1 00:00:01,985 --> 00:00:03,862 We are adventurous moviemakers... 2 00:00:03,946 --> 00:00:07,157 who sing, dance and above all, entertain. 3 00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,909 Action! 4 00:00:10,369 --> 00:00:11,453 That the best you can do? 5 00:00:11,537 --> 00:00:13,455 Gee, I thought it was going very well. 6 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:17,000 This is a real neat town you found, Faceyman. 7 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:19,837 There are about 10 governments who want him for war crimes. 8 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,464 They must all be eliminated. 9 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,424 I don't want to die! I want to go home! 10 00:00:24,508 --> 00:00:26,218 Please somebody shut this lunatic up. 11 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,344 Consider this. 12 00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:29,221 Damn you, Murdock. 13 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,351 In 1972, a crack commando unit... 14 00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:36,186 was sent to prison by a military court... 15 00:00:36,311 --> 00:00:37,729 for a crime they didn't commit. 16 00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:39,064 These men promptly escaped... 17 00:00:39,148 --> 00:00:40,691 from a maximum-security stockade... 18 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,401 to the Los Angeles underground. 19 00:00:42,526 --> 00:00:44,027 Today, still wanted by the government... 20 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:46,029 they survive as soldiers of fortune. 21 00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:48,574 If you have a problem, if no one else can help... 22 00:00:48,699 --> 00:00:49,908 and if you can find them... 23 00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:52,286 maybe you can hire the A-Team. 24 00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:22,918 I don't know, Johnny. 25 00:02:23,168 --> 00:02:24,962 I think the scales should be slimy. 26 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:28,382 Also, I was thinking more of a purple color than green. 27 00:02:28,465 --> 00:02:30,092 - Purple? - Uh-huh. 28 00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,702 This whole thing makes me very nervous, you know. 29 00:02:31,727 --> 00:02:33,011 I never produced a movie before. 30 00:02:33,095 --> 00:02:34,930 Especially a movie, all my friend's money in it. 31 00:02:35,013 --> 00:02:36,515 Maybe I should've stuck to being an agent. 32 00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:39,059 Now, relax, Jer, we're gonna have fun with this one. 33 00:02:39,268 --> 00:02:42,396 And, I'm going to play this one a little different. 34 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:46,108 Remember how the Aqua-maniac was kind of this reluctant killing machine... 35 00:02:46,191 --> 00:02:47,859 sad but driven? 36 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:51,488 Well, I'm going to give Gatorella a whole another fix. 37 00:02:51,947 --> 00:02:54,533 You remember when Godzilla... 38 00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:58,745 he came out of the sea and he raised his head up... 39 00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:02,874 and then he cocked it and he looked at all the people running around. 40 00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:06,086 I mean, he was frightened and puzzled... 41 00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:08,797 but still angry. I want to try for that. 42 00:03:09,298 --> 00:03:11,008 I mean, why... 43 00:03:11,133 --> 00:03:14,428 is Sam Deacon, the game warden, shooting at me? 44 00:03:15,053 --> 00:03:19,850 And then, kind of mystified, I just take him out with one claw. 45 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,521 - Sounds good. A whole other fix. - Mmm-hmm. 46 00:03:25,731 --> 00:03:27,983 I don't know, it's so hard to know what to say "yes" to. 47 00:03:28,879 --> 00:03:33,739 Maurice, could you fix this tail so it fits a little better? 48 00:03:33,905 --> 00:03:35,782 - Oh, it looks dynamite. - Yeah. 49 00:03:35,866 --> 00:03:40,454 Johnny, it's all green. I was thinking more of an iridescent purple. 50 00:03:40,662 --> 00:03:43,915 Now, Jer, I've been playing sea monsters for 10 years... 51 00:03:43,999 --> 00:03:45,542 and you got me every one of those jobs. 52 00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:47,669 - Well, Johnny, I know that-- - Now... 53 00:03:47,878 --> 00:03:50,922 what lives in the sea, has scales... 54 00:03:51,006 --> 00:03:53,050 and is iridescent purple? 55 00:03:53,258 --> 00:03:54,468 Nothing. 56 00:03:54,885 --> 00:03:57,179 Green is the operative color, Jer. 57 00:03:57,262 --> 00:04:00,640 For sea creatures and especially gator mutations. 58 00:04:00,724 --> 00:04:02,142 Trust me on this, Jer. 59 00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:03,977 I guess green's the right color. 60 00:04:04,102 --> 00:04:07,981 Iridescent purple sounds good, Jer, but you'd hate it on film. 61 00:04:08,065 --> 00:04:12,527 And besides, I can't play this mystified thing if I feel foolish. 62 00:04:12,694 --> 00:04:13,820 And... 63 00:04:14,279 --> 00:04:16,948 I'd feel foolish in iridescent purple. 64 00:04:23,038 --> 00:04:24,581 When he comes out... 65 00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:26,416 tell Cooper to let him get to the car... 66 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,960 before he cuts off that side of the street. 67 00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:32,339 Colonel says he wants you to wait till he gets out and over to the car... 68 00:04:32,422 --> 00:04:33,840 before you make your move. - Right. 69 00:04:33,965 --> 00:04:37,010 He wants him in the car so he can't get back inside. Over. 70 00:04:37,094 --> 00:04:38,053 Roger. 71 00:04:39,096 --> 00:04:40,389 Sure it's Smith? 72 00:04:41,056 --> 00:04:44,101 I've had this guy at costume rentals on my payroll for two months. 73 00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:45,852 It's Smith. I'm sure of it. 74 00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:49,147 He's in there trying out another monster suit. 75 00:04:56,154 --> 00:04:57,572 Well, that's the general look of it. 76 00:04:57,656 --> 00:04:58,949 Of course, I haven't got it down yet... 77 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:00,784 but I think it's an interesting way to go. 78 00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:03,245 Uh-huh, you're the expert on that, Johnny. 79 00:05:03,328 --> 00:05:05,372 Well, you know, I may throw in... 80 00:05:05,455 --> 00:05:07,999 just a touch of sexual envy when I see him with a girl... 81 00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,000 but I'm not sure about that yet. 82 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,628 We'll see how it feels in Mexico. Hey, we'd better get going. 83 00:05:11,795 --> 00:05:13,547 Face will have everybody waiting at the airport for us. 84 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,090 You know, I like that friend of yours. Face. 85 00:05:15,173 --> 00:05:16,533 How did he get that name? 86 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,844 That's long story, Jer, but... 87 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,722 The way he got it is with that punim of his. 88 00:05:22,806 --> 00:05:25,892 It seems that everybody believes whatever he says. It's a gift. 89 00:05:26,017 --> 00:05:29,354 I mean he's an absolutely stupendous liar. 90 00:05:29,438 --> 00:05:31,940 It's my first real featured acting role. 91 00:05:32,023 --> 00:05:35,569 I did a Love Boat in May but I was mostly just background. 92 00:05:35,652 --> 00:05:39,030 Except for, I did say, "Good morning, Mr. Faskin"... 93 00:05:39,114 --> 00:05:40,907 to Donald O'Connor out by the pool. 94 00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:42,534 Oh, Jenny, Jenny, say that again. 95 00:05:42,617 --> 00:05:44,035 What? You mean... 96 00:05:44,119 --> 00:05:45,704 the "Good morning, Mr. Faskin" line? Yes, yes... 97 00:05:45,787 --> 00:05:48,498 just the way you said it before. Oh. 98 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,460 Good morning, Mr. Faskin. 99 00:05:51,543 --> 00:05:54,880 And then later in the show, I walk by again and I say... 100 00:05:55,046 --> 00:05:56,214 "Hi again." 101 00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:59,342 "Good morning, Mr. Faskin." Oh! 102 00:05:59,551 --> 00:06:03,096 I mean, the way you say it, it's so sunny. 103 00:06:03,221 --> 00:06:06,259 I love the way you sort of turn it up at the end. 104 00:06:06,284 --> 00:06:07,208 Thank you. 105 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,768 Has anybody seen the dressing rooms... 106 00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,312 or hotel accommodations down there? 107 00:06:10,395 --> 00:06:14,483 Yes, I have. I made all the arrangements, Charlie. 108 00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:17,861 You're gonna love it down there. The people are so friendly. 109 00:06:18,028 --> 00:06:20,197 What's the name of this burg again? Podunk what? 110 00:06:20,489 --> 00:06:22,657 Podetera De La Ria. 111 00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:26,786 The hotel is magnificent. And your room, Charles, oh! 112 00:06:26,912 --> 00:06:30,499 It overlooks the Placidia, there's a little fountain down there... 113 00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:33,752 and there's some beautiful casitas off by the river. 114 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,795 And the women, Charlie... 115 00:06:35,879 --> 00:06:38,840 made by the hands of the gods. 116 00:06:38,924 --> 00:06:41,843 Absolutely beautiful. 117 00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:44,721 Will they be able to say, "Hello, Mr. Faskin"... 118 00:06:44,888 --> 00:06:47,307 and turn it up at the end like our lovely little Jenny over there? 119 00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:50,185 Charles, come on. I was just being kind. 120 00:06:50,268 --> 00:06:52,145 I mean, she's a little nervous. 121 00:06:52,270 --> 00:06:55,941 I just don't understand why Jer couldn't have got a more experienced actress. 122 00:06:56,107 --> 00:06:58,693 I mean, I can't act in a vacuum, sweet cheeks. 123 00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:02,948 - Now look, Charlie, let's-- - Charles. 124 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,116 Never Chuck or Charlie. 125 00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:11,706 Charles, why don't you give her a chance? She's real excited. 126 00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:14,459 This is my last monster movie. 127 00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:16,211 I swore after It Came From Nowhere... 128 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,026 I was finished with the slime genre. 129 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:20,632 Charles, why don't you stop complaining? 130 00:07:20,715 --> 00:07:24,427 Jerry is a great guy. This is his first shot at producing. 131 00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:26,555 You know, he got you your first job acting. 132 00:07:26,638 --> 00:07:29,432 Is this really the cast and crew airplane? A DC-3? 133 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:32,310 Charles, why don't you... Just don't worry about the plane, huh? 134 00:07:32,394 --> 00:07:34,145 Trust me. All right? 135 00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:37,107 You've got enough hot air to lift off by yourself. 136 00:07:37,315 --> 00:07:39,943 Our pilot, Murdock. Something about him... 137 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,654 I don't know, I don't know. What's the word I'm looking for? 138 00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:45,657 - Nuts? - Yeah. That's it, nuts. 139 00:07:46,825 --> 00:07:49,369 You sure we should let him do stunt work? 140 00:07:49,494 --> 00:07:50,662 Don't worry. 141 00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:53,081 I'll oversee everything. Jer... 142 00:07:53,498 --> 00:07:56,334 from here on, we're going to have a ball. 143 00:08:01,256 --> 00:08:02,716 - What's that? - I don't know. 144 00:08:02,841 --> 00:08:04,593 Come on, we're going to be late to the airport. 145 00:08:04,676 --> 00:08:08,430 You went too soon. You went too soon. Cut him off. Cut him off. 146 00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,140 You don't mind if I drive, do you, Jer? 147 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,766 No, no. Go ahead, John. 148 00:08:18,023 --> 00:08:19,107 What's going on here? 149 00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,319 I'm sorry, Jer. Hang on. I'll explain later. 150 00:09:33,264 --> 00:09:34,891 Murdock, how does she look? 151 00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:38,561 This is what we call, in pilot land, "a coffin with wings." 152 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,773 And it's a good thing that the big, angry guy hasn't laid eyes on it... 153 00:09:41,856 --> 00:09:44,734 or you'd be looking for a soft place to sit. You know what I mean? 154 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,486 Yeah, I know what you mean. 155 00:09:46,528 --> 00:09:49,656 Hey. Who's that giant with the Mohawk that's passed out in the cabin? 156 00:09:49,781 --> 00:09:52,742 Oh, him. Don't worry about him. He's just there for ballast. 157 00:09:57,038 --> 00:09:58,623 What the hell is that? 158 00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:04,295 Well, it doesn't look like... 159 00:10:04,379 --> 00:10:06,464 the Screen Actors' Guild out to wish you luck. 160 00:10:06,589 --> 00:10:09,718 Well, I guess I better blow the bird nests out of the carburetor... 161 00:10:09,801 --> 00:10:11,928 in preparation for takeoff. - Good idea. 162 00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:15,765 I'll get everybody on board. Charles, shall we? Everybody. 163 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,184 Here we go. Bon voyage. 164 00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:30,613 Come on, you sucker, start! 165 00:10:40,999 --> 00:10:42,709 Flaps set to take off. 166 00:10:43,668 --> 00:10:45,086 Trim set. 167 00:10:47,422 --> 00:10:49,632 Magneto, carburetor keyed. 168 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,735 Welcome to Artesian Films... 169 00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:12,155 and Flight 30 to Podetera De La Ria. 170 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:16,242 Please fasten your seat belts and observe the "No Smoking" sign... 171 00:11:16,326 --> 00:11:19,913 while Captain H.M. Murdock prepares us for takeoff. 172 00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:00,328 Pilot's Prayer. Oh, God, your sky is so big. 173 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:03,456 My plane is so crummy. Please, don't let me eat it. 174 00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:13,508 Faceman, the wheels won't go up. 175 00:12:13,842 --> 00:12:16,511 I never went through anything like this before in my life. 176 00:12:19,222 --> 00:12:21,015 Faceman, where'd you get this bird? 177 00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:22,350 Unified Relief. 178 00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,477 It was flying discards in from Temecula. 179 00:12:24,602 --> 00:12:26,020 We're deadheading it back for them. 180 00:12:26,104 --> 00:12:28,690 Their pilot refused to fly it 'cause it... 181 00:12:28,773 --> 00:12:31,359 stalled on him three times or something. 182 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,027 I love it. 183 00:13:01,139 --> 00:13:04,601 Don't you need to keep the engines running so you can taxi? 184 00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:07,145 Yes. That is my usual procedure, Faceman. 185 00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:09,105 However, we are out of petrol. 186 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,151 There's Manuel Escobar. 187 00:13:14,986 --> 00:13:17,822 What a guy, meeting us at the airport. 188 00:13:18,239 --> 00:13:20,408 Yeah, he's the local chief of police. 189 00:13:20,491 --> 00:13:23,369 Said he was gonna come out and help us carry our equipment. 190 00:13:23,453 --> 00:13:26,706 Yeah, it's gonna be the real red carpet treatment. 191 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,594 Do you mind? 192 00:13:40,762 --> 00:13:43,014 Hey, sucker, you better watch who you're pushing. 193 00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:44,933 Hey, I'm the star of this movie. 194 00:13:45,016 --> 00:13:47,310 You better work on a more civil tongue, mister. 195 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,774 - This is a plane. - That barely describes it. 196 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,276 Now, do you mind getting over in your own seat? 197 00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:59,405 I'm on a plane! I'm on a plane! 198 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,200 Get me out of here. Get me out of here. 199 00:14:02,707 --> 00:14:04,744 - B.A. Now, no, now, B.A.-- - I told you, man! I told you-- 200 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,496 No, no, no, wait! 201 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,166 You tricked me, man. You know I don't fly, man. 202 00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:12,627 Why don't you open your mouth, Faceman? What's wrong with you? 203 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:13,878 Well, I... 204 00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:16,422 Ah, Manuel, cómo... 205 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,424 estas? 206 00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:22,136 Senor Face, you must turn the plane around. You must leave immediately. 207 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:25,431 Is this the guy who was gonna help us with our luggage? 208 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,608 Manuel, amigo mio. Por favor! 209 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:39,028 You are making a less than favorable impression with my compadres. 210 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,738 Making a terrible impression, Face. 211 00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:42,240 What's the problem, Templeton? 212 00:14:42,365 --> 00:14:45,284 Oh, it's no problem, Jerry. Nothing we can't work out. 213 00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,245 You must turn the plane around now... 214 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,414 or I will be forced to take you all prisoners. 215 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,791 My amigo. Look, only a week ago I was down here... 216 00:14:51,874 --> 00:14:54,002 you said to me, "Hombre de cara." 217 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:56,295 That's "Faceman" in Spanish. 218 00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:58,214 You said, "Mi casa es su casa." 219 00:14:58,339 --> 00:15:00,174 That's, "My house is your house." 220 00:15:00,258 --> 00:15:03,094 Whatever happened to "Come over to my house and be a guest for dinner"? 221 00:15:03,177 --> 00:15:06,222 Whatever happened to all that "amigo mio" stuff? 222 00:15:06,347 --> 00:15:09,809 Does this guy have a daughter, Face? 223 00:15:09,892 --> 00:15:11,894 Yes. A very pretty one... 224 00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,480 but I never once, never did I even think about it... 225 00:15:14,564 --> 00:15:18,568 because this is one muchacho that never mixes business with pleasure. 226 00:15:20,778 --> 00:15:24,991 Well, maybe once or twice, but not this time. Really. 227 00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:29,704 Pal, maybe you can tell us why you're doing this. 228 00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,873 I mean, we went to a lot of trouble to get down here. 229 00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,793 Things change, senor. I am sorry, but you must leave now. 230 00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:38,921 - We're out of gas. - I do not believe you. 231 00:15:39,005 --> 00:15:42,216 There's not enough fuel in there to start a barbecue, pal. 232 00:15:42,383 --> 00:15:45,803 You must not come into town. You are not welcome here! 233 00:15:45,887 --> 00:15:48,347 You will have to figure out how you will get out. 234 00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:51,225 I will go into town and be back in an hour with fuel. 235 00:15:51,392 --> 00:15:53,227 You will not leave this runway. 236 00:15:53,478 --> 00:15:54,687 Vamonos! 237 00:15:59,984 --> 00:16:02,904 Oh, Jerry. Jerry, I don't understand. 238 00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:06,449 I mean, I was so careful. We shook hands. 239 00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:10,411 I mean, we toasted each other, we sang Frijolito Salzon together. 240 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,080 It's a song about a little jumping bean. 241 00:16:12,246 --> 00:16:14,207 We hugged one another. It was all set. 242 00:16:14,332 --> 00:16:16,626 All right, everybody grab something. 243 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,545 We're not gonna stand around here. We got a movie to make. 244 00:16:23,174 --> 00:16:25,301 No dressing room, no hotel room. 245 00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:28,971 Now, look, Charles, when you're shooting on distant locales like this... 246 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,140 sometimes, temporarily, you get snafued. 247 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,142 But, things will work out. Believe me. 248 00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,062 Charles, I only have enough money for three and a half days down here. 249 00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:37,939 I'll have to pay the crew by the day. 250 00:16:38,022 --> 00:16:39,357 Crew? You call this a crew? 251 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,734 I've seen more people on a UCLA film project. 252 00:16:41,818 --> 00:16:43,361 We've got 30 people here. 253 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,738 On It Came Out of Nowhere, we had 100 guys on the crew. 254 00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:47,740 On Lizard in the Lake, we had 125... 255 00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:49,742 not counting the lizard people we picked up in Bolivia. 256 00:16:49,797 --> 00:16:51,257 Charles, remember. 257 00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:54,705 Your name is gonna be above the title. 258 00:16:54,872 --> 00:16:57,083 I'm trying, sweetness, but I'm not gonna sleep out here... 259 00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,252 and be eaten by those 10 pound mosquitoes. 260 00:17:01,796 --> 00:17:05,466 Everybody is really angry at you and I don't think it's fair. 261 00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,553 I mean, you had it all set up. They broke their promises. 262 00:17:08,678 --> 00:17:11,305 I know, Jenny. I just don't understand it. 263 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:14,976 I lie, I cheat, I steal... 264 00:17:15,059 --> 00:17:17,728 and I just don't get any respect. 265 00:17:22,066 --> 00:17:23,484 It was a joke. 266 00:17:23,818 --> 00:17:25,611 Just a little a joke. 267 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:27,446 Oh. 268 00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,284 - You know, I'm worried about Charles. - Ah. 269 00:17:31,409 --> 00:17:33,703 I asked him to run lines with me for tomorrow's scene... 270 00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,663 and he wouldn't do it. He said he's leaving. 271 00:17:35,746 --> 00:17:39,083 He's going to walk out to that road we flew over and hitchhike home. 272 00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:41,460 No, I don't think that's such a good idea. 273 00:17:41,711 --> 00:17:43,754 Break a leg, and all the other show business hooey. 274 00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:46,424 Oh, Charles, you're such a trooper. 275 00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:48,467 I know a losing proposition when I see it. 276 00:17:48,593 --> 00:17:50,261 Nobody can make me stay here and do this. 277 00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:52,638 Come on, Charles. Hang in with us. 278 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:58,144 There goes Charlie, the StarKist tuna. 279 00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:01,063 - I was getting tired of him, anyway. - Oh, my God. 280 00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:04,317 Now we don't have a leading man. What are we going to do? 281 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,404 Hey, why doesn't Face take his part? 282 00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:12,033 He's better looking and anyway, you know... 283 00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:15,661 I think he and I have a sort of simpatico. 284 00:18:16,412 --> 00:18:17,747 No, no, no. We're through. 285 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:20,750 My distribution agreement says that Charles Lake has got to be the star... 286 00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:22,210 for me to get my completion money. 287 00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:26,047 Jer, have you got a copy of that agreement on you? 288 00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,757 - Yeah. - Could I see it? 289 00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:31,636 - Here. - Ah, yes. 290 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:34,388 Excuse me a moment while I step into my office. 291 00:18:34,639 --> 00:18:35,932 Hold my calls. 292 00:18:37,808 --> 00:18:40,603 Jer, that... That is too bad because, you know... 293 00:18:41,771 --> 00:18:43,356 I think Face could do it. 294 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:48,945 'Cause after all, the real star of the film is Gatorella. 295 00:18:50,571 --> 00:18:52,615 I don't know what to do now, Johnny. 296 00:18:53,574 --> 00:18:55,826 Tomorrow we roll film. 297 00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:57,995 I'll play the Sam Deacon part. 298 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:00,539 No, I'll lose my bond. I won't get my financing. 299 00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,583 No, no, no, no, Jer. It says here... 300 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:05,920 that Lake, Charles T, has to perform the part. 301 00:19:06,003 --> 00:19:08,089 Yes. Yes. He just left. 302 00:19:08,172 --> 00:19:10,883 No, no, no, Jerry. Charles Lake left. 303 00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:14,720 Lake Charles is standing here looking at you. 304 00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:18,099 What are you talking about? Nobody's gonna buy that. 305 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,309 Sure they are, Jer. Don't worry. 306 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,229 As soon as we get back into town, I'll go into the Screen Actors' Guild. 307 00:19:23,354 --> 00:19:25,231 I'll register as Lake Charles. 308 00:19:25,314 --> 00:19:26,899 There's nothing they can do about it. 309 00:19:26,983 --> 00:19:30,653 Jer, trust him, he's made a career out of bending the rules. 310 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:33,823 Well, looks like we're back in the film business. 311 00:19:33,990 --> 00:19:37,034 Now someone just has to say, "Action." 312 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,495 Action. 313 00:20:04,729 --> 00:20:06,605 Hey, you in the bloody fish suit. 314 00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:09,400 Come on out. And take that beak off. 315 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:13,571 You guys... 316 00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,365 are not from the film commission. 317 00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:17,742 Am I right? 318 00:20:17,908 --> 00:20:19,702 You're right about that, mate. 319 00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:22,705 And yesterday you were asked to leave. 320 00:20:23,164 --> 00:20:24,540 Now I'm telling you. 321 00:20:24,665 --> 00:20:27,752 There's a little town about 40 miles south of here, called Cesbasco. 322 00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:29,295 You can shoot your picture there... 323 00:20:29,420 --> 00:20:31,047 and you're out of here in an hour. 324 00:20:31,172 --> 00:20:32,465 Anybody who ain't... 325 00:20:32,590 --> 00:20:35,301 gets a 9mm hollow point in the back of the head. 326 00:20:35,426 --> 00:20:38,179 Hey, man, I don't like guns being pointed at me. 327 00:20:38,346 --> 00:20:39,555 Well, then, you can get out of town. 328 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:42,892 Why don't we just pack up our things and leave? 329 00:20:43,559 --> 00:20:46,437 It's a wise choice. And we're back here in an hour. 330 00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,147 If you're still here... 331 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:51,442 we'll bury you. 332 00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:58,783 I'm sorry, Face. 333 00:21:00,034 --> 00:21:02,912 - Why? - Well, to be honest... 334 00:21:03,913 --> 00:21:05,498 when you said you didn't take a shot... 335 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,375 at the sheriff's daughter, I didn't believe you. 336 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,211 I thought when we got the bum's rush, it was because you had. 337 00:21:10,294 --> 00:21:12,880 - Hannibal, I would never-- - Forget it. Forget it. 338 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,423 We gotta stop making this movie... 339 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,093 and find out who those commandos are in the jeep. 340 00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,971 Maybe we should just do what he says and leave. 341 00:21:21,055 --> 00:21:22,973 Hey, man, I don't like to be runned off. 342 00:21:23,057 --> 00:21:24,350 Me, neither. 343 00:21:26,644 --> 00:21:28,562 We only have prop weapons here. 344 00:21:29,397 --> 00:21:30,815 I mean, we're a movie company. 345 00:21:30,898 --> 00:21:33,692 None of us knows anything about taking on guerrillas like that. 346 00:21:33,776 --> 00:21:36,195 But, maybe we could get lucky. 347 00:21:39,323 --> 00:21:43,202 Okay, guys. B.A., take a look at the prop weapons. 348 00:21:43,285 --> 00:21:47,331 Murdock, get in the special effects and get out the squibs. 349 00:21:47,414 --> 00:21:48,582 Right-a-rooney. 350 00:21:48,666 --> 00:21:51,252 I'll get out of this suit and Face and I will go into town... 351 00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:52,711 and find out what's going on. 352 00:21:52,795 --> 00:21:55,840 How can we beat these guys with prop weapons and special effects? 353 00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:59,301 Jerry, you never know how clever or stupid... 354 00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:01,971 the enemy is, until you test him. 355 00:22:02,638 --> 00:22:04,598 Hey, be careful, okay? 356 00:22:05,599 --> 00:22:07,309 Careful is my name. 357 00:22:07,768 --> 00:22:09,812 Lake Charles is your name. 358 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:07,828 The town looks empty except for those Anglos by the cantina. 359 00:23:08,037 --> 00:23:09,997 Something's wrong around here. 360 00:23:16,837 --> 00:23:19,256 At least your friend Manuel has been released. 361 00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:34,396 I wanna follow him. Scare me up a car, Face. 362 00:23:34,563 --> 00:23:37,149 "Scare me up a car, Face." What do I do, hit the Hertz agency here? 363 00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:38,651 Get you a Cordoba convertible? 364 00:23:38,734 --> 00:23:42,196 Somebody must have a truck around here. Now, think. You must've seen one. 365 00:23:43,405 --> 00:23:44,490 Come on. 366 00:23:45,908 --> 00:23:47,993 Oh, terrific, Face. 367 00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:43,716 Oh, no! 368 00:24:45,175 --> 00:24:46,510 You know him? 369 00:24:47,428 --> 00:24:48,929 Major De Jero. 370 00:24:49,430 --> 00:24:51,890 The most brutal torturer in Argentina. 371 00:24:52,099 --> 00:24:55,019 There are about 10 governments who want him for war crimes. 372 00:24:55,144 --> 00:24:56,979 Well, what do you think he's doing down here? 373 00:24:57,062 --> 00:24:59,732 Well, whatever it is, we're not gonna like it. 374 00:25:06,405 --> 00:25:11,452 Oh, Sam, I keep trying. But Daddy won't say anything. 375 00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:14,538 He just lies there in that hospital bed... 376 00:25:14,621 --> 00:25:17,791 and then wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. 377 00:25:17,916 --> 00:25:21,003 Theresa, you've done everything you can. 378 00:25:21,170 --> 00:25:22,755 Everything reasonable. 379 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,340 Cut. Face. 380 00:25:24,423 --> 00:25:27,968 It's "Everything within reason," not "Everything reasonable." 381 00:25:28,052 --> 00:25:29,428 Hannibal, I can't work this way. I mean... 382 00:25:29,511 --> 00:25:31,889 And you're not even a director. Jerry's directing. 383 00:25:31,972 --> 00:25:33,932 Well, wait a minute. I never directed before. 384 00:25:34,016 --> 00:25:35,934 Hannibal said he'd help me out the first couple of days. 385 00:25:36,018 --> 00:25:39,355 Oh! Well, I can't work this way. I just... 386 00:25:39,438 --> 00:25:41,815 I can't work for six directors. I'm an actor. 387 00:25:41,940 --> 00:25:46,403 An actor interprets lines. I can't be a slave to the script. 388 00:25:46,487 --> 00:25:49,323 I have to have room to interpret the lines. 389 00:25:49,406 --> 00:25:51,367 Gee, I thought it was going very well. 390 00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:52,785 There, you see? 391 00:25:52,910 --> 00:25:55,162 Well, it was going terrible. 392 00:25:55,496 --> 00:25:58,540 Face, you were giving new dimension to the word "stiff." 393 00:25:58,624 --> 00:26:01,502 Now, take it from where she says... 394 00:26:02,252 --> 00:26:03,670 "Wakes up in the middle of the night." 395 00:26:03,796 --> 00:26:06,298 Yeah, okay, it... it wasn't stiff, Hannibal. 396 00:26:06,382 --> 00:26:09,385 I was just playing a sort of emotional rigidity. 397 00:26:09,551 --> 00:26:14,348 That's... It was intentional. I'm trying to make Sam inflexible, that's all. 398 00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:18,977 Well, you're coming off like a giant redwood. So loosen up. Okay? 399 00:26:19,478 --> 00:26:21,647 Yeah, yeah, just be looser. Looser. 400 00:26:23,273 --> 00:26:27,569 Hannibal, when you gonna stop all this yak-yak-yak and get to yours truly? 401 00:26:27,694 --> 00:26:30,989 Tommy Danger, stuntman to the stars? 402 00:26:31,532 --> 00:26:34,535 - Right after lunch, Tom. - Double darn it. 403 00:26:37,871 --> 00:26:41,667 - Okay, roll 'em. - Do I say "Action" now? 404 00:26:41,834 --> 00:26:42,918 Now. 405 00:26:43,085 --> 00:26:44,294 Action! 406 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,890 You guys are getting that machine gun entrance down pretty good. 407 00:26:56,974 --> 00:26:58,725 You obviously don't hear too good. 408 00:26:58,851 --> 00:27:01,520 Oh, I hear fine. It's just that... 409 00:27:02,062 --> 00:27:05,858 we filmmakers live by our own code. 410 00:27:06,233 --> 00:27:07,985 There's tradition at stake. 411 00:27:08,318 --> 00:27:12,239 You may have heard of some of our more arcane sayings such as... 412 00:27:12,406 --> 00:27:16,201 "always leave them laughing," and "the show must go on." 413 00:27:16,326 --> 00:27:19,913 We believe in those expressions, we live by them. 414 00:27:20,038 --> 00:27:24,042 So, we've decided to ignore your less-than-courteous order to leave. 415 00:27:24,084 --> 00:27:26,795 What are you? A total fruitcake? 416 00:27:27,254 --> 00:27:29,089 You're 300 miles out in the brush. 417 00:27:29,214 --> 00:27:32,217 I could kill you and nobody would even ask any questions. 418 00:27:36,346 --> 00:27:39,391 What if I decided to kill you instead? 419 00:27:48,442 --> 00:27:51,778 Well, you certainly got gall. Well, how are you gonna kill me? 420 00:27:51,952 --> 00:27:53,530 Throw a megaphone at me? 421 00:27:53,864 --> 00:27:57,117 Well, obviously I have something in mind. 422 00:27:57,242 --> 00:27:59,995 I mean, the way I see it, you have two choices. 423 00:28:00,162 --> 00:28:02,706 Either apologize to my friends... 424 00:28:02,873 --> 00:28:07,503 and put your cute little 4-wheelers in reverse and pull out of here... 425 00:28:07,628 --> 00:28:10,589 or try me out, in which case... 426 00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:13,008 we'll have to bury you with your boots on. 427 00:28:13,258 --> 00:28:15,177 Probably right about where your foot is. 428 00:28:15,302 --> 00:28:16,720 That's quite a good trick... 429 00:28:16,887 --> 00:28:18,555 considering I'm the one who's holding the gun. 430 00:28:18,639 --> 00:28:21,183 Allow me to familiarize you... 431 00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:24,561 with certain military logistics. 432 00:28:24,686 --> 00:28:27,814 You see, you have no position here. 433 00:28:27,940 --> 00:28:30,067 You're on low ground. 434 00:28:30,526 --> 00:28:31,693 B.A. 435 00:28:36,114 --> 00:28:39,159 And you're flanked on both sides. Murdock! 436 00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:48,168 Face. 437 00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:54,466 You see... 438 00:28:56,552 --> 00:29:00,430 you elected to station your men out in the open... 439 00:29:00,681 --> 00:29:02,182 without any cover. 440 00:29:02,724 --> 00:29:04,518 - I could kill you. - Yeah. 441 00:29:04,768 --> 00:29:08,105 But you'd be dead before I hit the ground, so put it up. 442 00:29:09,815 --> 00:29:13,402 Murdock, incinerate this bag of spit on the count of three. 443 00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:15,445 One, two... 444 00:29:17,656 --> 00:29:18,907 Drop 'em. 445 00:29:24,830 --> 00:29:27,040 Now, you wanna see something that'll break your heart? 446 00:29:29,585 --> 00:29:31,003 Look down the barrel. 447 00:29:32,379 --> 00:29:35,340 - Somebody filled it with lead. - Yeah. Props. 448 00:29:36,592 --> 00:29:39,136 Okay, Jer, hit the rest of the plungers. 449 00:29:46,935 --> 00:29:48,145 And then... 450 00:29:48,729 --> 00:29:52,232 there is perhaps the most arcane expression of them all. 451 00:29:52,733 --> 00:29:55,986 "There is no business like show business." 452 00:30:05,787 --> 00:30:07,956 Open the gate. Matey's back. 453 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,880 Hey, that's not our truck. Hey, wait a minute. 454 00:30:15,547 --> 00:30:17,674 Hey! Come back here. Hey! 455 00:30:35,901 --> 00:30:37,861 Put it down or I hit the gas. 456 00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:44,076 Tell your men to drop their weapons. 457 00:30:44,159 --> 00:30:46,328 Drop your weapons! It's an order. Do it now! 458 00:30:49,373 --> 00:30:51,333 - I don't know who you are-- - I know. I know. 459 00:30:51,458 --> 00:30:54,294 But I know who you are. You're Major Ramon De Jero. 460 00:30:54,378 --> 00:30:58,090 You've terrorized hundreds of people, tortured them unmercifully. 461 00:30:58,173 --> 00:30:59,466 I can pay you. 462 00:30:59,549 --> 00:31:01,593 I'm sure you can, but we're not in that market. 463 00:31:01,677 --> 00:31:03,679 Captain, take a look at this guy's basement. 464 00:31:03,929 --> 00:31:06,139 See if he's been pulling off anybody's fingernails down there. 465 00:31:06,264 --> 00:31:08,684 All right, come on, Face. Bring your nail file. 466 00:31:20,445 --> 00:31:22,989 I just came in here to use the phone, call a taxi. 467 00:31:23,198 --> 00:31:24,408 They threw me in this basement. 468 00:31:24,491 --> 00:31:27,994 They probably didn't realize they was dealing with a star, sweet cheeks. 469 00:31:28,078 --> 00:31:31,039 See what happens when you don't live up to your contractual obligations? 470 00:31:31,164 --> 00:31:33,041 The movie gods gets you. 471 00:31:50,434 --> 00:31:54,438 What have you done? Why have you brought all these men here? 472 00:31:54,855 --> 00:31:56,940 This guy in the white suit... 473 00:31:57,607 --> 00:31:59,276 is a war criminal. You lock him up. 474 00:31:59,401 --> 00:32:00,736 I'll get the federales down here. 475 00:32:00,861 --> 00:32:03,530 They'll take him away in a rabies bag. 476 00:32:06,116 --> 00:32:07,284 What's wrong? 477 00:32:07,868 --> 00:32:10,454 Perhaps you should tell him, jefe. 478 00:32:10,829 --> 00:32:13,790 He has all our wives and children. 479 00:32:13,915 --> 00:32:16,251 They're being held in a place out of town... 480 00:32:16,376 --> 00:32:18,503 and if I am locked up, they will be killed. 481 00:32:18,587 --> 00:32:21,882 You see, I'm a man who enjoys good insurance. 482 00:32:22,007 --> 00:32:24,593 Which is why I have lived so long and so well. 483 00:32:24,718 --> 00:32:28,305 What makes you think I won't be able to find them and rescue them? 484 00:32:28,430 --> 00:32:30,682 You won't get the opportunity, senor. 485 00:32:30,807 --> 00:32:32,976 Well, who's gonna stop me? Not you. 486 00:32:33,101 --> 00:32:37,189 Oh, no, no, not me, but perhaps you should look around you, senor. 487 00:32:43,862 --> 00:32:46,698 - Not bad. - Drop your weapons. 488 00:32:49,075 --> 00:32:52,120 This is a real neat town you found, Faceyman. 489 00:32:52,329 --> 00:32:53,622 I know. 490 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:07,552 This is awful. I knew I shouldn't have gotten into movie-making. 491 00:33:07,677 --> 00:33:09,471 I should have just stuck to being an agent. 492 00:33:10,013 --> 00:33:12,808 Maybe if we tell him we'll do anything he wants, promise not to tell on him. 493 00:33:12,933 --> 00:33:14,267 Maybe, then he'll let us go. 494 00:33:14,351 --> 00:33:16,770 I mean, he seems like a reasonable man. If we beg him, maybe. 495 00:33:16,895 --> 00:33:19,147 - Jenny. She can go to him, convince him. - Charles! 496 00:33:19,231 --> 00:33:22,442 Don't you think you're working this heroic leading man thing too much? 497 00:33:22,567 --> 00:33:24,736 What we need is a good plan. 498 00:33:25,195 --> 00:33:27,030 I'm open to suggestions. 499 00:33:27,155 --> 00:33:28,532 Well... 500 00:33:28,657 --> 00:33:31,993 Suggestions are one of my long suits. Yup. 501 00:33:32,077 --> 00:33:35,080 So, I suggest... 502 00:33:35,288 --> 00:33:38,542 that we convince this tyrant that we have... 503 00:33:38,792 --> 00:33:41,253 secret weapons in our possession... 504 00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:43,672 and that we could atomize him at any moment. 505 00:33:43,797 --> 00:33:45,507 Please, somebody shut this lunatic up. 506 00:33:45,632 --> 00:33:48,093 I've been trying to shut this lunatic up for 15 years. 507 00:33:48,218 --> 00:33:49,678 Ain't no way of shutting him up. 508 00:33:49,803 --> 00:33:52,264 But I'd rather listen to him jibber-jabber, than to you whine. 509 00:33:52,347 --> 00:33:54,057 Well, there's got to be a way. 510 00:33:54,182 --> 00:33:55,809 Then let's go, Murdock, what's the idea? 511 00:33:55,892 --> 00:33:59,229 Well, most of you know me first of all, as H.M. Murdock. 512 00:33:59,312 --> 00:34:04,192 But in my movie career, I'm known far and wide by my stuntman's name. 513 00:34:04,317 --> 00:34:07,070 Look, Murdock, I don't wanna hear no stuff about no Tommy Danger. 514 00:34:07,195 --> 00:34:09,072 Well, then, you better stuff some of that gold in your ear, big guy... 515 00:34:09,197 --> 00:34:10,782 because I'm on a roll. 516 00:34:11,074 --> 00:34:14,953 My stuntman persona is... 517 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,454 Tommy Danger. 518 00:34:16,538 --> 00:34:21,626 I'm known best of all for my high falls, and my helicopter stunts. 519 00:34:21,751 --> 00:34:26,214 But foremost, especially and most spectacularly... 520 00:34:26,381 --> 00:34:28,383 for my death scenes. 521 00:34:28,508 --> 00:34:31,094 Tommy Danger is known far and wide... 522 00:34:31,219 --> 00:34:34,306 for his ability to eat lead, boys and girls. 523 00:34:34,389 --> 00:34:36,349 Yes, sir, you heard me. 524 00:34:36,433 --> 00:34:38,602 He can take a bullet better than any man alive. 525 00:34:38,727 --> 00:34:42,063 Now, I suggest... 526 00:34:42,397 --> 00:34:45,066 that Hannibal shoot me... 527 00:34:45,191 --> 00:34:48,570 and then turn his attention to Jerry the German out there... 528 00:34:48,737 --> 00:34:51,907 and scare him into surrendering and... 529 00:34:52,365 --> 00:34:54,367 I also suggest... 530 00:34:55,118 --> 00:34:56,953 that he use... 531 00:34:58,121 --> 00:35:00,665 this ordinary pen... 532 00:35:01,166 --> 00:35:05,128 which I will turn into a deadly... 533 00:35:05,462 --> 00:35:07,839 3-shot repeater. 534 00:35:08,048 --> 00:35:09,758 Observe. 535 00:35:20,018 --> 00:35:21,603 Ringo... 536 00:35:21,937 --> 00:35:27,359 Ringo, please, please don't let me die with my boots on. 537 00:35:32,781 --> 00:35:36,159 I like it. Now, all we need is a squib. 538 00:35:52,133 --> 00:35:53,218 Beautiful. 539 00:35:53,301 --> 00:35:54,970 What's this all about, Johnny? 540 00:35:55,971 --> 00:35:58,598 We just came up with an escape plan. 541 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,564 We must move quickly. It's become very sloppy. 542 00:36:06,773 --> 00:36:10,068 Tell Marco Cortez to clear out our accounts in Argentina... 543 00:36:10,151 --> 00:36:11,987 and bring the money here immediately. 544 00:36:12,112 --> 00:36:15,365 We will fly to Switzerland and then go on to the island. 545 00:36:16,074 --> 00:36:18,576 I don't want to argue about it. Do as I say! 546 00:36:23,081 --> 00:36:26,001 This was supposed to be a quiet place... 547 00:36:26,584 --> 00:36:30,338 to rest, to collect my money before disappearing. 548 00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:33,299 And I've Hollywood filmmakers... 549 00:36:33,466 --> 00:36:36,052 who disarm my security forces. 550 00:36:36,219 --> 00:36:38,054 They may have called for help. 551 00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:40,849 Who knows what they may have done? We have little time. 552 00:36:40,974 --> 00:36:43,476 They got lucky. Anybody can get lucky. 553 00:36:45,645 --> 00:36:48,690 Who counts on luck to decide anything? 554 00:36:50,734 --> 00:36:53,069 Tomorrow morning, at dawn... 555 00:36:53,737 --> 00:36:57,198 you will take these men to the ranch where the women are being held. 556 00:36:57,323 --> 00:36:58,700 Kill them all. 557 00:36:59,117 --> 00:37:02,328 And then go on to the town and kill the men there. 558 00:37:02,495 --> 00:37:03,830 Set a fire. 559 00:37:03,955 --> 00:37:08,418 Nobody must be left to tell of my existence. 560 00:37:10,211 --> 00:37:12,297 There's no reason to kill 30 people. 561 00:37:12,380 --> 00:37:15,759 It'll bring the police, it'll cause an international incident. 562 00:37:15,925 --> 00:37:17,761 If they know that I was here... 563 00:37:17,844 --> 00:37:20,680 they will find a way to trace me to the island. 564 00:37:20,889 --> 00:37:23,516 Somebody will remember the tail number of the helicopter... 565 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,226 that brought me here, or will remember that... 566 00:37:25,351 --> 00:37:27,771 I made several calls to Geneva. 567 00:37:27,854 --> 00:37:30,774 Or, your description. 568 00:37:31,024 --> 00:37:33,276 You were seen on the island. 569 00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:37,614 A composite drawing perhaps, that will be circulated. 570 00:37:37,697 --> 00:37:41,534 Bits, pieces, little facts, remembered moments... 571 00:37:41,618 --> 00:37:44,496 they must all be eliminated. 572 00:37:49,626 --> 00:37:51,252 And if that... 573 00:37:51,461 --> 00:37:53,671 is not reason enough... 574 00:37:54,798 --> 00:37:56,633 consider this. 575 00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:59,010 Okay, mate, you made your point. 576 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:15,503 I knew you were here, De Jero. I could smell you. 577 00:39:24,679 --> 00:39:25,847 That the best you can do? 578 00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:30,351 You will be taken to a field where a large hole has been dug. 579 00:39:30,476 --> 00:39:32,937 You will be shot and buried. 580 00:39:33,188 --> 00:39:37,275 No one, not even the buzzards, will know you are there. 581 00:39:37,358 --> 00:39:39,235 Not a very graceful conclusion... 582 00:39:39,319 --> 00:39:40,778 to an exciting life, do you think? 583 00:39:40,904 --> 00:39:42,238 Put them in the truck. 584 00:40:04,594 --> 00:40:07,639 B.A., I can't pull this off with my hands tied. 585 00:40:21,611 --> 00:40:23,947 I think I dislocated my shoulder. 586 00:40:24,822 --> 00:40:27,283 This stuff must be 1000-pound test. 587 00:40:30,912 --> 00:40:32,288 Get ready. 588 00:40:39,295 --> 00:40:42,548 Okay, you guys know what to do. 589 00:41:03,236 --> 00:41:05,905 I need talk to somebody. I got things to tell. They got weapons. 590 00:41:05,989 --> 00:41:08,116 - Shut up, Murdock. - Don't you tell me to shut up. 591 00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:09,826 You shut up yourself. Who are you? 592 00:41:09,909 --> 00:41:12,495 You brought me down here for your own advantage. 593 00:41:12,912 --> 00:41:15,832 Well, I don't wanna die. I want to go home. 594 00:41:15,957 --> 00:41:17,417 He's got a gun and he's gonna kill you! 595 00:41:17,500 --> 00:41:18,710 - Who's got a gun? - He does! 596 00:41:18,793 --> 00:41:19,669 Damn you, Murdock! 597 00:41:22,297 --> 00:41:23,715 Drop your weapon. 598 00:41:23,965 --> 00:41:25,508 No, don't fire. 599 00:41:26,134 --> 00:41:28,469 It's a trick, get the women! 600 00:41:30,847 --> 00:41:33,308 You're coming with me for protection, pal. 601 00:41:53,995 --> 00:41:55,788 Please! No! 602 00:41:55,955 --> 00:41:57,248 Stop! 603 00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:18,478 Please! Don't! 604 00:42:24,609 --> 00:42:26,986 Stop, stop. 605 00:43:01,562 --> 00:43:03,106 How'd I do, Colonel? How'd I do? 606 00:43:03,231 --> 00:43:05,733 Oh, it was a great death scene, Murdock. 607 00:43:05,817 --> 00:43:07,360 One of the best. 608 00:43:09,987 --> 00:43:12,532 Now, this was an E-ticket ride. 609 00:43:12,698 --> 00:43:17,161 You didn't get your coupon. But, who cares when you're having fun? 610 00:43:23,376 --> 00:43:24,794 I know this guy's one weakness... 611 00:43:24,877 --> 00:43:26,421 is playing these geek monsters. 612 00:43:26,504 --> 00:43:30,174 He's gonna show. I'm going in. Captain, you're with me. 613 00:43:30,299 --> 00:43:33,511 Nobody moves off this position until I give them the word. 614 00:43:33,594 --> 00:43:35,346 We're on Channel 15. 615 00:43:35,638 --> 00:43:37,515 Cooper, you moved early last time. 616 00:43:37,682 --> 00:43:40,726 You make a move on him this time without my authorization... 617 00:43:40,810 --> 00:43:44,730 and you're gonna be peeling spuds in the officers' mess for the next two years. 618 00:43:44,856 --> 00:43:46,774 - Right, sir. - Move out, Captain. 619 00:43:51,737 --> 00:43:54,365 Military police. I want to talk to your manager. 620 00:43:54,490 --> 00:43:55,825 Yeah. Sure. 621 00:43:55,950 --> 00:43:57,263 Mr. Deever. 622 00:43:57,288 --> 00:43:59,245 - Deever. - He's the owner. 623 00:44:00,746 --> 00:44:02,039 What do you want, honey? 624 00:44:02,331 --> 00:44:05,585 These men are military police. They want to talk to you. 625 00:44:05,751 --> 00:44:07,295 What is it, sonny? 626 00:44:07,503 --> 00:44:08,754 Oh. 627 00:44:09,172 --> 00:44:12,884 They're in the army. Used to be in the army myself. 628 00:44:12,967 --> 00:44:15,845 Yeah, in the big one. World War I. 629 00:44:15,970 --> 00:44:18,055 That's nice. Look. 630 00:44:18,222 --> 00:44:20,150 There might be some fugitives in this theatre. 631 00:44:20,175 --> 00:44:20,862 Huh? 632 00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:23,816 There might be some fugitives in this theatre. 633 00:44:23,849 --> 00:44:24,861 Oh, fugitives. 634 00:44:24,907 --> 00:44:28,316 The Captain and I want to go in and check out your house. 635 00:44:30,651 --> 00:44:33,321 You have to be on the run to want to see this turkey. 636 00:44:33,446 --> 00:44:35,031 Come on, I'll show you the way. 637 00:44:35,281 --> 00:44:37,241 - Can I give you a hand? - No. 638 00:44:37,366 --> 00:44:38,993 Maybe up the steps, here. 639 00:44:39,118 --> 00:44:42,496 I got a piece of shrapnel. Some of Jerry's shrapnel. 640 00:44:42,747 --> 00:44:44,207 At the Argonne forest. 641 00:44:44,290 --> 00:44:46,375 Well, let me give you a little help. Thank you very much. 642 00:44:47,501 --> 00:44:48,878 There we go. 643 00:44:48,961 --> 00:44:52,006 We got at them with our .50's. Kaboom! Kaboom! Kaboom! 644 00:44:52,089 --> 00:44:53,925 - You got them. - Yeah. 645 00:44:54,675 --> 00:44:56,636 We let them have it with the gas. 646 00:44:57,178 --> 00:44:59,013 Look, can we move along? 647 00:44:59,096 --> 00:45:01,224 - I got a job to do. - Yes, sir, doing my best here. 648 00:45:01,349 --> 00:45:02,808 - How is that? - That's great. 649 00:45:02,934 --> 00:45:04,477 - That fast? - Yes, sir, General. 650 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,604 - You bet, here we go. - Yeah. 651 00:45:06,729 --> 00:45:07,980 Over the top. 652 00:45:08,147 --> 00:45:10,329 - Over there. - World War I? 653 00:45:10,354 --> 00:45:11,803 Over there. You bet. 654 00:45:11,828 --> 00:45:13,861 - Yeah, trenches. - Yes, sir. 655 00:45:14,028 --> 00:45:16,614 - Over there. - Oh, yeah. 656 00:45:16,864 --> 00:45:19,116 I'm going to get over there in a minute, sonny. 657 00:45:20,076 --> 00:45:23,829 This here steel door is to an observation room. 658 00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:28,292 You can look right down into the theatre. 659 00:45:29,502 --> 00:45:31,295 That way... 660 00:45:32,046 --> 00:45:36,509 you can spot your man without disturbing the audience. 661 00:45:39,553 --> 00:45:41,389 Oh, drat. 662 00:45:43,808 --> 00:45:47,061 Here, here, here. Hold this, let me do it. Give me. Give me. 663 00:45:47,186 --> 00:45:48,521 All right. 664 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,773 You got it? 665 00:45:51,649 --> 00:45:53,901 Nothing to it. Nothing to it, General. Thank you. 666 00:45:57,488 --> 00:46:00,741 You dummy! This is the wrong room. 667 00:46:01,242 --> 00:46:03,160 You got the wrong room, Decker. 668 00:46:05,037 --> 00:46:06,872 Excuse me, young man. 669 00:46:07,623 --> 00:46:10,710 Thank you. Hello, honey. 670 00:46:11,460 --> 00:46:15,047 Fellow told me to tell you that Colonel Decker... 671 00:46:15,506 --> 00:46:19,343 is locked in a concrete room and not to worry. 672 00:46:27,435 --> 00:46:28,894 Roll it, Jer. 673 00:46:29,729 --> 00:46:31,272 Marvin, roll it. 674 00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:41,574 I don't know, Johnny. 675 00:46:41,782 --> 00:46:44,452 I still think iridescent purple would have looked good. 676 00:46:44,660 --> 00:46:47,455 Trust me, Jer, I know sea monsters. 677 00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:51,625 After all, show business is my life.