1
00:00:02,925 --> 00:00:05,760
Cheers is filmed before a live
studio audience.
2
00:00:05,794 --> 00:00:08,963
Excuse me, can I have
your attention please?
3
00:00:08,998 --> 00:00:11,900
It is my pleasure,
once again,
4
00:00:11,934 --> 00:00:14,769
to present the Cheers Employee
of the Month Award.
5
00:00:14,803 --> 00:00:17,872
And I am delighted to present it
to our very own, Sam Malone.
6
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Congratulations.
Bravo!
7
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
8
00:00:20,409 --> 00:00:22,677
I told you before
I don't want that thing.
9
00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,179
And don't put my picture
on the wall, either.
10
00:00:24,213 --> 00:00:25,213
I hate that stuff.
11
00:00:25,247 --> 00:00:27,515
Oh, great speech, Sammy.
12
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:28,566
Fine.
13
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,768
Carla, you haven't been
offensive this month,
14
00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:31,436
why don't you take it?
15
00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,471
Get that thing
away from me.
16
00:00:33,505 --> 00:00:35,673
Woody?
17
00:00:35,707 --> 00:00:37,875
Congratulations, you're
the Employee of the Month.
18
00:00:37,909 --> 00:00:43,131
Wow, four months in a row!
19
00:00:43,165 --> 00:00:45,934
I wasn't really expecting
this great honor.
20
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,368
I'm deeply moved.
21
00:00:47,402 --> 00:00:50,555
You know, it takes more than one
person to win this award.
22
00:00:50,589 --> 00:00:52,424
It takes teamwork.
23
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I would like to thank my...
24
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¶ Making your way
in the world today ¶
25
00:01:00,131 --> 00:01:03,234
¶ Takes everything you've got
26
00:01:03,268 --> 00:01:05,903
¶ Taking a break
from all your worries ¶
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¶ Sure would help a lot
28
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:14,245
¶ Wouldn't you like
to get away? ¶
29
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¶ Sometimes you want to go
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¶ Where everybody knows
your name ¶
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¶ And they're always
glad you came ¶
32
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¶ You want to be
where you can see ¶
33
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¶ Our troubles
are all the same ¶
34
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¶ You want to be where everybody
knows your name ¶
35
00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:39,687
¶ You want to go
where people know ¶
36
00:01:39,721 --> 00:01:42,490
¶ People are all the same
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¶ You want to go where everybody
knows your name. ¶
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Hey, you know, same to ya!
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00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,067
That's it, I've had it.
40
00:02:10,102 --> 00:02:12,570
I'm finished.
41
00:02:12,605 --> 00:02:14,322
I've been embarrassed
for the last time.
What?
42
00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:15,289
I just came on
to Rebecca
43
00:02:15,324 --> 00:02:17,308
for the I-don't-know-
how-manyth time.
44
00:02:17,342 --> 00:02:19,844
4,659.
45
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:21,646
Thank you, Carla.
46
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And she shot me down once again.
47
00:02:23,932 --> 00:02:25,666
Well, you know, that's it.
48
00:02:25,701 --> 00:02:27,067
That's the last time
I'm gonna do that.
49
00:02:27,102 --> 00:02:30,638
I'm gonna get my self respect
back starting right now.
50
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:34,291
Whoo!
Feels damn good, I'll tell you.
51
00:02:35,694 --> 00:02:36,961
You know, Sam,
there's one way
52
00:02:36,996 --> 00:02:38,462
to get Rebecca that
you've overlooked.
53
00:02:38,497 --> 00:02:40,498
Hold that self-respect thought.
54
00:02:40,532 --> 00:02:41,666
What do you got?
55
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You see, it's been
psychologically documented
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00:02:43,669 --> 00:02:48,439
that all human animals have
a neurotic hair-trigger response
57
00:02:48,474 --> 00:02:51,776
to at least one
of the five sensory stimuli.
58
00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:53,878
It could be
anything, actually.
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00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:57,114
Oh, it's the sound of
the surf pounding
against the shore,
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00:02:57,149 --> 00:03:00,885
the smell of honeysuckle
on a warm summer night,
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00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,721
the taste of a vintage
Chateauneuf du Pape,
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00:03:03,756 --> 00:03:09,510
fire-red fingernails dancing
through your chest hair...
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00:03:10,729 --> 00:03:17,851
a black lace teddy straining
against its fleshy cargo.
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00:03:17,886 --> 00:03:20,537
Frasier, man,
snap out of it.
65
00:03:20,572 --> 00:03:22,039
In a minute, Sam.
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00:03:27,279 --> 00:03:29,713
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
67
00:03:29,747 --> 00:03:30,882
Some mornings
68
00:03:30,916 --> 00:03:32,600
you get up, you look at yourself
in the mirror
69
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:34,501
and you've got to ask, "Why me?"
70
00:03:34,536 --> 00:03:35,803
Cliffie, it's just a haircut.
71
00:03:35,837 --> 00:03:37,105
It'll grow back.
72
00:03:38,273 --> 00:03:40,241
Nah, I'm over that, Normie.
73
00:03:40,275 --> 00:03:41,909
I got saddled with a job
74
00:03:41,943 --> 00:03:44,645
of breaking in
a new postal employee.
75
00:03:44,679 --> 00:03:46,046
Yeah, so I told the supervisor
76
00:03:46,081 --> 00:03:48,849
to send the greenhorn down here
and I could size him up.
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00:03:48,883 --> 00:03:50,684
Boy, they made you
a trainer, huh?
78
00:03:50,718 --> 00:03:53,654
Well, that sounds like a
compliment to me, Cliff.
79
00:03:53,688 --> 00:03:57,041
You really are a civilian,
aren't you, Sammy?
80
00:03:57,075 --> 00:03:58,709
It's a nightmare.
81
00:03:58,743 --> 00:04:00,544
Those rookies, yeah,
they just get in your way,
82
00:04:00,578 --> 00:04:02,880
ask you stupid questions,
throw off your whole rhythm.
83
00:04:02,914 --> 00:04:05,466
Oh, God, this won't slow down
the mail, will it?
84
00:04:09,271 --> 00:04:11,255
Uh-oh, Cliff, greenhorn alert.
85
00:04:11,289 --> 00:04:13,157
Excuse me, Cliff Clavin?
86
00:04:13,191 --> 00:04:14,392
I am.
87
00:04:14,426 --> 00:04:16,794
I'm your trainee,
Margaret O'Keefe.
88
00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:18,863
Straighten up, O'Keefe.
You're in uniform.
89
00:04:25,804 --> 00:04:28,873
I wasn't informed
you were a woman.
90
00:04:28,907 --> 00:04:30,742
Sorry, sir.
91
00:04:30,776 --> 00:04:32,443
Well, no offense, sister,
92
00:04:32,478 --> 00:04:34,746
but I just don't believe
that women belong
in the trenches.
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00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,881
I mean, they're fine
for sorting mail
or selling stamps,
94
00:04:36,915 --> 00:04:39,384
but when you're lugging
a 40-pound sack
95
00:04:39,418 --> 00:04:40,618
up a hill with a Nor'easter
96
00:04:40,652 --> 00:04:42,353
hitting you right smack
in the kisser,
97
00:04:42,388 --> 00:04:44,288
you don't have time
to fret about going home
98
00:04:44,322 --> 00:04:46,491
and soaking your delicates.
99
00:04:47,993 --> 00:04:49,960
I wear cotton
briefs, sir.
100
00:04:49,995 --> 00:04:51,629
That'll be enough of that,
O'Keefe.
101
00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:56,033
Permission
to speak freely, sir?
102
00:04:56,067 --> 00:04:59,370
Permission granted.
103
00:04:59,405 --> 00:05:00,905
I requested you
as my trainer
104
00:05:00,939 --> 00:05:02,573
because I want
to learn hard
105
00:05:02,608 --> 00:05:04,241
and I want to learn right.
106
00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:05,726
I want to be
the best carrier
107
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,495
in the department,
next to you, of course.
108
00:05:08,530 --> 00:05:09,763
Because I love
the post office
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00:05:09,798 --> 00:05:11,966
more than my life itself.
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Good grief, there's another one.
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00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,838
The post office
is in my blood;
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my father was a carrier,
and his father before him.
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It's been
a life-long dream of mine
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00:05:22,677 --> 00:05:23,977
to wear the eagle
on my sleeve
115
00:05:24,012 --> 00:05:26,947
and to be a part
of the few, the proud...
116
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The undateable.
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Oh, your attitude
118
00:05:33,155 --> 00:05:34,522
is commendable
there, O'Keefe.
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00:05:34,556 --> 00:05:37,991
Look, I think
you better mosey
on home now
120
00:05:38,026 --> 00:05:39,726
and grab
some shuteye.
121
00:05:39,761 --> 00:05:42,863
You're going
to need plenty of sleep.
122
00:05:42,897 --> 00:05:45,699
Tomorrow is TV Guide day.
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I'll do you proud, sir.
124
00:05:49,637 --> 00:05:51,672
Yeah, we'll see about that.
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00:05:54,842 --> 00:05:58,312
Is it my imagination, or was
that woman coming on to me?
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00:05:59,981 --> 00:06:03,017
Cliffie, Walt Disney
should have had your
imagination.
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00:06:04,853 --> 00:06:06,287
Say, hi, honey.
128
00:06:06,321 --> 00:06:08,088
Um, Fras and I
were just talking
129
00:06:08,123 --> 00:06:10,591
about how sorry
we feel about you.
130
00:06:10,626 --> 00:06:12,092
Why is that, Sam?
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00:06:12,127 --> 00:06:14,629
Well, it's just that
you're always stuck
in your office,
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00:06:14,663 --> 00:06:17,331
you know, worrying about losses
and profits and career moves,
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00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:18,466
while we're out here
134
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,134
having fascinating,
135
00:06:20,168 --> 00:06:21,318
fun-filled conversations
136
00:06:21,353 --> 00:06:27,424
about things like, well,
like sexual stimuluses.
137
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:32,129
By the way, do you have,
do you have one of those?
138
00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:37,235
Well, I am driven
to a sexual frenzy
139
00:06:37,269 --> 00:06:39,436
by people who mind
their own business.
140
00:06:39,471 --> 00:06:42,340
No, no, really, listen.
141
00:06:42,374 --> 00:06:43,774
You know,
it's not like I'm going
142
00:06:43,808 --> 00:06:45,476
to do anything with it
or anything.
143
00:06:45,510 --> 00:06:46,777
Okay, I'll be honest
with you.
144
00:06:46,811 --> 00:06:50,014
I do have one
and I'll give you a hint.
145
00:06:50,048 --> 00:06:51,415
A hint?
Great, why?
146
00:06:51,449 --> 00:06:53,050
Because
you'll never get it.
147
00:06:53,085 --> 00:06:55,686
And I mean that
in every sense
of the word.
148
00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:58,388
It's a song.
149
00:06:58,423 --> 00:06:59,623
That's it?
It's a song?
150
00:06:59,657 --> 00:07:00,891
Mm-hmm.
151
00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:03,928
One little tiny song
that turned my knees
to butter
152
00:07:03,962 --> 00:07:06,230
when I was a teenager
and still does.
153
00:07:06,264 --> 00:07:06,931
Good luck, Sam.
154
00:07:06,965 --> 00:07:08,498
The clock is ticking.
155
00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:09,600
Name that tune.
156
00:07:11,236 --> 00:07:12,269
This is great; a song.
157
00:07:12,303 --> 00:07:13,070
Man, you were right, Frasier.
158
00:07:13,105 --> 00:07:14,255
Thank you.
159
00:07:14,289 --> 00:07:15,822
Wow, what luck, huh?
160
00:07:15,857 --> 00:07:17,958
I mean, how many songs
can there be?
161
00:07:29,354 --> 00:07:30,855
I've been going
over the books, Norm,
162
00:07:30,889 --> 00:07:33,390
and I think it's time
to pay your tab.
163
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:35,776
Oh, gee, thanks, Rebecca.
164
00:07:36,845 --> 00:07:39,279
I mean, it's time for you
to pay your tab.
165
00:07:39,314 --> 00:07:41,849
Me? I paid it last month.
166
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:44,218
Okay, okay, fine.
167
00:07:44,252 --> 00:07:47,087
¶ Blue on blue... hea...
168
00:07:47,121 --> 00:07:48,355
No.
169
00:07:48,390 --> 00:07:50,191
¶ Cherish is the word
that I... ¶
170
00:07:50,225 --> 00:07:51,625
No.
171
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:54,295
¶ In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby
172
00:07:54,329 --> 00:07:57,431
Right, Sam,
I was insane.
173
00:07:57,465 --> 00:08:00,033
I'll find it.
174
00:08:00,068 --> 00:08:01,902
Sam, why don't you try
"Che Gelida Manina"
175
00:08:01,936 --> 00:08:03,687
from La Boheme?
176
00:08:03,722 --> 00:08:07,208
It can be almost achingly
poignant when executed correctly
177
00:08:07,242 --> 00:08:10,777
and it does turn Lilith
into a cheap tramp.
178
00:08:12,347 --> 00:08:14,147
Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,
179
00:08:14,182 --> 00:08:15,882
aren't you overlooking
the obvious here?
180
00:08:15,917 --> 00:08:17,251
Yeah? What's that?
181
00:08:17,285 --> 00:08:19,119
"Ballad of The Green Berets."
182
00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:23,558
Oh, that's a great song.
183
00:08:23,592 --> 00:08:26,960
¶ Fighting soldiers
from the sky. ¶
184
00:08:26,995 --> 00:08:29,664
Anybody who isn't totally moved
by that song
185
00:08:29,698 --> 00:08:31,432
is somebody
I don't want to know.
186
00:08:31,466 --> 00:08:33,601
Cliff, in honor
of that song,
187
00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:35,703
why don't you put on
a little green beret,
188
00:08:35,737 --> 00:08:39,239
go outside and sit
on a land mine?
189
00:08:42,510 --> 00:08:44,378
Oh, there you are, Cliff.
190
00:08:44,412 --> 00:08:46,197
Ooh, it's Cliff now, eh?
191
00:08:46,231 --> 00:08:47,498
Training must be going
very well.
192
00:08:47,532 --> 00:08:49,166
She's a natural.
193
00:08:49,201 --> 00:08:50,934
I'm really sorry
about today.
194
00:08:50,969 --> 00:08:53,337
I can't believe I missed that
entire apartment building.
195
00:08:53,372 --> 00:08:55,589
Ah, the tradition
continues.
196
00:08:57,158 --> 00:08:59,894
Listen, Margaret,
why don't we sit
down over here
197
00:08:59,928 --> 00:09:03,464
away from those who
merely wait for the mail?
198
00:09:03,498 --> 00:09:05,533
There you go.
199
00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:06,801
Park it right there.
200
00:09:06,835 --> 00:09:08,235
I just want to tell you, Cliff,
201
00:09:08,269 --> 00:09:10,638
that I couldn't have made it
through training without you.
202
00:09:10,672 --> 00:09:12,339
You'll be graduating
with honors.
203
00:09:12,373 --> 00:09:14,308
Really?
204
00:09:14,342 --> 00:09:16,310
Well, how could you not, with
the recommendation I gave you?
205
00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:19,647
Oh, Cliff, thank you, thank you.
206
00:09:19,681 --> 00:09:20,364
Thank you.
207
00:09:26,321 --> 00:09:28,990
In honor of your achievement,
I, uh,
208
00:09:29,024 --> 00:09:32,392
went out and got you
a little gift.
209
00:09:32,427 --> 00:09:33,594
Thank you.
210
00:09:33,629 --> 00:09:35,329
You really shouldn't have.
211
00:09:35,363 --> 00:09:38,365
Arch supports.
212
00:09:38,399 --> 00:09:39,983
Yeah, yeah.
213
00:09:40,018 --> 00:09:42,003
I got you the large size, too.
214
00:09:42,037 --> 00:09:45,572
I noticed you've got a pretty
hefty pair of dogs down there.
215
00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:48,943
Cliff, you are so considerate.
216
00:09:49,978 --> 00:09:54,114
What we've been through together
has been so special.
217
00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:54,965
Yeah.
218
00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:57,801
I wish there was a way
I could be closer to you.
219
00:09:57,835 --> 00:10:00,321
Ah, scootch on over.
220
00:10:00,355 --> 00:10:03,757
No, I didn't...
Oh, never mind.
221
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:05,058
This is so embarrassing.
222
00:10:05,092 --> 00:10:06,393
I'm not good at this.
I mean,
223
00:10:06,428 --> 00:10:07,227
why would a man
like you
224
00:10:07,261 --> 00:10:09,196
even consider
someone like me?
225
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:11,899
What? What in God's name are you
trying to say here?
226
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:13,934
Cliff, do you find me
attractive?
227
00:10:13,969 --> 00:10:15,536
I mean, physically?
228
00:10:17,738 --> 00:10:18,772
Cliff, do you want
to be with me?
229
00:10:18,806 --> 00:10:19,806
I want to be with you.
230
00:10:23,244 --> 00:10:24,027
So it's a date.
231
00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:25,813
I'll come over to your place
tomorrow night.
232
00:10:25,847 --> 00:10:26,881
My place?
233
00:10:26,915 --> 00:10:29,216
No. hey, Margaret, Margaret,
whoa, hold on there.
234
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:32,720
Listen, uh, last month
my mother came out
and stayed a while,
235
00:10:32,754 --> 00:10:34,354
and she got to know
the neighbors real well,
236
00:10:34,389 --> 00:10:35,522
and I don't want word
getting back to her
237
00:10:35,557 --> 00:10:37,457
that her son
does bad things.
238
00:10:39,177 --> 00:10:42,313
Then, uh, why don't we meet
at that little motel
239
00:10:42,347 --> 00:10:44,765
just outside Zone 27?
240
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,667
Tomorrow night
after work?
241
00:10:47,903 --> 00:10:50,304
Yeah, I guess
I could make it.
242
00:11:21,019 --> 00:11:22,052
Hi, Cliff.
243
00:11:22,087 --> 00:11:23,720
Hi, Margaret.
244
00:11:23,754 --> 00:11:25,189
Come on in.
245
00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:32,029
I, uh, hope you
like the room.
246
00:11:32,063 --> 00:11:35,399
It's... it's got a view.
247
00:11:37,668 --> 00:11:40,170
Oh, the ice machine.
248
00:11:40,205 --> 00:11:42,439
It's just like you
to think of everything.
249
00:11:46,277 --> 00:11:48,178
So...
250
00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:52,016
So.
251
00:11:52,050 --> 00:11:55,486
So, uh, let me grab
your jacket there.
252
00:12:06,664 --> 00:12:09,699
Cliff, I know
this is an awkward moment.
253
00:12:09,734 --> 00:12:12,436
Couldn't we just
somehow get past it?
254
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,754
I'm for that.
255
00:12:16,758 --> 00:12:20,293
Oh, Maggie!
Maggie! Maggie!
256
00:12:20,328 --> 00:12:23,196
- Oh, Cliff!
- Oh, Maggie!
257
00:12:23,230 --> 00:12:25,583
Yes?
258
00:12:25,617 --> 00:12:27,585
It's the police!
259
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:34,141
My first time
and I get arrested.
260
00:12:36,661 --> 00:12:39,129
We aren't doing
anything illegal.
261
00:12:39,164 --> 00:12:40,664
Answer the door.
262
00:12:47,639 --> 00:12:49,006
Yes, officer?
263
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:49,840
Excuse me.
264
00:12:49,875 --> 00:12:51,742
We're questioning
all the guests.
265
00:12:51,777 --> 00:12:52,743
Do you know anything
266
00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:54,845
about this postal
vehicle parked outside?
267
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,179
It was reported stolen.
268
00:13:00,234 --> 00:13:03,003
I, uh, no, I don't know anything
about it, Officer.
269
00:13:03,037 --> 00:13:04,672
Sorry to bother you.
270
00:13:04,706 --> 00:13:06,907
Yeah, not at all, sir.
271
00:13:09,043 --> 00:13:10,076
What, are you crazy?
272
00:13:10,111 --> 00:13:14,265
You, you drove a postal vehicle
to a sleazy motel?!
273
00:13:14,299 --> 00:13:17,067
I was running late, and I didn't
want to keep you waiting.
274
00:13:17,102 --> 00:13:18,903
Keep me waiting?
275
00:13:18,937 --> 00:13:21,638
Well, for crying out loud,
Margaret.
276
00:13:21,672 --> 00:13:23,974
You signed that vehicle out
in your own name.
277
00:13:24,009 --> 00:13:25,309
Oh, boy.
278
00:13:25,343 --> 00:13:26,543
You've had it now.
You've had it.
279
00:13:26,577 --> 00:13:28,946
Oh, they're gonna drum you right
out of the service.
280
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:30,781
Well, Cliff,
you've got to help me.
281
00:13:30,815 --> 00:13:32,849
You've got to
make up a story
to cover for me.
282
00:13:32,884 --> 00:13:36,153
You want me to lie?
283
00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:37,221
You want me to jeopardize
my career?
284
00:13:37,255 --> 00:13:38,722
This is my life.
285
00:13:38,756 --> 00:13:39,756
This is my dream.
286
00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:42,926
This is my shoulder.
287
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:45,095
This is our story.
288
00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:57,374
Hello, Mrs. Howe?
289
00:13:57,409 --> 00:13:58,642
Um, I work with your daughter.
290
00:13:58,676 --> 00:13:59,977
My name is Sam Malone.
291
00:14:00,011 --> 00:14:01,395
See, I'm calling
292
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:04,698
to find out what Rebecca's
favorite song was
293
00:14:04,733 --> 00:14:05,799
when she was in school.
294
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,768
We're throwing this little party
for her.
295
00:14:07,802 --> 00:14:10,104
Uh-huh.
296
00:14:10,138 --> 00:14:11,438
Uh-huh, well, thank you.
297
00:14:11,473 --> 00:14:13,274
Yes, I do. Thank you very much.
298
00:14:13,308 --> 00:14:14,041
Bye-bye.
299
00:14:14,076 --> 00:14:16,944
"You've Lost That Loving
Feeling."
300
00:14:16,979 --> 00:14:20,114
Oh, no, Sam,
I'm just a little tired.
301
00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:24,802
No, Woody, no.
302
00:14:24,836 --> 00:14:26,036
That's Rebecca's song.
303
00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:28,372
Hold the bar down here
for a minute, will ya?
304
00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:30,574
I got to get something
out of my car.
305
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,509
Hey, Sammy.
306
00:14:32,544 --> 00:14:36,497
Woody, a bottle of bubbly,
tout de suite.
307
00:14:36,531 --> 00:14:38,199
All right, Cliffie's in
a celebrating mood.
308
00:14:38,233 --> 00:14:40,033
That hearing must have gone
pretty well, huh?
309
00:14:40,068 --> 00:14:41,668
Perfect, Norm.
310
00:14:41,703 --> 00:14:43,471
Margaret was completely
exonerated.
311
00:14:43,505 --> 00:14:44,638
You really snowed 'em, huh?
312
00:14:44,672 --> 00:14:47,007
Like a blizzard in Buffalo,
my friend.
313
00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:49,176
Yeah, I told the supervisor
that we were set upon
314
00:14:49,211 --> 00:14:51,645
by some armed thugs who then
commandeered the vehicle
315
00:14:51,679 --> 00:14:53,147
and took it for a joyride.
316
00:14:53,181 --> 00:14:55,116
A joyride in a mail truck?
317
00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:58,018
Cliffie, I've beaten those
things on foot.
318
00:14:59,387 --> 00:15:00,921
Clavin, what's come over you?
319
00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:03,273
I mean you're lying
to your superiors,
320
00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:06,276
you're breaking rules,
you're covering up.
321
00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,662
It's almost like you're
developing a personality.
322
00:15:08,696 --> 00:15:11,932
Well, Carla, the King of England
abdicated his throne
323
00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,700
for the love of a good woman.
324
00:15:13,735 --> 00:15:15,870
The least I could do
is tell a little fib.
325
00:15:17,239 --> 00:15:19,406
Well, as we say
down at the post office,
326
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,041
here's looking up
your address.
327
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:27,514
Come on, Maggie,
bottoms up.
328
00:15:27,548 --> 00:15:30,050
I can't, Cliff.
329
00:15:30,085 --> 00:15:31,585
Why?
330
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:33,254
How can we celebrate?
331
00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:34,755
We dishonored the uniform.
332
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,390
I don't feel worthy to wear it.
333
00:15:36,424 --> 00:15:38,659
Yeah, I understand.
334
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:39,760
Look, uh...
335
00:15:39,795 --> 00:15:41,962
why don't we go
back to that motel,
336
00:15:41,997 --> 00:15:43,597
lie down and talk about it, huh?
337
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,500
No, Cliff.
338
00:15:46,534 --> 00:15:48,335
Do you think I fell for you
339
00:15:48,369 --> 00:15:50,905
because you're a handsome,
sexy man?
340
00:15:52,307 --> 00:15:55,409
I fell for you because
you're handsome inside.
341
00:15:56,978 --> 00:16:00,915
But now, even though I'm the one
that corrupted you,
342
00:16:00,949 --> 00:16:02,633
you are corrupt.
343
00:16:04,669 --> 00:16:07,788
We're both dirty inside.
344
00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:11,224
Well, let's go back
to the motel,
345
00:16:11,259 --> 00:16:12,626
they cater to people like us.
346
00:16:14,362 --> 00:16:17,031
No, I can't be
with you anymore.
347
00:16:17,065 --> 00:16:19,599
I don't feel what I
felt before. I'm sorry.
348
00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:23,704
Well, uh, is there any way
we could, you know,
349
00:16:23,738 --> 00:16:25,873
get that feeling back?
350
00:16:25,907 --> 00:16:27,507
We can tell
them the truth.
351
00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:28,742
Oh, no, Margaret.
352
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:31,812
See, if you tell them the truth,
they're gonna know that I lied.
353
00:16:31,846 --> 00:16:33,180
Yes, but with your record,
354
00:16:33,214 --> 00:16:34,782
the worst that will
happen to us,
355
00:16:34,816 --> 00:16:36,750
is that we'll get
a slap on the wrist,
356
00:16:36,785 --> 00:16:38,652
and then we can get on
with our lives.
357
00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:41,254
You know what's going
to happen, don't ya?
358
00:16:41,289 --> 00:16:43,991
What we did back at that motel
359
00:16:44,025 --> 00:16:46,293
is going to become part
of the postal record.
360
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:48,796
I can live with that.
361
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:51,598
Me, too.
362
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:54,935
Do you think they'd give us
a copy of that?
363
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:03,260
You think they really rode
the carnal carrousel?
364
00:17:03,294 --> 00:17:06,196
I think it's possible.
365
00:17:06,231 --> 00:17:07,664
What a thought.
366
00:17:07,698 --> 00:17:09,032
I know.
367
00:17:09,066 --> 00:17:11,701
If you don't mind, I'd kind
of like to forget it.
368
00:17:11,736 --> 00:17:13,403
Hey, everybody.
369
00:17:13,438 --> 00:17:15,305
This is Station WSAM.
370
00:17:15,340 --> 00:17:18,308
50,000 watts of power-packed
love coming your way.
371
00:17:18,343 --> 00:17:20,177
I'll be spinning
the platters that matter here,
372
00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:23,614
and this next moldy oldie is
dedicated to the one I lust.
373
00:17:24,849 --> 00:17:25,966
Who is it?
374
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,884
The Righteous Brothers.
Uh-oh.
375
00:17:29,521 --> 00:17:31,555
Hello there, butter knees.
376
00:17:34,726 --> 00:17:40,898
¶ Whoa, my love
377
00:17:40,932 --> 00:17:43,200
¶ My darling
378
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:50,674
¶ I've hungered for your touch
379
00:17:50,709 --> 00:17:58,215
¶ A long lonely time
380
00:18:02,821 --> 00:18:04,254
¶ And time...
381
00:18:05,489 --> 00:18:12,562
¶ Goes by so slowly
382
00:18:12,597 --> 00:18:20,254
¶ And time can do so much
383
00:18:20,288 --> 00:18:32,449
¶ Are you still mine?
384
00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:35,018
¶ I need your love...
385
00:18:35,053 --> 00:18:36,252
Rebecca, this tab, look...
386
00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:44,194
¶ I need your love...
387
00:18:52,269 --> 00:18:54,638
So, uh, I can pay this
anytime you want.
388
00:18:54,672 --> 00:18:57,074
I don't know what got into me.
389
00:18:57,108 --> 00:18:58,842
Please, apologize to Vera.
390
00:18:58,876 --> 00:18:59,843
Are you kidding?
391
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,812
After that, Vera should
apologize to me.
392
00:19:04,932 --> 00:19:08,469
Hey, Mr. Peterson, how'd
it go with Miss Howe?
393
00:19:08,503 --> 00:19:11,071
Much better than
I expected, Woody.
394
00:19:16,143 --> 00:19:19,263
A slap on the wrist
she says.
395
00:19:19,297 --> 00:19:22,432
With your record, all we'll get
is a severe reprimand, she says.
396
00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:23,800
So what happens?
397
00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:30,023
She gets fired and I get six
weeks walking dreaded Zone 19.
398
00:19:30,057 --> 00:19:31,341
Zone 19?
399
00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:34,645
Rottweiler Ridge, Norm.
400
00:19:37,315 --> 00:19:39,082
Oh, what the heck.
401
00:19:39,116 --> 00:19:43,520
At least I won back the respect
of the woman I love, huh?
402
00:19:44,856 --> 00:19:47,157
Maggie,
what are you doing here?
403
00:19:47,192 --> 00:19:48,859
Cliff, I've got to talk to you.
404
00:19:48,893 --> 00:19:49,943
What's up?
405
00:19:49,977 --> 00:19:52,862
After I was fired, I wandered
around aimlessly,
406
00:19:52,897 --> 00:19:55,565
nowhere to go and didn't know
what to do.
407
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,768
And as I was crossing
the bridge,
408
00:19:57,802 --> 00:19:59,536
I actually thought I'd do
something desperate.
409
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:00,837
Oh, no, you don't mean...
410
00:20:00,871 --> 00:20:03,173
Yes, UPS.
411
00:20:08,412 --> 00:20:09,896
Then I thought, why
should I do that?
412
00:20:09,931 --> 00:20:11,532
There are alternatives.
413
00:20:11,566 --> 00:20:13,567
And I came up with
a wonderful idea.
414
00:20:13,602 --> 00:20:15,902
The Canadian Postal Service.
415
00:20:15,937 --> 00:20:17,404
Canada?
416
00:20:17,439 --> 00:20:19,406
Geez, why would you want
to go up there?
417
00:20:19,441 --> 00:20:20,941
The mail's the mail, Cliff.
418
00:20:20,975 --> 00:20:22,876
It knows no national boundaries.
419
00:20:23,712 --> 00:20:24,478
Come with me.
420
00:20:24,512 --> 00:20:25,713
What?
421
00:20:25,747 --> 00:20:27,013
I've got two tickets, Cliff.
422
00:20:27,048 --> 00:20:28,882
We could start a new life
there together.
423
00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:30,884
Geez, Maggie, I don't know.
424
00:20:30,918 --> 00:20:33,470
Go, marry her, be happy.
425
00:20:33,504 --> 00:20:35,339
Just don't have any children.
426
00:20:39,177 --> 00:20:42,830
What the heck, I mean,
we've come this far.
427
00:20:42,864 --> 00:20:44,932
We might as well go the whole
nine yards, huh?
428
00:20:44,966 --> 00:20:46,867
Let's go!
429
00:20:46,901 --> 00:20:47,534
Hold on a second.
430
00:20:47,568 --> 00:20:49,152
I'll be right with you.
431
00:20:49,187 --> 00:20:51,387
Normie, pal of mine,
432
00:20:51,422 --> 00:20:53,423
I'll be seeing ya.
433
00:20:53,457 --> 00:20:54,992
It's for the best.
434
00:20:55,026 --> 00:20:57,427
Cliff, did you just kiss
me on the neck?
435
00:20:57,461 --> 00:20:58,661
I don't know what it is.
436
00:20:58,696 --> 00:21:00,764
Nobody can keep their
lips off me today.
437
00:21:02,199 --> 00:21:03,450
Fras, take care of yourself.
438
00:21:03,485 --> 00:21:04,701
Carla, I forgive you.
439
00:21:04,735 --> 00:21:06,336
Sammy.
Cliff, wait a minute.
440
00:21:06,371 --> 00:21:08,054
Hey, man, just think about this
for a minute.
441
00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:09,289
You've only known the girl
for about a week.
442
00:21:09,324 --> 00:21:13,593
I mean, all you've shared is one
night in a motel and a huge lie.
443
00:21:13,628 --> 00:21:15,412
That's enough for me, Sammy.
444
00:21:17,081 --> 00:21:19,082
Cliff, why don't you consider
445
00:21:19,116 --> 00:21:20,918
what you'd be giving up.
446
00:21:20,952 --> 00:21:24,154
Your job, your seniority,
your pension.
447
00:21:24,188 --> 00:21:26,924
Hey, Doc, have a gander
448
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,592
at what I'm going
to be gaining.
449
00:21:28,626 --> 00:21:31,161
All right, Maggie, hitch up
those huskies.
450
00:21:31,195 --> 00:21:32,763
Canada, here we come.
451
00:21:32,797 --> 00:21:35,232
Uh, Cliff, Cliff...
Wait a minute, man.
452
00:21:35,266 --> 00:21:36,100
Give this some thought.
453
00:21:36,134 --> 00:21:37,601
Think about what
you're doing here.
454
00:21:37,635 --> 00:21:40,470
I know what you guys are doing,
and I appreciate it,
455
00:21:40,504 --> 00:21:42,940
but there's nothing you
could do or say
456
00:21:42,974 --> 00:21:45,208
that would make me
change my mind.
457
00:21:46,844 --> 00:21:49,780
¶ Fearless men who jump
and die ¶
458
00:21:49,814 --> 00:21:54,401
¶ Men who mean
just what they say ¶
459
00:21:54,435 --> 00:21:59,022
¶ The brave men
of the Green Beret. ¶
460
00:22:10,101 --> 00:22:15,739
Margaret, you're
a fine woman,
461
00:22:15,774 --> 00:22:20,010
but I can't leave
my country.
462
00:22:21,913 --> 00:22:26,200
My place is here,
in America.
463
00:22:26,284 --> 00:22:30,037
I can't leave my home.
464
00:22:30,071 --> 00:22:33,774
Can't you, can't you
stay here with me?
465
00:22:33,808 --> 00:22:35,642
I'm a mail carrier, Cliff.
466
00:22:35,676 --> 00:22:37,611
I have to deliver
the mail.
467
00:22:40,681 --> 00:22:42,549
I understand.
468
00:22:44,318 --> 00:22:46,519
But Cliff, it'll be
so terrible.
469
00:22:46,554 --> 00:22:48,922
I'll... I'll be so cold
and all alone.
470
00:22:48,957 --> 00:22:51,959
Who will keep me warm?
471
00:22:51,993 --> 00:22:55,395
You'll do fine, Margaret.
472
00:22:55,430 --> 00:22:57,431
Women have that
extra layer of fat.
473
00:23:04,472 --> 00:23:07,641
Carry on, O'Keefe.
474
00:23:07,675 --> 00:23:10,377
I'll never forget
you, Cliff Clavin.
475
00:23:12,012 --> 00:23:13,313
Good-bye.
476
00:23:15,082 --> 00:23:20,103
¶ 100 men will test one day
477
00:23:20,137 --> 00:23:24,607
¶ But only three wear
the Green Beret. ¶