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00:00:02,206 --> 00:00:05,006
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,206
I don't know, Eddie.
3
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:08,806
Try-try under the bed.
4
00:00:08,806 --> 00:00:10,106
Well, if they're
not there,
5
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look in the back
of the closet,
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or behind the
dresser,
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or in the washing
machine.
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Yeah, if-if you still
can't find them,
9
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call me back.
10
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I swear to God,
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that man would
lose his head
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if it weren't
bolted on.
13
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What's, uh...
what's up there, Carla?
14
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Eddie wants to
take the twins
for a walk.
15
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Uh, can't find his shoes, huh?
16
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No, he can't
find the twins.
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¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
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¶ Takes everything you've got
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¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
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¶ Sure would help a lot
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¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
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¶ Sometimes you want to go
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¶ Where everybody
knows your name ¶
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¶ And they're always glad
you came ¶
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¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
26
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¶ Our troubles are
all the same ¶
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¶ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ¶
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¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
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¶ People are all the same
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¶ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ¶
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Oh. Excuse me.
32
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No, no, it was my fault.
33
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I'm sorry.
34
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Are you okay?
35
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I'm just fine.
36
00:01:53,205 --> 00:01:56,205
But how nice of you to be
so completely concerned.
37
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Well, you know, you can't be
too careful these days.
38
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Yeah.
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So, uh,
when's your baby due?
40
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I'm not pregnant.
41
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Oh. Well, then
I really am sorry.
42
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Excuse me.
43
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Well, why don't you just watch
where you're going then
44
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next time, Buster?!
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Sam,
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does this outfit
make me look
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like I've put on
a little weight?
48
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The outfit?
Uh, yeah, no.
49
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That's what
it must be.
50
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Right, yeah.
51
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Turn around.
Let me see.
52
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Yeah, blame it
on the outfit...
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You know, you've been wearing
an awful lot
54
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of fat clothes recently,
haven't you?
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Oh, just shut
up, butthead.
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She called me a butthead.
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I think I'm gonna cry.
58
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Oh, don't
worry, Sam.
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00:02:42,905 --> 00:02:44,905
It only looks that
way from the back.
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00:02:50,205 --> 00:02:51,905
Want another beer, Mr. P.?
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00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,605
Love to, Woody, but
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I got to get back
to painting Frasier
and Lilith's place.
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This is the first job
anyone's given me
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in, like, four months,
so I'm not going to do anything
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to jeopardize it.
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I'm really making an effort
this time
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to be the kind
of dependable professional
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that I'd like
to have working for me.
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See you, Mr. Peterson.
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What, Wood?
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I said, I'll see you.
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Well, damn it, Woody.
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Now you made me late, man.
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All right, as long as I'm late,
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I'll just have another beer,
I guess.
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Oh, much
better.
77
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Yes, much
better, yes.
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You know, I never thought
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00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,205
our wedding portrait
lived there.
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Um, where should it go, Ivan?
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Here's a spot.
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Perfect.
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Why clutter a home
with mementos?
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Did I tell you last night
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I programmed myself
to dream about your space?
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You didn't.
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We're thrilled.
88
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Hmm.
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To begin with,
we lose this wall.
90
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Uh, by lose,
do you mean
91
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:03,505
we redesign it so that it
practically disappears,
92
00:04:03,505 --> 00:04:05,105
or lose, we knock it down
93
00:04:05,105 --> 00:04:07,305
so that we're left
facing the back of our stove?
94
00:04:07,305 --> 00:04:09,005
Hmm... fret not.
95
00:04:09,105 --> 00:04:14,105
We'll be transforming il cucina
into an atrium.
96
00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:15,105
I love this idea.
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00:04:15,105 --> 00:04:16,705
I adore it.
98
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But what about eating?
99
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I design, I don't eat.
100
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,705
Now, over here I imagine
removing the ceiling
101
00:04:26,805 --> 00:04:29,205
and extending the wall up
to the second story,
102
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culminating in a skylight
to flood the room
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with natural illumination.
104
00:04:34,705 --> 00:04:36,005
But, uh...
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00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:39,605
that's our...
that's our bedroom up there.
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Is that all
you people think about,
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eating and sleeping?
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Tell me this was a gift.
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Doctor, might I have a word
with you?
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Certainly, Doctor.
111
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How do you feel
about Ivan?
112
00:05:01,305 --> 00:05:03,005
Feel? Look,
113
00:05:03,005 --> 00:05:05,105
the man is one of the most
famous designers in the city.
114
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,705
He's been written up
in every magazine
115
00:05:06,705 --> 00:05:08,405
from Metropolitan Home to HG.
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He's got more awards
on his shelves
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than we have shelves.
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I'd like to beat the crap
out of him.
119
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Maybe we should
let him go.
120
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If that's your final decision,
my cherub, I concur.
121
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The heave-ho.
122
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Wait.
123
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At the risk of
sounding sexist,
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I do believe this
is man's work.
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It requires
a firm hand.
126
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Please feel free to leave
the room if you must.
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This could get
unpleasant.
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Sir.
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You're too good for us.
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Your masterful design
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would make our poor
little lives
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just seem drab
by comparison,
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and of course,
we'll, uh,
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see to your severance
pay, two weeks?
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Six months?
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Fine.
137
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I can't tell you
what a once-in-a-lifetime thrill
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it's been to bask
in your talent.
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Uh, bye-bye now.
140
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Watch the steps.
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Huh.
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00:06:01,305 --> 00:06:03,805
I only hope he can recover
from that tongue lashing.
143
00:06:05,505 --> 00:06:06,705
So, dandelion,
144
00:06:06,705 --> 00:06:08,805
now that you've given away
the farm to Ivan,
145
00:06:08,905 --> 00:06:10,805
do you have some
Swiss bank account we can empty
146
00:06:10,905 --> 00:06:12,305
to pay another decorator?
147
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,405
Well, I'll go that one better,
Dove bar.
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00:06:14,405 --> 00:06:16,805
I submit
that between the two of us,
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we have enough taste
and intelligence
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to redesign our
own habitat,
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sans outside help.
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Bite me, I love you.
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I take back my bite.
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We suck.
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Much better.
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00:07:03,805 --> 00:07:06,205
Much better!
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00:07:06,205 --> 00:07:08,405
Pardon me?
158
00:07:08,405 --> 00:07:10,305
Yes, by simply
moving that chair,
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00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:13,005
an intimate conversation area
is created,
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at the same time, opening up
a new traffic pattern
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00:07:16,005 --> 00:07:17,705
that gives the entire room
162
00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:20,405
a whole new dynamic
sense of flow.
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Plus, I can spackle behind here.
164
00:07:28,405 --> 00:07:29,605
Of course, if...
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00:07:29,605 --> 00:07:31,605
if you really want a better shot
at the intimate thing,
166
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I'd, uh, take these, uh--
167
00:07:35,105 --> 00:07:37,305
what do you call it--
these Louis Couture's jobbies,
168
00:07:37,305 --> 00:07:40,105
uh, and move them over like so.
169
00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:43,105
Get the table...
over this way.
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Okay.
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00:07:44,405 --> 00:07:46,305
Now, this table
would have to come
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00:07:46,305 --> 00:07:47,505
like yea.
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Right?
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00:07:48,805 --> 00:07:50,005
And, uh,
175
00:07:50,105 --> 00:07:51,605
sofa could come around
this way.
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Of course.
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Okay?
178
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,005
Now, uh,
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00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:58,305
that desk has got to come out
of there, you put the piano
180
00:07:58,305 --> 00:08:00,005
into the bay,
all right?
181
00:08:00,005 --> 00:08:02,705
That chrome and glass,
you put into the harbor.
182
00:08:02,705 --> 00:08:04,705
Uh...
183
00:08:05,605 --> 00:08:06,805
I tell you what.
184
00:08:06,805 --> 00:08:09,005
I'd-I-d move
into the warm tones, all right?
185
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:11,005
Reupholster, redrape,
the whole damn thing.
186
00:08:11,105 --> 00:08:12,805
Splash a little bit
of paisley around.
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Throw down a nice
188
00:08:14,205 --> 00:08:15,505
Bukhara rug.
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00:08:15,505 --> 00:08:17,305
Top it off with a fine piece
or two of chinoiserie,
190
00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:18,805
and we're there.
191
00:08:21,405 --> 00:08:24,205
Well, bite us, Norm,
we love you.
192
00:08:31,105 --> 00:08:33,405
So, uh, what
do you got in
there, Woodski?
193
00:08:33,405 --> 00:08:35,305
Oh, boy.
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My Aunt Edna's killer
fudge brownies.
195
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Ooh, killers, huh?
196
00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:41,005
Yeah, they're
called that because
the first time
197
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,805
my Uncle Ford ever
smelled them baking,
198
00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:45,805
he came running in
from the field and
got hit by a combine.
199
00:08:48,605 --> 00:08:50,605
He hung on for
a few days.
200
00:08:50,705 --> 00:08:53,405
At the end, he was
just praying to die.
201
00:08:54,505 --> 00:08:56,005
Well, eat up,
everybody.
202
00:09:03,905 --> 00:09:05,905
Hi, everybody.
203
00:09:05,905 --> 00:09:07,205
Oh, hey, Rebecca.
204
00:09:07,205 --> 00:09:08,705
Want a brownie?
205
00:09:08,705 --> 00:09:11,005
Oh, I'm sorry,
I forgot.
206
00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:14,305
Moment on the lips,
a lifetime on the hips.
207
00:09:17,205 --> 00:09:18,505
You know,
Rebecca,
208
00:09:18,605 --> 00:09:20,405
I don't know why you're so, uh,
concerned about your figure.
209
00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:21,705
You know, back
210
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,005
in the Renaissance
time, uh,
211
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,205
full-figured women
were revered.
212
00:09:24,305 --> 00:09:25,205
Get out.
213
00:09:25,305 --> 00:09:26,205
It's true.
214
00:09:26,305 --> 00:09:27,205
Yeah?
215
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,405
Yeah, yeah.
216
00:09:28,405 --> 00:09:31,105
Artists would only paint big,
voluptuous women.
217
00:09:31,105 --> 00:09:34,605
In fact, that's how they got rid
of a lot of their old paint.
218
00:09:39,905 --> 00:09:41,105
You know,
speaking
219
00:09:41,105 --> 00:09:42,205
of, uh, weight
and stuff,
220
00:09:42,305 --> 00:09:43,505
I got
a riddle.
221
00:09:43,605 --> 00:09:44,805
Which is heavier,
222
00:09:44,905 --> 00:09:46,705
a pound of
Cliff's brain
223
00:09:46,805 --> 00:09:49,205
or a pound of
dead flies?
224
00:09:49,305 --> 00:09:50,805
It's a trick question.
225
00:09:50,805 --> 00:09:51,805
A pound is a pound.
226
00:09:51,805 --> 00:09:53,105
They both weigh the same.
227
00:09:53,205 --> 00:09:56,105
Go ahead, ask me another
of Mr. Clavin's brain questions.
228
00:09:57,905 --> 00:09:59,005
Okay, let's see.
229
00:09:59,005 --> 00:10:00,305
Uh..
230
00:10:00,405 --> 00:10:01,905
if you dropped
Cliff's brain
231
00:10:02,005 --> 00:10:03,505
and a bowling ball
off the top
232
00:10:03,605 --> 00:10:05,205
of the Empire
State Building...
233
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:05,805
Yeah? Yeah?
234
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,005
Well...
235
00:10:08,205 --> 00:10:11,105
Norm, we had to rush over
to tell you.
236
00:10:11,105 --> 00:10:13,105
The new window treatment
you designed just went up.
237
00:10:13,105 --> 00:10:14,405
It is spectacular.
238
00:10:14,505 --> 00:10:15,805
Are you speaking
to another Norm,
239
00:10:15,805 --> 00:10:17,705
or do you have a death wish?
240
00:10:17,705 --> 00:10:18,705
Beg your pardon?
241
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:19,705
Come on, come on.
242
00:10:19,705 --> 00:10:21,005
You think I want these people
to know
243
00:10:21,105 --> 00:10:22,205
I'm an interior decorator?
244
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:24,105
We're sorry, Norm.
245
00:10:24,105 --> 00:10:27,105
It's just, we simply
cannot moderate
our approbation.
246
00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:28,505
Well, give it a shot,
okay?
247
00:10:28,505 --> 00:10:30,205
But you should
be decorating
professionally.
248
00:10:30,205 --> 00:10:32,605
Oh, no, no, no.
Please.
249
00:10:32,605 --> 00:10:33,905
Doing you folks a favor
was one thing.
250
00:10:33,905 --> 00:10:36,405
Any more
of this interior decorating junk
251
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,105
could really eat
into my reputation
252
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,005
as a lazy, beer-guzzling lump
of mashed potatoes.
253
00:10:42,105 --> 00:10:44,405
But, Norm, you have a gift.
254
00:10:44,405 --> 00:10:45,705
Gift?
255
00:10:45,705 --> 00:10:47,005
Try curse, pal.
256
00:10:47,005 --> 00:10:49,205
I spent my whole damn life
trying to cover up the fact
257
00:10:49,205 --> 00:10:50,705
that I have a great sense
of color,
258
00:10:50,705 --> 00:10:52,905
and I always know
where to stick the ottoman.
259
00:10:52,905 --> 00:10:54,205
Oh, it's a pity.
260
00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:55,705
You see, we've just met
this new couple,
261
00:10:55,705 --> 00:10:57,105
and they-they need a decorator.
262
00:10:57,105 --> 00:10:59,405
Dearest, Norm has made
his feelings clear.
263
00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:00,705
Yes, but they're
very well off.
264
00:11:00,705 --> 00:11:02,105
Frasier, it's not
a matter of money.
265
00:11:02,105 --> 00:11:03,505
They're willing
to pay five figures.
266
00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:04,605
But, Frasier...
267
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,405
Hey, Elvira, back off.
268
00:11:10,105 --> 00:11:12,705
If the left side
of Cliff's brain
leaves New York
269
00:11:12,705 --> 00:11:15,405
on a train traveling
at 65 miles per hour,
270
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:18,305
and the right side
of Cliff's brain
leaves L.A. on...
271
00:11:18,405 --> 00:11:19,505
Wait, wait, wait.
272
00:11:19,505 --> 00:11:21,905
Let me get a pencil.
273
00:11:41,005 --> 00:11:43,605
Yeah!
274
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:48,105
Damn, I am good.
275
00:11:48,205 --> 00:11:49,105
Bring these people on.
276
00:11:49,205 --> 00:11:50,305
I'll wipe up the floor
with them.
277
00:11:50,305 --> 00:11:51,405
Who are they, anyhow?
278
00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:53,105
Well, actually, they're friends
of friends.
279
00:11:53,205 --> 00:11:54,305
Yeah?
280
00:11:54,305 --> 00:11:56,205
But I have to warn you-- they're
the essence of the Y word.
281
00:11:57,105 --> 00:11:58,505
That's the yuppie word
for yuppie.
282
00:11:58,505 --> 00:11:59,605
Oh.
283
00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:01,605
Are you implying
that I'm a yuppie?
284
00:12:01,605 --> 00:12:03,205
Oh, forgive me, I erred.
285
00:12:03,205 --> 00:12:04,905
If I ever do it again,
286
00:12:04,905 --> 00:12:07,405
you may cut out my tongue
and serve it to me in a fajita.
287
00:12:10,705 --> 00:12:11,905
Yup, here we go.
Uh-huh.
288
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,005
I'm going to take one last look
in the kitchen.
289
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,405
Hi, we were just
talking about you!
290
00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:21,605
Kiss-kiss.
291
00:12:21,605 --> 00:12:23,305
Yes, yes.
292
00:12:23,305 --> 00:12:24,305
Sorry we're late.
293
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:25,405
We couldn't decide
294
00:12:25,405 --> 00:12:28,105
whether to take
the Range Rover or the BMW.
295
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:29,905
Oh but don't keep
us in suspense.
296
00:12:29,905 --> 00:12:31,705
The Beamer.
297
00:12:31,705 --> 00:12:33,905
Well, we're all here now--
what fun.
298
00:12:33,905 --> 00:12:35,805
Uh, Kier Royales all around?
299
00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:37,505
Super.
That'd be
great, Fras.
300
00:12:37,505 --> 00:12:39,505
I can't get over
what your decorator
301
00:12:39,505 --> 00:12:41,005
has done with this place.
302
00:12:41,105 --> 00:12:43,205
It's warm, it's solid.
303
00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:45,005
It's real.
It's super.
304
00:12:46,005 --> 00:12:47,505
Oh, hi, what's going on?
305
00:12:51,405 --> 00:12:53,105
Hi...
306
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,905
Kim and Robert Cooperman,
I'd like you to meet
307
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,705
our decorator,
Norman Peterson.
Hi.
308
00:12:56,805 --> 00:12:58,205
- How do you do, Norman?
- Great.
309
00:12:58,305 --> 00:12:59,905
You know,
this is the last cold beer.
310
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,605
We could split it or something?
311
00:13:01,705 --> 00:13:04,305
No, thanks,
we're taken care of.
312
00:13:04,405 --> 00:13:06,105
Okay, well, suit yourself, huh?
313
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:07,005
Sit down everybody.
314
00:13:07,005 --> 00:13:09,905
It's beautiful and functional.
315
00:13:09,905 --> 00:13:11,705
You know, uh,
Frasier told me
316
00:13:11,705 --> 00:13:12,905
a little bit
about your place,
317
00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:15,005
so I did take the
liberty of, uh,
318
00:13:15,105 --> 00:13:16,205
jotting down
a few ideas.
319
00:13:16,205 --> 00:13:19,005
Uh... excuse me.
320
00:13:19,005 --> 00:13:20,905
Are those cocktail napkins?
321
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:23,405
Yeah, I'm sorry,
did you need one?
322
00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:25,805
No.
323
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,805
Veggie pâté?
324
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,105
Oh, yes, yes, please.
325
00:13:28,105 --> 00:13:30,505
I'm on empty over here.
326
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,705
Anyway...
327
00:13:34,905 --> 00:13:37,505
I heard your place
is pretty modern, you know?
328
00:13:37,505 --> 00:13:40,205
And most of your stuff
is kind of gray.
329
00:13:40,205 --> 00:13:41,705
So I thought, maybe, you know,
330
00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:44,305
some, you know,
color would be good.
331
00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:48,405
Uh, actually, we hadn't
totally sold ourselves
332
00:13:48,405 --> 00:13:50,405
on the concept of change.
333
00:13:50,405 --> 00:13:52,205
Oh.
334
00:13:52,205 --> 00:13:53,405
You could keep, uh,
335
00:13:53,505 --> 00:13:55,105
some of your old stuff,
and, you know,
336
00:13:55,205 --> 00:13:57,605
throw in some new stuff, too.
337
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,405
Um...
338
00:14:01,505 --> 00:14:03,505
Fras, uh, could you, uh,
339
00:14:03,505 --> 00:14:06,505
help me with
this wall treatment?
340
00:14:06,505 --> 00:14:07,605
Sushi?
341
00:14:07,605 --> 00:14:10,205
I rolled it myself.
342
00:14:10,305 --> 00:14:11,005
What's going on?
343
00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:12,005
I'm dying over here.
344
00:14:12,105 --> 00:14:14,105
Well, it's not you, Norm,
it's them.
Yeah?
345
00:14:14,205 --> 00:14:16,805
They're narrow-minded,
trend-sucking dilettantes,
346
00:14:16,905 --> 00:14:19,205
who insist that...
347
00:14:19,305 --> 00:14:20,705
well, their chefs be French,
you know,
348
00:14:20,705 --> 00:14:23,705
that their mechanics be German,
and that their designers be...
349
00:14:26,305 --> 00:14:28,605
...stylish.
350
00:14:28,605 --> 00:14:30,905
Ooh.
351
00:14:30,905 --> 00:14:33,105
You mean, stylish.
352
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:35,805
Very stylish.
353
00:14:35,905 --> 00:14:37,305
'Nough said, Fras.
354
00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:38,305
I'm sorry, Norm.
355
00:14:38,405 --> 00:14:40,405
This could have been
a real lucrative job for you.
356
00:14:40,405 --> 00:14:42,005
I don't know what to say.
357
00:14:42,005 --> 00:14:44,605
That's okay, I do.
358
00:14:45,705 --> 00:14:47,005
Um...
359
00:14:49,005 --> 00:14:51,505
Listen, uh,
360
00:14:51,505 --> 00:14:54,005
did I tell you that, uh,
361
00:14:54,005 --> 00:14:55,905
last night, I programmed myself
362
00:14:55,905 --> 00:14:59,205
to dream about your... space?
363
00:15:14,942 --> 00:15:16,642
Miss Howe, I don't
mean to insult you,
364
00:15:16,642 --> 00:15:18,842
but you're looking
kind of puny.
365
00:15:18,842 --> 00:15:19,942
Have you lost weight?
366
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:21,942
Is this a setup?
367
00:15:23,142 --> 00:15:25,142
Did Sam tell you to say that?
368
00:15:25,242 --> 00:15:28,542
No, ma'am, I told
myself to say it.
369
00:15:28,542 --> 00:15:30,042
Yeah, I'm worried
about you, you know?
370
00:15:30,042 --> 00:15:32,042
If you're not careful, you're
going to start wasting away,
371
00:15:32,042 --> 00:15:33,842
and pretty soon your
ribs will start to show,
372
00:15:33,842 --> 00:15:36,742
like this guy back in
Hanover, Kyle Lefferts.
373
00:15:36,742 --> 00:15:38,042
Of course, he'd
been dead awhile
374
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:39,742
when they found him.
375
00:15:40,642 --> 00:15:42,442
Thank you, Woody.
376
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,542
That's the nicest thing
anyone's said to me all week.
377
00:15:48,742 --> 00:15:51,442
Your hair's been looking
kind of ratty, too.
378
00:15:53,242 --> 00:15:56,242
Unfortunately,
that's the second nicest thing.
379
00:15:56,242 --> 00:15:59,542
What, no kiss?
380
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,542
No, I've got
to weigh myself.
381
00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:03,442
Oh, we got your scale back here.
382
00:16:03,442 --> 00:16:05,942
What's it doing behind the bar?
383
00:16:05,942 --> 00:16:07,442
We needed it
to settle an argument
384
00:16:07,442 --> 00:16:09,642
about how much
Mr. Clavin's brain weighs.
385
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:14,642
I think I am in for
a pleasant surprise.
386
00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:20,242
Your weight is 162 pounds.
387
00:16:20,242 --> 00:16:22,042
What?!
388
00:16:22,042 --> 00:16:23,142
Have a nice day.
389
00:16:23,142 --> 00:16:25,542
Malone!
390
00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:26,242
Get out here!
391
00:16:26,342 --> 00:16:29,342
I know what you just did!
392
00:16:29,342 --> 00:16:32,442
Congratulations.
393
00:16:32,542 --> 00:16:34,442
Not you, I was
talking to...
394
00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:35,342
Forget it.
395
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,742
Okay, okay, look.
396
00:16:36,742 --> 00:16:39,342
Cliff's brain
is found murdered in a room.
397
00:16:41,142 --> 00:16:43,042
All the doors
and windows are locked.
398
00:16:43,142 --> 00:16:44,542
Good, he's here.
399
00:16:44,542 --> 00:16:46,242
Hello, Norman!
400
00:16:46,242 --> 00:16:47,442
What's going on?
401
00:16:47,442 --> 00:16:48,942
Oh, hi.
402
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:51,642
No, no, no, let's,
uh, let's sit up here.
403
00:16:51,742 --> 00:16:55,242
Um, well, Dick
and, uh, Tracy.
404
00:16:55,242 --> 00:16:57,142
How did you ever
track me down?
405
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,042
It's the address
on the cocktail napkin
406
00:16:59,042 --> 00:17:00,442
you did your sketches on.
407
00:17:00,442 --> 00:17:03,242
You're good.
408
00:17:03,342 --> 00:17:04,942
You know, Norman,
we've never been
409
00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:06,242
in a gay bar before.
410
00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:07,542
Yeah.
It seems
411
00:17:07,542 --> 00:17:08,942
just like a regular bar.
412
00:17:08,942 --> 00:17:10,442
Oh, honey.
413
00:17:10,442 --> 00:17:12,442
Look at those two.
414
00:17:19,142 --> 00:17:19,942
Anyway, how about some drinks?
415
00:17:19,942 --> 00:17:20,942
All right. Miss?
416
00:17:21,042 --> 00:17:23,842
Oh, uh, no, no,
I'll take care of it.
417
00:17:25,042 --> 00:17:26,842
He's kind of touchy
since the operation.
418
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:31,542
Yo, Woodo, uh,
419
00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:34,342
my friends and I need a couple
of, uh, white wine spritzers
420
00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:36,642
and a beer... spritzer.
421
00:17:36,642 --> 00:17:37,642
You feeling okay?
422
00:17:37,642 --> 00:17:40,842
Sure, very manly,
never more so.
423
00:17:41,842 --> 00:17:44,142
Spritzers á trois on the way.
424
00:17:44,142 --> 00:17:45,642
Thank you.
425
00:17:45,642 --> 00:17:49,142
You know, Norman, we didn't just
pop in here on a whim.
426
00:17:49,142 --> 00:17:51,842
We love the work you did
on our place so much
427
00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:55,142
that we want you to do our
mountain retreat next.
428
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:57,042
Gee, uh, I-I don't know.
429
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:58,142
My schedule's kind of...
430
00:17:58,242 --> 00:17:59,642
We know it's an inconvenience,
all right,
431
00:17:59,742 --> 00:18:01,342
so can we double your rate?
432
00:18:01,342 --> 00:18:03,742
Only because I love you kids
so much.
433
00:18:03,742 --> 00:18:06,242
Listen, if you could
scope it out this weekend,
434
00:18:06,342 --> 00:18:07,242
that would be super.
435
00:18:07,342 --> 00:18:07,842
Super.
436
00:18:07,842 --> 00:18:09,642
Super!
Super.
437
00:18:10,942 --> 00:18:12,542
I'm glad you can make it,
438
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:13,842
because we have another friend
439
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:15,542
who we've been dying
for you to meet.
440
00:18:16,142 --> 00:18:18,842
And he's really cute.
441
00:18:22,242 --> 00:18:24,342
Um... he?
442
00:18:24,342 --> 00:18:26,842
Unless somebody's
already snapped you up.
443
00:18:26,942 --> 00:18:28,742
Well, yeah, darn it,
444
00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:30,542
I have been snapped up.
445
00:18:30,642 --> 00:18:32,342
By, um...
446
00:18:32,442 --> 00:18:34,242
that fellow over there.
447
00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:37,342
The one who had
the operation?
448
00:18:37,442 --> 00:18:39,242
Bite your tongue! No!
449
00:18:39,242 --> 00:18:40,842
No, the, uh,
tall hunk
450
00:18:40,942 --> 00:18:42,542
rinsing glasses.
451
00:18:42,642 --> 00:18:43,942
Wa-Wait a minute.
452
00:18:43,942 --> 00:18:46,842
Isn't that Sam Malone,
the pitcher?
453
00:18:46,942 --> 00:18:48,042
Oh, I've heard of him.
454
00:18:48,042 --> 00:18:49,642
Didn't he used to play
for the Sox?
455
00:18:49,742 --> 00:18:50,742
Uh...
456
00:18:50,742 --> 00:18:53,142
Yes, yeah,
but now he plays for me.
457
00:18:53,142 --> 00:18:55,242
Oh.
458
00:18:57,242 --> 00:19:00,342
Oh, man, the guys at the gym
are gonna freak!
459
00:19:00,342 --> 00:19:01,542
No, um...
Why don't you
460
00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:02,542
bring him over
and introduce him to us?
461
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:03,542
Uh, I think he's probably
462
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,042
a little bit too busy right now,
463
00:19:05,142 --> 00:19:06,042
um...
464
00:19:08,742 --> 00:19:10,742
All right, all right,
I'll, I'll get him.
465
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,342
Sam, can I have a word, please?
466
00:19:14,342 --> 00:19:16,042
Yeah, now, come here.
467
00:19:16,042 --> 00:19:18,242
Sam, uh... I need
a favor, pal.
468
00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:19,742
Okay, I have
these clients,
469
00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,342
and they're big
fans of yours.
Oh.
470
00:19:21,342 --> 00:19:22,342
And, uh,
it'd mean a lot
471
00:19:22,342 --> 00:19:24,142
if you could just come
over and say hi to them.
472
00:19:24,142 --> 00:19:25,642
Oh, no problem.
473
00:19:25,642 --> 00:19:27,242
Thanks so much, Sammy.
474
00:19:27,342 --> 00:19:28,142
Thanks, bud.
475
00:19:28,142 --> 00:19:29,942
Oh, and uh,
one more thing, man, okay?
476
00:19:29,942 --> 00:19:31,342
We're lovers.
477
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,142
Kids, this is
Sam Malone.
478
00:19:38,242 --> 00:19:40,642
Sam Malone, this is Kim
and Robert Cooperman.
479
00:19:40,642 --> 00:19:42,342
Pleased to meet you.
480
00:19:44,842 --> 00:19:48,842
You sure do
make a cute couple.
481
00:19:49,842 --> 00:19:52,442
Just accept
the compliment, honey.
482
00:19:56,242 --> 00:19:57,442
Thanks.
483
00:19:57,442 --> 00:19:59,442
I have a confession
to make.
484
00:19:59,442 --> 00:20:01,042
We came in here tonight
485
00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:03,642
to try to fix Norman
up with another man.
486
00:20:03,742 --> 00:20:06,142
Naughty, naughty.
487
00:20:08,742 --> 00:20:10,942
Naughty, naughty.
488
00:20:10,942 --> 00:20:13,042
But since the two of you
are together,
489
00:20:13,042 --> 00:20:15,442
how about if the
four of us spend the
weekend at the cabin?
490
00:20:15,442 --> 00:20:16,642
It'll be a hoot!
491
00:20:17,742 --> 00:20:21,942
Is that good for you, Sam?
492
00:20:21,942 --> 00:20:24,042
What do you mean
is it good for me?
493
00:20:24,042 --> 00:20:25,342
It stinks for me, man.
494
00:20:25,342 --> 00:20:27,142
Come on, I can't.
495
00:20:27,242 --> 00:20:28,742
I can't hack this.
Don't do this to me.
496
00:20:28,842 --> 00:20:30,042
Listen,
I like babe...
497
00:20:30,042 --> 00:20:32,842
I love babes,
and babes love me.
498
00:20:32,842 --> 00:20:33,942
Babes.
499
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:34,942
Babes.
500
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:37,142
Babes.
501
00:20:37,142 --> 00:20:38,942
Babes.
502
00:20:39,042 --> 00:20:43,442
"Babes" is his pet word
for linebackers.
503
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,242
Norman, I pride myself
504
00:20:45,242 --> 00:20:47,442
on being a very
perceptive person.
505
00:20:47,442 --> 00:20:49,442
Now, is something amiss?
506
00:20:50,342 --> 00:20:52,242
Yeah.
507
00:20:52,242 --> 00:20:53,742
Sam and I have had a tiff.
508
00:20:55,642 --> 00:20:56,842
Look.
509
00:20:56,942 --> 00:20:58,842
Maybe meeting Michael
is just the thing you need.
510
00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:00,442
I mean, he lives
right around the corner.
511
00:21:00,442 --> 00:21:01,542
Kim, go call him.
512
00:21:01,542 --> 00:21:03,042
No. No-no-no-no-no,
folks, please.
513
00:21:03,042 --> 00:21:04,842
I can't go on with
this any longer.
514
00:21:06,242 --> 00:21:08,342
Look, I don't care if
it costs me the job.
515
00:21:08,342 --> 00:21:10,042
I got to tell you
the truth, okay?
516
00:21:11,742 --> 00:21:13,342
I wanted to be
your decorator,
517
00:21:13,442 --> 00:21:16,142
so I pretended to be who I
thought you wanted me to be,
518
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:21,042
but... it's time that I
came out of the closet.
519
00:21:21,042 --> 00:21:23,342
I'm straight.
520
00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:26,242
Impossible.
521
00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:29,242
No, no, I-I...
522
00:21:29,242 --> 00:21:30,942
Ever since I
was a little boy,
523
00:21:30,942 --> 00:21:33,142
I've known that
I preferred girls.
524
00:21:33,142 --> 00:21:35,942
Actually, I'm a
guy with a wife.
525
00:21:35,942 --> 00:21:39,242
I mean, uh, I
sleep with Vera.
526
00:21:39,242 --> 00:21:41,242
Well, you know,
I sleep next to her.
527
00:21:42,242 --> 00:21:43,942
Actually, it's in the room
next to her,
528
00:21:43,942 --> 00:21:46,342
but, uh,
I do keep the door open.
529
00:21:47,842 --> 00:21:49,042
But the point is, you know,
530
00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:52,442
I think you should judge people
for what they do,
531
00:21:52,442 --> 00:21:54,742
not for...
532
00:21:54,742 --> 00:21:57,042
who they do.
533
00:21:58,742 --> 00:22:00,742
You're absolutely right,
Norman.
534
00:22:00,842 --> 00:22:02,642
I can't believe
we've been the perpetrators
535
00:22:02,642 --> 00:22:04,042
of this kind of
discrimination.
536
00:22:05,442 --> 00:22:06,642
We'll see you, Norman.
537
00:22:06,642 --> 00:22:07,942
No, well, listen...
Hey, folks,
538
00:22:07,942 --> 00:22:09,442
I could still, you know,
539
00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:12,342
decorate your mountain
retreat there.
540
00:22:12,342 --> 00:22:15,242
Kim and I happen to be
people of principle, all right?
541
00:22:15,242 --> 00:22:17,642
And we put our trust in you,
our faith.
542
00:22:17,642 --> 00:22:20,842
We trusted you with our most
prized possession, our home.
543
00:22:20,942 --> 00:22:22,342
And how did you
return that trust?
544
00:22:22,342 --> 00:22:24,342
You lied to us,
you betrayed us.
545
00:22:24,442 --> 00:22:26,842
You made fools of us.
546
00:22:26,942 --> 00:22:28,442
I could do it for half price.
547
00:22:28,542 --> 00:22:29,142
Here's the key.
548
00:22:29,142 --> 00:22:30,842
There's Perrier in the fridge.
549
00:22:30,942 --> 00:22:32,442
If the neighbors ask,
you're a plumber.
550
00:22:32,542 --> 00:22:33,842
Gotcha, can do, can do.
551
00:22:33,842 --> 00:22:34,942
Thank you so much.
552
00:22:34,942 --> 00:22:36,442
Thank you.
553
00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:57,042
How 'bout those
Celtics, huh?
554
00:23:00,042 --> 00:23:02,042
What, what,
what, what?
555
00:23:02,042 --> 00:23:03,342
What?
556
00:23:03,442 --> 00:23:04,442
Norm?
557
00:23:04,442 --> 00:23:06,042
How could you do this to us?
558
00:23:06,042 --> 00:23:07,242
What? Do what?
559
00:23:07,242 --> 00:23:10,142
We're your best friends.
560
00:23:10,142 --> 00:23:12,842
I mean, I can't believe that
you didn't feel close enough
561
00:23:12,942 --> 00:23:16,142
to... share this part
of your life with us.
562
00:23:16,142 --> 00:23:17,342
This part, what?
563
00:23:17,342 --> 00:23:20,042
Guys, I'm straight,
I'm not gay.
564
00:23:20,042 --> 00:23:21,142
No, no.
565
00:23:21,242 --> 00:23:22,242
Who cares about that?
566
00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:24,142
You can get stuff
at wholesale.
567
00:23:27,342 --> 00:23:28,342
I need a sofa.
568
00:23:28,342 --> 00:23:29,142
Yeah?
569
00:23:29,142 --> 00:23:30,342
And I could use a lamp.
570
00:23:30,342 --> 00:23:32,142
And, uh, can you get me a deal
571
00:23:32,142 --> 00:23:33,242
on a good Bacca lounger?
572
00:23:33,342 --> 00:23:34,742
All right, all right.
573
00:23:34,842 --> 00:23:37,642
But I have to tell you folks
that I am not cheap.
574
00:23:37,742 --> 00:23:40,342
Even for your lover?