1
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,311
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

2
00:00:04,312 --> 00:00:06,614
Well, I'm off, Sam.

3
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:08,616
Sixth row center

4
00:00:08,617 --> 00:00:10,117
for the Royal Shakespeare Company.

5
00:00:10,118 --> 00:00:11,619
I still have the extra ticket

6
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:14,622
if you happened to
have changed your mind.

7
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,123
I-I just don't like that stuff.

8
00:00:16,124 --> 00:00:18,125
All those guys jumping around

9
00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:20,128
stabbing each other
in their leotards. I...

10
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,630
I'm sorry.

11
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:23,631
Come on.

12
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,132
I don't want to go alone.

13
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:26,133
I-I know. I know.

14
00:00:26,134 --> 00:00:27,134
Did I hear right?

15
00:00:27,135 --> 00:00:28,636
You're leaving early?

16
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:30,137
I'm going to a play.

17
00:00:30,138 --> 00:00:33,642
Fine. I'll just stay here,
work my butt to the bone,

18
00:00:34,142 --> 00:00:37,144
while the boss's fiancée
takes another day off.

19
00:00:37,145 --> 00:00:38,646
Hey, come on. We're
not that busy around here.

20
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,147
What're you doing?

21
00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:42,149
As a matter of fact, why don't...

22
00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,652
why don't you go to the play with Diane?

23
00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:45,520
Ha.

24
00:00:47,272 --> 00:00:48,772
How about it, Carla?

25
00:00:48,773 --> 00:00:51,158
We rarely do things together.

26
00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,828
We never do things together.

27
00:00:53,829 --> 00:00:55,279
It'll be fun.

28
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:58,782
It'll broaden your horizons.

29
00:00:58,783 --> 00:00:59,823
You... what're you saying?

30
00:00:59,845 --> 00:01:01,285
I-I'm going to get the afternoon off

31
00:01:01,286 --> 00:01:04,288
if I go to the play with Bleachbag?

32
00:01:04,289 --> 00:01:06,790
Only if you go to the
play with Bleachbag.

33
00:01:06,791 --> 00:01:07,591
It's a deal.

34
00:01:07,592 --> 00:01:10,010
I'm so excited.

35
00:01:10,011 --> 00:01:12,463
I've been waiting months for
this production to arrive.

36
00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:13,848
Sounds good.

37
00:01:13,849 --> 00:01:15,599
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

38
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,802
I'll bring the pork
rinds, you bring the beer.

39
00:01:18,887 --> 00:01:21,723
We'll make spit wads
out of the programs.

40
00:01:22,607 --> 00:01:25,944
Take this. Follow her. Enjoy.

41
00:01:26,945 --> 00:01:29,447
Hey, honey, wait up.

42
00:01:36,204 --> 00:01:38,455
♪ Making your way in the world today ♪

43
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:41,458
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪

44
00:01:41,459 --> 00:01:44,461
♪ Taking a break from all your worries ♪

45
00:01:44,462 --> 00:01:47,464
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪

46
00:01:47,465 --> 00:01:53,220
♪ Wouldn't you like to get away♪ ♪

47
00:01:53,221 --> 00:01:56,006
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪

48
00:01:56,007 --> 00:02:01,011
♪ Where everybody knows your name ♪

49
00:02:01,012 --> 00:02:06,016
♪ And they're always glad you came ♪

50
00:02:06,017 --> 00:02:08,018
♪ You want to be where you can see ♪

51
00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:11,021
♪ Our troubles are all the same ♪

52
00:02:11,022 --> 00:02:16,026
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪

53
00:02:16,027 --> 00:02:19,029
♪ You want to go where people know ♪

54
00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:21,032
♪ People are all the same ♪

55
00:02:21,533 --> 00:02:26,037
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪

56
00:02:42,854 --> 00:02:45,306
Greetings, everyone.

57
00:02:45,307 --> 00:02:47,308
Hey, Doctor.

58
00:02:47,309 --> 00:02:48,809
A beer, stout yeoman.

59
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,194
Boy, you're in a good mood, Dr. Crane.

60
00:02:50,195 --> 00:02:51,562
And why shouldn't I be?

61
00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:52,563
Next week marks the anniversary

62
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:54,565
of the day my beloved
Lilith and I first met.

63
00:02:54,566 --> 00:02:55,783
No kiddin'?

64
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,067
Yeah. As a show of my affection,

65
00:02:57,068 --> 00:02:59,069
I bought her a Louis Quatorze armoire

66
00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:02,239
at a little antique shop
I saw on the Hill today.

67
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:03,741
It set me back quite a penny.

68
00:03:03,742 --> 00:03:05,743
You know, I think when you're trying

69
00:03:05,744 --> 00:03:07,745
to express your affection for your mate,

70
00:03:07,746 --> 00:03:09,246
old wood says it best.

71
00:03:09,247 --> 00:03:11,216
What do I say?

72
00:03:12,217 --> 00:03:14,218
I was talking about the armoire.

73
00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:15,719
I never say that.

74
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,223
I don't even know what an armoire is.

75
00:03:19,224 --> 00:03:21,725
It's a large chest.

76
00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:24,229
Well, hey, what woman
wouldn't want that?

77
00:03:27,732 --> 00:03:29,733
So, uh, what's Lilith
getting you there, Doc?

78
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:31,235
A set of golf clubs. Eh.

79
00:03:31,236 --> 00:03:32,236
Although she doesn't know it yet.

80
00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,604
Well, how can you be so sure?

81
00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:35,522
Well, I've left a lot of
clues around the house.

82
00:03:35,523 --> 00:03:37,024
You'd have to be an idiot
not to know what I want.

83
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:38,526
And what's that, Dr. Crane?

84
00:03:42,163 --> 00:03:44,164
I-I haven't decided yet, Wood.

85
00:03:44,165 --> 00:03:45,666
Ah.

86
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:48,168
So, uh...

87
00:03:48,169 --> 00:03:51,672
eh, Doc, I didn't know
you were a fellow linkster.

88
00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:54,174
You know, uh, someday, when
you feel you're good enough,

89
00:03:54,175 --> 00:03:57,678
I'll, uh, take you down
to my private country club

90
00:03:57,679 --> 00:04:00,047
for a little, uh, mano a mano.

91
00:04:00,048 --> 00:04:02,216
Eh, Normie, remember I took you down?

92
00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:03,684
I had a great time.

93
00:04:03,685 --> 00:04:06,187
I got, uh, three holes in one,
and I birdied the windmill.

94
00:04:09,057 --> 00:04:11,892
Hey, barkeep, I hear you pour

95
00:04:11,893 --> 00:04:13,310
a mean root beer in this saloon.

96
00:04:13,311 --> 00:04:14,813
Joyce?

97
00:04:15,697 --> 00:04:18,115
Oh, my God. Joyce.

98
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,067
Hi. Surprise. Oh. Ha.

99
00:04:20,068 --> 00:04:21,568
Boy, look at you.

100
00:04:21,569 --> 00:04:23,571
It's been ages, you know that? Yeah.

101
00:04:24,072 --> 00:04:25,072
Hey, everybody,

102
00:04:25,073 --> 00:04:28,042
this is Coach's niece, Joyce Pantusso.

103
00:04:28,043 --> 00:04:29,543
Nice to meet you.

104
00:04:29,544 --> 00:04:30,544
Look at you.

105
00:04:30,545 --> 00:04:32,046
It's so good to see you.

106
00:04:32,047 --> 00:04:35,549
Oh, we couldn't be more
thrilled to have you here.

107
00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:36,800
Who are you?

108
00:04:36,801 --> 00:04:38,135
Oh, I'm sorry.

109
00:04:38,136 --> 00:04:39,887
Diane Chambers,

110
00:04:39,888 --> 00:04:41,221
Sam's fiancée. Oh.

111
00:04:41,222 --> 00:04:43,223
I'm sure he must've mentioned me.

112
00:04:43,224 --> 00:04:46,226
Oh, no.

113
00:04:46,227 --> 00:04:48,729
Well, it must have been an oversight.

114
00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:50,230
Anyway, it's so nice.

115
00:04:50,231 --> 00:04:51,598
We finally get to meet.

116
00:04:51,599 --> 00:04:52,851
We've all got goose bumps.

117
00:04:54,853 --> 00:04:56,353
Sit down here.

118
00:04:56,354 --> 00:04:57,754
Let me get you a soda or something.

119
00:04:57,856 --> 00:04:58,856
Oh, I'll get it. I'll get it.

120
00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:00,357
All right. Thanks, thanks.

121
00:05:00,358 --> 00:05:02,359
Why didn't you tell me
you were coming to Boston?

122
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,862
Well, I wanted to surprise you.

123
00:05:04,863 --> 00:05:07,865
I start college at BU
in the spring quarter.

124
00:05:07,866 --> 00:05:09,249
Oh, my God.

125
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,085
A Pantusso attending college. Yeah.

126
00:05:11,086 --> 00:05:15,089
A Pantusso pronouncing college.

127
00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:17,091
Yeah, yeah, my mom and
dad are really proud.

128
00:05:17,092 --> 00:05:18,092
Oh, I'll bet.

129
00:05:18,093 --> 00:05:20,594
Tell me, how-how-how's
everybody at Reedsport?

130
00:05:20,595 --> 00:05:22,596
Well, um, the family's fine.

131
00:05:22,597 --> 00:05:25,048
Would you believe the twins
are starting high school.

132
00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,049
No kidding.

133
00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:28,052
Who are the twins?

134
00:05:30,054 --> 00:05:32,940
Mom's calligraphy business
is, uh, doing well. Yeah?

135
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,692
Well, what about that
nutty wild man dad of yours?

136
00:05:35,693 --> 00:05:37,194
Oh, God, Coach's baby brother.

137
00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:38,195
I mean, you never knew

138
00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:39,363
what he was going to do next.

139
00:05:39,364 --> 00:05:41,698
Oh, he threw his back out vacuuming.

140
00:05:41,699 --> 00:05:43,067
What a nut, huh?

141
00:05:46,538 --> 00:05:47,788
Oh, you know what? He asked me

142
00:05:47,789 --> 00:05:49,289
to give you something. There you go.

143
00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:50,290
Sam.

144
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:51,658
Beer distributor on the phone.

145
00:05:51,659 --> 00:05:53,043
Tell him I'll call back, please.

146
00:05:53,044 --> 00:05:54,294
Sammy, hey, hey.

147
00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:56,464
Where are your priorities? Come on.

148
00:05:59,417 --> 00:06:00,668
I'll be right back.

149
00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:04,806
So where is Reedsport?

150
00:06:05,306 --> 00:06:08,175
Oh, it's in Oregon, about
50 miles west of Eugene.

151
00:06:08,176 --> 00:06:10,477
Well! A left coaster, huh?

152
00:06:10,478 --> 00:06:11,228
Yeah.

153
00:06:11,229 --> 00:06:12,513
You know, uh,

154
00:06:12,514 --> 00:06:15,015
recent medical studies
have shown that, uh,

155
00:06:15,016 --> 00:06:17,518
time zone transference, aka jet lag,

156
00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:18,519
not only can be very upsetting

157
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,020
to one's metabolism,

158
00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:23,023
but, uh, also directly
correlates to the, uh,

159
00:06:23,024 --> 00:06:25,026
loss of, uh, hair follicles.

160
00:06:26,027 --> 00:06:27,911
Are you a doctor?

161
00:06:27,912 --> 00:06:30,832
No, he's a floon.

162
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:33,834
Who is that?

163
00:06:33,835 --> 00:06:36,337
Nobody knows.

164
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:43,260
So, any last minute
fatherly pearls of wisdom?

165
00:06:43,261 --> 00:06:45,128
Read for yourself.

166
00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:46,463
Mmm.

167
00:06:46,464 --> 00:06:49,850
"Dear Sam, would you mind
keeping an eye on my Joyce?

168
00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:51,685
"Coach always trusted you.

169
00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:53,187
"She's my little girl,

170
00:06:53,188 --> 00:06:55,138
"and she's all alone in the big city.

171
00:06:55,139 --> 00:06:57,107
"If anything ever happened to her,

172
00:06:57,108 --> 00:06:59,610
"I'd go into the shed
and blow my brains out.

173
00:06:59,611 --> 00:07:03,114
Phyllis says hi."

174
00:07:04,115 --> 00:07:06,117
He writes a nice letter.

175
00:07:11,122 --> 00:07:14,124
Well, that certainly
puts the pressure on me.

176
00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:16,126
You?!

177
00:07:16,127 --> 00:07:17,628
Well, yes.

178
00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:19,630
What do you know about taking care of

179
00:07:19,631 --> 00:07:22,132
an 18-year-old in
the city of Boston?

180
00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:24,635
A young girl away from
home needs a big sister.

181
00:07:24,636 --> 00:07:27,137
Listen, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,

182
00:07:27,138 --> 00:07:28,640
but she's my responsibility,

183
00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:31,141
and I am perfectly
capable of handling it.

184
00:07:31,142 --> 00:07:33,644
You know, kids are a lot different

185
00:07:33,645 --> 00:07:35,646
than when we were young.

186
00:07:35,647 --> 00:07:37,147
I mean, today they're smart.

187
00:07:37,148 --> 00:07:40,150
You gotta give 'em a lot of
room to make their own mistakes.

188
00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:42,019
Yeah, so I hear you're
from out of town. Yeah.

189
00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:44,354
Hey, hey, hey, what-what're
you doing there?

190
00:07:44,355 --> 00:07:47,858
I'm just making some
polite conversation.

191
00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:48,859
Yeah, well, buddy, this is a bar.

192
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:50,861
You want to make polite conversation,

193
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:51,862
you take it outside.

194
00:07:51,863 --> 00:07:54,364
Whatever you say.

195
00:07:54,365 --> 00:07:55,866
Do you believe that?

196
00:07:55,867 --> 00:07:56,867
Sam, that wasn't necessary.

197
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,368
I'm not a little girl.

198
00:07:58,369 --> 00:07:59,870
Forget about it. Come on. Come on.

199
00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:02,372
Get up here and sit up on
my bar here and, uh, tell me.

200
00:08:02,373 --> 00:08:03,373
Well, are you all, uh,

201
00:08:03,374 --> 00:08:04,875
you all checked in at college, huh?

202
00:08:04,876 --> 00:08:06,376
Well, uh, not really.

203
00:08:06,377 --> 00:08:08,378
The... my dorm is
having plumbing troubles,

204
00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:11,265
and I have no place to stay.

205
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:12,716
Well, that's not a problem.

206
00:08:12,717 --> 00:08:14,217
You can stay with me.

207
00:08:14,218 --> 00:08:15,658
I just have to pick up a few things.

208
00:08:16,137 --> 00:08:18,138
A bottle of juice, a loaf of bread.

209
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:20,141
A door for the bathroom.

210
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,062
My, God, yeah.

211
00:08:25,063 --> 00:08:28,448
Joyce, the only logical place
for you to stay is with me.

212
00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:30,400
Oh.

213
00:08:30,401 --> 00:08:32,402
Coach was like a father to me.

214
00:08:32,403 --> 00:08:34,288
Well, I mean, if it's
no problem. Why not?

215
00:08:34,289 --> 00:08:35,155
None at all.

216
00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:36,156
We'll have fun.

217
00:08:36,157 --> 00:08:38,158
It'll be one long slumber party.

218
00:08:38,159 --> 00:08:39,409
Oh, goody.

219
00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:42,246
Can I come over and bring
my Frankie Avalon records?

220
00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:45,749
I have dibs on cutting off her hair

221
00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:47,752
when she goes to sleep.

222
00:08:48,753 --> 00:08:51,254
Yeah, and if we can get
our hands on a laser,

223
00:08:51,255 --> 00:08:52,639
we'll try cutting Carla's.

224
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,424
Listen, uh,

225
00:08:54,425 --> 00:08:57,260
it'll be a little while
before I can get off.

226
00:08:57,261 --> 00:08:58,645
You know what?

227
00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:00,430
Since this is your first day in Boston,

228
00:09:00,431 --> 00:09:02,316
I bet you'd love to
see some of the sights.

229
00:09:02,317 --> 00:09:03,600
Well, yes, I would.

230
00:09:03,601 --> 00:09:05,102
Good. Yeah, uh,

231
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:06,103
it's a great idea,

232
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:07,988
but I can't get out of the bar today.

233
00:09:07,989 --> 00:09:09,823
Oh, Sammy, she can come on
my route with me, if you want.

234
00:09:09,824 --> 00:09:11,191
No, no. Uh...

235
00:09:11,192 --> 00:09:13,160
Sam?

236
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,661
Sam... What?

237
00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:16,663
No problem. We'll, uh, we'll just

238
00:09:16,664 --> 00:09:19,032
find someone else to
show her the sights.

239
00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:20,283
All right.

240
00:09:20,284 --> 00:09:21,284
Someone who's

241
00:09:21,285 --> 00:09:22,786
enthusiastic.

242
00:09:22,787 --> 00:09:25,288
Someone who's non threatening.

243
00:09:25,289 --> 00:09:26,708
That's good. That's good.

244
00:09:27,208 --> 00:09:28,709
Somebody, uh, trustworthy.

245
00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:30,211
Somebody, uh, innocent. Right.

246
00:09:30,712 --> 00:09:32,713
Hey, Sam, you remember that little bird

247
00:09:32,714 --> 00:09:33,715
whose wing I mended?

248
00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:37,718
Well, this morning, I was...

249
00:09:37,719 --> 00:09:38,719
Hey, do you mind?

250
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,000
I'm trying to think here, Woody.

251
00:09:40,221 --> 00:09:40,721
Sam...

252
00:09:44,225 --> 00:09:46,727
Oh, yeah, right.

253
00:09:46,728 --> 00:09:48,729
Well, hey, do you
mind? I'll handle this.

254
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:51,231
Woody, come here for
a second here, will ya?

255
00:09:51,232 --> 00:09:53,734
You know, I've been thinking
long and hard about this, Woody.

256
00:09:53,735 --> 00:09:56,237
Look, there's, uh, somebody
I want you to meet here.

257
00:09:56,738 --> 00:09:57,738
Come here.

258
00:09:57,739 --> 00:10:00,123
Joyce, Woody. Hi.

259
00:10:00,124 --> 00:10:00,991
Wow, what a coincidence.

260
00:10:00,992 --> 00:10:03,244
My first name is Woody.

261
00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:10,884
How would you like to take
the rest of the day off

262
00:10:10,885 --> 00:10:12,386
and show, uh, Joyce around the town?

263
00:10:12,387 --> 00:10:13,887
Oh, gee, I'd love to.

264
00:10:13,888 --> 00:10:15,889
Well, good. Take off. Go on.

265
00:10:15,890 --> 00:10:17,391
Okay, great.

266
00:10:17,392 --> 00:10:20,394
Uh, can we see Old Ironsides first?

267
00:10:20,395 --> 00:10:24,899
Well, I don't know if
Raymond Burr lives in Boston.

268
00:10:33,274 --> 00:10:34,692
Well, I'm off.

269
00:10:36,194 --> 00:10:38,695
Fore!

270
00:10:38,696 --> 00:10:40,197
Oh, you get those clubs yet, Fras?

271
00:10:40,198 --> 00:10:42,115
No, but it's just a matter of time.

272
00:10:42,116 --> 00:10:44,618
See, I placed brochures
strategically about the house

273
00:10:44,619 --> 00:10:45,619
for Lilith to notice.

274
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,120
One nestled under her pillow.

275
00:10:47,121 --> 00:10:48,121
One by the wine rack.

276
00:10:48,122 --> 00:10:50,041
One next to the whip locker.

277
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:56,513
Hey, Sammy, is Woody

278
00:10:56,514 --> 00:10:58,014
out with Joyce again today?

279
00:10:58,015 --> 00:11:00,884
Yeah. That makes every day this week.

280
00:11:00,885 --> 00:11:02,552
They are so cute together.

281
00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,887
You know where he's taking her now?

282
00:11:03,888 --> 00:11:05,388
They're going out for ice cream,

283
00:11:05,389 --> 00:11:06,890
and then they're going roller skating.

284
00:11:06,891 --> 00:11:08,391
Oh, those kiddleys, huh?

285
00:11:08,392 --> 00:11:10,894
Well, doesn't that just
remind you of your youth?

286
00:11:10,895 --> 00:11:11,779
Not one damn bit.

287
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,560
That's why I feel good about it.

288
00:11:14,565 --> 00:11:15,949
You know,

289
00:11:15,950 --> 00:11:17,901
I just think it's a stroke of genius

290
00:11:17,902 --> 00:11:19,903
that I had Woody squire
Joyce around town.

291
00:11:19,904 --> 00:11:22,405
I mean, she's safe, and
I have my peace of mind.

292
00:11:22,406 --> 00:11:24,407
Personally, I'm a little
worried about Joyce.

293
00:11:24,408 --> 00:11:26,409
She's been seeing an awful lot of Woody.

294
00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:27,911
So what?

295
00:11:27,912 --> 00:11:30,664
Do you know what time
she got in last night?

296
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:33,383
2:30.

297
00:11:33,384 --> 00:11:34,751
Who knows what they were up to?

298
00:11:34,752 --> 00:11:36,253
Oh, come on.

299
00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:37,754
We're talking about Woody.

300
00:11:37,755 --> 00:11:40,257
I mean, the guy is a, is
a walking Disney character

301
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:41,642
without the fur.

302
00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:44,928
I think you should talk to them.

303
00:11:44,929 --> 00:11:46,930
There's nothing to talk about.

304
00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:48,315
Hey, I'll talk to her.

305
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,266
No, you won't. Why not?

306
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,351
Because you don't know what the hell

307
00:11:51,352 --> 00:11:52,736
you're talking about.

308
00:11:52,737 --> 00:11:53,738
All right, fine.

309
00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:56,490
I don't know what the
hell I'm talking about.

310
00:11:56,491 --> 00:11:58,325
And that's the last you'll hear from me.

311
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,694
Thank you.

312
00:12:00,945 --> 00:12:02,412
Hey, so there you are.

313
00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:04,164
What kind of ice cream did you get?

314
00:12:04,165 --> 00:12:05,198
Tutti-frutti.

315
00:12:05,199 --> 00:12:08,084
Ha-ha! Tutti-frutti.
Did you hear that?

316
00:12:08,085 --> 00:12:09,085
Yeah, you better be careful

317
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:11,087
'cause that can lead
to the hard stuff...

318
00:12:11,088 --> 00:12:12,456
double chocolate.

319
00:12:14,592 --> 00:12:18,261
So, uh, is he treating you well?

320
00:12:18,262 --> 00:12:19,679
Yeah, yeah, he sure is.

321
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,181
You know, I think he is

322
00:12:21,182 --> 00:12:23,550
the sweetest person I've ever met.

323
00:12:23,551 --> 00:12:24,684
Me, too.

324
00:12:24,685 --> 00:12:26,970
You know, Sam, I am having the best time

325
00:12:26,971 --> 00:12:30,474
I've ever had in my life, and
I have you to thank for it.

326
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:32,859
Well,

327
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:36,029
if you're happy, we're happy.

328
00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:37,314
If that makes you happy,

329
00:12:37,315 --> 00:12:39,316
you're going to do
cartwheels when you hear this.

330
00:12:39,317 --> 00:12:41,702
Joyce and I are engaged.

331
00:12:58,219 --> 00:13:00,003
Hey, uh, Sam?

332
00:13:00,004 --> 00:13:02,422
Are you, are you okay?

333
00:13:02,423 --> 00:13:04,758
Yeah, why?

334
00:13:04,759 --> 00:13:07,561
You're filling your shoes with beer.

335
00:13:11,265 --> 00:13:13,067
Will this be enough for you?

336
00:13:14,936 --> 00:13:16,319
Could you two sit down over at

337
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:17,821
the table there, please?

338
00:13:17,822 --> 00:13:19,190
I'll be right with you.

339
00:13:22,493 --> 00:13:24,495
Just butt out.

340
00:13:26,998 --> 00:13:30,500
Well... thank you.

341
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:31,501
You're welcome.

342
00:13:31,502 --> 00:13:34,504
So... you're engaged.

343
00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:36,873
Yeah, yeah, and,

344
00:13:36,874 --> 00:13:39,175
and we wanted you to be the
first one to know about it

345
00:13:39,176 --> 00:13:40,677
since you were the one
who put us together.

346
00:13:40,678 --> 00:13:43,680
Well, thank you.

347
00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:46,183
Why are you doing this to me?

348
00:13:48,052 --> 00:13:50,053
Well, Sam, we thought
this would make you happy.

349
00:13:50,054 --> 00:13:55,559
Well, I am, in a, a...
sad and disappointed way.

350
00:13:57,028 --> 00:13:59,446
Well, listen, I know it sounds crazy.

351
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:01,398
We've only known each other a few days,

352
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:02,782
but it seems like...

353
00:14:02,783 --> 00:14:05,202
several.

354
00:14:07,038 --> 00:14:10,991
Listen, listen, you
guys, listen, listen.

355
00:14:10,992 --> 00:14:13,994
I, I was in your shoes once.

356
00:14:13,995 --> 00:14:15,495
I mean, I was young.

357
00:14:15,496 --> 00:14:18,748
I-I, I had a whirlwind
romance and I got married

358
00:14:18,749 --> 00:14:21,551
and it turned out to be a disaster.

359
00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:23,553
I don't want this to happen to you now.

360
00:14:23,554 --> 00:14:24,471
I mean, look at,

361
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,889
look at Diane and me.

362
00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:28,141
We waited five years to get married,

363
00:14:28,142 --> 00:14:30,394
and if it were up to me,
we'd wait another five.

364
00:14:31,729 --> 00:14:33,229
I'm just trying to make a point.

365
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:34,481
Do you mind?

366
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:36,267
The point is, the point is

367
00:14:36,613 --> 00:14:37,734
that you got to, you got to,

368
00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:39,736
you got to get to know each other better

369
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,905
if you're going to take
a big step like this.

370
00:14:41,906 --> 00:14:44,190
You got to get past this,
this early infatuation

371
00:14:44,191 --> 00:14:45,692
and get to the point

372
00:14:45,693 --> 00:14:47,193
where you're sick and
tired of each other.

373
00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:48,696
Then you're ready for marriage.

374
00:14:50,614 --> 00:14:53,616
Sam, we're never going
to be sick of each other.

375
00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:55,618
You know, there, there are hundreds

376
00:14:55,619 --> 00:14:57,121
of good, solid reasons

377
00:14:57,621 --> 00:14:59,873
why you two should not get married.

378
00:14:59,874 --> 00:15:02,208
Like?

379
00:15:02,209 --> 00:15:03,593
Like...

380
00:15:03,594 --> 00:15:06,964
like I forbid you to, young lady.

381
00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:10,467
Wait, you can't forbid me.

382
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:11,469
You're not my father.

383
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:13,970
All right, all right.

384
00:15:13,971 --> 00:15:16,474
Woody, I forbid you to marry Joyce.

385
00:15:16,974 --> 00:15:18,725
Sam, you're only my boss.

386
00:15:18,726 --> 00:15:20,560
Damn it, I, I'm going to forbid

387
00:15:20,561 --> 00:15:22,445
somebody something, I'll tell you.

388
00:15:22,446 --> 00:15:23,696
Norm, I-I forbid you

389
00:15:23,697 --> 00:15:24,948
to leave that stool.

390
00:15:24,949 --> 00:15:27,784
Sorry, Sam, uh, nature calls.

391
00:15:27,785 --> 00:15:29,285
Hey, hey, you,

392
00:15:29,286 --> 00:15:30,203
whoa, whoa.

393
00:15:30,204 --> 00:15:31,454
You go and you're cut off.

394
00:15:31,455 --> 00:15:33,040
Whatever you say, Pop.

395
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:37,243
Let's get down to

396
00:15:37,244 --> 00:15:38,129
brass tacks here.

397
00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:39,629
How much do you want?

398
00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:41,131
Okay, I'm not a, you know,

399
00:15:41,132 --> 00:15:42,132
I'm not a rich guy, but I'm comfortable,

400
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:44,551
so let's stop jerking old Sammy around,

401
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:47,053
and name your price.

402
00:15:47,054 --> 00:15:48,054
Come on.

403
00:15:48,055 --> 00:15:49,556
We don't want anything.

404
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,557
We just want to be together.

405
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,058
Oh, no, don't do...

406
00:15:52,059 --> 00:15:54,060
Just get into my office, will you?

407
00:15:54,061 --> 00:15:55,562
Come on, both of you.

408
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:56,930
I've tried to talk to you

409
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:57,931
on an emotional level,

410
00:15:57,932 --> 00:15:59,816
a logical level and
in an economic level.

411
00:15:59,817 --> 00:16:02,819
Now we're just going to have
to raise this whole discussion

412
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:04,071
up to a higher plane.

413
00:16:05,406 --> 00:16:08,408
Have pity on me.

414
00:16:08,409 --> 00:16:10,777
Oh, please don't do this to me, please.

415
00:16:10,778 --> 00:16:12,245
I-I haven't had an easy life.

416
00:16:12,246 --> 00:16:14,747
This is going to hurt me,
and I-I don't want to be hurt.

417
00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,116
I mean, I-I don't like pain.

418
00:16:16,117 --> 00:16:17,584
And think about your parents.

419
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:18,451
They hate pain, too.

420
00:16:18,452 --> 00:16:20,620
Not, not as much as me, but pretty much.

421
00:16:20,621 --> 00:16:22,539
Oh, come on, this news'll
kill them, you guys.

422
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:23,923
It'll kill me, too.

423
00:16:23,924 --> 00:16:25,041
I-I... please don't,

424
00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:27,377
please, come on, don't do this to me!

425
00:16:27,378 --> 00:16:28,879
Don't make me beg.

426
00:16:30,881 --> 00:16:32,132
Oh...

427
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:35,935
Gee, Sam, you feel pretty
strongly about this?

428
00:16:35,936 --> 00:16:37,804
Yeah.

429
00:16:37,805 --> 00:16:39,272
Yeah.

430
00:16:39,273 --> 00:16:40,640
Well, maybe he's right, Woody.

431
00:16:40,641 --> 00:16:43,026
Maybe we could get to
know each other better.

432
00:16:43,027 --> 00:16:44,277
Really?

433
00:16:44,278 --> 00:16:45,478
It couldn't hurt.

434
00:16:45,479 --> 00:16:47,730
Oh, oh, oh, bless you.

435
00:16:47,731 --> 00:16:49,115
Bless you, kids.

436
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:51,618
Oh, you, you're the greatest.

437
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,119
Hang in there, buddy.

438
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,622
Oh, oh, thanks, Wood.

439
00:17:01,378 --> 00:17:04,882
Oh... heh-heh, they bought it.

440
00:17:09,753 --> 00:17:10,720
See you later, Sam.

441
00:17:10,721 --> 00:17:12,422
Yeah, yeah. Hey, listen, you know,

442
00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:14,224
what you said in there
made a lot of sense.

443
00:17:14,225 --> 00:17:15,725
I think you may have stopped us

444
00:17:15,726 --> 00:17:16,976
from making a pretty big mistake.

445
00:17:16,977 --> 00:17:18,178
Yes, thank you.

446
00:17:18,179 --> 00:17:19,563
Yeah, my pleasure.

447
00:17:21,982 --> 00:17:26,487
Well, what else can I do
around here that I'm great at?

448
00:17:29,990 --> 00:17:32,992
Nauseate us?

449
00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:34,995
Maybe some other time.

450
00:17:42,036 --> 00:17:43,036
Hey, Fras,

451
00:17:43,037 --> 00:17:44,638
thought you'd be out
on the links by now.

452
00:17:45,039 --> 00:17:46,540
It would be exceedingly difficult

453
00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,042
to tee off with this.

454
00:17:49,543 --> 00:17:51,544
What's, uh, what's that, Fras?

455
00:17:51,545 --> 00:17:54,547
This is my extra
special gift from Lilith.

456
00:17:54,548 --> 00:17:55,548
It's a tie.

457
00:17:55,549 --> 00:17:57,050
Yes, and I hate it.

458
00:17:57,051 --> 00:17:58,552
It's ugly.

459
00:18:00,554 --> 00:18:01,555
It's just a tie.

460
00:18:02,056 --> 00:18:03,056
An ordinary gray tie.

461
00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:04,557
I wanted golf clubs!

462
00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:05,558
It's not special!

463
00:18:05,559 --> 00:18:07,061
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

464
00:18:10,564 --> 00:18:13,567
Glad she didn't give him a puppy.

465
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:20,790
Oh, come, come on, come on.

466
00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:23,793
We're not even married yet.

467
00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:24,794
Oh, Sam.

468
00:18:24,795 --> 00:18:26,296
It's never too early

469
00:18:26,297 --> 00:18:28,298
to start thinking about
names for our children.

470
00:18:28,299 --> 00:18:30,801
It-It is if you're thinking
about the name Emile.

471
00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:35,505
What's wrong with Emile?

472
00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:37,006
Emile is something you eat.

473
00:18:37,007 --> 00:18:39,009
It's not something you name your kid.

474
00:18:40,761 --> 00:18:43,931
Why-Why don't you just
name him Socrates, after me?

475
00:18:44,898 --> 00:18:46,766
Ah!

476
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:50,186
You two kids still basking
in the glow of my wisdom?

477
00:18:50,187 --> 00:18:50,687
We sure are.

478
00:18:50,688 --> 00:18:52,188
We thought about what you said,

479
00:18:52,189 --> 00:18:54,190
and we decided it was the best advice

480
00:18:54,191 --> 00:18:56,442
anyone had ever given us in our lives.

481
00:18:56,443 --> 00:18:58,244
You hear that, Diane?

482
00:18:58,245 --> 00:19:00,613
That's why we've decided
to call off the wedding

483
00:19:00,614 --> 00:19:01,865
and move in together.

484
00:19:07,037 --> 00:19:09,340
Hear that, Socrates?

485
00:19:12,343 --> 00:19:14,344
Would you two kids go into my office

486
00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:15,845
and, and wait for a second?

487
00:19:15,846 --> 00:19:17,213
Sure, Sam.

488
00:19:17,214 --> 00:19:19,099
Thank you.

489
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:22,101
You know something?

490
00:19:22,102 --> 00:19:24,103
I could handle this, too,

491
00:19:24,104 --> 00:19:25,855
if I wanted to.

492
00:19:25,856 --> 00:19:29,192
But I think I'm going to
be a good sport about this

493
00:19:29,193 --> 00:19:31,561
and, uh, let you take a crack at it.

494
00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:32,862
So, what you're saying

495
00:19:32,863 --> 00:19:35,231
is that you screwed up miserably,

496
00:19:35,232 --> 00:19:38,117
and now you want me to bail you out.

497
00:19:38,118 --> 00:19:39,119
No! Of course not.

498
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:40,620
Absolutely not.

499
00:19:40,621 --> 00:19:43,039
Well, yes. Yes.

500
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,291
Well, Sam, you don't deserve it,

501
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:48,378
but I'll give it a shot.

502
00:19:48,379 --> 00:19:49,712
Stand aside, Sam.

503
00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:52,215
You're about to see
26 units of psychology

504
00:19:52,216 --> 00:19:54,217
fly into action.

505
00:19:54,218 --> 00:19:57,720
So, you're going to live together.

506
00:19:57,721 --> 00:19:59,222
Why? Talk to me.

507
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:00,590
Well, Sam said

508
00:20:00,591 --> 00:20:02,508
we should get to know each other better

509
00:20:02,509 --> 00:20:05,011
before we got married,
and, and we thought

510
00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:06,512
this might be the best way.

511
00:20:06,513 --> 00:20:08,898
Mm-hmm.

512
00:20:08,899 --> 00:20:11,150
But I think you've forgotten something.

513
00:20:11,151 --> 00:20:14,855
The reason Joyce came to
Boston in the first place.

514
00:20:16,106 --> 00:20:18,108
College.

515
00:20:20,027 --> 00:20:21,527
That was my mom's idea.

516
00:20:21,528 --> 00:20:23,530
I decided I'm not going to college.

517
00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:30,169
Not... not going to college?

518
00:20:30,170 --> 00:20:31,537
No.

519
00:20:31,538 --> 00:20:34,040
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

520
00:20:34,041 --> 00:20:36,042
Oh, no, no.

521
00:20:36,043 --> 00:20:37,543
Oh, you must listen to me.

522
00:20:37,544 --> 00:20:40,046
You... You have your
whole life ahead of you.

523
00:20:40,047 --> 00:20:41,547
You can't throw it away like this.

524
00:20:41,548 --> 00:20:42,932
If you don't go to college,

525
00:20:42,933 --> 00:20:44,717
you can't earn a living.

526
00:20:44,718 --> 00:20:47,103
And, and without a job, what will you do

527
00:20:47,104 --> 00:20:50,890
when he leaves you
with a litter of kids...

528
00:20:50,891 --> 00:20:52,859
and, and you have to sell them,

529
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:54,727
one after another,

530
00:20:54,728 --> 00:20:58,481
just to put food on your
pathetic little table?

531
00:20:58,482 --> 00:21:02,485
And, in the end, you'll
be left with nothing.

532
00:21:02,486 --> 00:21:06,457
Nothing but worn-out
hips and sagging breasts.

533
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:11,244
Is that really what you want?

534
00:21:11,245 --> 00:21:13,045
Well, I can't speak for Joyce,

535
00:21:13,046 --> 00:21:14,882
but I could do without that.

536
00:21:23,924 --> 00:21:26,726
So, tell me

537
00:21:26,727 --> 00:21:30,680
that you'll give up this insane
idea of shacking up together

538
00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:34,183
and concentrate on your college career.

539
00:21:34,184 --> 00:21:37,069
Well, um...

540
00:21:37,070 --> 00:21:39,572
I guess I could move into the dorm

541
00:21:39,573 --> 00:21:41,073
and try a couple classes.

542
00:21:41,074 --> 00:21:41,941
Yes.

543
00:21:41,942 --> 00:21:43,443
Yeah. And we could still date

544
00:21:43,444 --> 00:21:45,194
and see each other, couldn't we?

545
00:21:45,195 --> 00:21:47,498
Sure, oh, sure, sure. Dating's good.

546
00:21:47,998 --> 00:21:49,499
Dating's fine. Yeah.

547
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:51,001
Sure, I like that idea.

548
00:21:51,502 --> 00:21:53,002
Well, thanks, Miss Chambers.

549
00:21:53,003 --> 00:21:54,003
Okay.

550
00:21:54,004 --> 00:21:55,004
Yes, thank you.

551
00:21:55,005 --> 00:21:55,872
Aw...

552
00:21:55,873 --> 00:21:57,291
Thank you.

553
00:22:05,299 --> 00:22:06,799
How'd it go?

554
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,184
Oh, well,

555
00:22:08,185 --> 00:22:09,602
suffice it to say,

556
00:22:09,603 --> 00:22:13,105
the Chambers expertise worked its magic.

557
00:22:13,106 --> 00:22:15,107
You begged, huh?

558
00:22:15,108 --> 00:22:18,478
How do you know?

559
00:22:18,479 --> 00:22:19,980
Your nylons are all baggy there.

560
00:22:24,234 --> 00:22:25,535
How about you?

561
00:22:25,536 --> 00:22:26,787
I don't wear nylons.

562
00:22:28,121 --> 00:22:31,123
I mean, how did you talk
them out of getting married?

563
00:22:31,124 --> 00:22:33,626
Me?

564
00:22:33,627 --> 00:22:36,630
I begged like a dog for a bone.

565
00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:39,131
Oh, Sam...

566
00:22:39,132 --> 00:22:41,050
Mm.

567
00:22:41,051 --> 00:22:43,085
Well, how can we avoid
having this problem

568
00:22:43,086 --> 00:22:45,589
with our own children?

569
00:22:46,089 --> 00:22:49,059
Never have sex again.

570
00:22:56,767 --> 00:22:58,768
I think it's worth it.

571
00:22:58,769 --> 00:23:00,771
Me, too.

572
00:23:02,739 --> 00:23:04,240
Absolutely.

573
00:23:04,241 --> 00:23:05,241
Yeah, yeah...

574
00:23:05,242 --> 00:23:06,242
It's worth it.

575
00:23:06,243 --> 00:23:07,244
Absolutely.

576
00:23:12,666 --> 00:23:13,666
Well, may...

577
00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:15,168
maybe just...