1
00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:05,363
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

2
00:00:05,364 --> 00:00:07,031
Hey, Sam!

3
00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:08,399
Hey, Woody. Is it all right

4
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,368
if I hang some Christmas
decorations in here?

5
00:00:10,369 --> 00:00:13,371
Sure. Boy, is it that time again?

6
00:00:13,372 --> 00:00:16,374
Wow, Christmas comes earlier
every year, doesn't it?

7
00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:18,877
I think if you check, Sam,

8
00:00:19,378 --> 00:00:22,880
it always comes on the 25th of December.

9
00:00:22,881 --> 00:00:24,382
Of course, of course, of course.

10
00:00:24,383 --> 00:00:27,335
Thank you, Woody, thank you.

11
00:00:27,336 --> 00:00:29,837
Oh, look at that, will ya?

12
00:00:29,838 --> 00:00:30,721
Nice Rudolph.

13
00:00:30,722 --> 00:00:32,173
I made him myself.

14
00:00:32,174 --> 00:00:33,174
No kidding?

15
00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,176
You know, uh, Rudolph is my favorite guy

16
00:00:35,177 --> 00:00:36,677
in the Christmas songs.

17
00:00:36,678 --> 00:00:38,062
Yeah.

18
00:00:38,063 --> 00:00:39,814
You know, apparently
then, Woody, you're unaware

19
00:00:39,815 --> 00:00:42,316
that the story of Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer

20
00:00:42,317 --> 00:00:43,557
is one of the most unrealistic,

21
00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:44,819
and therefore potentially damaging

22
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,320
in all of children's music.

23
00:00:46,321 --> 00:00:48,322
It gives them a horribly
distorted view of reality.

24
00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,825
Yeah, but you gotta admit,
it's easy to whistle.

25
00:00:50,826 --> 00:00:52,326
Look, I'm serious.

26
00:00:52,327 --> 00:00:54,996
You know, first the other reindeer tease

27
00:00:54,997 --> 00:00:56,364
and then ostracize him.

28
00:00:56,365 --> 00:01:00,285
And then when his abnormality
proves of service, they use him.

29
00:01:02,093 --> 00:01:03,454
But then do they allow him to play

30
00:01:03,455 --> 00:01:04,455
in their stupid reindeer games?

31
00:01:04,456 --> 00:01:05,456
Yes.

32
00:01:05,457 --> 00:01:06,457
Oh, no, no, no,

33
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,959
I know how the song goes.

34
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:08,960
In fact,

35
00:01:08,961 --> 00:01:10,962
not only do Donner, Blitzen, et al,

36
00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:13,965
not love him and laugh out with glee,

37
00:01:13,966 --> 00:01:16,351
but they doubly despise the
bulbous-nosed little wimp.

38
00:01:18,053 --> 00:01:19,387
Well, I gotta be off.

39
00:01:19,388 --> 00:01:20,772
Happy Holidays!

40
00:01:26,945 --> 00:01:29,230
? Making your way in the world today?

41
00:01:29,231 --> 00:01:32,233
? Takes everything you've got?

42
00:01:32,234 --> 00:01:35,236
? Taking a break from all your worries?

43
00:01:35,237 --> 00:01:38,239
? Sure would help a lot?

44
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:44,795
? Wouldn't you like to get away??

45
00:01:44,796 --> 00:01:46,297
? Sometimes you want to go?

46
00:01:46,298 --> 00:01:51,802
? Where everybody knows your name?

47
00:01:51,803 --> 00:01:56,807
? And they're always glad you came?

48
00:01:56,808 --> 00:01:58,809
? You want to be where you can see?

49
00:01:58,810 --> 00:02:01,812
? Our troubles are all the same?

50
00:02:01,813 --> 00:02:06,817
? You want to be where
everybody knows your name?

51
00:02:06,818 --> 00:02:09,320
? You want to go where people know?

52
00:02:09,321 --> 00:02:11,822
? People are all the same?

53
00:02:11,823 --> 00:02:16,328
? You want to go where
everybody knows your name.?

54
00:02:39,468 --> 00:02:41,970
Prithee, friends, what thinkst thou?

55
00:02:43,972 --> 00:02:45,973
You look ridiculous.

56
00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:47,975
I beg your pardon.

57
00:02:47,976 --> 00:02:49,977
This is an absolutely authentic example

58
00:02:49,978 --> 00:02:51,979
of feminine colonial headwear.

59
00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:53,481
I'm sorry.

60
00:02:53,482 --> 00:02:55,484
Thou lookest ridiculous.

61
00:02:58,987 --> 00:03:01,489
Hey, Miss Chambers, what's
the pilgrim get-up for?

62
00:03:01,490 --> 00:03:03,374
Oh, I was hoping somebody might ask.

63
00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:06,327
We're gonna have to talk later, Woody.

64
00:03:06,328 --> 00:03:10,331
My graduate American Literature
professor, Doctor Narsutis,

65
00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:14,335
annually recreates the first
Thanksgiving dinner at his home.

66
00:03:14,336 --> 00:03:17,838
He only invites two or
three favored students

67
00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:21,342
to break bread with his
family and other honored guests

68
00:03:21,343 --> 00:03:23,344
such as William Styron.

69
00:03:23,345 --> 00:03:25,346
And guess who's going to be there?

70
00:03:25,347 --> 00:03:28,349
William Styron?

71
00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:31,352
Yes, Woody.

72
00:03:31,353 --> 00:03:32,853
Ah, heck, anybody coulda got it

73
00:03:32,854 --> 00:03:34,356
if they'd really been listening.

74
00:03:35,857 --> 00:03:38,859
What a wonderful
opportunity for you, Diane.

75
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,328
You know, perhaps in the evening

76
00:03:40,329 --> 00:03:42,330
you can establish a
rapport with Mr. Styron

77
00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:43,831
while passing the yams.

78
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,833
Who knows? Come pie time,

79
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:47,335
he may well have taken
you under his wing

80
00:03:47,336 --> 00:03:49,837
and launched you into
the literary galaxy.

81
00:03:49,838 --> 00:03:52,840
Frasier, you and I are of like mind.

82
00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:54,843
Except one of us is kidding.

83
00:04:00,882 --> 00:04:04,385
Sam, I had thought we would
spend the holidays together,

84
00:04:04,386 --> 00:04:06,887
but when you made no
move in that direction,

85
00:04:06,888 --> 00:04:08,889
I made these alternate plans.

86
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:10,891
I hope it won't spoil your holiday.

87
00:04:10,892 --> 00:04:13,394
Thank you. No, I, I
have, I have other plans.

88
00:04:13,395 --> 00:04:16,397
Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.

89
00:04:16,398 --> 00:04:17,898
And in all fairness, I will understand

90
00:04:17,899 --> 00:04:19,400
if you get an escort for the day.

91
00:04:19,401 --> 00:04:21,902
It really wouldn't hurt my
feelings in the slightest.

92
00:04:21,903 --> 00:04:22,787
Good. Good, good,

93
00:04:22,788 --> 00:04:25,039
'cause I already have a date with Wendy.

94
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,541
How could you?

95
00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:30,544
Now you just said that
it was okay, didn't you?

96
00:04:30,545 --> 00:04:33,048
Yes.

97
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:37,051
I'm sorry.

98
00:04:37,052 --> 00:04:38,552
It's fine.

99
00:04:38,553 --> 00:04:39,553
Enjoy.

100
00:04:39,554 --> 00:04:40,554
Thank you.

101
00:04:40,555 --> 00:04:42,056
Besides, I know that

102
00:04:42,057 --> 00:04:44,558
we'll have many holidays together

103
00:04:44,559 --> 00:04:46,560
when you and I are one.

104
00:04:46,561 --> 00:04:49,064
You already are one, Diane.

105
00:04:51,566 --> 00:04:55,069
So, what's everybody else doing?

106
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,438
Oh, the holidays just
kind of snuck up...

107
00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:58,272
My mother-in-law...

108
00:04:58,273 --> 00:05:00,776
Yeah, that sounds like fun, too.

109
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,528
Well, I'm on my own this year.

110
00:05:04,529 --> 00:05:06,030
Kids aren't with ya?

111
00:05:06,031 --> 00:05:08,417
Nah. They're in Atlantic City with Nick.

112
00:05:09,418 --> 00:05:11,919
Yeah, this is my first
Thanksgiving away from home.

113
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,423
I mean, unless you count last year.

114
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,926
Wait a second. Listen to you.

115
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,428
Carla, you have a new place.

116
00:05:20,429 --> 00:05:21,929
You could have a little gathering.

117
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:22,931
Forget it.

118
00:05:23,432 --> 00:05:24,932
Oh, come on.

119
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,434
What could be more enjoyable

120
00:05:26,435 --> 00:05:28,936
than opening your heart
with holiday cheer?

121
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,440
Opening yours with a can opener?

122
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,942
That sounds great!

123
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:37,445
No, I meant the first
part, Miss Chambers.

124
00:05:37,446 --> 00:05:40,448
Well, why not?

125
00:05:40,449 --> 00:05:43,951
But it's gonna have to be potluck.

126
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:45,953
Sammy, why don't you bring
your date and join us?

127
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:46,954
All right.

128
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:49,457
Tell you what, Carla.
I'm good for dessert.

129
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:51,326
So I've been told.

130
00:05:52,577 --> 00:05:53,577
You know, I'm glad to see

131
00:05:53,578 --> 00:05:55,579
that you're all fending
off the holiday blues.

132
00:05:55,580 --> 00:05:59,083
This time of year is
filled with arguments,

133
00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:00,584
suicides, murders.

134
00:06:00,585 --> 00:06:04,088
Yeah, I guess it's the seasonal
happiness of others tends

135
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:05,589
to throw a glaring light on the flaws

136
00:06:05,590 --> 00:06:07,091
in our own interpersonal relationships.

137
00:06:07,092 --> 00:06:08,592
But see, of course,
that's no problem for me.

138
00:06:08,593 --> 00:06:10,979
I'm alone.

139
00:06:12,314 --> 00:06:14,181
Wanna join us for some bird, Frasier?

140
00:06:14,182 --> 00:06:16,651
Could I?

141
00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:21,155
Sure. The more the merrier.

142
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:23,908
Hey, so, uh, what time do
you want us there, Carla?

143
00:06:23,909 --> 00:06:26,193
What do you mean "us," Clavin?

144
00:06:26,194 --> 00:06:27,194
Well, you know...

145
00:06:27,195 --> 00:06:28,195
This party

146
00:06:28,196 --> 00:06:31,082
is for lonelies, not homelies.

147
00:06:32,584 --> 00:06:34,585
Besides, you'll be with your mother.

148
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,086
No, no, not this year.

149
00:06:36,087 --> 00:06:37,588
Uh, she's goin' down

150
00:06:37,589 --> 00:06:39,089
and ladle out some cream of something

151
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:40,841
to the folks down at the Rescue Mission.

152
00:06:40,842 --> 00:06:42,626
Yeah. Oh, how sweet.

153
00:06:42,627 --> 00:06:43,627
Why don't you join her?

154
00:06:43,628 --> 00:06:44,628
Are you kiddin'?

155
00:06:44,629 --> 00:06:46,130
I did my part this year.

156
00:06:46,131 --> 00:06:48,632
I was in "Hands Across
America," remember?

157
00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:51,018
Oh. Okay.

158
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:52,019
All right.

159
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,521
Norm, how about you and Vera?

160
00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:54,522
Yeah?

161
00:06:54,523 --> 00:06:55,523
No, I can't make it this year.

162
00:06:55,524 --> 00:06:57,391
Why not? I mean, we never even met Vera.

163
00:06:57,392 --> 00:06:58,192
Yeah.

164
00:06:58,193 --> 00:06:59,693
No, we gotta go to Vera's mother's.

165
00:06:59,694 --> 00:07:01,695
Such a drag.

166
00:07:01,696 --> 00:07:05,115
No beer, no TV, heat turned up to 80.

167
00:07:05,116 --> 00:07:07,618
That's all
right, Normie, you know.

168
00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:11,489
You gotta do what your
little wifey wants you to do.

169
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,874
You either got 'em or you don't.

170
00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:14,875
All right.

171
00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:16,878
You know somethin', Cliff,
you're absolutely right.

172
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,380
Eight years I've been goin'
to that old bat's house.

173
00:07:19,381 --> 00:07:20,748
I think Vera owes me one, all right?

174
00:07:20,749 --> 00:07:22,633
I'm gonna march into that house.

175
00:07:22,634 --> 00:07:23,634
I'm just gonna say,

176
00:07:23,635 --> 00:07:25,586
"Vera, this year we're goin'
to Carla's for Thanksgiving.

177
00:07:25,587 --> 00:07:27,087
That's the last I wanna
hear on the subject."

178
00:07:27,088 --> 00:07:29,089
All right! Good for you, Norm.

179
00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:31,593
Okay, Norm's out.

180
00:07:33,094 --> 00:07:35,063
Just count me in, all right? You'll see.

181
00:07:35,564 --> 00:07:37,064
Well, my house, noonish?

182
00:07:37,065 --> 00:07:40,067
Oh, this is gonna
be the greatest, huh?

183
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:41,569
All right.

184
00:07:41,570 --> 00:07:42,570
Well, I'm so relieved.

185
00:07:42,571 --> 00:07:44,071
Now I don't have to worry

186
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:46,073
about my poor little
Thanksgiving orphans

187
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:50,077
whilst I sup with the literati.

188
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,079
Boy, you know, I don't
know who's luckier.

189
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,532
You, 'cause you get to
go to that great party,

190
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:58,420
or us 'cause you get to
go to that great party.

191
00:08:05,293 --> 00:08:07,711
Taken down at the 40.

192
00:08:07,712 --> 00:08:10,464
And there's the gun
ending the first half.

193
00:08:10,465 --> 00:08:12,766
Yeah, this is just like bein' back home.

194
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,768
Yeah, hey, uh, Carla, look, I, uh,

195
00:08:14,769 --> 00:08:16,770
I really wanna tell ya
how much I appreciate

196
00:08:16,771 --> 00:08:18,272
you, uh, invitin' me over here.

197
00:08:18,273 --> 00:08:19,640
Don't mention it.

198
00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:21,275
I, uh, really appreciate it.

199
00:08:21,276 --> 00:08:23,060
No, I mean, don't ever mention

200
00:08:23,061 --> 00:08:26,448
to anyone that I let you in this house.

201
00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:29,617
May I change the channel

202
00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:31,619
or are you guys watching
this halftime salute

203
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:32,620
to our fabulous universe?

204
00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:33,621
No, go ahead.

205
00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:35,039
Oh, the parade.

206
00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,575
And who's this flying our way?

207
00:08:37,576 --> 00:08:39,460
None other than a 60-foot Mighty Mouse.

208
00:08:39,461 --> 00:08:43,415
All right, Mighty Mouse!

209
00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:45,300
I'll get it.

210
00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:49,303
Afternoon, everybody.

211
00:08:49,304 --> 00:08:52,306
Norm!

212
00:08:52,307 --> 00:08:53,807
Where's Vera?

213
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:56,810
She's, uh, she's gonna put
on a little more makeup.

214
00:08:56,811 --> 00:08:59,681
That, uh, first coat didn't really take.

215
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,518
She is comin', isn't she?

216
00:09:04,519 --> 00:09:06,854
Well, uh, maybe.

217
00:09:06,855 --> 00:09:08,822
Well, what're you sayin' there, Normie?

218
00:09:08,823 --> 00:09:11,276
We had the worst fight of our marriage.

219
00:09:12,777 --> 00:09:14,746
Oh, it's tough.

220
00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:16,246
She knew how much this meant to me

221
00:09:16,247 --> 00:09:18,248
and she still insisted
on goin' to her mother's.

222
00:09:18,249 --> 00:09:21,752
So I told her, "Look,
I'm goin' to Carla's."

223
00:09:21,753 --> 00:09:23,253
"You wanna meet me there, fine.

224
00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:24,755
"If you want to go to your mother's,

225
00:09:24,756 --> 00:09:26,123
you can just stay there."

226
00:09:26,124 --> 00:09:27,876
Brutal.

227
00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:36,350
Well, you know, Norm,

228
00:09:36,351 --> 00:09:38,352
I don't think you should worry about it.

229
00:09:38,353 --> 00:09:40,604
She'll probably come to
her senses and show up.

230
00:09:40,605 --> 00:09:43,440
The important thing is that
you're here with us now.

231
00:09:43,441 --> 00:09:45,943
This is gonna be the
best Thanksgiving ever.

232
00:09:45,944 --> 00:09:47,444
All right, Woody.

233
00:09:47,445 --> 00:09:50,565
You know, I brought
that turkey and, uh...

234
00:09:54,452 --> 00:09:56,320
Mr. P., that turkey
seems kinda big and raw.

235
00:09:56,321 --> 00:09:58,205
You think it's gonna be
ready in time for dinner?

236
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:02,076
Well, I had planned on just a
bit more cookin' time, Woods,

237
00:10:02,077 --> 00:10:04,962
but, uh, traffic on I-93
was bumper-to-bumper.

238
00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:06,330
I-93? I took the side streets.

239
00:10:06,331 --> 00:10:08,215
I got here in 35 minutes, buddy.

240
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:08,966
You didn't take Mass Avenue all the way?

241
00:10:08,967 --> 00:10:10,468
I took Commonwealth.

242
00:10:12,687 --> 00:10:14,888
I need the quickest way to
get to the kitchen right now.

243
00:10:14,889 --> 00:10:16,390
Oh, yeah, come on.

244
00:10:16,391 --> 00:10:17,752
I'll show you where everything is.

245
00:10:26,101 --> 00:10:28,103
Oh, hey, no waitin'
around for my contribution.

246
00:10:28,603 --> 00:10:30,104
Here ya go.

247
00:10:30,105 --> 00:10:31,106
Popcorn balls!

248
00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:32,606
Chow down, hear?

249
00:10:32,607 --> 00:10:34,108
Hey, aren't these what you brought

250
00:10:34,109 --> 00:10:35,109
to the Halloween party?

251
00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:37,111
Well, yeah, they're a
perennial favorite, Woodman.

252
00:10:37,112 --> 00:10:38,112
Yeah, but aren't these the ones

253
00:10:38,113 --> 00:10:39,614
you brought to the Halloween party?

254
00:10:45,587 --> 00:10:47,337
Hi.

255
00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:49,006
Oh, hi, Sammy. I thought
maybe you were Vera.

256
00:10:49,007 --> 00:10:51,208
Boy, I can't wait to meet her.

257
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:52,626
Sammy, yo!

258
00:10:52,627 --> 00:10:55,629
Hey, Sammy! Hey, Sam.

259
00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:56,630
So, uh, where's your date?

260
00:10:56,631 --> 00:10:59,133
Oh. Well, there's a change of plans.

261
00:10:59,134 --> 00:11:00,634
Her sister showed up from out of town

262
00:11:00,635 --> 00:11:04,638
and they didn't like my idea,
so what the hell, you know?

263
00:11:04,639 --> 00:11:08,142
Hey, guys.

264
00:11:08,143 --> 00:11:10,145
Hey, yeah, watch the parade.

265
00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:17,067
You know, the important thing
is that you're here now, huh?

266
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:18,068
We're all here.

267
00:11:18,069 --> 00:11:19,570
This is gonna be the greatest.

268
00:11:19,571 --> 00:11:20,571
Yeah. Who needs family?

269
00:11:20,572 --> 00:11:21,572
You know, Woody, you're right.

270
00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:23,073
Family is not necessarily

271
00:11:23,074 --> 00:11:24,575
limited to blood relations.

272
00:11:24,576 --> 00:11:25,576
That's right.

273
00:11:25,577 --> 00:11:27,457
Uh, this is much better
than, uh, hangin' around

274
00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:29,079
with a bunch of dingbat
cousins all day long

275
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,581
that you don't get to
see but once a year, huh?

276
00:11:30,582 --> 00:11:32,583
Yeah, or waiting for some
duddy old aunt to show up

277
00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:34,635
and spoil all your fun.

278
00:11:34,636 --> 00:11:36,504
Gobble, gobble!

279
00:11:53,738 --> 00:11:54,772
Come on, open the door.

280
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:55,773
No, no...

281
00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,274
It's Thanksgiving, Carla.

282
00:11:57,275 --> 00:11:58,776
Oh! Okay...

283
00:11:58,777 --> 00:12:00,778
maybe she'll choke on a drumstick.

284
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:01,780
Yeah.

285
00:12:03,281 --> 00:12:04,665
Thank you, Carla.

286
00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,583
Hello, everyone.

287
00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:08,085
Hi, Miss Chambers.

288
00:12:08,086 --> 00:12:10,087
Hey, uh, Diane.

289
00:12:10,088 --> 00:12:13,090
Ooh, Carla, I like what
you've done with the place.

290
00:12:13,091 --> 00:12:14,458
What do you want?

291
00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:18,796
Well, I decided that I'd
rather be among friends

292
00:12:18,797 --> 00:12:20,799
than with my stuffy old professor.

293
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,802
Oh, dear, oh, dear.

294
00:12:24,803 --> 00:12:28,305
What happened?

295
00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,807
Oh... Come on.

296
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:33,727
I'm afraid my golden
afternoon turned to dross.

297
00:12:33,728 --> 00:12:35,530
I thought it was clouding up.

298
00:12:37,532 --> 00:12:39,533
The moment I arrived at
the home of my professor,

299
00:12:39,534 --> 00:12:44,538
I was greeted by a man with a
clipboard who handed me a tray

300
00:12:44,539 --> 00:12:46,907
and told me to serve a
daiquiri to Ms. Radziwill.

301
00:12:46,908 --> 00:12:48,158
Oh...

302
00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:51,379
We students were
invited as domestic help.

303
00:12:56,217 --> 00:13:00,220
That might be all right when
you're a wide-eyed 19-year-old,

304
00:13:00,221 --> 00:13:03,091
but it's certainly not all
right when you're... not.

305
00:13:05,059 --> 00:13:06,927
We're all... we're very sorry, Diane.

306
00:13:06,928 --> 00:13:08,896
Thank you, Sam.

307
00:13:08,897 --> 00:13:09,897
Yeah.

308
00:13:09,898 --> 00:13:12,399
Well, at least you told
that pinhead off, didn't ya?

309
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,903
Oh, I dropped the
tray, burst into tears,

310
00:13:15,904 --> 00:13:19,773
took a moment to freshen
up my mascara, and fled.

311
00:13:19,774 --> 00:13:22,526
The important thing is
you're here now, huh?

312
00:13:22,527 --> 00:13:24,027
This is gonna be great.

313
00:13:24,028 --> 00:13:26,531
Would somebody put a gag on Andy Hardy?

314
00:13:27,292 --> 00:13:28,532
You know, Diane, if I were you,

315
00:13:28,533 --> 00:13:29,533
I'd call that guy up

316
00:13:29,534 --> 00:13:32,035
and nail his sheepskin to the wall.

317
00:13:32,036 --> 00:13:34,037
You're absolutely right.

318
00:13:34,038 --> 00:13:35,038
Hey, better yet.

319
00:13:35,039 --> 00:13:38,292
Why don't you go on over
there and tell him in person?

320
00:13:38,293 --> 00:13:39,733
Yeah, good idea. Yeah, that's right.

321
00:13:41,095 --> 00:13:42,596
Hello, Dr. Narsutis?

322
00:13:42,597 --> 00:13:44,097
This is Diane Chambers.

323
00:13:44,098 --> 00:13:46,099
I... yes, the one who fled.

324
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:50,103
Listen, I... I beg your pardon?

325
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:55,609
Well, yes, of course
I accept your apology.

326
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:56,610
He's invited me back.

327
00:13:56,611 --> 00:13:59,479
Go, go. Go.

328
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,865
Dr. Narsutis, I'm sorry, I can't.

329
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:03,233
I'm here with my friends,

330
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:04,985
my support system,

331
00:14:04,986 --> 00:14:07,287
and there's really no
place I'd rather be.

332
00:14:07,288 --> 00:14:11,792
I trust this won't affect my grade?

333
00:14:11,793 --> 00:14:12,793
Thank you.

334
00:14:12,794 --> 00:14:13,795
Good day, sir.

335
00:14:15,213 --> 00:14:16,714
Turned him down, huh?

336
00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:21,051
Now that I find myself in
the warmth of your company

337
00:14:21,052 --> 00:14:22,553
how could I possibly go?

338
00:14:23,054 --> 00:14:24,054
Take Mass Ave.

339
00:14:24,055 --> 00:14:25,555
I-93.

340
00:14:25,556 --> 00:14:27,557
You holiday hooligans.

341
00:14:27,558 --> 00:14:29,060
Give me a beer.

342
00:14:30,929 --> 00:14:32,930
So, Sam... Thanks.

343
00:14:32,931 --> 00:14:34,431
Where's your date?

344
00:14:34,432 --> 00:14:35,933
Oh, change of plans.

345
00:14:35,934 --> 00:14:37,434
Her sister showed up.

346
00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:39,436
Of course she did.

347
00:14:39,437 --> 00:14:42,823
Chortle, chortle.

348
00:14:42,824 --> 00:14:45,275
No, I'm serious.

349
00:14:45,276 --> 00:14:46,777
I had a date and it fell through.

350
00:14:46,778 --> 00:14:48,662
Oh, you don't have to convince me, Sam.

351
00:14:48,663 --> 00:14:49,663
I believe you.

352
00:14:49,664 --> 00:14:52,666
I'm telling you the truth.

353
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:55,036
And I love you for it.

354
00:14:57,839 --> 00:14:59,790
How's the turkey doing there, Norm?

355
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,792
I'd say pretty good
for about five minutes.

356
00:15:01,793 --> 00:15:03,176
Oh.

357
00:15:03,177 --> 00:15:05,462
Hey, half-time's over.
The game's back on.

358
00:15:05,463 --> 00:15:06,463
Oh, great.

359
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,466
Oh, you're watching sports?

360
00:15:08,562 --> 00:15:09,883
Hey, don't worry about it, Diane.

361
00:15:09,884 --> 00:15:10,968
Game's almost over.

362
00:15:10,969 --> 00:15:13,353
Oh, I hope so.

363
00:15:13,354 --> 00:15:16,691
Knocked away
and it's incomplete at the 45.

364
00:15:19,193 --> 00:15:20,193
Yeah, I deliver his mail.

365
00:15:20,194 --> 00:15:22,696
Isn't this game over yet?

366
00:15:22,697 --> 00:15:23,447
Not yet.

367
00:15:23,448 --> 00:15:24,781
Well, their uniforms

368
00:15:24,782 --> 00:15:27,034
are different colors than before.

369
00:15:27,035 --> 00:15:28,318
Uh, well, they gotta change them

370
00:15:28,319 --> 00:15:30,204
every time they score
a touchdown, Diane.

371
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,240
Hey, Normie,

372
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:35,075
where the hell is that bird?

373
00:15:35,076 --> 00:15:36,960
Cliffy, it's a big turkey.

374
00:15:36,961 --> 00:15:38,079
So are you.

375
00:15:45,169 --> 00:15:46,970
With a tremendous body slam!

376
00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:51,258
Now wait a minute!

377
00:15:51,259 --> 00:15:52,759
Diane, Diane, you're absolutely right.

378
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,262
You know, let's turn it
back on the football, guys.

379
00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:56,263
There you go. No, no, no!

380
00:15:56,264 --> 00:15:57,764
Enough is enough!

381
00:15:57,765 --> 00:15:59,766
I don't think watching television

382
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:01,768
was the pilgrims' original intent

383
00:16:01,769 --> 00:16:03,770
when they created the holiday.

384
00:16:03,771 --> 00:16:04,771
Well, uh...

385
00:16:04,772 --> 00:16:06,133
No, hey, hey, hey... Hey, come on!

386
00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:07,774
All right, all right,
look, look, look, look,

387
00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:10,277
the turkey's probably almost done.

388
00:16:10,278 --> 00:16:11,778
Let's just adjourn to
the dining room, huh?

389
00:16:11,779 --> 00:16:13,280
All right!

390
00:16:13,281 --> 00:16:14,781
I second that emotion.

391
00:16:14,782 --> 00:16:16,783
Okay, we'll be sitting

392
00:16:16,784 --> 00:16:17,784
boy-girl, boy-girl.

393
00:16:17,785 --> 00:16:20,787
Clavin, you can sit anywhere.

394
00:16:20,788 --> 00:16:22,289
Somebody save me a seat.

395
00:16:22,290 --> 00:16:24,291
I got to see a man about a horse.

396
00:16:24,292 --> 00:16:26,794
He doesn't really have to
see a man about a horse.

397
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,302
All right.

398
00:16:34,802 --> 00:16:36,803
Well, what do you say
we, uh, dig into this, uh,

399
00:16:36,804 --> 00:16:38,305
Jell-O surprise here?

400
00:16:38,306 --> 00:16:39,806
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh...

401
00:16:39,807 --> 00:16:40,807
we're not eating

402
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:42,309
until the turkey is on the table.

403
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:44,194
Everybody went to a lot of bother

404
00:16:44,195 --> 00:16:45,445
to make this fine meal.

405
00:16:45,446 --> 00:16:46,947
We're not going to eat it in pieces.

406
00:16:46,948 --> 00:16:49,950
Keep your hands off the food.

407
00:16:49,951 --> 00:16:51,952
Listen, guys, the, uh,

408
00:16:51,953 --> 00:16:54,454
turkey's not exactly brown just yet.

409
00:16:54,455 --> 00:16:55,455
What color is it, then?

410
00:16:55,456 --> 00:16:56,958
Off-white.

411
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:01,962
But I've reset the timer
and I turned up the gas.

412
00:17:01,963 --> 00:17:03,463
I expect the little pop thing

413
00:17:03,464 --> 00:17:04,785
will be popping out any time now.

414
00:17:04,966 --> 00:17:07,968
Great. Well, I hope it
hurries 'cause I'm starved.

415
00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:11,972
Well, I suggest we take
advantage of the delay

416
00:17:11,973 --> 00:17:14,724
and engage in one of
my family's favorite

417
00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,927
little Thanksgiving traditions.

418
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:18,261
Sam, I know you're
standing in the hallway.

419
00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:19,263
Get in here.

420
00:17:21,265 --> 00:17:24,267
Rats.

421
00:17:24,268 --> 00:17:25,769
In lieu of grace,

422
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,771
we stand up and take turns

423
00:17:27,772 --> 00:17:29,773
toasting that for which we are thankful.

424
00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:31,975
Since you're already standing,
Sam, why don't you begin?

425
00:17:33,694 --> 00:17:35,195
All right, I'm, uh...

426
00:17:35,196 --> 00:17:39,699
I'm thankful that I have a
super car and a cool stereo

427
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:42,620
and that I'm not dressed
in a pilgrim's outfit.

428
00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:44,621
I'll drink to that.

429
00:17:44,622 --> 00:17:46,123
You make a mockery of everything.

430
00:17:46,124 --> 00:17:47,374
Oh, well...

431
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:48,542
Hey, can I go next?

432
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:49,793
I don't see a line.

433
00:17:49,794 --> 00:17:52,680
Woody. Woody. Woody.

434
00:17:54,182 --> 00:17:55,182
Uh...

435
00:17:55,183 --> 00:17:57,551
I'm thankful that I'm an American.

436
00:17:57,552 --> 00:17:59,019
Hey, all right.

437
00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:00,020
I'm thankful for the upbringing

438
00:18:00,021 --> 00:18:02,022
my parents gave me.

439
00:18:02,023 --> 00:18:04,524
Uh, I'm thankful for all the friends

440
00:18:04,525 --> 00:18:05,892
I've made in Boston.

441
00:18:05,893 --> 00:18:07,694
And, uh...

442
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,197
I'm thankful that I can do this.

443
00:18:10,198 --> 00:18:12,199
Yo!

444
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,701
Put it away.

445
00:18:14,569 --> 00:18:16,903
Hey, can you guys do this?

446
00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:18,405
Oh!

447
00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:21,408
That makes my thing look kinda stupid.

448
00:18:21,409 --> 00:18:22,909
I can wiggle my ears, watch this.

449
00:18:22,910 --> 00:18:24,294
You guys ever see tongue push-ups?

450
00:18:24,295 --> 00:18:25,629
Look at these ears flapping.

451
00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:26,630
Watch this.

452
00:18:26,631 --> 00:18:28,131
Please, please!

453
00:18:28,132 --> 00:18:30,133
We are not here to be thankful

454
00:18:30,134 --> 00:18:33,638
for strange things we
can do with our bodies.

455
00:18:37,558 --> 00:18:39,059
Norman, you're next.

456
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,478
Well, I'm thankful that
there's a turkey in the kitchen

457
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:42,979
that needs to be checked.

458
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:44,581
Yeah. Yeah, get the damn thing out here.

459
00:18:45,983 --> 00:18:48,985
All right, I guess I need
to give you an indication

460
00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:50,487
of what I had in mind.

461
00:18:50,488 --> 00:18:52,989
Now I, too, am very
thankful for my health

462
00:18:52,990 --> 00:18:54,491
and for my dear friends.

463
00:18:54,492 --> 00:18:56,993
But on this very special occasion,

464
00:18:56,994 --> 00:18:58,495
my mind goes back over the years

465
00:18:58,496 --> 00:19:00,997
to the people who have influenced me.

466
00:19:00,998 --> 00:19:04,501
And I would like to name
some of them for you.

467
00:19:04,502 --> 00:19:06,003
Teilhard Chardin...

468
00:19:07,838 --> 00:19:09,289
George Sand...

469
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:11,925
Caravaggio...

470
00:19:11,926 --> 00:19:14,711
Oh, Emily Dickenson...

471
00:19:14,712 --> 00:19:16,097
the Buddha...

472
00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:18,933
Frank Lloyd Wright...

473
00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:21,434
Jean d'Arc...

474
00:19:21,435 --> 00:19:23,938
Shari Lewis and Lamb Chop.

475
00:19:26,941 --> 00:19:28,942
Uh, guys, uh, listen,

476
00:19:28,943 --> 00:19:30,443
I'm having a slight, uh, problem

477
00:19:30,444 --> 00:19:31,945
with the damn bird, all right?

478
00:19:31,946 --> 00:19:33,947
What color is it now, Norman?

479
00:19:33,948 --> 00:19:36,450
Well, I think we're moving
into the earth tones.

480
00:19:40,404 --> 00:19:42,906
This better be good news, Norm.

481
00:19:42,907 --> 00:19:44,908
Look, uh, I'm sorry, guys.

482
00:19:44,909 --> 00:19:46,409
The little pop thing won't pop out.

483
00:19:46,410 --> 00:19:47,911
There's something wrong with it.

484
00:19:47,912 --> 00:19:48,912
There's something wrong with you.

485
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:50,914
No, no, it's the little pop thing.

486
00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:52,916
Hey, could somebody please explain to me

487
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:54,918
where the little pop
thing is on the turkey?

488
00:19:54,919 --> 00:19:56,920
I mean, 'cause maybe it's
different in the city,

489
00:19:56,921 --> 00:19:58,421
but in the country where I come from,

490
00:19:58,422 --> 00:20:01,925
turkeys aren't born
with little pop things.

491
00:20:01,926 --> 00:20:03,426
The little pop thing has a name!

492
00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:04,928
It's called a thermometer!

493
00:20:04,929 --> 00:20:06,930
Now can we all please say "thermometer."

494
00:20:06,931 --> 00:20:07,931
Thermometer!

495
00:20:07,932 --> 00:20:08,932
Thermometer, yeah!

496
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:10,934
We can say it till
we're blue in the face.

497
00:20:10,935 --> 00:20:13,436
It's not gonna make
it pop out any faster.

498
00:20:13,437 --> 00:20:16,439
I think something's wrong
with your oven, Carla.

499
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,441
Hey, my oven was just fine

500
00:20:18,442 --> 00:20:20,328
until you stuffed Birdzilla in it.

501
00:20:22,079 --> 00:20:24,080
Come on, you guys, come on.

502
00:20:24,081 --> 00:20:27,083
We don't have to bite each
other's heads off here.

503
00:20:27,084 --> 00:20:30,004
It may be the only thing we
get to eat this day, Sammy.

504
00:20:32,256 --> 00:20:34,541
Hey, you guys, this is Thanksgiving.

505
00:20:34,542 --> 00:20:38,044
And I still say this is
going to be the greatest.

506
00:20:38,045 --> 00:20:39,963
Oh, who the hell do
we think we're kidding?

507
00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:41,525
We're all a bunch of pathetic dropouts.

508
00:20:41,932 --> 00:20:44,301
Scorned by our loved ones,

509
00:20:44,302 --> 00:20:45,803
as if anybody ever loved us at all.

510
00:20:46,304 --> 00:20:47,804
Hey, will you lighten up, man?

511
00:20:47,805 --> 00:20:49,306
The only thing wrong
here is we're hungry.

512
00:20:49,307 --> 00:20:50,807
Now who else wants
to join me in these...

513
00:20:50,808 --> 00:20:54,277
ice-cold potatoes?

514
00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:56,946
Hey, they'll go great here
with the, uh, Jell-O soup.

515
00:20:56,947 --> 00:20:58,398
I'm dying to try some of the hair

516
00:20:58,399 --> 00:21:01,318
growing on the crudités.

517
00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:03,320
Well, pass me my peas.

518
00:21:03,321 --> 00:21:06,206
I made them so I know they're okay.

519
00:21:06,207 --> 00:21:09,075
Was that remark, uh, directed
at me, Carla, by any chance?

520
00:21:09,076 --> 00:21:11,578
No, it was directed
at your stupid turkey

521
00:21:11,579 --> 00:21:14,081
and your stupid stuffing
and your stupid gravy.

522
00:21:14,501 --> 00:21:15,582
What's wrong with my gravy?

523
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:16,883
Oh, nothing, except you could

524
00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:19,803
walk across the skin on top of it.

525
00:21:19,804 --> 00:21:21,304
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Julia Child.

526
00:21:21,305 --> 00:21:22,806
Here's your perfect peas.

527
00:21:22,807 --> 00:21:24,809
Oh, look, I spilled one. Sorry.

528
00:21:27,812 --> 00:21:28,813
Thank you.

529
00:21:30,731 --> 00:21:33,733
Norm, I'm sorry about what
I said about your gravy.

530
00:21:33,734 --> 00:21:35,235
All right.

531
00:21:35,236 --> 00:21:36,603
It's okay. Fine.

532
00:21:36,604 --> 00:21:37,988
And so are the carrots.

533
00:21:41,325 --> 00:21:44,745
Uh, anybody want some of
these, uh, lovely yams?

534
00:21:50,701 --> 00:21:54,372
Woody, would you care
to test the gravy skin?

535
00:21:58,376 --> 00:21:59,376
People! People! People!

536
00:21:59,377 --> 00:22:02,129
Stop this immediately!

537
00:22:07,184 --> 00:22:13,607
I have never been witness
to such a silly, soph...

538
00:22:21,482 --> 00:22:23,451
Sam Malone...

539
00:22:23,951 --> 00:22:25,318
kiss your butt good-bye!

540
00:22:25,319 --> 00:22:26,704
Food fight!

541
00:22:48,476 --> 00:22:50,427
I knew this was gonna be the greatest.

542
00:22:50,428 --> 00:22:51,928
Huh?

543
00:22:51,929 --> 00:22:53,179
Good bird.

544
00:22:53,180 --> 00:22:55,515
Hey, Diane, may I say

545
00:22:55,516 --> 00:22:58,018
you look saucy in cranberry.

546
00:22:59,019 --> 00:23:01,020
Laugh while you can, Sam.

547
00:23:01,021 --> 00:23:03,523
Just remember that revenge is a dish

548
00:23:03,524 --> 00:23:05,025
best served cold.

549
00:23:05,526 --> 00:23:07,527
You won't know when and
you won't know where,

550
00:23:07,528 --> 00:23:09,529
but I'm going to get you.

551
00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:11,030
Now that we're done with dinner,

552
00:23:11,031 --> 00:23:13,032
I'd like to make a
toast to our loved ones

553
00:23:13,033 --> 00:23:15,535
who weren't fortunate
enough to be here with us.

554
00:23:15,536 --> 00:23:17,036
Nice thought.

555
00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:19,873
Uh, Mom, Dad...

556
00:23:19,874 --> 00:23:21,424
Uncle Fergie...

557
00:23:21,425 --> 00:23:22,926
My kids.

558
00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:24,427
All right, Vera.

559
00:23:24,428 --> 00:23:25,428
Yeah. Ma.

560
00:23:25,429 --> 00:23:27,431
Coach. ALL: Yeah.

561
00:23:28,432 --> 00:23:30,434
Oh... God bless you all. Very nice.

562
00:23:31,936 --> 00:23:34,938
Well, I think we're
about ready for dessert.

563
00:23:34,939 --> 00:23:35,939
Yeah.

564
00:23:35,940 --> 00:23:37,440
Everybody get enough to eat?

565
00:23:37,441 --> 00:23:39,442
You know, I never had a
chance to try the potatoes.

566
00:23:39,443 --> 00:23:40,444
I'll get it.

567
00:23:40,725 --> 00:23:42,445
Oh, well, here, let
me, uh... Oh, thank you.

568
00:23:42,446 --> 00:23:43,447
There you go, man. Sure.

569
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,700
Vera. You came.

570
00:23:47,701 --> 00:23:49,202
Honey, I'm so happy.

571
00:23:49,203 --> 00:23:50,203
Hey, you guys, uh...

572
00:23:50,204 --> 00:23:52,705
Come on, Vera, come on
in, meet all the guys.

573
00:23:52,706 --> 00:23:54,707
This is great. We
finally get to meet Vera.

574
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:56,576
Sam...

575
00:23:56,577 --> 00:23:58,329
think fast!

576
00:24:02,833 --> 00:24:05,718
Everybody, this is, uh, Vera...

577
00:24:05,719 --> 00:24:07,053
Charming friends, Norm.

578
00:24:07,054 --> 00:24:08,054
Get your coat.

579
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:09,557
Yes, dear.