this happy in years.

258
00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:57,069
That's wonderfuI.
You don't know how happy we are.

259
00:23:57,236 --> 00:24:03,033
And the fact that we had anything to do
with it makes this feeI even better.

260
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:09,082
Absolutely. Just think of it as the two of
us being able to do something for you.

261
00:24:12,502 --> 00:24:16,047
Say, Normie,
aren't they a wonderfuI couple?

262
00:24:53,675 --> 00:24:54,676
English