1 00:00:00,905 --> 00:00:04,292 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,210 --> 00:00:06,710 Sammy, got three questions. 3 00:00:06,711 --> 00:00:09,213 One, who's going to fix the ball return 4 00:00:09,214 --> 00:00:10,080 on the pool table? 5 00:00:10,081 --> 00:00:12,299 Okay, I'll check that today. 6 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,501 Check. Two, how much vermouth do you want next month? 7 00:00:14,502 --> 00:00:16,303 Uh, an extra case. 8 00:00:16,304 --> 00:00:18,055 Check. Three, why, why, why?! 9 00:00:18,056 --> 00:00:19,306 Oh, come on, don't start with me 10 00:00:19,307 --> 00:00:20,807 about the wedding, will you? 11 00:00:20,808 --> 00:00:22,309 Oh, Sammy... Sam, it actually looks 12 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:24,678 like you're going to go through with this horrible thing. 13 00:00:24,679 --> 00:00:27,649 Why do you want to marry this woman? 14 00:00:29,984 --> 00:00:32,320 I don't know, Carla. It... 15 00:00:34,322 --> 00:00:37,074 It's not easy to explain. 16 00:00:37,075 --> 00:00:38,859 I mean, why did you marry Nick? 17 00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:41,246 Why?! 'Cause I was stupid, that's why. 18 00:00:42,497 --> 00:00:44,164 Well... 19 00:00:44,165 --> 00:00:46,117 actually, there was a little more. 20 00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:49,119 What? 21 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,121 You tell anybody this, and I'll kill you. 22 00:00:51,122 --> 00:00:52,624 No, I won't. 23 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:59,630 Nick made me feel... all... 24 00:00:59,631 --> 00:01:02,516 all squooshy inside. 25 00:01:02,517 --> 00:01:05,352 "Squooshy"? 26 00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:07,221 Squooshy. 27 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,642 Uh, well... 28 00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:12,643 that's how Diane makes me feel... 29 00:01:12,644 --> 00:01:13,644 all squooshy. 30 00:01:13,645 --> 00:01:15,145 Oh, yuck! 31 00:01:15,146 --> 00:01:16,030 Double yuck! 32 00:01:16,531 --> 00:01:17,531 Oh, I'm gonna throw up! 33 00:01:17,532 --> 00:01:18,899 This is so disgusting! 34 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,200 You said it. What do y...? 35 00:01:20,201 --> 00:01:22,202 I married Nick 'cause he knocked me up. 36 00:01:22,203 --> 00:01:23,453 This is sickening! 37 00:01:23,454 --> 00:01:24,237 Ugh! 38 00:01:24,238 --> 00:01:26,239 I only said it 'cause you said it. 39 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,741 What are you do...? I need some air. 40 00:01:27,742 --> 00:01:29,242 Hey, guys, listen to this! 41 00:01:29,243 --> 00:01:30,243 No, don't, please don't...! 42 00:01:30,244 --> 00:01:32,246 Sam says Diane makes him feel all squooshy! 43 00:01:33,748 --> 00:01:34,999 Ooh, Sammy! 44 00:01:36,301 --> 00:01:37,801 "Squooshy." 45 00:01:37,802 --> 00:01:39,804 Oh! 46 00:01:44,809 --> 00:01:46,810 ? Sometimes you want to go? 47 00:01:46,811 --> 00:01:52,316 ? Where everybody knows your name? 48 00:01:52,317 --> 00:01:56,820 ? And they're always glad you came? 49 00:01:56,821 --> 00:01:59,323 ? You want to be where you can see? 50 00:01:59,324 --> 00:02:02,326 ? Our troubles are all the same? 51 00:02:02,327 --> 00:02:06,831 ? You want to go where everybody knows your name.? 52 00:02:24,182 --> 00:02:26,183 Excuse me, young man. 53 00:02:26,184 --> 00:02:27,685 I'm Dr. Sumner Sloane. 54 00:02:27,686 --> 00:02:30,187 I'm looking for Diane Chambers. 55 00:02:30,188 --> 00:02:31,689 Gee, I hope she's not sick. 56 00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:33,691 No, I'm not a medical doctor. 57 00:02:33,692 --> 00:02:36,694 I'm in the Literature Department at Boston University 58 00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:38,195 where I occupy a chair. 59 00:02:38,196 --> 00:02:40,197 Huh. Hey, don't worry about it. 60 00:02:40,198 --> 00:02:42,200 That's all I did in school, too. 61 00:02:44,569 --> 00:02:46,403 Hey, that's Sumner Sloane there. 62 00:02:46,404 --> 00:02:48,405 The famous Sumner Sloane... 63 00:02:48,406 --> 00:02:50,290 the man who jilted Diane? 64 00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,076 Yup. He made a bigger doofus out of her 65 00:02:52,077 --> 00:02:53,077 than she made out of you. 66 00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:54,078 No easy trick. 67 00:02:54,079 --> 00:02:55,579 Oh, boy, yeah, that was one 68 00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,581 of your major league dumps, too. 69 00:02:57,582 --> 00:02:58,582 Poor little Diane, 70 00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:01,085 left there on our doorstep, you know, 71 00:03:01,086 --> 00:03:03,587 turning to us for, uh, shelter from life's storm. 72 00:03:03,588 --> 00:03:06,090 Boy, oh, boy, it seems like a long time ago, 73 00:03:06,091 --> 00:03:07,591 doesn't it, Normie? Yep. 74 00:03:07,592 --> 00:03:10,094 A lot's changed since that fateful night, eh? 75 00:03:10,095 --> 00:03:11,095 Yeah. As I recall, 76 00:03:11,096 --> 00:03:13,097 you were sitting over there, drinking a beer, 77 00:03:13,098 --> 00:03:15,099 and I was sitting right here having a beer, 78 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:16,600 kind of wishing you'd shut up. 79 00:03:16,601 --> 00:03:19,104 Good memory. Yeah. 80 00:03:22,607 --> 00:03:24,608 Hello, Diane. 81 00:03:24,609 --> 00:03:26,610 Hello, Sumner. 82 00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:29,113 Hello, Sam, old man. Sumner. 83 00:03:29,114 --> 00:03:31,448 I understand congratulations are in order. 84 00:03:31,449 --> 00:03:33,951 You've heard about our engagement? 85 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,452 Yes. Wonderful news travels fast. 86 00:03:35,453 --> 00:03:36,920 Sam, old man, 87 00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:39,173 I'd like to steal away your lovely bride-to-be 88 00:03:39,174 --> 00:03:40,457 for a private chat. 89 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:42,259 With your permission, of course. 90 00:03:42,260 --> 00:03:43,043 You're not going to try 91 00:03:43,044 --> 00:03:45,045 to take her away from me, are you, Sumner? 92 00:03:45,046 --> 00:03:47,047 It's obvious you've cast a spell over Diane 93 00:03:47,048 --> 00:03:49,049 that someone with even my considerable charms 94 00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:50,551 would find difficult to break. 95 00:03:50,552 --> 00:03:54,055 Well, maybe with your charms and a jug of cheap wine. 96 00:03:55,557 --> 00:03:57,558 Hello, I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. 97 00:03:57,559 --> 00:03:59,560 Perhaps you've heard of me. 98 00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:01,061 Not till this moment. 99 00:04:01,062 --> 00:04:02,063 Well, it just so happens 100 00:04:02,564 --> 00:04:04,565 that I was once engaged to Diane, too. 101 00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:09,069 Ah. Is there anyone in this bar you haven't been engaged to? 102 00:04:09,070 --> 00:04:10,571 Well, 103 00:04:10,572 --> 00:04:12,072 I believe the floor is now open 104 00:04:12,073 --> 00:04:14,576 to nominations for "pompous ass of the year" award. 105 00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:20,581 Hey, uh, remember us, uh, Dr. Sloane? 106 00:04:20,582 --> 00:04:21,999 How could I forget? 107 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,501 Barney, Wally, Ed. 108 00:04:27,388 --> 00:04:29,890 When I heard of your impending marriage to Sam, 109 00:04:29,891 --> 00:04:32,259 I thought perhaps I had overestimated you. 110 00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:35,179 So, I pored through everything that you'd written... 111 00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,981 letters, poems, short stories. 112 00:04:37,982 --> 00:04:39,183 The pages burned 113 00:04:39,184 --> 00:04:41,151 with your talent, Diane, 114 00:04:41,152 --> 00:04:42,653 and I was singed. 115 00:04:42,654 --> 00:04:45,105 Why are you telling me this? 116 00:04:45,106 --> 00:04:47,024 I was so impressed by one of your unfinished novels, 117 00:04:47,025 --> 00:04:49,026 I took the liberty of sending it to a friend 118 00:04:49,027 --> 00:04:50,444 who's an editor at Houghton Mifflin. 119 00:04:50,445 --> 00:04:52,746 You had no right to do that. 120 00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:54,665 While he concurs with me 121 00:04:54,666 --> 00:04:57,668 that it's rough, embryonic and immature, 122 00:04:57,669 --> 00:04:59,170 he loves it... 123 00:05:00,588 --> 00:05:02,089 and thinks it has 124 00:05:02,090 --> 00:05:03,610 a very good chance of being published. 125 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,045 Published? 126 00:05:09,881 --> 00:05:10,881 I knew it. 127 00:05:10,882 --> 00:05:11,882 I felt it. 128 00:05:11,883 --> 00:05:13,884 I've never been more alive in my life 129 00:05:13,885 --> 00:05:15,385 than when I was writing that. 130 00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:16,888 Which one was it? 131 00:05:18,273 --> 00:05:20,524 Jocasta's Conundrum. 132 00:05:20,525 --> 00:05:21,809 Yes! 133 00:05:23,811 --> 00:05:25,312 I'm going to be a novelist. 134 00:05:25,313 --> 00:05:26,813 I'm going to be a novelist. 135 00:05:26,814 --> 00:05:29,316 Now, this doesn't guarantee publication. 136 00:05:29,317 --> 00:05:30,817 He has other people to convince. 137 00:05:30,818 --> 00:05:33,320 And he'll have to see the finished work. 138 00:05:33,321 --> 00:05:36,707 Actually, I haven't quite finished it. 139 00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:37,575 I haven't written 140 00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:41,512 for... five years. 141 00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,514 That's about the same amount of time 142 00:05:43,515 --> 00:05:47,017 you've been interred in this, uh, tomb of thought. 143 00:05:47,018 --> 00:05:52,022 Oh... roughly. 144 00:05:52,023 --> 00:05:55,025 Well, then it's imperative you get out of here 145 00:05:55,026 --> 00:05:57,027 and finish this novel immediately. 146 00:05:57,028 --> 00:05:58,529 You can use my cabin in Maine. 147 00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:01,533 It's where I go to do most of my profound thinking. 148 00:06:02,534 --> 00:06:04,535 You'll love it! 149 00:06:04,536 --> 00:06:07,038 Ted Koppel has a little place right down the road. 150 00:06:09,958 --> 00:06:11,458 I can't. 151 00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:12,960 I'm going to marry Sam. 152 00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:15,713 Do you realize the implications 153 00:06:15,714 --> 00:06:16,997 of the choice you're making? 154 00:06:16,998 --> 00:06:18,457 There's no choice. 155 00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:21,435 A woman can be married and write, too. 156 00:06:21,436 --> 00:06:22,936 Oh, I get it. 157 00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,439 You're going to write the great American novel 158 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,442 in between driving the kids to Little League games, 159 00:06:28,443 --> 00:06:30,944 changing a litter box and teaching Sam pinochle 160 00:06:30,945 --> 00:06:33,948 so you can finally have the Mundanes over to dinner. 161 00:06:38,019 --> 00:06:40,020 Well, even if I can't do both, I don't care. 162 00:06:40,021 --> 00:06:41,522 Of course you don't. 163 00:06:41,523 --> 00:06:43,524 Sam's bludgeoned all the spirit out of you 164 00:06:43,525 --> 00:06:45,526 and dragged you back down to his level. 165 00:06:45,527 --> 00:06:46,994 No one was dragged, Sumner. 166 00:06:46,995 --> 00:06:47,996 Sam and I 167 00:06:48,496 --> 00:06:51,499 walked arm in arm to his level. 168 00:06:54,419 --> 00:06:56,420 I think you'd better leave now. 169 00:06:56,421 --> 00:06:59,423 Yes, I'll leave. 170 00:06:59,424 --> 00:07:00,424 But the time will come 171 00:07:00,425 --> 00:07:02,426 when you'll look back on this moment 172 00:07:02,427 --> 00:07:04,428 and realize you've made a terrible mistake. 173 00:07:04,429 --> 00:07:06,430 I'm glad I won't be around to witness that. 174 00:07:06,431 --> 00:07:07,881 So am I. 175 00:07:07,882 --> 00:07:08,799 Touch? 176 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,803 How appropriate that as I take my leave of you, 177 00:07:12,804 --> 00:07:15,806 you are holding the eight ball. 178 00:07:15,807 --> 00:07:18,310 Good-bye, Diane. 179 00:07:34,159 --> 00:07:35,993 Sam? 180 00:07:35,994 --> 00:07:37,244 Yeah. 181 00:07:37,245 --> 00:07:38,079 Oh, there you are. 182 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,413 Where have you been? 183 00:07:39,414 --> 00:07:41,332 I, uh, was at the dentist. 184 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:43,835 I, uh, had something caught in my teeth. 185 00:07:47,672 --> 00:07:49,173 What are you up to there? 186 00:07:49,174 --> 00:07:51,592 I've started addressing our wedding invitations. 187 00:07:51,593 --> 00:07:52,977 So... 188 00:07:52,978 --> 00:07:54,728 what did Sumner have to say? 189 00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:57,514 Well, it seems he has submitted 190 00:07:57,515 --> 00:08:00,517 the manuscript of one of my novels 191 00:08:00,518 --> 00:08:02,019 to an editor 192 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,521 who thinks it might be publishable 193 00:08:04,522 --> 00:08:05,522 with a little work. 194 00:08:05,523 --> 00:08:08,025 Well, that's great, isn't it? 195 00:08:08,026 --> 00:08:09,410 Yeah, it's... 196 00:08:09,411 --> 00:08:11,195 very flattering. 197 00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:13,198 And I'm not easily flattered. 198 00:08:13,698 --> 00:08:15,199 Oh, I know, I know. 199 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,084 That's, uh... 200 00:08:17,085 --> 00:08:19,253 That's one of the most remarkable things about you. 201 00:08:19,254 --> 00:08:21,955 Thank you, Sam. 202 00:08:21,956 --> 00:08:23,424 Hey, wait a minute. 203 00:08:23,425 --> 00:08:26,427 You know, this... this could work out perfectly. 204 00:08:26,428 --> 00:08:29,931 Why don't we... why don't we postpone the wedding? 205 00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:33,801 Postpone it? Yeah, absolutely. 206 00:08:33,802 --> 00:08:36,270 I mean, you-you could go off and finish your book, 207 00:08:36,271 --> 00:08:38,272 and it'd give me a chance to do something 208 00:08:38,273 --> 00:08:39,773 I've wanted to do all my life. 209 00:08:39,774 --> 00:08:41,275 What? 210 00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:43,193 What do you mean what? 211 00:08:43,194 --> 00:08:45,063 You want me to name it? 212 00:08:46,981 --> 00:08:48,866 That'd be good. 213 00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:52,286 Well, I, uh, take a trip to the Orient. 214 00:08:52,287 --> 00:08:55,539 Yeah, yeah, I always wanted to go to the Orient. 215 00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:59,159 You've never said anything about a trip to the Orient. 216 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,128 Well, not in so many words, but I mean, 217 00:09:01,129 --> 00:09:03,498 you know how much I like Chinese food. It's... 218 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,669 Sam, I've waited several years for this marriage, 219 00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:11,672 and I don't want to wait any longer. 220 00:09:11,673 --> 00:09:13,557 I'm starting to get scared. 221 00:09:13,558 --> 00:09:15,309 Oh, no. Something always seems 222 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:17,595 to screw us up... usually it's you. 223 00:09:19,097 --> 00:09:21,348 Sometimes it's me. 224 00:09:21,349 --> 00:09:22,516 Let's get married now. 225 00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:24,852 What do you mean "now"? 226 00:09:24,853 --> 00:09:26,737 Now. Tonight. 227 00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:28,605 Tonight? 228 00:09:28,606 --> 00:09:30,607 Yeah. 229 00:09:30,608 --> 00:09:32,609 You know, what's the rush? 230 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:33,994 I mean, it feels like 231 00:09:33,995 --> 00:09:35,779 you want to do this fast 232 00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:38,165 so that you don't change your mind. 233 00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:41,952 You're the one who seems to be changing his mind. 234 00:09:41,953 --> 00:09:43,203 No, no, I'm not, no, I'm not. 235 00:09:43,204 --> 00:09:45,122 Well, good, then there's no problem. 236 00:09:45,123 --> 00:09:46,623 Let's marry tonight. 237 00:09:46,624 --> 00:09:48,626 Well, maybe we will, maybe we won't. 238 00:09:49,627 --> 00:09:52,130 We ought to think about this. 239 00:09:53,631 --> 00:09:54,631 All right, fine. 240 00:09:54,632 --> 00:09:57,018 You sit down and think about it. 241 00:09:58,219 --> 00:10:00,521 I'll make us some tea. 242 00:10:00,522 --> 00:10:01,889 If you get stuck, call me. 243 00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:03,942 I'll come in and jiggle your head. 244 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,151 Tea time, dear. 245 00:10:16,871 --> 00:10:19,206 I've had a great life. 246 00:10:19,207 --> 00:10:24,077 My grandson's a 25-game winner with the... Red Sox. 247 00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:26,413 Got the prettiest wife in town. 248 00:10:26,414 --> 00:10:27,831 And I can still fire off 249 00:10:27,832 --> 00:10:30,752 the old booster rockets now and again. 250 00:10:33,138 --> 00:10:36,473 And don't forget your pinochle's coming along quite well. 251 00:10:36,474 --> 00:10:39,259 Yes, yes. You know, now that I got the hang of it, 252 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:40,645 I kind of like that game. 253 00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:44,481 Who called there a minute ago? 254 00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:47,351 That was your granddaughter, Samantha. 255 00:10:47,352 --> 00:10:50,103 She said to tell her gramps that she has 256 00:10:50,104 --> 00:10:52,573 a new boyfriend. 257 00:10:52,574 --> 00:10:54,074 Uh-oh. 258 00:10:54,075 --> 00:10:55,075 What's he like? 259 00:10:55,076 --> 00:10:58,078 Well, he sounds like a fine young man. 260 00:10:58,079 --> 00:11:00,447 She said he has his doctorate 261 00:11:00,448 --> 00:11:03,867 in laser beam demolecularization. 262 00:11:03,868 --> 00:11:06,336 There's only one thing that kept me from going 263 00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:07,588 into that myself. 264 00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:10,341 I don't have the brains of a turnip. 265 00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:19,217 I'll get it. 266 00:11:22,220 --> 00:11:24,722 Maybe you better do it. 267 00:11:25,723 --> 00:11:29,142 I'd rather watch you walk anyway. 268 00:11:29,143 --> 00:11:31,144 You know, it's absolutely amazing 269 00:11:31,145 --> 00:11:32,896 how you've held onto your figure. 270 00:11:32,897 --> 00:11:36,117 Well, it's amazing how you've held onto it, too. 271 00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:41,705 Oh, Clifford. 272 00:11:41,706 --> 00:11:44,208 Er... you hit the jackpot there, Diane. 273 00:11:44,209 --> 00:11:45,209 Oh, thanks so much. 274 00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:48,212 Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea? 275 00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:50,214 Oh, don't mind if I do. 276 00:11:50,215 --> 00:11:51,716 Good. 277 00:11:54,469 --> 00:11:56,637 When are you going to retire, Cliff? 278 00:11:56,638 --> 00:11:57,888 "Retire"? 279 00:11:57,889 --> 00:12:00,757 Hells bells, Sammy. 280 00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:05,062 Being a mailman's still the surest way I know 281 00:12:05,063 --> 00:12:08,066 of, uh, meeting the, uh... 282 00:12:10,568 --> 00:12:11,519 Women. Women. 283 00:12:16,357 --> 00:12:18,742 I'll get it. 284 00:12:18,743 --> 00:12:20,578 No, maybe not. 285 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,947 Let me. 286 00:12:23,948 --> 00:12:28,453 We seem to be very popular today. 287 00:12:29,454 --> 00:12:31,838 Evening, everybody. 288 00:12:31,839 --> 00:12:32,673 Norm! Norm! 289 00:12:32,674 --> 00:12:34,675 Norman. 290 00:12:34,676 --> 00:12:35,542 What's up, Norm? 291 00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:37,845 Me, about 30 times a night. 292 00:12:40,265 --> 00:12:41,765 Norman, 293 00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:44,134 shall I get you a cup so you can join us in some tea? 294 00:12:44,135 --> 00:12:45,936 No, no, thanks, Diane. 295 00:12:45,937 --> 00:12:46,937 I'm just here 296 00:12:46,938 --> 00:12:47,854 to pick up Cliffie. 297 00:12:47,855 --> 00:12:50,357 We're going to go on over to Woody's bar 298 00:12:50,358 --> 00:12:52,359 and have a few beers. 299 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,727 Well, tell Woody we say hi. 300 00:12:53,728 --> 00:12:55,228 Mm-hmm, yeah. 301 00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:56,480 How's he doing with the bar? 302 00:12:56,481 --> 00:12:57,815 Well, Sammy, he's, uh, turned it 303 00:12:58,215 --> 00:12:59,816 into a real family enterprise, you know. 304 00:12:59,817 --> 00:13:01,535 Hmm. He's, uh... 305 00:13:01,536 --> 00:13:04,321 He and, uh, his kid are... are working behind the bar, 306 00:13:04,322 --> 00:13:05,322 and he's got his-his wife 307 00:13:05,323 --> 00:13:07,324 and his daughter actually waiting tables. 308 00:13:07,325 --> 00:13:08,709 And in the evening, 309 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:09,993 they, uh, apparently 310 00:13:09,994 --> 00:13:11,328 take off all their shoes and socks 311 00:13:11,329 --> 00:13:13,331 and add up the receipts. 312 00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:18,335 Oh... 313 00:13:18,336 --> 00:13:19,753 Yep. 314 00:13:19,754 --> 00:13:21,755 We're out of here. Cliffie? 315 00:13:21,756 --> 00:13:23,757 Women. 316 00:13:23,758 --> 00:13:26,259 No, we're out of here. 317 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:30,764 Er... eh... really, eh, nice seeing you two again. 318 00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:34,017 Eh, Diane, you get, uh, better looking every year. 319 00:13:34,018 --> 00:13:35,852 Why, thank you, Clifford. 320 00:13:35,853 --> 00:13:40,357 Yeah, wish I could say the same thing about Vera. 321 00:13:40,358 --> 00:13:42,359 Oh, Norman, didn't you tell us that Vera still has 322 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,744 the figure of a young girl? 323 00:13:43,745 --> 00:13:45,863 That's right; It's tattooed on her back. 324 00:13:49,617 --> 00:13:52,619 Good one. Good one. 325 00:13:52,620 --> 00:13:55,622 You know, Sam, Mm-hmm? 326 00:13:55,623 --> 00:13:58,625 We are blessed. 327 00:13:58,626 --> 00:14:02,629 With wonderful friends and a wonderful family. 328 00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:05,633 It certainly has been a good life. 329 00:14:09,137 --> 00:14:11,139 Do you have any regrets? 330 00:14:13,141 --> 00:14:14,142 None. 331 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,560 Now, what about that book 332 00:14:16,561 --> 00:14:18,562 you were going to write a long time ago? 333 00:14:18,563 --> 00:14:20,063 Now, don't you ever wish 334 00:14:20,064 --> 00:14:22,065 that you had done that instead of marrying me? 335 00:14:22,066 --> 00:14:26,069 Oh... that was years and years ago, Sam. 336 00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:28,573 I know that, but don't you have any regrets? 337 00:14:30,074 --> 00:14:32,576 Sam Malone... 338 00:14:32,577 --> 00:14:36,079 I wouldn't trade one minute of my life with you 339 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,083 for a Nobel Prize in Literature. 340 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,338 I'll get it. 341 00:14:45,339 --> 00:14:48,341 Oh. 342 00:14:48,342 --> 00:14:51,344 Hello. 343 00:14:51,345 --> 00:14:53,847 I don't know why, Carla... because I love her! 344 00:14:53,848 --> 00:14:57,351 Now, can we just leave this alone, please?! 345 00:15:00,738 --> 00:15:02,824 Teatime, Sam. 346 00:15:06,661 --> 00:15:08,662 So, what's your answer? 347 00:15:08,663 --> 00:15:10,664 "Yes" or "I need more time to think about it"? 348 00:15:10,665 --> 00:15:12,916 Hmm. 349 00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:14,751 Okay. 350 00:15:14,752 --> 00:15:15,753 You mean it? 351 00:15:16,254 --> 00:15:18,255 Yeah. Oh, Sam! 352 00:15:18,256 --> 00:15:19,257 You won't regret it. 353 00:15:19,636 --> 00:15:20,757 Well, I just hope you don't. 354 00:15:20,758 --> 00:15:22,260 Oh, I never shall. 355 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,629 Thank you. Mm. 356 00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:26,463 Come on, let's do it. 357 00:15:26,464 --> 00:15:28,348 Let's go get a justice of the peace. 358 00:15:28,349 --> 00:15:30,851 Better yet, let's wed at Cheers. 359 00:15:30,852 --> 00:15:31,635 The bar? 360 00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:33,603 It's ideal. 361 00:15:33,604 --> 00:15:35,105 Right there in front of our dearest friends 362 00:15:35,106 --> 00:15:36,606 who've been witness to our love, 363 00:15:36,607 --> 00:15:39,059 seeing the good times and the bad times, 364 00:15:39,060 --> 00:15:40,444 shared our joys and sorrows. 365 00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:41,446 How perfect. 366 00:15:41,946 --> 00:15:44,448 Those dear souls who will share 367 00:15:44,449 --> 00:15:46,450 our moment of ultimate joy. 368 00:15:46,451 --> 00:15:48,318 Better still, why don't we have 'em over right here? 369 00:15:48,319 --> 00:15:49,569 We'll do it right here. 370 00:15:49,570 --> 00:15:52,240 Oh, I don't want those people in my house. 371 00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:07,304 All right, I got 20 bucks says they won't do it. 372 00:16:07,305 --> 00:16:09,139 All right, well, I got, eh, 30 here 373 00:16:09,140 --> 00:16:12,008 says they, uh, tie the knot-ski tonight-ski. 374 00:16:12,009 --> 00:16:13,929 I'd like a piece of that, Cliff, because you see, 375 00:16:13,978 --> 00:16:15,378 I'm convinced that the words "I do" 376 00:16:15,479 --> 00:16:16,840 are not in the woman's vocabulary. 377 00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:19,933 Eh, all right, let's see how much you got there. 378 00:16:19,934 --> 00:16:21,735 Come on, put your money where your mouth is. 379 00:16:21,736 --> 00:16:23,236 Hey, everybody! 380 00:16:23,237 --> 00:16:26,239 Hey! 381 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,242 Wish me luck. 382 00:16:30,244 --> 00:16:34,114 Sammy, uh, let me just give you a little piece of advice 383 00:16:34,115 --> 00:16:37,617 I wish somebody would've given me once. 384 00:16:37,618 --> 00:16:39,119 Run, Sammy, run. 385 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,004 Run like the wind. 386 00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:44,292 Disappear into the night. Go, Sam, go! 387 00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:07,647 I understand that this has been 388 00:17:07,648 --> 00:17:09,033 a long time in coming. 389 00:17:10,451 --> 00:17:14,154 So without further delay, uh, we'll get to the matter at hand. 390 00:17:14,155 --> 00:17:15,989 You, Sam, and you, Diane, 391 00:17:15,990 --> 00:17:18,291 have complied with the general laws 392 00:17:18,292 --> 00:17:20,293 of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 393 00:17:20,294 --> 00:17:23,047 and there are no apparent impediments to this marriage. 394 00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:31,421 Therefore, do you, Sam Malone, 395 00:17:31,422 --> 00:17:34,175 take this woman, Diane Chambers, to be your lawfully wedded wife 396 00:17:34,675 --> 00:17:36,676 till death do you part? 397 00:17:36,677 --> 00:17:37,929 I do. 398 00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:45,602 Cheers. 399 00:17:45,603 --> 00:17:47,103 Oh, just a second. 400 00:17:47,104 --> 00:17:48,225 Miss Chambers, it's for you. 401 00:17:49,991 --> 00:17:52,943 Woody, I'm kind of busy. 402 00:17:52,944 --> 00:17:54,828 Oh. 403 00:17:54,829 --> 00:17:56,329 Uh, listen, she's getting married. 404 00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,832 Can I take a message? 405 00:17:58,833 --> 00:18:00,700 You're kidding. 406 00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,536 Oh, that's... 407 00:18:03,037 --> 00:18:06,039 Yeah, that's great. That's unbelievable. 408 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,541 You're welcome. 409 00:18:09,794 --> 00:18:12,630 Go ahead. 410 00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:16,466 No, no, don't go ahead. 411 00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:18,134 Woody, what is it? 412 00:18:18,135 --> 00:18:20,270 They're going to publish Miss Chambers' book. 413 00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:23,556 They're giving her a big advance to finish it. 414 00:18:23,557 --> 00:18:26,811 Um, to, uh, continue... 415 00:18:29,613 --> 00:18:31,481 Diane Chambers, 416 00:18:31,482 --> 00:18:33,733 do you take this man, Samuel Malone, 417 00:18:33,734 --> 00:18:35,735 to be your lawfully wedded husband 418 00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:37,405 till death do you part? 419 00:18:38,205 --> 00:18:39,706 What? 420 00:18:39,707 --> 00:18:41,207 Oh, yes, of course. 421 00:18:41,208 --> 00:18:43,710 Why wouldn't I? 422 00:18:43,711 --> 00:18:45,211 Well, then, by the powers vested in me by the governor 423 00:18:45,212 --> 00:18:47,080 of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, 424 00:18:47,081 --> 00:18:49,083 I now pronounce you man... No, you don't. 425 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:53,838 I want to change my answer. 426 00:18:54,672 --> 00:18:56,423 What did he say? 427 00:18:56,424 --> 00:18:57,591 Sam... 428 00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:07,350 Look, you got to do this book. 429 00:19:07,351 --> 00:19:08,318 You have to. 430 00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:10,320 I don't care about the book. 431 00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,489 I care about you. 432 00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:15,658 Go ahead, from the beginning, please. 433 00:19:15,659 --> 00:19:16,994 This is inhuman. 434 00:19:18,946 --> 00:19:20,447 You, Sam, and you, Diane, 435 00:19:20,448 --> 00:19:24,451 have complied with the general regulations and the... 436 00:19:24,452 --> 00:19:26,086 laws of the Commonwealth... 437 00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:27,871 No, no, w-w-w-wait-wait. 438 00:19:27,872 --> 00:19:29,372 Look, I-I-I don't want to be married 439 00:19:29,373 --> 00:19:31,842 to a woman who's going to be always asking, "What if"? 440 00:19:35,012 --> 00:19:36,796 I'll tell you what. 441 00:19:36,797 --> 00:19:38,798 Y-Y-You're bad at ballet. 442 00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:39,799 You're terrible at acting. 443 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,801 You don't... you can't draw worth a lick. 444 00:19:41,802 --> 00:19:43,269 You're bad at-at poetry, 445 00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:45,271 photography, cinema and omelets. 446 00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:46,773 I mean, they're going to have to start 447 00:19:46,774 --> 00:19:49,275 inventing things for you to be bad at. 448 00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:52,279 Make your point, Sam. 449 00:19:52,780 --> 00:19:54,280 You're-you're good at writing. 450 00:19:54,281 --> 00:19:56,282 I mean, I think we finally found something 451 00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:57,784 you don't stink at. 452 00:19:57,785 --> 00:19:59,786 But, Sam, I-I... 453 00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:03,790 Look, look, this is important for you. 454 00:20:03,791 --> 00:20:06,793 I mean, I-I-I had my day in the sun. 455 00:20:06,794 --> 00:20:08,161 I-I may not have been 456 00:20:08,162 --> 00:20:10,046 the greatest relief pitcher in the world... 457 00:20:10,047 --> 00:20:10,830 Yeah, you were, Sammy. 458 00:20:10,831 --> 00:20:12,749 Thank you. The point is... 459 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:15,251 the point is 460 00:20:15,252 --> 00:20:17,587 I took a shot. 461 00:20:17,588 --> 00:20:21,926 You've got to take your shot. 462 00:20:25,729 --> 00:20:28,731 Well... 463 00:20:28,732 --> 00:20:30,600 we've always gone with our feelings. 464 00:20:30,601 --> 00:20:31,735 Yeah. 465 00:20:33,487 --> 00:20:35,489 Are these your feelings? 466 00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:37,992 Yes, they are. 467 00:20:39,827 --> 00:20:44,197 I only want to do what's best for us. 468 00:20:44,198 --> 00:20:47,700 So... 469 00:20:47,701 --> 00:20:51,122 do you agree that we shouldn't get married? 470 00:20:57,962 --> 00:20:59,713 I do. 471 00:21:01,715 --> 00:21:04,218 Thank you, thank you. 472 00:21:17,398 --> 00:21:19,283 Well, Maine awaits. 473 00:21:27,625 --> 00:21:29,125 See you in six months. 474 00:21:29,126 --> 00:21:30,126 Right. 475 00:21:30,127 --> 00:21:32,129 Right. 476 00:21:42,089 --> 00:21:45,592 Next time, let's have our wedding somewhere else. 477 00:21:45,593 --> 00:21:48,596 Anything you say. 478 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:00,740 Hey. 479 00:22:00,741 --> 00:22:02,660 Have a good life. 480 00:22:04,662 --> 00:22:06,664 "Have a good life"? 481 00:22:07,114 --> 00:22:07,947 What? 482 00:22:07,948 --> 00:22:09,365 Well, that's something you say 483 00:22:09,366 --> 00:22:10,868 when something's over. 484 00:22:12,870 --> 00:22:15,788 Sam, I'm going away for six months. 485 00:22:15,789 --> 00:22:17,290 That's all. 486 00:22:17,291 --> 00:22:20,210 So no more of this "have a good life" stuff. 487 00:22:20,211 --> 00:22:22,962 You never know. You-you could die. I could die. 488 00:22:22,963 --> 00:22:24,265 The world could end. 489 00:22:24,765 --> 00:22:26,766 One of us could bump our heads and, uh, 490 00:22:26,767 --> 00:22:28,268 wander the streets 491 00:22:28,269 --> 00:22:31,272 for the rest of our life with amnesia. 492 00:22:32,273 --> 00:22:34,274 Or maybe one of us will decide 493 00:22:34,275 --> 00:22:35,776 they want something else. 494 00:22:37,695 --> 00:22:40,114 None of those things will happen. 495 00:22:41,482 --> 00:22:43,900 I'll be back here. 496 00:22:43,901 --> 00:22:45,735 I will. 497 00:22:45,736 --> 00:22:48,655 I'll see you in six months. 498 00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:51,074 Okay? 499 00:22:51,075 --> 00:22:52,075 Okay. 500 00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:55,079 Okay. That's better. 501 00:23:08,926 --> 00:23:11,645 Have a good life.