1 00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:04,113 - You're not Hannibal? - Oh, Jim Beam's the name... 2 00:00:04,196 --> 00:00:06,406 and drinking's the game. 3 00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:07,783 Well, then where is he? 4 00:00:07,950 --> 00:00:08,784 Who the heck are you? 5 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,536 - Jack? - Jack Daniels. 6 00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:12,412 I think they got a body laundry. 7 00:00:12,496 --> 00:00:14,248 There's a piece of nifty news. 8 00:00:14,331 --> 00:00:15,874 B.A., I'm coming over the wall. 9 00:00:17,292 --> 00:00:19,998 We're gonna open a mission across the street from the Moonlight Mission... 10 00:00:20,023 --> 00:00:21,271 and run them out of business. 11 00:00:21,296 --> 00:00:22,714 Hallelujah! 12 00:00:26,301 --> 00:00:29,763 - This is all too good to be true. - I know. 13 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:34,351 In 1972, a crack commando unit... 14 00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:36,145 was sent to prison by a military court... 15 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,688 for a crime they didn't commit. 16 00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:38,981 These men promptly escaped... 17 00:00:39,148 --> 00:00:40,566 from a maximum-security stockade... 18 00:00:40,691 --> 00:00:42,276 to the Los Angeles underground. 19 00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:43,944 Today, still wanted by the government... 20 00:00:44,069 --> 00:00:45,946 they survive as soldiers of fortune. 21 00:00:46,071 --> 00:00:48,490 If you have a problem, if no one else can help... 22 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,867 and if you can find them... 23 00:00:49,992 --> 00:00:52,411 maybe you can hire the A-Team. 24 00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:29,716 May I take your order, sir? 25 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,802 Just coffee for now, please. 26 00:02:36,181 --> 00:02:38,809 I rest my case, mein Colonel. 27 00:02:38,934 --> 00:02:42,187 The woman came to the table, she looked around... 28 00:02:42,271 --> 00:02:44,356 and she saw only you. 29 00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:45,899 It's because I'm better-looking. 30 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,278 It's because I made myself invisible. 31 00:02:49,444 --> 00:02:51,780 I saw you the whole time, Murdock. 32 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,907 You see, Colonel, all I have to do... 33 00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,660 is just think of white paper. 34 00:02:56,827 --> 00:02:59,204 Just concentrate on white paper, white paper... 35 00:02:59,329 --> 00:03:03,208 and then whammo-bammo, I'm gone. People can't see me. 36 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,104 - Hi, Hannibal. - Hi, guys. 37 00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:27,190 Well, that's her. That's my new ride. 38 00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,192 Loudest noise in it is the electric clock. 39 00:03:29,359 --> 00:03:31,194 Man, is that clock loud. 40 00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:36,199 Oh, boy. 41 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,201 Where's Murdock? 42 00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,787 - Here he is. Right here, man. - Where? 43 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:44,082 Nice try, Face, but I know you picked him up this morning... 44 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,960 so you've already seen his "Carmine the Invisible" act. 45 00:03:47,085 --> 00:03:50,130 I'm coming back into focus. 46 00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:53,091 My molecular structure is reversing. 47 00:03:53,175 --> 00:03:56,678 I'm solid and... And I'm back. Hi, guys. Miss me? 48 00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,056 Oh, my gosh. There he is. He's back. 49 00:03:59,514 --> 00:04:01,725 Minus the baseball cap, of course. 50 00:04:02,684 --> 00:04:04,186 Oh, by the way, reason I'm late is... 51 00:04:04,269 --> 00:04:06,229 I stopped off to sign the sales agreement. 52 00:04:06,605 --> 00:04:09,649 Yeah, I figured, with all the cash we got now, why not? 53 00:04:09,775 --> 00:04:13,737 You only live once, guys. You gotta grab all the gusto and Excaliburs you can. 54 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,365 We don't have the money yet. 55 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,784 We haven't even taken the job yet. 56 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:20,619 She's coming back. She's coming back. 57 00:04:20,744 --> 00:04:23,705 Now, watch this. I'm going to fade out. Don't let this spook you. 58 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,958 - Hi. - Coffee? 59 00:04:27,084 --> 00:04:28,168 Yeah, thanks. 60 00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:29,378 Milk. 61 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,257 It's getting easier. 62 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:37,219 When I first realized I could do this... 63 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:40,305 it would take sometimes an hour or more... 64 00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:42,057 for me to reverse my molecular structure. 65 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,351 You know, Murdock, sometime I wish you were invisible... 66 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,186 'cause you don't ever seem to go away. 67 00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:49,189 Guys, this Christina Trapolis is a little bit too good to be true. 68 00:04:49,272 --> 00:04:51,274 I mean, she wants us to fly to Monaco... 69 00:04:51,483 --> 00:04:53,652 spend two weeks in her penthouse apartment... 70 00:04:53,735 --> 00:04:55,946 followed by 10 days in her 200-foot yacht... 71 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,740 all in the name of upgrading her security. 72 00:04:58,824 --> 00:05:03,787 And for this hazardous piece of work, she's willing to pay $300,000... 73 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:04,955 half of it up front. 74 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,374 She should be selling bridges in Brooklyn. 75 00:05:07,457 --> 00:05:08,959 Oh, come on, Hannibal, please! 76 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:12,295 The Brooklyn Bridge goes for $500,000, $600,000 minimum. 77 00:05:12,421 --> 00:05:15,507 Believe me, I know. I've sold it twice already. 78 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,176 Boy, I'd love to own that bridge. 79 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:20,345 I think she's a bird dog for Decker. 80 00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:23,515 I'm going to run her past Jack Daniels when she brings the money this afternoon. 81 00:05:23,598 --> 00:05:27,978 I've got it set up in an alley downtown. But I want you guys on a roof. 82 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:31,898 I've got a feeling that Decker's gonna show, and I might need a bail-out. 83 00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:38,155 Oh, when did you come in? Can I get you some coffee? 84 00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,118 Wait a minute. I ain't going for it, guys. 85 00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:45,579 You told her. She's in on this. 86 00:06:08,643 --> 00:06:10,437 Tell B.A. he's in place. 87 00:06:11,188 --> 00:06:13,982 Invisible Apple to Apple 1, Invisible Apple to Apple 1, come in. 88 00:06:14,065 --> 00:06:15,901 Hey, fool, you Apple 2. 89 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:17,611 Now, don't be messing with the radio codes. 90 00:06:17,736 --> 00:06:19,696 Now, this is Invisible Apple reporting... 91 00:06:19,821 --> 00:06:21,615 that Apple 3 is in position... 92 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,950 and Apple 4 is on the binoculars. 93 00:06:24,075 --> 00:06:28,663 And yours truly is moving in and out of a rainstorm of molecular activity. 94 00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:34,503 I didn't hear you come in. 95 00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:38,048 I have been looking for a new domicile. 96 00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,800 - Jim Beam. - Jack Daniels. 97 00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:44,638 A moniker, I admit, but it shields me... 98 00:06:44,888 --> 00:06:48,600 from the torments of reflective introspection. 99 00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:52,145 You use some pretty fancy words there, Jack. 100 00:06:52,229 --> 00:06:55,732 It's a holdover from my early days. 101 00:06:55,857 --> 00:06:59,277 Listen, if I was you, I wouldn't sleep in this alley. 102 00:06:59,402 --> 00:07:02,155 Two guys disappeared in the last two weeks. 103 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,740 Is that so? 104 00:07:03,949 --> 00:07:05,742 - For what purpose? - Don't know. 105 00:07:05,867 --> 00:07:09,204 They got some guy down here picking off our guys. 106 00:07:09,412 --> 00:07:12,457 I don't know why. I've been trying to stay at the mission... 107 00:07:12,541 --> 00:07:15,919 but after two or three days they make you, you know, pack up and go off... 108 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,712 let somebody else have a chance. 109 00:07:17,879 --> 00:07:21,299 But they got a list. Two weeks before you can go back again. 110 00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:24,386 Did anybody call the constabulary? 111 00:07:24,553 --> 00:07:26,388 You may have noticed that the police... 112 00:07:26,471 --> 00:07:29,432 don't have a real high interest in bums. 113 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,312 Are you hungry, Jack? 114 00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:37,065 Look. You see that restaurant down there? 115 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,151 Guy at the mission told me you get a handout down there. 116 00:07:40,402 --> 00:07:42,946 - Ask for William. - William. 117 00:07:43,822 --> 00:07:46,157 I thank you for your courtesy. 118 00:07:56,668 --> 00:07:58,628 Molecules, they don't know nothing. 119 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,715 No, you got to use mental stimulation. 120 00:08:02,632 --> 00:08:04,509 - Electrified ions-- - Hey, Murdock, I'm in a... 121 00:08:04,593 --> 00:08:05,844 Who are you talking to? What are you talking about? 122 00:08:05,927 --> 00:08:07,387 Never mind, never mind. Listen. 123 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,723 We got a small problem. I'm a little confused. 124 00:08:09,806 --> 00:08:12,517 There's two winos down there. Now, I don't know which is which. 125 00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:14,019 Did Hannibal have a bald head... 126 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,021 or did he have the beard and the red hair? - What you asking me for? 127 00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:18,148 You're the one who goes and buys the wigs and the makeup all the time. 128 00:08:18,273 --> 00:08:19,691 Well, listen, there are two winos there... 129 00:08:19,816 --> 00:08:22,277 one of them just sitting still, the other one's gone to the back of the restaurant. 130 00:08:22,444 --> 00:08:24,863 Well, then, we'll have to go down there and take a look at them. 131 00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:27,699 - No. Hannibal would be the one sitting down. - No, not necessarily. 132 00:08:27,782 --> 00:08:29,534 If he thought there was gonna be trouble, he might move... 133 00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:31,494 away from the other wino. - Negatory, good buddy. Negatory. 134 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,080 Hannibal would be holding his turf, knowing that if he was with a wino... 135 00:08:34,205 --> 00:08:36,833 we wouldn't know which wino was his wino, which wino wasn't his wino. 136 00:08:36,958 --> 00:08:40,045 And the wino he was is the wino he'd want us to see, you know? 137 00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:49,012 Good sir, I am seeking one known as William. 138 00:09:00,482 --> 00:09:02,067 Invisible Apple to Apple 1. 139 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,526 We got two winos in the alley. 140 00:09:03,652 --> 00:09:05,654 Face thinks that Hannibal is the wino that moved away from you. 141 00:09:05,737 --> 00:09:08,073 I think Hannibal is the one sitting right in the middle of the alley. 142 00:09:08,198 --> 00:09:09,741 But it's up to you, big guy. 143 00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,327 I mean, this is too tall to call from the top of Spencer's Mountain. 144 00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:13,453 Right. 145 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,921 Face! Something's shaking. Get on that walkie-talkie. 146 00:09:23,046 --> 00:09:24,881 Tell that ugly mudsucker that an ambulance just pulled up. 147 00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:26,925 Apple 1-- They're going into the restaurant. 148 00:09:27,008 --> 00:09:29,302 But Hannibal, he is still right down there in the middle of the alley. 149 00:09:29,427 --> 00:09:30,845 B.A., we got an ambulance. 150 00:09:30,929 --> 00:09:32,639 Pull up to the far side of the alley. Over. 151 00:09:42,023 --> 00:09:43,608 Listen, B.A., stay on that ambulance. 152 00:09:43,668 --> 00:09:45,474 I'm not sure who's in it. It could be Hannibal. 153 00:09:45,499 --> 00:09:46,239 Could be. 154 00:09:46,264 --> 00:09:48,645 It could be the other wino. Could be somebody from the restaurant. 155 00:09:50,031 --> 00:09:51,658 Here comes the girl. 156 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,410 Hey, man, what do you want me to do? 157 00:09:53,535 --> 00:09:55,912 Follow the ambulance or watch the dude in the alley? 158 00:09:56,037 --> 00:09:58,289 I'm telling you, that's Hannibal sitting right in the middle of the alley. 159 00:09:58,456 --> 00:09:59,874 Your call, Lieutenant. 160 00:10:02,544 --> 00:10:04,587 All right, well, stay put. She's got the briefcase. 161 00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,882 Remember, guys, that's our money in there. We'll hold and wait. 162 00:10:11,261 --> 00:10:12,679 I have your money. 163 00:10:13,263 --> 00:10:16,182 $150,000 in advance. 164 00:10:18,643 --> 00:10:20,103 This is my money? 165 00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:21,229 Take it. 166 00:10:27,986 --> 00:10:31,197 That's it. That's it, guys. It's Hannibal. He's got the money. 167 00:10:46,504 --> 00:10:48,047 Grab him! 168 00:10:48,673 --> 00:10:52,302 And throw him in the back of that truck, and don't be gentle about it. 169 00:10:53,011 --> 00:10:55,930 They got Hannibal. Invisible Apple to Apple 1. They got Apple 3. 170 00:10:56,014 --> 00:10:57,348 Not yet, they haven't. 171 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:11,529 Search the entire area. The rest of the A-Team can't be far. 172 00:11:13,323 --> 00:11:14,491 Corporal... 173 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,581 Hey, what's going on? 174 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:30,924 Drop your weapons. 175 00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:33,760 Get down on the floor. 176 00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:37,430 There they are. Open fire! 177 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,439 Come on, Face! 178 00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:07,836 It was a setup, but at least you got the money, Hannibal. 179 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:11,047 Who's Hannibal? Everybody calling me Hannibal. 180 00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:14,300 - You not Hannibal? - Oh, Jim Beam's the name... 181 00:12:14,384 --> 00:12:16,553 and drinking's the game. 182 00:12:16,845 --> 00:12:19,055 Hey, guys, this ain't Hannibal. 183 00:12:19,556 --> 00:12:21,099 Well, then where is he? 184 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,561 Hello, hello. 185 00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:30,525 Whom do I owe for this odyssey into the world of science? 186 00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:33,236 I understand your name is Jim Beam. 187 00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,613 I go by many names, sir... 188 00:12:35,697 --> 00:12:39,325 but if you could edify and clarify... 189 00:12:40,451 --> 00:12:41,911 where it is I am... 190 00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:44,455 and to what purpose? - All right, do it. 191 00:12:44,539 --> 00:12:48,710 Chart and draw everything. Tattoos, identifying marks, height, weight, everything. 192 00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:52,672 Am I here for a physical examination? 193 00:12:53,089 --> 00:12:54,507 What the hell is this? 194 00:12:56,342 --> 00:12:57,468 Oh. 195 00:12:58,136 --> 00:12:59,512 That is a wig. 196 00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:01,139 Sometimes I wear it by itself... 197 00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:04,058 sometimes I wear it with my Groucho nose and glasses. 198 00:13:04,142 --> 00:13:06,102 This guy's wearing makeup. Who the heck are you? 199 00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,438 Well, I can see why you guys are confused. 200 00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:09,981 But think about me. 201 00:13:10,064 --> 00:13:12,108 I mean, I walk into a back of a restaurant... 202 00:13:12,233 --> 00:13:14,527 and the next thing I know, I'm in a science fiction movie. 203 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,488 He's not the guy we're looking for. He's not even the right age. 204 00:13:17,572 --> 00:13:20,783 I'm a newspaperman. My name is Thomas Fullerton lll. 205 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,702 I was working on an article on transients... 206 00:13:22,785 --> 00:13:25,872 and I wanted to see if I could infiltrate... 207 00:13:26,164 --> 00:13:27,790 to see what I could find out. 208 00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:30,209 - He's a newsman. - You don't like newsmen. 209 00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:33,796 How about firemen? Mailmen? 210 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,049 Cop? Wrong. 211 00:13:39,636 --> 00:13:41,846 Say, I've been trying to lay off, you know... 212 00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:45,099 I don't really think I need that. You're not very... 213 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,898 Now what do we do? 214 00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:55,818 We get a can of lye and a shovel. 215 00:13:55,985 --> 00:13:59,280 Take him out, plant him, see what comes up in the spring. 216 00:14:07,038 --> 00:14:10,291 So, you told him to go to the back of the restaurant, huh? 217 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,876 - Well-- - Why? 218 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,545 Well, there was a friend of mine at the Moonlight Mission... 219 00:14:14,671 --> 00:14:16,297 that told me there was a guy there... 220 00:14:16,381 --> 00:14:18,508 that would give me a free handout. 221 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:21,052 Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, cuz. 222 00:14:21,219 --> 00:14:23,346 I know a little something about skid row. 223 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,556 Restaurant owners don't give handouts. 224 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:28,351 They don't want a crowd of winos hanging out in front of their restaurant. 225 00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:32,105 No, no, he told me to ask for William. He's in the kitchen. 226 00:14:32,188 --> 00:14:34,273 And then he'd give me something... 227 00:14:35,525 --> 00:14:37,944 and I told your friend Jack. - Jack? 228 00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:40,697 That's what Hannibal calls his wino. Jack Daniels. 229 00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:42,407 So, you told Jack... 230 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,075 and he goes to the restaurant... 231 00:14:44,242 --> 00:14:47,453 and gets slammed in the back of the ambulance and pulled out of there. 232 00:14:47,662 --> 00:14:49,205 Huh, wh-- 233 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,457 W-What's going on here? 234 00:14:51,666 --> 00:14:54,585 Well, Hannibal was right about one thing. 235 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,422 Christina works for Decker. 236 00:14:57,547 --> 00:14:59,799 I think I'm going to pay this guy William at the restaurant... 237 00:14:59,824 --> 00:15:01,009 a little visit. 238 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,975 Good idea, B.A. 239 00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:08,307 You guys are going to set medicine back 50 years. 240 00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:09,642 What paper are you with? 241 00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:12,937 The Buffalo Chip Town Crier and Farm Report. 242 00:15:12,962 --> 00:15:14,815 I don't like it, Jack. He sounds like a cop. 243 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,298 Shut up, Bobby. 244 00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:19,110 You better start talking, friend... 245 00:15:19,193 --> 00:15:21,988 or I'm going to do open-heart surgery with this shovel. 246 00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:25,241 In that case, I got two questions. 247 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:29,412 Are you sure you're qualified, and will it hurt? 248 00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,955 A wise guy, huh? 249 00:15:32,081 --> 00:15:34,042 All right, let's go! 250 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,464 The MPs are still around. 251 00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,215 They're probably in there asking questions. 252 00:15:41,299 --> 00:15:42,800 One of us have to go in. 253 00:15:43,134 --> 00:15:44,552 It's gotta be Murdock. 254 00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:47,305 He's the only one who's not wanted by the MPs. 255 00:15:50,141 --> 00:15:51,476 Let's go. 256 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,829 White paper. White paper. 257 00:16:11,913 --> 00:16:14,540 I'm concentrating on white paper. 258 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:18,169 - I'm gone, right, Face? - You always have been, Murdock. 259 00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:29,514 Oh, man, nobody ever comes in here. 260 00:16:38,272 --> 00:16:39,732 I'm looking for William. 261 00:16:40,191 --> 00:16:42,735 Hey, William, you got a visitor. 262 00:16:52,787 --> 00:16:56,249 William? I thought someone was there. 263 00:17:03,381 --> 00:17:05,174 Now, I don't want to complain... 264 00:17:05,341 --> 00:17:08,594 but I don't believe this area's been properly irrigated. 265 00:17:08,719 --> 00:17:12,223 I mean, I'm only down here about four feet, and I'm down to bedrock. 266 00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:15,059 Now, if you want a nice, deep grave... 267 00:17:15,143 --> 00:17:17,520 I mean, where I won't get plowed up in the spring... 268 00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,606 we really ought to try over by the road. Shut up! 269 00:17:20,690 --> 00:17:23,276 I'm getting tired of your chatter and your crummy jokes. 270 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,278 You act like you're going to a birthday party. 271 00:17:25,403 --> 00:17:27,029 We're going to kill you, goofball. 272 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:29,073 Really? Tough luck for me. 273 00:17:29,699 --> 00:17:32,326 I got a good joke for you. Gorilla story. 274 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,290 This gorilla comes into a bar and orders a drink. 275 00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:38,916 Bartender doesn't know what to do... 276 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,377 so he goes down the bar and he asks the owner. 277 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:44,881 Now, the owner, he never had a gorilla in his bar before... 278 00:17:45,006 --> 00:17:47,633 and he doesn't want his bar to become a hangout for gorillas... 279 00:17:47,717 --> 00:17:51,304 but he doesn't want this animal to get angry and tear the place up... 280 00:17:51,429 --> 00:17:55,266 so he says, "Serve him, charge him $20. Maybe he'll go away." 281 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,768 So the bartender does. 282 00:17:58,186 --> 00:18:00,813 He grabs the gorilla's $20 and he says... 283 00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:04,066 "We don't get many gorillas in here"... 284 00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:09,530 and the gorilla says, "No wonder, look at the prices you charge." 285 00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,743 Great story, huh? 286 00:18:15,578 --> 00:18:19,248 Keep them coming, whitey. You're gonna die laughing. 287 00:18:19,415 --> 00:18:21,876 Well, promises, promises. 288 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:23,920 Uh-oh. 289 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,130 I'm gonna need that pickax. 290 00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:28,174 Cover him. 291 00:18:30,927 --> 00:18:32,595 Now, everybody stand back. 292 00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:35,765 I don't want anybody hit by flying rock. 293 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:38,726 As I always like to say... 294 00:18:39,477 --> 00:18:42,396 a cautious worker never needs an excuse. 295 00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,533 He's getting away. Get him! 296 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:40,204 Okay, Bill. The temperature of the water in this place is 200 degrees, huh? 297 00:19:40,538 --> 00:19:43,874 Now, I hate to see you get parboiled... 298 00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:46,252 with Murdock's sock in your mouth... 299 00:19:46,377 --> 00:19:50,298 so why don't you tell us who you're working for... 300 00:19:50,381 --> 00:19:52,842 and where Hannibal's been taken? 301 00:19:56,554 --> 00:20:00,057 No screaming, huh? This is a very sedate hotel... 302 00:20:00,182 --> 00:20:02,351 and I'd hate to lose my "preferred guest" standing. 303 00:20:02,476 --> 00:20:04,603 Look, look, honest, I don't know. 304 00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:06,147 Some guy I never saw before... 305 00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:09,108 gave me $200 to chloroform a bum. 306 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:11,819 He gave me the chloroform, he told me how to use it. 307 00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:14,822 Well, what did this guy look like, William? 308 00:20:14,905 --> 00:20:16,782 He was a big guy, huge shoulders. 309 00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:20,202 He had a little head, he weighed maybe 200 pounds, maybe more. 310 00:20:20,411 --> 00:20:22,872 He had a tattoo, an anchor on his arm. 311 00:20:22,997 --> 00:20:24,665 - Bluto. - Yeah. 312 00:20:24,999 --> 00:20:26,083 B.A. 313 00:20:28,252 --> 00:20:30,254 If I were you, I'd start talking. 314 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:34,133 Honest. That's what he looks like. 315 00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:36,218 The water's just going to get hotter and hotter. 316 00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:38,429 I'm not lying, I promise. 317 00:20:39,263 --> 00:20:40,931 I think he's telling the truth, Face. 318 00:20:41,015 --> 00:20:42,892 He gave up being tough 20 minutes ago. 319 00:20:43,017 --> 00:20:45,895 Okay, now let's go find this guy and get a line on Hannibal. 320 00:20:46,062 --> 00:20:47,146 Bring him. 321 00:20:52,777 --> 00:20:54,320 Hannibal, what are you-- 322 00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,030 We've been looking all over for you. 323 00:20:56,113 --> 00:20:57,406 Oh, hi, guys. 324 00:20:57,698 --> 00:20:58,991 Do you know what we've been through? 325 00:20:59,075 --> 00:21:00,493 Hey, Hannibal, where you been, man? 326 00:21:00,576 --> 00:21:01,660 I don't know... 327 00:21:01,744 --> 00:21:04,372 but I made some neat new friends. 328 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:08,751 I met a blue-eyed whale in a sharkskin suit who calls himself Bob... 329 00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:10,461 and a doctor named Jack... 330 00:21:10,586 --> 00:21:13,005 who does open-heart surgery with gardening tools. 331 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,840 - What do you say, William? - Who are you? 332 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,217 I'm the guy you chloroformed. 333 00:21:16,384 --> 00:21:18,886 Jack Daniels was an old geezer, a wino. 334 00:21:19,053 --> 00:21:22,473 I, Jack Daniels, remain your humble friend. 335 00:21:22,556 --> 00:21:23,974 Well, I'll be damned. 336 00:21:24,058 --> 00:21:26,310 Well, you were right, Colonel. 337 00:21:26,477 --> 00:21:29,188 Christina works for Decker. 338 00:21:29,397 --> 00:21:31,649 How much? $150,000. 339 00:21:31,732 --> 00:21:33,901 She gave it to Jim there. She thought he was you. 340 00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:37,113 Then he got picked up by Decker, who also thought he was you... 341 00:21:37,238 --> 00:21:39,532 but we broke him out. 342 00:21:39,615 --> 00:21:40,825 We thought he was you. 343 00:21:40,908 --> 00:21:44,829 But, besides saving the wrong man, we were magnificent. 344 00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:46,622 Face was hanging on the outside of the van... 345 00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,207 I was in my invisible station in the front seat... 346 00:21:48,290 --> 00:21:51,335 B.A. was driving and we left Decker upside down cursing. 347 00:21:51,418 --> 00:21:53,963 - Boy, I'm glad that's over. - Yeah, but it isn't. 348 00:21:54,171 --> 00:21:56,048 We're going to take Christina's money... 349 00:21:56,132 --> 00:21:58,843 and find out who's been killing my fellow knights of the road. 350 00:21:58,926 --> 00:22:01,345 I don't know who chloroformed me or where they took me... 351 00:22:01,512 --> 00:22:03,347 but I'm going to find out. - I love it, Colonel. 352 00:22:03,430 --> 00:22:04,640 Well, I hate it, Colonel. 353 00:22:04,765 --> 00:22:06,642 Look, I still owe money on the Excalibur. 354 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,228 B.A. owes money on the reading machines at the daycare center. 355 00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:10,396 That's right, man. 356 00:22:10,479 --> 00:22:13,816 Oh, come on, guys. It's a chance to get down to skid row... 357 00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:15,734 and party with some real gentlemen. 358 00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:18,028 I mean, we got Jim to introduce us... 359 00:22:18,112 --> 00:22:19,280 and we got William to show the way. 360 00:22:19,446 --> 00:22:21,031 He doesn't even know who hired him. 361 00:22:21,198 --> 00:22:24,493 Some 200-pound bald guy with an anchor on his arm. 362 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:25,744 Sounds like Bluto. 363 00:22:25,828 --> 00:22:27,746 There's a guy like that on the row. 364 00:22:27,872 --> 00:22:31,375 Yeah, a big guy, anchor on the arm, yeah, yeah. 365 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:33,335 - Baldheaded? - That's the guy. 366 00:22:33,502 --> 00:22:34,545 Where's he hang out? 367 00:22:34,670 --> 00:22:38,215 Well, I've seen him at that Moonlight Mission on 7th Street. 368 00:22:38,340 --> 00:22:41,635 Okay, now why does Foxy Loxy and Chicken Little... 369 00:22:41,844 --> 00:22:44,138 run around in a shiny white ambulance... 370 00:22:44,221 --> 00:22:47,016 dropping the skin on defenseless winos... 371 00:22:47,141 --> 00:22:51,729 and then taking them to a state-of-the-art hospital... 372 00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:55,232 charting their age, their scars, the color of their eyes... 373 00:22:55,316 --> 00:22:58,485 and then throwing them into a 6-foot pit with a sack of lime? 374 00:22:58,569 --> 00:23:00,821 - Is this multiple choice? - I give up, Colonel. Why? 375 00:23:00,905 --> 00:23:02,656 I think they got a body laundry. 376 00:23:02,823 --> 00:23:05,409 I don't think they want the winos. They want the lDs. 377 00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:09,121 Bums, who went away from society for 10 years... 378 00:23:09,246 --> 00:23:11,874 but still, of course, have their birth certificates. 379 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:16,128 I think somebody at the Moonlight Mission... 380 00:23:16,337 --> 00:23:19,715 fingers the guys who are the right age and the right eye color... 381 00:23:19,798 --> 00:23:21,425 for the guy who wants the lD. 382 00:23:21,550 --> 00:23:23,844 Then they take him to hospital and they wind up in Boot Hill. 383 00:23:23,928 --> 00:23:25,554 And then, later... 384 00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:29,558 the guy who wants the lD, with maybe some scars added... 385 00:23:29,808 --> 00:23:31,769 turns up at City Hall and says... 386 00:23:31,936 --> 00:23:33,562 "I've been on skid row for 10 years... 387 00:23:33,687 --> 00:23:37,608 "but I'm cleaned up now. I need a new lD." And the switch is complete. 388 00:23:37,691 --> 00:23:39,985 - To... why? - Money, Face. 389 00:23:40,152 --> 00:23:43,864 You could sell those lDs to wanted felons for $100,000, easy. 390 00:23:44,031 --> 00:23:45,491 What are you going to do with me? 391 00:23:45,950 --> 00:23:48,535 - Let me go, please. - No, sorry, Willie. 392 00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:50,496 You better stay locked up in the bathroom. 393 00:23:50,579 --> 00:23:54,291 I hesitate to contemplate what the rest of us are gonna be doing. 394 00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:57,294 We're gonna open a mission across the street from the Moonlight Mission... 395 00:23:57,378 --> 00:23:58,629 and run them out of business. 396 00:23:58,796 --> 00:24:00,297 Welcome to... 397 00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:03,634 The Road to Hope Mission... 398 00:24:04,134 --> 00:24:08,180 with that soft-spoken preacher of the road... 399 00:24:09,098 --> 00:24:13,852 Father Foley, whose weapons are love and rosewater. 400 00:24:14,561 --> 00:24:17,815 And his renowned revivalist... 401 00:24:17,940 --> 00:24:21,694 Harry Dean Hanover. Say hallelujah! 402 00:24:21,819 --> 00:24:23,612 Hallelujah, sinners. 403 00:24:23,737 --> 00:24:27,074 Lock your hands and form a circle. We going to take stock of things tonight. 404 00:24:27,157 --> 00:24:30,494 The Lord is shining on your house and all you got to do is let him in. 405 00:24:30,577 --> 00:24:33,414 And on the organ and the tambourine... 406 00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:36,875 Brother Ignatius Blacktop, late of San Quentin... 407 00:24:36,959 --> 00:24:40,170 but now committed to the path of glory. 408 00:24:40,296 --> 00:24:41,505 I don't like it, Hannibal. 409 00:24:41,588 --> 00:24:42,881 Say hallelujah! 410 00:24:42,965 --> 00:24:44,967 - B.A. - Hallelujah. 411 00:24:45,175 --> 00:24:48,804 And where are you going to be, O Righteous One? 412 00:24:48,929 --> 00:24:52,474 On the roof, with a ham sandwich and a pair of binoculars... 413 00:24:52,641 --> 00:24:56,979 waiting for Lean Jack and Chubby Bob to show themselves. Neat, huh? 414 00:25:05,446 --> 00:25:07,906 Anything you scam works for me, Face. 415 00:25:08,157 --> 00:25:11,702 Like that empty building over there. It's perfect, but I need it by tonight. 416 00:25:11,827 --> 00:25:15,789 Tonight? Oh, no, no, no, no. A good scam takes time to set up. 417 00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:17,499 Well, we can spend some money. 418 00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:20,210 Okay, okay. I'll come up with something. 419 00:25:20,377 --> 00:25:22,463 But I'll need help. I'll need... 420 00:25:24,423 --> 00:25:27,760 Murdock. - It's Invisibility at your service. 421 00:25:40,564 --> 00:25:45,569 Yes, and you must be Miss Fulbright of the real estate company? 422 00:25:45,652 --> 00:25:49,073 - Missus. - Pity. I'm J. Pettybean Ross. 423 00:25:49,323 --> 00:25:52,326 And this is my financial assistant, Albert Steiner. 424 00:25:52,409 --> 00:25:53,994 Pleased to meet you, I'm sure. 425 00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:58,082 Mr. Ross, I can't possibly understand what you would want with this building. 426 00:25:58,207 --> 00:26:01,543 - It's almost ready to be condemned. - Condemned? 427 00:26:01,710 --> 00:26:03,962 Oh, no. Looks like we got here in the nick of time, Albert. 428 00:26:04,088 --> 00:26:04,963 I'm sure. 429 00:26:05,172 --> 00:26:07,132 Yes. My card. 430 00:26:08,467 --> 00:26:10,386 You're with the Historical Society? 431 00:26:10,511 --> 00:26:12,888 Well, the Building and Architectural Division. 432 00:26:13,013 --> 00:26:16,642 I know, I know. It doesn't look like much... 433 00:26:17,017 --> 00:26:20,479 but underneath all that stucco and false fronting... 434 00:26:20,562 --> 00:26:25,192 lies an original Michael Fielding Spencer. 435 00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:27,736 - Um... - Michael Fielding Spencer. 436 00:26:27,820 --> 00:26:30,364 Well, he's an architectural genius. 437 00:26:30,531 --> 00:26:33,242 He designed buildings in the South and Southwest. 438 00:26:33,367 --> 00:26:38,080 A few here in LA before his untimely demise in the mid-19th century. 439 00:26:38,205 --> 00:26:41,500 He was hit by a streetcar, June 16, 1948. 440 00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:46,505 Note. Beneath this shell is a classic structure. 441 00:26:46,630 --> 00:26:48,924 Note the detail on the Doric columns. 442 00:26:49,049 --> 00:26:51,260 It's here, here, here... 443 00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:55,180 and the classical winged Cupid with a drawn bow. 444 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:57,057 So you want to purchase the building? 445 00:26:57,182 --> 00:26:59,476 Oh, my. My, my, my, my... 446 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:04,064 Well, what we do, see, is we select buildings of architectural interest. 447 00:27:04,148 --> 00:27:06,275 We invest our own money in their renovation... 448 00:27:06,358 --> 00:27:10,237 and then we seek to get the Historical Society... 449 00:27:10,362 --> 00:27:13,574 to charter them as a national monument. 450 00:27:13,991 --> 00:27:17,411 Obviously, the owners will reap a substantial economic benefit. 451 00:27:17,478 --> 00:27:20,982 - This is all too good to be true. - I know. 452 00:27:51,403 --> 00:27:53,822 Hi. Hi, brothers. 453 00:27:54,364 --> 00:27:58,076 I'm Father Michael Bing Foley. It's so good to see you. 454 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,496 I want you to come on in and have a rest. 455 00:28:00,704 --> 00:28:05,042 Have a steak and give us your best prayer, for which we'll give you... 456 00:28:05,292 --> 00:28:08,587 the Lord's reward of $5. 457 00:28:08,712 --> 00:28:11,256 Small price to pay for the opportunity... 458 00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:14,426 to lure a sinner home to the Lord. 459 00:28:14,593 --> 00:28:18,180 - You got a point there, Bingo. - Yes. Indeed I do, yes. 460 00:28:18,263 --> 00:28:20,224 Well, now, won't you go on in there? 461 00:28:20,390 --> 00:28:23,435 Evangelist Harry Dean Hanover is in the rectory on your right. 462 00:28:23,519 --> 00:28:27,814 That's right, go right on in. Bless you. Home to the Lord. 463 00:28:30,901 --> 00:28:32,611 What, are those guys kidding? 464 00:28:32,778 --> 00:28:35,113 If this keeps up, we won't have anybody in here. 465 00:28:35,322 --> 00:28:38,325 I'd better get in touch with Scarett and Colton. They ain't gonna like this. 466 00:28:40,369 --> 00:28:44,248 You say you can't find him. You say he won't come. 467 00:28:44,498 --> 00:28:48,210 He doesn't visit anymore. I say, stand up! 468 00:28:48,377 --> 00:28:51,588 Stand up and be counted. The Lord will take you back... 469 00:28:51,713 --> 00:28:53,715 if you just stick out your hand. 470 00:28:53,924 --> 00:28:56,468 You. You, sir, tell me... 471 00:28:56,677 --> 00:28:59,596 how many years have you been down here... 472 00:28:59,763 --> 00:29:02,391 laying in the self-pity of your own despair? 473 00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:07,688 - Sixteen years. - Sixteen wine-soaked years. 474 00:29:07,813 --> 00:29:11,191 Sixteen years, laying in the gutter... 475 00:29:11,275 --> 00:29:13,902 sleeping with lice in your hat. 476 00:29:13,986 --> 00:29:17,864 Sixteen years of waste and misery. 477 00:29:18,031 --> 00:29:20,826 Well, I'm saying to you, rise up! 478 00:29:20,993 --> 00:29:23,078 Rise up and shake off this misery. 479 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,789 Rise up and say hallelujah. 480 00:29:25,956 --> 00:29:27,499 Rise up and grab that... 481 00:29:27,666 --> 00:29:29,835 Grab that devil by the neck and cast him out. 482 00:29:29,918 --> 00:29:31,378 Can you do that, brother? 483 00:29:31,587 --> 00:29:35,132 Father Blacktop, show this sinner the road to salvation. 484 00:29:35,257 --> 00:29:37,384 You can be what you wanna be, brother. 485 00:29:37,426 --> 00:29:39,845 - All you got to do is believe. - I will. 486 00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:42,097 Hallelujah! 487 00:29:42,848 --> 00:29:44,766 Who's next? 488 00:29:55,902 --> 00:29:57,195 It's hard to believe. 489 00:29:57,362 --> 00:30:00,699 Hard to believe, but I'm touched. It's a touching story. 490 00:30:01,158 --> 00:30:02,951 Welcome. I'm glad to see you. 491 00:30:03,118 --> 00:30:05,370 Hello, brother. How are you, brother? 492 00:30:05,495 --> 00:30:08,040 Welcome to your new homes, all of you. Yes, eat. 493 00:30:08,123 --> 00:30:11,710 You're gonna have three square meals a day. I'm gonna see to that. 494 00:30:11,877 --> 00:30:16,548 All the clothes you want, all the fivers you could possibly need. 495 00:30:16,798 --> 00:30:18,800 Father Bing is gonna see to that. 496 00:30:19,259 --> 00:30:21,678 Yes, it's good. 497 00:30:22,095 --> 00:30:27,225 Good to see so many well-fed men under one roof. 498 00:30:27,476 --> 00:30:31,647 It makes me wonder where all the female bums are. 499 00:30:31,813 --> 00:30:33,231 Hello, Face. 500 00:30:34,947 --> 00:30:35,917 Yeah. 501 00:30:35,942 --> 00:30:38,236 They're here. Tell B.A. I need him. 502 00:30:38,528 --> 00:30:41,239 We're gonna follow these two cowboys back to where they hang out... 503 00:30:41,323 --> 00:30:42,616 and find out who they are. 504 00:30:42,699 --> 00:30:43,825 Right. 505 00:31:02,469 --> 00:31:05,430 Those guys aren't doctors, they're playboys. 506 00:31:05,806 --> 00:31:07,641 Stand by on the radio, B.A. 507 00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:19,820 Well, look who we got here. 508 00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:23,031 Apple 3 to Apple 4. Apple 3 to Apple 4. 509 00:31:23,156 --> 00:31:24,324 Yeah, Hannibal, what's up? 510 00:31:24,449 --> 00:31:27,953 Fat Bob turns out to be E. Robert Colton... 511 00:31:28,036 --> 00:31:30,288 of the obnoxiously wealthy Coltons. 512 00:31:30,372 --> 00:31:33,208 Oil, hotels, shipping, and textiles. 513 00:31:33,291 --> 00:31:36,211 Which makes Skinny Jack some sort of underworld suckfish. 514 00:31:36,294 --> 00:31:37,546 I'm not sure how he fits in. 515 00:31:37,629 --> 00:31:39,214 What would a billionaire's son be doing... 516 00:31:39,297 --> 00:31:40,716 hanging out with a guy like that? 517 00:31:40,841 --> 00:31:43,719 Why would Christina Trapolis be hanging out with Decker? 518 00:31:44,136 --> 00:31:47,639 I mean, the idle rich are begging for strange playmates. 519 00:31:47,773 --> 00:31:49,891 Must be the French food makes their brains soft. 520 00:31:49,975 --> 00:31:52,060 Boy, I hope it's not something in the caviar. 521 00:31:52,227 --> 00:31:54,062 Yeah. How's Murdock doing? 522 00:31:54,271 --> 00:31:58,567 Well, I believe Murdock's finally found his true calling. 523 00:31:58,692 --> 00:32:00,819 He's in there doing a rain dance now. 524 00:32:00,902 --> 00:32:03,613 Me, I'm singing White Christmas and smiling blandly. 525 00:32:03,697 --> 00:32:05,699 But they're sitting there with their mouths open... 526 00:32:05,782 --> 00:32:07,617 and we aren't even giving away fivers anymore. 527 00:32:07,743 --> 00:32:10,912 I wanted to get into E. Bob's home and feed him some bad news. 528 00:32:10,996 --> 00:32:13,749 I'm gonna need you, Face. I laid out a three-man assault tactic. 529 00:32:13,832 --> 00:32:15,041 All right, where are you? 530 00:32:15,125 --> 00:32:17,502 1512 Cypress Court. 531 00:32:17,627 --> 00:32:19,629 - Hidden Valley. - All right. I'll be right there. 532 00:32:19,713 --> 00:32:21,298 - Out. - ...liquor of the soul. 533 00:33:22,776 --> 00:33:24,027 Welcome... 534 00:33:24,820 --> 00:33:27,197 from the Buffalo Chip Town Crier and Farm Report. 535 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,617 One wrong move and you got a spot in the obituary column. 536 00:33:30,742 --> 00:33:32,410 If I call out, they'll be here in seconds. 537 00:33:32,494 --> 00:33:33,829 You do that, Bob... 538 00:33:33,954 --> 00:33:36,498 then you better tell them to bring a mop, 'cause you're gonna be history. 539 00:33:36,998 --> 00:33:40,043 Tough decision, huh? Tell you what. Let's take a field trip. 540 00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:44,589 If you're real good, I'll let you try on one of my rubber noses. 541 00:33:45,382 --> 00:33:46,967 You don't know what you're messing with. 542 00:33:47,050 --> 00:33:48,760 I think I got a good idea. 543 00:33:49,553 --> 00:33:51,471 Where's Jack, the heart surgeon? 544 00:33:51,638 --> 00:33:53,807 I think he's the one behind all this. 545 00:33:57,602 --> 00:33:59,187 He's at my house in the country. 546 00:33:59,312 --> 00:34:01,398 How about we take a little trip to see him? 547 00:34:01,523 --> 00:34:04,276 Only this time, I'll bring the shovel. 548 00:34:13,410 --> 00:34:15,620 Don't shoot me! Please, please don't shoot me. 549 00:34:15,704 --> 00:34:18,540 Sometimes a guy's got no sense of humor. 550 00:34:18,707 --> 00:34:21,042 B.A., it's in the gutter. 551 00:34:49,195 --> 00:34:51,031 I'll cover you, Hannibal. 552 00:35:40,997 --> 00:35:43,041 B.A., I'm coming over the wall. 553 00:36:08,858 --> 00:36:11,111 That's the way it's done in the majors. 554 00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,749 Victor 3 to Victor 1. Unfriendlies approaching. 555 00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:26,459 Okay, this is the place. 556 00:36:26,543 --> 00:36:29,337 But let's make it fast. That postman could come up from breakfast... 557 00:36:29,462 --> 00:36:30,672 and make a call anytime. 558 00:36:30,797 --> 00:36:33,258 I love it. He's worried about the postal department. 559 00:36:33,341 --> 00:36:35,969 This should be smooth. They don't expect us. 560 00:36:36,511 --> 00:36:38,847 B.A., you take the right. Face, you take the left. 561 00:36:38,930 --> 00:36:40,348 Left, right. 562 00:37:02,620 --> 00:37:04,080 Special delivery. 563 00:37:13,673 --> 00:37:15,300 You've got something for me? 564 00:37:15,425 --> 00:37:17,510 Yeah, I got a great new gorilla story. 565 00:37:17,594 --> 00:37:19,304 I know how you love them, so I came right out. 566 00:37:19,387 --> 00:37:22,348 Save the jokes, 'cause I got plans for you, wise guy. 567 00:37:22,432 --> 00:37:24,976 Let me guess. We're gonna dig some more graves. 568 00:37:25,060 --> 00:37:27,062 The man's a mind reader. 569 00:37:29,189 --> 00:37:32,650 Sorry, guys. It's the ones you don't see coming that always get you. 570 00:37:32,692 --> 00:37:34,944 They're not selling these lDs for money. 571 00:37:35,111 --> 00:37:37,781 Fat Bob is in some kind of urban terrorist group. 572 00:37:37,947 --> 00:37:40,950 All these guys are international scumballs wanted for who-knows-what. 573 00:37:41,117 --> 00:37:44,287 He and Jack the heart surgeon are getting legal lDs... 574 00:37:44,454 --> 00:37:48,124 for their survivalist army so they can live in this country undetected. 575 00:37:48,208 --> 00:37:50,085 Got to give them credit for originality. 576 00:37:50,543 --> 00:37:52,754 - How's it going, B.A.? - Give me a minute. 577 00:37:52,837 --> 00:37:55,757 I just hope that fool knows what to do when he hears the tone. 578 00:37:56,299 --> 00:37:58,760 Well, that thing won't reach all the way into LA, will it? 579 00:37:58,885 --> 00:38:03,431 No. This is a short-range transmitter signal. Only goes about 200 yards. 580 00:38:03,556 --> 00:38:06,017 Well, there's a piece of encouraging news. 581 00:38:06,184 --> 00:38:10,522 Got a relay in the van. The transmitter in there can send to anywhere. 582 00:38:10,647 --> 00:38:11,856 Give me the code, Hannibal. 583 00:38:12,023 --> 00:38:14,150 Sixteen minutes past 6:00. 584 00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:32,127 Let's talk about the road that you traveled. 585 00:38:32,418 --> 00:38:36,256 Then let's plan your trip to glory. 586 00:38:49,686 --> 00:38:51,604 6:16, 6:16. 587 00:38:52,021 --> 00:38:54,149 6:16, 6:16. 588 00:38:57,110 --> 00:38:58,695 6:16 is... 589 00:38:59,696 --> 00:39:01,906 "Mayday. Superior force." 590 00:39:02,448 --> 00:39:04,784 Superior force? But I'm but one man. 591 00:39:04,868 --> 00:39:06,578 A kind of nutty one at that, I... 592 00:39:07,036 --> 00:39:09,539 How am I gonna take on a superior force? 593 00:39:09,831 --> 00:39:14,961 ♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪ 594 00:39:15,086 --> 00:39:20,091 ♪ Marching as to war ♪ 595 00:39:20,925 --> 00:39:26,389 ♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪ 596 00:39:26,556 --> 00:39:31,227 ♪ Marching as before ♪ 597 00:39:31,895 --> 00:39:33,229 We'll get them in their own truck... 598 00:39:33,354 --> 00:39:35,148 take them to that meadow across that road there. 599 00:39:35,273 --> 00:39:38,318 The white-haired guy can tell us funny stories while he digs his grave. 600 00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:41,446 It's theater of the absurd. Wait till you hear it. 601 00:39:41,654 --> 00:39:45,033 You know me, Hannibal. I always like to keep a positive attitude, you know. 602 00:39:45,116 --> 00:39:48,286 But Murdock is one man and they have 30. 603 00:39:48,453 --> 00:39:50,455 Where's he gonna get the troops that he needs? 604 00:39:50,872 --> 00:39:51,956 Are you ready? 605 00:39:52,081 --> 00:39:53,958 Now, I'm gonna circulate among you... 606 00:39:54,042 --> 00:39:56,419 and I'm gonna ask you to fill out a card. 607 00:39:56,669 --> 00:39:58,671 Last name first. 608 00:39:58,755 --> 00:40:02,467 First name, middle name last. 609 00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:05,094 Then, your military rank, if any... 610 00:40:05,178 --> 00:40:08,473 and your military specialty. 611 00:40:09,098 --> 00:40:11,059 Now I'm gonna ask you a question. 612 00:40:11,267 --> 00:40:14,604 How many of you boys have seen service... 613 00:40:14,771 --> 00:40:17,190 in this great nation of ours? 614 00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:19,943 Raise your sinners' hands. Good. 615 00:40:20,068 --> 00:40:23,988 Now I'm gonna ask you a more important question. 616 00:40:24,364 --> 00:40:27,408 How many of you can make yourself invisible? 617 00:40:27,533 --> 00:40:29,035 Raise your hands. 618 00:40:30,453 --> 00:40:33,081 Only one. Good. 619 00:40:33,248 --> 00:40:34,832 And what's your name, sir? 620 00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:38,503 Murdock, Howling Mad. US Army. Captain. 621 00:40:38,586 --> 00:40:40,797 All right, Captain Murdock. 622 00:40:40,964 --> 00:40:45,385 It's gonna be up to you to turn these men into an army. 623 00:40:46,302 --> 00:40:47,512 Roger. 624 00:40:48,304 --> 00:40:52,433 On command. Ready. Forward march! 625 00:40:56,521 --> 00:40:58,564 We're gonna have a little bit of trouble. 626 00:41:04,112 --> 00:41:06,322 Gentlemen, correct me if I'm wrong. 627 00:41:06,447 --> 00:41:08,866 R. Miller, gunner sergeant, United States Air Force? 628 00:41:08,950 --> 00:41:09,826 Affirmative. 629 00:41:09,909 --> 00:41:12,745 P. Neil, military weapons analyst, United States Army? 630 00:41:12,829 --> 00:41:13,746 Yes, sir. 631 00:41:13,871 --> 00:41:16,332 Gentlemen, I have three automatic weapons. 632 00:41:17,166 --> 00:41:18,876 One will be secured by yours truly... 633 00:41:19,002 --> 00:41:21,254 the other two handled expertly by yourselves. 634 00:41:21,379 --> 00:41:24,549 You will now gain control of this vehicle, heeding my direction only. 635 00:41:24,632 --> 00:41:27,135 The rest of you men in the catering truck. 636 00:41:27,677 --> 00:41:30,013 But, men, remember... 637 00:41:30,096 --> 00:41:32,890 some of us won't be coming back. 638 00:41:33,016 --> 00:41:35,393 But those of us that do, will be back... 639 00:41:35,476 --> 00:41:38,771 and those of us that don't come back won't be coming back. 640 00:41:38,855 --> 00:41:43,192 Now, I point this out because if you don't come back, you won't be back. 641 00:41:43,276 --> 00:41:45,820 And if you do come back, you will be back. 642 00:41:46,362 --> 00:41:47,697 Any questions? 643 00:41:49,741 --> 00:41:52,577 Road to Hope Rangers, mount up. 644 00:42:04,964 --> 00:42:06,674 Well, this is more like it. 645 00:42:06,758 --> 00:42:09,719 You should have seen the last one I had to dig. Solid rock. 646 00:42:09,886 --> 00:42:11,346 But this is great. 647 00:42:11,554 --> 00:42:13,306 We'll be finished with this in no time. 648 00:42:13,556 --> 00:42:15,767 Well, there's a piece of nifty news. 649 00:42:15,933 --> 00:42:17,393 Hey, man, you guys must be crazy... 650 00:42:17,518 --> 00:42:19,228 if you think I'm gonna dig my own grave. 651 00:42:20,772 --> 00:42:22,774 There's always one shirker, right, Jack? 652 00:42:22,899 --> 00:42:24,317 Keep it up, whitey... 653 00:42:24,776 --> 00:42:26,736 'cause I'm gonna waste you. 654 00:42:29,781 --> 00:42:32,700 Killing you is really gonna make my day. 655 00:42:32,867 --> 00:42:34,660 I got a great riddle for you. 656 00:42:35,370 --> 00:42:39,749 What are 30 winos doing in a catering truck? 657 00:42:39,916 --> 00:42:40,958 Who cares? 658 00:42:41,042 --> 00:42:43,586 Well, now, that could be a great mistake, Jack. 659 00:42:43,753 --> 00:42:48,424 Because they're all armed and they're all right behind you. 660 00:45:09,732 --> 00:45:13,194 You know, my little jokes seemed to bother you, Jack... 661 00:45:13,819 --> 00:45:16,405 but now you're lucky I got a sense of humor. 662 00:45:23,287 --> 00:45:26,415 You guys were great. You guys were all great. 663 00:45:29,126 --> 00:45:30,878 We had a great commander. 664 00:45:32,088 --> 00:45:35,967 Please! Please, please, I don't wanna hear it. 665 00:45:36,467 --> 00:45:40,721 I did what I did because if I didn't do it, it would have got done. 666 00:45:40,805 --> 00:45:42,348 And I might add that not doing it... 667 00:45:42,431 --> 00:45:46,185 would have been a lot worse than doing it badly, which I was not about to do. 668 00:45:49,605 --> 00:45:51,190 But, please, I... 669 00:45:51,816 --> 00:45:54,777 I feel... I feel like I have to scoot over... 670 00:45:55,236 --> 00:45:59,657 because Father Harry Dean Hanover wants to get a word in. 671 00:45:59,782 --> 00:46:03,536 It was a fine, fine piece of work, men. 672 00:46:03,744 --> 00:46:05,496 A fine piece. 673 00:46:05,579 --> 00:46:09,458 Now, how many of you are gonna swear off that demon rum? 674 00:46:10,876 --> 00:46:12,378 Good. Good. 675 00:46:12,461 --> 00:46:15,923 And how many of you are gonna take that other path to a greater glory? 676 00:46:16,090 --> 00:46:18,843 I'm gonna live with my daughter. 677 00:46:18,926 --> 00:46:21,512 I'm gonna take the room above my kid's garage. 678 00:46:24,557 --> 00:46:27,685 Well then, my work here... 679 00:46:27,893 --> 00:46:29,478 My work here is finished. 680 00:46:29,854 --> 00:46:31,522 There's nothing left for me to do... 681 00:46:31,564 --> 00:46:34,775 but to become invisible and slowly disappear. 682 00:46:37,862 --> 00:46:40,114 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 683 00:46:40,197 --> 00:46:41,615 Well, I'm taking this car back. 684 00:46:41,657 --> 00:46:44,618 I can't have a car full of holes. 685 00:46:46,579 --> 00:46:48,539 That's one noisy clock you got there, Face. 686 00:46:49,248 --> 00:46:51,042 I think we did some good down here. 687 00:46:51,125 --> 00:46:54,462 Yeah, man. You called it, and that fool Murdock did it. 688 00:46:54,795 --> 00:46:56,756 Makes you wonder who's crazy.