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00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:12,339
Saturday, March 24, 1984.
2
00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:17,511
Shermer High School,
Shermer, Illinois, 60062.
3
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Dear Mr. Vernon.
4
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,215
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice
a whole Saturday in detention
5
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,733
for whatever it was we did wrong.
6
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,890
What we did was wrong but we think
you're crazy to make us write an essay
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telling you who we think we are.
8
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,035
What do you care?
9
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:44,830
You see us as you want to see us,
10
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:49,209
in the simplest terms,
with the most convenient definitions.
11
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You see us as a brain,
12
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an athlete, a basket case,
13
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a princess,
14
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and a criminal.
15
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Correct?
16
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That's the way we saw each other
at 7:00 this morning.
17
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We were brainwashed.
18
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I can't believe
you can't get me out of this.
19
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It's so absurd I have to be here
on a Saturday.
20
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It's not like I'm a defective
or anything.
21
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I'll make it up to you.
22
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Honey, ditching class to go shopping
doesn't make you a defective.
23
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Have a good day.
24
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,853
Is this the first time
or last time we do this?
25
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,422
Last.
26
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:54,384
Well, get in there and use the time
to your advantage.
27
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,303
Mom, we're not supposed to study.
We have to sit there and do nothing.
28
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Well, mister, you figure out
a way to study.
29
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Yeah.
30
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,992
Well, go.
31
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,735
Hey, I screwed around.
32
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:15,655
Guys screw around.
There's nothing wrong with that,
33
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except you got caught, sport.
34
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,368
Yeah, Mom already reamed me, all right?
35
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,845
You want to miss a match?
You want to blow your ride?
36
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:28,642
Now, no school is gonna give
a scholarship to a discipline case.
37
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,566
Well, well. Here we are.
38
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I wanna congratulate you
for being on time.
39
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,975
Excuse me, sir?
I think there's been a mistake.
40
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:11,453
I know it's detention,
but I don't think I belong in here.
41
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,125
It is now 7:06.
42
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:22,547
You have exactly eight hours and 54 minutes
to think about why you're here.
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00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,300
Ponder the error of your ways.
44
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You may not talk.
45
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You will not move from these seats.
46
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And you will not sleep.
47
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:49,475
All right, people, we're going to try
something a little different today.
48
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:55,372
We are going to write an essay
of no less than 1000 words
49
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,943
describing to me who you think you are.
50
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,111
Is this a test?
51
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:03,964
And when I say essay, I mean essay.
52
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I do not mean a single word
repeated 1000 times.
53
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Is that clear, Mr. Bender?
54
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Crystal.
55
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,019
Good. Maybe you'll learn
something about yourself.
56
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,107
Maybe you'll even decide
whether or not you care to return.
57
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:27,722
I can answer that right now, sir.
That'd be "no" for me, 'cause...
58
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,156
Sit down, Johnson.
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00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,574
Thank you, sir.
60
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:37,205
My office is right across that hall.
Any monkey business is ill-advised.
61
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Any questions?
62
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,211
Yeah. I got a question.
63
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Does Barry Manilow know
that you raid his wardrobe?
64
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I'll give you the answer to that question,
Mr. Bender, next Saturday.
65
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:56,099
Don't mess with the bull, young man,
you'll get the horns.
66
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That man is a brownie hound.
67
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,765
You keep eating your hand,
you're not going to be hungry for lunch.
68
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,769
I've seen you before, you know.
69
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,948
Who I think I am.
70
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:57,452
Who are you?
71
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,498
I am a walrus.
72
00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:36,199
It's the shits, huh?
73
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,175
I can't believe this is really
happening to me.
74
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,109
Oh, shit!
75
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What are we supposed to do
if we have to piss?
76
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Please.
77
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If you got to go, you got to go.
78
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Oh, my God.
79
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,313
You're not urinating in here, man.
80
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Don't talk. Don't talk.
It makes it crawl back up.
81
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:28,043
You whip it out, you're dead
before the first drop hits the floor.
82
00:10:29,211 --> 00:10:31,129
You're pretty sexy when you get angry.
83
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,995
Hey, homeboy,
why don't you go close that door?
84
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,764
We'll get the prom queen impregnated.
85
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Hey. Hey!
86
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What?
87
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If I lose my temper,
you're totaled, man.
88
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Totally?
89
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:51,342
Totally.
90
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,653
Why don't you shut up?
Nobody here's interested.
91
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,448
Really. Buttface.
92
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:03,479
Hey, sporto, what'd you do to get in here?
Forget to wash your jock?
93
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,815
Excuse me, fellows, I think
we should just write our papers.
94
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,568
Just because you live in here doesn't
give you the right to be a pain in the ass.
95
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,126
So knock it off!
96
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:13,155
It's a free country.
97
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:17,050
He's just doing it to get a rise
out of you. Just ignore him.
98
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,135
Sweets.
99
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,515
You couldn't ignore me if you tried.
100
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,560
So...
101
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,397
So,
102
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are you guys like boyfriend-girlfriend?
103
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,487
Steady dates?
104
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,699
Lovers?
105
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,146
Come on, sporto. Level with me.
106
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,898
Do you slip her the hot-beef injection?
107
00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:49,442
- Go to hell!
- Enough!
108
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,043
Hey! What's going on in there?
109
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Spoiled little pricks.
110
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Scumbag.
111
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What do you say we close that door?
112
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Can't have any kind of party with Vernon
checking us out every few seconds.
113
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You know the door's
supposed to stay open.
114
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- So what?
- So why don't you just shut up?
115
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,802
There's four other people
in here, you know?
116
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God, you can count. See, I knew
you had to be smart to be a wrestler.
117
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Who the hell are you to judge
anybody anyway?
118
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Really.
119
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,936
You know, Bender, you don't even count.
120
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If you disappear forever,
it wouldn't make any difference.
121
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You may as well not even exist
at this school.
122
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:37,756
Well, I'll run right out
and join the wrestling team.
123
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Maybe the prep club, too.
Student council.
124
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:43,913
No. They wouldn't take you.
125
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I'm hurt.
126
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You know why guys like you
knock everything?
127
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This should be stunning.
128
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Because you're afraid.
129
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Oh, God. You richies are so smart.
130
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That's exactly why
I'm not heavy in activities.
131
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You're a big coward.
132
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I'm in a Math Club.
133
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You're afraid that they won't take you,
you don't belong, so you dump all over it.
134
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,849
Well, it wouldn't have anything to do
135
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with you activities people
being assholes, would it?
136
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,064
Well, you wouldn't know.
You don't even know any of us.
137
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,982
Well, I don't know any lepers either,
138
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:14,235
but I'm not going to run and join
one of their fucking clubs.
139
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,945
Hey, let's watch the mouth, huh?
140
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,738
I'm in Physics Club, too.
141
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,783
Excuse me a sec.
What are you babbling about?
142
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:24,370
What I said was
that I'm in the Math Club,
143
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,722
the Latin Club and the Physics Club.
Physics Club.
144
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:31,893
Hey. Cherry.
145
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,132
Do you belong to the Physics Club?
146
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,107
That's an academic club.
147
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,151
So?
148
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,073
Academic clubs aren't the same
as other kinds of clubs.
149
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,992
But to dorks like him, they are.
150
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:51,564
What do you guys do in your club?
151
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:56,569
In physics, well, we talk about physics.
Properties of physics.
152
00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:01,548
So it's sort of social.
Demented and sad, but social, right?
153
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:05,369
I guess you could consider it
a social situation.
154
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:08,429
I mean, there are other children
in my club.
155
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:14,253
And at the end of the year, we have...
We have a big banquet at the Hilton.
156
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,437
You load up. You party.
157
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:21,150
No. We get dressed up,
but we don't get high.
158
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,845
Only burners like you get high.
159
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,181
And I didn't have any shoes,
so I had to borrow my dad's.
160
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,184
It's weird 'cause my mom doesn't
like me to wear other people's shoes.
161
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,937
My cousin Kent... My cousin Kendall
from Indiana, he got high once.
162
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,607
And, you know, he started eating,
like, really weird foods.
163
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:39,195
Then he felt like he didn't belong anywhere,
kind of like Twilight Zone, kind of.
164
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,362
Sounds like you.
165
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:43,115
You guys keep up your talking
and Vernon's gonna come in.
166
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,200
I got a meet this Saturday,
167
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,285
and I'm not gonna miss it
on account of you boneheads.
168
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:51,081
Oh, and wouldn't that be a bite?
Missing a whole wrestling meet?
169
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:53,334
You wouldn't know anything
about it, faggot.
170
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,877
You never competed in your whole life.
171
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,671
Oh, I know. I feel all empty inside
because of it.
172
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:02,635
I have such a deep admiration for guys who
roll around on the floor with other guys.
173
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,387
You'd never miss it.
You don't have any goals.
174
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,823
Oh, but I do.
I want to be just like you.
175
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:12,827
I figure all I need's
a lobotomy and some tights.
176
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,498
You wear tights?
177
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,794
No, I don't wear tights.
I wear the required uniform.
178
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,172
- Tights.
- Shut up.
179
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,846
There's not supposed to be
any monkey business.
180
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,614
Young man, have you finished your paper?
181
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,146
Come on Bender. Don't screw around.
182
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:57,231
What are you going to do?
183
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,456
Drop dead, I hope.
184
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,176
All right!
185
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:14,081
Bender, that's school property there,
and it doesn't belong to us.
186
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,292
It's something not to be toyed with.
187
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,918
That's very funny. Come on, Fix it.
188
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,837
- You should really fix that.
- Am I a genius?
189
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:21,797
- No, you're an asshole.
- What a funny guy.
190
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:22,840
Fix the door, Bender.
191
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:23,966
Everyone, just...
192
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,467
I've been here before.
I know what I'm doing.
193
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,902
- No. Fix the door!
- Shut up!
194
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,862
God damn it!
195
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:41,317
Why is that door closed?
196
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,877
How are we supposed to know?
We're not supposed to move.
197
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:46,713
Why?
198
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,967
We're just sitting here
like we're supposed to.
199
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,598
Who closed that door?
200
00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:00,377
I think a screw fell out of it.
201
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,103
It just closed, sir.
202
00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,022
Who?
203
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,276
She doesn't talk, sir.
204
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,389
- Give me that screw.
- I don't have it.
205
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,892
You want me to yank you out
of that seat and shake it out of you?
206
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:17,227
I don't have it.
Screws fall out all the time.
207
00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:18,854
The world's an imperfect place.
208
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,439
Give it to me, Bender.
209
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,692
Excuse me, sir. Why would anybody
want to steal a screw?
210
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,626
Watch it, young lady.
211
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,889
The door's way too heavy, sir.
212
00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:45,897
Damn it!
213
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:56,991
Andrew Clark, get up here. Come on.
Front and center. Let's go.
214
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,688
Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up?
215
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:01,855
That's right.
216
00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:05,750
If he gets up, we'll all get up.
It'll be anarchy!
217
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,737
Watch the magazines.
218
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,671
It's out of my hands.
219
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:18,471
That's very clever, sir,
but what if there's a fire?
220
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:23,585
I think violating fire codes
and endangering the lives of children
221
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,338
would be unwise at this juncture
in your career, sir.
222
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:30,592
All right. What are you doing with this?
Get this out of here, for God's sake.
223
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:31,927
What's the matter with you? Come on!
224
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,639
You know, the school comes equipped
with fire exits at either end of the library.
225
00:18:35,739 --> 00:18:38,199
- Show Dick some respect.
- Let's go.
226
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,202
Go. Get back in your seat.
227
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,416
I expected a little more
from a varsity Letterman.
228
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,296
You're not fooling anybody, Bender.
229
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:55,550
The next screw that falls out
is gonna be you.
230
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,678
- Eat my shorts.
- What was that?
231
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,892
Eat my shorts.
232
00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:07,337
You just bought yourself
another Saturday, mister.
233
00:19:07,437 --> 00:19:08,756
Oh, I'm crushed.
234
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,007
You just bought one more right there.
235
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:13,635
Well, I'm free the Saturday after that.
Beyond that, I'll have to check my calendar.
236
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:17,113
Good! Because it's gonna be filled.
We'll keep going.
237
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:20,809
You want another one?
Say the word. Just say the word.
238
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,911
Instead of going to prison,
you'll come here.
239
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,815
- Are you through?
- No.
240
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,776
- I'm doing society a favor.
- So?
241
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,194
That's another right now.
242
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,530
I've got you for the rest of your life
if you don't watch your step.
243
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:34,656
You want another one?
244
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:35,783
Yes.
245
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:39,119
You got it! You got another one
right there. That's another one, pal.
246
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:42,180
Cut it out! Stop.
247
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:43,457
You through?
248
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,001
Not even close, bud.
249
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,045
You got one more right there.
250
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,797
You really think I give a shit?
251
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:51,105
Another.
252
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,384
You through?
253
00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:55,844
How many is that?
254
00:19:55,944 --> 00:19:58,847
That's seven, including the one
when you asked Mr. Vernon here
255
00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,808
whether Barry Manilow knew
he raided his closet.
256
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,518
Now it's eight. You stay out of it.
257
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:03,769
Excuse me, sir. It's seven.
258
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,453
Shut up, peewee.
259
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:12,752
You're mine, Bender.
For two months, I got you.
260
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:15,546
I got you.
261
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,076
What can I say? I'm thrilled.
262
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,745
Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what
you want these people to believe.
263
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,497
You know something?
264
00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:26,583
You ought to spend a little more time
trying to do something with yourself
265
00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:29,711
and a little less time
trying to impress people.
266
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:33,507
You might be better off.
All right. That's it!
267
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:36,426
I'm gonna be right outside those doors.
268
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:40,238
The next time I have to come in here,
I'm cracking skulls.
269
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,960
Fuck you!
270
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,471
Fuck.
271
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:49,408
Wake up!
272
00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:55,122
Who has to go to the lavatory?
273
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,876
That's real intelligent.
274
00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:16,310
You're right.
275
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,257
It's wrong to destroy literature.
276
00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:22,316
It's such fun to read.
277
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:24,735
And,
278
00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:29,975
Molay really pumps my nads.
279
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,283
Molière.
280
00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:36,080
I love his work.
281
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:49,343
Big deal. Nothing to do
when you're locked in a vacancy.
282
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:51,455
Speak for yourself.
283
00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:55,558
Do you think I'd speak for you?
I don't even know your language.
284
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,147
Hey, you grounded tonight?
285
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:06,360
I don't know. My mom said I was.
My dad told me just to blow her off.
286
00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:13,310
There's a big party at Stubby's.
His parents are in Europe.
287
00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:14,519
It should be pretty wild.
288
00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:15,604
Yeah?
289
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,455
Are you going to go?
290
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,067
I doubt it.
291
00:24:20,167 --> 00:24:21,276
How come?
292
00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:23,195
'Cause if I do what my mother
tells me not to do,
293
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,780
it's because my father says it's okay.
294
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,617
It's like this whole, big monster deal.
It's endless. It's a total drag.
295
00:24:28,717 --> 00:24:31,078
It's like, any minute, divorce.
296
00:24:31,178 --> 00:24:32,913
Who do you like better?
297
00:24:33,013 --> 00:24:34,138
What?
298
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,291
You like your old man
better than your mom?
299
00:24:36,391 --> 00:24:37,417
They're both screwed.
300
00:24:37,517 --> 00:24:40,436
No, I mean, if you had to choose
between them.
301
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:45,357
I don't know. Probably go live
with my brother.
302
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:50,639
I mean, I don't think either one of them
gives a shit about me.
303
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,974
It's like they use me
to get back at each other.
304
00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:54,241
Ha!
305
00:25:03,376 --> 00:25:04,627
Shut up!
306
00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,155
You're just feeling sorry for yourself.
307
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:08,990
Yeah, if I didn't, nobody else would.
308
00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:10,534
Oh, you're breaking my heart.
309
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,176
- Sporto?
- What?
310
00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:17,264
You get along with your parents?
311
00:25:17,599 --> 00:25:20,100
Well, if I say yes, I'm an idiot, right?
312
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,755
You're an idiot anyway.
313
00:25:23,855 --> 00:25:28,275
But if you say you get along with
your parents, well, you're a liar, too.
314
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:39,995
You know something, man?
If we weren't in school, I'd waste you.
315
00:25:40,413 --> 00:25:42,081
Can you hear this?
316
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:45,125
You want me to turn it up?
317
00:25:46,753 --> 00:25:48,629
Hey, fellows, I mean...
318
00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:53,551
I don't like my parents, either.
I mean, I don't...
319
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:57,956
I don't get along with them.
Their idea of parental compassion
320
00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:01,809
is just, you know, wacko, you know.
321
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:03,769
- Dork.
- Yeah?
322
00:26:04,312 --> 00:26:06,939
You are a parent's wet dream, okay?
323
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,470
That's the problem.
324
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,763
Look, I can see you getting
all bunged up for them
325
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:15,891
making you wear these kind of clothes,
326
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:19,159
but, face it,
you're a Neo-maxi-zoon-dweebie.
327
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,562
What would you be doing
328
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,731
if you weren't out making yourself
a better citizen?
329
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,374
Why do you have to insult everybody?
330
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:28,043
I'm being honest, asshole.
331
00:26:28,628 --> 00:26:31,463
I would expect you to know
the difference.
332
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:32,991
Well, he's got a name.
333
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:34,618
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
334
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:36,719
- What's your name?
- Brian.
335
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:38,330
See?
336
00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:39,513
My condolences.
337
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:44,685
What's your name?
338
00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:49,356
What's yours?
339
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,735
- Claire.
- Claire?
340
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:55,195
Claire. It's a family name.
341
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,432
- It's a fat girl's name.
- Oh, thank you.
342
00:26:57,532 --> 00:26:59,100
- You're welcome.
- I'm not fat.
343
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,687
Not at present, but I can see you
really pushing maximum density.
344
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:07,609
You see, I'm not sure if you know this,
but there are two kinds of fat people.
345
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:09,903
There's fat people
that were born to be fat
346
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:13,698
and there's fat people that were
once thin, but they became fat.
347
00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:17,869
So when you look at them, you can
sort of see that thin person inside.
348
00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:19,538
You see, you're gonna get married.
349
00:27:19,638 --> 00:27:22,723
You're gonna squeeze out
a few puppies, and then...
350
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:31,231
Oh. Obscene finger gestures
from such a pristine girl.
351
00:27:31,858 --> 00:27:33,734
I'm not that pristine.
352
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,948
Are you a virgin?
353
00:27:41,951 --> 00:27:46,080
I'll bet you a million dollars
that you are.
354
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:50,084
Let's end the suspense.
355
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:53,921
Is it going to be a white wedding?
356
00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:55,657
Why don't you just shut up?
357
00:27:55,757 --> 00:27:58,467
Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth?
358
00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:03,748
Have you ever been felt up
359
00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:07,101
over the bra, under the blouse,
360
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:09,796
your shoes off,
361
00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:12,731
hoping to God
your parents don't walk in?
362
00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:16,819
Do you want me to puke?
363
00:28:18,988 --> 00:28:20,614
Over the panties,
364
00:28:22,951 --> 00:28:24,118
no bra,
365
00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:27,621
blouse unbuttoned,
366
00:28:28,748 --> 00:28:32,793
Calvins in a ball on the front seat
past 11:00 on a school night?
367
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:36,255
Leave her alone.
368
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,475
I said leave her alone.
369
00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:53,272
You gonna make me?
370
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,107
Yeah.
371
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,159
You and how many of your friends?
372
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,161
Just me.
373
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:11,191
Just you and me. Two hits.
374
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:15,294
Me hitting you. You hitting the floor.
Anytime you're ready, pal.
375
00:29:23,052 --> 00:29:25,596
I don't want to get into this, man.
376
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,849
Why not?
377
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,643
Because I'd kill you.
378
00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:36,565
It's real simple.
379
00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:41,596
I'd kill you and your fucking parents
would sue me, and it'd be a big mess.
380
00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:44,490
I don't care enough about you to bother.
381
00:29:45,992 --> 00:29:47,367
Chickenshit.
382
00:29:59,255 --> 00:30:01,256
Let's end this right now.
383
00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:05,453
You don't talk to her.
You don't look at her.
384
00:30:05,553 --> 00:30:09,014
And you don't even think about her!
You understand me?
385
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:12,059
I'm trying to help her.
386
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,750
Brian, how you doing?
387
00:30:38,294 --> 00:30:40,045
Your dad work here?
388
00:30:45,593 --> 00:30:47,287
- Carl?
- What?
389
00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:48,538
Can I ask you a question?
390
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:49,721
Sure.
391
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:52,584
How does one become a janitor?
392
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,002
You want to be a janitor?
393
00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:56,504
No. I just want to know
how one becomes a janitor,
394
00:30:56,604 --> 00:30:58,339
because Andrew here
395
00:30:58,439 --> 00:31:02,135
is very interested in pursuing
a career in the custodial arts.
396
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,610
Oh, really?
397
00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:09,950
You guys think I'm some untouchable
peasant, serf, peon, you know?
398
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:14,522
Maybe so. But following a broom around
after shitheads like you
399
00:31:14,622 --> 00:31:17,108
for the last eight years,
I've learned a couple of things.
400
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:20,794
I look through your letters.
I look through your lockers.
401
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,325
I listen to your conversations.
You don't know that, but I do.
402
00:31:25,425 --> 00:31:29,136
I am the eyes and ears
of this institution, my friends.
403
00:31:32,932 --> 00:31:35,684
By the way, that clock's
20 minutes fast.
404
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,021
Shit.
405
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:27,470
All right, girls.
That's 30 minutes for lunch.
406
00:32:27,570 --> 00:32:29,321
- Here?
- Here.
407
00:32:29,864 --> 00:32:33,560
I think the cafeteria would be a more
suitable place for us to eat lunch in.
408
00:32:33,660 --> 00:32:36,437
I don't care what you think, Andrew.
409
00:32:36,537 --> 00:32:37,704
Dick?
410
00:32:38,164 --> 00:32:42,110
Excuse me, Rich.
Will milk be made available to us?
411
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:43,945
We're extremely thirsty, sir.
412
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,614
I have a really low tolerance
for dehydration.
413
00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:49,742
I've seen her dehydrated, sir.
It's pretty gross.
414
00:32:49,842 --> 00:32:51,551
Relax. I'll get it.
415
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:55,764
Grab some wood there, bub.
416
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,101
What, do you think I was born yesterday?
417
00:32:59,727 --> 00:33:03,063
You think I'm going to have you
roaming these halls?
418
00:33:04,273 --> 00:33:05,315
You.
419
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:13,949
And you. Hey!
420
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:17,312
What's her name? Wake her up.
421
00:33:17,412 --> 00:33:21,456
Hey, come on. On your feet, Missy.
Let's go! This is no rest home.
422
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:27,337
There's a soft drink machine
in the teachers' lounge. Let's go.
423
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:35,220
So what's your poison?
424
00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:39,891
What do you drink?
425
00:33:42,353 --> 00:33:44,146
Okay. Forget I asked.
426
00:33:46,649 --> 00:33:47,858
Vodka.
427
00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:53,030
Vodka? When do you drink vodka?
428
00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:55,115
Whenever.
429
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,769
A lot?
430
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,077
Tons.
431
00:34:00,079 --> 00:34:02,289
Is that why you're here today?
432
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,542
- Why are you here?
- Why are you here?
433
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:15,010
I'm here today because...
434
00:34:16,888 --> 00:34:20,682
Because my coach and my father
don't want me to blow my ride.
435
00:34:21,642 --> 00:34:25,395
I get treated differently
because coach thinks I'm a winner.
436
00:34:25,813 --> 00:34:27,564
So does my old man.
437
00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:30,301
I'm not a winner
because I want to be one.
438
00:34:30,401 --> 00:34:34,404
I'm a winner because I got strength
and speed, kind of like a racehorse.
439
00:34:35,823 --> 00:34:38,601
That's about how involved
I am in what's happening to me.
440
00:34:38,701 --> 00:34:39,826
Yeah?
441
00:34:41,162 --> 00:34:43,163
That's very interesting.
442
00:34:46,709 --> 00:34:50,045
Now why don't you tell me
why you're really in here.
443
00:34:50,963 --> 00:34:52,297
Forget it.
444
00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:03,376
Claire? Want to see a picture of a guy
with elephantiasis of the nuts?
445
00:35:03,476 --> 00:35:05,420
- It's pretty tasty.
- No, thank you.
446
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,938
How do you think he rides a bike?
447
00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:14,694
Claire? Would you consider
dating a guy like this?
448
00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:18,182
Can't you just leave me alone?
I mean, if he had a great personality,
449
00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,935
was a good dancer and had a cool car?
450
00:35:21,035 --> 00:35:25,872
You'd probably have to ride in the backseat
because his nuts would ride shotgun.
451
00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:28,693
You know what I wish I was doing?
452
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:31,586
Watch what you say.
Brian here is a cherry.
453
00:35:31,754 --> 00:35:32,989
A cherry?
454
00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:36,133
I wish I was in a plane to France.
455
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:37,535
I'm not a cherry.
456
00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:38,953
When have you ever gotten laid?
457
00:35:39,053 --> 00:35:41,304
I've laid lots of times.
458
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,014
Name one.
459
00:35:43,850 --> 00:35:45,460
She lives in Canada.
460
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,880
I met her at Niagara Falls.
You wouldn't know her.
461
00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:51,231
Ever laid anyone around here?
462
00:35:52,650 --> 00:35:55,735
Oh. You and Claire did it?
463
00:35:56,821 --> 00:35:59,557
- What are you talking about?
- Nothing. Nothing.
464
00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:01,267
Let's just drop it, okay?
We'll talk about it later.
465
00:36:01,367 --> 00:36:02,560
What are you talking about?
466
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:03,895
Brian's trying to tell me
467
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:07,356
that in addition to the number of girls
in the Niagara Falls area,
468
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:10,876
that presently you and he
are riding the hobby horse.
469
00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:13,336
- Little pig.
- No, I'm not.
470
00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:17,366
John said I was a cherry, and I said
I wasn't. That's all that was said.
471
00:36:17,466 --> 00:36:19,911
Then what were you motioning
to Claire for?
472
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,954
I don't appreciate this
very much, Brian.
473
00:36:22,054 --> 00:36:23,164
He is lying.
474
00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:25,599
You weren't motioning to Claire?
475
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:27,835
You know he's lying, right?
476
00:36:27,935 --> 00:36:30,729
Were you or were you not
motioning to Claire?
477
00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:33,607
Yeah, but it was only...
478
00:36:34,817 --> 00:36:38,445
it was only because I didn't want her
to know I was a virgin.
479
00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:41,933
Excuse me for being a virgin. I'm sorry.
480
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,185
Why didn't you want me to know
you were a virgin?
481
00:36:44,285 --> 00:36:47,438
Because it's personal business.
It's my personal, private business.
482
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:50,608
Well, Brian, it doesn't sound
like you're doing any business.
483
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:53,627
I think it's okay for a guy
to be a virgin.
484
00:36:54,295 --> 00:36:55,503
You do?
485
00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:08,292
What's in there?
486
00:37:08,392 --> 00:37:10,977
Guess. Where's your lunch?
487
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,688
You're wearing it.
488
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,941
You're nauseating.
489
00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:32,332
What's that?
490
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,167
Sushi.
491
00:37:35,294 --> 00:37:36,279
Sushi?
492
00:37:36,379 --> 00:37:40,507
Rice, raw fish and seaweed.
493
00:37:43,844 --> 00:37:46,998
You won't accept a guy's tongue
in your mouth, and you're gonna eat that?
494
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:48,390
Can I eat?
495
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,018
I don't know. Give it a try.
496
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,056
What's your problem?
497
00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:31,451
What are we having?
498
00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,455
It's your standard,
regular lunch, I guess.
499
00:39:37,625 --> 00:39:39,417
- Milk?
- Soup.
500
00:39:44,882 --> 00:39:47,133
- That's apple juice.
- I can read.
501
00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:50,553
PB&J with the crusts cut off.
502
00:39:51,847 --> 00:39:54,875
Well, Brian, this is a very
nutritious lunch.
503
00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:57,519
All the food groups are represented.
504
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:00,647
Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
505
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,024
No, Mr. Johnson.
506
00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:09,906
Here's my impression of life
at big Bri's house.
507
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,746
"Son?"
508
00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:18,665
"Yeah, Dad?"
509
00:40:18,874 --> 00:40:20,917
"How's your day, pal?"
510
00:40:21,168 --> 00:40:22,486
"Great, Dad."
511
00:40:22,586 --> 00:40:24,003
"How's yours?"
512
00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:25,630
"Super."
513
00:40:26,215 --> 00:40:31,010
"Say, son, how'd you like
to go fishing this weekend?"
514
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:36,141
"Great, Dad. But I've got homework to do."
515
00:40:36,684 --> 00:40:40,562
"That's all right, son.
You can do it on the boat."
516
00:40:41,522 --> 00:40:42,814
"Gee!"
517
00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:47,902
"Dear, isn't our son swell?"
518
00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:50,264
"Yes, dear."
519
00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:52,532
"isn't life swell?"
520
00:40:53,868 --> 00:40:57,203
"Oh..."
521
00:41:07,173 --> 00:41:09,116
All right. What about your family?
522
00:41:09,216 --> 00:41:10,951
- Who, mine?
- Yeah.
523
00:41:11,051 --> 00:41:12,552
It's real easy.
524
00:41:21,353 --> 00:41:25,841
"Stupid, worthless, no-good,"
525
00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:29,053
"goddamn freeloading son of a bitch."
526
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:33,072
"Retarded, big mouth,
know-it-all, asshole, jerk."
527
00:41:35,409 --> 00:41:39,688
"You forgot ugly,
lazy and disrespectful."
528
00:41:39,788 --> 00:41:43,041
"Shut up, bitch!
Go fix me a turkey potpie."
529
00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:45,668
"What about you, Dad?"
530
00:41:45,961 --> 00:41:47,086
"Fuck you."
531
00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:54,703
"No, Dad. What about you?" "Fuck you!"
532
00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:55,929
Bam!
533
00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,377
Is that for real?
534
00:42:01,477 --> 00:42:02,711
You want to come over sometime?
535
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:04,839
That's bullshit.
It's all part of your image.
536
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,090
I don't believe a word of it.
537
00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:07,899
You don't believe me?
538
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,510
- No.
- No?
539
00:42:09,610 --> 00:42:11,110
Did I stutter?
540
00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:22,539
Do you believe this? Huh?
541
00:42:23,832 --> 00:42:27,126
It's about the size of a cigar.
Do I stutter?
542
00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:32,549
See, this is what you get in my house
when you spill paint in the garage.
543
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:39,556
I don't think that I need to sit
with you fucking dildos anymore.
544
00:42:49,316 --> 00:42:50,400
Fuck!
545
00:43:11,338 --> 00:43:12,781
You shouldn't have said that.
546
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:14,424
How did I know?
547
00:43:15,884 --> 00:43:18,553
I mean, he lies about everything anyway.
548
00:43:37,072 --> 00:43:38,364
Oh, shit.
549
00:43:39,158 --> 00:43:43,911
Coffee. Looks like it's been scraped
off the bottom of the Mississippi River.
550
00:43:45,664 --> 00:43:47,733
Everything's polluted.
Everything's polluted.
551
00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:50,835
The coffee's polluted.
The kids are polluted.
552
00:44:03,265 --> 00:44:04,667
How do you know where Vernon went?
553
00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:06,225
I don't.
554
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:09,046
Then how do you know when he'll be back?
555
00:44:09,146 --> 00:44:10,688
I don't.
556
00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,859
Being bad feels pretty good. Huh?
557
00:44:17,237 --> 00:44:18,889
What's the point of going
to Bender's locker?
558
00:44:18,989 --> 00:44:20,281
Beats me.
559
00:44:21,408 --> 00:44:25,495
This is so stupid.
Why are we risking getting caught?
560
00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,288
I don't know.
561
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,817
So then what are we doing?
562
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:33,112
You ask me one more question,
and I'm beating the shit out of you.
563
00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:34,379
Sorry.
564
00:44:40,552 --> 00:44:41,704
You're such a slob.
565
00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:43,429
My maid's on vacation.
566
00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:01,072
It's drugs.
567
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:03,517
Screw that, Bender. Put it back.
568
00:45:03,617 --> 00:45:05,827
Drugs. The boy has marijuana.
569
00:45:08,622 --> 00:45:11,124
- That was marijuana.
- Shut up, dick.
570
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:15,378
Do you approve of this?
571
00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:29,168
We'll cross through the lab,
and then we'll double back.
572
00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:30,294
You better be right.
573
00:45:30,394 --> 00:45:32,880
If Vernon cuts us off,
it's your fault, asshole.
574
00:45:32,980 --> 00:45:35,648
What did he say? Where are we going?
575
00:46:18,942 --> 00:46:20,886
Wait. Wait. Hold it. Hold it.
576
00:46:20,986 --> 00:46:23,347
- We have to go through the cafeteria.
- No, the activities hall.
577
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:24,890
Hey, you don't know
what you're talking about.
578
00:46:24,990 --> 00:46:26,100
You don't know.
579
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,936
We're through listening to you.
We're going this way.
580
00:46:29,036 --> 00:46:32,997
You go where you want,
mother hen. Come on!
581
00:46:55,521 --> 00:46:56,505
Shit!
582
00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:58,298
- Great idea, jag-off.
- Fuck you.
583
00:46:58,398 --> 00:47:00,217
Fuck you. Why didn't you listen to John?
584
00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:01,692
We're dead.
585
00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:05,404
No. Just me.
586
00:47:06,448 --> 00:47:07,516
What do you mean?
587
00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:10,785
Get back to the library.
Keep your unit out of it.
588
00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:15,289
I wanna be an airborne ranger.
589
00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:18,652
I wanna be an airborne ranger.
590
00:47:18,752 --> 00:47:20,154
That son of a bitch.
591
00:47:20,254 --> 00:47:22,865
Before the day I die.
592
00:47:22,965 --> 00:47:25,367
There's five things I want to ride.
593
00:47:25,467 --> 00:47:27,953
Bicycle, tricycle, automobile.
594
00:47:28,053 --> 00:47:30,638
Virgin's mother and a Ferris wheel.
595
00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:38,104
I wanna be an airborne ranger.
596
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:53,661
Three, two, one!
597
00:47:56,248 --> 00:47:58,609
Bender! Bender! What is this?
598
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:00,152
What are you doing here? What is this?
599
00:48:00,252 --> 00:48:01,627
Hi.
600
00:48:03,630 --> 00:48:06,742
Out! That's it, Bender. Out! It's over.
601
00:48:06,842 --> 00:48:08,494
Don't you want to hear my excuse?
602
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:09,870
Out.
603
00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:12,372
I'm thinking of trying out
for a scholarship.
604
00:48:12,472 --> 00:48:15,975
Give me the ball, Bender.
Give me that ball.
605
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,579
Get your stuff. Let's go.
606
00:48:38,206 --> 00:48:41,568
Mr. Wise Guy here's taken upon himself
to go to the gymnasium.
607
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,237
I'm sorry to inform you,
608
00:48:43,337 --> 00:48:46,073
you're going to be without his services
for the rest of the day.
609
00:48:46,173 --> 00:48:49,117
B-O-O-H-O-O.
610
00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:52,579
Everything's a big joke, huh, Bender?
The false alarm you pulled Friday...
611
00:48:52,679 --> 00:48:55,598
False alarms are really funny,
aren't they?
612
00:48:55,849 --> 00:48:58,809
What if your home...
What if your family...
613
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:01,630
What if your dope was on fire?
614
00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:05,524
Impossible, sir.
It's in Johnson's underwear.
615
00:49:06,526 --> 00:49:08,220
You think he's funny?
616
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:12,099
You think this is cute?
You think he's bitching? Is that it?
617
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:15,451
Let me tell you something. Look at him.
618
00:49:16,954 --> 00:49:18,939
He's a bum.
619
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:22,860
You want to see something funny?
You go visit John Bender in five years.
620
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,503
You'll see how goddamn funny he is.
621
00:49:32,761 --> 00:49:35,596
What's the matter, John?
You going to cry?
622
00:49:38,725 --> 00:49:41,686
- Let's go.
- Keep your fucking hands off me!
623
00:49:43,021 --> 00:49:46,023
I expect better manners from you, Dick.
624
00:49:48,068 --> 00:49:50,069
For better hallway vision.
625
00:50:01,999 --> 00:50:03,150
That's the last time, Bender.
626
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,652
That's the last time you ever make me
look bad in front of those kids.
627
00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:06,820
Do you hear me?
628
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,323
I make $31,000 a year,
and I've got a home.
629
00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:12,284
And I'm not about to throw it away
on some punk like you.
630
00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:14,953
But someday, man,
someday when you're out of here,
631
00:50:15,053 --> 00:50:17,998
and you've forgotten all about this place,
and they've forgotten about you,
632
00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:20,959
and you're wrapped up
in your own pathetic life
633
00:50:21,059 --> 00:50:22,935
I'm gonna be there.
634
00:50:24,312 --> 00:50:27,674
That's right. And I'm gonna kick
the living shit out of you, man.
635
00:50:27,774 --> 00:50:30,443
I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.
636
00:50:33,155 --> 00:50:34,905
You threatening me?
637
00:50:35,198 --> 00:50:37,450
What are you going to do about it?
638
00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:41,954
You think anybody's gonna believe you?
639
00:50:43,290 --> 00:50:46,625
You think anybody is gonna
take your word over mine?
640
00:50:47,753 --> 00:50:50,113
I'm a man of respect around here.
They love me around here.
641
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:55,134
I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack
of shit, and everybody knows it.
642
00:50:57,345 --> 00:51:00,832
You're a real tough guy.
Hey, hey. Come on.
643
00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:04,127
Get on your feet, pal!
Let's find out how tough you are.
644
00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:06,964
I wanna know, right now,
how tough you are. Come on.
645
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:10,425
I'll give you the first punch.
Let's go. Come on. Right here.
646
00:51:10,525 --> 00:51:14,612
Just take the first shot. Please.
I'm begging you. Take a shot. Right here.
647
00:51:14,821 --> 00:51:18,282
Just take one shot. That's all I need.
Just one swing.
648
00:51:28,043 --> 00:51:30,002
That's what I thought.
649
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:33,881
You're a gutless turd.
650
00:52:14,214 --> 00:52:18,384
A naked blond walks into a bar
with a poodle under one arm
651
00:52:18,718 --> 00:52:21,512
and a two-foot salami under the other.
652
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:25,266
She lays the poodle on the table.
653
00:52:26,059 --> 00:52:29,895
Bartender says, "I suppose
you won't be needing a drink."
654
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:34,733
Naked lady says... Oh, shit!
655
00:52:36,069 --> 00:52:38,696
Jesus Christ Almighty!
656
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:45,786
Forgot my pencil.
657
00:52:51,376 --> 00:52:53,294
God damn it!
658
00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:58,757
What in God's name is going on in here?
659
00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:00,869
What was that ruckus?
660
00:53:00,969 --> 00:53:02,287
What ruckus?
661
00:53:02,387 --> 00:53:04,930
I was in my office,
and I heard a ruckus.
662
00:53:05,473 --> 00:53:07,167
Could you describe the ruckus, sir.
663
00:53:07,267 --> 00:53:09,643
Watch your tongue, young man. Watch it.
664
00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,148
What is this?
665
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,678
What is that? What... What...
What is that noise?
666
00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:19,930
What noise?
667
00:53:20,030 --> 00:53:22,781
Really, sir, there wasn't any noise.
668
00:53:32,792 --> 00:53:34,986
That noise? Was that the noise
you were talking about?
669
00:53:35,086 --> 00:53:38,824
No, it wasn't. That was not
the noise I was talking about.
670
00:53:38,924 --> 00:53:43,719
Now, I may not have caught you in
the act this time, but you can bet I will.
671
00:53:45,805 --> 00:53:48,057
You make book on that, Missy.
672
00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:52,645
And you! I will not be made a fool of.
673
00:54:08,995 --> 00:54:10,355
It was an accident.
674
00:54:10,455 --> 00:54:12,539
You're an asshole.
675
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:15,084
Sue me.
676
00:54:21,549 --> 00:54:24,343
So, Ahab, can I have all my doobage?
677
00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:36,522
Yo, wastoid.
You're not gonna blaze up in here.
678
00:55:24,821 --> 00:55:26,613
Shit.
679
00:56:21,961 --> 00:56:26,131
Chicks cannot hold their smoke.
That's what it is.
680
00:56:30,637 --> 00:56:33,665
Do you know how popular I am?
681
00:56:33,765 --> 00:56:38,545
I am so popular. Everybody
loves me so much at this school.
682
00:56:38,645 --> 00:56:40,479
Poor baby.
683
00:56:48,530 --> 00:56:50,239
Five.
684
00:58:02,729 --> 00:58:06,273
Mr... Oh, Mr. Tierney.
685
00:58:07,192 --> 00:58:11,028
A history of slight mental illness.
686
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:13,973
No wonder he's so fucked up.
687
00:58:14,073 --> 00:58:15,449
Afternoon, Dick.
688
00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,311
- Hey, Carl. How you doing?
- Good.
689
00:58:18,411 --> 00:58:20,579
- Good. What's up?
- Not much.
690
00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:22,982
What's happening?
What are you doing in the basement files?
691
00:58:23,082 --> 00:58:25,375
Oh, nothing. Nothing here.
Just doing a little homework.
692
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,211
- Homework, huh?
- Yeah.
693
00:58:30,131 --> 00:58:32,424
Confidential files, huh?
694
00:58:33,426 --> 00:58:37,080
Look, Carl. This is a highly sensitive area,
and I tell you something.
695
00:58:37,180 --> 00:58:39,833
Certain people would be very,
very embarrassed.
696
00:58:39,933 --> 00:58:42,585
I would really appreciate it
if this would be something
697
00:58:42,685 --> 00:58:45,938
that you and I could keep between us.
698
00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:48,133
What are you gonna do for me, man?
699
00:58:48,233 --> 00:58:49,759
What would you like?
700
00:58:49,859 --> 00:58:51,094
Got 50 bucks?
701
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:52,345
What?
702
00:58:52,445 --> 00:58:54,154
Fifty bucks.
703
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:59,743
No, no, no, man.
No, you got a middle name?
704
00:59:01,538 --> 00:59:02,871
Yeah, guess.
705
00:59:03,164 --> 00:59:07,125
Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke.
706
00:59:08,503 --> 00:59:12,407
Your birthday, it's March 12.
You're 5'91 /2".
707
00:59:12,507 --> 00:59:14,701
You weigh 130 pounds.
708
00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:17,162
And your social security number is
709
00:59:17,262 --> 00:59:22,808
049380913.
710
00:59:24,143 --> 00:59:25,143
Wow.
711
00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:27,563
- Are you a psychic?
- No.
712
00:59:30,149 --> 00:59:33,735
Would you mind telling me
how you know all this about me?
713
00:59:37,282 --> 00:59:38,349
I stole your wallet.
714
00:59:38,449 --> 00:59:39,434
Give it to me.
715
00:59:39,534 --> 00:59:41,034
- No.
- Give it!
716
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:45,440
- This is great. You're a thief, too, huh?
- I'm not a thief.
717
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:46,941
Multitalented.
718
00:59:47,041 --> 00:59:48,109
What's there to steal?
719
00:59:48,209 --> 00:59:49,903
Two bucks and a beaver shot.
720
00:59:50,003 --> 00:59:51,070
A what?
721
00:59:51,170 --> 00:59:53,865
He's got a nudie picture in there.
I saw it. It's perverted.
722
00:59:53,965 --> 00:59:55,966
All right. Let's see it.
723
01:00:03,558 --> 01:00:05,210
Are all these your girlfriends?
724
01:00:05,310 --> 01:00:06,727
Some of them.
725
01:00:07,395 --> 01:00:08,838
What about the others?
726
01:00:08,938 --> 01:00:13,426
Well, some I consider my girlfriends,
and some I just consider.
727
01:00:13,526 --> 01:00:15,345
Consider what?
728
01:00:15,445 --> 01:00:18,097
Whether or not I
wanna hang out with them.
729
01:00:18,197 --> 01:00:21,158
You don't believe
in just one guy, one girl?
730
01:00:21,701 --> 01:00:23,535
- Do you?
- Yeah.
731
01:00:24,370 --> 01:00:25,996
It's the way it should be.
732
01:00:26,205 --> 01:00:27,789
Well, not for me.
733
01:00:28,082 --> 01:00:29,750
Why not?
734
01:00:30,043 --> 01:00:32,278
How come you got
so much shit in your purse?
735
01:00:32,378 --> 01:00:33,947
How come you have so many girlfriends?
736
01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:36,089
I asked you first.
737
01:00:36,674 --> 01:00:39,869
I don't know. I guess
I never threw anything away.
738
01:00:39,969 --> 01:00:42,179
Neither do I.
739
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:43,305
Oh.
740
01:00:44,223 --> 01:00:47,225
This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen.
741
01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:50,713
Do you realize you made yourself 68?
742
01:00:50,813 --> 01:00:52,966
I know. I know. I goofed it.
743
01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:54,759
What do you need a fake I.D. for?
744
01:00:54,859 --> 01:00:56,234
So I can vote.
745
01:00:58,237 --> 01:01:00,489
You wanna see what's in my bag?
746
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:02,366
No.
747
01:01:17,548 --> 01:01:19,132
Holy shit!
748
01:01:20,343 --> 01:01:21,703
What is all that stuff?
749
01:01:21,803 --> 01:01:24,664
Do you always carry
this much shit in your bag?
750
01:01:24,764 --> 01:01:26,264
Yeah.
751
01:01:26,933 --> 01:01:30,560
I always carry this much shit in my bag.
752
01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:34,523
You never know when you may have to jam.
753
01:01:35,191 --> 01:01:38,110
Are you gonna be, like,
a shopping bag lady?
754
01:01:38,945 --> 01:01:41,222
You know, like, sit in alleyways
755
01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:44,517
and talk to buildings and wear men's shoes
and that kind of thing?
756
01:01:44,617 --> 01:01:46,702
I'll do what I have to do.
757
01:01:47,412 --> 01:01:49,746
Why do you have to do anything?
758
01:01:50,581 --> 01:01:55,627
My home life is unsatisfying.
759
01:01:56,713 --> 01:01:59,449
So you're saying you'd subject yourself
to the violent dangers
760
01:01:59,549 --> 01:02:03,202
of these Chicago streets
because your home life is unsatisfying?
761
01:02:03,302 --> 01:02:04,996
I don't have to run away
and live in the street.
762
01:02:05,096 --> 01:02:07,415
I can run away
and I can go to the ocean.
763
01:02:07,515 --> 01:02:09,208
I can go to the country.
I can go to the mountains.
764
01:02:09,308 --> 01:02:12,644
I could go to Israel,
Africa, Afghanistan.
765
01:02:21,863 --> 01:02:23,806
Andy, wanna get in on this?
766
01:02:23,906 --> 01:02:30,537
Allison here says she wants to run away
because her home life is unsatisfying.
767
01:02:32,874 --> 01:02:35,792
Well, everyone's home life
is unsatisfying.
768
01:02:36,669 --> 01:02:39,656
And if it wasn't, people would live
with their parents forever.
769
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:42,992
Yeah, yeah, I understand,
but I think hers goes beyond
770
01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:48,081
what, you know, guys like you
and me consider normal unsatisfying.
771
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:51,183
Never mind. Forget it.
Everything's cool.
772
01:02:51,768 --> 01:02:53,852
- What's the deal?
- No.
773
01:02:54,353 --> 01:02:56,798
There's no deal, sporto.
774
01:02:56,898 --> 01:02:58,383
Forget it. Leave me alone.
775
01:02:58,483 --> 01:02:59,550
Wait a minute.
776
01:02:59,650 --> 01:03:02,595
You're carrying all that crap
around in your purse.
777
01:03:02,695 --> 01:03:04,305
Either you really wanna run away,
778
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:06,933
or you want people
to think you wanna run away.
779
01:03:07,033 --> 01:03:08,950
Eat shit.
780
01:03:11,245 --> 01:03:15,165
The girl is an island
unto herself, okay?
781
01:03:24,383 --> 01:03:25,550
Hi.
782
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,346
- You wanna talk?
- No.
783
01:03:29,722 --> 01:03:31,389
Why not?
784
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:34,267
Go away.
785
01:03:34,602 --> 01:03:35,670
Where do you want me to go?
786
01:03:35,770 --> 01:03:37,354
Go away!
787
01:03:48,032 --> 01:03:49,517
You have problems.
788
01:03:49,617 --> 01:03:50,977
Oh, I have problems.
789
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,147
You do everything everybody
ever tells you to do. That is a problem.
790
01:03:54,247 --> 01:03:56,941
Okay, fine. But I didn't dump
my purse out on the couch
791
01:03:57,041 --> 01:04:01,586
and invite people
into my problems, did I?
792
01:04:07,134 --> 01:04:08,885
So what's wrong?
793
01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:11,930
What is it?
794
01:04:16,811 --> 01:04:18,671
Is it bad?
795
01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:20,522
Real bad?
796
01:04:21,107 --> 01:04:22,691
Parents?
797
01:04:38,457 --> 01:04:39,666
Yeah.
798
01:04:50,011 --> 01:04:52,137
What do they do to you?
799
01:04:53,931 --> 01:04:55,891
They ignore me.
800
01:04:58,352 --> 01:05:04,149
Yeah.
801
01:05:08,070 --> 01:05:10,906
What did you wanna be
when you were young?
802
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:15,160
When I was a kid,
I wanted to be John Lennon.
803
01:05:16,537 --> 01:05:18,606
Carl, don't be a goof.
804
01:05:18,706 --> 01:05:21,359
I'm trying to make a serious point here.
805
01:05:21,459 --> 01:05:24,878
Carl, I've been teaching for 22 years.
806
01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:29,992
And each year, these kids
get more and more arrogant.
807
01:05:30,092 --> 01:05:33,079
Oh, bullshit, man. Come on, Vern.
808
01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:35,055
The kids haven't changed, you have.
809
01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:41,254
You took a teaching position
'cause you thought it'd be fun, right?
810
01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:44,090
Thought you could have
summer vacations off.
811
01:05:44,190 --> 01:05:46,342
And then you found out
it was actually work.
812
01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:48,568
That really bummed you out.
813
01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:52,656
These kids turned on me.
814
01:05:55,284 --> 01:05:57,562
They think I'm a big fucking joke.
815
01:05:57,662 --> 01:05:58,995
Come on.
816
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:03,734
Listen, Vern. If you were 16,
what would you think of you?
817
01:06:03,834 --> 01:06:08,614
Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat's ass
what these kids think of me?
818
01:06:08,714 --> 01:06:10,340
Yes, I do.
819
01:06:11,801 --> 01:06:15,204
You think about this.
When you get old, these kids...
820
01:06:15,304 --> 01:06:18,765
When I get old, they're gonna
be running the country.
821
01:06:19,684 --> 01:06:21,017
Yeah.
822
01:06:21,310 --> 01:06:25,021
Now this is the thought that wakes me
up in the middle of the night.
823
01:06:25,731 --> 01:06:29,275
When I get older, these kids
are gonna take care of me.
824
01:06:30,319 --> 01:06:32,237
I wouldn't count on it.
825
01:06:36,117 --> 01:06:38,743
What would I do for a million bucks?
826
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:42,398
I guess I'd do as little as I had to.
827
01:06:42,498 --> 01:06:43,524
That's boring.
828
01:06:43,624 --> 01:06:45,375
Well, how am I supposed to answer?
829
01:06:45,793 --> 01:06:49,155
The idea is to, like, search
your mind for the absolute limit.
830
01:06:49,255 --> 01:06:54,009
Like, would you drive to school naked?
831
01:06:58,806 --> 01:07:00,499
Would I have to get out of the car?
832
01:07:00,599 --> 01:07:01,751
Of course.
833
01:07:01,851 --> 01:07:03,794
In the spring or winter?
834
01:07:03,894 --> 01:07:05,963
Doesn't matter. Spring.
835
01:07:06,063 --> 01:07:08,466
In front of the school
or in back of the school?
836
01:07:08,566 --> 01:07:09,691
Either one.
837
01:07:10,109 --> 01:07:11,234
Yes.
838
01:07:11,694 --> 01:07:13,486
I'd do that.
839
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:18,684
I'll do anything sexual. I don't need
a million dollars to do it, either.
840
01:07:18,784 --> 01:07:19,894
You're lying.
841
01:07:19,994 --> 01:07:21,745
I already have.
842
01:07:21,996 --> 01:07:26,791
I've done just about everything there is,
except a few things that are illegal.
843
01:07:27,001 --> 01:07:28,918
I'm a nymphomaniac.
844
01:07:29,628 --> 01:07:31,337
Lie.
845
01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:33,923
Are your parents aware of this?
846
01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:36,426
The only person I told was my shrink.
847
01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:38,845
What did he do when you told him?
848
01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:41,014
He nailed me.
849
01:07:44,560 --> 01:07:46,128
Very nice.
850
01:07:46,228 --> 01:07:48,589
I don't think that
from a legal standpoint
851
01:07:48,689 --> 01:07:52,093
what he did can be construed
as rape since I paid him.
852
01:07:52,193 --> 01:07:53,260
He's an adult.
853
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:55,779
Yeah. He's married, too.
854
01:07:57,615 --> 01:08:00,226
Do you have any idea
how completely gross that is?
855
01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:03,369
- Well, the first few times...
- The first few times?
856
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:05,815
- You mean, he did it more than once?
- Sure.
857
01:08:05,915 --> 01:08:07,233
Are you crazy?
858
01:08:07,333 --> 01:08:10,627
Obviously she's crazy
if she's screwing her shrink.
859
01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:13,838
Have you ever done it?
860
01:08:16,092 --> 01:08:18,244
I don't even have a psychiatrist.
861
01:08:18,344 --> 01:08:20,913
Have you ever done it
with a normal person?
862
01:08:21,013 --> 01:08:22,331
Didn't we already cover this?
863
01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:25,016
You never answered the question.
864
01:08:26,185 --> 01:08:29,422
Look. I'm not going to discuss
my private life with total strangers.
865
01:08:29,522 --> 01:08:31,257
It's kind of a double-edged sword,
isn't it?
866
01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:32,425
A what?
867
01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:36,095
If you say you haven't, you're a prude.
868
01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:40,266
If you say you have, you're a slut.
It's a trap.
869
01:08:40,366 --> 01:08:42,184
You want to, but you can't.
870
01:08:42,284 --> 01:08:44,770
And when you do,
you wish you didn't, right?
871
01:08:44,870 --> 01:08:45,813
Wrong.
872
01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:48,790
Or are you a tease?
873
01:08:50,042 --> 01:08:51,193
She's a tease.
874
01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:52,778
I'm sure. Why don't you forget it?
875
01:08:52,878 --> 01:08:55,406
You're a tease and you know it.
All girls are teases.
876
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:57,700
She's only a tease
if what she does gets you hot.
877
01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,201
I don't do anything!
878
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:01,594
That's why you're a tease.
879
01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:04,123
Okay, let me ask you a few questions.
880
01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:05,958
- I already told you everything.
- No.
881
01:09:06,058 --> 01:09:08,210
Doesn't it bother you to sleep around
without being in love?
882
01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:09,587
Don't you want respect?
883
01:09:09,687 --> 01:09:12,131
I don't screw to get respect.
884
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:14,633
That's the difference
between you and me.
885
01:09:14,733 --> 01:09:16,260
It's not the only difference I hope.
886
01:09:16,360 --> 01:09:17,762
Face it, you're a tease.
887
01:09:17,862 --> 01:09:18,929
I'm not a tease.
888
01:09:19,029 --> 01:09:21,182
Sure you are. Sex is your weapon.
889
01:09:21,282 --> 01:09:24,409
You said it yourself.
You use it to get respect.
890
01:09:25,244 --> 01:09:28,147
No, I never said that.
She twisted my words around.
891
01:09:28,247 --> 01:09:29,482
What do you use it for, then?
892
01:09:29,582 --> 01:09:31,567
I don't use it, period!
893
01:09:31,667 --> 01:09:34,779
Are you medically frigid
or is it psychological?
894
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:37,907
I didn't mean it that way. You guys
are putting words into my mouth.
895
01:09:38,007 --> 01:09:39,700
Well, if you'd just answer the question.
896
01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:41,077
Why don't you just answer the question?
897
01:09:41,177 --> 01:09:42,995
Be honest. No big deal. Yeah, answer it.
898
01:09:43,095 --> 01:09:45,247
- Just answer the question, Claire.
- Talk to us.
899
01:09:45,347 --> 01:09:47,432
- Answer the question!
- Answer the question!
900
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,668
- Don't be a jerk!
- It's easy. It's only one question.
901
01:09:49,768 --> 01:09:52,562
No, I never did it!
902
01:09:57,151 --> 01:09:59,110
I never did it, either.
903
01:10:01,447 --> 01:10:05,450
I'm not a nymphomaniac.
I'm a compulsive liar.
904
01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:09,647
You are such a bitch!
905
01:10:09,747 --> 01:10:12,399
You did that on purpose
just to fuck me over!
906
01:10:12,499 --> 01:10:16,294
I would do it, though.
If you love someone, it's okay.
907
01:10:17,254 --> 01:10:19,115
I can't believe you. You're so weird.
908
01:10:19,215 --> 01:10:22,493
You don't say anything all day,
and then when you open your mouth
909
01:10:22,593 --> 01:10:24,912
you unload all these
tremendous lies all over me.
910
01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,580
You're just pissed off
because she got you
911
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:28,999
to admit something
you didn't want to admit to.
912
01:10:29,099 --> 01:10:31,335
Okay, fine. But that doesn't make it
any less bizarre.
913
01:10:31,435 --> 01:10:35,313
What's bizarre? I mean,
we're all pretty bizarre.
914
01:10:36,065 --> 01:10:38,926
Some of us are just better
at hiding it, that's all.
915
01:10:39,026 --> 01:10:40,902
How are you bizarre?
916
01:10:42,988 --> 01:10:45,156
He can't think for himself.
917
01:10:46,367 --> 01:10:47,825
She's right.
918
01:10:48,994 --> 01:10:52,455
Do you guys know
what I did to get in here?
919
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:57,085
I taped Larry Lester's buns together.
920
01:10:58,045 --> 01:10:59,629
That was you?
921
01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:01,657
Yeah. You know him?
922
01:11:01,757 --> 01:11:03,174
Yeah, I know him.
923
01:11:04,176 --> 01:11:06,594
Then you know how hairy he is, right?
924
01:11:07,096 --> 01:11:13,351
When they pulled the tape off, most
of his hair came off and some skin, too.
925
01:11:13,894 --> 01:11:15,588
Oh, my God.
926
01:11:15,688 --> 01:11:20,525
The bizarre thing is,
is that I did it for my old man.
927
01:11:23,195 --> 01:11:25,639
I tortured this poor kid
928
01:11:25,739 --> 01:11:28,783
because I wanted him
to think that I was cool.
929
01:11:30,953 --> 01:11:34,872
He's always going off about,
you know, when he was in school.
930
01:11:35,666 --> 01:11:38,126
All the wild things he used to do.
931
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:42,239
And I got the feeling
that he was disappointed
932
01:11:42,339 --> 01:11:45,091
that I never cut loose on anyone, right.
933
01:11:47,553 --> 01:11:53,349
So, I'm sitting in the locker room
and I'm taping up my knee.
934
01:11:55,769 --> 01:12:00,064
And Larry's undressing
a couple lockers down from me.
935
01:12:04,069 --> 01:12:08,114
And he's kind of... He's kind of skinny.
He's weak.
936
01:12:10,075 --> 01:12:16,664
And I started thinking about my father
and his attitude about weakness.
937
01:12:18,584 --> 01:12:20,668
And the next thing I knew
938
01:12:22,338 --> 01:12:26,174
I jumped on top of him
and started wailing on him.
939
01:12:28,510 --> 01:12:31,888
And my friends, they just laughed
and cheered me on.
940
01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:36,559
And afterwards,
941
01:12:38,812 --> 01:12:41,898
when I was sitting in Vernon's office,
942
01:12:44,318 --> 01:12:46,277
all I could think about
943
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:49,322
was Larry's father
944
01:12:51,158 --> 01:12:53,659
and Larry having to go home
945
01:12:55,329 --> 01:12:58,748
and explain what happened to him.
946
01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:05,421
And the humiliation.
947
01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:10,468
Fucking humiliation he must have felt.
948
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:15,932
It must have been unreal.
949
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:22,355
I mean, how do you apologize
for something like that?
950
01:13:26,276 --> 01:13:27,860
There's no way.
951
01:13:32,533 --> 01:13:35,201
It's all because of me and my old man.
952
01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,416
God, I fucking hate him.
953
01:13:43,836 --> 01:13:45,237
He's like this...
954
01:13:45,337 --> 01:13:49,549
He's like this mindless machine
that I can't even relate to anymore.
955
01:13:50,384 --> 01:13:54,345
"Andrew! You've got to be number one!"
956
01:13:55,639 --> 01:13:58,334
"I won't tolerate any losers
in this family."
957
01:13:58,434 --> 01:14:03,438
"Your intensity is for shit!
Win! Win! Win!"
958
01:14:04,648 --> 01:14:06,774
You son of a bitch.
959
01:14:10,028 --> 01:14:13,531
You know, sometimes I wish
my knee would give,
960
01:14:14,616 --> 01:14:17,160
then I wouldn't be able
to wrestle anymore.
961
01:14:18,370 --> 01:14:20,872
Then he could forget all about me.
962
01:14:22,040 --> 01:14:26,419
I think your old man and my old man
should get together and go bowling.
963
01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:34,411
It's like me, you know, with my grades.
964
01:14:34,511 --> 01:14:37,331
Like when I...
When I step outside myself
965
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:40,725
and like when I look in
at myself, you know.
966
01:14:43,937 --> 01:14:46,105
And I... And I see me.
967
01:14:49,526 --> 01:14:51,527
I don't like what I see.
968
01:14:52,946 --> 01:14:54,530
I really don't.
969
01:14:55,073 --> 01:14:58,826
What's wrong with you?
Why don't you like yourself?
970
01:14:59,953 --> 01:15:02,038
Sounds stupid, but,
971
01:15:06,251 --> 01:15:08,294
because I'm failing shop.
972
01:15:09,379 --> 01:15:14,050
We had this assignment, you know,
to make this, like, ceramic elephant
973
01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:16,787
and we had eight weeks to do it.
974
01:15:16,887 --> 01:15:20,374
And then, you know, we're supposed to...
it was, like, a lamp.
975
01:15:20,474 --> 01:15:25,436
And when, you know, when you pull it,
the trunk, the light was supposed to go on.
976
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:28,773
But my light didn't go on.
977
01:15:30,025 --> 01:15:31,901
I got an F on it.
978
01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:35,613
I've never got an F in my life.
979
01:15:36,281 --> 01:15:39,435
When I signed up, you know,
for the course, I mean,
980
01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,228
I thought I was playing it
real smart, you know,
981
01:15:41,328 --> 01:15:43,021
'cause I thought,
you know, I'll take shop.
982
01:15:43,121 --> 01:15:45,941
It'll be such an easy way to maintain
my grade point average.
983
01:15:46,041 --> 01:15:48,292
Why'd you think it'd be easy?
984
01:15:50,420 --> 01:15:52,114
Have you seen some of the dopes
that take shop?
985
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:56,535
I take shop.
You must be a fucking idiot.
986
01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,203
I'm a fucking idiot
because I can't make a lamp?
987
01:15:58,303 --> 01:16:01,514
No, you're a genius
because you can't make a lamp.
988
01:16:02,391 --> 01:16:03,584
What do you know about trigonometry?
989
01:16:03,684 --> 01:16:05,878
I could care less about trigonometry.
990
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,380
Bender, did you know without trigonometry,
there'd be no engineering?
991
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:10,257
Without lamps, there'd be no light.
992
01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:14,094
Okay, so neither one of you
is any better than the other one.
993
01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:16,362
I can write with my toes.
994
01:16:17,197 --> 01:16:19,892
I can also eat, brush my teeth.
995
01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:21,325
With your feet?
996
01:16:22,786 --> 01:16:24,271
Play Heart And Soul on the piano.
997
01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:26,372
I can make spaghetti.
998
01:16:27,207 --> 01:16:28,958
What can you do?
999
01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:32,946
I can tape all of your buns together.
1000
01:16:33,046 --> 01:16:35,381
I wanna see what Claire can do.
1001
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:36,825
I can't do anything.
1002
01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:38,968
Everybody can do something.
1003
01:16:40,387 --> 01:16:42,513
There's one thing I can do.
1004
01:16:43,348 --> 01:16:44,917
No, forget it.
It's way too embarrassing.
1005
01:16:45,017 --> 01:16:46,543
You ever seen Wild Kingdom?
1006
01:16:46,643 --> 01:16:49,604
That guy's been doing
that show for 30 years.
1007
01:16:49,730 --> 01:16:51,673
Okay.
1008
01:16:51,773 --> 01:16:54,358
But you have to swear to God
you won't laugh.
1009
01:16:57,863 --> 01:16:59,363
Okay.
1010
01:17:01,533 --> 01:17:04,535
I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
1011
01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:23,888
All right. That's great!
Where'd you learn to do that?
1012
01:17:24,389 --> 01:17:26,432
Camp. Seventh grade.
1013
01:17:31,730 --> 01:17:33,689
That was great, Claire.
1014
01:17:34,858 --> 01:17:37,636
My image of you is totally blown.
1015
01:17:37,736 --> 01:17:41,515
You're a shit. Don't do that to her.
You swore to God you wouldn't laugh.
1016
01:17:41,615 --> 01:17:43,016
Am I laughing?
1017
01:17:43,116 --> 01:17:44,950
You fucking prick!
1018
01:17:47,412 --> 01:17:50,081
What do you care what I think anyway?
1019
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:53,459
I don't even count, right?
1020
01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:57,963
I could disappear forever
and it wouldn't make any difference.
1021
01:17:59,549 --> 01:18:03,886
I may as well not even exist
at this school, remember?
1022
01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:11,086
And you don't like me anyway.
1023
01:18:11,186 --> 01:18:13,463
You know, I have just
as many feelings as you do
1024
01:18:13,563 --> 01:18:15,841
and it hurts just as much
when somebody steps all over them.
1025
01:18:15,941 --> 01:18:18,135
God, you're so pathetic.
1026
01:18:18,235 --> 01:18:22,446
Don't you ever,
ever compare yourself to me, okay?
1027
01:18:23,198 --> 01:18:26,143
You got everything, and I got shit.
1028
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:28,228
Fucking Rapunzel, right?
1029
01:18:28,328 --> 01:18:31,857
School would probably shut down
if you didn't show up.
1030
01:18:31,957 --> 01:18:34,192
Queenie isn't here.
1031
01:18:34,292 --> 01:18:36,361
I like those earrings, Claire.
1032
01:18:36,461 --> 01:18:37,779
Shut up.
1033
01:18:37,879 --> 01:18:39,281
Are those real diamonds, Claire?
1034
01:18:39,381 --> 01:18:40,490
Shut up!
1035
01:18:40,590 --> 01:18:44,536
I bet they are.
Did you work for the money...
1036
01:18:44,636 --> 01:18:47,096
- Shut your mouth!
- ...for those earrings?
1037
01:18:47,222 --> 01:18:49,875
- Or did your daddy buy those for you?
- Shut up!
1038
01:18:49,975 --> 01:18:52,210
I bet he bought those for you.
1039
01:18:52,310 --> 01:18:56,063
I bet those were
a Christmas gift, right?
1040
01:18:56,481 --> 01:18:58,175
You know what I got
for Christmas this year?
1041
01:18:58,275 --> 01:19:01,136
It was a banner fucking year
at the old Bender family.
1042
01:19:01,236 --> 01:19:03,096
I got a carton of cigarettes.
1043
01:19:03,196 --> 01:19:06,808
The old man grabbed me and said,
"Hey, smoke up, Johnny."
1044
01:19:06,908 --> 01:19:10,745
Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy.
Don't cry here, okay?
1045
01:19:23,049 --> 01:19:25,760
My God, are we gonna be
like our parents?
1046
01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:27,678
Not me.
1047
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,183
Ever.
1048
01:19:34,561 --> 01:19:36,312
It's unavoidable.
1049
01:19:37,481 --> 01:19:39,106
It just happens.
1050
01:19:40,317 --> 01:19:42,067
What happens?
1051
01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:48,100
When you grow up, your heart dies.
1052
01:19:48,200 --> 01:19:49,867
Who cares?
1053
01:19:50,577 --> 01:19:52,745
I care.
1054
01:19:54,664 --> 01:19:56,832
I was just thinking, I mean,
1055
01:19:57,876 --> 01:20:01,629
I know it's kind of a weird time,
but I was just wondering,
1056
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:09,261
what is going to happen to us on Monday,
when we're all together again?
1057
01:20:10,388 --> 01:20:13,140
I mean, I consider you guys my friends.
1058
01:20:14,392 --> 01:20:16,519
I'm not wrong, am I?
1059
01:20:17,312 --> 01:20:19,063
No.
1060
01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:22,134
So... So on Monday, what happens?
1061
01:20:22,234 --> 01:20:24,568
Are we still friends, you mean?
1062
01:20:25,237 --> 01:20:26,555
If we're friends now, that is.
1063
01:20:26,655 --> 01:20:27,905
Yeah.
1064
01:20:29,199 --> 01:20:30,934
Do you want the truth?
1065
01:20:31,034 --> 01:20:32,576
Yeah, I want the truth.
1066
01:20:34,204 --> 01:20:35,871
I don't think so.
1067
01:20:37,290 --> 01:20:39,959
With all of us or just John?
1068
01:20:40,710 --> 01:20:42,320
With all of you.
1069
01:20:42,420 --> 01:20:44,156
That's a real nice attitude, Claire.
1070
01:20:44,256 --> 01:20:45,991
Oh, be honest, Andy.
1071
01:20:46,091 --> 01:20:50,553
If Brian came walking up to you in the hall
on Monday, what would you do?
1072
01:20:50,762 --> 01:20:53,874
I mean, picture this.
You're there with all the sports.
1073
01:20:53,974 --> 01:20:57,127
I know exactly what you'd do.
You'd say hi to him, and when he left
1074
01:20:57,227 --> 01:21:00,964
you'd cut him all up so your friends
wouldn't think you really liked him.
1075
01:21:01,064 --> 01:21:02,758
No way.
1076
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:04,217
Okay.
1077
01:21:04,317 --> 01:21:05,969
What if I came up to you?
1078
01:21:06,069 --> 01:21:07,929
Same exact thing.
1079
01:21:08,029 --> 01:21:10,682
You are a bitch!
1080
01:21:10,782 --> 01:21:13,310
Why, 'cause I'm telling the truth?
That makes me a bitch?
1081
01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:16,229
No, 'cause you know how shitty
that is to do to someone.
1082
01:21:16,329 --> 01:21:18,523
And you don't got the balls
to stand up to your friends
1083
01:21:18,623 --> 01:21:20,525
and tell them you're gonna like
who you wanna like.
1084
01:21:20,625 --> 01:21:22,944
Okay, what about you, you hypocrite?
1085
01:21:23,044 --> 01:21:26,406
Why don't you take Allison to one
of your heavy metal vomit parties?
1086
01:21:26,506 --> 01:21:28,909
Or take Brian out to the parking lot
at lunch to get high?
1087
01:21:29,009 --> 01:21:31,369
Or what about Andy, for that matter?
What about me?
1088
01:21:31,469 --> 01:21:34,623
What would your friends say if we
were walking down the hall together?
1089
01:21:34,723 --> 01:21:35,999
They'd laugh their asses off,
1090
01:21:36,099 --> 01:21:37,876
and you'd probably tell them
you were doing it with me
1091
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:39,336
so they'd forgive you
for being seen with me.
1092
01:21:39,436 --> 01:21:41,421
Don't you ever talk about my friends!
1093
01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:44,424
You don't know any of my friends,
you don't look at any of my friends,
1094
01:21:44,524 --> 01:21:47,719
and you certainly wouldn't condescend
to speak to any of my friends!
1095
01:21:47,819 --> 01:21:49,346
So you just stick
to the things you know,
1096
01:21:49,446 --> 01:21:53,308
shopping, nail polish,
your father's BMW, and your poor, rich,
1097
01:21:53,408 --> 01:21:55,393
- drunk mother in the Caribbean.
- Shut up!
1098
01:21:55,493 --> 01:21:57,187
As far as being concerned
about what's gonna happen
1099
01:21:57,287 --> 01:21:58,897
when you and I walk down
the hallways of school,
1100
01:21:58,997 --> 01:22:01,399
you can forget it,
'cause it's never gonna happen.
1101
01:22:01,499 --> 01:22:05,070
Just bury your head in the sand
and wait for your fucking prom!
1102
01:22:05,170 --> 01:22:06,363
I hate you!
1103
01:22:06,463 --> 01:22:08,255
Yeah? Good!
1104
01:22:14,012 --> 01:22:18,390
Okay, then I assume Allison and I
are better people than you guys, huh?
1105
01:22:18,683 --> 01:22:20,476
Us weirdoes.
1106
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:25,465
Would you... Would you do that to me?
1107
01:22:25,565 --> 01:22:27,441
I don't have any friends.
1108
01:22:29,861 --> 01:22:31,346
Well, if you did.
1109
01:22:31,446 --> 01:22:32,905
No.
1110
01:22:35,408 --> 01:22:38,452
I don't think the kind of friends
I'd have would mind.
1111
01:22:38,870 --> 01:22:43,707
Well, I just wanna tell each of you
that I wouldn't do that.
1112
01:22:44,709 --> 01:22:47,586
I wouldn't and I will not.
1113
01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:52,091
'Cause I think that's real shitty.
1114
01:22:54,344 --> 01:22:57,805
Your friends wouldn't mind
because they look up to us.
1115
01:23:00,392 --> 01:23:02,685
You're so conceited, Claire.
1116
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:05,312
You're so conceited.
1117
01:23:05,814 --> 01:23:08,300
You're so, like, full of yourself.
Why are you like that?
1118
01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:11,026
I'm not saying that to be conceited.
1119
01:23:11,736 --> 01:23:15,724
I hate it. I hate having to go along
with everything my friends say.
1120
01:23:15,824 --> 01:23:18,117
Well, then why do you do it?
1121
01:23:18,868 --> 01:23:20,869
I don't know. I don't...
1122
01:23:21,913 --> 01:23:24,415
You don't understand. You don't...
1123
01:23:25,208 --> 01:23:29,070
You're not friends with the same kind
of people that Andy and I are friends with.
1124
01:23:29,170 --> 01:23:33,757
You know, you just don't understand
the pressure that they can put on you.
1125
01:23:33,925 --> 01:23:35,911
I don't understand what?
1126
01:23:36,011 --> 01:23:39,096
You think I don't
understand pressure, Claire?
1127
01:23:39,514 --> 01:23:42,516
Well, fuck you! Fuck you!
1128
01:23:50,400 --> 01:23:52,568
You know why I'm here today?
1129
01:23:54,779 --> 01:23:56,613
Do you?
1130
01:23:59,617 --> 01:24:01,937
I'm here
1131
01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:06,874
because Mr. Ryan found a gun
in my locker.
1132
01:24:10,128 --> 01:24:12,629
Why'd you have a gun in your locker?
1133
01:24:13,089 --> 01:24:14,882
I tried.
1134
01:24:16,801 --> 01:24:22,139
When you pull the fucking trunk on it,
the light's supposed to go on.
1135
01:24:23,266 --> 01:24:25,017
It didn't go on.
1136
01:24:27,896 --> 01:24:29,381
What's the gun for, Brian?
1137
01:24:29,481 --> 01:24:30,548
Just forget it.
1138
01:24:30,648 --> 01:24:32,608
You brought it up, man.
1139
01:24:34,861 --> 01:24:36,570
I can't have an F.
1140
01:24:40,366 --> 01:24:45,287
I can't have it, and I know
my parents can't have it.
1141
01:24:48,333 --> 01:24:52,612
Even if I ace the rest of the semester,
I'm still only a B.
1142
01:24:52,712 --> 01:24:54,880
Everything's ruined for me.
1143
01:24:55,215 --> 01:24:56,715
Brian.
1144
01:24:57,175 --> 01:24:58,634
What?
1145
01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:05,891
Considering my options, you know.
1146
01:25:06,017 --> 01:25:08,003
No, killing yourself is not an option.
1147
01:25:08,103 --> 01:25:11,355
Well, I didn't do it, did I?
No, I don't think so.
1148
01:25:12,190 --> 01:25:14,233
It was a handgun?
1149
01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:18,930
No, it was a flare gun.
It went off in my locker.
1150
01:25:19,030 --> 01:25:20,697
Really?
1151
01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,618
It's not funny.
1152
01:25:39,551 --> 01:25:40,884
Yes, it is.
1153
01:25:43,680 --> 01:25:46,223
Fucking elephant was destroyed.
1154
01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:50,144
You wanna know
what I did to get in here?
1155
01:25:53,064 --> 01:25:55,065
Nothing.
1156
01:25:55,775 --> 01:25:58,402
I didn't have anything better to do.
1157
01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:06,144
You're laughing at me.
1158
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:08,495
- No!
- Yeah, you are.
1159
01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:56,061
Brian?
1160
01:27:56,312 --> 01:27:57,312
Mmm?
1161
01:27:57,855 --> 01:27:59,856
Are you gonna write your paper?
1162
01:28:00,275 --> 01:28:01,608
Yeah. Why?
1163
01:28:03,444 --> 01:28:07,432
Well, it's kind of a waste for all of us
to write our paper, don't you think?
1164
01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:09,601
Well, that's what Vernon wants us to do.
1165
01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:13,996
True. But I think we'd all
kind of say the same thing.
1166
01:28:15,081 --> 01:28:18,276
You just don't wanna
write your paper, right?
1167
01:28:18,376 --> 01:28:22,379
True, but you're the smartest, right?
1168
01:28:22,839 --> 01:28:24,339
Well...
1169
01:28:24,716 --> 01:28:26,341
We trust you.
1170
01:28:29,721 --> 01:28:31,263
Yeah.
1171
01:28:33,516 --> 01:28:37,185
All right. I'll do it.
1172
01:28:38,479 --> 01:28:39,938
Great.
1173
01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:54,411
Come on.
1174
01:28:54,912 --> 01:28:56,288
Where we going?
1175
01:28:56,706 --> 01:28:58,248
Come on.
1176
01:28:59,834 --> 01:29:01,543
Don't be afraid.
1177
01:29:03,421 --> 01:29:05,990
Don't stick that in my eye.
I'm not sticking...
1178
01:29:06,090 --> 01:29:09,760
Just close it. No, wait, wait.
Just go like... Go like that.
1179
01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:11,720
Good.
1180
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:18,503
You know, you really do look better
without all that black shit on your eyes.
1181
01:29:18,603 --> 01:29:21,855
Hey, I like that black shit.
1182
01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:24,608
This looks a lot better.
1183
01:29:24,901 --> 01:29:26,193
Look up.
1184
01:29:35,119 --> 01:29:38,538
Please. Why are you being so nice to me?
1185
01:29:40,124 --> 01:29:42,167
'Cause you're letting me.
1186
01:29:58,851 --> 01:30:00,352
You lost?
1187
01:30:52,363 --> 01:30:54,197
Thank you.
1188
01:31:02,206 --> 01:31:03,874
Why'd you do that?
1189
01:31:04,292 --> 01:31:06,209
'Cause I knew you wouldn't.
1190
01:31:07,920 --> 01:31:11,908
You know how you said before how your
parents use you to get back at each other?
1191
01:31:12,008 --> 01:31:14,926
Wouldn't I be outstanding
in that capacity?
1192
01:31:17,763 --> 01:31:21,209
Were you really disgusted
about what I did with my lipstick?
1193
01:31:21,309 --> 01:31:22,851
Truth?
1194
01:31:23,269 --> 01:31:24,895
Truth.
1195
01:31:25,521 --> 01:31:26,646
No.
1196
01:31:37,033 --> 01:31:39,326
What happened to you?
1197
01:31:39,994 --> 01:31:42,204
Why? Claire did it.
1198
01:31:47,335 --> 01:31:48,710
What's wrong?
1199
01:31:49,170 --> 01:31:50,154
Nothing's wrong.
1200
01:31:50,254 --> 01:31:54,591
It's just... You're just so different,
you know.
1201
01:31:56,427 --> 01:31:58,053
I can see your face.
1202
01:31:59,096 --> 01:32:00,805
Is that good or bad?
1203
01:32:02,058 --> 01:32:04,643
That's good.
1204
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:21,409
- See you, Brian.
- Hey, Carl.
1205
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:23,855
See you next Saturday.
1206
01:32:23,955 --> 01:32:25,413
You bet.
1207
01:34:10,686 --> 01:34:12,145
Dear Mr. Vernon.
1208
01:34:13,731 --> 01:34:16,676
We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice
a whole Saturday in detention
1209
01:34:16,776 --> 01:34:18,970
for whatever it was we did wrong
1210
01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:20,972
but we think you're crazy
to make us write an essay
1211
01:34:21,072 --> 01:34:23,057
telling you who we think we are.
1212
01:34:23,157 --> 01:34:25,434
You see us as you want to see us,
1213
01:34:25,534 --> 01:34:29,438
in the simplest terms,
with the most convenient definitions.
1214
01:34:29,538 --> 01:34:33,818
But what we found out is that
each one of us is a brain.
1215
01:34:33,918 --> 01:34:35,486
And an athlete.
1216
01:34:35,586 --> 01:34:37,655
And a basket case.
1217
01:34:37,755 --> 01:34:38,948
A princess.
1218
01:34:39,048 --> 01:34:40,783
And a criminal.
1219
01:34:40,883 --> 01:34:43,828
Does that answer your question?
1220
01:34:43,928 --> 01:34:47,263
Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club.