1 00:00:01,045 --> 00:00:04,114 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,148 --> 00:00:05,365 All right, here you go, Cliffie. 3 00:00:05,399 --> 00:00:06,567 How about getting your mom 4 00:00:06,601 --> 00:00:08,535 a pair of these soothing, gel-filled insoles, 5 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,270 and odor eliminators. 6 00:00:10,304 --> 00:00:13,373 It's only her birthday, it's not Christmas. 7 00:00:13,407 --> 00:00:15,742 How about one of these Lucite snack trays 8 00:00:15,777 --> 00:00:17,744 that plays the theme from Cats? 9 00:00:17,779 --> 00:00:20,214 Yeah, Valentine's Day, 1963. 10 00:00:20,248 --> 00:00:22,950 Back then it played "Exodus." 11 00:00:22,984 --> 00:00:24,617 Hummingbird feeder? 12 00:00:24,652 --> 00:00:27,437 Come on, you guys are just being silly now, right? 13 00:00:27,471 --> 00:00:28,739 Well, then, Cliff, I'm afraid 14 00:00:28,773 --> 00:00:32,242 you're going to spend a little more than $1.99 for your mom's gift. 15 00:00:32,276 --> 00:00:33,710 Yeah, you're right, Normie. 16 00:00:33,745 --> 00:00:35,212 You only turn 70 once. 17 00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,148 Speaking as a mom, 18 00:00:38,183 --> 00:00:39,583 you know, when my kids give me gifts, 19 00:00:39,617 --> 00:00:41,484 the ones that always mean the most to me are the ones 20 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:42,853 they make themselves. 21 00:00:42,887 --> 00:00:46,523 For instance, look at this little key chain here. 22 00:00:46,558 --> 00:00:49,592 Anthony made this for me the first year he went away to camp. 23 00:00:49,627 --> 00:00:52,029 I carried it with me ever since. 24 00:00:52,063 --> 00:00:54,747 I think it might be the most precious thing I own. 25 00:00:54,782 --> 00:00:56,316 Well, I'll give you three bucks for it. 26 00:00:56,351 --> 00:00:58,385 Done. 27 00:01:04,075 --> 00:01:06,643 ¶ Making your way in the world today ¶ 28 00:01:06,677 --> 00:01:09,713 ¶ Takes everything you've got 29 00:01:09,747 --> 00:01:12,549 ¶ Taking a break from all your worries ¶ 30 00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:15,652 ¶ Sure would help a lot 31 00:01:15,686 --> 00:01:21,090 ¶ Wouldn't you like to get away? ¶ 32 00:01:21,125 --> 00:01:23,777 ¶ Sometimes you want to go 33 00:01:23,811 --> 00:01:28,665 ¶ Where everybody knows your name ¶ 34 00:01:28,699 --> 00:01:33,904 ¶ And they're always glad you came ¶ 35 00:01:33,938 --> 00:01:35,906 ¶ You want to be where you can see ¶ 36 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:38,909 ¶ Our troubles are all the same ¶ 37 00:01:38,943 --> 00:01:43,680 ¶ You want to be where everybody knows your name ¶ 38 00:01:43,714 --> 00:01:46,817 ¶ You want to go where people know ¶ 39 00:01:46,851 --> 00:01:48,952 ¶ People are all the same 40 00:01:48,986 --> 00:01:53,523 ¶ You want to go where everybody knows your name. ¶ 41 00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:11,241 Sam, you're working a big party the 26th at Mr. Gaines'. 42 00:02:11,276 --> 00:02:12,443 Another big party... 43 00:02:12,478 --> 00:02:14,846 How come you always get roped into running these things? 44 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:15,913 I'm not running this. 45 00:02:15,948 --> 00:02:17,247 I'm just delivering the message. 46 00:02:17,282 --> 00:02:19,000 Yes, I will be attending the party, 47 00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:20,268 but as an honored guest. 48 00:02:20,302 --> 00:02:22,970 An honored guest who happens to show up a couple of hours early 49 00:02:23,005 --> 00:02:25,072 and leave a couple hours late. 50 00:02:25,107 --> 00:02:27,041 And I will do as any other good guest will: 51 00:02:27,075 --> 00:02:30,778 help clean up, and maybe park a few cars. 52 00:02:30,812 --> 00:02:32,880 So what's the shindig for this time? 53 00:02:32,915 --> 00:02:35,849 Oh, it's one of those welcome-back-from-your-fabulous 54 00:02:35,884 --> 00:02:37,285 all-expense-paid-trip- to-Europe, 55 00:02:37,319 --> 00:02:38,352 you-sniveling-snot-brat 56 00:02:38,387 --> 00:02:41,755 of-a-vice-president's- daughter's tennis brunch. 57 00:02:43,091 --> 00:02:44,959 Gee, I've never been to one of those. 58 00:02:45,911 --> 00:02:46,961 Good. 59 00:02:46,995 --> 00:02:48,629 You're tending bar. 60 00:02:48,663 --> 00:02:49,663 There's the address. 61 00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:50,931 I'll see you at 10:00, Sunday morning. 62 00:02:50,966 --> 00:02:53,968 She played right into my hands. 63 00:02:57,940 --> 00:02:59,607 If I do say so myself, 64 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:01,208 I do throw a lovely party. 65 00:03:02,110 --> 00:03:03,561 Oh, Mr. Gaines, 66 00:03:03,595 --> 00:03:05,062 I don't believe I've been introduced 67 00:03:05,096 --> 00:03:06,930 to the guest of honor, your lovely daughter. 68 00:03:06,965 --> 00:03:08,632 Oh, Kelly would love to meet you. 69 00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:13,471 Oh, she's busy. 70 00:03:13,505 --> 00:03:15,106 Jack Daniels, neat. 71 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:16,890 Coming right up, sir. 72 00:03:16,925 --> 00:03:18,292 Say, aren't you Sam Malone? 73 00:03:18,327 --> 00:03:19,960 Didn't you used to be a pitcher? 74 00:03:19,995 --> 00:03:21,295 Yep, that's me. 75 00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:22,830 Now you're doing this? 76 00:03:22,864 --> 00:03:24,081 Well, 77 00:03:24,115 --> 00:03:25,466 nothing wrong with tending bar. 78 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:26,667 It's good, honest work. 79 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,120 Uh, here's a little something for you. 80 00:03:37,663 --> 00:03:39,564 Those rich snobs, man. 81 00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:42,700 They think they can look down their noses at you, 82 00:03:42,734 --> 00:03:44,401 and then make everything better by slipping you a measly... 83 00:03:44,436 --> 00:03:46,771 50 bucks? 84 00:03:49,691 --> 00:03:50,758 Two white wines, please. 85 00:03:50,793 --> 00:03:52,359 Yes, sir. Coming right up here. 86 00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:57,265 You know, Woody, I tell ya, 87 00:03:57,299 --> 00:03:58,532 it's a long way 88 00:03:58,566 --> 00:04:00,434 from pitching in the major leagues 89 00:04:00,468 --> 00:04:01,969 to slinging drinks. 90 00:04:03,255 --> 00:04:04,172 What am I gonna do, you know? 91 00:04:04,206 --> 00:04:06,724 I mean, life's dealt me this lousy hand. 92 00:04:06,759 --> 00:04:08,508 I guess I'm just gonna have 93 00:04:08,543 --> 00:04:09,827 to play it out, huh? 94 00:04:09,861 --> 00:04:11,695 I'm sorry, sir. 95 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,130 Uh, there are your drinks. 96 00:04:13,164 --> 00:04:14,248 Thank you. 97 00:04:14,282 --> 00:04:16,433 Oh, bless you. 98 00:04:21,139 --> 00:04:24,074 I'm definitely on to something here. 99 00:04:27,145 --> 00:04:28,261 Excuse me, 100 00:04:28,296 --> 00:04:29,480 bartender. 101 00:04:29,514 --> 00:04:30,731 A little more champagne. 102 00:04:30,765 --> 00:04:32,116 Sure. 103 00:04:32,150 --> 00:04:34,585 Maybe I'll get a tip, too, Sam. 104 00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:37,955 Listen, this whining for dollars routine is mine. 105 00:04:39,758 --> 00:04:43,060 Anyway, I'll be summering in D.C., God help me. 106 00:04:43,094 --> 00:04:44,895 Dad's favoring me with the option of going up 107 00:04:44,929 --> 00:04:47,298 on the Hill to page or being a clerk. 108 00:04:47,332 --> 00:04:49,033 So what do you think? 109 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,451 Oh, uh, excuse me for interrupting, 110 00:04:50,485 --> 00:04:51,785 but I'd go with the clerk job. 111 00:04:51,819 --> 00:04:55,923 I had a blast the summer I clerked at the Piggly Wiggly. 112 00:04:57,426 --> 00:04:59,226 Uh... 113 00:04:59,261 --> 00:05:00,327 I'm sure you did, 114 00:05:00,362 --> 00:05:03,697 but I was talking about being a legal clerk. 115 00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:05,833 Oh, this was all in the up and up. 116 00:05:08,937 --> 00:05:10,972 Are you always this obtuse? 117 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,322 The cummerbund 118 00:05:12,357 --> 00:05:14,825 makes my waist look thick. 119 00:05:18,196 --> 00:05:19,229 Yeah... 120 00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:20,230 yeah, thick. 121 00:05:20,265 --> 00:05:22,116 That's the word I was searching for. 122 00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,534 Write it on your hand. 123 00:05:23,568 --> 00:05:25,436 You'll never forget it. 124 00:05:27,072 --> 00:05:28,940 He's very funny. 125 00:05:31,109 --> 00:05:32,293 Well, here's to you, Malone. 126 00:05:32,327 --> 00:05:34,562 And, uh, I wish you lots of luck 127 00:05:34,596 --> 00:05:36,330 on that triple bypass. 128 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,567 Thank you. 129 00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:41,102 Bless your heart. 130 00:05:44,072 --> 00:05:46,307 You having a heart problem, Sam? 131 00:05:46,341 --> 00:05:49,776 Yeah, it feels like there's something pressing on it. 132 00:05:49,811 --> 00:05:52,679 Maybe like... all this cash. 133 00:05:56,751 --> 00:05:59,586 Excuse me, uh, bartender. 134 00:05:59,621 --> 00:06:00,854 Can I give you a little tip? 135 00:06:00,889 --> 00:06:04,124 Looking good, Sam. 136 00:06:04,158 --> 00:06:05,358 Sure. 137 00:06:05,393 --> 00:06:07,144 For the rest of the afternoon, 138 00:06:07,178 --> 00:06:09,279 just keep your mouth shut. 139 00:06:09,314 --> 00:06:10,898 Excuse me? 140 00:06:10,932 --> 00:06:15,303 You're here to work, not to chitchat with the guests. 141 00:06:15,337 --> 00:06:17,838 You think just because you're rich 142 00:06:17,872 --> 00:06:19,573 you can boss people around? 143 00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:21,508 We've got guys like you back in Hanover. 144 00:06:21,543 --> 00:06:23,077 You know what we call them? 145 00:06:23,111 --> 00:06:23,627 What? 146 00:06:23,661 --> 00:06:25,712 "Sir." 147 00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:30,801 But after we say it, we roll our eyes. 148 00:06:36,858 --> 00:06:39,460 You know, kid, you're really starting to annoy me. 149 00:06:39,494 --> 00:06:41,094 I think I'm going to teach you some manners. 150 00:06:41,129 --> 00:06:42,329 Step outside. 151 00:06:42,364 --> 00:06:43,814 Uh, uh, I'm sorry, all right? 152 00:06:43,849 --> 00:06:45,015 I was out of line. 153 00:06:45,050 --> 00:06:46,483 I don't want to fight. 154 00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:48,502 Oh, you're not as stupid as you look. 155 00:06:48,536 --> 00:06:51,304 Now I want to fight. 156 00:06:51,339 --> 00:06:52,873 Whoa, whoa, what's going on here, man? 157 00:06:52,907 --> 00:06:56,243 This guy just said I wasn't as stupid as I look, Sam. 158 00:06:56,277 --> 00:06:59,079 Whoa, whoa, come here. 159 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,547 Listen, whoa, whoa, stop. 160 00:07:00,581 --> 00:07:02,415 I mean it. Really, listen, before you go out there, 161 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:03,884 let me just say a couple of things here. 162 00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:05,919 Now I've been a bartender for quite a few years 163 00:07:05,953 --> 00:07:07,888 and I've broken up a lot of fights in my day. 164 00:07:07,922 --> 00:07:09,756 And I'll tell you no matter who's involved, 165 00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:12,192 whether they're rich guys or poor guys, 166 00:07:12,227 --> 00:07:14,828 tall guys or short guys, 167 00:07:14,862 --> 00:07:17,197 fat guys, skinny guys, 168 00:07:17,232 --> 00:07:19,066 guys with speech impediments... 169 00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,034 What's your point? 170 00:07:21,069 --> 00:07:24,305 Well, the point is, that usually by this point in the story, 171 00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:26,573 the guys would forget what they're angry about 172 00:07:26,608 --> 00:07:28,275 and they'd kind of wander away. 173 00:07:28,310 --> 00:07:31,896 Yeah, well, I, I, uh... 174 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:34,197 I guess this isn't the right time or place. 175 00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:36,116 Yeah, you're right. 176 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,567 All right, there you go. 177 00:07:37,602 --> 00:07:38,769 Very good, very good. 178 00:07:38,803 --> 00:07:41,271 Now why don't you just go back to the bar here, Woody. 179 00:07:41,305 --> 00:07:44,108 Will you tell me the rest of the story later, Sam? 180 00:07:55,319 --> 00:07:56,754 Well, maybe we'll, uh... 181 00:07:56,788 --> 00:07:59,956 we'll meet again, when your daddy isn't around. 182 00:07:59,991 --> 00:08:02,659 I don't need him to protect me. 183 00:08:02,694 --> 00:08:05,830 I'll meet you anywhere, anytime. 184 00:08:05,864 --> 00:08:09,099 You can find me at Cheers. 185 00:08:11,452 --> 00:08:12,853 I'll see you there tomorrow. 186 00:08:12,887 --> 00:08:14,521 I'll be there with bells on. 187 00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:18,359 That's just an expression. 188 00:08:25,733 --> 00:08:26,933 Excuse me, please. 189 00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:27,968 Excuse me. 190 00:08:28,002 --> 00:08:28,886 Yeah? 191 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:30,437 Sam, I heard what you've been doing. 192 00:08:30,472 --> 00:08:33,240 Going around giving everyone a hard luck story, 193 00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:34,808 so they give you big tips. 194 00:08:34,842 --> 00:08:36,743 I find that completely unprofessional, 195 00:08:36,778 --> 00:08:38,079 and I will not condone it. 196 00:08:38,113 --> 00:08:40,314 I'm going to dock you a day's pay. 197 00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:43,317 Did you hear that? 198 00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:50,223 Woody, 199 00:08:50,258 --> 00:08:50,908 cognac 200 00:08:50,942 --> 00:08:52,759 for all my friends. 201 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,361 We're celebrating this year's recipient 202 00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:55,596 of the Fisk Foundation grant. 203 00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:56,896 All right. 204 00:08:56,931 --> 00:08:58,048 I knew you could do it, buddy. 205 00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,216 What the hell is it? 206 00:09:00,135 --> 00:09:01,885 It's a very prestigious and lucrative fellowship 207 00:09:01,919 --> 00:09:04,221 that will enable me, finally, after all these years, 208 00:09:04,255 --> 00:09:05,322 to complete my treatise. 209 00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:07,991 "Man's need to work, the never-ending drive. 210 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:11,462 To build, create and achieve." 211 00:09:11,496 --> 00:09:12,613 Yeah, must feel pretty good. 212 00:09:12,647 --> 00:09:13,614 Oh, you bet. 213 00:09:13,648 --> 00:09:16,416 If I can cop one more fat grant, it's loaf city. 214 00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:22,456 Ah. 215 00:09:22,491 --> 00:09:25,125 The only thing missing now is a fine cigar. 216 00:09:25,159 --> 00:09:26,827 Well, allow me. 217 00:09:26,862 --> 00:09:28,596 Carla, three of your finest Tampas, please. 218 00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:31,198 You got it, gentlemen. 219 00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:33,334 Look at these beauties. 220 00:09:33,368 --> 00:09:34,835 That'll be 45 cents. 221 00:09:37,038 --> 00:09:42,192 Carla, we asked for a cigar, not this flammable bratwurst. 222 00:09:44,078 --> 00:09:46,130 Come on, Fras, these are pretty tasty. 223 00:09:46,164 --> 00:09:47,714 Yeah, and they outlast the others 224 00:09:47,748 --> 00:09:50,317 by what, a good, eight or nine hours. 225 00:09:50,352 --> 00:09:52,953 Cliffie, make a smoke ring go around my head the way you do. 226 00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:54,488 Uh-huh. 227 00:09:59,828 --> 00:10:02,362 Okay, Boyd, I'm here. 228 00:10:02,397 --> 00:10:04,798 Yeah, so am I. 229 00:10:04,832 --> 00:10:07,801 Course, I'm always here, so it's no big deal. 230 00:10:07,835 --> 00:10:11,938 You know, I wouldn't feel right beating you senseless, 231 00:10:11,973 --> 00:10:13,907 unless I warn you in advance, 232 00:10:13,941 --> 00:10:16,477 I was on the boxing team at Princeton. 233 00:10:16,511 --> 00:10:18,812 Yeah? Well, while you're beating me senseless, 234 00:10:18,846 --> 00:10:20,180 keep this in mind: 235 00:10:20,215 --> 00:10:24,518 I was first alternate on the Hanover High Boxing Squad. 236 00:10:24,552 --> 00:10:26,753 What is that supposed to mean? 237 00:10:26,787 --> 00:10:28,822 It means if anybody got sick or hurt, I'd be the one... 238 00:10:28,856 --> 00:10:30,724 No! 239 00:10:32,027 --> 00:10:35,695 I mean, is that supposed to make you a tough guy? 240 00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,364 Tough enough. 241 00:10:37,399 --> 00:10:40,134 Yeah, well, proof is in the pudding. 242 00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:41,685 All right, that does it. 243 00:10:41,719 --> 00:10:43,804 Nobody says that to me. 244 00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:47,458 Who wants to see a rich boy get his butt whupped? 245 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,128 Woody! Woody! Woody! 246 00:10:51,162 --> 00:10:52,229 Wait a minute, wait a minute! 247 00:10:52,263 --> 00:10:53,730 I can't leave here. 248 00:10:53,764 --> 00:10:55,916 Look, if you're gonna fight, go fight in the back. 249 00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:58,352 But remember, you gotta bus your own blood. 250 00:10:58,386 --> 00:10:59,369 Let's go. 251 00:10:59,403 --> 00:11:04,107 Woody, Woody, Woody, 252 00:11:04,142 --> 00:11:06,276 Woody, Woody, Woody, Woody... 253 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:17,354 Rich guy! Rich guy! Rich guy! Rich guy! 254 00:11:30,119 --> 00:11:32,903 Ugh, did I get struck by lightning? 255 00:11:32,937 --> 00:11:34,838 No, Woody. 256 00:11:34,873 --> 00:11:38,225 Oh, right, I guess that only happens once in your life. 257 00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:43,231 He's okay. 258 00:11:43,265 --> 00:11:45,800 Gee, I hate for you guys to see me like this, 259 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,568 all dopey and muddle-headed. 260 00:11:50,539 --> 00:11:52,773 Yeah, we barely recognize you. 261 00:11:54,343 --> 00:11:58,079 We Boyds don't appreciate having our faces caved in. 262 00:11:58,113 --> 00:11:59,013 Yeah? 263 00:11:59,047 --> 00:12:00,982 I'm gonna get that guy. 264 00:12:01,016 --> 00:12:02,216 Calm down, Woody. 265 00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:04,685 Isn't it enough that you left little bits of face 266 00:12:04,719 --> 00:12:05,853 in his pinkie ring? 267 00:12:08,356 --> 00:12:11,492 And your nose really messed up his shoeshine when you fell. 268 00:12:14,797 --> 00:12:15,830 I'm gonna get that guy. 269 00:12:15,864 --> 00:12:17,364 I'm gonna get him good. 270 00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:18,399 Oh, come on, Woody. 271 00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,067 What do you... how can you get him, man? 272 00:12:20,102 --> 00:12:22,770 He's rich, he's smart, he's in good shape, he's tough; 273 00:12:22,805 --> 00:12:25,006 hangs out with a better class of people... 274 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,073 Hey! Hey! 275 00:12:26,108 --> 00:12:28,709 You know what I'm talking about, guys. 276 00:12:28,743 --> 00:12:31,145 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 277 00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:32,479 Hey! Hey! 278 00:12:36,919 --> 00:12:38,352 How can I get that guy? 279 00:12:38,386 --> 00:12:40,888 He must have some weak spot. 280 00:12:40,923 --> 00:12:43,291 Oh, hi. I hope I'm not too late. 281 00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:45,026 I heard my boyfriend was coming here 282 00:12:45,060 --> 00:12:46,227 to fight that nice bartender. 283 00:12:46,261 --> 00:12:47,228 Fight?! 284 00:12:47,262 --> 00:12:48,595 I've had sneezes 285 00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,897 that lasted longer. 286 00:12:51,533 --> 00:12:55,069 Oh, I am so sorry Nash did this. 287 00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:57,205 He has such a ridiculous temper. 288 00:12:57,239 --> 00:13:02,710 If there's anything I can do, please, don't hesitate to ask. 289 00:13:02,744 --> 00:13:05,079 Are your hands just naturally this soft, 290 00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:07,365 or you use a special lotion? 291 00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:10,284 Lotion, but you can't buy it in the States. 292 00:13:10,319 --> 00:13:11,985 Smells good, too. 293 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,588 No, it's fragrance free. 294 00:13:13,622 --> 00:13:15,122 You smell my hair. 295 00:13:15,156 --> 00:13:18,626 I rinse it in an essence of Belgian wild flowers. 296 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:21,829 They make a boy's version? 297 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,269 I'll have my personal shopper check and send you a case. 298 00:13:28,303 --> 00:13:31,171 I feel just terrible about what Nash did. 299 00:13:31,206 --> 00:13:33,574 It'd be a shame if you got a scar on that cute face. 300 00:13:34,893 --> 00:13:36,059 I'll be okay. 301 00:13:36,094 --> 00:13:38,128 Okay. Bye. 302 00:13:38,163 --> 00:13:38,829 Bye. 303 00:13:40,815 --> 00:13:43,667 Now, how could I get that Nash guy? 304 00:13:43,702 --> 00:13:44,702 Woody? 305 00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,838 Woody, I think it's kind of obvious, 306 00:13:46,872 --> 00:13:48,306 if you know what I mean. 307 00:13:50,108 --> 00:13:51,909 Beat up his girlfriend? 308 00:13:55,780 --> 00:13:59,449 I don't think you could. 309 00:13:59,484 --> 00:14:00,635 Whoa. 310 00:14:00,669 --> 00:14:02,270 Come on. 311 00:14:02,304 --> 00:14:04,538 Now think with me here. Think. 312 00:14:04,573 --> 00:14:05,939 Now, have you met anybody recently, 313 00:14:05,974 --> 00:14:07,508 kind of cute, you know? 314 00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:11,011 Somebody who smells good and has hair down to here? 315 00:14:11,045 --> 00:14:13,614 I'm interested in what you're saying, Sam, 316 00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:15,249 but I just had a thought. 317 00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:18,686 If I went out with that girl, I could make Nash real jealous. 318 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,889 Woody! Woody! Woody... 319 00:14:21,924 --> 00:14:24,775 I'm back! Woody! Woody! Woody... 320 00:14:24,809 --> 00:14:28,179 This has been a fabulous day. 321 00:14:28,213 --> 00:14:31,082 As I walked through the halls of headquarters, 322 00:14:31,116 --> 00:14:32,816 I received nothing but kudos 323 00:14:32,851 --> 00:14:34,985 for my fantastic party yesterday. 324 00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:37,221 Mr. Gaines said I displayed leadership, 325 00:14:37,256 --> 00:14:39,657 imagination and class. 326 00:14:39,691 --> 00:14:42,260 I am it. 327 00:14:42,294 --> 00:14:44,595 That's great, Miss Howe. 328 00:14:44,629 --> 00:14:47,798 Listen, do you think it'd be okay if I took an hour off? 329 00:14:47,832 --> 00:14:49,333 Of course, Woody, take two. 330 00:14:49,368 --> 00:14:50,634 You deserve it. 331 00:14:50,669 --> 00:14:51,869 Oh, great. 332 00:14:51,903 --> 00:14:53,938 I'm going to go ask your boss for permission 333 00:14:53,972 --> 00:14:55,073 to date his daughter, okay? 334 00:14:55,107 --> 00:14:55,873 Okay. 335 00:14:56,641 --> 00:14:59,226 No! 336 00:15:08,036 --> 00:15:09,253 And so, Mr. Gaines, 337 00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:11,321 please allow me to stress again, 338 00:15:11,356 --> 00:15:13,290 in the strongest way possible, 339 00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:15,192 that my being here in no way reflects 340 00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:16,827 upon Miss Rebecca Howe 341 00:15:16,862 --> 00:15:20,798 or her chance for advancement in your corporation. 342 00:15:20,832 --> 00:15:23,701 I'll take that under advisement. 343 00:15:23,736 --> 00:15:25,603 Now, if you'll please get on with your business? 344 00:15:25,637 --> 00:15:27,154 Yes, sir. 345 00:15:27,189 --> 00:15:29,089 My business is that I'd like permission 346 00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:32,059 to date your daughter Kelly. 347 00:15:32,093 --> 00:15:33,360 I think you'll find 348 00:15:33,395 --> 00:15:35,713 that I'm generous, hardworking, 349 00:15:35,747 --> 00:15:38,315 friendly, cheerful, and honest. 350 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,635 Oh, yeah, and I'm funny, too. 351 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:44,405 Well presented, young man. 352 00:15:44,439 --> 00:15:46,907 And a charming, old-fashioned gesture, besides. 353 00:15:46,941 --> 00:15:48,141 Ready to hit the links, Walter? 354 00:15:48,176 --> 00:15:50,010 In a minute, Nash. 355 00:15:50,044 --> 00:15:51,178 Anyway, as you can see, 356 00:15:51,212 --> 00:15:53,347 your visit has been in vain, Mr. Boyd. 357 00:15:53,382 --> 00:15:55,750 My daughter Kelly has been dating young Nash here 358 00:15:55,784 --> 00:15:56,617 for some years now. 359 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,718 Well, Boyd, 360 00:15:57,753 --> 00:15:59,119 how's that chin healing? 361 00:15:59,153 --> 00:16:01,939 Never mind my chin, how's your ring? 362 00:16:07,145 --> 00:16:09,647 Nash, it seems Mr. Boyd here has his eye on Kelly. 363 00:16:09,681 --> 00:16:12,216 Oh, what a coincidence. 364 00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:15,252 Only yesterday, he had his eye on my Topsiders. 365 00:16:15,286 --> 00:16:16,887 Come on, son. 366 00:16:16,922 --> 00:16:18,155 We're on the tee in ten minutes. 367 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,857 That sounds good, 368 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,059 but I have to warn you, I've never played before. 369 00:16:25,563 --> 00:16:28,098 He's talking to me, Gomer. 370 00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:31,134 You'll show yourself out? 371 00:16:36,441 --> 00:16:38,176 Well, you better get going, Boyd. 372 00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:40,311 You're going to be late for that bus. 373 00:16:40,345 --> 00:16:42,413 A lot you know. 374 00:16:42,447 --> 00:16:46,184 It doesn't come around for another 15 minutes. 375 00:16:47,286 --> 00:16:48,552 Nash? 376 00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:50,888 Let's do it! 377 00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,757 I'll see you later, Kelly. 378 00:16:53,791 --> 00:16:56,626 Got to go let your dad beat me at golf again. 379 00:17:00,131 --> 00:17:04,268 Well, I better be going, too. 380 00:17:07,189 --> 00:17:08,389 Wait a minute. 381 00:17:09,424 --> 00:17:10,841 I heard your dad's answer 382 00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:11,975 and I heard Nash's answer, 383 00:17:12,010 --> 00:17:14,311 but I still haven't heard your answer yet. 384 00:17:14,346 --> 00:17:17,048 Oh, gosh, Woody, I couldn't. 385 00:17:17,082 --> 00:17:19,417 I understand. 386 00:17:23,021 --> 00:17:24,988 Wait a minute. 387 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:28,843 Why not? 388 00:17:28,877 --> 00:17:30,778 I'm not Nash's property, 389 00:17:30,812 --> 00:17:33,981 and I just hate it when he always assumes that I am. 390 00:17:34,016 --> 00:17:36,917 Well, beans, this'll show him! 391 00:17:36,952 --> 00:17:40,054 Aw, that's great. That is terrific. 392 00:17:40,088 --> 00:17:41,355 All right. 393 00:17:41,389 --> 00:17:43,524 I'll pick you up tomorrow at 8:00, okay? 394 00:17:43,558 --> 00:17:46,577 Now, I promise you you're going to have the best time possible. 395 00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:48,312 You may think from looking at me, 396 00:17:48,346 --> 00:17:50,847 that I'm an unsophisticated guy who doesn't know his way around, 397 00:17:50,882 --> 00:17:53,133 but you're going to find out I do, okay? 398 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:54,484 I'll see ya. 399 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,341 Woody? 400 00:18:01,376 --> 00:18:03,261 Yes? 401 00:18:03,295 --> 00:18:06,663 Do you know you're in a closet? 402 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:10,735 Yeah, but I thought it might be more sophisticated 403 00:18:10,769 --> 00:18:12,302 just to lay low and then sneak out 404 00:18:12,337 --> 00:18:14,205 after everyone went to bed. 405 00:18:18,259 --> 00:18:20,427 Good night. 406 00:18:20,462 --> 00:18:22,429 Good night. 407 00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:30,655 Sam, has Woody come back from his date yet? 408 00:18:30,689 --> 00:18:31,855 Uh-uh. 409 00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:34,659 I changed his schedule around so he can all of his evenings off 410 00:18:34,693 --> 00:18:37,428 so he can continue to date that lovely young woman. 411 00:18:37,462 --> 00:18:39,397 Wait a minute, now you want him to date? 412 00:18:39,431 --> 00:18:40,998 I mean, what happened to the Attack 413 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,534 of the Screaming Boss Lady from Hell? 414 00:18:43,685 --> 00:18:46,637 Now I will admit that I didn't want him 415 00:18:46,671 --> 00:18:48,872 to ask her out originally, but let's face it-- 416 00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:50,107 he's on a date with her. 417 00:18:50,142 --> 00:18:52,243 And the more they date, the more of a chance 418 00:18:52,277 --> 00:18:54,245 he has to become the boss's son-in-law. 419 00:18:54,313 --> 00:18:57,114 And boss's sons-in-law become VP's 420 00:18:57,149 --> 00:18:59,250 and in the corporate world, it always helps 421 00:18:59,284 --> 00:19:00,884 to have a VP in your corner. 422 00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:02,519 That's disgusting. 423 00:19:03,554 --> 00:19:05,656 Sam, I don't make up the rules. 424 00:19:05,690 --> 00:19:07,124 I just follow them. 425 00:19:10,028 --> 00:19:13,497 Thanks again for a wonderful evening, Woody. 426 00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:15,599 You introduced me to a whole new world. 427 00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:17,367 Yeah, it's hard to believe a girl like you 428 00:19:17,402 --> 00:19:20,437 has never been to a monster truck and tractor pull before. 429 00:19:23,875 --> 00:19:26,177 Oh, Woody! On the first date! 430 00:19:26,211 --> 00:19:28,145 How you going to top that, buddy? 431 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:29,796 Well, there's no need to top it. 432 00:19:29,831 --> 00:19:31,498 It's a one-shot deal. 433 00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:32,582 Wh-What do you mean? What...? 434 00:19:32,617 --> 00:19:34,584 I mean, the only reason she went out with me 435 00:19:34,619 --> 00:19:36,320 was to make a point with her boyfriend. 436 00:19:36,354 --> 00:19:38,105 Wait, wait, wait, how do you know that? 437 00:19:38,139 --> 00:19:39,106 'Cause she told me. 438 00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:40,340 I mean, it only seems fair. 439 00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:42,042 The only reason I went out with her 440 00:19:42,076 --> 00:19:43,477 was to get revenge at her boyfriend. 441 00:19:43,512 --> 00:19:45,178 At least that's what I told her. 442 00:19:45,213 --> 00:19:46,614 Woody, 443 00:19:46,648 --> 00:19:48,281 that is beautiful. 444 00:19:48,316 --> 00:19:49,349 That's the kind of honesty 445 00:19:49,383 --> 00:19:51,384 that's going to keep you out of marriage. 446 00:19:55,373 --> 00:19:57,007 Kelly. 447 00:19:58,426 --> 00:20:00,727 Your dad said I might find you here. 448 00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:02,512 Nash, I know what you're going to say, 449 00:20:02,547 --> 00:20:04,048 and I don't want to hear it. 450 00:20:04,082 --> 00:20:07,067 I'm tired of being treated like chattel. 451 00:20:07,102 --> 00:20:09,970 Excuse me, I think that's pronounced cattle. 452 00:20:14,409 --> 00:20:18,679 You know, when I heard what you were up to, I got really mad. 453 00:20:18,713 --> 00:20:21,381 Then I, well, I realized, you couldn't possibly 454 00:20:21,416 --> 00:20:23,550 be doing this for your own enjoyment, 455 00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:26,620 so you must be doing it to prove a point to me. 456 00:20:26,654 --> 00:20:29,023 And I have to say, point well taken. 457 00:20:29,057 --> 00:20:31,959 This has been a humbling experience for me. 458 00:20:31,993 --> 00:20:33,160 Nothing personal. 459 00:20:33,195 --> 00:20:37,597 That's okay, I didn't understand it. 460 00:20:37,632 --> 00:20:42,085 Anyway, from now on, new Nash. 461 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:45,055 Just hope you'll give me another chance. 462 00:20:45,089 --> 00:20:48,358 Well, okay. 463 00:20:48,393 --> 00:20:49,660 Great. 464 00:20:49,694 --> 00:20:50,694 Hey, let's go. 465 00:20:50,729 --> 00:20:53,230 Maybe we can catch a late supper at Guiseppi's. 466 00:20:53,264 --> 00:20:55,098 I don't know. 467 00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:56,834 Are we finished with our date, Woody? 468 00:20:56,868 --> 00:21:01,171 Yeah, okay, I guess it's over... if you want. 469 00:21:03,074 --> 00:21:07,478 Well, thanks again for a fun evening. 470 00:21:07,512 --> 00:21:08,678 Kelly? 471 00:21:08,713 --> 00:21:10,347 What? 472 00:21:10,381 --> 00:21:12,683 Nothing. 473 00:21:12,717 --> 00:21:15,552 Do you have something you want to say to me, Woody? 474 00:21:15,586 --> 00:21:17,488 No. 475 00:21:17,522 --> 00:21:19,723 I had a great time. 476 00:21:19,757 --> 00:21:20,924 It was nice meeting you. 477 00:21:20,958 --> 00:21:24,161 I was really happy to get to know you. 478 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:27,398 I guess I did have something to say to you. 479 00:21:27,432 --> 00:21:31,902 So, I... guess we should be leaving. 480 00:21:31,937 --> 00:21:34,588 Yeah, I guess I should be getting back to work. 481 00:21:34,622 --> 00:21:36,056 Well, have fun working. 482 00:21:36,091 --> 00:21:37,724 Yeah, have fun leaving. 483 00:21:42,664 --> 00:21:44,231 Woody, come on, man. 484 00:21:44,265 --> 00:21:45,765 Go get her. 485 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:46,733 I can't, Sam. 486 00:21:46,767 --> 00:21:48,235 What could I possibly say to her? 487 00:21:48,269 --> 00:21:49,603 Just say, "I like you. 488 00:21:49,637 --> 00:21:51,171 Will you go out with me again?" 489 00:21:51,206 --> 00:21:52,772 Oh, right, just like that. 490 00:21:52,807 --> 00:21:54,575 And she's going to dump her rich boyfriend 491 00:21:54,609 --> 00:21:56,476 who she's been seeing for all these years, 492 00:21:56,511 --> 00:21:57,744 for poor, old, nobody Woody. 493 00:21:57,778 --> 00:21:59,145 I'm afraid the real world 494 00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:01,348 doesn't work like that, Sam; trust me. 495 00:22:01,382 --> 00:22:02,916 No, Woody, come on. 496 00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:05,018 Hey, listen, just do me a favor: Go get her. 497 00:22:05,052 --> 00:22:07,387 Now, if it doesn't work out, I'll buy you dinner. 498 00:22:07,422 --> 00:22:08,922 If it does, you owe me. 499 00:22:08,957 --> 00:22:10,023 Just go out there. 500 00:22:10,058 --> 00:22:12,592 Say, "I like you, will you go out with me again?" 501 00:22:12,627 --> 00:22:14,527 Come on, before it's too late, go get her. 502 00:22:14,562 --> 00:22:15,996 I'll give it a try, Sam. 503 00:22:20,184 --> 00:22:21,452 Excuse me. 504 00:22:24,021 --> 00:22:25,656 Kelly, uh... 505 00:22:28,843 --> 00:22:31,245 I like you. 506 00:22:31,279 --> 00:22:33,280 Will you go out with me again? 507 00:22:33,315 --> 00:22:35,465 Sure. 508 00:22:30,687 --> 00:22:31,888 Oh, great, 509 00:22:31,064 --> 00:22:32,198 great. 510 00:22:31,006 --> 00:22:32,641 Well, we can't do it tonight. 511 00:22:27,618 --> 00:22:29,018 I've got to take Sam out. 512 00:22:27,364 --> 00:22:29,565 Oh, no, no. 513 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,368 It's okay, we can go out now. 514 00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:31,949 Uh, yeah, I have a standing reservation 515 00:22:31,983 --> 00:22:33,884 at Pizza by the Yard. 516 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:35,152 Oh, wait a minute. 517 00:22:53,468 --> 00:22:54,835 What about Nash? 518 00:22:54,869 --> 00:22:56,787 Well, I was getting in the car with him 519 00:22:56,821 --> 00:22:58,088 when I realized... 520 00:22:58,122 --> 00:23:00,591 Woody, I have a lot more fun with you. 521 00:23:00,625 --> 00:23:04,127 Ah, yeah, I know what you mean. 522 00:23:04,162 --> 00:23:06,497 I didn't have much fun with Nash, either. 523 00:23:00,901 --> 00:23:02,235 Hey, Miss Howe? 524 00:23:00,831 --> 00:23:03,082 Can I leave now? Take Kelly out? 525 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,969 I promise I'll work a double next week. 526 00:22:33,858 --> 00:22:34,891 Oh, don't worry about it. 527 00:22:27,357 --> 00:22:28,757 Go, go ahead. Have a good time. 528 00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:29,715 And if you want to stay out real late and get married, 529 00:22:28,215 --> 00:22:29,782 then come in anytime tomorrow. 530 00:22:28,676 --> 00:22:30,526 You're the greatest, Miss Howe. 531 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,128 Okay, let's hurry. 532 00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:29,514 If we get there by 6:00, 533 00:22:27,354 --> 00:22:29,556 we can sit at the Pac-Man table. 534 00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:29,544 What's a Pac-Man? 535 00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:29,647 Oh, Kelly, I have so much to teach you.