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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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And we're on the help line
with...
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Oh, me.
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Me, hi.
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Uh, hello?
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My name is Reb...
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punzel.
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And uh, I'm sorry if I sound
a little bit nervous,
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but this is the first time
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I've ever called a radio show
for help.
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But I have this problem,
and it's so horrendous
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that I didn't have anyplace else
to turn.
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Now, I have this new boss
at work,
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and he's incredibly rich
and he's incredibly powerful,
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but he is also sort of a, um...
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Oh, God, how could I put this
without sounding mean?
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Um... a weasely little twerp.
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Anyway, this guy asked me out,
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and to get out
of going out with him,
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I told him that I was going
with this guy named Sam...
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son.
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So, Samson, who can be
an incredible jerk sometimes,
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told my boss, the twerp,
that we broke up.
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All right, so my boss...
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The twerp.
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Right.
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My boss asked me out, and you're
not going to believe this.
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He proposed to me.
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I mean, the only thing
I could think of to do,
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without jeopardizing my career,
was to tell my boss
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that I was still in love
with Samson.
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But I cannot
keep avoiding the guy.
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As an example, he is upstairs
right now having lunch at Mel...
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Monico's. Melmonico's.
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The thing is,
that now I'm worried.
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Do you think
I did the right thing?
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I think so.
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Now, did you have
a gardening question?
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You called
the Dr. Green Thumb Show.
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Uh, just a reminder, Rapunzel.
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Plant your bulbs early.
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¶ Sometimes you want to go
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
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¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
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¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
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¶ You want to go where everybody
knows your name. ¶
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Oh, yeah, I know, Norm,
that's a...
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that's a beautiful birdie
you got there on the ninth.
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Thank you.
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Oh, so you guys
were playing golf today, huh?
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Yeah, nothing like bashing
the old pill around, huh?
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Young Woody Nicklaus here
broke 80.
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All right; good man.
Hey, really?
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You shot under 80
for 18 holes?
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Well, no actually, it was 17.
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Yeah, the 18th hole
is the windmill.
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If you're stupid
enough to play that one,
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it's going to eat your
little colored ball.
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You were playing
miniature golf.
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Oh, yeah.
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Do you have any idea
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how long those real
golf courses are?
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Gentlemen,
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that was a pretty poor showing
for a power lunch.
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Ralph, you're going to have
to start doing something more
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than just taking up space
at these meetings.
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How does a guy so young
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get to be
so incredibly powerful?
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I just try to maintain
a cheerful attitude
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and not abuse my position.
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I recently read a Forbes profile
on our young Mr. Teal.
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Oh, yeah?
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Apparently, he started
with his father's firm,
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kicked the old guy out
when he was 17,
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hasn't looked back since.
Big deal.
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Did he ever win a purple ribbon
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in the Jefferson County
Spelldown?
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Anathema.
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Anathema.
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Touché, Woody.
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Touché. T-O-U-C-H-E,
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and a little slanty line--
touché.
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Excuse me.
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Is Miss Howe in?
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She's in her office;
do you want me to go get her?
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No, don't bother. Dennis?
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Miss Howe?
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Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
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The master of the universe
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awaits your presence.
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Dennis, I-I
sense bitterness.
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I've never heard you
talk like this before.
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Oh, I could tell you stories,
honey.
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Here she is, sir,
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per your request.
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So, how's the greatest
love story ever told
working out?
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Sam and I are just
as steady as ever.
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As steady as yesterday
when you broke up twice?
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Things are different.
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Uh... It's ...
it's more serious.
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I won't consider it
really serious
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until I see a ring
on your finger.
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Well, what I meant
by serious is, um...
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is that Sam
and I are engaged.
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Hey, everybody.
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Congratulations,
Sammy.
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Oh? What for?
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She was just a stewardess.
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Stop joking,
you big lug,
and come here.
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Can you excuse us
just a second, Martin?
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We have to discuss
our silver pattern.
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Dennis, get me the papers
on the Trackwell merger.
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Just keep your stupid
mouth shut and smile.
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We're engaged.
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Oh. Great. Well,
let's begin the honeymoon.
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Sam, we're
not actually
getting married.
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Well, that's even better.
I can enjoy the honeymoon.
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Come on, Sam.
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It's just a way
to get Martin
off my back.
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Oh, dear... you mean
the problem-free relationship
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suddenly
developed a glitch?
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I can't very well tell
the future president
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of the corporation no.
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I'd never work again.
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Please, Sam, just
help me out here
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just until Martin
gets over me.
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Come on.
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Oh, I don't know.
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You know, if I go
along with this,
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will you go
to bed with me?
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Let's put it this way.
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If you don't
go along with this,
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I will never go
to bed with you.
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Wait. All right.
So, in other words,
if I don't...
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No. Wait, wait.
That means if you...
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All right,
this is me,
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this is you,
this is the bed.
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Sam, just do it.
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No, I don't...
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Yeah, I don't
personally
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00:06:01,005 --> 00:06:03,205
think we need the
salad forks, honey,
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00:06:03,305 --> 00:06:05,305
but you're
the entertainer
in the family.
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Well, I suppose
congratulations are in order.
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00:06:08,005 --> 00:06:09,505
Oh, well, thank you, sir.
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Yeah, I never
thought I'd get her, but...
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it looks like Becky here
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is going to be
my ever-loving,
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00:06:14,105 --> 00:06:17,405
everlasting little
bundle of kisses.
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Little bundle
of open-mouthed kisses.
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Isn't he sweet?
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I'd like to propose
a toast to the happy couple,
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and especially
to Rebecca Howe--
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the only thing I ever
wanted and haven't gotten.
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Yeah. Same here.
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Um... would you excuse me
just for a minute, please?
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Hey, Sammy,
158
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quite a squeeze-a-rooni
you got there, huh?
I had no idea.
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00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,105
Oh, Sammy,
tell me it isn't true.
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00:06:47,105 --> 00:06:49,005
Carla, come on.
It's not true.
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I knew that.
You're a lousy actor.
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I'm pretty good though, huh?
163
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Well, actually, Carla,
as a student of the theater,
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I have to correct you.
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What you were doing there
is not called acting.
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It's called improvising.
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Shut up, Woody.
168
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Now, that would
be directing.
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00:07:06,805 --> 00:07:09,305
So when's
the big event?
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Well, I was kind of
planning on tonight.
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You're getting married tonight?
172
00:07:12,605 --> 00:07:13,705
Married? Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
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I thought you were talking
about something else.
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It is definitely not
going to be tonight.
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Look, the important
thing is
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that we are as one
forevermore.
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Honeys till the end of time.
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Well, Sam,
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I guess
you wouldn't be interested
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00:07:29,805 --> 00:07:32,405
in spending the next month
tending bar at a seaside resort
181
00:07:32,405 --> 00:07:33,905
we reopened in Cancun?
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I'm there.
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00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,105
Whoa, hey.
184
00:07:36,105 --> 00:07:37,205
Sam!
185
00:07:37,305 --> 00:07:38,605
Oh, right. Yeah.
186
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Um, that wouldn't be fair
to Rebecca here.
187
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Who could we get
to replace me?
188
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Oh, no problem.
189
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I'll make an exchange
with the bartender down there.
190
00:07:45,805 --> 00:07:47,105
Well, then, I'm out of here.
191
00:07:47,105 --> 00:07:48,505
Hey, I'll see you in a month.
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00:07:48,605 --> 00:07:50,005
Adios, amigos!
193
00:07:50,105 --> 00:07:50,805
Sam?
194
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,405
Sam!
195
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,505
Sam!
196
00:07:58,105 --> 00:08:02,705
Martin, is this your little way
of breaking Sam and me up?
197
00:08:02,805 --> 00:08:04,605
It's a bona
fide offer.
198
00:08:04,605 --> 00:08:06,605
I need an
experienced
man down there.
199
00:08:06,605 --> 00:08:08,005
I know what
you're thinking.
200
00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:10,405
You're thinking that,
when Sam gets down there,
201
00:08:10,505 --> 00:08:13,005
and he's all alone,
he's going to start roving.
202
00:08:13,005 --> 00:08:14,305
Well, I can
tell you this.
203
00:08:14,305 --> 00:08:16,505
You can send Sam away
for a month or a year,
204
00:08:16,605 --> 00:08:18,505
and he will
only think of me.
205
00:08:18,605 --> 00:08:19,905
Excuse me.
206
00:08:20,005 --> 00:08:22,105
Do they have drug stores
down there,
207
00:08:22,105 --> 00:08:24,105
or should I pack an extra bag?
208
00:08:35,405 --> 00:08:37,505
Ramon, Ramon, Ramon,
209
00:08:37,605 --> 00:08:40,905
you have been a terrific
replacement for Sammy.
210
00:08:40,905 --> 00:08:43,205
I'm really going to
be sorry to see you go.
211
00:08:44,205 --> 00:08:45,905
Although
I will enjoy
212
00:08:45,905 --> 00:08:47,705
watching you walk
up the stairs.
213
00:08:56,805 --> 00:08:59,005
Mi Carlita...
214
00:09:05,405 --> 00:09:07,005
Adios, amigos.
215
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,005
Bye-bye.
216
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:09,705
Take care of
yourself, Ramon.
217
00:09:11,405 --> 00:09:13,705
I don't know what
that Latin lover said,
218
00:09:13,705 --> 00:09:16,005
but I sure dig
the way he said it.
219
00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:19,305
Well, if you ask me,
220
00:09:19,405 --> 00:09:21,305
Ramon's a lot more Latin
than lover.
221
00:09:21,405 --> 00:09:22,605
Yeah, you know,
222
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,305
study after
study show
223
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:26,505
that the old
sons of Spain
224
00:09:26,505 --> 00:09:29,505
just don't have
our sexual prowess.
225
00:09:29,605 --> 00:09:32,505
Cliffie, nobody
has your sexual prowess.
226
00:09:34,105 --> 00:09:36,305
Thanks, Norm. You know,
227
00:09:36,305 --> 00:09:37,805
it seems that
the tropical sun
228
00:09:37,805 --> 00:09:39,605
dries out a man's
vital juices.
229
00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:43,705
You ever
seen a raisin?
230
00:09:43,705 --> 00:09:45,905
Have you ever seen a doctor?
231
00:09:49,305 --> 00:09:51,605
Sam was supposed
to be in hours ago.
232
00:09:51,605 --> 00:09:54,005
Has anybody heard from him yet?
233
00:09:54,005 --> 00:09:57,105
No one's heard a word
from him in weeks.
234
00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:02,105
Hello, Rebecca.
235
00:10:02,205 --> 00:10:03,805
Heard from
Sam recently?
236
00:10:03,905 --> 00:10:05,605
Have I?
237
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,405
Every hour on the hour.
238
00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:09,405
It's almost embarrassing.
239
00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:10,605
Hmm. Well, then
what's happened
240
00:10:10,705 --> 00:10:11,705
seems all
the more curious.
241
00:10:11,805 --> 00:10:12,905
What's happened?
242
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:14,505
According
to our reports,
243
00:10:14,605 --> 00:10:17,305
Mr. Malone missed
the corporate jet home.
244
00:10:17,305 --> 00:10:19,805
Uh... well, I'm sure
there's a simple explanation.
245
00:10:19,805 --> 00:10:21,605
I'll just call Cancun
this afternoon
246
00:10:21,605 --> 00:10:23,205
and find out
what the trouble is.
247
00:10:24,705 --> 00:10:26,705
We have Cancun on the line.
248
00:10:26,705 --> 00:10:29,205
You are so helpful.
249
00:10:29,205 --> 00:10:32,005
I am five months
from retirement.
250
00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:33,705
Hello.
251
00:10:33,805 --> 00:10:36,105
Sam, hi.
This is Rebecca.
252
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:38,605
You must have
missed your plane,
you naughty boy.
253
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:40,605
So when should
I pick you up
254
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:42,905
at the airport,
my darling? Sam?
255
00:10:42,905 --> 00:10:44,205
Sam?
256
00:10:44,205 --> 00:10:46,205
Hello?
257
00:10:59,705 --> 00:11:02,205
Sam? Sam?
258
00:11:11,508 --> 00:11:13,208
Hello? Operator?
259
00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:15,008
O-operator?
260
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,608
Yes, I was just talking
to my fiancé and I was...
261
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:19,708
Oh, I'm sorry.
262
00:11:19,708 --> 00:11:25,208
Uh, me talk-o to me boy-o
amigo in Cancun,
263
00:11:25,208 --> 00:11:28,308
and we were cut off-o.
264
00:11:30,108 --> 00:11:33,708
It's a beautiful language,
isn't it?
265
00:11:33,708 --> 00:11:36,308
What?
You no operator?
266
00:11:36,308 --> 00:11:37,708
You boose boy?
267
00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:39,208
Oh, bus boy.
268
00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,908
Yeah, okay, adios.
269
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,608
No, no, adios.
270
00:11:42,608 --> 00:11:43,908
Damn.
271
00:11:43,908 --> 00:11:45,408
Thank you, Dennis.
272
00:11:46,908 --> 00:11:50,708
Rebecca, you're not
losing anything in Sam.
273
00:11:50,708 --> 00:11:52,508
I hear he hasn't stopped
fooling around
274
00:11:52,508 --> 00:11:53,408
since he got down there.
275
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,008
You had him watched?
276
00:11:55,108 --> 00:11:56,108
I didn't have to.
277
00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,608
The man's escapades
have become legendary.
278
00:11:58,608 --> 00:12:02,008
The Indians in the mountains
sing a folk song about him.
279
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:07,908
Rebecca, let me help you take
your mind off your problems.
280
00:12:08,008 --> 00:12:09,408
I'll pick you up for dinner,
281
00:12:09,408 --> 00:12:12,608
maybe a drink,
a trip to Paris, a few laughs.
282
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:15,008
Martin, not tonight.
283
00:12:15,108 --> 00:12:17,008
I-I really need time
to get over this.
284
00:12:17,008 --> 00:12:19,108
Well, then tomorrow night.
285
00:12:19,108 --> 00:12:21,408
I won't take no for an answer.
286
00:12:24,008 --> 00:12:26,008
I got him, I got him.
287
00:12:26,008 --> 00:12:29,008
I caught my little
Ricardo Montalban.
288
00:12:29,008 --> 00:12:31,508
Just as he was
getting into a cab.
289
00:12:31,608 --> 00:12:33,908
Go get your
little apron on, honey.
290
00:12:33,908 --> 00:12:36,708
Carla, how come you called Ramon
Ricardo Montalban?
291
00:12:36,808 --> 00:12:38,308
Because his tight little chinos
292
00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:41,508
are so packed with rich,
Corinthian leather.
293
00:12:44,508 --> 00:12:47,708
Oh, yeah, I see,
now that you mention it.
294
00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:48,908
All right,
295
00:12:48,908 --> 00:12:50,208
I hate to change
the subject,
296
00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:52,108
but I don't know
if anyone else recognizes
297
00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:53,808
we seem to have
a little problem here.
298
00:12:53,808 --> 00:12:55,808
Oh, you need
another beer, Mr. Peterson?
299
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:59,508
Okay, we have two problems.
300
00:12:59,608 --> 00:13:02,008
Uh, there's
a distinct possibility
301
00:13:02,008 --> 00:13:03,508
that Sammy may never come back.
302
00:13:03,508 --> 00:13:04,808
Frankly,
I don't blame him.
303
00:13:04,908 --> 00:13:06,908
Beautiful weather,
miles of beaches...
304
00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:08,208
Yeah, chicks.
305
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:09,008
No suits,
306
00:13:09,008 --> 00:13:11,508
no rules, no tight shoes
to pinch your feet.
307
00:13:11,508 --> 00:13:12,608
Yeah, that'd be good
308
00:13:12,608 --> 00:13:14,508
to get out of the city
a little bit, wouldn't it?
309
00:13:14,508 --> 00:13:16,008
Oh, yeah.
310
00:13:16,008 --> 00:13:17,708
I got five vacation days
coming to me.
311
00:13:17,708 --> 00:13:18,908
Oh, say, it may be
a crazy idea,
312
00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:20,308
but why don't we
go down there, too?
313
00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,008
Lay out in the sun
for a while,
314
00:13:22,008 --> 00:13:23,808
work on that old
mañana attitude?
315
00:13:23,808 --> 00:13:24,708
Should we do it?
316
00:13:24,708 --> 00:13:26,008
What do you say,
guys?
317
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,008
Ah, maybe tomorrow.
318
00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:42,108
Excuse me, bartender,
319
00:13:42,108 --> 00:13:44,508
can we get a couple of
pina coladas over here?
320
00:13:44,608 --> 00:13:45,608
Sure thing.
321
00:13:45,608 --> 00:13:46,708
Let me just finish
making this margarita.
322
00:13:47,508 --> 00:13:49,808
So, anyway, Margarita...
323
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,008
Buenos noches, amigos.
324
00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:56,108
¿Que tal, Pepe?
Hola, Pepe!
325
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:05,808
¿Que tal, Pepe?
326
00:14:05,808 --> 00:14:07,308
Los calzones, Sammy.
327
00:14:07,308 --> 00:14:10,208
Esa agua esta muy fría.
328
00:14:10,208 --> 00:14:13,508
Good one, man,
good one.
329
00:14:13,608 --> 00:14:15,008
Let's go, Sam.
We're leaving.
330
00:14:15,008 --> 00:14:17,808
I have a cab outside.
331
00:14:17,808 --> 00:14:20,408
Beckita, what
are you doing here?
332
00:14:20,408 --> 00:14:21,508
I took the liberty
333
00:14:21,508 --> 00:14:24,208
of stopping by your room
and packing your bags.
334
00:14:24,308 --> 00:14:26,708
I can't believe you didn't pack
one pair of underpants.
335
00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:29,808
Now come on, we're going home.
336
00:14:29,908 --> 00:14:33,108
Home? Sweetheart, I'm...
337
00:14:33,108 --> 00:14:34,108
This is home.
338
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:35,708
I love this place.
339
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,908
Sam, we are leaving
and we are leaving now.
340
00:14:37,908 --> 00:14:39,608
I am not going to
get stuck with Martin.
341
00:14:39,608 --> 00:14:40,908
Oh, right, right.
342
00:14:40,908 --> 00:14:42,208
The little one.
343
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:44,508
Uh, sweetheart, yeah,
I got to tell you,
344
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:46,408
I think it's high time
you told him the truth.
345
00:14:46,408 --> 00:14:47,408
I can't tell him the truth.
346
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,008
I'll get fired.
347
00:14:49,008 --> 00:14:50,708
Well, they, uh,
they got plenty
348
00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:52,908
of good job opportunities
down here.
349
00:14:52,908 --> 00:14:55,608
Can you paint pictures
on turtles?
350
00:14:57,208 --> 00:15:01,008
Sam, I am asking you, not
as a woman speaking to a man,
351
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,608
I am asking you as a friend.
352
00:15:02,608 --> 00:15:03,708
Please, Sam.
353
00:15:03,808 --> 00:15:05,508
When you look back
354
00:15:05,508 --> 00:15:08,008
at all the countless,
selfish, petty,
355
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,908
vindictive things you've
done in your life,
356
00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:11,808
wouldn't it be wonderful
if you could say
357
00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:15,608
for one brief moment
that you did something
good and fine?
358
00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:17,908
This shouldn't be turning me on,
should it?
359
00:15:18,008 --> 00:15:19,208
Oh, that's it.
360
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:20,408
Cerveza, Sammy.
361
00:15:20,408 --> 00:15:22,408
Be right there, Pepe.
362
00:15:22,408 --> 00:15:23,808
If you won't listen
to my pleas,
363
00:15:23,908 --> 00:15:25,208
maybe you'll listen
to this.
364
00:15:25,308 --> 00:15:27,008
You're coming with me, Sam.
365
00:15:30,908 --> 00:15:32,308
Now let's not do
366
00:15:32,408 --> 00:15:34,108
anything crazy here.
367
00:15:34,108 --> 00:15:37,008
I bet you wish you had
those underpants now.
368
00:15:40,808 --> 00:15:45,008
Listen, I'm gonna just reach out
my hand here real slowly.
369
00:15:45,108 --> 00:15:49,208
I want you to relax
and take your finger
off the trigger.
370
00:15:49,308 --> 00:15:50,908
Just put the gun in my hand.
371
00:15:53,108 --> 00:15:54,608
I'm sorry.
It's not loaded.
372
00:15:55,408 --> 00:15:56,908
I mean, I'm sorry, period.
373
00:15:56,908 --> 00:16:00,508
It's not loaded, period.
374
00:16:00,508 --> 00:16:02,508
It's-it's all right, everybody.
375
00:16:02,608 --> 00:16:04,508
It was just a... just a joke.
376
00:16:08,408 --> 00:16:09,508
I'm gonna go now.
377
00:16:09,508 --> 00:16:11,108
W-w-where do you think
you're going?
378
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:12,408
You can't just walk out of here.
379
00:16:12,508 --> 00:16:13,708
You pulled a gun on me
380
00:16:13,708 --> 00:16:15,708
in a resort in the middle
of a foreign country.
381
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,708
They have laws,
you know?
382
00:16:17,808 --> 00:16:18,608
Don't they?
383
00:16:21,108 --> 00:16:23,308
Good-bye, Sam.
384
00:16:26,408 --> 00:16:28,008
Pobrecita.
385
00:16:28,008 --> 00:16:29,208
Oh, no,
386
00:16:29,208 --> 00:16:30,608
she's like that all the time.
387
00:16:30,608 --> 00:16:32,508
I mean, this isn't even
a bad day for her.
388
00:16:32,608 --> 00:16:35,808
¿Son todas las babes de Boston
locos como esta?
389
00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:38,808
No, no-- she's kind of
the queen of loco.
390
00:16:38,808 --> 00:16:41,108
I mean, she was nutty
the first day I met her.
391
00:16:42,108 --> 00:16:43,108
She's... she's hyper.
392
00:16:43,108 --> 00:16:44,108
You know what I mean, hyper?
393
00:16:45,008 --> 00:16:46,208
All she thinks about
394
00:16:46,308 --> 00:16:47,608
is her stupid career
395
00:16:47,608 --> 00:16:48,708
and she keeps blowing it.
396
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,108
And I can't tell you
how many times
397
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:52,208
I've had to pull that
lady's fat out of the fire.
398
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:54,408
Get this, you know.
399
00:16:54,508 --> 00:16:56,308
This is her latest escapade.
400
00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:58,708
She wants me to pretend
to be her fiancé,
401
00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:00,208
'cause she doesn't
want to marry
402
00:17:00,308 --> 00:17:02,908
this pint-size executive
back home.
403
00:17:02,908 --> 00:17:04,408
What do I get
for my troubles?
404
00:17:04,408 --> 00:17:07,108
A gun stuck in my face.
405
00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:09,608
You know what
the sorriest thing is?
406
00:17:09,708 --> 00:17:10,908
Me.
407
00:17:11,008 --> 00:17:14,508
I still like her.
408
00:17:14,508 --> 00:17:16,108
Why is that, Pepe?
409
00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:20,208
Nice buns, Sammy?
410
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:26,208
You people see things
so clearly.
411
00:17:31,408 --> 00:17:32,508
Hey, uh, Ramon.
412
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:35,008
Listen, we're heading over
to Casa de Clavin
413
00:17:35,108 --> 00:17:37,608
for our weekly
video film classic.
414
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,608
You want
to take Sammy's seat?
415
00:17:39,708 --> 00:17:40,708
I'm busy.
416
00:17:40,808 --> 00:17:41,708
Yeah, well,
I've got it rented
417
00:17:41,808 --> 00:17:42,608
for a couple of days.
418
00:17:42,708 --> 00:17:43,708
How about tomorrow night?
419
00:17:43,808 --> 00:17:46,308
Uh... I am busy.
420
00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:48,408
Yeah?
Sorry.
421
00:17:48,508 --> 00:17:50,508
Yeah, well,
he's a nice guy, that Ramon,
422
00:17:50,508 --> 00:17:52,108
but he's no Sammy,
is he, Norm?
423
00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:54,408
But then again, Cliffie...
424
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:59,208
he's a lot more Sammy
than you and I will ever be.
425
00:18:06,508 --> 00:18:08,808
Hey, boss, last of the riffraff
just cleared out of here.
426
00:18:08,808 --> 00:18:09,708
You want to lock up?
427
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:15,308
Sure, Carla, can you
show me how a key
works again?
428
00:18:15,408 --> 00:18:18,708
Oh, brother, you been
in there drinking all night?
429
00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:20,308
Carla, I am celebrating.
430
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:24,308
I think that I am the luckiest
woman in the world.
431
00:18:24,308 --> 00:18:29,108
I'm going to marry
the geek tycoon.
432
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,308
And you know, he's going
to give me money and jewels
433
00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:34,008
and all sorts
of rich stuff.
434
00:18:34,008 --> 00:18:36,108
I am going to be so rich,
I can stink
435
00:18:36,208 --> 00:18:39,808
and no one
will even tell me.
436
00:18:39,808 --> 00:18:41,908
I'm sure you two
will be very happy together.
437
00:18:42,008 --> 00:18:43,608
I'm sure I will, too.
438
00:18:43,708 --> 00:18:45,208
I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life
439
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:46,508
living in big,
old mansions,
440
00:18:46,508 --> 00:18:48,108
wearing fabulous clothes
441
00:18:48,208 --> 00:18:51,908
and being real nasty
to the help.
442
00:18:53,108 --> 00:18:55,008
You feeling sorry
for yourself
443
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,408
because you have
to marry a rich guy?
444
00:18:57,508 --> 00:19:00,008
Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.
445
00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,208
Come on, Carla.
446
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,308
You wouldn't trade
Eddie for him.
447
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:07,508
I'd trade Eddie
for a ride in his car.
448
00:19:07,508 --> 00:19:09,308
Now if you'll excuse me,
449
00:19:09,408 --> 00:19:12,708
I have a Spam casserole
lurking in the oven.
450
00:19:16,108 --> 00:19:19,408
Hey, we're the same size.
451
00:19:27,808 --> 00:19:30,208
Hi, honey, you're home.
452
00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:32,408
See?
453
00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:35,308
Aren't I gonna make you
a wonderful wife?
454
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:36,808
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
455
00:19:36,908 --> 00:19:40,008
Just a sippy or two
to celebrate.
456
00:19:40,008 --> 00:19:41,508
Well, now that Sam's
out of the picture,
457
00:19:41,508 --> 00:19:43,008
I assume that leaves
the path clear for me.
458
00:19:43,008 --> 00:19:45,008
Shall we proceed?
459
00:19:45,108 --> 00:19:46,708
Rebecca...
460
00:19:46,808 --> 00:19:49,908
will you do me the honor
of becoming my wife?
461
00:19:49,908 --> 00:19:52,608
I guess.
462
00:19:54,608 --> 00:19:55,608
Outstanding.
463
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:56,808
Shall we set a date?
464
00:19:56,908 --> 00:19:59,108
Whenever. I don't care.
465
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:03,108
You're about to see
my impulsive side.
466
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,708
This is Justice
of the Peace Wilson,
467
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:13,908
these are four dozen
long-stemmed red roses.
468
00:20:14,008 --> 00:20:16,608
I'm the perspective
bridegroom.
469
00:20:16,608 --> 00:20:17,908
Guess what you are?
470
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:21,708
Dead meat
on a hook?
471
00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:22,808
Um...
472
00:20:22,908 --> 00:20:25,108
Martin, you can't do this.
473
00:20:25,108 --> 00:20:27,308
My parents aren't here.
474
00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:30,008
Your parents aren't here.
475
00:20:30,108 --> 00:20:31,908
My mother passed away,
476
00:20:31,908 --> 00:20:34,208
and, uh,
you know my father.
477
00:20:39,608 --> 00:20:40,708
Dennis?
478
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:43,508
Welcome to the family.
479
00:20:43,508 --> 00:20:45,608
Rebecca,
480
00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:46,708
you should know by now
481
00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,208
that I haven't gotten
where I am
482
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:49,808
by waiting for things
to come to me.
483
00:20:49,908 --> 00:20:52,608
As far as I'm concerned,
this is a done deal.
484
00:20:52,608 --> 00:20:53,908
So let's make it legal.
485
00:20:53,908 --> 00:20:55,208
Hey, baby, I'm back!
486
00:20:55,208 --> 00:20:56,708
Call off the Federales.
487
00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,208
Sam!
488
00:20:58,208 --> 00:21:01,708
I couldn't stay away from you
for another second, my darling.
489
00:21:01,808 --> 00:21:03,008
Kiss me.
490
00:21:12,708 --> 00:21:15,408
Oop...
491
00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,008
Hey, did I interrupt
something here?
492
00:21:17,008 --> 00:21:19,508
No, Martin and I
were just going
to get married,
493
00:21:19,508 --> 00:21:21,008
but now that
you're back...
494
00:21:21,108 --> 00:21:24,308
Oh... Martin.
495
00:21:24,308 --> 00:21:25,408
I'm so sorry.
496
00:21:26,908 --> 00:21:30,408
This is really
tearing me apart.
497
00:21:30,408 --> 00:21:33,008
But I need
to follow my heart.
498
00:21:33,108 --> 00:21:36,508
Well, if that's what you feel,
Rebecca, you've got it.
499
00:21:36,508 --> 00:21:39,308
I hope you two
will be very happy together.
500
00:21:39,308 --> 00:21:42,308
you blew it
in a big, big way.
501
00:21:43,608 --> 00:21:47,208
I hope this won't affect
our business relationship.
502
00:21:47,308 --> 00:21:49,808
Why should it?
503
00:21:51,408 --> 00:21:52,708
Gee, when I sober up,
504
00:21:52,808 --> 00:21:55,308
I'm probably going
to worry about this.
505
00:21:55,408 --> 00:21:58,108
Better not let that happen.
506
00:22:00,808 --> 00:22:03,008
I don't believe this.
507
00:22:03,008 --> 00:22:05,608
You came all the way back here
just for me?
508
00:22:06,608 --> 00:22:08,408
I just feel so terrible
509
00:22:08,508 --> 00:22:11,808
for everything I ever said
or did to you.
510
00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:15,908
Well, gee, now, there must be
some way you can thank me.
511
00:22:16,808 --> 00:22:18,908
You're right, Sam.
512
00:22:19,008 --> 00:22:21,208
I think the time
has finally come.
513
00:22:21,308 --> 00:22:22,508
Yeah.
514
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:25,308
You've waited long enough.
515
00:22:28,008 --> 00:22:29,008
Oh...
516
00:22:29,108 --> 00:22:31,008
Oh, no.
517
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,808
That's funny.
518
00:22:36,808 --> 00:22:39,408
Usually they pass out
afterwards.
519
00:22:50,508 --> 00:22:52,108
No, no, no.
520
00:22:52,108 --> 00:22:53,908
I am a gentleman.
521
00:22:55,308 --> 00:22:58,108
But I may never
have this chance again.