Stay, frog.
(Grunting)
Egan: Lookin' for me, Jesse?
Yeah.
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
I was looking for my brother, frank, and MacGyver.
Yeah?
Well, they'll be joining you soon.
Real soon.
(Grunting)
(Frog whimpering)
Hey, quit slobbering all over me.
(Grunts)
(Barking)
Come here. Let's go.
(Honking)
(Men grunting)
(Shouting)
You try something and the next one's through your head.
Colton!
But I shot you.
Yeah, egan.
Right in a bulletproof vest.
(Groans)
Out of the car. Let's go! Let's go!
Come on!
Put your pieces in the back of this pickup one at a time.
You first, egan.
(Frog sniffing)
- Frank. - Yeah?
- See that bottle next to the bomb? - Yeah.
That's sulfuric acid.
It'll eat right through these ropes if we can get to it.
Well, we can't, so it ain't.
I think we are done for.
All right, all right, let's not be giving up just yet, okay?
Who said anything about givin'...
(Gasps)
- (Sneezing) - Bless.
Hold it, hold it. Wait a minute.
There's only one thing in the whole world that I'm allergic to.
(Frog barking)
Both: Frog!
Hey, get in here, you ugly thing.
Good boy.
We need that bottle of stuff.
- Come on, that's it. - Come on.
Move on down a little further.
Come on, boy.
Frank: Sweet thing, come in.
Come on. Go ahead.
Push the bottle.
Come on.
Come on now, nose it off.
Not the bomb, the bottle!
Oh, you stupid hound. Stop!
Good boy. Good boy.
Now, we need the bottle.
Not the bomb, the bottle.
No, you dummy. The bottle!
You keep calling him names like that, he's gonna take a walk.
He knows I love him.
Don't you, sugar puss?
(Growling)
Frank: Come on, push the bottle, froggie.
Come on down, sweetheart.
He's not gonna cooperate, MacGyver.
Well, look what we got here.
The queer money, and the plates that made it.
Now where's my brother frank and MacGyver?
Come on, frog. Push the bottle.
Frank: Push it, push it. Come on.
Push it, push it. Come on.
He did it. He got the right one.
All right, get him to bring it over here. Quick.
Okay, okay, come on. Come on, now.
Jump down. Come on down. That's it.
That's it.
Bring uncle frank the bottle, froggie.
Come on, boy, come on.
That's it. Come on.
Now come on, froggie.
All right. Here's how it's gonna go down, boys.
You don't tell me what I need to know,
I start at your kneecaps
And work my way up.
See what you look like with nine bellybuttons.
You got one minute.
(Beeping)
Come on, froggie.
Bring MacGyver the bottle so we all don't die.
Would you look at that?
Good boy, frog.
Now, put the bottle on the end of the ruler.
He's doing it. He's doing it.
He didn't do it.
Hey, froggie, if you don't put that bottle on top of that ruler,
I'm gonna tell mama, no more chicken livers.
You're back to dog food.
That dog will enjoy a lifetime of chicken livers.
Just how long will that lifetime be?
Good question.
So, that's a beautiful thing.
What'll that stuff do to your skin?
Nothing, if I can keep it on the rope.
(Grunts)
(Sighs)
(Grunts) Go!
Let's get out of here, froggie.
MacGyver: Come on!
Five, four,
- (Door opening) - Three...
Jesse, hit the deck!
(Both grunting)
- (Shouting) - Whoa!
Oh, good.
I was just looking for you guys.
Mama: MacGyver called.
He's not gonna be able to make it over.
He said them news people driving him half crazy,
so he gonna hide out for a week up in the mountains.
College.
I don't even know what classes to sign up for.
First two years, they tell you.
Now how would you know?
You ain't even seen the inside of a high school,
let alone college.
I know because I'm three years, eight months, six days older than you are.
(Doorbell ringing)
Therefore, wiser than you are,
- you know, - I'll get it.
There comes a time when chronological age and wisdom catch up.
In our case,
That happened when you was about four years old.
(Laughing)
Mama Colton, how are you?
Johnny Denmark!
I haven't seen you since when?
Uh, two years ago next month.
That's right. It was at that block party
Right after your swearing-in ceremony.
Well, it's about time you got back to your old neighborhood.
And it feels good to be home, mama.
Don't just stand there, come on in.
(Frog growling)
Johnny: There's a familiar face.
Frog, right?
(Growling)
(Barks)
(Exclaims)
I remember you, too, from the block party. Mean and ugly.
Oh, don't mind him. He sometime cranky in the morning.
Fellas, look who's here,
the assistant district attorney himself.
How you doing, Johnny?
Good, frank.
Nice to see you, Jesse.
Still throwing that mean fastball?
No, no, not since high school.
How about some sweet cake and coffee, Johnny?
Thought you'd never ask.
Ah, the restaurant's been closed, what, um,
10 years now?
Close enough. But not nearly long enough.
The restaurant's potential reopening motivates certain of us
to keep the bounty-hunting business healthy and thriving,
if you know what I mean.
(Johnny laughing)
Johnny: Yes, I get your point, mama.
So, what brings you here, Mr. Denmark?
I need your brothers' help.
What?
Since when did you start reaching down so low
That you need the help of a couple of bounty hunters?
You're the best in the business, Jesse.
Jesse: Yeah, right.
I was reminded of that
When I read how you busted that counterfeiting ring last night.
There were three killings in Chinatown last night,
all behind a power struggle run by this man.
His name is chi.
He pulled the trigger and crowned himself the new godfather of Chinatown.
Now, if I can nail him for those murders,
then Chinatown's underworld will be crippled.
But?
But...
I have to find this girl to do it.
They call her madussa.
Supposedly, she's the dead godfather's new number-one lady
And an eyewitness to the killings.
I just can't get an ID on her.
You got a whole police force to do that.
Word on the street is that chi has bribed the police on the Chinatown beat.
If they get to this lady first,
she'll never make it to the witness stand alive.
That's why I need you guys.
Frank: Hmm, bad night here last night, huh?
Tell me about it.
Well, I sure know one thing.
I wouldn't be sleeping too sound,
Having seen a massacre like that one.
Who said I saw anything?
Hey, come on, come on.
They call her madussa.
Give us a righteous name and we're out of here.
Never saw her before.
Look, darling, she is in danger.
You help us, and we can help her.
Please?
I... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Now, I know you can put more than a street name to this pretty face.
Danko: What makes you think so?
What makes you ask?
Jesse.
This does, bro.
These guys impersonating police officers?
Us? Police?
Shoot, we ain't never done nothing to make anybody think...
Hey!
I heard nobody ask you a question.
You know what? You're right. You're absolutely right.
Okay, come on, you know the drill.
(Laughing) Well, now, lookee here.
He's in the door-shaking business.
Now, one time,
Before we put you out of the business.
Why are you asking about this witness?
Before I answer that question,
why don't you try to put me out of the business?
Look, you!
- (Groans) - Hey!
Don't you ever touch a cop!
Hey, that's my brother!
Uh, but he did ask for it, didn't he?
You know, we have tried time and time again
to talk to him about that temper of his.
Hey, I'm gone. I'm gone.
Uh, sorry to have been such a bother, ma'am.
Frank: Jesse, all I got to say is
you've got a lousy bedside manner with everybody.
You think you could've done any better?
No question about it.
Hey, you!
Not you. The nice one.
"Patricia fielding."
We've got ourselves a lead, brother.
The gentle way.
Wired sheree a bouquet of flowers in Hawaii.
You know, soften up the San Francisco disappointment.
You think Santa Barbara would be a nice compromise?
I think you're getting a little soft in the head, that's what I think.
Sheree finds out you can't afford San Francisco,
She's gonna send you packin'.
Wear this. It'll mellow you out.
- Get away from me with that. - Here, here, here.
- (Ringing) - Hey, back up, sucker.
- Come on, man. Come on. - Cut it... get away from me, would you?
What?
Is that any way to answer the phone, Jesse Colton?
Sorry, mama, I didn't know it was you.
Mama: I don't care who it is.
You gather more with honey than you do with vinegar.
Didn't I teach you that?
Yes, mama.
Listen, did you, uh, happen to do
any networking on Patricia fielding?
Well, that's the reason I'm calling.
Between henrietta at the dmv
and Jolene at the courthouse,
I found out that she's the daughter
of the former Loretta woo and g. Irwin fielding
Of fielding savings and loan.
G. Irwin?
The guy that's up for ripping off all those depositors?
That's him.
Jolene got into the probation officer's report,
and Loretta woo is that pretty little fashion model from Taiwan
that was so popular in the '60s.
She married g. Irwin when he was a young hotshot on wall street.
Skip the gossip, mama.
Did Jolene give you an address?
She sure did.
It's out in the highlands.
Gotta be a pretty fancy place, too.
Mary Alice Johnson used to sew for a lady up there.
Her name was Chandler.
She was related to..
Mama. The address?
Don't be so impatient, Jesse.
What I'm trying to tell you is I called their housekeeper
and she told me that the Fieldings are having lunch
with Patricia at the bayside yacht club today.
I expect before the day is over,
you boys will have this case tied up with a ribbon.
Frank: Well, with your kind help, we sure will.
Tell Johnny Denmark what we have, if you would.
Thank you, mama.
It's my pleasure.
Goodbye, now.
We've gotta talk, mama.
Baby, we have already had this conversation.
Yeah, but you've done just fine, mama.
And you're self-educated.
I mean, you've read more books
and you know more about stuff than anyone I've ever met.
Uh-huh. And you're going to know even more
when you get out of college.
Now it's time for you to get on the road to registration,
And it's time for me to get back to my garden.
(Whimpers)
I guess I'm just gonna have to prove I'm ready.
(Barks)
Attendant: Afternoon, miss fielding. Allow me.
Mother.
Frank: Well, mama was right on the money.
Jesse: Another five minutes,
and we'll have Patricia fielding,
and this case will be wrapped up tight.
(Phone ringing)
(In cantonese)
(Growling)
Now, the question is, who are they and what are they...
Uh-oh. Frank and Jesse must be here already.
Come on. Come on.
(Frog barking)
Well, I got no choice now, do I?
He talked to me and he listened.
He talked to you?
A gangster talked to you?
You have become little more than a whore.
Then I guess we're not so different after all,
are we, daddy?
Can't you understand what is happening here?
I witnessed a gangland killing.
Those men in Chinatown wanna kill me.
I have no money.
And I...
I need your help to get away.
Fielding: You'll get no help from me, young lady.
We'd like to help, Patricia.
Who are you?
(Gun cocking)
(Growling)
(People screaming)
Man: Get down! Get down!
Frank: Frog!
Frank!
(Frog snarling)
(Grunting)
(Groaning)
Gotcha, sucker.
Oh, Jesse, there's two of them!
Jesse: There's another one! Get down!
(Women screaming)
Jesse!
What the hell are you doing here?
Uh, well, I was on my way to school, right?
(Machine gun firing)
I can't see him.
No need to.
Now there's one lesson I won't learn in college.
You got that right.
Hey, no, you ain't getting me into that, okay?
Come on.
(Seagulls cawing)
(People chattering)
Just couldn't wait for me, could you, Jesse?
You missed it, frank.
Jesse and I got busy.
(Boat motor revving)
Loretta: Patricia, no!
(Ringing)
Colton brothers.
Yes, hello?
Uh, this is Loretta fielding.
I'd like to speak to one of the Colton brothers, please.
Yes, this is frank Colton.
You said you can help my daughter.
Keep her safe?
Frank: Yeah, where can we find her?
I'm at 10th and gramercy.
We'll be there in 10 minutes.
Thanks you for coming.
You were right. You are the only ones who can help.
Where is she?
There.
It's the only place I know with people I can count on.
Let's go.
Don't look now, but I think we got company.
Check out the reflection in the window.
It's okay. These are the men I told you about.
My mom says I should trust you.
We're gonna need all you got.
We were followed.
- Hey. - Hmm?
Score.
- Home free. - I hope.
What do you mean by that?
- My left eye is twitching. - Oh, great.
What are you guys talking about?
Nothing.
Besides, that twitch is only worth 10%.
Billy?
Listen to me, and don't say a word.
(Frank chattering on phone)
Yeah, sure. He's right here.
It's frank.
Johnny: Do you have the girl?
Got her. Where to?
The old boatyard at industrial and Fairview.
My assistant, Charles, will meet you there.
Right.
They have her.
(Dialing phone)
Oh, I have to tell you,
your boys are the best.
(Laughs)
(Phone ringing)
Hello?
Johnny: We have our witness, Charles.
I want you to set up the transport boat and the safe house.
I'll meet you at the boatyard as soon as I can get there.
(Men chattering)
(In cantonese)
Thank you for your hospitality, Billy.
- Mama Colton. - It's our pleasure.
If you have any more cases for the Colton brothers,
- just give us a call, you hear? - Johnny: Thank you.
Frank said he wanted you to check out the number
- Mr. Denmark dialed with your friend at the phone company. - What for?
- I think his eye's twitching again. - Ooh. Give me that.
I don't like this place. It feels eerie.
- What's that guy's name? Charles? - Uh-huh.
- Is your eye still twitching? - Uh-huh.
(Seagulls cawing)
I think I got a possible answer to the logic of it.
What's that?
Those two cops.
- Yeah? - They're not very good at what at they do.
True.
Now, if I was the godfather of Chinatown,
they'd be the last ones I'd juice.
That would be a waste of money.
Now, if they didn't put the squeeze
on that barmaid at the ho ho club,
and put them two Hong Kong gangsters on our tail, somebody else did.
Now my twitchin' makes some sense.
See, I'm glad you took the precaution
To have Billy check on Johnny Denmark.
Jesse?
I was a hair too late.
That phone number that Johnny Denmark called
belongs to a social club in Chinatown.
Frank felt it.
- I'll call the police. - No, no, mama.
If we can't trust the assistant da,
there's no telling who'd show up.
Billy, if you get hurt, I'm gonna whack you across your head!
(Police siren wailing)
And what is it I can do for you two?
We got some questions to ask frank and Jesse Colton.
Are you the two that pushed my Jesse down a flight of stairs?
Uh, he tripped.
Uh-huh.
Well, I got some questions I wanna ask myself.
And maybe we should have a meaningful conversation.
(Clearing throat)
(Men chattering in cantonese)
Wonder what they're up to.
No good.
(In cantonese)
(Gun cocking)
(People chattering)
(Men speaking in cantonese)
(Cantonese chattering continues)
You wear your vest this morning?
Like mama said, never leave home without it.
(Chatters in cantonese)
Any ideas?
No. You?
Pismo beach.
What?
Sheree might go for pismo beach over Santa Barbara.
It's a lot cheaper.
(Sighs)
(Man chattering)
(People chattering)
Billy: Frog.
Draw that dude off while I make it up those stairs.
Go on now, get!
(Stifling a sneeze)
Hey, hold it in. They'll hear you.
Both: Frog!
Now I got an idea.
Psst!
- (Whining) - Hey.
Speak, frog.
Speak.
(Barking)
(Frog continues barking)
(Gun cocking)
(Shouting in cantonese)
(Speaking cantonese)
(Shouting in cantonese)
(Frog barks)
Well, come on! Hit him!
What took you so long?
Why didn't you go ahead and hit him?
You would've saved me a lot of pain.
Way to go, froggie.
Hey, where's Billy?
That means he doesn't know.
Come on, let's go.
(People chattering)
(Inaudible)
Frank: Looks like he went the wrong way.
(Speaking in cantonese)
Hey, come on. Let's go.
Kick it, froggie, we'll be right back.
(People chattering)
(Speaking cantonese)
Hey, how're you doing?
What's that you say? I work here.
- Uh, workee? - Yeah, you know, put 'em up white powder?
Uh, workee, workee?
Ah, workee, workee.
That's it. You got it.
Ah.
Uh...
You know, this isn't very good employer-employee relations.
(Speaking cantonese)
Okay.
All right, all right. Chill, chill.
(Whispering) Any ideas?
Why do I always have to come up with the ideas?
Okay, I've got one. Follow me.
You!
He's the brother of those other two outside.
This how you keep the streets safe?
If he knows about me, then his mother knows.
Then we will take care of the mother,
and no one will know.
Don't you touch my mama!
(Groans)
You animals!
(In cantonese)
(People chattering)
(Inaudible)
(Speaking cantonese)
$200,000 as promised, Mr. District attorney.
(Speaking cantonese)
What's this for?
To put a permanent seal on our partnership.
Kill the boy.
This isn't part of the arrangement.
Kill the boy, Mr. Denmark,
or we have no arrangement.
(Police siren wailing)
(All clamoring)
Officer 1: Let's go! Move in!
Officer 2: Go! Go!
Shoot them.
Both of them. Now!
(Grunting)
I rather enjoyed that.
(Laughing)
Yes! Yes!
Your boys sure got a strange way of operating, Mrs. Colton.
But they do get the job done, don't they? Come on.
(Growling)
(Police radio chattering)
Frank, Jesse, you all right?
Mama, what you doing here?
These two nice policemen gave me a ride.
One of his buddies is in the boat building.
Well, go ahead. Pick up this trash my boys just threw out for you.
Yes, ma'am.
Where is Billy?
Billy: I... I'm right here, mama. And I'm good.
I'm real good.
I'm afraid the boy's got a little taste for the business.
He is going to college.
Oh, we know that, don't we, Jesse?
Hey, it's real clear to me.
Mama, couldn't he just dabble in the business a little bit?
Part-time, maybe?
Well, maybe, if his schedule permits.
You boys could just ease him into the skills
And wherewithal of bounty hunting.
Mama,
You're starting to bend?
Well, a mother has to let go sometime.
"Let go"?
A little.
(Laughing)
Hey, frog!
Frog, presents!
Get it, boy!
- MacGyver, hi. - Hi, mama.
Hey, hey, hey! Watch it, mama.
Hey, what's doing here?
You guys back in the restaurant business?
Hey, you wash your mouth out with soap.
(Jesse grunting)
Well,
There it is, mama.
Little, uh, compromise I made with frank.
Mama: Changing the image, you know.
What, cleaning up the da's office and Chinatown
in the same day wasn't enough to do it?
Well, taking down Denmark took down our paycheck.
And Billy's tuition just wiped out our reserves,
so frank thought we ought to change the sign.
All right.
Yeah.
Looks good, doesn't it?
The prodigal son returns!
Sheree didn't go for pismo beach.