1 00:00:02,416 --> 00:00:05,016 Last time on Cheers: 2 00:00:05,016 --> 00:00:07,416 Hey, Sam, me and Eddie are getting married! 3 00:00:07,416 --> 00:00:09,316 She's, uh, quite a catch, Ed. 4 00:00:09,416 --> 00:00:11,916 Seems that Eddie and I picked the one day of the century 5 00:00:11,916 --> 00:00:13,916 when all the planets and constellations 6 00:00:13,916 --> 00:00:15,216 are in perfect alignment. 7 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:18,116 So we either get married by 4:00 p.m. today, 8 00:00:18,216 --> 00:00:19,816 or we wait until the year 2042. 9 00:00:19,916 --> 00:00:21,516 This is going to be an interesting wedding, 10 00:00:21,616 --> 00:00:23,616 the two most superstitious people in the world. 11 00:00:23,616 --> 00:00:25,516 Hey, hey, don't say that. It's bad luck. 12 00:00:25,616 --> 00:00:28,716 Our love can conquer any bad luck that comes our way. 13 00:00:28,816 --> 00:00:29,616 Hey, that's my mirror. 14 00:00:29,716 --> 00:00:30,516 ( shrieks ) 15 00:00:30,516 --> 00:00:32,516 I mean it, Anthony and Annie moving in... 16 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,516 You don't want to come and live 17 00:00:34,516 --> 00:00:37,316 in my little, tiny overcrowded house. 18 00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:38,116 Your ma hating me... 19 00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:40,016 I'm so happy to meet you. 20 00:00:40,016 --> 00:00:40,816 Car-la. 21 00:00:40,816 --> 00:00:41,816 Anthony hating you... 22 00:00:41,816 --> 00:00:43,216 You are not my father... 23 00:00:43,216 --> 00:00:44,316 and you never will be. 24 00:00:44,416 --> 00:00:44,916 Twins... 25 00:00:44,916 --> 00:00:45,816 I had twins once. 26 00:00:45,816 --> 00:00:47,916 It was the happiest day of my life. 27 00:00:47,916 --> 00:00:50,616 Every time one of these little, piddly things came up, 28 00:00:50,716 --> 00:00:53,716 I kept thinking you were going to say the wedding's off. 29 00:00:53,716 --> 00:00:55,116 The wedding's off. 30 00:00:59,816 --> 00:01:00,916 Afternoon, everybody. 31 00:01:01,016 --> 00:01:02,716 ALL: Norm! 32 00:01:02,716 --> 00:01:04,316 Hey, Mr. Peterson, would you like a beer? 33 00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:05,616 No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass. 34 00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:12,416 Men, you are looking at one sharp bargainer. 35 00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:14,416 Not only did I get Carla and Eddie 36 00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:17,116 eight sterling-silver place settings, but 37 00:01:17,116 --> 00:01:18,616 I also got Bruce to throw in 38 00:01:18,716 --> 00:01:20,816 matching weenie tongs and lemon zester. 39 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,316 That's great, man, except... 40 00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:26,116 the wedding's been called off. 41 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:28,316 Ah... 42 00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:29,716 So what happened? 43 00:01:29,816 --> 00:01:31,516 Eddie freaked out about being a father? 44 00:01:31,516 --> 00:01:32,516 No. 45 00:01:32,516 --> 00:01:34,916 Eddie's mom met Carla. 46 00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:35,716 Hate at first sight. 47 00:01:35,716 --> 00:01:36,916 Yeah, how'd you know? 48 00:01:37,016 --> 00:01:39,716 Well, that's the "law" part of "mother-in-law," see. 49 00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:41,516 So Eddie's not going to marry Carla 50 00:01:41,616 --> 00:01:43,616 because his mother doesn't approve. 51 00:01:43,616 --> 00:01:44,816 I tell you, it's pathetic 52 00:01:44,816 --> 00:01:49,316 to see a grown man so tied to his ma's apron strings. 53 00:01:49,316 --> 00:01:51,616 Well, that reminds me, Mr. Clavin, you mother called 54 00:01:51,616 --> 00:01:54,016 and said she couldn't make it for dinner tonight. 55 00:01:54,116 --> 00:01:55,916 Oh, great. What am I supposed to do 56 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,516 with that casserole-- just throw it away? 57 00:02:04,716 --> 00:02:08,316 ( piano plays ) 58 00:02:08,316 --> 00:02:10,916 ¶ Making your way in the world today ¶ 59 00:02:10,916 --> 00:02:13,916 ¶ Takes everything you've got 60 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,816 ¶ Taking a break from all your worries ¶ 61 00:02:16,816 --> 00:02:19,916 ¶ Sure would help a lot 62 00:02:19,916 --> 00:02:25,216 ¶ Wouldn't you like to get away? ¶ 63 00:02:25,216 --> 00:02:28,016 ¶ Sometimes you want to go 64 00:02:28,016 --> 00:02:32,916 ¶ Where everybody knows your name ¶ 65 00:02:32,916 --> 00:02:38,116 ¶ And they're always glad you came ¶ 66 00:02:38,216 --> 00:02:40,116 ¶ You want to be where you can see ¶ 67 00:02:40,216 --> 00:02:43,116 ¶ Our troubles are all the same ¶ 68 00:02:43,216 --> 00:02:47,916 ¶ You want to be where everybody knows your name ¶ 69 00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:51,016 ¶ You want to go where people know ¶ 70 00:02:51,116 --> 00:02:53,216 ¶ People are all the same 71 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:57,716 ¶ You want to go where everybody knows your name. ¶ 72 00:03:19,816 --> 00:03:21,216 Mr. Malone, 73 00:03:21,316 --> 00:03:24,316 remember that reception you talked me into? 74 00:03:24,316 --> 00:03:26,216 Well, it seems that the bride is in my office 75 00:03:26,316 --> 00:03:28,416 and she's having a little problem with the groom. 76 00:03:28,516 --> 00:03:31,816 She wants him to die with festering boils. 77 00:03:31,816 --> 00:03:34,216 It's just the usual prenuptial jitters. 78 00:03:34,216 --> 00:03:35,516 It'll be all right. 79 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:36,916 It will not be all right. 80 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,716 I invited my boss, 81 00:03:38,716 --> 00:03:40,816 and he's really excited about this. 82 00:03:40,816 --> 00:03:42,016 Now, if Mr. Drake shows up here 83 00:03:42,016 --> 00:03:44,116 expecting a reception and there isn't a reception, 84 00:03:44,216 --> 00:03:45,716 I'm gonna have egg all over my face. 85 00:03:45,716 --> 00:03:47,816 Actually, uh, you know, most complexion experts 86 00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:49,816 swear by the old egg facial. 87 00:03:49,816 --> 00:03:51,716 It tightens one's pores. 88 00:03:53,216 --> 00:03:56,616 Although yours look pretty tight to me. 89 00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:00,716 I want to talk to you a minute. 90 00:04:00,716 --> 00:04:04,016 Miss Howe, I think I can get this wedding back on track. 91 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:04,916 Thank God. 92 00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:07,016 Yeah, but I have one little condition. 93 00:04:07,016 --> 00:04:09,316 You pull this off and you can have anything you want. 94 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,416 Really? 95 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,916 Except that. 96 00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:14,716 Actually, all I want to do 97 00:04:14,716 --> 00:04:17,316 is get rid of these stupid uniforms. 98 00:04:17,316 --> 00:04:19,316 Mr. Malone, ever since you have worked here, 99 00:04:19,316 --> 00:04:20,516 you have done nothing 100 00:04:20,516 --> 00:04:21,716 but whine about these uniforms. 101 00:04:21,816 --> 00:04:23,616 Now, I put a great deal of thought into them 102 00:04:23,616 --> 00:04:25,916 and I happen to think they make a statement. Oh, yeah. 103 00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:27,616 They say I'm a lima bean. 104 00:04:29,516 --> 00:04:30,416 All right. Fine, fine. 105 00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,216 If you insist on keeping these uniforms, 106 00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,516 then there'll be no wedding, 107 00:04:33,616 --> 00:04:34,616 no wedding reception, 108 00:04:34,616 --> 00:04:37,616 and you and Mr. Drake can spend an intimate evening 109 00:04:37,616 --> 00:04:40,916 watching 40 quarts of guacamole turn black. 110 00:04:40,916 --> 00:04:42,616 Fine, fine. 111 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,116 Get rid of the uniforms. 112 00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:45,216 Okay. 113 00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:46,316 Woody. 114 00:04:46,316 --> 00:04:47,416 Yo. Get on the phone. 115 00:04:47,416 --> 00:04:48,916 Tell the church we're running a little bit late. 116 00:04:48,916 --> 00:04:50,516 Cliff, see if you can catch up with Eddie there. 117 00:04:50,616 --> 00:04:51,416 You betcha. Norm, 118 00:04:51,516 --> 00:04:53,016 stay in the office and make sure Carla 119 00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:54,216 does not trash it. Yes, you. 120 00:04:54,216 --> 00:04:56,416 Frasier. Go pick up Carla's gown, will you? 121 00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,216 Right. Oh, say, if anybody needs me, 122 00:04:58,216 --> 00:05:00,416 Just tell them I'm at Gown-O-Rama, tra-la. 123 00:05:04,616 --> 00:05:05,916 That was all well and good. 124 00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:07,216 Thank you. 125 00:05:07,216 --> 00:05:09,816 How do you plan on getting the bride and groom back together? 126 00:05:09,816 --> 00:05:11,316 I'm going to rely on my wits. 127 00:05:11,316 --> 00:05:13,416 Well, you're halfway there. 128 00:05:13,416 --> 00:05:14,616 You better believe it. 129 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,016 Sam. 130 00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:18,516 Father Berry at Carla's church 131 00:05:18,516 --> 00:05:19,516 said we gotta hurry 132 00:05:19,516 --> 00:05:21,216 because he's got two weddings 133 00:05:21,216 --> 00:05:23,316 planned after Carla's, a bake sale, 134 00:05:23,316 --> 00:05:27,216 a slide show of the Knights of Columbus' trip to the Holy Land, 135 00:05:27,216 --> 00:05:28,916 and a CYO hootenanny. 136 00:05:28,916 --> 00:05:30,216 Thank you, Woody. 137 00:05:30,216 --> 00:05:31,716 Sam? Mmm? 138 00:05:31,816 --> 00:05:35,716 I'm, uh... I'm thinking of becoming Catholic. 139 00:05:38,316 --> 00:05:39,616 We'll talk about it later. 140 00:05:41,616 --> 00:05:43,916 Hey, Sammy, I got Eddie. 141 00:05:43,916 --> 00:05:44,816 Great. Where's Mama? 142 00:05:44,816 --> 00:05:47,016 I tipped the cabbie to take her back to the hotel. 143 00:05:47,116 --> 00:05:50,016 You already paid back that buck. 144 00:05:51,216 --> 00:05:52,816 I'm not gonna marry her, Sam. 145 00:05:52,816 --> 00:05:55,516 I mean, I can't go against mémère's wishes. 146 00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:56,916 Maybe some day, after Mama gets to know her 147 00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:57,916 and starts to like her.... 148 00:05:58,016 --> 00:05:58,916 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 149 00:05:59,016 --> 00:06:00,916 What about the planets and the tea leaves? 150 00:06:01,016 --> 00:06:02,416 I mean, if you don't marry her now, 151 00:06:02,416 --> 00:06:03,916 you're going to have to wait till 2042. 152 00:06:04,016 --> 00:06:05,116 Sam, it's no use. 153 00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:06,416 I mean, maybe Carla's right. 154 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:08,616 Ever since I saw her on our wedding day, 155 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,416 we've had nothing but bad luck. 156 00:06:10,516 --> 00:06:12,616 You know, I happen to think that it's bad luck 157 00:06:12,616 --> 00:06:14,716 to be a jerk to the woman you're in love with. 158 00:06:14,816 --> 00:06:16,316 Now, come on, Eddie. 159 00:06:16,316 --> 00:06:17,616 Just talk to her. 160 00:06:18,616 --> 00:06:20,416 Okay. I guess I could just talk to her. 161 00:06:20,416 --> 00:06:21,516 Great, great, 162 00:06:21,516 --> 00:06:23,316 great, great, great, hold that thought. 163 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,916 How's it going? Pretty good, pretty good. 164 00:06:24,916 --> 00:06:27,116 It better be, or my butt's in a sling. 165 00:06:27,216 --> 00:06:28,616 Is there room for two in there? 166 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,216 Eddie's arm. 167 00:06:32,216 --> 00:06:33,516 His neck. 168 00:06:33,616 --> 00:06:34,616 How's it going? 169 00:06:34,616 --> 00:06:35,816 Oh, not too bad. 170 00:06:35,816 --> 00:06:37,216 I don't think we've broken anything vital yet. 171 00:06:39,216 --> 00:06:40,216 Eddie's foot. 172 00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:41,216 Sweetheart. Eddie's femur. 173 00:06:41,316 --> 00:06:43,316 Sit down. Hey. Stop, stop. 174 00:06:43,416 --> 00:06:45,516 Would you give the guy a break, please? 175 00:06:45,516 --> 00:06:46,816 He had to break a mirror, right? 176 00:06:46,816 --> 00:06:47,716 He had to spill the salt. 177 00:06:47,716 --> 00:06:50,016 He had to thumb his nose to the Fates, 178 00:06:50,116 --> 00:06:51,516 and look what happened. 179 00:06:51,516 --> 00:06:53,816 They turned him into a wuss. 180 00:06:53,816 --> 00:06:56,416 The important thing is that the wuss came back. 181 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,116 Does he have a note from his mommy? 182 00:06:59,116 --> 00:07:01,216 Oh, come on, just talk to the guy. 183 00:07:01,316 --> 00:07:04,316 I don't talk to spineless jellyfish. 184 00:07:04,316 --> 00:07:06,916 All right, fine. I'll just, uh, 185 00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:10,116 go out there and tell him to leave. 186 00:07:12,116 --> 00:07:14,316 Hey. 187 00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:18,416 Does he look really pathetic and cute? 188 00:07:18,416 --> 00:07:20,716 Have you ever seen a puppy... 189 00:07:20,716 --> 00:07:22,616 in the rain? 190 00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:29,216 Well... 191 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,616 I guess I can 192 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,116 let him off the hook, but first! 193 00:07:32,116 --> 00:07:36,016 He has to come in here, get down on his knees and sweat blood. 194 00:07:36,116 --> 00:07:37,516 He was hoping you'd say that. 195 00:07:39,216 --> 00:07:40,116 You're smiling. 196 00:07:40,116 --> 00:07:41,816 The wedding's on. Oh, yeah. 197 00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:43,316 This uniform is almost off. 198 00:07:43,416 --> 00:07:46,316 Old engineer Sammy's got the matrimony express 199 00:07:46,416 --> 00:07:47,916 right back on schedule. 200 00:07:48,916 --> 00:07:50,216 Eddie. Eddie, Eddie. 201 00:07:50,216 --> 00:07:51,916 Wait a minute, man. Whoa. 202 00:07:51,916 --> 00:07:52,916 Where you going? 203 00:07:52,916 --> 00:07:54,316 I can't face her right now. 204 00:07:54,316 --> 00:07:56,216 I mean, even if I did change my mind 205 00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:57,716 and decide to stand up to Mama, 206 00:07:57,716 --> 00:08:00,116 Carla would never forgive me for the way I ran out. 207 00:08:00,116 --> 00:08:01,816 I mean, if I went in there right now, 208 00:08:01,816 --> 00:08:02,916 she'd tear my head off. 209 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,216 Come on, Eddie. 210 00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:07,416 I think you're underestimating Carla just a bit here. 211 00:08:07,516 --> 00:08:09,116 What, you don't think she'll be mad? 212 00:08:09,116 --> 00:08:10,616 No, I don't think she'll stop at your head. 213 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,616 SAM: Norm... 214 00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,816 Listen, she wants to forgive you. 215 00:08:13,916 --> 00:08:17,716 All you two need is a few moments together in private. 216 00:08:17,716 --> 00:08:19,216 Okay, but could we do it out here, 217 00:08:19,316 --> 00:08:21,116 where there are plenty of witnesses? 218 00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,416 All right. Okay. 219 00:08:22,416 --> 00:08:23,716 Just sit down right here. Relax. 220 00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,816 If he even looks at the door, break his legs. 221 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:28,516 Sam! 222 00:08:28,516 --> 00:08:29,916 The wedding frock you ordered. 223 00:08:29,916 --> 00:08:33,116 I got some pretty weird looks on the bus with this thing. 224 00:08:33,116 --> 00:08:35,816 There was also one rather interesting invitation. 225 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:38,216 Sam. 226 00:08:38,216 --> 00:08:39,916 Father Berry. 227 00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:40,616 The other wedding party's 228 00:08:40,716 --> 00:08:42,516 starting to stack up in the vestibule. 229 00:08:42,516 --> 00:08:44,316 Ah, I can't talk to him now, man. 230 00:08:44,416 --> 00:08:46,216 I-I gotta talk to Eddie here. 231 00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:47,616 I just talked to Eddie. 232 00:08:47,616 --> 00:08:49,016 I gotta talk to Carla. 233 00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:50,116 Carla? Mm-hmm. 234 00:08:50,116 --> 00:08:51,116 Carla. 235 00:08:52,816 --> 00:08:54,616 Father Berry? 236 00:08:54,716 --> 00:08:57,216 Listen, Sam can't talk right now, but, uh... 237 00:08:57,316 --> 00:09:01,516 while I got you on the phone, can I ask you a question? 238 00:09:01,516 --> 00:09:03,816 Do you have to pay any membership dues 239 00:09:03,916 --> 00:09:06,416 to be a Catholic? 240 00:09:06,416 --> 00:09:09,216 I told you I wouldn't talk to him 241 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,416 unless he comes in here begging. 242 00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:14,216 Come on. Carla, we don't have time for this nonsense. 243 00:09:15,516 --> 00:09:16,616 Hey, I got an idea. 244 00:09:16,616 --> 00:09:18,416 Get out of your clothes. 245 00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,716 Oh, Sammy, any other time I'd love to, 246 00:09:21,716 --> 00:09:22,916 but, really... 247 00:09:23,016 --> 00:09:25,016 Well, I just think that, you know, uh, you're sweaty. 248 00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:26,316 You're tired, Maybe you'd 249 00:09:26,416 --> 00:09:28,516 like to change into something else. 250 00:09:28,616 --> 00:09:30,616 Well, hey, like this, for instance. 251 00:09:30,616 --> 00:09:31,716 No way. 252 00:09:31,816 --> 00:09:33,716 Oh, come on. Just, just try it on. 253 00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:34,816 You know, see how it fits 254 00:09:34,816 --> 00:09:36,616 in case you want to get married someday. 255 00:09:37,316 --> 00:09:38,416 Years from now. 256 00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:39,516 Years from now. Well, you know, 257 00:09:39,616 --> 00:09:40,616 I might not be pregnant then. 258 00:09:40,616 --> 00:09:41,816 Right. 259 00:09:44,316 --> 00:09:45,016 Come on. 260 00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:46,216 Oh, what the heck. 261 00:09:46,216 --> 00:09:48,116 This might be the last chance I get 262 00:09:48,216 --> 00:09:50,416 to see what I look like in one of these. 263 00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:51,516 Yeah. 264 00:09:51,616 --> 00:09:53,016 Besides, I'm out 36 bucks. 265 00:09:56,516 --> 00:09:58,216 Eddie, Eddie. 266 00:09:58,216 --> 00:09:59,316 Sammy. 267 00:09:59,316 --> 00:10:01,516 I know what you're doing here. 268 00:10:01,616 --> 00:10:04,016 You think I'm going to get all decked out 269 00:10:04,116 --> 00:10:05,816 like Miss Bride of the Year, 270 00:10:05,816 --> 00:10:07,316 take one look in the mirror 271 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,616 and forget all about being mad at Eddie. 272 00:10:09,616 --> 00:10:11,116 and I'm going to go out there, 273 00:10:11,116 --> 00:10:13,216 and Eddie's going to take one look at me 274 00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:15,816 and forget all about his mother. Then, 275 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,916 we'll march down the aisle and live happily ever after. 276 00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:21,816 Am I right? 277 00:10:21,816 --> 00:10:22,916 Yeah, that's basically it. 278 00:10:23,016 --> 00:10:24,316 You got a problem with that? 279 00:10:26,616 --> 00:10:28,116 Nah, just checking. 280 00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:29,916 Here I come. 281 00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:35,816 Woo-woo. 282 00:10:35,916 --> 00:10:38,316 Sam... 283 00:10:38,316 --> 00:10:39,716 Do you really mean "woo-woo," 284 00:10:39,816 --> 00:10:41,516 or are you just saying "woo-woo"? 285 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,916 No, no. I don't say "woo-woos" lightly. Huh? 286 00:10:44,016 --> 00:10:45,916 Holá. 287 00:10:45,916 --> 00:10:46,816 Okay. 288 00:10:46,916 --> 00:10:47,916 Ah, look at you. 289 00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:48,916 ( laughing ) 290 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,816 Okay. Let's give it a shot. 291 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,316 All right. 292 00:10:52,316 --> 00:10:54,016 Sammy, zip me. 293 00:10:54,016 --> 00:10:55,216 Well, I'll be darned. 294 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:57,016 These things go up, too, huh? 295 00:11:03,616 --> 00:11:05,216 Oh, Carla. 296 00:11:05,216 --> 00:11:06,716 You look... 297 00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:12,416 That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. 298 00:11:12,516 --> 00:11:14,216 ( phone ringing ) 299 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,516 EDDIE: Oh... Oh, listen. 300 00:11:15,616 --> 00:11:17,016 Let's get to the church. 301 00:11:17,016 --> 00:11:19,016 We have to get married before 4:00. 302 00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:22,716 Hot dog! 303 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,916 Care to help me with my pants? 304 00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:27,116 ( happy humming ) 305 00:11:33,016 --> 00:11:35,116 Carla? It's your church. 306 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,816 Would you tell them we're on our way. 307 00:11:36,816 --> 00:11:38,616 Well, that's just it. They had to go ahead 308 00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:40,616 with the other wedding and cancel yours. 309 00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:42,316 I knew it. 310 00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:43,516 I knew it! 311 00:11:57,116 --> 00:12:00,116 You're out of uniform. 312 00:12:15,149 --> 00:12:17,749 MONSIGNOR: Dear friends, you have come together... 313 00:12:17,849 --> 00:12:19,749 CLIFF: It sure was nice of the Monsignor 314 00:12:19,849 --> 00:12:21,849 to let Carla and Eddie get married here 315 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:24,049 in the rectory chapel. 316 00:12:24,049 --> 00:12:26,449 NORM: Yeah, it was kind of nice of us 317 00:12:26,449 --> 00:12:29,449 to buy all those raffle tickets, too. 318 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,649 FRASIER: Good Lord, it's crowded in here. 319 00:12:31,749 --> 00:12:33,049 But on the upside, 320 00:12:33,049 --> 00:12:36,749 it does satiate any desire I might have had to visit Tokyo. 321 00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:41,849 Edward, have you come here freely without reservation 322 00:12:41,849 --> 00:12:44,949 to give yourself to Carla in marriage? 323 00:12:44,949 --> 00:12:46,549 Edward? 324 00:12:46,649 --> 00:12:50,249 Carla, where's Edward? 325 00:12:50,249 --> 00:12:54,449 Carla? Where's Carla? 326 00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:56,949 Excuse me. Excuse me! 327 00:12:57,049 --> 00:12:58,849 Lady with a baby. 328 00:12:58,849 --> 00:13:02,949 Excuse... Would you get off the dress! 329 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,449 All right, all right, all right. 330 00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:05,949 Crank it up, Father. 331 00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:09,449 All the forces in the universe say we have to be done by 4:00. 332 00:13:09,549 --> 00:13:10,849 ( bell tolls ) Oh, no! 333 00:13:10,949 --> 00:13:12,949 Do you, Edward Raymond, take Carla Maria Victoria... 334 00:13:12,949 --> 00:13:13,949 Hurry! Hurry! Please, hurry! 335 00:13:13,949 --> 00:13:17,149 Angelina Theresa Apollonia... 336 00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:18,849 CARLA: Oh, rat! 337 00:13:18,849 --> 00:13:22,249 Why couldn't my parents have named me Judy? 338 00:13:26,649 --> 00:13:28,849 Go on, go on, go on. 339 00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,049 Hey, here they come! 340 00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:38,149 Ladies and gentlemen, 341 00:13:38,149 --> 00:13:40,449 this is the moment we've all been waiting for. 342 00:13:40,549 --> 00:13:44,049 Appearing for the first time anywhere, the happy couple, 343 00:13:44,149 --> 00:13:46,049 Mr. and Mrs. Eddie LeBec. 344 00:13:46,149 --> 00:13:47,949 ( drum roll ) 345 00:13:47,949 --> 00:13:49,649 ( cheering and applause ) 346 00:13:51,849 --> 00:13:54,649 That's a keeper. 347 00:13:54,749 --> 00:13:56,449 Hey, guys, it's your wedding day. 348 00:13:56,449 --> 00:13:58,149 Show a little teeth here, all right? 349 00:13:58,249 --> 00:13:59,649 I can't, Sammy. 350 00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:02,549 We were pronounced man and wife at 4:01. 351 00:14:02,649 --> 00:14:04,949 We might as well have been pronounced dead. 352 00:14:05,049 --> 00:14:05,949 We're doomed. 353 00:14:06,049 --> 00:14:08,149 Music, music! 354 00:14:08,149 --> 00:14:09,349 Aw, come on, you guys. 355 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,349 Think about all the wedding gifts 356 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,549 you got to open over there. 357 00:14:11,549 --> 00:14:12,549 Yeah. 358 00:14:12,649 --> 00:14:13,549 I guess I should be grateful 359 00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:14,749 Eddy didn't fall down the church steps 360 00:14:14,849 --> 00:14:15,949 and break his leg. 361 00:14:15,949 --> 00:14:17,649 How is it, anyway? 362 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:21,249 I think I just wrenched it a little. 363 00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:24,249 They don't look too happy to me. 364 00:14:24,349 --> 00:14:27,649 No. They do look married, though. 365 00:14:31,049 --> 00:14:33,949 What's that ugly-looking thing? 366 00:14:33,949 --> 00:14:36,349 It's not an ugly thing. 367 00:14:36,349 --> 00:14:38,749 It's a Wabby. 368 00:14:38,749 --> 00:14:43,349 What's a Wabby, Webecca? 369 00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:46,449 It's a "Women of Boston Business" award. 370 00:14:46,449 --> 00:14:48,049 I'm very proud of it. 371 00:14:48,149 --> 00:14:50,749 It happens to be very prestigious. 372 00:14:50,749 --> 00:14:53,449 Thousands of women have won it. 373 00:14:53,449 --> 00:14:56,149 What's it doing out here? 374 00:14:56,149 --> 00:14:58,349 You trying to impress your boss? 375 00:14:58,349 --> 00:14:59,449 I'm glad you reminded me. 376 00:14:59,549 --> 00:15:01,249 I'm completely forgot he was coming. 377 00:15:01,249 --> 00:15:02,249 Yeah, sure you did. 378 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,249 Hey, you know, 379 00:15:03,349 --> 00:15:05,949 every time Evan Drake's name gets mentioned 380 00:15:06,049 --> 00:15:07,849 you get a little red around the gills. 381 00:15:07,849 --> 00:15:09,749 Do you have a crush on him or something? 382 00:15:09,749 --> 00:15:11,349 I beg your pardon. 383 00:15:11,449 --> 00:15:14,149 He happens to be a married man. 384 00:15:14,149 --> 00:15:16,549 Although not happily. 385 00:15:18,249 --> 00:15:20,749 Oh, you do have a crush on him. 386 00:15:20,749 --> 00:15:22,349 How cute! 387 00:15:22,349 --> 00:15:24,349 "Oh, Evan, Evan." 388 00:15:27,949 --> 00:15:29,749 Great stuffed mushrooms, Cliffie. 389 00:15:29,749 --> 00:15:30,849 Try the Swedish meatballs. 390 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:32,549 They're out of this world. 391 00:15:32,549 --> 00:15:33,649 Yeah. 392 00:15:33,649 --> 00:15:37,049 Ooh, try 'em together! Together! 393 00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:38,749 Excuse me, gentlemen. 394 00:15:38,749 --> 00:15:39,949 Do you plan on leaving 395 00:15:39,949 --> 00:15:41,849 any hors d'oeuvres for latecomers? 396 00:15:41,849 --> 00:15:43,849 Hey, you snooze, you lose. 397 00:15:45,449 --> 00:15:46,749 Ooh-ooh! Rumaki! 398 00:15:46,849 --> 00:15:48,249 Come on. 399 00:15:52,249 --> 00:15:54,149 And now it's time for the traditional first dance, 400 00:15:54,149 --> 00:15:55,949 and we all know who's going to start it. 401 00:15:58,049 --> 00:16:01,349 Holy cow, it isn't me, is it? 402 00:16:02,649 --> 00:16:03,849 Let's welcome 403 00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:07,549 the happy couple Carla and Eddie to the dance floor. 404 00:16:10,049 --> 00:16:15,049 ¶ The greatest love the world has known... ¶ 405 00:16:20,549 --> 00:16:22,849 Hit me again, Harley. 406 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,649 Third time's the charm. 407 00:16:29,849 --> 00:16:34,049 So, uh, where's your big-shot lover boy? 408 00:16:34,149 --> 00:16:37,649 A: I told you he is not my lover boy. 409 00:16:37,749 --> 00:16:43,149 B: The big shot SOB is in a meeting. 410 00:16:43,249 --> 00:16:45,849 C: Choke on it. 411 00:16:45,949 --> 00:16:47,049 There's a happy pair. 412 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,249 Say cheeseburger. 413 00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:50,149 Uh, no, no. 414 00:16:50,149 --> 00:16:52,349 All right, that was a good one, 415 00:16:52,349 --> 00:16:55,449 even with Miss Howe's eyes kinda gimpy like that. 416 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:57,549 Oh, Norm, look. 417 00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,449 We forgot about the dessert table. 418 00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,049 And we call ourselves guests. 419 00:17:03,049 --> 00:17:06,049 Ma, you want to trade partners? 420 00:17:06,049 --> 00:17:08,649 Why not? I'm going to die. 421 00:17:08,649 --> 00:17:12,949 I'm going to dance with my mother, all right? 422 00:17:14,949 --> 00:17:17,249 How about a cup of coffee, huh? 423 00:17:17,249 --> 00:17:19,049 Why would I do that? 424 00:17:19,049 --> 00:17:20,349 Well, because I've seen 425 00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:23,249 a lot of ladies hit the champagne in my time. 426 00:17:23,349 --> 00:17:25,249 One minute they're doing just fine. 427 00:17:25,249 --> 00:17:27,649 The next minute it kind of sneaks up on them 428 00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:29,549 and they're doing all sorts 429 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,249 of wild and crazy... 430 00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:34,849 Why am I giving you coffee? 431 00:17:35,949 --> 00:17:38,149 So, Eddie, 432 00:17:38,249 --> 00:17:41,549 what's Mother Tortelli like in bed? 433 00:17:52,049 --> 00:17:54,849 What are you looking at, pretty lady? 434 00:17:54,849 --> 00:17:57,349 I'm looking at you. 435 00:17:57,349 --> 00:17:59,849 Well, I'm looking back at you. 436 00:17:59,849 --> 00:18:02,349 I think I'm beginning to see you 437 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,249 in a whole new light. 438 00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:07,549 Why don't you tell me what you see? 439 00:18:08,949 --> 00:18:11,949 You have a really weird face. 440 00:18:14,949 --> 00:18:17,449 Your eyebrows are growing together 441 00:18:17,549 --> 00:18:20,249 like a big old ugly caterpillar. 442 00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:25,449 Oh, look, they're cutting the cake. 443 00:18:49,849 --> 00:18:52,149 And now as the hour draws late, 444 00:18:52,249 --> 00:18:54,649 it's time for the bride to throw the bouquet. 445 00:18:54,649 --> 00:18:56,549 Okay, come on, come on, everybody. 446 00:18:58,449 --> 00:19:00,049 You all ready? 447 00:19:00,149 --> 00:19:03,749 Okay, heads up, you old maids. 448 00:19:03,749 --> 00:19:07,049 Dr. Crane, a girl's supposed to catch the bouquet. 449 00:19:07,149 --> 00:19:08,649 Well, then the girls should have been 450 00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,849 a little bit quicker. 451 00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,749 Here, knock yourself out. 452 00:19:19,049 --> 00:19:22,149 I think it's time for me to pack it in. 453 00:19:22,149 --> 00:19:22,949 Uh, you know, I don't think 454 00:19:22,949 --> 00:19:24,349 you're in any condition to drive, Miss Howe. 455 00:19:24,349 --> 00:19:25,549 Let me give you a lift home, all right? 456 00:19:25,649 --> 00:19:26,749 I don't know. 457 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:30,849 I've never been alone in a car with such a hairy guy. 458 00:19:32,149 --> 00:19:35,349 Are you sure you weren't in The Planet of The Apes? 459 00:19:36,249 --> 00:19:39,649 Can anybody else please take me home? 460 00:19:39,749 --> 00:19:41,849 There's room in our car. 461 00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,349 You can sit on my lap. 462 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,849 Darling, you're married now. 463 00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:48,449 You don't have a lap. 464 00:19:48,549 --> 00:19:51,649 Come on. You think I'm so ugly? 465 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:53,049 I'll let you get a bag 466 00:19:53,049 --> 00:19:55,149 and put it over my head, all right? 467 00:19:55,149 --> 00:19:58,149 Just a minute. Let me get my bag. 468 00:19:58,249 --> 00:20:00,449 And yours. 469 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,149 I'm not crazy about the way that girl flirts. 470 00:20:04,149 --> 00:20:05,449 And now, folks, 471 00:20:05,449 --> 00:20:06,749 as the lucky couple gets ready 472 00:20:06,749 --> 00:20:08,249 to embark on their new life together, 473 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:11,749 let's all throw some rice, the symbol of fertility. 474 00:20:13,549 --> 00:20:15,049 Ow! 475 00:20:15,149 --> 00:20:17,149 Oh, ow! 476 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:18,349 Ah! 477 00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:19,649 I can't go out here, Eddie. 478 00:20:19,649 --> 00:20:20,649 Why? 479 00:20:20,749 --> 00:20:21,749 No, it's too dangerous. 480 00:20:21,849 --> 00:20:22,849 I'm okay. 481 00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:24,449 Who are we trying to kid here? 482 00:20:24,449 --> 00:20:27,349 We're living in the shadow of the curse 483 00:20:27,349 --> 00:20:28,949 we brought on ourselves. 484 00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:30,749 I can't go on with this. 485 00:20:30,749 --> 00:20:31,749 Come on, Carla. 486 00:20:31,749 --> 00:20:32,749 No, no, no. 487 00:20:32,749 --> 00:20:35,549 I think maybe we should get an annulment. 488 00:20:35,649 --> 00:20:37,949 Oh, would you two stop it?! 489 00:20:37,949 --> 00:20:38,949 I can't believe... 490 00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:41,049 This should be the happiest day of your lives, 491 00:20:41,149 --> 00:20:43,249 and all you've done is moan and groan 492 00:20:43,349 --> 00:20:45,149 all day long. I mean, come on. 493 00:20:45,149 --> 00:20:46,349 It's one thing to play along 494 00:20:46,349 --> 00:20:48,949 with this superstition stuff for, you know, for some fun, 495 00:20:49,049 --> 00:20:50,449 but you're letting it interfere 496 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:52,049 with your happiness here. 497 00:20:52,049 --> 00:20:52,949 You two are wonderful. 498 00:20:53,049 --> 00:20:54,349 You got everything in your life 499 00:20:54,349 --> 00:20:55,749 to look forward to. 500 00:20:55,749 --> 00:20:57,949 Please, please, come on. Trust me. 501 00:20:57,947 --> 00:21:00,447 Nothing bad is going to happen. 502 00:21:00,447 --> 00:21:02,947 ( phone rings ) 503 00:21:02,947 --> 00:21:05,247 You got my personal word on that. 504 00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:07,247 I mean, superstition, it's for the birds. 505 00:21:07,347 --> 00:21:09,047 Just go on with your normal life. 506 00:21:09,047 --> 00:21:10,747 Woody, do you mind? 507 00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:11,847 All right, fine. Go ahead. Answer it. 508 00:21:11,847 --> 00:21:13,047 It's probably just somebody who wants 509 00:21:13,047 --> 00:21:15,447 to, uh, know what time the bar closes. 510 00:21:15,447 --> 00:21:17,647 We close at 2:00. 511 00:21:19,047 --> 00:21:20,447 Eddie, it's for you. 512 00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,247 Some guy from the Bruins. 513 00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:23,347 Maybe, maybe you oughta... 514 00:21:23,447 --> 00:21:26,547 Probably just want to congratulate me on my wedding. 515 00:21:26,647 --> 00:21:28,447 Yeah, right. That's it. That's it. 516 00:21:28,447 --> 00:21:30,647 Hello. 517 00:21:30,647 --> 00:21:31,847 Oh, hiya, Frank 518 00:21:31,947 --> 00:21:33,347 Yeah, how's it going? 519 00:21:33,347 --> 00:21:34,247 It's Frank. 520 00:21:34,247 --> 00:21:35,547 Yeah, 521 00:21:35,547 --> 00:21:37,747 uh-huh. 522 00:21:37,847 --> 00:21:38,947 Uh-huh. 523 00:21:40,247 --> 00:21:42,747 Uh-huh. 524 00:21:42,747 --> 00:21:44,647 Okay, yeah. 525 00:21:44,647 --> 00:21:48,147 Yeah, thanks a lot. 526 00:21:48,147 --> 00:21:49,947 Good-bye, Frank. 527 00:21:51,947 --> 00:21:54,147 Do I smell a bonus? 528 00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:56,547 They cut me from the team. 529 00:21:56,547 --> 00:21:58,447 They're going with the youth movement. 530 00:21:58,447 --> 00:22:02,247 They tried to trade me, but nobody wanted me. 531 00:22:02,247 --> 00:22:03,347 I'm sorry, Carla. 532 00:22:03,347 --> 00:22:05,147 I guess all the superstitions 533 00:22:05,247 --> 00:22:06,947 finally caught up with us. 534 00:22:07,947 --> 00:22:09,847 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 535 00:22:09,847 --> 00:22:14,047 I can blame a lot of things on superstition, 536 00:22:14,147 --> 00:22:16,547 but you aren't the greatest goalie in the world, honey. 537 00:22:16,547 --> 00:22:18,847 What are you saying to me, Carla? 538 00:22:18,947 --> 00:22:21,847 Well, you know, the end of last year you were losing it, 539 00:22:21,847 --> 00:22:24,647 and now you're older, and your reflexes are shot. 540 00:22:24,654 --> 00:22:26,454 Oh, thanks a lot. 541 00:22:26,454 --> 00:22:30,254 I'm feeling a lot better already. 542 00:22:30,354 --> 00:22:34,654 And if that wasn't because of superstition, 543 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:38,754 then maybe the twins aren't bad luck either. 544 00:22:38,854 --> 00:22:40,854 Could it be possible 545 00:22:40,954 --> 00:22:44,254 that I'm just having twins because the eggs split? 546 00:22:47,254 --> 00:22:48,354 Whoa, whoa! 547 00:22:48,354 --> 00:22:53,454 And maybe your mother hates me because she's stupid. 548 00:22:55,154 --> 00:22:56,554 And Anthony hates you 549 00:22:56,654 --> 00:23:00,254 because he takes after his no-good rat-faced father. 550 00:23:01,754 --> 00:23:04,854 And all those things that we thought were bad luck 551 00:23:04,954 --> 00:23:07,954 had nothing to do with superstition. 552 00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:09,754 It was just... 553 00:23:09,854 --> 00:23:11,854 life. 554 00:23:13,254 --> 00:23:16,454 Unfortunately, it happens to be my life. 555 00:23:17,654 --> 00:23:21,054 What the heck? 556 00:23:21,054 --> 00:23:24,954 I'm married and in love with a great guy. 557 00:23:28,554 --> 00:23:31,954 So, I guess that evens things up. 558 00:23:31,951 --> 00:23:33,551 No, it doesn't. 559 00:23:34,851 --> 00:23:38,151 But it makes life worth living. 560 00:23:38,151 --> 00:23:39,351 No, it doesn't. 561 00:23:41,351 --> 00:23:44,151 But it's something. 562 00:23:44,151 --> 00:23:47,551 So let's get on with it. 563 00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:49,251 What do you say, hubby? 564 00:23:51,651 --> 00:23:54,951 I say let's get on with the honeymoon, eh? 565 00:23:55,051 --> 00:23:56,151 See you at 2:00 A.M. 566 00:23:56,251 --> 00:23:59,451 Somebody's got to work in this family. 567 00:23:59,451 --> 00:24:02,451 Hi. I'm Mrs. Eddie LeBec. 568 00:24:02,551 --> 00:24:04,251 What'll you have?