[Jessica] Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.
-Are you a reporter? -Crime is my beat.
Murder my specialty.
The story is dead. D-e-a-d.
I understand dead.
But what wasn't a blur, is a complete blank.
A bronze apple core belong to David Eisenhower.
Sweetheart, not again tonight.
I'm sorry, honey. Can't be helped.
That's you... if you put on any show about my bears.
I'm gonna make you a star.
Is that your solution? To kill me?
[cheerful orchestral music]
[gun clicking]
[ominous dramatic music]
[gun shot rings out]
And down goes another of our valiant men in blue.
A victim.
A victim of misplaced faith.
Thank God that this was not a real tragedy,
but rather a graphic demonstration of self-serving exaggeration,
and, yes, even fraud,
and a courtesy of the Acme "bulletproof vest" Company,
who claim that their product can withstand a .45 caliber slug.
Well, Clare, let's show our viewers the tragic results of this impartial test.
Had this flimsy protection been worn by one of Denver's finest,
that bullet would have ripped through the vest
-and into the che-- -Mr. Chambers.
Look, not a scratch.
[Kenneth] What?
[Clare] The vest.
It really works.
-Cut. Cut the cameras. -[bell rings]
[Kenneth] Look, are you people all incompetent or what?
Look, I blow ten holes in ten vests, and the damn thing works!
When we do it for the camera, the damn thing works!
Now, where the hell is Ryan?
Look, would someone get me a cannon?
I want something that will blow a hole in that thing.
Steve, damn it.
Can't you do something about these lights?
They're burning a hole in my head.
Don't tell me.
"Go find Ryan."
Murray, you wanna bring the lights down
before the prima donna's head melts off,
or somebody blows it off?
Ryan?
-[telephone rings] -See you later, babe.
If you're through notching your bedpost,
why don't you zip up your brain and get back to work?
Oh, what? Is the great one having another temper tantrum?
Mr. Chambers needs you. Now!
No, what he needs is a good swift kick.
Move it, romeo.
[Jayne] I can't believe it's been seven years since the wedding.
And your dance marathon with my crazy uncle Buck.
[laughter]
You know, if Steve hadn't rescued me,
my feet would still be hurting.
How is your dear husband?
Ooh, well, nobody said the honeymoon would last forever.
Oh, don't like the sound of that.
Oh, we're muddling through, Jess.
But I can sum up the problem in two words: Kenneth Chambers.
-Steve produces his program. -Chambers.
Oh, yes, I remember. You wrote me about him.
A compulsive egomaniac suffering from delusions of grandeur?
That was last month. These days he's even worse.
And I think Steve would like to quit his job,
but then there'd be two of us out of work.
Well, you could always reestablish your practice.
Mmm, most of my patients have scattered to other psychiatrists.
Besides, it'd be like stepping backwards.
Oh, look, enough about my troubles. Steve can't wait to see you,
and I can't tell you how delighted he is
that you are going to guest on his new book review program.
Well, anyone who would rescue me from your uncle Buck
deserves my lifelong gratitude.
[laughter]
[Kenneth huffs]
This is the rough footage we got with Flannigan.
The Acme vest?
Well, it's cumbersome.
I mean, I wouldn't put it on my dog if I expected him to fetch the paper.
But in a dangerous situation,
it's the most effective product I've ever seen.
Boring testimonial stuff, right?
Now, take a look at this next one.
I had our boys do a little bit of editing.
[Flannigan] The Acme vest?
[gunfire]
[Flannigan] In a dangerous situation, I wouldn't put it on my dog.
Kenneth, that's unethical.
It's brilliant.
Look, who cares?
I care.
Oh, jeez, that's not fair.
Kenneth... [sighs] ...there isn't a South American coup
that can match the one I just pulled off.
The Hammett cheese tapes.
They're all we need to throw Hammett into the fondue,
as it were.
That story's dead.
What do you mean, dead?
I spent weeks digging up this evidence.
It's all here.
Watch my lips, Lynnette. The story is dead.
D-e-a-d.
You do understand dead, don't you?
I understand dead.
Oh, thanks.
For all your support, Steve.
[clears throat] Got a minute for a famous author?
-Jessica. Oh, my gosh. You look great. -[laughter]
Oh, I would have been at the airport,
but things have got a little crazed around here.
I know, a show a week, ready or not.
-Believe me. I know all about deadlines. -[laughter]
-Hiya, honey. -Hiya, honey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Not this stuff again, please.
Jayne, when are you gonna dump this loser
and run off with a certified winner like me?
Hmm, when you get a new line.
Rob, I believe you have met Jessica Fletcher.
Oh, yes. At the wedding. As I remember,
you were the life of the party, Mr. Warren.
Oh, well, forgive me, Mrs. Fletcher,
but what wasn't a blur is a complete blank.
-Well, that's very convenient. -[laughter]
But when one's best friend steals the love of his life from under his nose,
it's either "laugh, clown, laugh" or slit your wrists,
and I didn't have the blood to spare.
[laughter]
[Rob] But, Jessica,
if there is anything that I can do for you
while you're in Denver, you need only command.
Oh, this young man has got to be your number one salesman.
Used to be. Used to be. Then they promoted me to station manager,
either out of pity or desperation. I haven't figured that one out yet.
Uh, so, Jessica, let me take you on the 50 cent tour.
I think these two want to talk about us.
Oh, that's very nice. Thank you.
So, how was the rest of your day?
Ah, all things considered, almost placid.
But, then, the day is not over yet.
Yeah.
[tires screeching]
Excuse me.
Mr. Rinaldi.
Mr. Rinaldi, Sir.
You can't park like that, Sir.
[Mr. Rinaldi] Where's Chambers?
[Clare] Wait. You can't go in there.
-[Mr. Rinaldi] Thank you. -[Clare] No!
I'm sorry, Mr. Chambers. I tried to stop him.
What are you trynna do, destroy me?
How are you, Joe?
My ulcer is acting up,
and I ain't about to eat a boatload of stuffed bears from Taiwan.
Now, I spent a fortune on these stupid toys,
and you're not about to ruin me.
Well, those bears are unsafe, Joe.
Unsafe?
No.
This is unsafe, and I'm warning you, Chambers.
That's you if you put on any show about my bears.
And here, of course, the pièce de résistance,
a rogues' gallery of life's famous losers.
Kenneth Chambers' wall of fame and shame.
[Kenneth] [yelling] Clare!
Yes, Sir?
[Kenneth] I thought I told Ryan to have this TV fixed.
Now, where the hell is he?
I'll find him.
TV repairman.
[Kenneth] Very funny, Warren. Very funny.
Suppose you channel that sense of humor of yours into--
J.B. Fletcher.
Now, this is a pleasure.
Steve told me that you were coming.
I can't tell you how much I admire your work.
Why, thank you, Mr. Chambers.
I've heard a great deal about you as well.
Is that right? What? The article in the New York Times?
Uh, from Jayne and Steve.
Oh.
Well, Steve's great.
Great. Like my right arm.
I couldn't get along without him.
Say! Now, I hope you're staying for the next few days.
-Well I-- -Well, I've got a terrific show
lined up for Saturday evening.
I'm Pulling the plug on Rinaldi toys.
[Rob] Oh, come on, Kenneth.
I thought that we'd already discussed this.
Joe Rinaldi plunks down a lot of advertising bucks in this station.
But that doesn't give him a license to bilk our public, now, does it, Rob?
Look, the man is a menace.
Besides which, I've got an obligation to my viewers.
-I'm merely suggesting that we-- -[Kenneth] Sorry.
We go with this Saturday, Warren.
Unless, of course, you'd like to pull the plug on me.
Because if you do,
there are plenty of places I can go, as you well know.
Ah, pff.
What are we arguing for?
Especially in front of our guest.
J.B. Fletcher, say hello to my assistant, Clare Henley.
-Hello. -What a pleasure, Mrs. Fletcher.
Kenneth-- I mean Mr. Chambers, said you were coming. He is such a fan.
-Oh! -Oh, you idiot!
[Monroe] [stammering] I'm sorry, Sir. It was an accident!
Accident? Your whole life is an accident, Monroe.
Look, that's it!
Look, you have screwed up for the last time.
You're fired!
-Kenneth, he certainly didn't mean to-- -[Kenneth] I said, out.
Now.
Uh, perhaps we should go to the restaurant and meet Steve.
I think, uh, escape is definitely in order.
[Kenneth] Oh, well, um... [laughs]
Yes, I'm, I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other, Mrs. Fletcher.
Enjoy your stay in Denver.
[Jessica] Well, thank you, Mr. Chambers.
It's nice meeting you, Miss Henley.
[Steve] No coffee, thanks. It's off my diet.
Yes, I imagine Kenneth Chambers provides all the stimulant your nerves can handle.
So, anyway, for once in his life,
old Steve here is actually hanging tough with me until,
until I unleashed my secret serve.
The "Rob Warren unreturnable."
It's a miracle serve that defies gravity.
-[chuckles] I've heard that before. -In all modesty,
from there on I just cruised to victory.
As usual. And as usual, we get to hear all about it.
-Of course. -[Steve] And before you ask, Jessica,
no, I am not masochistic.
I'm into racquetball for the exercise.
It's good old Rob here who thrives on competition.
To the point of compulsion, I might add.
[laughs] Oh? Maybe your former psychiatrist
could give us some insight into that?
Mmm! Mm-mmm.
Please, I would love to, but there are very strict rules
about doctor-patient confidentiality.
And it's a good thing.
Jayne and I had years of pillow talk.
Of course, I was the only one with my head on the pillow.
She was taking notes.
Oh, the things this woman could tell about me.
It's terrifying.
[chuckles]
Well, I hate to break up a party, gang,
but work beckons. Orders from the great one.
Sweetheart, not again tonight.
I'm sorry, honey. Can't be helped.
And I'll probably be late, so don't wait up.
Night.
Thanks, Rob.
Well, I, for one, can commiserate with Steve.
I had to work at the station late every night this week,
and believe me, when there's no one else there,
it's a very lonely place.
Well, I doubt that he'll be lonely with Mr. Chambers around.
Which is exactly why, for the first time in weeks,
I am gonna go home and get myself a good night's sleep.
-Night, Jaynie. And you, madam, -[Jayne] Good night, Rob.
I shall expect to see in my office first thing in the morning
to collect your 30 pieces of silver for your book show appearance.
Here's a dollar.
Would you like that in dimes or quarters?
Jayne, what is it?
I don't know.
Oh, it's nothing really, I guess. It's just that according to Steve,
he's been working late at the station every night this week.
And Rob just let it slip
that he's been working all alone.
Maybe it's just me.
[dramatic music]
[knocking]
-[Mr. Tanaka] Mr. Chambers? -[door creaking open]
Yoo-hoo.
-[anticipatory music] -[Mr. Tanaka] Mr. Chambers?
You asleep or something?
-[chair creaks] -[dramatic anticipatory music]
[Jayne] I hope Steve didn't disturb you when he came home.
It was awfully late.
I didn't hear a thing. Slept straight through.
And he was gone early this morning, too.
Jayne, look maybe it's none of my business,
and feel free to tell me to shut up,
but Frank and I could always talk things out.
You know, clear the air. Whatever's going on.
Well, I'm a very good listener with a very short memory.
Thanks, Jess.
I guess it all started when I quit my practice.
You know, I could never understand that.
You seemed to be doing so well.
Indeed, I was a huge success.
[Jayne] Some of my patients still haven't forgiven me.
But, Jess, the bottom line, I wanted, still want, a baby.
One doesn't necessarily preclude the other.
Then let's just say that marriage is more of a full-time job than I thought.
I know that Steve is under a lot of pressure from the show,
but, Jess, I feel he's drifting away.
So, I thought if I could be there for him all the time...
What is that?
As most of your viewers know,
I was Kenneth Chambers' unofficial police expert.
Naturally, I feel a tremendous sense of loss.
The man had guts, integrity, a real sense of community.
Selfless, dedicated--
Do you have any leads in the killing, Lieutenant?
Leads?
Sure, but nothing I can discuss right now.
A man like Kenneth Chambers had powerful enemies.
Well, could you tell us how he was killed?
Yes. He was shot twice late last evening.
But let me tell you this, and this is a promise,
Lieutenant Lou Flannigan will have this great man's killer wrapped up
before you people can say "Film at 11."
Thanks very much.
We've been talking to Lieutenant Louis Flannigan
of the Denver Police.
This is Rick Coleman reporting live from station KBLR.
Back to you, Allison. Thanks a lot, Lieutenant.
-Sure. Anything you need. -Yeah, we'll be in touch.
[stammers] Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant?
-[Lieutenant] Yeah? -I was wondering,
could you tell us just about when this happened?
Uh, certainly. It was, uh, between 10:00 and 12:00 last evening.
The killer-- Uh, are you a reporter?
Oh, no. No, my name is Jessica Fletcher and, uh...
[Lieutenant] Fletcher?
I know that name. And the face. Are you sure you're not with the media?
No, no, I'm, I'm just visiting from out of town.
As my guest. I'm Jayne Honig.
My husband works here as a producer.
Oh, Steve. We've been looking for him.
You're what?
You know where he was last night, Ma'am?
Say, between the hours of 10:00 and 12:00?
[Steve] Jayne!
[Jayne] Oh, sweetheart. Thank God, you're safe.
I just got back from playing racquetball with Rob.
I just heard. I don't believe any of this.
Steve, we've got to talk.
Is there someplace we can be private?
Well, sure, Lieutenant. There's my office, but--
[chuckles] It's just routine. Don't sweat it.
Ladies, this is an official police interrogation.
No civilians.
Lieutenant--
Uh, Lieutenant, you know, I don't know you spotted me,
but you certainly had me pegged.
I am a writer.
Crime is my beat. Murder my specialty.
[chuckles] Something told me.
If you wouldn't mind me sitting in,
I mean, just to observe a real homicide detective at work.
I wouldn't say a word.
Believe me.
Okay.
But, if you write it up, I wanna clear the copy.
Oh, absolutely. [smirks]
The janitor says you and Chambers
were thrashing it out pretty good last night.
We argued, yes.
-About what? -Ethics, Lieutenant.
He'd edited a tape to make one of our experts look like an idiot.
He wouldn't do that.
Honesty was Kenneth Chambers' middle name.
Perhaps if you could establish the time of that argument, Lieutenant.
Sorry.
What time did you leave?
It was around 10:30, and I just went to cool off.
What'd you do, climb Pike's Peak?
I drove around for a couple of hours, and then I went home.
So, you got no witnesses?
What are you driving at?
You argue with Chambers.
Chambers is dead.
And what-- What motive could he possibly have?
That's what I intend to find out, Ma'am.
Downtown.
[officer] Excuse me, Sir.
Thought you oughta have a look at this.
[sighs]
This is insane. I didn't kill anybody.
Of course, you didn't.
Mr. Honig, do you have a permit to carry this weapon, Sir?
Me? This is not mine.
No?
Then how did it come to be in the backseat of your car?
One of my men spotted it through the window.
Also, two shots have been fired.
My guess is, this is the gun that killed Kenneth Chambers.
What's your guess?
[Jessica sighs]
Lieutenant, for heaven's sakes.
Anyone could have planted that gun.
Ma'am, you're just an observer here.
Yes, and what I've observed is a complete lack of common sense.
If he was the killer, why would he return to the scene of the crime
with the murder weapon
carelessly concealed in the back of his car
when he had all night to dispose of it?
There's a perfectly logical reason for that.
Yes?
[door opens]
[Rob] Steve! Steve, I just heard.
[Lieutenant] Excuse me, Sir, but I'm interrogating this witness.
-And who are you? -Robert Warren. I run this station.
-And you are? -[Lieutenant] Oh, Mr. Warren.
We haven't met. Lou Flannigan.
You've probably caught me on Chambers' show a few times.
Actually, I hardly ever watched it.
[Lieutenant] [stammers] I'm sorry to disrupt things, Mr. Warren,
but I've gotta take Mr. Honig down to the station
for, uh, some additional questioning.
Well, you won't mind if I send a lawyer along with him, then?
[Lieutenant] No, not at all.
[huffs]
[Jayne] Are you sure, Rob? I just feel like I should be there.
All right.
No, whatever you think is best.
I'll wait for your call.
They are going to hold him at least until the ballistics results are in.
And I'm afraid that news won't be good.
-Steve did not kill that man. -Of course, he didn't.
He also doesn't own a gun,
which means the gun that they found in the backseat
has got to be the murder weapon,
planted there by the real killer to railroad Steve into a conviction.
Jayne, what time did he come home last night?
[barely audible] I don't know.
One, 1:30.
Did he say anything?
Anything that could give us a hint as to what had happened?
No. We didn't speak.
I pretended to be asleep.
Oh, Jess, with what I was feeling,
I was terrified I'd say something I'd regret.
So, I just laid there... silent.
And let my suspicions gnaw at me.
[Clare crying]
[Lynnette] Turn off the faucets, Clare.
Kenneth Chambers only cared about himself.
He and Steve were a couple of self-centered chauvinists.
And with them out of the way, now is our big chance.
[crying] Kenneth is dead. How could you talk that way?
Think, Clare.
Think of all the humiliation
that bag of gas heaped on you. On all of us.
Honey.
I wouldn't steer you wrong.
What I'm saying is...
we can take the reins of Kenneth's legacy and make it stronger.
Different.
We'd make a great team. I dig up the facts.
You feed 'em to the public.
The public, honey.
Kenneth's public?
They're ready for a change.
You know what they want?
They want pretty.
They want happy.
They want young, attractive people.
Like me?
Not like you, Clare.
You!
Now, I've already talked to Robert, but we gotta move fast.
I am gonna create a whole new image for you.
New hair, complete makeover,
and a... a sexy wardrobe,
so your public can see the beautiful you.
Sweetheart.
I'm gonna make you a star.
[emotive music]
Well, Jayne should be worried, Jessica.
We all should.
But Ralph Kensington is the best attorney in this city.
All well and good, Rob, but I honestly believe
that the best way to get Steve off the hook
is to find the real killer, and fast.
[chuckles] Well, if you're looking for suspects,
I could name a few dozen.
You mean Joe Rinaldi, the Teddy bear King?
Oh, I'd put him right at the top of the list
is where I'd put him.
Oh, and you may also wanna check on Clare Henley.
She was much more than just his assistant.
Murray!
I want lots of lights. Red and White, flashing.
Excuse me. I'm looking for Clare Henley.
-Try backstage. Makeup. -Oh, thank you.
It's Miss Bryant, isn't it?
I don't believe we've met. I'm Jessica Fletcher.
Lynnette Bryant. And it's Ms.
Ms. Oh, yes.
[assistant] Ms. Bryant?
[Lynnette] The blue. And I want you to plunge the neckline.
Start at the navel and work up.
Yes, Ma'am.
Terrible tragedy about Kenneth Chambers, isn't it?
The only tragedy is it took Steve so long to cancel him.
Like I said, you can find Clare backstage.
I've marked the photos I want blown up.
-This afternoon at the latest. -Right away.
Miss, uh, Ms. Bryant, forgive me, but, uh,
it all looks very much as if The Bottom Line
isn't quite as dead as Kenneth Chambers.
Very observant.
Life goes on, especially in televisionland.
New star, new producer.
Oh, then you're taking Steve's place?
Hey, I did not step on Steve's bones to get this gig, believe me.
He hated this job anyway.
What he really wanted was the station manager slot.
Only the late and not-so-great Kenneth Chambers
made sure Rob Warren got it instead.
Which is why you think that Steve may have killed him.
Now you're catching on.
Kill it!
Sorry.
Look, I am really very busy, Ms. Fletcher.
Uh, it's Mrs. Fletcher.
Whatever.
[Jessica] Hi.
Well, what do you think?
Well, very, um...striking.
I hate it.
I'm beginning to wish I was back to being the weekend weather girl.
[Jessica smirks]
-Look, you wanna talk? -Sure.
How about someplace a little more private?
Mmm-hmm.
[Clare] I grew up about a mile from here.
See those swings?
[laughs] I used to play on them when I was a kid.
Swingin' always made me feel happy.
I'm sure working for Kenneth Chambers, you must have been down a lot.
Well, he wasn't perfect, but he was good and honest,
and he helped a lot of people, you know.
It was an honor to work for him
even though sometimes it was difficult.
Yes, I suppose he was hard on everyone, including Steve.
That's what I don't understand.
Steve killing him. I just don't believe he'd do it.
Good. Neither do I.
Now tell me about Joe Rinaldi.
That thug?
He threatened Kenneth, you know,
over that show he was gonna run on the toy company.
Rinaldi has about ten million dollars worth of toy bears
just waiting for the christmas rush.
Toy bears? How could you have a problem with toy bears?
Kenneth said that Rinaldi cut a lot of corners
with the safety regulations.
And he had proof?
He had a whole show, almost, on tape.
He said it would ruin Rinaldi when it got on the air.
Clare, I'd like to see that tape. May I?
But I locked them in here myself, Mrs. Fletcher.
The files, the tapes, all the Rinaldi evidence,
it's gone.
[Joe] What are you busting my chops for, lady?
The cops got the killer.
What's his name, Hanig, Hahnig, Honig?
I want to talk to you about some tapes, Mr. Rinaldi.
Some videotapes of your stuffed teddy bears
for a show that Kenneth Chambers was going to run on Saturday.
I understand that you threatened him.
Threaten? I don't threaten. I negotiate.
-Those tapes are missing. -What?
Stolen from the station storage room.
Lady, let me give you a clue.
If you find them, they're mine.
Bought and paid for with hard yankee greenbacks.
Bought from whom?
From Chambers. Who else? Twenty-five thousand cash,
which I handed over to him early last evening.
[Lieutenant] Somebody should've told me there was a safe in here.
Kenneth would never take a bribe. We are just wasting our time.
You're right, honey.
If there's one thing I know, it's people.
And Kenneth Chambers was too honest.
Oh, yeah?
Well, that's the dough I gave Chambers.
Five 5,000 dollar bundles still in their wrappers.
And the missing tapes.
I'd say there's another 50,000 or 60,000 dollars in there.
Perhaps Mr. Rinaldi wasn't the only one who was paying extortion.
The Hammett cheese tape. [sighs] No wonder he killed the story.
I don't believe it. Kenneth was a crook.
Believe it, sweetheart. He had a neat little racket going.
-Now I'll just take that-- -Oh, no way, Rinaldi.
Kenneth Chambers may have been dishonest,
but I'm running the show now.
I don't take bribes.
And come Saturday night at 7:30, The New Bottom Line is gonna crucify you.
Aren't we, Clare?
[Lieutenant] Finding the money and tapes doesn't get Steve Honig off the hot seat.
Oh, Lieutenant, if you would just open up your mind to the possibilities.
Mrs. Fletcher, you're a sweet lady.
Sweet, but, uh, dishonest.
I beg your pardon.
[chuckles] All that donkey dirt about you being a crime writer.
[clucks tongue]
Lieutenant, I did not lie to you...
exactly.
Yeah, you didn't tell the truth exactly, either, did you?
But, never mind.
The point is, Ma'am, as far as I'm concerned,
Steve Honig killed Chambers and planted those tapes
to smear his good name.
[Jessica] Anyone could've accomplished it.
I mean, maybe Joe Rinaldi came in to get his money back
and ended up shooting Chambers.
No, no, no, no.
Honig went to Chambers' office to smear Chambers.
Well, Chambers surprised him.
Yeah, that's it.
And then, uh, Honig had to shoot him.
You mind if I have a look at those?
No, no. Be my guest.
They're just photos of the murder scene.
You think you can catch something that the, uh, trained eye couldn't?
Kenneth Chambers was shot through the back of his chair.
He must've been facing away from the door.
Yeah? So?
Well, why was he sitting with his back to the door?
[laughs]
To the untrained eye, it must seem strange,
but if you'll notice, there's a TV and a VCR
behind the desk on that shelf there.
-Ah. -He was watching TV.
Uh, Lieutenant, with due respect for your trained eye,
that is impossible.
I was in Mr. Chambers' office, and his television was broken.
-Broken? -Broken.
Which makes me wonder what he was doing sitting in that odd position.
Well, obviously...
Yes?
Obviously, this is, uh, gonna take some thought.
Any news from the lawyer?
Oh, he's still trying to arrange for Steve's release.
But it doesn't look very good.
Rob, The Bottom Line...
Whose idea was it to revive the show without Kenneth Chambers?
Lynnette Bryant's.
Why? You think Lynnette may have personally canceled Kenneth
just to get her own shot?
I've heard of worse motives.
Oh, I suppose.
She's a very talented girl who wasn't given much to do under Steve's wing.
It's funny.
Under the new format, everybody's coming out a winner.
You know, Jessica, this isn't public knowledge,
but Kenneth was thinking about taking the show to the Network
and leaving everyone else behind.
-My goodness. Including Clare? -[Rob] Oh, especially Clare.
You see, everyone here knew about their romance,
and no matter how hard Kenneth tried to shake her loose, well...
[chuckles] ...somehow she always managed to hang on with a firm grip.
It's ironic though, isn't it? I mean, now that he's dead,
and Lynnette's running the show, Clare is gonna be a star.
Oh, well, excuse me. Duty calls.
Ironic.
[Clare] I'm sure you will all be able to sleep better at night
knowing that The New Bottom Line will continue its costumer crusades.
-[bell rings] -[Lynnette] Cut!
It's "consumer crusades," Clare. "Consumer."
I think I need new contacts.
[Lynnette] Listen, Clare, we can't spend all day on this.
Let's move on to the Rinaldi teddy bear demonstration.
Ryan!
-[assistant] Miss Henley to makeup. -[Ryan] It's okay.
[cameraman] Camera, this is not a break. Camera, this is not a break.
Second set, camera.
Well, I guess you're a little surprised to see me, huh, Mrs. Fletcher?
In this business, it's here today, gone tomorrow.
Chambers is gone, and I am here.
Well, frankly, Mr. Monroe,
everything about this business surprises me.
Clare Henley suddenly a star, Lynnette a producer...
And me an assistant director.
Well, you gotta understand something about television.
You see, the name of this game is hustle.
Any boob can do these jobs.
You just gotta make sure you're the any boob
that gets himself hired.
Tell me, how are you at fixing television sets?
-What? -[Lynnette] Okay, Clare, let's try it.
[bell rings]
Excuse me.
[Lynnette] Stand by, everyone.
Quiet on the set.
Action.
Even though this may look like a harmless toy,
it is actually a dangerous threat to your child.
Inside, there is a very sharp wire that could poke a child's eye out.
And because of shoddy craftsmanship by the Rinaldi Toy Company,
eight out of ten two-year-olds we tested easily pulled the arm off.
-[Lynnette] Cut! -[bell rings]
[laughter]
[staff] Oh, that was something.
Oh, Mr. Tanaka. You-- you startled me.
[chuckles] Very sorry, Mrs. Fletcher.
You know, it's an honor for me, you being big-time writer and all.
I've been admiring your trash for a long time.
[laughing]
No, no, no. Excuse me. I misspoke.
Not your books, your trash.
I got this collection of celebrity trash.
Maybe you wanna see it.
You come to my office. I show it to you.
-Well, yes. Yes, I'd like to talk to you. -Oh, good, good.
-My office this way. -Thank you.
I got a whole bunch of stuff in here.
Here, please.
-You sit down. -Oh, yes, thank you.
I got something from every celebrity who ever visit this station.
[Jessica] Oh, yes, it's fascinating, but--
A bronze apple core belong to David Eisenhower.
Look like he got a chip on his tooth or something like that.
-[Jessica] Oh, yes. Mr. Tanaka-- -See this? See this?
Salami wrapper of Frank Sinatra's.
[Jessica sighs]
[Mr. Tanaka] And this banana peel belonged to Jerry Lewis.
Very funny man.
And just last month, this milk carton of Pat Boone's.
[chuckles] Mr. Tanaka--
Oh, call me Bert.
Bert, this is all very interesting--
I know, I know.
I bet you want to hear about the night Mr. Chambers got killed.
Well.
Tuna fish. You want half?
Oh, no, thank you.
The other night,
I come to the executive hallway
at my regular time, 10:30, to do my rounds.
I was very happy to find Mr. Honig and Mr. Chambers arguing.
Happy?
[Mr. Tanaka] Not because they were arguing, you know,
but because for the past few nights,
Mr. Honig had been working late
and didn't want to be disturbed by having his office cleaned.
So, Steve was working late. Now, that is good news.
But, the night of the killing,
was there something strange or something like that?
Nothing.
I just go about my regular job like I been doing for the last 38 years.
I got a system.
You have to do, to last in this business, you know.
I dust, I dump the ashtray, I vacuum, and then I look through the trash.
If there's nothing famous, then I dump it.
[Mr. Tanaka cries out]
Oh, my gosh.
I just had this cleaned.
I hope it don't stain or anything.
Now I got to get changed.
Bert, could you let me into Mr. Honig's office?
-Now? -[Mr. Tanaka] Sure.
What are you looking for, Mrs. Fletcher, huh?
Of course.
Bert, I can't thank you enough.
Oh, sure. That's okay. Anytime.
-Lieutenant. -No, Mrs. Fletcher.
Whatever it is, no.
But, I am certain
that Steve Honig couldn't possibly have killed Mr. Chambers.
Oh, really?
How did you arrive at that brilliant conclusion?
Because whoever killed Kenneth Chambers was actually trying to kill Steve Honig.
Steve Honig? [laughs]
Who'd want to kill Steve Honig?
He's nobody.
There. How do I look?
Lieutenant, could you stop grooming yourself
long enough to listen to me?
[Lieutenant] Mrs. Fletcher, I have a newscast in a few minutes.
I have to look my best.
Well, pardon me,
but you're going to look like a complete fool
if you go out in front of those cameras
and, and take credit for the arrest of Steve Honig.
Not to mention the lawsuit that you may be facing.
Well, there's your chair.
Just as I thought.
The bullet holes, but no coffee stain.
That proves it.
Proves what?
[Clare] Even though this may look like a harmless toy,
it is actually a dangerous threat to your child
because inside, there is a very sharp wire
that could poke a child's eye out.
And because of shoddy craftsmanship by the Rinaldi toy company,
eight out of ten two-year-olds we tested easily pulled the arm off.
It's fabulous.
We got a real hit here.
And there we have the wire.
Clare, you were great.
Bert, did you get Steve Honig's office cleared out yet?
I wanna move in tomorrow.
Oh, yes. Soon.
From the looks of that tape,
you gonna be in that office a long time.
Tape looks a-okay to Bert.
You bet.
Oh, Mr. Warren, I'm glad you here too,
because if Miss Bryant want a new chair,
you got to sign the form to order it. I got it here someplace.
Why do we need a new chair in Steve's office?
[Mr. Tanaka] Oh, bad coffee stain on Mr. Honig's chair.
Bad, bad, bad.
Can't do anything to get rid of it, you know?
Oh, here it is.
I figure, why get one chair when we need two?
One for Mr. Chambers' office, the other for Mr. Honig's office.
I like to be efficient, you know.
[Rob] Mmm-hmm.
[Mr. Tanaka] Thank you, Mr. Warren.
All right.
I leave you all alone now.
No more interruption from Bert.
No, Sir.
[thunder rumbling]
[Jessica] I imagine you're very surprised, Rob.
But I suppose not half as surprised as the night you shot Kenneth Chambers.
[chuckles] What are you talkin' about?
I wasn't even here the night Kenneth was shot.
I was home in bed asleep.
No, you weren't.
You were here in this office after 10:30,
after Bert Tanaka saw Steve and Mr. Chambers arguing,
and after Steve left.
Oh, you've got the wrong idea, Jessica.
No.
You left your calling card.
Your cigar ash.
The morning the body was discovered,
Lieutenant Flannigan dumped a large cigar ash from the ashtray,
a cigar ash that could only have been left by the killer.
And only you, Rob, smoked a cigar.
It was from a previous day.
It couldn't have been.
Bert Tanaka cleaned the office and the ashtray at 10:30.
His usual routine.
You came back after that.
But you didn't know that Steve had left
or that Mr. Chambers would be sitting in Steve's chair
watching a videotape
because his own television was broken.
You thought it was Steve you shot through the back of the chair.
Then when you discovered you'd killed the wrong man,
you decided that framing Steve for the murder
would serve your purpose just as well.
So you switched chairs from office to office.
What you had overlooked was the coffee stain.
Ryan Monroe had spilled coffee on Kenneth Chambers' chair
earlier in the day.
That made it obvious the chairs had been switched.
Later, you planted the gun in Steve's car to make him look like the guilty party.
Steve is my friend. I would never do anything to hurt him.
Is that why you deliberately lied to Jayne,
saying Steve had not been working late,
when in truth he had been working late?
Bert Tanaka will confirm that.
Well, this makes no sense at all, Jessica.
[Jessica] In hindsight, it all makes sense.
Your comment about having to pay to be alone
with the woman you love.
All those times you asked Jayne to run away with you.
You were serious, weren't you, Robert?
Why couldn't you just leave things the way they were?
-Oh, Jessica, Jessica. -[ominous music]
You really should not have interfered.
Is that your solution? To kill me?
Well, it shouldn't be too hard
to find another author for our book review show.
You need help, Robert.
Help from Jayne.
[Jayne] Robert?
I didn't understand.
But I do now.
Violence didn't work before.
It won't work this time.
[stammering] You shouldn't be here.
[Jayne] Why?
Would you kill me, too?
When I realized that Rob had killed Mr. Chambers,
I convinced Lieutenant Flannigan to let me use the coffee-stained chair
as bait to set a trap and gain a confession.
Actually, I had no proof whatsoever. [chuckles]
You know, it's Bert Tanaka who deserves the real credit
for setting the trap so nicely.
Well, I can't thank you enough, Jess... [grunts]
...for getting me off the hook and such a brilliant interview
and just, well, everything.
Nonsense. Jayne deserves just as much credit.
-She never gave up. -[reporters calling out]
[clears throat] Speaking of taking credit.
Now, you take those two switched chairs...
It takes a highly trained eye to spot something like that.
And in all modesty, I've got to tell you that it was...
that it was I, Lou Flannigan, police expert, who sensed the incongruity
of those eminently important pieces of evidence.
I said to myself, "Mere furniture? I think not."
[funky orchestral music]