1 00:00:01,971 --> 00:00:05,274 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:06,109 --> 00:00:08,110 Hey, what're you doing there, Norm? 3 00:00:08,111 --> 00:00:10,112 Oh, Vera signed me up to give a speech 4 00:00:10,113 --> 00:00:11,614 at her Women's Auxiliary Club. 5 00:00:12,615 --> 00:00:14,116 I hate public speaking. 6 00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:15,617 Yeah, you're not alone there, pal. 7 00:00:15,618 --> 00:00:17,119 Well, it's awful, you know. 8 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,120 You're standing there 9 00:00:18,121 --> 00:00:20,122 in front of a group of total strangers... 10 00:00:20,123 --> 00:00:22,624 palms sweating, your throat dry, 11 00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:24,626 your mouth feels like it's full of cotton. 12 00:00:24,627 --> 00:00:25,994 Your knees practically buckling. 13 00:00:25,995 --> 00:00:27,963 It can be a miserable experience. I tell you. 14 00:00:27,964 --> 00:00:28,964 So what's the topic? 15 00:00:28,965 --> 00:00:31,968 "The Key to Success." 16 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,142 ? Making your way in the world today? 17 00:00:40,143 --> 00:00:42,644 ? Takes everything you've got? 18 00:00:42,645 --> 00:00:46,148 ? Taking a break from all your worries? 19 00:00:46,149 --> 00:00:48,650 ? Sure would help a lot? 20 00:00:48,651 --> 00:00:51,654 ? Wouldn't you like to get away?? 21 00:00:54,407 --> 00:00:57,192 ? Sometimes you want to go? 22 00:00:57,193 --> 00:01:01,697 ? Where everybody knows your name? 23 00:01:01,698 --> 00:01:07,202 ? And they're always glad you came? 24 00:01:07,203 --> 00:01:09,204 ? You want to be where you can see? 25 00:01:09,205 --> 00:01:12,207 ? Our troubles are all the same? 26 00:01:12,208 --> 00:01:16,713 ? You want to be where everybody knows your name? 27 00:01:17,714 --> 00:01:20,215 ? You want to go where people know? 28 00:01:20,216 --> 00:01:22,718 ? People are all the same? 29 00:01:22,719 --> 00:01:27,223 ? You want to go where everybody knows your name.? 30 00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:46,125 Thanks, Mom. Yeah, don't worry about it. 31 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,126 I'll find somebody to sit for the kids. 32 00:01:48,127 --> 00:01:48,994 Bye. 33 00:01:48,995 --> 00:01:50,379 She can't do it? 34 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:51,748 She's scared to. 35 00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:55,050 Oh, yeah, I'll, uh, watch the kids for you, Carla. 36 00:01:55,051 --> 00:01:57,552 It's not fair. This always happens to me 37 00:01:57,553 --> 00:01:59,054 when I have a date on a weeknight. 38 00:01:59,055 --> 00:02:00,555 Oh, who's the lucky guy? 39 00:02:00,556 --> 00:02:01,423 My butcher. 40 00:02:01,424 --> 00:02:02,891 Oh, yeah? What happened to Eddie? 41 00:02:02,892 --> 00:02:04,309 Eddie's in Vancouver. 42 00:02:04,310 --> 00:02:06,311 My butcher's three blocks down. 43 00:02:06,312 --> 00:02:07,563 Life is short. 44 00:02:08,823 --> 00:02:11,183 I wouldn't mind, uh, looking after your kids for you, Carla. 45 00:02:11,184 --> 00:02:13,069 What am I gonna do now? 46 00:02:14,387 --> 00:02:16,188 Well, I'd do it, but I'm working on Wednesday. 47 00:02:16,189 --> 00:02:17,022 Yeah. 48 00:02:17,023 --> 00:02:18,523 Yeah, Vera and I would love to, 49 00:02:18,524 --> 00:02:20,025 but, uh, we have this thing Wednesday night. 50 00:02:20,026 --> 00:02:21,326 Yeah, uh, Diane and I 51 00:02:21,327 --> 00:02:23,495 have a thing, too. Yeah. 52 00:02:23,496 --> 00:02:24,863 Maybe it's the same thing. 53 00:02:24,864 --> 00:02:26,749 I don't think so. Probably not. 54 00:02:29,035 --> 00:02:31,536 Oh, I'm, uh, I'm not busy Wednesday. 55 00:02:31,537 --> 00:02:34,040 Well, guess I'm gonna have to cancel my date. 56 00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:40,045 Well, is this a day to press in your memory books or what? 57 00:02:40,046 --> 00:02:42,798 Well, you guys sound pretty chipper. 58 00:02:42,799 --> 00:02:44,099 Shall I tell them, Lilith? 59 00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,602 Out with it, or I'm liable to burst with anticipation. 60 00:02:49,188 --> 00:02:52,440 Doctors Sternin and Crane are proud to announce 61 00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:55,311 that they are now officially POSSLQ's. 62 00:02:57,146 --> 00:03:00,615 It means "Persons of the Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters." 63 00:03:00,616 --> 00:03:01,483 Yes. 64 00:03:01,484 --> 00:03:03,451 Oh. 65 00:03:03,452 --> 00:03:05,954 You see, it's a little, uh, lovers' in-joke we picked up 66 00:03:05,955 --> 00:03:07,322 from a Census Bureau acronym. 67 00:03:07,323 --> 00:03:09,158 Oh, I love those. 68 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,661 Well, man, hey, that's great. 69 00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:14,663 Congratulations. Yes, yes. 70 00:03:14,664 --> 00:03:15,664 Thank you. 71 00:03:15,665 --> 00:03:17,632 But this is... quite a surprise. 72 00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,384 You've only known each other a few months, 73 00:03:19,385 --> 00:03:21,169 and you're moving in together? 74 00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:23,421 That's pretty impetuous. 75 00:03:23,422 --> 00:03:26,341 Well, a week ago, we decided to take a chance on cohabitation, 76 00:03:26,342 --> 00:03:28,844 but we waited a week before announcing the news, 77 00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:29,845 so as to avoid 78 00:03:29,846 --> 00:03:31,263 putting any undue pressure 79 00:03:31,264 --> 00:03:33,148 on the success or failure of the endeavor. 80 00:03:33,149 --> 00:03:35,934 And now we are pleased to announce the effort 81 00:03:35,935 --> 00:03:37,320 a limited success. 82 00:03:39,105 --> 00:03:43,491 Yes, pretty darn impetuous. 83 00:03:43,492 --> 00:03:45,360 Well, we thought that the two of you 84 00:03:45,361 --> 00:03:46,862 were responsible for Lilith and I 85 00:03:46,863 --> 00:03:49,364 finding each other in this cockeyed world, 86 00:03:49,365 --> 00:03:51,366 so, we, uh, we thought we'd like to have you 87 00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:54,369 over for dinner on Wednesday night as our very first guests. 88 00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:55,871 Aw. Why, we'd be honored. 89 00:03:55,872 --> 00:03:57,372 Yeah, I'll be there. 90 00:03:57,373 --> 00:03:58,340 Great. We'll get away 91 00:03:58,341 --> 00:03:59,841 from the hurly-burly of this place 92 00:03:59,842 --> 00:04:01,710 and concentrate completely on the lost art of conversation. 93 00:04:01,711 --> 00:04:03,546 Hmm. I'll be there anyway. 94 00:04:04,847 --> 00:04:05,847 All right, 95 00:04:05,848 --> 00:04:07,849 Wednesday night it is then. Oh, uh, shall we say, 96 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:09,351 oh, uh, what... 97 00:04:09,352 --> 00:04:10,218 8:00-ish? 98 00:04:10,219 --> 00:04:11,603 Wonderful. 99 00:04:11,604 --> 00:04:14,607 You don't know how happy this makes me. 100 00:04:16,976 --> 00:04:19,394 So, you and Diane have this thing Wednesday night, huh? 101 00:04:19,395 --> 00:04:21,279 Well, why don't you just come out and say it? 102 00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:24,065 You don't want to spend an evening alone with my kids. 103 00:04:24,066 --> 00:04:27,869 We don't want to spend an evening alone with your kids. 104 00:04:27,870 --> 00:04:30,739 Neither do I. 105 00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:32,741 But what choice do I have? 106 00:04:32,742 --> 00:04:33,708 Well... Carla, 107 00:04:33,709 --> 00:04:37,579 I think Cliff might be interested in watching them. 108 00:04:37,580 --> 00:04:39,047 Hey, hey, 109 00:04:39,048 --> 00:04:40,548 what are you doing Wednesday night? 110 00:04:40,549 --> 00:04:42,051 Pumping iron. 111 00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:48,557 Okay, Cliff, you're up. 112 00:04:49,058 --> 00:04:51,059 Be at my house Wednesday at 6:00. 113 00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:53,062 But remember, you asked for it. 114 00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:55,563 Here, come here. Here... 115 00:04:55,564 --> 00:04:58,566 obviously, she doesn't think that I can handle the kids, huh? 116 00:04:58,567 --> 00:05:01,569 Yeah, but my guess is that, uh, they'll settle down once 117 00:05:01,570 --> 00:05:04,072 they're confronted with a strong male authority figure. 118 00:05:04,073 --> 00:05:06,575 Are you bringing your mom? 119 00:05:27,463 --> 00:05:29,465 I'm home, sweet potato. 120 00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:33,686 Just a moment, cinnamon bear. 121 00:05:54,490 --> 00:05:56,491 How was your day? 122 00:05:56,492 --> 00:05:58,994 Oh, I want to take you now, by the dip. 123 00:05:58,995 --> 00:06:00,996 You impulsive man. We have guests coming. 124 00:06:00,997 --> 00:06:01,997 Yes, I know. 125 00:06:01,998 --> 00:06:03,498 It'll be our little joke on them. 126 00:06:03,499 --> 00:06:05,001 Every time they say the word "dip," 127 00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:07,003 we'll become giddy with remembrance. 128 00:06:08,504 --> 00:06:10,505 The word itself will become a syllable filled 129 00:06:10,506 --> 00:06:12,507 with our overwhelming passion. 130 00:06:12,508 --> 00:06:15,510 Dear, you're using sex to express your aggression 131 00:06:15,511 --> 00:06:18,513 toward the confines of polite society. 132 00:06:18,514 --> 00:06:19,514 Dip. 133 00:06:19,515 --> 00:06:20,399 I love that. 134 00:06:25,321 --> 00:06:28,239 What is that heavenly aroma coming from the kitchen? 135 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,240 Dinner. 136 00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:31,242 Oh, yes, of course, dinner. 137 00:06:31,243 --> 00:06:33,244 Well, I'm sorry I'm late, by the way. I got... 138 00:06:33,245 --> 00:06:34,746 No explanation is necessary. 139 00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:36,748 I know you far too well to have expected you 140 00:06:36,749 --> 00:06:37,749 to be on time tonight. 141 00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:38,750 Oh, right. 142 00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:40,869 Why is that? 143 00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:42,170 Because I've learned that 144 00:06:42,171 --> 00:06:43,671 a certain self-centered insensitivity 145 00:06:43,672 --> 00:06:46,174 is a fundamental part of your psychological makeup. 146 00:06:46,175 --> 00:06:48,177 And it only endears you to me. 147 00:06:50,179 --> 00:06:52,181 I'm so glad you shared that with me. 148 00:06:53,682 --> 00:06:56,684 Of course you can't know everything about me. 149 00:06:56,685 --> 00:06:58,686 I mean, who would have thought that I'd enjoy living with you, 150 00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:00,688 but here we are. 151 00:07:00,689 --> 00:07:02,690 You didn't expect to enjoy living with me? 152 00:07:02,691 --> 00:07:04,692 Well, you do have a... 153 00:07:04,693 --> 00:07:06,194 uncompromising quality. 154 00:07:06,195 --> 00:07:07,196 Mm. 155 00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:09,697 A very attractive one it is, though. 156 00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:11,699 Well, if you were hesitant, why do it? 157 00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:14,202 That's the way you arranged it, isn't it? 158 00:07:14,203 --> 00:07:15,703 It was your idea. 159 00:07:15,704 --> 00:07:16,955 Ah, yes, well, 160 00:07:16,956 --> 00:07:18,239 you see, you're forgetting the, uh, 161 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,742 passive-aggressive trick you have of leading someone else 162 00:07:20,743 --> 00:07:22,243 into doing something that you want to do, 163 00:07:22,244 --> 00:07:23,495 thereby absolving yourself 164 00:07:23,496 --> 00:07:24,797 of responsibility. 165 00:07:25,297 --> 00:07:27,800 And very adorable it is, too, my little parsnip. 166 00:07:31,303 --> 00:07:34,806 Why do you insist on displaying your magazines 167 00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:37,059 in that insipid accordion design? 168 00:07:41,814 --> 00:07:44,315 I'm sorry if this one little touch of theatrical flair 169 00:07:44,316 --> 00:07:46,318 is too much for your retentive nature. 170 00:07:47,686 --> 00:07:50,188 We'll go into my retentive nature later. 171 00:07:50,189 --> 00:07:51,573 For now, we have guests coming. 172 00:07:51,574 --> 00:07:53,074 You know, I see what you're trying to do here. 173 00:07:53,075 --> 00:07:54,576 You want me to begin the argument that you wish 174 00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:56,077 you could start yourself. 175 00:07:56,078 --> 00:07:57,078 Well, I will not do it. 176 00:07:57,079 --> 00:07:59,581 If you want to have an altercation, you will have to... 177 00:07:59,582 --> 00:08:01,449 How could you be late on a night like this?! 178 00:08:01,450 --> 00:08:03,918 Didn't you know I'd be nervous making my first dinner 179 00:08:03,919 --> 00:08:06,421 in your house while your stupid friends are looking at me 180 00:08:06,422 --> 00:08:07,672 and judging my every move? 181 00:08:07,673 --> 00:08:10,008 I'll never forgive you for this! 182 00:08:10,009 --> 00:08:12,261 Never, never, never, never! 183 00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:19,767 Just a minute! 184 00:08:19,768 --> 00:08:22,271 Darling, I think that was a real breakthrough. 185 00:08:24,273 --> 00:08:26,774 So come out of the bathroom, and after dinner, 186 00:08:26,775 --> 00:08:28,276 we'll build on it. 187 00:08:28,277 --> 00:08:30,778 But, our-our guests are here now. 188 00:08:30,779 --> 00:08:31,780 Dear heart? 189 00:08:32,781 --> 00:08:34,282 Darling. 190 00:08:34,283 --> 00:08:37,286 Coming! Coming! 191 00:08:42,491 --> 00:08:44,993 Hi! Come in, come in! 192 00:08:44,994 --> 00:08:45,994 I hope we're not early. 193 00:08:45,995 --> 00:08:48,496 Oh, no, no, no, your timing is just perfect. 194 00:08:48,497 --> 00:08:49,497 Oh. 195 00:08:49,498 --> 00:08:51,466 Boy, am I hungry. 196 00:08:51,467 --> 00:08:52,467 Sam. 197 00:08:52,468 --> 00:08:53,468 Well, I am. 198 00:08:53,469 --> 00:08:56,471 So, where's your lovely POSSLQ? 199 00:08:56,472 --> 00:08:58,973 Oh, she's around somewhere. 200 00:08:58,974 --> 00:09:00,426 Peach blossom? 201 00:09:01,927 --> 00:09:03,428 Don't make yourself too beautiful. 202 00:09:03,429 --> 00:09:05,431 I can hardly stand to look at you now. 203 00:09:09,435 --> 00:09:12,437 Come on... please come out, darling. 204 00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:13,938 Please. 205 00:09:13,939 --> 00:09:15,440 What was that? 206 00:09:15,441 --> 00:09:16,941 Oh, uh... 207 00:09:16,942 --> 00:09:18,826 got something stuck in her contact lens. 208 00:09:18,827 --> 00:09:20,245 Oh, I hate that. Yeah. 209 00:09:20,246 --> 00:09:22,113 Li-Listen, here, come sit down, relax. 210 00:09:22,114 --> 00:09:23,915 Uh, pour yourself some wine, whatever. 211 00:09:23,916 --> 00:09:25,917 Just, uh, make yourselves comfortable. 212 00:09:25,918 --> 00:09:28,238 Oh, oh, Diane, could you hand me that cheese knife, please? 213 00:09:30,956 --> 00:09:31,956 Thank you. 214 00:09:31,957 --> 00:09:34,460 Uh, enjoy. I'll be right back. 215 00:09:42,801 --> 00:09:46,804 What do you think you're doing?! 216 00:09:46,805 --> 00:09:48,940 Might I have a little privacy? 217 00:09:48,941 --> 00:09:50,225 We can resolve all this later, 218 00:09:50,226 --> 00:09:52,727 but for now, these people may be my friends, but they are not 219 00:09:52,728 --> 00:09:54,729 the greatest conversationalists in the world, 220 00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:56,065 and I could use your help. 221 00:09:59,368 --> 00:10:01,370 Good chips. 222 00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:06,491 Lilith. Ah. 223 00:10:06,492 --> 00:10:08,744 Welcome to our home. 224 00:10:12,081 --> 00:10:14,966 I am so happy for the both of you. 225 00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:16,301 Yeah, absolutely. Congratulations. 226 00:10:16,302 --> 00:10:17,803 Yeah, that's great. 227 00:10:28,013 --> 00:10:30,014 Love what you've done with this place, man. 228 00:10:30,015 --> 00:10:31,266 Oh, yes, I love 229 00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:33,067 the masculine touches. 230 00:10:33,068 --> 00:10:35,237 Thank you. 231 00:10:40,993 --> 00:10:43,361 Say, that, uh, that dip looks good. 232 00:10:43,362 --> 00:10:44,663 Mmm. 233 00:10:46,999 --> 00:10:48,750 Dip? 234 00:10:48,751 --> 00:10:50,585 Yeah, the, uh, the dip. 235 00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:52,086 Could you, uh, pass it, please? 236 00:10:52,087 --> 00:10:54,455 Yes, of course. 237 00:10:54,456 --> 00:10:56,708 Be my guest. Here you are. 238 00:10:56,709 --> 00:10:58,210 Oh, thank you. 239 00:11:00,713 --> 00:11:02,630 Oh... 240 00:11:02,631 --> 00:11:04,349 Oh, yeah, that is great dip. 241 00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:05,767 Mmm, here. Yeah, try it. 242 00:11:05,768 --> 00:11:07,635 Mmm, delicious, Lilith. 243 00:11:07,636 --> 00:11:10,022 Frasier, have you tried some of Lilith's dip? 244 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:17,313 Yes, I-I have, yes. 245 00:11:20,366 --> 00:11:23,368 Well, then I don't have to tell you how good it is. 246 00:11:23,369 --> 00:11:24,736 Mmm. 247 00:11:24,737 --> 00:11:26,238 It's quite good. 248 00:11:27,762 --> 00:11:29,123 Well, I don't mean to hog it here. 249 00:11:29,124 --> 00:11:30,625 Uh, you guys look hungry. 250 00:11:30,626 --> 00:11:31,627 He-Help yourself. 251 00:11:46,058 --> 00:11:48,393 So, Frasier, 252 00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:51,063 was it good for you, too? 253 00:11:58,187 --> 00:12:00,189 What the hell's in this dip? 254 00:12:04,693 --> 00:12:07,695 Well... 255 00:12:07,696 --> 00:12:10,198 may I propose a toast? 256 00:12:10,199 --> 00:12:11,699 Mmm! 257 00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,701 To your house. 258 00:12:13,702 --> 00:12:14,702 Our house. 259 00:12:14,703 --> 00:12:15,586 Hear, hear. 260 00:12:15,587 --> 00:12:17,038 Yes. 261 00:12:17,039 --> 00:12:19,040 ? Our house? 262 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,541 Oh, I love that. 263 00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:23,044 ? Is a very, very, very fine house? 264 00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:25,046 ? With two cats in the yard? 265 00:12:25,047 --> 00:12:28,049 ? Life used to be so hard? 266 00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:33,438 ? Now everything is easy 'cause of you? 267 00:12:33,439 --> 00:12:35,723 ? And our...? 268 00:12:35,724 --> 00:12:37,725 ? Our house? 269 00:12:37,726 --> 00:12:40,728 ? Is a very, very, very fine house? 270 00:12:40,729 --> 00:12:43,398 ? With two cats in the yard? 271 00:12:43,399 --> 00:12:44,982 ? Life used to be so hard? 272 00:12:44,983 --> 00:12:47,152 ? Now...? Et cetera, et cetera. 273 00:12:51,407 --> 00:12:54,292 You know what I love about your relationship? 274 00:12:54,293 --> 00:12:56,295 No. 275 00:12:57,296 --> 00:13:02,300 You never seem to have an unexpressed thought. 276 00:13:02,301 --> 00:13:03,669 I've noticed that. 277 00:13:05,053 --> 00:13:08,723 How do you maintain that level of honesty? 278 00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:10,091 Well, it's simple. 279 00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:12,977 Frasier and I keep no secrets from each other. 280 00:13:12,978 --> 00:13:14,145 Oh, come on. 281 00:13:14,146 --> 00:13:15,146 You don't mean to tell me 282 00:13:15,191 --> 00:13:16,431 you tell each other everything. 283 00:13:16,432 --> 00:13:17,433 Certainly. Exactly. 284 00:13:17,933 --> 00:13:19,817 We've bared our souls to each other. 285 00:13:19,818 --> 00:13:22,153 Oh, now no guy's going to tell his brand-new girlfriend 286 00:13:22,154 --> 00:13:23,154 about all the women he... 287 00:13:23,155 --> 00:13:26,407 You know. 288 00:13:26,408 --> 00:13:28,693 Oh, but there must be no secrets in that area. 289 00:13:28,694 --> 00:13:31,196 That's where honesty counts most. 290 00:13:31,616 --> 00:13:32,697 Gee, you know, I-I'm afraid 291 00:13:32,698 --> 00:13:34,198 I don't think that's such a good idea. 292 00:13:34,199 --> 00:13:36,617 You mean the two of you, planning marriage, 293 00:13:36,618 --> 00:13:38,619 haven't already had this discussion? 294 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:39,621 Of course we have. 295 00:13:40,122 --> 00:13:41,123 Well, Diane's told us about both of hers, 296 00:13:41,623 --> 00:13:44,126 and we're just about up to the Johnson Administration on mine. 297 00:13:47,596 --> 00:13:49,931 Uh, seriously, though, um, 298 00:13:49,932 --> 00:13:54,936 I-I think that we're all entitled to our little secrets. 299 00:13:54,937 --> 00:13:55,937 Why? 300 00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:57,438 They only lead to embarrassment 301 00:13:57,439 --> 00:13:59,440 when they're inevitably revealed. 302 00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:00,808 Exactly. 303 00:14:00,809 --> 00:14:02,310 I know I feel better 304 00:14:02,311 --> 00:14:04,312 knowing that Frasier has told you 305 00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:05,696 he and I were once engaged, 306 00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:07,031 so I don't have to worry 307 00:14:07,032 --> 00:14:11,453 about you discovering it at some inopportune moment. 308 00:14:19,161 --> 00:14:21,663 Like now, for instance. 309 00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:37,345 Dear... 310 00:14:37,346 --> 00:14:40,348 dear, I thought I told you that Diane and I used to date. 311 00:14:40,349 --> 00:14:41,849 Date, yes. 312 00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:43,351 That you had decided to marry 313 00:14:43,352 --> 00:14:45,353 and spend the rest of your life with her, no. 314 00:14:45,354 --> 00:14:47,738 Semantics. 315 00:14:47,739 --> 00:14:49,991 And why were you afraid to tell me that one detail? 316 00:14:49,992 --> 00:14:50,992 Because she still means 317 00:14:50,993 --> 00:14:52,493 something to you, doesn't she? 318 00:14:52,494 --> 00:14:53,995 She means absolutely nothing to me. 319 00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:56,497 I mean, if I notice her at all, it's merely as an annoyance, 320 00:14:56,498 --> 00:14:58,866 like a bug flying around in a room. 321 00:14:58,867 --> 00:15:00,835 Diane, Diane, be a dear. 322 00:15:00,836 --> 00:15:03,337 Would you grab me the cheese knife, please? 323 00:15:03,338 --> 00:15:05,623 Frasier, 324 00:15:05,624 --> 00:15:07,008 I'm sorry this happened, 325 00:15:07,009 --> 00:15:10,011 but I think it would be best for everyone 326 00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:11,879 if you told her the truth. 327 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,715 Diane's right. 328 00:15:20,973 --> 00:15:21,974 All right, all right. 329 00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:24,475 Darling, I'm going to tell you 330 00:15:24,476 --> 00:15:26,478 the whole truth. 331 00:15:36,371 --> 00:15:39,874 Out with it. 332 00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:43,377 All right, uh, 333 00:15:43,378 --> 00:15:47,882 Diane and I were engaged to be married and... 334 00:15:47,883 --> 00:15:50,385 she left me at the altar. 335 00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:55,723 The whole experience was so... humiliating, 336 00:15:55,724 --> 00:15:59,727 I-I-I've just been trying to forget it ever since. 337 00:15:59,728 --> 00:16:02,681 Your feelings for her were genuine? 338 00:16:03,148 --> 00:16:05,066 Yes. 339 00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:07,318 And it's only on account of her action 340 00:16:07,319 --> 00:16:09,320 that you're not married to her 341 00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:10,738 at this very moment? 342 00:16:10,739 --> 00:16:13,240 Well, I-I never really looked at it that way. 343 00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:14,742 And if Sam were out of the picture, 344 00:16:14,743 --> 00:16:16,243 you'd throw me over and run back to her, wouldn't you? 345 00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:17,244 I don't love her anymore. 346 00:16:17,245 --> 00:16:18,245 You switch your passions 347 00:16:18,246 --> 00:16:19,747 on and off very quickly, Dr. Crane. 348 00:16:19,748 --> 00:16:20,248 I do not! 349 00:16:20,249 --> 00:16:21,749 Then you do still love her! 350 00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:22,617 Well, I never did! 351 00:16:22,618 --> 00:16:23,918 You were going to marry her! 352 00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:25,419 Well, maybe I just thought I loved her! 353 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:27,421 How do I know you don't just think you love me? 354 00:16:27,422 --> 00:16:28,423 Well, I don't. 355 00:16:28,603 --> 00:16:29,924 I mean, I-I didn't... I-I never... 356 00:16:29,925 --> 00:16:33,428 I will not be grilled like a common criminal! 357 00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:42,471 Cheese knife? 358 00:16:46,975 --> 00:16:50,978 All right, thank you very much. Bye. 359 00:16:50,979 --> 00:16:52,980 Ordering another round for the corner table, honey. 360 00:16:52,981 --> 00:16:54,482 All right, Corinne. 361 00:16:54,483 --> 00:16:56,867 Now listen, uh, thanks a lot for subbin' on such short notice. 362 00:16:56,868 --> 00:16:58,620 Hey, this is my life. 363 00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:01,622 It shouldn't, uh, it shouldn't be so bad. 364 00:17:01,623 --> 00:17:03,624 You know, it's not really very crowded tonight. 365 00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:05,126 That's what you said the last time. 366 00:17:05,127 --> 00:17:06,627 When I got home, 367 00:17:06,628 --> 00:17:09,131 my can was dragging this far off the ground. 368 00:17:10,132 --> 00:17:14,636 Thanks for sharing that with us, Corinne. 369 00:17:16,505 --> 00:17:17,922 Well, that was Carla's daughter. 370 00:17:17,923 --> 00:17:19,423 She said that, uh, the kids 371 00:17:19,424 --> 00:17:21,425 are going to drop off Mr. Clavin. 372 00:17:21,426 --> 00:17:23,928 All right. All right. 373 00:17:23,929 --> 00:17:26,932 I don't think her kids are old enough to drive. 374 00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:30,435 What was that? 375 00:17:35,273 --> 00:17:37,274 Cliff! Cliff! 376 00:17:37,275 --> 00:17:39,277 Cliff, Cliff buddy, are you all right? 377 00:17:45,283 --> 00:17:46,284 Wait, there's a note. 378 00:17:47,786 --> 00:17:49,787 "Don't open until Christmas." 379 00:17:49,788 --> 00:17:51,289 Aw, shoot. 380 00:17:56,128 --> 00:17:58,429 Now look here, Lilith, you needn't worry 381 00:17:58,430 --> 00:18:01,298 about Frasier carrying a torch for me. 382 00:18:01,299 --> 00:18:03,217 I assure you 383 00:18:03,218 --> 00:18:05,019 he feels nothing but resentment toward me. 384 00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,021 He knows I was using him 385 00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:10,891 to forget the real love I felt, and feel, 386 00:18:10,892 --> 00:18:12,226 for Sam here. 387 00:18:12,227 --> 00:18:15,230 Is there any more Chex Mix? 388 00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:20,736 You see, Sam is my real love. 389 00:18:21,903 --> 00:18:24,955 I'm ashamed to say that Frasier 390 00:18:24,956 --> 00:18:28,459 was a convenient dalliance on my part, 391 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:30,878 at a time when I needed someone, 392 00:18:30,879 --> 00:18:31,879 anyone. 393 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,881 I'm sorry it was him. 394 00:18:33,882 --> 00:18:36,884 So, essentially, Frasier was a toy 395 00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:40,387 you played with briefly and then threw away. 396 00:18:40,388 --> 00:18:43,390 Well, it wasn't that bad. 397 00:18:43,391 --> 00:18:44,892 A fellow human being, 398 00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:47,895 whose emotions you twisted for your own satisfaction, 399 00:18:47,896 --> 00:18:50,397 with no consideration for his feelings. 400 00:18:50,398 --> 00:18:52,900 Frasier had some fun. 401 00:18:52,901 --> 00:18:56,905 We would speak nothing but French on Sundays. 402 00:19:03,411 --> 00:19:07,414 I heard it all. 403 00:19:07,415 --> 00:19:09,417 How could I have been so blind? 404 00:19:09,918 --> 00:19:11,919 Don't blame yourself. 405 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,420 That's right. 406 00:19:13,421 --> 00:19:15,923 You can't blame anyone in these situations. 407 00:19:15,924 --> 00:19:17,292 He can blame you. 408 00:19:19,795 --> 00:19:22,296 Now look here. 409 00:19:22,297 --> 00:19:25,800 Our relationship was a two-way street. 410 00:19:25,801 --> 00:19:27,803 Yes, and I was run over in both directions. 411 00:19:30,222 --> 00:19:32,223 Oh, Frasier, you had fun. 412 00:19:32,224 --> 00:19:34,225 Diane, I never had a whit of fun, 413 00:19:34,226 --> 00:19:36,727 especially on Sundays. 414 00:19:36,728 --> 00:19:38,229 And the only thing more egregious 415 00:19:38,230 --> 00:19:40,232 than your French pronunciation is your syntax. 416 00:19:47,455 --> 00:19:48,956 Dinner, everyone. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 417 00:19:48,957 --> 00:19:50,207 Whoa, whoa, wait, wait. 418 00:19:50,208 --> 00:19:53,043 Come on, this whole thing has gone on too far here. 419 00:19:53,044 --> 00:19:55,045 Hey, listen up. 420 00:19:55,046 --> 00:19:58,549 This is what happens when you open old wounds. 421 00:19:58,550 --> 00:19:59,834 I mean, I don't know 422 00:19:59,835 --> 00:20:01,886 what happened between Frasier and Diane, 423 00:20:01,887 --> 00:20:03,888 but it seems to me they had a little fun, 424 00:20:03,889 --> 00:20:06,257 but they just weren't right for each other. 425 00:20:06,258 --> 00:20:08,175 But now that they've found somebody 426 00:20:08,176 --> 00:20:09,176 that, uh, is right for them, 427 00:20:09,177 --> 00:20:11,679 I-I think you both should be happy for each other. 428 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,682 And leave it at that. 429 00:20:18,069 --> 00:20:21,072 Oh. 430 00:20:24,075 --> 00:20:26,577 Je regrette, mes amis. 431 00:20:26,578 --> 00:20:27,578 I'm sorry, too, Diane. 432 00:20:27,579 --> 00:20:29,079 I don't know what came over me. 433 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,081 Diane, can you forgive me? 434 00:20:31,082 --> 00:20:33,584 Oh, I'm the one who's sorry. 435 00:20:33,585 --> 00:20:36,086 And happy for both of you. 436 00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:37,588 Thank you. 437 00:20:37,589 --> 00:20:39,089 And thank you, Sam. 438 00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:41,592 Yes. Mmm, well, I just thought it went on long enough. 439 00:20:41,593 --> 00:20:43,962 Besides, I-I have to use the bathroom here. 440 00:20:50,435 --> 00:20:52,353 Would anyone like some more lasagna? 441 00:20:52,354 --> 00:20:53,721 No, thank you. 442 00:20:53,722 --> 00:20:55,022 I think we've had our fill. 443 00:20:55,023 --> 00:20:58,025 Fine, then I'll just get the coffee. 444 00:20:58,026 --> 00:21:01,896 Lasagna? 445 00:21:01,897 --> 00:21:04,281 I wasn't even thinking Italian. 446 00:21:04,282 --> 00:21:06,200 Well, I was closest. 447 00:21:06,201 --> 00:21:08,702 I said something with meat. 448 00:21:08,703 --> 00:21:10,204 That will be all then, Jill. 449 00:21:10,205 --> 00:21:12,456 You can come by and clean up in the morning. 450 00:21:12,457 --> 00:21:13,875 Thank you, Dr. Sternin. 451 00:21:14,876 --> 00:21:17,378 You mean you had someone back there 452 00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:18,879 helping you with this? 453 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,381 With the side dishes, yes. 454 00:21:20,382 --> 00:21:22,883 But at the risk of sounding immodest, 455 00:21:22,884 --> 00:21:25,886 I have to take credit for the lasagna myself. 456 00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:27,304 Oh, well. 457 00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:29,307 Well, bravo. 458 00:21:31,209 --> 00:21:32,810 Well, shall we adjourn to the living room 459 00:21:32,811 --> 00:21:33,812 for some coffee? 460 00:21:34,312 --> 00:21:35,312 Nice. 461 00:21:35,313 --> 00:21:38,816 Oh, may I propose another toast? 462 00:21:38,817 --> 00:21:41,319 Why stop at seven? Hah. 463 00:21:43,822 --> 00:21:45,322 Well, 464 00:21:45,323 --> 00:21:48,826 we have all learned a valuable lesson this evening. 465 00:21:48,827 --> 00:21:51,328 We shouldn't be frightened of the past, 466 00:21:51,329 --> 00:21:52,830 or of any affairs 467 00:21:52,831 --> 00:21:54,699 our lovers have had. Indeed, 468 00:21:55,116 --> 00:21:58,118 we should be grateful for those past experiences 469 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:00,120 because they've made him or her 470 00:22:00,121 --> 00:22:01,622 the person we love today. 471 00:22:01,623 --> 00:22:03,624 Hear, hear. 472 00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:04,625 Well said. 473 00:22:04,626 --> 00:22:07,128 Oh, hey, let me, uh, fill some of these wine glasses here. 474 00:22:11,633 --> 00:22:13,017 Good night, Dr. Sternin. 475 00:22:13,018 --> 00:22:14,268 Good night. 476 00:22:14,269 --> 00:22:16,770 Oh, Sam Malone! 477 00:22:16,771 --> 00:22:19,139 Oh, you beautiful man! 478 00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:21,475 Where have you been keeping yourself? 479 00:22:21,476 --> 00:22:23,478 Hey, Jill, how the hell you been, huh? 480 00:22:23,979 --> 00:22:25,980 Great, just great. 481 00:22:25,981 --> 00:22:27,481 Well, you still doing massage? 482 00:22:27,482 --> 00:22:29,867 Just the way you like 'em. 483 00:22:29,868 --> 00:22:31,735 Who is this, Sam? 484 00:22:31,736 --> 00:22:33,704 Uh, you know, it's gettin' kinda late. 485 00:22:33,705 --> 00:22:35,205 Maybe you oughta take off. 486 00:22:35,206 --> 00:22:37,207 Bye-bye. 487 00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:38,709 Huh! 488 00:22:38,710 --> 00:22:41,712 Why is it 489 00:22:41,713 --> 00:22:46,216 that we cannot go to one, single, solitary place 490 00:22:46,217 --> 00:22:48,719 in the entire city of Boston 491 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,722 without running into some woman that you've had a fling with? 492 00:22:51,723 --> 00:22:53,724 Oh, come on, you're exaggerating here. 493 00:22:53,725 --> 00:22:55,225 Mm-hmm. At the market, at the movies, 494 00:22:55,226 --> 00:23:00,230 when we got our blood test, for heaven's sake. 495 00:23:00,231 --> 00:23:01,732 Well, what're we supposed to do, move? 496 00:23:01,733 --> 00:23:03,734 I mean, come on. 497 00:23:03,735 --> 00:23:05,102 Excuse me. 498 00:23:05,103 --> 00:23:09,073 Oh, now, don't, no, don't-don't go... 499 00:23:09,074 --> 00:23:10,941 What-what're you so upset about? 500 00:23:10,942 --> 00:23:13,445 I wasn't even dating you when I went out with Jill. 501 00:23:13,945 --> 00:23:15,947 That's when you were living with Frasier. 502 00:23:16,948 --> 00:23:19,250 She lived with you? 503 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:24,004 Well, only briefly. Uh... 504 00:23:24,005 --> 00:23:26,757 You said you'd never lived with anyone but me! 505 00:23:26,758 --> 00:23:29,761 Yeah, open... that's right. 506 00:23:33,264 --> 00:23:35,265 What are you doing? 507 00:23:35,266 --> 00:23:37,268 I should have thought of this earlier. 508 00:23:39,771 --> 00:23:41,772 Yeah. 509 00:23:41,773 --> 00:23:44,274 What was that? 510 00:23:44,275 --> 00:23:46,277 Frasier, what are you doing? 511 00:23:47,779 --> 00:23:49,780 Frasier, the door seems to be jammed. 512 00:23:49,781 --> 00:23:51,281 Frasier? 513 00:23:51,282 --> 00:23:53,784 Sam, open the door. 514 00:23:53,785 --> 00:23:54,785 Macanudo? 515 00:23:54,786 --> 00:23:56,286 Oh! 516 00:23:56,287 --> 00:23:57,788 Frasier! Don't mind if I do. 517 00:23:57,789 --> 00:23:58,790 Thank you. Open the door. 518 00:23:58,890 --> 00:24:00,290 You know, I don't think I can stand 519 00:24:00,291 --> 00:24:01,291 this caterwauling in here. 520 00:24:01,292 --> 00:24:02,793 Why don't we go upstairs. 521 00:24:02,794 --> 00:24:05,662 I've got all 13 episodes of I, Claudius on tape. 522 00:24:05,663 --> 00:24:07,966 Great. Man, I love gladiator flicks. 523 00:24:10,335 --> 00:24:13,171 Frasier, we are not amused!