1
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,593
- Good morning, Chief Fromm.
- Good morning.
2
00:00:57,595 --> 00:00:59,156
- Halik.
- Yes, sir?
3
00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:04,278
I thought it over.
I'm gonna recommend you
for that promotion.
4
00:01:05,636 --> 00:01:08,805
Yes, sir.
That's very good news, sir.
5
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,808
Your record's unblemished.
You deserve it, Halik.
6
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,293
Yes, sir.
Now if you excuse me, sir,
7
00:01:14,295 --> 00:01:16,962
I have to make my daily
quota of citations, sir.
8
00:01:18,298 --> 00:01:20,066
Of course.
9
00:01:20,068 --> 00:01:22,751
- See you around, Halik.
- Have a good day, sir.
10
00:01:25,839 --> 00:01:28,174
What a tight ass.
11
00:01:38,468 --> 00:01:40,904
- What did the Chief say?
- Hmm.
12
00:01:40,906 --> 00:01:43,940
- I got my promotion.
- Good.
13
00:01:46,243 --> 00:01:48,845
By the way,
14
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,780
I got my period.
15
00:02:09,532 --> 00:02:11,334
♪ Whoo! ♪
16
00:02:14,538 --> 00:02:16,005
♪ Whoo-hoo! ♪
17
00:02:17,774 --> 00:02:20,343
- ♪ I feel good ♪
- ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪
18
00:02:20,345 --> 00:02:22,385
- ♪ I feel good... ♪
- ( Playing Harmonica )
19
00:02:23,597 --> 00:02:26,632
- Ah-hoo!
- ♪ I feel good ♪
20
00:02:26,634 --> 00:02:28,667
♪ I feel, I feel ♪
21
00:02:28,669 --> 00:02:31,420
( Harmonica Playing Continues )
22
00:02:31,422 --> 00:02:34,724
- ♪ I feel good ♪
- ♪ Whoa-oa-oa ♪
23
00:02:34,726 --> 00:02:37,393
♪ I feel, I feel good ♪
24
00:02:37,395 --> 00:02:39,878
- ♪ I feel good ♪
- ♪ I feel good ♪
25
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,582
- ♪ Knew that I would ♪
- ♪ I knew that I would, now ♪
26
00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:44,783
♪ I feel good! ♪
27
00:02:44,785 --> 00:02:47,520
- ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪
- ♪ I knew that I would ♪
28
00:02:47,522 --> 00:02:49,671
- ♪ So good, so good ♪
- ♪ So good, so good ♪
29
00:02:49,673 --> 00:02:51,840
- ♪ I have you ♪
- ♪ I have you ♪
30
00:02:53,777 --> 00:02:56,095
♪ I feel good ♪
31
00:02:56,097 --> 00:02:58,664
- ♪ I feel, I feel ♪
- ( Playing Harmonica )
32
00:02:58,666 --> 00:03:00,799
♪ I feel good,
ha-ha ♪
33
00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:03,736
♪ I feel nice ♪
34
00:03:03,738 --> 00:03:05,838
- ♪ Sugar and spice ♪
- ♪ Like sugar and spice ♪
35
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:11,127
♪ I feel nice...
sugar and spice ♪
36
00:03:11,129 --> 00:03:14,680
♪ So good, so good, I got you ♪
37
00:03:14,682 --> 00:03:16,282
( Man Laughs )
38
00:03:16,284 --> 00:03:20,119
♪ I feel good ♪
39
00:03:20,121 --> 00:03:21,954
♪ I feel good, good ♪
40
00:03:25,659 --> 00:03:27,827
♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪
41
00:03:27,829 --> 00:03:30,196
♪ You know you can't
do me no wrong ♪
42
00:03:30,198 --> 00:03:33,332
♪ When I hold you in my arms ♪
43
00:03:33,334 --> 00:03:36,386
- ♪ Your love can't
do me no harm ♪
- ( Screams )
44
00:03:36,388 --> 00:03:39,789
♪ So nice, sugar and spice ♪
45
00:03:39,791 --> 00:03:42,842
♪ I feel nice ♪
46
00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:45,395
♪ Like sugar and spice ♪
47
00:03:45,397 --> 00:03:47,546
♪ Feel good ♪
48
00:03:48,615 --> 00:03:51,317
♪ I feel good, good ♪
49
00:03:51,319 --> 00:03:54,437
♪ I feel so good,
I feel, I feel ♪
50
00:03:56,106 --> 00:03:58,741
- ♪ I feel good ♪
- ( Playing Harmonica )
51
00:03:58,743 --> 00:04:00,543
♪ Whoo! ♪
52
00:04:00,545 --> 00:04:02,811
♪ I feel so good. ♪
53
00:04:02,813 --> 00:04:05,731
- ( Sirens Blaring )
- Oh, great.
54
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:18,194
- Problem, officer?
- You littered back there.
55
00:04:18,196 --> 00:04:19,845
- I did?
- Mm-hmm.
56
00:04:19,847 --> 00:04:22,281
Oh, you mean that apple?
I can explain that.
57
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:24,783
I was driving along
and hit this bump
in the road.
58
00:04:24,785 --> 00:04:27,720
- The apple
bounced out of my hand.
- Never mind the song and dance.
59
00:04:27,722 --> 00:04:30,055
Your driver's license
and registration, please.
60
00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:33,092
Now wait a minute,
I hit this bump on the road,
the apple bounced.
61
00:04:33,094 --> 00:04:35,544
It was right in my hand.
It bounced right out
the door.
62
00:04:35,546 --> 00:04:39,115
Your driver's license
and registration, please.
63
00:04:39,117 --> 00:04:40,666
You got it.
64
00:04:45,272 --> 00:04:47,623
Let's see...
here we go.
65
00:04:49,626 --> 00:04:52,445
- What is this?
- Oh,
66
00:04:52,447 --> 00:04:54,813
that's my communist party
membership card.
67
00:04:54,815 --> 00:04:57,316
I just joined
for the softball league.
68
00:04:57,318 --> 00:04:59,585
Only team in the league
with cheerleaders.
69
00:04:59,587 --> 00:05:02,154
Big fun.
Here we go.
70
00:05:11,248 --> 00:05:12,748
- Is this you?
- Oh, yeah.
71
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:14,850
I photograph
a whole lot better
than I look.
72
00:05:14,852 --> 00:05:16,619
Hmm.
73
00:05:18,222 --> 00:05:20,156
Hmm.
74
00:05:21,725 --> 00:05:23,559
Wait a minute,
you're really serious?
75
00:05:23,561 --> 00:05:26,195
- You're really gonna
give me a ticket?
- I certainly am.
76
00:05:26,197 --> 00:05:28,431
- For an apple.
- From the looks
of this vehicle,
77
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:30,433
I'm gonna write you
several tickets.
78
00:05:30,435 --> 00:05:32,435
Several tickets?
79
00:05:32,437 --> 00:05:34,437
Look, why don't we
just make this easy?
80
00:05:34,439 --> 00:05:36,439
Why don't you just
pistol-whip me, okay?
81
00:05:36,441 --> 00:05:39,108
If you don't
keep your mouth shut,
we're gonna deliver you
82
00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:41,260
- right down
to the station-house.
- Fine.
83
00:05:41,262 --> 00:05:42,561
Anything you say, sir.
84
00:05:43,813 --> 00:05:45,247
I'm not a sir, I'm a ma'am.
85
00:05:45,249 --> 00:05:47,216
Really?
86
00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:51,053
Well, one of you should
wear a ponytail 'cause this
could get really confusing.
87
00:05:57,194 --> 00:06:00,529
- ( Snorts )
- Come on, I don't go sniffing
around your things, do I?
88
00:06:04,601 --> 00:06:06,935
- What is this powder?
- Fertilizer.
89
00:06:06,937 --> 00:06:10,105
( Retches, Spits )
90
00:06:10,107 --> 00:06:12,308
- Shit!
- Exactly.
91
00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:15,177
You're in big trouble
now, mister.
( Retches )
92
00:06:15,179 --> 00:06:17,112
Big trouble.
93
00:06:19,882 --> 00:06:22,568
Woman:
Oh, I can't believe
I'm taking up bowling.
94
00:06:22,570 --> 00:06:24,870
I've never done
any kind of sport
in my life.
95
00:06:24,872 --> 00:06:26,639
I'm sure you'll
enjoy it, ma'am.
96
00:06:26,641 --> 00:06:29,007
Here's my car.
97
00:06:29,009 --> 00:06:31,410
My doctor says I need exercise,
98
00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:34,380
but I'm sick.
"I got a bad heart,"
I says to him.
99
00:06:34,382 --> 00:06:36,665
Let me get this trunk for you.
100
00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:38,468
( Sighs ) Oh, I don't know
101
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:40,603
how I'm gonna
get these balls
out of here.
102
00:06:40,605 --> 00:06:44,006
So anyways, he thinks
I'm a hypochondriac.
( Laughs )
103
00:06:44,008 --> 00:06:47,609
Yeah, how can I be
a hypochondriac when
I'm sick all the time?
104
00:06:48,512 --> 00:06:50,513
If I die while bowling,
it's his fault.
105
00:06:50,515 --> 00:06:53,449
( Coughing )
106
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,788
Oh my god,
I'm three minutes late
for my pills!
107
00:07:02,442 --> 00:07:03,592
( Honking )
108
00:07:04,995 --> 00:07:08,164
- ( Screeching Tires )
- ( Screams )
109
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:11,100
Oh god! Am I dead?
I'm dead!
110
00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:23,246
One cantaloupe...
111
00:07:25,549 --> 00:07:26,982
$97.00
112
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,158
Jamie, come sit
on grandpa's lap.
113
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,093
( Groans )
114
00:07:38,095 --> 00:07:40,596
I think I broke it.
115
00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:42,964
- This is all I need.
- Yes, ma'am.
116
00:07:45,168 --> 00:07:47,569
( Grunts )
117
00:07:47,571 --> 00:07:51,573
Puppet ♪1:
My fine friend, it certainly
is a fine day, is it not?
118
00:07:51,575 --> 00:07:55,344
Puppet ♪2:
A fine day
in our fine kingdom.
119
00:07:55,346 --> 00:07:57,996
Puppet ♪1:
Now it is finally time
for you to die!
120
00:07:57,998 --> 00:08:01,050
- Aha-ha-ha!
- Puppet ♪2 Voice: Oh, no.
121
00:08:01,052 --> 00:08:03,553
Well, try this on
for size, Duke.
122
00:08:03,555 --> 00:08:06,238
En garde!
123
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:10,258
Puppet ♪1:
You are evil.
You must be smitten.
124
00:08:11,461 --> 00:08:13,845
Die, you Norman Pig!
125
00:08:13,847 --> 00:08:16,082
( Both Screaming )
126
00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,534
Puppet ♪1:
You Saxon Dog!
127
00:08:18,536 --> 00:08:20,969
- Puppet ♪2: Help!
- Oh, no!
128
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:23,956
- ( Groaning )
- Hey, hey.
129
00:08:23,958 --> 00:08:26,024
Hey, what the hell
are you kids doing?
130
00:08:26,026 --> 00:08:28,827
- ( Kids Cheering )
- Man: Stop shaking
this thing.
131
00:08:28,829 --> 00:08:30,296
What are you doing?
( Screams )
132
00:08:30,298 --> 00:08:33,432
Hey, stop that!
( Screaming )
133
00:08:40,190 --> 00:08:43,241
Help, somebody stop this thing!
I can't stop this thing!
134
00:08:43,243 --> 00:08:45,945
Oh my god, oh my god!
Help!
135
00:08:45,947 --> 00:08:48,747
- Oh my... help!
- ( Sirens Blaring )
136
00:08:48,749 --> 00:08:51,083
Help!
137
00:08:53,587 --> 00:08:57,055
- Was that the number 12?
- Naw, just a puppet stage.
138
00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:03,279
And Joey never hurt nobody.
139
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,214
( Woman Sobs Loudly )
140
00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:07,850
- ( Sirens Blaring )
- Help! Somebody stop
this thing!
141
00:09:07,852 --> 00:09:10,486
He was respected
by his fellow man.
142
00:09:10,488 --> 00:09:12,271
Help!
143
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,626
- Take it.
- Here we go.
144
00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:19,027
Let's get outta here.
145
00:09:26,369 --> 00:09:27,970
PA:
The white zone
146
00:09:27,971 --> 00:09:31,440
is for loading and unloading
of passengers only.
147
00:09:31,442 --> 00:09:33,909
- No parking.
- Where's the bag?!
148
00:09:33,911 --> 00:09:36,211
- Right here, ma'am.
- That's good.
149
00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:42,083
PA:
Flight 502 now loading
at gate five.
150
00:09:42,085 --> 00:09:44,420
Oh, over there.
Loretta.
151
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:47,372
Yoo-hoo, Loretta!
152
00:09:47,374 --> 00:09:49,458
Yoo-hoo, Loretta.
153
00:09:51,511 --> 00:09:56,048
- Over here, dear.
- Emma Jean, welcome home.
154
00:09:56,050 --> 00:09:59,284
Oh, you look wonderful.
155
00:09:59,286 --> 00:10:02,588
Love your tan! Yes!
( Chuckles )
156
00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:05,341
Over here.
He's a black guy.
157
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:08,010
Oh! Why, of course.
158
00:10:08,012 --> 00:10:09,912
Of course.
159
00:10:09,914 --> 00:10:13,782
Well, just put the bags
in the back seat,
please.
160
00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:15,818
Oh, I'm so glad
you're home, Emma.
161
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:19,988
- He's a black guy, you know?
- I know, but I came
to take you home.
162
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:22,107
Emma:
Let me drive.
You're as blind as a bat.
163
00:10:22,109 --> 00:10:24,977
Just don't
worry about it, okay?
Just get in the car, honey.
164
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,581
The white zone is for loading
165
00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:31,349
and unloading
of passengers only.
166
00:10:31,351 --> 00:10:33,085
No parking.
167
00:10:33,087 --> 00:10:36,689
Flight 106 now departing
at gate seven,
168
00:10:36,691 --> 00:10:39,592
immediate departure.
169
00:10:39,594 --> 00:10:42,277
Last call for flight 106,
170
00:10:42,279 --> 00:10:44,713
now leaving at gate seven.
171
00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:47,082
Oh, well, dear,
I'm glad to see you too.
172
00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:49,852
Yes, thank you, dear.
Oh, well, you've had
your hair done.
173
00:10:49,854 --> 00:10:52,904
- You look lovely.
- Loretta!
174
00:11:00,213 --> 00:11:02,147
Loretta!
175
00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:08,587
The white zone is for loading
176
00:11:08,589 --> 00:11:10,723
and unloading
of passengers only.
177
00:11:10,725 --> 00:11:12,357
- No parking.
- ( Engine Starts )
178
00:11:12,359 --> 00:11:14,192
Loretta:
My dear, are you ready?
179
00:11:14,194 --> 00:11:16,512
- Yeah.
- We'll get you home
in no time.
180
00:11:16,514 --> 00:11:19,515
- Oh, I bet you will.
- ( Screeching Tires )
181
00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:21,584
( Indistinct Conversation )
182
00:11:24,388 --> 00:11:26,121
( Conversation Continues )
183
00:11:34,531 --> 00:11:36,482
And remember
Mr. Parkins?
184
00:11:36,484 --> 00:11:38,685
The man at the butcher's shop?
185
00:11:40,236 --> 00:11:43,171
He was cutting a slice
of chuck steak or something,
186
00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:47,075
- and he cut part
of his finger off.
- Oh, that's awful.
187
00:11:47,077 --> 00:11:51,513
Loretta:
Oh, and the girls came
over last Tuesday for bridge.
188
00:11:51,515 --> 00:11:53,515
- I won 15 bucks!
- Wow.
189
00:11:53,517 --> 00:11:55,884
( Honking )
190
00:11:55,886 --> 00:12:00,055
- Damn buses,
always in the way!
- ( Honks )
191
00:12:00,057 --> 00:12:03,709
I hate driving
in this airport...
too much traffic.
192
00:12:03,711 --> 00:12:07,012
- ( Emma Groaning )
- Here we go. Come on, buddy,
193
00:12:07,014 --> 00:12:10,566
- ( Continues Groaning )
- Let's move it.
194
00:12:13,369 --> 00:12:16,038
( Continues Groaning )
195
00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:21,109
So that bingo game,
I'm telling you!
196
00:12:21,111 --> 00:12:23,646
It was a wonder...
197
00:12:34,207 --> 00:12:37,209
( Sirens Blaring )
198
00:12:37,211 --> 00:12:39,444
Oh, shit!
199
00:12:41,781 --> 00:12:44,583
( Police Radio Chatter )
200
00:12:48,338 --> 00:12:51,640
- Hey, Ernie, how is it going?
- Pretty good.
201
00:12:53,042 --> 00:12:54,976
Hank?
202
00:13:04,204 --> 00:13:07,323
Well, look who's here.
203
00:13:13,129 --> 00:13:15,297
Mr. Cannon.
204
00:13:15,299 --> 00:13:18,534
Wow, isn't this incredible?
205
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:22,204
Some higher power must really
want the three of us
to be together.
206
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:25,023
You got a car too.
Why is that?
207
00:13:26,693 --> 00:13:29,428
Halik:
You don't park any better
than you drive, do you?
208
00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:34,999
- What are you talking about?
- This car is parked in front
of a hydrant.
209
00:13:35,001 --> 00:13:37,236
Well, I can see that.
210
00:13:37,238 --> 00:13:41,206
- Now I want you
to move this car.
- Why?
211
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,243
Because you're
breaking the law.
212
00:13:44,245 --> 00:13:46,377
No, I'm not.
213
00:13:47,464 --> 00:13:49,465
Deputy Morris,
214
00:13:49,467 --> 00:13:53,035
I think this car is loaded
with violations, don't you?
215
00:13:54,104 --> 00:13:56,038
Yeah.
216
00:13:59,442 --> 00:14:01,676
Like this...
217
00:14:01,678 --> 00:14:03,612
broken taillight.
218
00:14:06,232 --> 00:14:09,768
Deputy Morris,
what about that
malfunctioning headlight?
219
00:14:15,274 --> 00:14:17,643
How do you like that?
220
00:14:17,645 --> 00:14:20,579
You guys are nutty.
221
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:24,349
I've had it with you, punk.
222
00:14:35,945 --> 00:14:39,230
( Thumping Continues )
223
00:14:49,508 --> 00:14:51,660
Gee, I just don't
understand it.
224
00:14:51,662 --> 00:14:54,096
I always loved
you guys on "Chips."
225
00:14:54,098 --> 00:14:56,281
What do you think
you're doing, Halik?
226
00:14:58,418 --> 00:15:01,252
On their behalf, sir,
may I say that this car
was evil?
227
00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:03,988
- Possessed of Satan,
it had to be dest...
- Shut up!
228
00:15:05,391 --> 00:15:07,626
Well, sir, you see,
229
00:15:07,628 --> 00:15:09,628
I asked him to move his car...
230
00:15:09,630 --> 00:15:11,630
It's not his car, Halik.
231
00:15:12,799 --> 00:15:16,067
- It's not?
- ( Silent )
232
00:15:16,069 --> 00:15:18,303
( Shouts ) It's mine!
233
00:15:18,305 --> 00:15:20,872
Yours?!
234
00:15:20,874 --> 00:15:24,543
I'll see the both of you
first thing in the morning
235
00:15:24,545 --> 00:15:26,478
in my office.
236
00:15:31,384 --> 00:15:33,385
Uh-oh.
237
00:15:33,387 --> 00:15:35,387
Sounds like trouble, kids.
238
00:15:35,389 --> 00:15:39,290
Don't worry.
Don't let it get you down.
Life goes on.
239
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:41,860
You guys will bounce back,
I can feel it.
240
00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:46,097
You're that kind of people.
Listen, I'll be seeing
you kids around.
241
00:15:46,099 --> 00:15:49,368
( Plays Funeral Dirge )
242
00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:51,953
Judge:
Because you are all
repeat offenders,
243
00:15:51,955 --> 00:15:55,657
having received many,
many violations before,
244
00:15:55,659 --> 00:15:59,878
your licenses will be
held here by the clerk
in suspension,
245
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,063
and your cars are to be kept
246
00:16:02,065 --> 00:16:04,199
in the county impound facility.
247
00:16:04,201 --> 00:16:06,969
- ( All Groan )
- ( Murmuring )
248
00:16:08,771 --> 00:16:10,939
Your honor, are you saying
249
00:16:10,941 --> 00:16:13,742
you're taking away
our licenses and
keeping our cars?
250
00:16:13,744 --> 00:16:15,693
That's exactly what I'm saying.
251
00:16:15,695 --> 00:16:17,929
- Whoa!
- Jesus.
252
00:16:17,931 --> 00:16:20,198
- Question,
your viciousness.
- Excuse me?
253
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,101
You're excused.
Um, how do we get
our cars back?
254
00:16:23,103 --> 00:16:26,688
That's very simple.
You are all sentenced
to traffic school.
255
00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:29,391
- ( All Groaning )
- After completing
the course,
256
00:16:29,393 --> 00:16:31,994
which will meet five nights
over a one-week period,
257
00:16:31,996 --> 00:16:34,796
you will receive
a certificate of competency
258
00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:37,265
and your vehicles and licenses
will be returned.
259
00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:41,102
I hit a casket
with a puppet stage.
What am I doing here?
260
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:43,572
That I would like you
to explain, your holiness.
261
00:16:43,574 --> 00:16:46,408
Quiet!
262
00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:48,476
If I may, I'd like
to approach the bench?
263
00:16:48,478 --> 00:16:50,846
- Oh, you would,
would you, mister...?
- Cannon.
264
00:16:50,848 --> 00:16:53,048
But you can call me Butch.
265
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:57,152
First, may I say that
black is a terrific color
for you, really?
266
00:16:57,154 --> 00:17:00,656
Also, may I cite the case
of Abbot versus Costello?
267
00:17:00,658 --> 00:17:03,425
- The United States versus...
- Shut up, Mr. Cannon.
268
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:07,062
Now, for all of you,
269
00:17:07,064 --> 00:17:09,064
this traffic school is
your last chance
270
00:17:09,066 --> 00:17:11,200
to retain
your driving privileges.
271
00:17:11,202 --> 00:17:14,436
Your license will be revoked.
If you cannot drive
after 30 days,
272
00:17:14,438 --> 00:17:17,206
all vehicles held
in the county impound yard
273
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:19,741
will be subject
to sale at auction
274
00:17:19,743 --> 00:17:22,944
with all proceeds
from said sale
275
00:17:22,946 --> 00:17:24,946
going to the county.
276
00:17:24,948 --> 00:17:29,218
- Court dismissed.
- ( Crowd Grumbling )
277
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:32,454
Emma:
I couldn't hear a thing.
What happened?
278
00:17:32,456 --> 00:17:34,889
I can't believe they're
gonna sell our cars.
279
00:17:34,891 --> 00:17:38,126
- How can they do this?
- When you've got balls,
anything is possible.
280
00:17:38,128 --> 00:17:40,262
You were very good in there...
281
00:17:40,264 --> 00:17:42,997
"Abbot versus
Costello."
282
00:17:42,999 --> 00:17:46,301
You obviously
have some formal
legal training.
283
00:17:46,303 --> 00:17:48,970
Yeah, well,
I've been arrested
in several states,
284
00:17:48,972 --> 00:17:52,006
so I guess
I know what I'm
talking about.
285
00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:55,526
- I'm Dana Cannon.
- Amy Hopkins.
286
00:17:55,528 --> 00:17:58,263
Well, I'll see you in class.
287
00:17:59,631 --> 00:18:02,067
Whoa, is she sexy!
288
00:18:02,069 --> 00:18:03,869
Yeah, but what are looks?
289
00:18:03,871 --> 00:18:06,738
- I mean, she's no
rocket scientist.
- I forgot my glasses.
290
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:08,706
No, no, you got 'em on.
291
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:11,243
Oh.
( Chuckles )
292
00:18:11,245 --> 00:18:13,245
Oh my god.
293
00:18:13,247 --> 00:18:14,679
Thanks.
294
00:18:14,681 --> 00:18:16,748
- Well, bye again.
- Um, listen,
295
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,750
I'm gonna be
taking a cab to the class,
296
00:18:18,752 --> 00:18:21,887
so maybe I could
pick you up or something?
297
00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:25,423
Oh no, that's all right.
I'll get somebody from work
to drop me off.
298
00:18:25,425 --> 00:18:27,792
- Oh, where do you work?
- NASA.
299
00:18:27,794 --> 00:18:29,427
I'm a rocket scientist.
300
00:18:30,496 --> 00:18:32,330
Bye.
301
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,786
( Sirens Blaring )
302
00:19:14,574 --> 00:19:16,575
Hi.
303
00:19:16,577 --> 00:19:18,510
Hi.
304
00:19:20,313 --> 00:19:23,148
Did you see "Friday the 13th"?
305
00:19:23,150 --> 00:19:25,750
No. No, I didn't.
306
00:19:27,052 --> 00:19:28,953
What about the 13th 2, 3 or 4?
307
00:19:28,955 --> 00:19:32,340
- What about 5?
- Missed them all.
308
00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:34,676
( Chuckles )
309
00:19:34,678 --> 00:19:36,678
It's too bad.
310
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,981
They were great.
311
00:19:38,983 --> 00:19:41,616
A lot of bloody gory stuff.
312
00:19:41,618 --> 00:19:44,002
Hey, uh, did you
like it more when...
313
00:19:44,004 --> 00:19:47,705
when Clint Eastwood got stuck
holding the severed arm
in "Tightrope"
314
00:19:47,707 --> 00:19:50,558
or when they cut
those guys' arms off
in "Scarf ace"?
315
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,029
Hmm, well, let's see...
316
00:19:54,031 --> 00:19:56,398
Oh, there's my bus, gotta go.
317
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,316
Nice talking to you.
318
00:20:00,653 --> 00:20:02,654
( Taps Pen on Desk )
319
00:20:02,656 --> 00:20:05,157
( Chatting )
320
00:20:06,759 --> 00:20:10,262
All right, people,
settle down. Quiet.
Find your seats, please.
321
00:20:10,264 --> 00:20:12,564
Thank you.
Cut the chatter.
322
00:20:12,566 --> 00:20:14,533
You too, Red.
323
00:20:14,535 --> 00:20:16,535
Sit down.
324
00:20:16,537 --> 00:20:20,138
I've got all your albums, man.
You're the greatest.
Good to have you on board.
325
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:23,941
Hi, how are you? Good.
Find your seats, please.
326
00:20:23,943 --> 00:20:26,244
Come on.
Okay.
327
00:20:26,246 --> 00:20:29,247
I'll be your instructor
for this evening.
Please rise.
328
00:20:29,249 --> 00:20:31,799
Come on... up, up,
up, up, everybody.
329
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:34,419
Come on, come on,
don't be afraid.
330
00:20:34,421 --> 00:20:37,622
This is gonna be fun.
You in the back,
331
00:20:37,624 --> 00:20:39,658
what, do you want
a special invitation?
332
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:44,128
- You talking to me?
- Yes, you too. Uppity-up-up-up.
333
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:46,598
Relax. Enjoy.
Thank you.
334
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,667
This is gonna be fun.
You're gonna like this!
335
00:20:48,669 --> 00:20:51,269
Come on!
All right,
everybody ready?
336
00:20:53,939 --> 00:20:57,275
And...
breathe in.
337
00:20:57,277 --> 00:20:59,911
- Blow out.
Breathe in.
- ( Door Opens )
338
00:20:59,913 --> 00:21:02,581
( Inhales ) Blow out.
339
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:04,249
( Exhales )
Very good. Shake it out.
340
00:21:04,251 --> 00:21:06,017
Settle down, shake it out,
sit down.
341
00:21:06,019 --> 00:21:08,220
Thank you, thank you.
342
00:21:08,222 --> 00:21:11,590
Now if all the ladies would
be so kind as to take off
all their clothes,
343
00:21:11,592 --> 00:21:14,492
- we could get
this class underway.
- Sit down, Mr. Cannon.
344
00:21:14,494 --> 00:21:16,694
Could it be?
345
00:21:16,696 --> 00:21:18,663
Oh, no.
346
00:21:18,665 --> 00:21:21,399
It is!
Reunited at last!
347
00:21:21,401 --> 00:21:24,736
♪ 'Cause it feels so good. ♪
348
00:21:24,738 --> 00:21:27,422
( Murmuring )
349
00:21:27,424 --> 00:21:30,925
- Sit down.
- Aren't you guys like,
in the wrong room?
350
00:21:30,927 --> 00:21:33,761
Shouldn't you be next door
at the pro acid rain rally?
351
00:21:33,763 --> 00:21:38,766
Mr. Cannon, we're your
traffic school instructors.
352
00:21:38,768 --> 00:21:42,303
- Is this an interesting
surprise or what?
- Sit down,
353
00:21:42,305 --> 00:21:45,507
before I mold your face
into an ashtray.
354
00:21:49,462 --> 00:21:52,597
See? All you had to do
was ask nicely.
355
00:21:52,599 --> 00:21:56,050
This will not be tolerated
in this classroom.
356
00:21:58,086 --> 00:22:01,156
I demand strict discipline.
357
00:22:01,158 --> 00:22:04,009
I just love it
when he gets angry
like this,
358
00:22:04,011 --> 00:22:06,912
don't you?
I thought so.
359
00:22:08,447 --> 00:22:10,032
What are these?
360
00:22:10,034 --> 00:22:11,732
I'm a single parent.
361
00:22:11,734 --> 00:22:13,734
By day, they're in school;
362
00:22:13,736 --> 00:22:16,971
At night,
there's no one
to take care of them.
363
00:22:16,973 --> 00:22:19,574
All right,
just keep them quiet.
364
00:22:19,576 --> 00:22:22,343
Now then, we will study
the following in here...
365
00:22:24,446 --> 00:22:26,381
Traffic...
366
00:22:27,550 --> 00:22:29,484
Laws.
367
00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:34,522
You will know them
letter perfect.
368
00:22:34,524 --> 00:22:36,424
You will be tested
daily on them.
369
00:22:36,426 --> 00:22:39,510
You will know everything
there is to know about a car...
370
00:22:39,512 --> 00:22:41,479
inside and out.
371
00:22:41,481 --> 00:22:43,781
You will know
the rules of the road...
372
00:22:44,917 --> 00:22:47,319
Driver courtesy...
373
00:22:47,321 --> 00:22:49,721
Will there be any like,
handy cooking tips,
374
00:22:49,723 --> 00:22:52,223
like, what
to do with those darn
holiday leftovers?
375
00:22:54,026 --> 00:22:56,027
Hank, Hank.
376
00:22:56,029 --> 00:22:57,929
No.
377
00:22:57,931 --> 00:23:00,264
Open your driving manuals
to page one.
378
00:23:00,266 --> 00:23:04,536
What is the maximum legal
speed limit in this state?
379
00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:10,475
This is
a 15-minute break.
380
00:23:10,477 --> 00:23:14,579
Hey, man,
I thought this class
was supposed to be easy.
381
00:23:14,581 --> 00:23:17,281
Well, it was,
before Adolph
and Eva took over.
382
00:23:17,283 --> 00:23:19,584
This is
a 15-minute break,
383
00:23:19,586 --> 00:23:22,053
- not one second more.
- Yes, sir.
384
00:23:24,023 --> 00:23:27,792
I'll tell ya, that sounds like
it could be your transmission
or your fuel pump,
385
00:23:27,794 --> 00:23:31,262
but we do
a complete diagnostic
checkup of your car.
386
00:23:31,264 --> 00:23:32,864
- "The Clinic."
- Yes.
387
00:23:32,866 --> 00:23:34,900
- I'll bring my Limo over.
- Ask for me.
388
00:23:34,902 --> 00:23:38,369
Everyone calls me Doc.
Stop by The Clinic
anytime.
389
00:23:38,371 --> 00:23:40,739
Excuse me, you have a clinic?
390
00:23:40,741 --> 00:23:42,741
Not just a clinic, The Clinic.
391
00:23:42,743 --> 00:23:45,109
We do the finest diagnostic
checkups in town.
392
00:23:45,111 --> 00:23:47,946
- Doc Williams
at your service.
- I would love
393
00:23:47,948 --> 00:23:50,515
- to talk to you about
this problem I'm having.
- Hmm.
394
00:23:50,517 --> 00:23:53,251
That's what I'm here for.
What seems to be
the problem?
395
00:23:53,253 --> 00:23:57,022
No matter what I do,
I just can't get going
in the morning.
396
00:23:57,024 --> 00:23:59,624
- That could be
your valves.
- Really?
397
00:23:59,626 --> 00:24:03,028
- Have you had your pump
checked lately?
- By a specialist.
398
00:24:03,030 --> 00:24:05,030
I should probably take
another look at it
399
00:24:05,032 --> 00:24:07,398
because when that goes,
you die right on the spot.
400
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,367
- Oh god, I know.
- Hmm.
401
00:24:09,369 --> 00:24:12,336
Do you ever overheat
and stall going up
steep hills?
402
00:24:12,338 --> 00:24:14,372
I don't believe so.
403
00:24:14,374 --> 00:24:16,641
You should probably
have a major overhaul,
404
00:24:16,643 --> 00:24:19,044
check everything
inside and out.
405
00:24:19,046 --> 00:24:21,580
- Do you leak much?
- Several times a day.
406
00:24:21,582 --> 00:24:23,448
Hmm, that's no good, is it?
407
00:24:23,450 --> 00:24:26,350
Every place you go, you leave
those unsightly puddles.
408
00:24:26,352 --> 00:24:30,354
Gets so your neighbors cringe
when they see you pulling
up their driveway.
409
00:24:30,356 --> 00:24:33,625
- What about your rear end?
- What about it?
410
00:24:33,627 --> 00:24:36,160
- Does your rear end
make noise?
- ( Groans )
411
00:24:36,162 --> 00:24:38,162
That's a bit personal,
isn't it?
412
00:24:38,164 --> 00:24:40,264
I'll tell you what,
I am up to here in my work
413
00:24:40,266 --> 00:24:43,602
but what I will do...
I'll lube it up.
414
00:24:43,604 --> 00:24:45,570
I'll get inside there
and root around
415
00:24:45,572 --> 00:24:47,505
and find out what
the problem is.
416
00:24:47,507 --> 00:24:50,408
I have the best tool in town.
Trust me, I'll do
a thorough job.
417
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:52,777
- Mm-hmm.
- Meanwhile, here's what
I'd like you to do...
418
00:24:52,779 --> 00:24:54,980
about an hour before you
get going in the morning,
419
00:24:54,982 --> 00:24:57,749
drain out your water,
flush it out of there
completely,
420
00:24:57,751 --> 00:25:00,819
take in a lot of oil,
then grease up that back end,
421
00:25:00,821 --> 00:25:04,555
get out on the highway
and go as fast as you
can for 9 or 10 miles.
422
00:25:04,557 --> 00:25:06,557
- Really?
- Yes.
423
00:25:06,559 --> 00:25:08,627
No... no one has
ever said this
to me before.
424
00:25:08,629 --> 00:25:10,962
As I say, I am a professional.
425
00:25:10,964 --> 00:25:13,397
I can lick any rear end problem
you can bring me.
426
00:25:13,399 --> 00:25:16,101
In fact, I do a lot
of celebrities too.
427
00:25:16,103 --> 00:25:18,837
Just last week,
I reamed out Roger Moore.
428
00:25:18,839 --> 00:25:21,305
He was totally satisfied.
As a matter of fact,
429
00:25:21,307 --> 00:25:24,342
he's coming back next weekend
for a complete rear end job.
430
00:25:24,344 --> 00:25:25,844
Oh.
431
00:25:25,846 --> 00:25:27,779
Break's over.
432
00:25:28,848 --> 00:25:31,282
Come on, let's move it, people.
433
00:25:31,284 --> 00:25:33,451
Tonight.
434
00:25:33,453 --> 00:25:35,486
You wanna pass those tests,
435
00:25:35,488 --> 00:25:38,129
get in there
and do some work.
Let's go.
436
00:25:43,763 --> 00:25:46,330
Why don't we go
someplace and talk?
437
00:25:46,332 --> 00:25:48,332
Um, yeah, I've been
thinking about it.
438
00:25:48,334 --> 00:25:51,036
- It's probably
a good idea.
- Yeah.
439
00:25:53,372 --> 00:25:55,306
( Clears Throat )
440
00:25:58,744 --> 00:26:01,746
Hey, look,
I think we got off
on the wrong foot,
441
00:26:01,748 --> 00:26:03,748
and I'm sorry.
442
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:06,871
Why don't we shake hands
and we'll wipe
the slate clean?
443
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,655
Now, look, mister...
444
00:26:10,657 --> 00:26:13,024
I'll be straight with you.
445
00:26:13,026 --> 00:26:16,661
I hate your ass.
446
00:26:16,663 --> 00:26:19,898
- Oh, come on, this has
gone too far.
- Shut up.
447
00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:22,967
I'm teaching
this shithead class
because you got me demoted.
448
00:26:22,969 --> 00:26:25,904
That's right,
you screwed up my promotion...
449
00:26:25,906 --> 00:26:27,605
My career.
450
00:26:28,908 --> 00:26:31,442
And now I'm gonna
screw things up for you.
451
00:26:32,845 --> 00:26:36,347
- Sounds fair.
- You just watch yourself.
452
00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:40,118
- ( Cracks )
- I'll crush you.
453
00:26:45,157 --> 00:26:47,158
Okay, but just as long
454
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,127
as we can still
be friends, okay?
455
00:26:53,966 --> 00:26:55,900
( Sighs )
456
00:26:59,839 --> 00:27:03,992
- Mrs. Houk?
- What's a man doing
in the ladies' room?
457
00:27:03,994 --> 00:27:06,945
- This is
the men's room.
- Oh.
458
00:27:09,048 --> 00:27:11,182
Why is my back all wet?
459
00:27:12,451 --> 00:27:14,668
Before you go home tonight,
460
00:27:14,670 --> 00:27:18,506
we're going to take a look
at a little film on traffic
safety entitled
461
00:27:18,508 --> 00:27:21,242
"Blood Flows Red
on the Highway."
462
00:27:21,244 --> 00:27:24,362
- All right!
- Halik: Deputy Morris.
463
00:27:24,364 --> 00:27:26,631
( Kids Playing )
464
00:27:28,467 --> 00:27:32,703
Narrator:
Every day millions of kids
happily go to school.
465
00:27:32,705 --> 00:27:36,574
They look forward
to another day of learning
with their friends.
466
00:27:36,576 --> 00:27:39,694
Unfortunately,
some of these kids
467
00:27:39,696 --> 00:27:42,930
will never make it
to their classrooms.
468
00:27:42,932 --> 00:27:46,700
A thoughtless motorist
who stopped for a couple
of quick drinks
469
00:27:46,702 --> 00:27:50,588
for the road will cause
a senseless tragedy.
470
00:27:50,590 --> 00:27:53,591
A tragedy that could have
been avoided
471
00:27:53,593 --> 00:27:56,294
had he used some common sense.
472
00:27:56,296 --> 00:27:58,830
But it's too late for that now.
473
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,584
( Thumps )
474
00:28:03,586 --> 00:28:06,787
- ( Laughing )
- Traffic fatalities
are increasing
475
00:28:06,789 --> 00:28:09,323
- everywhere.
- ( Audience Gagging )
476
00:28:09,325 --> 00:28:10,425
And that's why
477
00:28:10,427 --> 00:28:13,978
blood flows red on the highway.
478
00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:16,514
Here we see another accident.
479
00:28:16,516 --> 00:28:18,883
Two trucks collide
with a Toyota.
480
00:28:18,885 --> 00:28:20,785
Their passengers
thrown from the car...
481
00:28:20,787 --> 00:28:23,221
My dad's coming back
on Saturday,
482
00:28:23,223 --> 00:28:25,857
- and I gotta pick him up
in his car.
- So what?
483
00:28:25,859 --> 00:28:28,259
"So what?"
I don't have it.
It's impounded.
484
00:28:28,261 --> 00:28:30,261
A brand new Mercedes.
485
00:28:30,263 --> 00:28:33,431
My dad's gonna kill me.
He's gonna open everything
that's closed
486
00:28:33,433 --> 00:28:36,567
- and close
everything that's open.
- Don't worry so much.
487
00:28:36,569 --> 00:28:39,003
Listen, we'll go down
to the video store
488
00:28:39,005 --> 00:28:41,272
and we'll rent
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
489
00:28:41,274 --> 00:28:43,842
That will relax you.
Come on.
490
00:28:48,981 --> 00:28:50,782
Hi.
491
00:28:50,784 --> 00:28:52,049
Hi.
492
00:28:53,786 --> 00:28:55,854
- ( Sneezes )
- Oh, uh...
493
00:28:55,856 --> 00:28:58,490
- ( Woman Laughs)
- Bless you.
494
00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:04,612
Oh, sorry.
Uh...
495
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,681
This is Jo-Jo.
496
00:29:07,683 --> 00:29:09,650
I'm a puppeteer.
497
00:29:09,652 --> 00:29:13,053
Oh, I have to go.
That's my sister.
498
00:29:13,055 --> 00:29:14,989
She's a sister.
499
00:29:21,696 --> 00:29:24,599
- Oh, there's my bus.
I gotta go.
- Nonsense.
500
00:29:24,601 --> 00:29:27,768
Tonight we're
traveling in style.
Taxi!
501
00:29:27,770 --> 00:29:30,505
- ( Whistles )
- You heard her.
502
00:29:30,507 --> 00:29:32,557
- Amy: Taxi!
- Cannon: Taxi right here.
503
00:29:32,559 --> 00:29:35,192
Ho, yeah.
Step to the rear, please.
Thank you.
504
00:29:35,194 --> 00:29:37,261
- Amy: Thank you.
- Cannon: Driver, take us
505
00:29:37,263 --> 00:29:40,431
to the nearest nuclear
power plant. My pants
are full of uranium.
506
00:29:40,433 --> 00:29:42,567
- ( Cannon and Amy Laugh )
- Amy: Not bad.
507
00:29:42,569 --> 00:29:44,869
After I got my doctorate
in physics,
508
00:29:44,871 --> 00:29:49,473
I worked as a strolling
violinist in a Hungarian
restaurant for a while.
509
00:29:49,475 --> 00:29:51,475
- Cannon: Oh, come on.
- No, I really did.
510
00:29:51,477 --> 00:29:55,246
There's a lot of people
with advanced degrees that can't
get jobs in their field.
511
00:29:55,248 --> 00:29:57,982
- Cannon: Well, at least
you found your field.
- Mm-hmm.
512
00:29:57,984 --> 00:30:00,018
Cannon:
Myself, I went
to five colleges,
513
00:30:00,020 --> 00:30:02,253
changed majors seven times,
514
00:30:02,255 --> 00:30:04,889
and I had about 10 jobs
since I dropped out
of school.
515
00:30:04,891 --> 00:30:07,058
That's quite a success story.
516
00:30:07,060 --> 00:30:08,927
( Laughing )
517
00:30:16,017 --> 00:30:19,720
- ( Keys Jangling )
- Well, I have to be
at the lab early tomorrow,
518
00:30:19,722 --> 00:30:21,722
so I...
519
00:30:21,724 --> 00:30:24,725
- Oh, I forgot
where I put my keys.
- ( Jangling Continues )
520
00:30:28,297 --> 00:30:31,699
- Spaced out again?
- ( Laughs )
521
00:30:31,701 --> 00:30:34,502
- Guess so.
- Maybe.
522
00:30:41,794 --> 00:30:43,795
Well,
523
00:30:43,797 --> 00:30:45,997
I guess I'd better
make the first move.
524
00:30:58,026 --> 00:31:00,561
Now didn't that ease
the tension?
525
00:31:23,018 --> 00:31:26,453
I'm a forest ranger.
I'm just taking some work
home for the weekend.
526
00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:34,879
Hello. Just
one second here.
527
00:31:34,881 --> 00:31:38,149
Just a few more things.
528
00:31:38,151 --> 00:31:40,017
Okay, now we're on our way.
529
00:31:40,019 --> 00:31:42,954
Excuse me,
I've been doing a little
early Christmas shopping.
530
00:31:42,956 --> 00:31:46,123
Okay, people, listen up.
I'm declaring this bus
a national forest.
531
00:31:46,125 --> 00:31:48,960
Please act accordingly.
Plants coming through.
Look out...
532
00:31:48,962 --> 00:31:51,112
- Hey, hands off
the ficus, lady!
- ( Woman Groans )
533
00:31:51,114 --> 00:31:54,548
Don't grab the branches.
It could be a bird's home
someday.
534
00:31:54,550 --> 00:31:58,119
Hey, it's not an ashtray.
Plants are people too!
535
00:32:04,793 --> 00:32:07,578
Dana, I needed
that shipment from you.
536
00:32:07,580 --> 00:32:10,447
Well, some geeks took
my driver's license away.
537
00:32:10,449 --> 00:32:12,449
That's not my problem.
538
00:32:12,451 --> 00:32:16,053
Either you bring that shipment
by Friday or you can forget
the whole account.
539
00:32:16,055 --> 00:32:18,089
Well put.
Right to the point.
540
00:32:18,091 --> 00:32:21,592
And believe you me,
by this time next week,
we'll be laughing about this.
541
00:32:21,594 --> 00:32:23,227
Ha ha ha.
Great.
542
00:32:23,229 --> 00:32:26,163
( Toilet Flushing )
543
00:32:33,989 --> 00:32:37,992
Doc Williams Voice:
First thing in the morning,
flush out all the water.
544
00:32:37,994 --> 00:32:40,995
Okay, I did that.
545
00:32:40,997 --> 00:32:44,632
Then you wanna fill up
with oil at least two quarts.
546
00:32:52,073 --> 00:32:54,341
Ugh.
547
00:32:54,343 --> 00:32:56,410
Well...
548
00:32:56,412 --> 00:32:58,412
Here goes.
549
00:33:08,273 --> 00:33:11,258
( Groans )
550
00:33:11,260 --> 00:33:13,695
Next, you wanna
grease up your rear end.
551
00:33:13,697 --> 00:33:17,398
Really get a lot up there.
Smear it all around.
552
00:33:23,605 --> 00:33:26,774
Well, if it works,
553
00:33:26,776 --> 00:33:28,710
it will be worth it.
554
00:33:33,082 --> 00:33:34,832
( Honks )
555
00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:42,556
( Honks )
556
00:33:44,525 --> 00:33:48,495
Get out on the highway
and go at full speed
for about 10 miles.
557
00:33:48,497 --> 00:33:51,265
- See how it feels.
- Like shit.
558
00:33:52,834 --> 00:33:57,037
- ( Sirens Blares )
- Judge: Officer Halik, come in.
559
00:33:57,039 --> 00:34:01,075
- Sit down.
- You wanted to see me,
your honor?
560
00:34:01,077 --> 00:34:03,077
Yes, Halik.
561
00:34:03,079 --> 00:34:05,980
I have a proposition for you.
562
00:34:05,982 --> 00:34:08,582
Proposition?
563
00:34:08,584 --> 00:34:11,718
Halik, you've been screwed.
564
00:34:12,988 --> 00:34:15,123
- I have?
- Hank,
565
00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:18,159
how would you
like to be a winner
in this traffic school thing?
566
00:34:18,161 --> 00:34:21,081
Have the last
laugh on those fools
that sent you down?
567
00:34:22,564 --> 00:34:26,233
- How could I do that?
- Make the class tough,
impossible.
568
00:34:26,235 --> 00:34:28,269
Fail everyone.
569
00:34:28,271 --> 00:34:31,538
I'll order their cars sold.
We'll give half the money
to the county.
570
00:34:31,540 --> 00:34:35,009
- The rest
you split with me.
- But what if we get caught?
571
00:34:35,011 --> 00:34:37,528
( Chuckles )
Hank, since this law
went into effect,
572
00:34:37,530 --> 00:34:39,530
I control the records
of all vehicles
573
00:34:39,532 --> 00:34:42,066
ordered sold by the county.
574
00:34:42,068 --> 00:34:44,101
Take a look for yourself.
575
00:34:48,273 --> 00:34:51,676
The last instructor
retired a very wealthy man.
576
00:34:54,696 --> 00:34:56,798
What do you say...
577
00:34:57,598 --> 00:34:59,633
Hank?
578
00:35:00,936 --> 00:35:03,620
( Rock Music Playing )
579
00:35:20,422 --> 00:35:22,423
( Silent )
580
00:35:22,425 --> 00:35:25,993
♪ There's a feeling
that I sometimes get ♪
581
00:35:28,463 --> 00:35:31,782
♪ Ooh, it's not unusual ♪
582
00:35:33,585 --> 00:35:37,188
♪ For me to swing
'cause I can't see it ♪
583
00:35:39,174 --> 00:35:42,276
♪ I go sneaking down
the hallway ♪
584
00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:45,062
♪ Highway recognize ♪
585
00:35:45,064 --> 00:35:47,581
♪ Taken by a brain wave ♪
586
00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:51,602
♪ And I can't control
my drive ♪
587
00:35:51,604 --> 00:35:54,739
♪ Sometimes I break
through the wall ♪
588
00:35:54,741 --> 00:35:59,409
♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation
when I move ♪
589
00:36:01,713 --> 00:36:05,950
♪ A moving violation
when I move, watch me ♪
590
00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:10,654
♪ Losing all my patience
when I do ♪
591
00:36:10,656 --> 00:36:13,190
♪ Watch me
592
00:36:13,192 --> 00:36:16,576
- ♪ Moving violation-
lation-lation-lation. ♪
- Cannon: Good party, huh?
593
00:36:16,578 --> 00:36:20,114
You should see it
in Iran... talk about
your tough traffic laws...
594
00:36:20,116 --> 00:36:23,450
Over there,
you get a moving violation,
they take away your license
595
00:36:23,452 --> 00:36:27,221
and your hand.
Chop it right off
at the wrist.
596
00:36:27,223 --> 00:36:30,757
Wow. I gotta
get over there
to see that.
597
00:36:33,194 --> 00:36:35,429
Hank...
598
00:36:35,431 --> 00:36:38,999
You are in complete
599
00:36:39,001 --> 00:36:41,468
and total control
600
00:36:41,470 --> 00:36:43,870
of this class.
601
00:36:43,872 --> 00:36:46,106
So forceful.
602
00:36:46,108 --> 00:36:49,576
( Sighs )
I'm not wearing
any underwear.
603
00:36:55,233 --> 00:36:58,118
Leave the car in gear
604
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:00,120
with the emergency brake on,
605
00:37:00,122 --> 00:37:04,458
and you walk to the rear
of the car with your flare,
606
00:37:04,460 --> 00:37:07,361
breaking off the upper portion,
607
00:37:07,363 --> 00:37:09,730
and throwing it in the back.
608
00:37:09,732 --> 00:37:12,600
Then, you ignite your flare.
609
00:37:13,935 --> 00:37:18,905
Placing it within six feet
of the vehicle.
610
00:37:18,907 --> 00:37:22,175
Now, we'll let
one of you try it.
611
00:37:22,177 --> 00:37:24,778
( Sizzles Out )
612
00:37:24,780 --> 00:37:27,031
Mrs. Houk.
613
00:37:32,704 --> 00:37:34,271
Hmm.
614
00:37:41,113 --> 00:37:43,680
Morris:
No, Mrs. Houk,
it's the other one.
615
00:37:43,682 --> 00:37:46,317
No, don't throw it
in the trunk.
Oh my god!
616
00:37:46,319 --> 00:37:49,020
( Screams )
617
00:37:49,022 --> 00:37:53,507
- Did I do
something wrong?
- Not from where I stand.
618
00:37:55,994 --> 00:37:58,029
Stand back
while I open the hood.
619
00:37:59,797 --> 00:38:02,466
It's a big 460
with a Harley four-barrel.
620
00:38:02,468 --> 00:38:04,535
- Right. Sure.
- Halik: Now remember,
621
00:38:04,537 --> 00:38:07,371
if you're going to abandon
your car by the side
of the road,
622
00:38:07,373 --> 00:38:09,540
just lock it up
and leave it
where it stalls.
623
00:38:09,542 --> 00:38:12,809
Never... I repeat,
never try to push it
to the side of the road.
624
00:38:12,811 --> 00:38:14,845
I'll show you why.
I need a volunteer.
625
00:38:14,847 --> 00:38:17,814
Mr. Barnes,
try pushing this car
to the side of the road.
626
00:38:29,260 --> 00:38:31,595
Halik:
As you can see,
by pushing the car,
627
00:38:31,597 --> 00:38:34,231
you are in danger
of getting hit by uh...
628
00:38:34,233 --> 00:38:36,233
Hank, I need you.
There's a fire.
629
00:38:36,235 --> 00:38:37,768
- Fire?
- Fire.
630
00:38:37,770 --> 00:38:40,070
- Fire!
- Fire!
631
00:38:43,692 --> 00:38:45,325
( Chuckles )
632
00:38:46,627 --> 00:38:49,348
- Barnes: All right,
here we go. Here we...
- ( Thumps )
633
00:38:51,666 --> 00:38:53,967
Come on! Watch this.
All right, all right.
634
00:38:53,969 --> 00:38:57,270
- ( Thumps )
- ( Exhales )
635
00:38:57,272 --> 00:39:00,907
Who put on the brake?
Get out of here.
636
00:39:00,909 --> 00:39:03,443
I'll kill ya!
( Coughs )
637
00:39:03,445 --> 00:39:06,446
( Thumping )
638
00:39:06,448 --> 00:39:08,749
I got you, I got you.
639
00:39:10,518 --> 00:39:12,870
Come on.
( Groans )
640
00:39:12,872 --> 00:39:14,705
( Laughs )
641
00:39:18,810 --> 00:39:21,144
Here comes the Terminator.
642
00:39:21,146 --> 00:39:23,180
( Screams )
643
00:39:25,266 --> 00:39:28,468
Thank you.
Have a nice night.
644
00:39:32,824 --> 00:39:35,793
- ( Thumps )
- Good evening.
Can I help you?
645
00:39:36,895 --> 00:39:38,912
Good evening.
Can I help you?
646
00:39:38,914 --> 00:39:41,615
- ( Crashing )
- Can I help you?
647
00:39:41,617 --> 00:39:45,636
Good evening.
Can I help you?
648
00:39:51,292 --> 00:39:53,660
- Hi.
- Hi.
649
00:39:56,097 --> 00:39:58,065
Uh...
650
00:39:59,333 --> 00:40:01,769
Are you doing anything later?
651
00:40:01,771 --> 00:40:04,537
- Yeah, I'm going out.
- Oh.
652
00:40:04,539 --> 00:40:06,373
But you could come with me.
653
00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:08,475
How about we meet
at The Band Box?
654
00:40:08,477 --> 00:40:10,677
- On Tower?
How about 10:00?
- Sure.
655
00:40:10,679 --> 00:40:12,112
- Okay.
- Okay.
656
00:40:12,114 --> 00:40:14,181
Great, okay.
657
00:40:14,183 --> 00:40:15,816
- I'll see you later.
- Right.
658
00:40:15,818 --> 00:40:17,751
Bye-bye.
659
00:40:18,987 --> 00:40:20,954
Scott, you devil.
660
00:40:20,956 --> 00:40:24,658
- She's crazy about you.
- Really?
661
00:40:24,660 --> 00:40:27,294
No.
I got my doubts.
662
00:40:27,296 --> 00:40:29,797
What are you talking about?
Don't put yourself down.
663
00:40:29,799 --> 00:40:32,699
You're a great guy.
Go get her.
664
00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:36,170
- Trust me.
- Thanks, Dana.
665
00:40:36,172 --> 00:40:39,639
You're a pretty great guy
yourself, Dana.
666
00:40:39,641 --> 00:40:41,675
Speaking of great guys...
667
00:40:41,677 --> 00:40:43,844
Good evening, kids.
How are you?
668
00:40:45,013 --> 00:40:47,614
I'm doing a lot
better than you,
Mr. Cannon.
669
00:40:47,616 --> 00:40:50,184
I understand your business
is going down the drain.
670
00:40:50,186 --> 00:40:53,086
( Clicks Tongue ) Too bad.
671
00:40:53,088 --> 00:40:57,490
Yeah, well...
I can always get
another job.
672
00:40:57,492 --> 00:41:00,227
You on the other hand,
civil servant,
673
00:41:00,229 --> 00:41:03,730
are stuck in this shitty
nowhere traffic school
for the rest of your life.
674
00:41:03,732 --> 00:41:05,632
Forever.
675
00:41:06,801 --> 00:41:08,735
I am sick of you,
Mr. Cannon.
676
00:41:08,737 --> 00:41:11,097
Fine. Why don't you do
something about it?
677
00:41:12,941 --> 00:41:15,309
I'm off-duty.
678
00:41:15,311 --> 00:41:18,045
Why don't we just
step right over here
and settle this?
679
00:41:18,047 --> 00:41:19,980
Fine, right now.
680
00:41:23,051 --> 00:41:26,320
Dana, why did
you get him going?
He's going to kill you.
681
00:41:26,322 --> 00:41:28,822
Yeah, I might've gone too far.
682
00:41:28,824 --> 00:41:31,892
- What are you gonna do?
- Let's find out.
683
00:41:36,982 --> 00:41:39,984
- Over here, Cannon.
- Cannon: Oh, excellent choice.
684
00:41:42,353 --> 00:41:45,422
So, what's gonna be?
685
00:41:45,424 --> 00:41:47,858
Boxing?
686
00:41:47,860 --> 00:41:49,793
Karate?
687
00:41:50,996 --> 00:41:52,663
Wrestling?
688
00:41:52,665 --> 00:41:56,767
- Are you kidding?
Look, wimp...
- Amy: Oh, Jesus.
689
00:41:56,769 --> 00:41:59,770
You come on like
this big macho strongman.
690
00:41:59,772 --> 00:42:02,506
How about
a real test of strength?
691
00:42:02,508 --> 00:42:04,675
How about arm wrestling?
692
00:42:04,677 --> 00:42:07,127
( Chuckles )
693
00:42:07,129 --> 00:42:09,530
Sounds great.
I better warn you, Cannon,
694
00:42:09,532 --> 00:42:12,265
I happen to be
western division
arm wrestling champion,
695
00:42:12,267 --> 00:42:15,002
so don't be
surprised when I break
your arm in two.
696
00:42:15,004 --> 00:42:18,271
Sounds fun.
Come on, dickhead.
697
00:42:33,838 --> 00:42:35,773
( Cracking )
698
00:42:44,516 --> 00:42:47,150
Spence, can you call it?
699
00:42:47,152 --> 00:42:48,885
Okay, on three.
700
00:42:48,887 --> 00:42:52,505
One, two...
701
00:42:54,408 --> 00:42:57,010
- ( Kisses )
- Three.
702
00:42:57,012 --> 00:42:59,913
( Cheering )
703
00:43:34,515 --> 00:43:36,700
- Halik!
- Chief!
704
00:43:38,436 --> 00:43:41,021
Whoopsy.
705
00:44:03,744 --> 00:44:06,913
Scott, Scott.
706
00:44:08,516 --> 00:44:11,551
Stephanie... hi.
707
00:44:13,454 --> 00:44:15,389
Hi.
708
00:44:18,192 --> 00:44:21,328
- What happened
to your hair?
- This is my hair?
709
00:44:21,330 --> 00:44:23,863
I just wear a wig a lot.
710
00:44:23,865 --> 00:44:26,066
It looks terrific...
711
00:44:26,068 --> 00:44:28,335
Really, terrific.
712
00:44:29,437 --> 00:44:32,539
Hey, do you like cars
as much as I do?
713
00:44:32,541 --> 00:44:35,475
Sure, probably more.
714
00:44:35,477 --> 00:44:38,278
You know what I love to do?
715
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,680
I love to drive fast.
716
00:44:42,250 --> 00:44:44,284
Uh, I don't have a license.
717
00:44:44,286 --> 00:44:46,886
We could get into big trouble.
718
00:44:46,888 --> 00:44:48,855
Scott,
719
00:44:48,857 --> 00:44:50,823
when I drive fast,
720
00:44:50,825 --> 00:44:53,427
I get very hot...
721
00:44:53,429 --> 00:44:55,429
So very, very hot.
722
00:44:55,431 --> 00:44:57,164
Let's go.
723
00:44:57,166 --> 00:44:59,166
♪ One foot on the brake ♪
724
00:44:59,168 --> 00:45:01,268
♪ And one on the gas,
hey! ♪
725
00:45:06,240 --> 00:45:07,507
Faster, Scott.
726
00:45:07,509 --> 00:45:09,909
♪ Well, there's
too much traffic ♪
727
00:45:09,911 --> 00:45:13,146
♪ I can't pass, no... ♪
728
00:45:13,148 --> 00:45:15,748
Faster, Scott, it turns me on.
729
00:45:15,750 --> 00:45:18,785
♪ So I try my best
illegal move ♪
730
00:45:18,787 --> 00:45:20,853
♪ A big
black and white... ♪
731
00:45:20,855 --> 00:45:24,257
Go all the way, Scott!
Floor it, floor it!
732
00:45:24,259 --> 00:45:26,626
Go faster, Scott!
733
00:45:26,628 --> 00:45:29,112
♪ Go on and write me up
for 125 ♪
734
00:45:29,114 --> 00:45:32,182
- ♪ Post my face,
wanted dead or alive... ♪
- ( Stephanie Laughs )
735
00:45:32,184 --> 00:45:35,118
Whoa, whoa-oa!
( Laughing )
736
00:45:37,188 --> 00:45:40,557
- Stephanie: Stop here!
- ( Tires Screech )
737
00:45:40,559 --> 00:45:44,060
This is where I live.
I gotta go.
738
00:45:51,102 --> 00:45:54,004
Hey, uh...
you forgot your keys.
739
00:45:56,056 --> 00:45:59,092
It's not my car.
I don't know whose car it is.
740
00:46:01,695 --> 00:46:03,630
Oh, shit!
741
00:46:10,871 --> 00:46:13,507
- Amy: Welcome to NASA.
- Cannon: Great.
742
00:46:13,509 --> 00:46:15,609
- So this is where you work?
- That's right.
743
00:46:15,611 --> 00:46:18,645
I grew up in a place
that looks just like this.
744
00:46:18,647 --> 00:46:20,647
Now, Dana,
don't fool around
in here.
745
00:46:20,649 --> 00:46:24,151
- This is a serious place.
- Thanks, Dr. Hopkins.
746
00:46:24,153 --> 00:46:26,986
So these are the readouts
for all the space probes
747
00:46:26,988 --> 00:46:30,624
which are currently orbiting.
That's the Voyager project.
748
00:46:30,626 --> 00:46:34,361
That's Viking, that's Pioneer,
749
00:46:34,363 --> 00:46:36,596
and that's
the Russian's Lunakhod.
750
00:46:36,598 --> 00:46:38,998
Oh, the bad guys, huh?
751
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:41,000
We'll get them.
752
00:46:41,002 --> 00:46:43,336
( Fast Beeps )
753
00:46:43,338 --> 00:46:45,539
( Beeps Slow, Speed Up )
754
00:46:47,091 --> 00:46:50,243
Don't mind me, fellas.
You guys are doing
a terrific job, really.
755
00:46:50,245 --> 00:46:53,313
- Keep up the good work.
Enjoy, enjoy.
- ( Sighs )
756
00:46:54,615 --> 00:46:56,549
Hmm.
757
00:47:01,856 --> 00:47:04,524
You are really
an aggressive woman.
758
00:47:04,526 --> 00:47:06,886
- Come on.
- Oh, my favorite
two words.
759
00:47:12,216 --> 00:47:15,185
- Cannon: So I have
a question.
- Mm-hmm.
760
00:47:15,187 --> 00:47:17,821
- Why are we here?
- Because...
761
00:47:17,823 --> 00:47:19,823
of this.
762
00:47:22,426 --> 00:47:24,494
( Beeps )
763
00:47:24,496 --> 00:47:26,429
( Pressure Released )
764
00:47:31,102 --> 00:47:34,204
This?
Could be different.
765
00:47:41,445 --> 00:47:44,447
- Up, up and away.
- ( Laughs )
766
00:47:44,449 --> 00:47:47,249
Whoa, yeah,
now I know how
a racquetball feels.
767
00:47:48,352 --> 00:47:50,621
Yeah! Yeehaw!
768
00:47:50,623 --> 00:47:54,524
Too much fun.
This is a good way to keep
your socks up, you know?
769
00:47:54,526 --> 00:47:55,959
( Humming )
770
00:47:55,961 --> 00:47:59,329
♪ I feel nice ♪ ( Hums )
771
00:47:59,331 --> 00:48:01,098
♪ Sugar and spice now... ♪
772
00:48:01,100 --> 00:48:02,465
- ( Humming )
- Come here, Dana.
773
00:48:02,467 --> 00:48:05,468
Dana, come here now.
774
00:48:05,470 --> 00:48:08,438
This feels great.
Now what?
775
00:48:17,148 --> 00:48:19,750
Well, I always say,
776
00:48:19,752 --> 00:48:21,985
"If you make love
for the first time,
777
00:48:21,987 --> 00:48:25,188
you should at least
make it interesting."
778
00:48:25,190 --> 00:48:27,124
I'm for that.
779
00:48:39,771 --> 00:48:42,706
( Amy Giggling )
780
00:48:53,250 --> 00:48:55,802
Halik: Tonight,
781
00:48:55,804 --> 00:48:59,339
we get behind the wheel
of a car and test you
on the fundamentals
782
00:48:59,341 --> 00:49:02,275
- of driving.
- First group,
Houk, Cannon,
783
00:49:02,277 --> 00:49:04,544
Barnes, Roth, and Hopkins.
784
00:49:04,546 --> 00:49:07,013
Mrs. Houk,
you drive.
785
00:49:07,015 --> 00:49:10,016
Where's the car?
786
00:49:10,018 --> 00:49:12,018
Oh, god, we're dead.
787
00:49:12,020 --> 00:49:13,787
Right this way, Mrs. Houk.
788
00:49:13,789 --> 00:49:16,289
( Engine Revving )
789
00:49:16,291 --> 00:49:20,126
- Dad, are we there yet?
I'm hungry.
- Shut up!
790
00:49:21,329 --> 00:49:23,229
Halik:
Take a right here,
Mrs. Houk.
791
00:49:23,231 --> 00:49:26,700
- ( Ringing )
- Halik: Stop the car,
Mrs. Houk.
792
00:49:26,702 --> 00:49:29,619
- I hear bells.
- Mrs. Houk!
793
00:49:29,621 --> 00:49:31,788
You hear bells?
794
00:49:31,790 --> 00:49:35,141
- Halik: Shit, hit the brake!
- ( Train Horn Blaring )
795
00:49:37,378 --> 00:49:39,779
Barnes:
The train is coming!
796
00:49:39,781 --> 00:49:41,748
Start the car,
Mrs. Houk.
797
00:49:43,484 --> 00:49:45,719
( Engine Cranks )
798
00:49:45,721 --> 00:49:48,421
You know what a train does
when it hits the body?
799
00:49:48,423 --> 00:49:51,725
- Cannon: Start this car!
- ( Engine Cranks )
800
00:49:51,727 --> 00:49:53,944
( Honking )
801
00:49:53,946 --> 00:49:57,563
- Cannon: Everybody
get out of the car!
- Amy: Get out, get out.
802
00:50:04,905 --> 00:50:08,325
( Engine Cranks )
803
00:50:08,327 --> 00:50:10,477
Mrs. Houk!
804
00:50:10,479 --> 00:50:13,179
Get out!
Get out of the car!
805
00:50:13,181 --> 00:50:15,281
- Where is everyone?
- Damn, it's locked!
806
00:50:15,283 --> 00:50:17,084
Come on, come on,
we gotta push.
807
00:50:21,922 --> 00:50:24,557
( Train Honking )
808
00:50:27,060 --> 00:50:30,781
- Would you get
over here and push?
- Oh, man.
809
00:50:37,538 --> 00:50:40,940
Oh, we're gonna be splattered!
810
00:50:58,542 --> 00:51:02,145
Cannon:
Honey, are you okay?
God, that scared me!
811
00:51:02,147 --> 00:51:05,215
( Honking )
812
00:51:09,804 --> 00:51:12,289
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
813
00:51:12,291 --> 00:51:14,057
Ho!
814
00:51:24,101 --> 00:51:26,336
It's like I always say,
815
00:51:26,338 --> 00:51:28,638
"When the going gets tough,
816
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,841
the tough get going
in their pants."
817
00:51:33,093 --> 00:51:37,196
Go ahead and laugh.
None of you are gonna finish
traffic school anyway.
818
00:51:37,198 --> 00:51:40,333
You're gonna all fail.
And I guarantee you
819
00:51:40,335 --> 00:51:43,870
none of you will ever
see your cars again.
820
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,641
Jeez.
821
00:51:48,643 --> 00:51:52,178
What am I gonna do?
My dad is gonna
kill me.
822
00:51:52,180 --> 00:51:55,181
With the debts I've got,
dying sounds pretty good
right now.
823
00:51:57,651 --> 00:52:00,686
Hey, would you two burly
fellas care to join me
824
00:52:00,688 --> 00:52:02,755
in a desperate mission
a little bit later?
825
00:52:02,757 --> 00:52:05,797
Sure.
Will there be
bloodshed?
826
00:52:12,850 --> 00:52:15,051
Shh.
827
00:52:15,903 --> 00:52:18,838
( Distant Barking )
828
00:52:20,308 --> 00:52:22,241
- ( Screams )
- ( Chainsaw Buzzing )
829
00:52:25,746 --> 00:52:28,281
( Chainsaw Idles )
830
00:52:28,283 --> 00:52:30,550
Hey, guys, it's me.
831
00:52:32,019 --> 00:52:34,253
Hey, man,
you almost gave me
a heart attack.
832
00:52:34,255 --> 00:52:36,189
Great!
833
00:52:38,508 --> 00:52:42,344
Wink, do me a favor...
Try to be an actual person
in the next five minutes, okay?
834
00:52:51,288 --> 00:52:54,174
- Cannon: This ain't
gonna be easy.
- Barnes: Relax,
835
00:52:54,176 --> 00:52:56,710
I got it covered.
836
00:53:04,117 --> 00:53:07,053
( Sizzling )
837
00:53:12,643 --> 00:53:15,277
I made this stuff at home.
838
00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:18,615
Works pretty good, huh?
839
00:53:18,617 --> 00:53:21,467
Very nice, very nice.
840
00:53:21,469 --> 00:53:24,337
Um, time to get going,
wouldn't you say?
841
00:53:25,873 --> 00:53:27,807
Cannon:
There we go.
842
00:53:30,410 --> 00:53:33,346
( Growling )
843
00:53:42,189 --> 00:53:45,108
- Uh-oh.
- ( Barking )
844
00:53:46,210 --> 00:53:48,144
I'll save you, here I come.
845
00:53:49,980 --> 00:53:53,082
- ( Chainsaw Roars )
- Yeehaw!
846
00:53:54,385 --> 00:53:56,752
( Barking )
847
00:53:56,754 --> 00:53:58,388
( Barnes Screams )
848
00:53:59,856 --> 00:54:01,790
( Roth Screaming )
849
00:54:06,463 --> 00:54:08,423
Come on.
Let's get our cars.
850
00:54:19,627 --> 00:54:21,628
- Is that your truck?
- No.
851
00:54:21,630 --> 00:54:23,563
Let's try down here.
852
00:54:27,935 --> 00:54:29,869
Cannon:
Shit.
853
00:54:35,309 --> 00:54:37,911
- Who is it?
- I know exactly
who it is.
854
00:54:37,913 --> 00:54:40,747
It's that pain in the butt,
Dana Cannon.
855
00:54:44,952 --> 00:54:46,869
( Barking Continues )
856
00:54:48,756 --> 00:54:50,723
- I can't find my Limo.
- Halik!
857
00:54:50,725 --> 00:54:51,991
Christ.
858
00:54:51,993 --> 00:54:53,676
( Barking )
859
00:55:05,756 --> 00:55:08,037
Fierce, this is
just like "Cujo," man.
860
00:55:09,392 --> 00:55:11,894
- Come on, come get us!
- There's my truck.
861
00:55:17,935 --> 00:55:19,702
( Engine Starts )
862
00:55:29,429 --> 00:55:33,333
( Meows, Hisses )
863
00:55:35,302 --> 00:55:38,404
( Growls )
Oh, tear your heart out.
864
00:55:42,776 --> 00:55:44,210
So long.
865
00:55:45,379 --> 00:55:47,363
( Dog Cries )
866
00:55:52,068 --> 00:55:54,903
( Growling )
867
00:56:04,248 --> 00:56:07,183
( Barking )
868
00:56:11,505 --> 00:56:14,741
- I'll have Cannon
picked up within the hour.
- I'll take care of him.
869
00:56:15,843 --> 00:56:18,044
I'll really take care of him.
870
00:56:41,385 --> 00:56:43,386
Hey, come back here.
871
00:56:43,388 --> 00:56:46,989
We just stole
that thing
ourselves.
872
00:56:48,576 --> 00:56:50,477
Shit.
873
00:57:01,205 --> 00:57:04,240
Dana Cannon,
you're in big trouble now.
874
00:57:08,512 --> 00:57:11,814
All right, all the money
in the till, come on!
875
00:57:11,816 --> 00:57:13,582
Move it!
876
00:57:16,703 --> 00:57:19,272
( Knocking )
877
00:57:24,645 --> 00:57:27,697
- What?
- ( Knocking Continues )
878
00:57:27,699 --> 00:57:29,265
Yeah?
879
00:57:30,967 --> 00:57:32,918
- Freeze, mister.
- If this is about the rent,
880
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,155
the check's in the mail,
I swear to god.
881
00:57:35,157 --> 00:57:37,390
- Is that your truck?
- Yeah.
882
00:57:37,392 --> 00:57:40,126
- Where did
you find it? Great.
- You're under arrest.
883
00:57:40,128 --> 00:57:42,028
Judge:
Because this was
an armed robbery
884
00:57:42,030 --> 00:57:44,347
and the defendant
has appeared before me
previously...
885
00:57:44,349 --> 00:57:47,183
- Your honor, I was framed.
- Quiet!
886
00:57:47,185 --> 00:57:50,053
I'm going to set bail
at $10,000.
887
00:57:50,055 --> 00:57:53,071
- Great.
Do you take Visa?
- The court is in recess.
888
00:57:53,073 --> 00:57:55,007
( Murmuring )
889
00:57:57,177 --> 00:57:59,244
Was I strict enough?
890
00:57:59,246 --> 00:58:02,848
Oh, yes, very.
891
00:58:06,820 --> 00:58:08,421
( Halik Moans )
892
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,829
Judge:
Hank, I want to
show you something.
893
00:58:16,831 --> 00:58:19,832
I've computed our take
from the sale of the cars.
894
00:58:19,834 --> 00:58:23,869
It comes to over $50,000.
895
00:58:23,871 --> 00:58:25,421
Nedra...
896
00:58:26,657 --> 00:58:28,758
You've changed my whole life.
897
00:58:30,126 --> 00:58:33,329
You've taught me
a whole new way
of looking at the law.
898
00:58:33,331 --> 00:58:35,531
Well, let's go over
to your place.
899
00:58:35,533 --> 00:58:38,853
I'll show you a whole
new way of looking
at my body.
900
00:58:45,542 --> 00:58:48,177
Oh, I hope this is
the right place.
901
00:58:48,179 --> 00:58:50,619
Oh, yes, The Clinic.
902
00:58:54,884 --> 00:58:57,587
I have an appointment
with Doc Williams.
903
00:58:57,589 --> 00:59:00,423
Ah, Joan,
right on time.
I love punctuality.
904
00:59:00,425 --> 00:59:03,843
Why don't you come this way?
I am a little harried
right now.
905
00:59:03,845 --> 00:59:06,144
I'll tell you,
why don't you wait
in my office?
906
00:59:06,146 --> 00:59:08,647
I think you'll be
a bit more comfortable
in here.
907
00:59:08,649 --> 00:59:10,315
Okay.
908
00:59:11,985 --> 00:59:14,887
And we'll get
to that examination
in a couple of minutes.
909
00:59:14,889 --> 00:59:17,723
I am dying to get
at your rear end.
910
00:59:17,725 --> 00:59:20,192
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
911
00:59:20,194 --> 00:59:23,562
She's ready to go,
Mr. Kolonawski, and purring
like a kitten.
912
00:59:23,564 --> 00:59:25,564
And I'll see you
back here in 6,000 miles,
913
00:59:25,566 --> 00:59:27,533
not a mile over.
914
00:59:27,535 --> 00:59:30,969
- Carl, want to
back it out for Mr. K?
- ( Engine Starts )
915
00:59:33,957 --> 00:59:36,058
Okay, Joan, I'm
ready for you now.
916
00:59:36,060 --> 00:59:38,194
All right, Doc.
917
00:59:38,196 --> 00:59:40,796
- Let's go take a look
at it, shall we?
- Hmm.
918
00:59:40,798 --> 00:59:42,998
Follow me, please.
919
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,535
Doc, shouldn't I
be wearing a gown?
920
00:59:45,537 --> 00:59:48,904
No, don't be silly,
we're not that formal
around here.
921
00:59:48,906 --> 00:59:50,839
What the heck?
922
00:59:53,177 --> 00:59:54,977
- All right, Joan...
- ( Phone Rings )
923
00:59:54,979 --> 00:59:56,879
Excuse me.
924
00:59:56,881 --> 00:59:59,782
Hello, The Clinic.
Yes, Mr. Armistead.
925
00:59:59,784 --> 01:00:01,784
Yes, sir, could you hold
a second, please?
926
01:00:01,786 --> 01:00:03,852
Uh, Joan, why don't you
get it up on that rack
927
01:00:03,854 --> 01:00:05,988
and give me a holler
as soon as you're ready?
928
01:00:05,990 --> 01:00:07,956
Yes, Mr. Armistead.
929
01:00:07,958 --> 01:00:10,193
I see.
Well, that's
the same problem
930
01:00:10,195 --> 01:00:12,662
- we had in the past,
isn't it, sir?
- ( Whimpers )
931
01:00:12,664 --> 01:00:14,397
Is there a constant vibration?
932
01:00:14,399 --> 01:00:17,215
Joan:
God, there's
so many doctors in here!
933
01:00:17,217 --> 01:00:19,785
What's this?
"Gas analysis"?
934
01:00:19,787 --> 01:00:21,887
- Gosh!
- Doc: What I'd like
to do is bring it in
935
01:00:21,889 --> 01:00:24,424
- as soon as possible
and let's recheck it.
- ( Groans )
936
01:00:24,426 --> 01:00:26,693
No, I want you
to bring it in
immediately, sir.
937
01:00:26,695 --> 01:00:29,696
Let's nip this
in the bud.
That's my motto.
938
01:00:29,698 --> 01:00:31,297
How does your week look?
939
01:00:31,299 --> 01:00:34,066
- Thursday's impossible.
How about Friday...
- ( Groans )
940
01:00:34,068 --> 01:00:36,602
- at 2:30 p.m.?
- All right, Doc,
I'm ready.
941
01:00:36,604 --> 01:00:40,906
- Roger?
- ( Joan Whimpering )
942
01:00:40,908 --> 01:00:42,608
You can?
943
01:00:42,610 --> 01:00:45,043
Fine.
I'll see you
at 2:30...
944
01:00:45,045 --> 01:00:46,345
on Friday.
945
01:00:46,347 --> 01:00:49,014
- So long, Mr. Armistead.
- ( Whimpering )
946
01:00:50,567 --> 01:00:53,402
Ah, will you two guys
please check out
that rear end?
947
01:00:54,938 --> 01:00:56,939
( Joan Squeals )
948
01:00:56,941 --> 01:00:59,792
- Man: Okay, so now what?
- ( Joan Groaning )
949
01:01:02,162 --> 01:01:03,596
( Clangs )
950
01:01:12,439 --> 01:01:14,039
Hey, kids.
951
01:01:15,325 --> 01:01:17,710
- Look at this.
- ( Both Scream )
952
01:01:17,712 --> 01:01:19,579
Hey, come on,
come on, come on.
All right, all right,
953
01:01:19,581 --> 01:01:22,164
it's just a fake...
Oh no, it's not.
954
01:01:25,686 --> 01:01:28,921
Wink, would you
leave my kids alone?
955
01:01:34,961 --> 01:01:36,962
Okay, now then,
956
01:01:36,964 --> 01:01:39,131
for five points, true or false?
957
01:01:39,133 --> 01:01:41,601
You may make a u-turn
958
01:01:41,603 --> 01:01:44,036
in-between intersections
of a business district.
959
01:01:45,239 --> 01:01:47,139
- False.
- That's absolutely right.
960
01:01:47,141 --> 01:01:49,242
Congratulations.
Now...
961
01:01:50,744 --> 01:01:52,745
What's going on with you kids?
962
01:01:52,747 --> 01:01:56,549
Yeah, nice accessories...
matching, no less!
963
01:01:56,551 --> 01:01:58,984
How MTV of you kids.
964
01:01:58,986 --> 01:02:01,354
So this is serious kinda, huh?
965
01:02:01,356 --> 01:02:03,822
It's just not fair
we have to study
this hard.
966
01:02:03,824 --> 01:02:06,158
You think it was
fair I greased up
my ass every day
967
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:08,561
and you had
Manny, Moe and Jack
looking up it?
968
01:02:08,563 --> 01:02:11,297
You feel better, don't you?
969
01:02:11,299 --> 01:02:13,048
Why do I find
all this intriguing?
970
01:02:13,050 --> 01:02:16,451
- Dana, we've been
at this for hours.
- Yeah, we can pass that test.
971
01:02:16,453 --> 01:02:20,623
Look, I lost a $20,000 account.
972
01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:23,091
I'm facing 10 to 20 years
973
01:02:23,093 --> 01:02:26,128
on a major felony.
If I'm gonna head
up the river,
974
01:02:26,130 --> 01:02:28,898
I wanna drive myself
up the river, all right?
975
01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:31,667
You with me?
976
01:02:31,669 --> 01:02:34,503
- All: Yeah.
- Okay, I knew I could
talk you into it.
977
01:02:34,505 --> 01:02:37,573
Now then,
when entering
an intersection...
978
01:02:37,575 --> 01:02:39,725
Williams, pass.
979
01:02:39,727 --> 01:02:43,695
Roth, pass.
Mccarty, pass.
980
01:02:43,697 --> 01:02:46,432
Hopkins, pass.
981
01:02:46,434 --> 01:02:48,968
Popadophalos, pass.
982
01:02:48,970 --> 01:02:50,619
Cannon...
983
01:02:53,256 --> 01:02:56,509
- Pass.
- All right!
984
01:02:56,511 --> 01:02:58,577
- We all made it!
- Hey!
985
01:03:00,514 --> 01:03:03,349
That's the good news.
The bad news is,
986
01:03:03,351 --> 01:03:05,584
these written tests
987
01:03:05,586 --> 01:03:08,354
count only 5% of your grades.
988
01:03:08,356 --> 01:03:10,589
What?
You gotta
be kidding.
989
01:03:10,591 --> 01:03:14,393
You mean we have to take
another test before we can
get our certificate?
990
01:03:14,395 --> 01:03:16,228
That's right, Ms. Hopkins.
991
01:03:16,230 --> 01:03:19,498
So if you'll all follow me
into the parking lot,
992
01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:22,335
we'll have
your driving skill tests.
993
01:03:22,337 --> 01:03:24,503
( Grumbling )
994
01:03:28,007 --> 01:03:31,109
Hey, what's the matter, baby?
995
01:03:31,111 --> 01:03:33,746
Why so cold?
996
01:03:33,748 --> 01:03:35,681
Nothing.
997
01:03:39,953 --> 01:03:42,788
Barnes:
Oh, come on,
is he kidding?!
998
01:03:42,790 --> 01:03:44,623
Cannon:
Is this amusing
or what?
999
01:03:44,625 --> 01:03:46,792
Morris:
The objective
of this test is to stay
1000
01:03:46,794 --> 01:03:48,794
within the white painted lines
1001
01:03:48,796 --> 01:03:50,796
regardless of the obstacles
in your path
1002
01:03:50,798 --> 01:03:54,132
or the conditions of the road.
Let's begin with Mr. Greeber.
1003
01:03:54,134 --> 01:03:56,836
Go get 'em, Scotty.
1004
01:03:56,838 --> 01:03:59,338
- Man: Do it, Scotty.
- Man ♪2: All right, Greeber.
1005
01:04:15,889 --> 01:04:19,107
( Screeching Tires )
1006
01:04:21,144 --> 01:04:22,895
( All Groan )
1007
01:04:26,933 --> 01:04:28,868
( Screeching Tires )
1008
01:04:32,406 --> 01:04:35,107
( Screeching Tires )
1009
01:04:35,109 --> 01:04:37,209
That son of a bitch.
1010
01:04:47,453 --> 01:04:51,690
- It's a mess.
- He'll never be able
to make it.
1011
01:04:51,692 --> 01:04:54,610
- None of them will.
- ( Screeching Tires )
1012
01:04:59,966 --> 01:05:01,734
( Screaming )
1013
01:05:26,609 --> 01:05:28,777
So, how did I do?
1014
01:05:45,128 --> 01:05:48,364
- Popadophalos:
Didn't do so hot.
- Cannon: How about we all fail?
1015
01:05:48,366 --> 01:05:50,866
Looks like we're never
gonna drive again.
1016
01:05:50,868 --> 01:05:53,568
I don't believe it.
That's it.
1017
01:05:53,570 --> 01:05:55,938
My dad's coming
back in town tomorrow.
1018
01:05:55,940 --> 01:05:59,641
- I'm dead.
- Too bad, tough break.
1019
01:05:59,643 --> 01:06:02,884
If I were you,
I'd get used to
public transportation.
1020
01:06:14,607 --> 01:06:17,042
Doc:
I'm in the car business
and I can't drive.
1021
01:06:19,679 --> 01:06:22,848
We're screwed.
We got shafted.
1022
01:06:22,850 --> 01:06:27,219
- My dad is gonna kill me.
- Not if we get to him first.
1023
01:06:27,221 --> 01:06:30,388
Scott:
Let's face it, we're
never gonna drive again.
1024
01:06:30,390 --> 01:06:33,458
Wait a minute here.
I can't believe I'm
hearing this.
1025
01:06:33,460 --> 01:06:35,894
You think we're finished,
1026
01:06:35,896 --> 01:06:37,896
Washed up, history?
1027
01:06:37,898 --> 01:06:42,434
Well, I've got news
for you, it's not over
till it's over.
1028
01:06:42,436 --> 01:06:46,021
Look at Michael Jackson...
his hair caught on fire.
1029
01:06:46,023 --> 01:06:47,856
Did he give up?
No.
1030
01:06:47,858 --> 01:06:50,525
He called the fire department
and went on a "Victory" tour.
1031
01:06:51,928 --> 01:06:54,763
All right.
Now instead of pissing
and moaning
1032
01:06:54,765 --> 01:06:57,066
about how bad off we are,
1033
01:06:57,068 --> 01:06:59,068
let's zero in on the guy
1034
01:06:59,070 --> 01:07:01,370
who made sure
we'd never drive again.
1035
01:07:01,372 --> 01:07:03,973
Let's get the guy
who screwed us.
1036
01:07:03,975 --> 01:07:06,575
- Let's get Halik.
- Yeah, fuck him!
1037
01:07:08,078 --> 01:07:10,646
Rip his nuts off!
( Burps )
1038
01:07:10,648 --> 01:07:13,649
All right, I think
she had enough to drink.
But she's right.
1039
01:07:13,651 --> 01:07:16,168
Let's get some beers.
Let's go get him!
1040
01:07:16,170 --> 01:07:17,502
- Come on!
- All: Yeah!
1041
01:07:17,504 --> 01:07:19,004
- Right now!
- Man: Yeah!
1042
01:07:19,006 --> 01:07:21,706
Now this I like.
First we kill him,
1043
01:07:21,708 --> 01:07:24,109
- then cut his face off.
- Wink, you're a sick man,
1044
01:07:24,111 --> 01:07:25,610
- trust me on that.
- Oh, come on.
1045
01:07:25,612 --> 01:07:27,445
Doc, can I have
a word with you?
1046
01:07:29,648 --> 01:07:32,117
Nedra:
Come on, ride me, daddy.
1047
01:07:32,119 --> 01:07:34,119
I'll be right there,
your honor.
1048
01:07:34,121 --> 01:07:36,054
( Moans )
1049
01:07:37,556 --> 01:07:40,192
- ( Nedra Moans )
- ( Halik Laughs )
1050
01:07:40,194 --> 01:07:43,112
( Both Moaning )
1051
01:07:46,116 --> 01:07:48,750
Oh, man!
1052
01:07:48,752 --> 01:07:52,654
This has totally
ruined sex for me
for the rest of my life.
1053
01:07:54,424 --> 01:07:56,425
- Doc, you got the tools?
- Right here.
1054
01:07:56,427 --> 01:07:58,227
Let's go.
1055
01:08:01,564 --> 01:08:03,499
- Did you see anybody?
- I don't know.
1056
01:08:03,501 --> 01:08:04,733
Good.
1057
01:08:05,868 --> 01:08:07,669
( Loretta Burps )
1058
01:08:18,181 --> 01:08:21,116
( Groans ) Move over, buddy.
1059
01:08:21,118 --> 01:08:23,152
Yeah, that's the one
I want, right there.
1060
01:08:23,154 --> 01:08:25,688
That's it. Yeah,
give that another turn.
1061
01:08:25,690 --> 01:08:28,323
( Moaning )
1062
01:08:28,325 --> 01:08:30,258
( Tool Clangs )
1063
01:08:32,062 --> 01:08:34,496
- What's that noise?
- I don't hear anything.
1064
01:08:34,498 --> 01:08:36,665
- Now get back to work.
- ( Grunts )
1065
01:08:36,667 --> 01:08:39,668
( Moaning )
1066
01:08:39,670 --> 01:08:41,937
( Rock Music Playing )
1067
01:08:41,939 --> 01:08:43,706
Do you like it?
1068
01:08:47,510 --> 01:08:49,812
- Yeah.
- ( Laughs ) I'm glad.
1069
01:08:51,181 --> 01:08:53,115
Come to bed, honey.
1070
01:08:55,051 --> 01:08:58,203
♪ Every boy's got one
hiding in the dark ♪
1071
01:08:58,205 --> 01:09:01,473
♪ Every boy's got one,
it's my favorite part ♪
1072
01:09:01,475 --> 01:09:03,908
♪ Every boy's got one,
give it to me... ♪
1073
01:09:03,910 --> 01:09:06,878
- Man: Stephanie?
- Oh no, my father!
1074
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:08,880
I didn't expect him home
so soon.
1075
01:09:08,882 --> 01:09:11,566
- Your father?
- Yeah. If he finds you
in bed with me,
1076
01:09:11,568 --> 01:09:13,736
he'll kill you.
1077
01:09:19,576 --> 01:09:21,610
I'm only 15.
1078
01:09:24,364 --> 01:09:27,366
Hurry up!
My father will kill you.
1079
01:09:27,368 --> 01:09:29,434
He's an animal.
He's a teamster.
1080
01:09:29,436 --> 01:09:31,970
How could you be 15?
You've got a driver's
license.
1081
01:09:31,972 --> 01:09:34,906
Fake I.D...
I've been driving
since I've been 12.
1082
01:09:34,908 --> 01:09:38,244
Stephanie's father:
Where's daddy's girl?
In your room?
1083
01:09:42,749 --> 01:09:45,768
- Stephie...
- Hi, daddy.
1084
01:09:48,788 --> 01:09:51,290
- Who the...
- I didn't know she...
1085
01:09:51,292 --> 01:09:53,859
You?
I will kill you!
1086
01:09:53,861 --> 01:09:57,363
Oh, god. Oh, gee.
Oh, god. Oh my god!
1087
01:09:59,465 --> 01:10:01,233
- Oh god.
- You're dead!
1088
01:10:01,235 --> 01:10:03,916
Stephanie:
Scott, I'll
call you later.
1089
01:10:06,272 --> 01:10:08,913
Doc:
That's it.
Let's get out of here.
1090
01:10:18,952 --> 01:10:21,269
- What are you doing?
- ( Moans )
1091
01:10:21,271 --> 01:10:23,972
- Are you gonna
be a good boy?
- Yes, mommy. Yes.
1092
01:10:23,974 --> 01:10:27,709
- ( Nedra Shouting )
- What the...
1093
01:10:27,711 --> 01:10:29,728
Move, move.
1094
01:10:29,730 --> 01:10:32,264
- This ought to be good.
Stay tuned.
- ( Moaning )
1095
01:10:32,266 --> 01:10:35,300
- Come on.
- ( Moaning Continues )
1096
01:10:41,274 --> 01:10:43,175
Bastard!
1097
01:10:44,244 --> 01:10:46,684
See that ledger
on the nightstand?
1098
01:10:49,632 --> 01:10:53,234
- Uh, yeah.
- Come here.
1099
01:10:56,222 --> 01:10:59,424
They were gonna sell
your cars and split
the money.
1100
01:10:59,426 --> 01:11:02,261
Whip me till it hurts.
I knew something weird
was going on.
1101
01:11:02,263 --> 01:11:04,830
- Halik: Yes, mommy!
- That ledger tells everything.
1102
01:11:04,832 --> 01:11:08,767
Now get it to Chief Fromm
down at city hall and he'll
take care of them.
1103
01:11:08,769 --> 01:11:11,804
Well, thanks.
You know, I have
a sense about people,
1104
01:11:11,806 --> 01:11:14,572
and I felt all along
that you were decent
and kind.
1105
01:11:14,574 --> 01:11:16,842
- Shove it, dipshit.
- ( Halik Barking )
1106
01:11:16,844 --> 01:11:19,178
And merry Christmas
to you too, Santa.
1107
01:11:23,016 --> 01:11:25,918
Can't go this way.
Let's go.
1108
01:11:27,586 --> 01:11:30,055
Come on, let's go.
1109
01:11:30,057 --> 01:11:32,724
- ( Whip Slapping )
- Nedra: No, sit, no!
1110
01:11:32,726 --> 01:11:36,061
- This is the only one open.
- Yeah, but who could
fit in here?
1111
01:11:47,373 --> 01:11:50,108
( Nedra Screaming, Laughing )
1112
01:11:52,045 --> 01:11:54,146
( Thumps )
1113
01:12:01,020 --> 01:12:02,738
- ( Loretta Screams )
- ( Nedra Moans Louder )
1114
01:12:02,740 --> 01:12:05,757
- Nedra: Oh, yeah.
- ( Halik Moaning )
1115
01:12:08,744 --> 01:12:10,845
- Halik: Oh, honey, yeah.
- ( Nedra Moaning )
1116
01:12:10,847 --> 01:12:13,781
- Halik: Yeah, yeah.
- ( Both Moaning )
1117
01:12:17,620 --> 01:12:19,921
I just hope Houk's on the pill.
1118
01:12:21,257 --> 01:12:23,337
Nedra:
Oh, yes!
1119
01:12:25,061 --> 01:12:28,246
( Nedra Laughing )
1120
01:12:28,248 --> 01:12:30,115
She's got it.
Let's go.
1121
01:12:30,117 --> 01:12:32,066
- Nedra: Yeah. Oh, press it.
- ( Door Thumps )
1122
01:12:33,936 --> 01:12:36,371
- Who the hell was that?
- I don't know.
1123
01:12:36,373 --> 01:12:39,007
But she's got the ledger.
1124
01:12:46,415 --> 01:12:48,150
- ( Screams )
- You bastard.
1125
01:12:48,152 --> 01:12:49,651
- Now, sugar...
- Don't sugar me.
1126
01:12:49,653 --> 01:12:51,486
Dana Cannon's on his way
to Chief Fromm
1127
01:12:51,488 --> 01:12:53,655
to tell him about your
little scheme.
1128
01:12:53,657 --> 01:12:56,457
- Morris, you're a cop.
How could you do this?
- You bitch.
1129
01:13:01,981 --> 01:13:03,949
( Engine Starts )
1130
01:13:03,951 --> 01:13:06,919
- ( Screeching Tires )
- Shit!
1131
01:13:06,921 --> 01:13:09,454
- Wait for me.
- ( Morris Grunting )
1132
01:13:09,456 --> 01:13:12,324
( Nedra Screaming )
1133
01:13:16,862 --> 01:13:20,132
That's it!
1134
01:13:23,186 --> 01:13:25,487
( Both Screaming )
1135
01:13:35,448 --> 01:13:37,833
( Groans )
1136
01:13:37,835 --> 01:13:39,934
I would have come out to you.
1137
01:13:41,270 --> 01:13:42,737
Dumb thing.
1138
01:13:42,739 --> 01:13:46,241
- Nedra: Yeah!
- Halik: Come on.
1139
01:13:46,243 --> 01:13:49,711
The damned thing,
it only goes in reverse!
1140
01:13:49,713 --> 01:13:52,347
- Oh, screw it!
- ( Screeching Tires )
1141
01:14:02,108 --> 01:14:05,010
( Both Women Screaming )
1142
01:14:05,012 --> 01:14:06,828
( Screams )
Dana, look out.
It's Halik.
1143
01:14:06,830 --> 01:14:10,082
( Screeching Tires )
1144
01:14:10,084 --> 01:14:12,884
( Growls )
1145
01:14:22,194 --> 01:14:25,395
Virginia, get down.
I told you to stop it,
Virginia.
1146
01:14:31,921 --> 01:14:34,456
So long, sucker.
1147
01:14:36,909 --> 01:14:39,944
Cannon:
Oh, what the hell is this?
1148
01:14:39,946 --> 01:14:43,015
- ( March Playing )
- Cannon: A parade?
1149
01:14:43,017 --> 01:14:44,215
Come on, let's go.
1150
01:14:45,901 --> 01:14:48,136
- Popadophalos: A parade!
- Amy: It's Halik!
1151
01:14:48,138 --> 01:14:50,305
- ( Screeching Tires )
- Doc: Oh no, come on!
1152
01:14:52,207 --> 01:14:55,093
Get out of the car.
Come on! Would you please
stop fighting?
1153
01:14:55,095 --> 01:14:57,095
We've gotta
catch Cannon, come on!
1154
01:14:57,097 --> 01:14:59,631
Amy:
Excuse me, excuse me.
1155
01:14:59,633 --> 01:15:02,401
- Cannon: Whoa, look out.
- Amy: Sorry.
1156
01:15:02,403 --> 01:15:04,552
Amy:
Are we following Dana?
1157
01:15:04,554 --> 01:15:06,054
Right here.
Get in here.
1158
01:15:06,056 --> 01:15:08,456
- Get in.
- Oh!
1159
01:15:08,458 --> 01:15:11,426
Out of my way!
Move, move, move!
1160
01:15:11,428 --> 01:15:12,760
( Honks )
1161
01:15:16,465 --> 01:15:18,517
We need a vehicle!
Get on that float!
1162
01:15:18,519 --> 01:15:20,519
Hurry up.
Get up!
1163
01:15:20,521 --> 01:15:24,005
- Up! Up! Move!
- ( Women Scream )
1164
01:15:24,007 --> 01:15:26,624
- ( Screeching Tires )
- ( Cheering )
1165
01:15:28,911 --> 01:15:32,447
- Doc: There's Halik.
- All right, come on,
Dana, let's go.
1166
01:15:36,202 --> 01:15:39,971
- ( Screeching Tires )
- Nedra: Get away from me,
you frigging clown!
1167
01:15:39,973 --> 01:15:41,707
You frigging mouse.
1168
01:15:41,709 --> 01:15:44,109
Get your hands off me,
you frigging duck.
1169
01:15:44,860 --> 01:15:47,462
Oh, here comes the campaign.
1170
01:15:47,464 --> 01:15:50,315
( Sirens Blaring )
1171
01:15:50,317 --> 01:15:52,417
- ( Screeching Tires )
- Whoa!
1172
01:15:56,689 --> 01:15:58,123
Oh, shit!
1173
01:15:58,125 --> 01:16:00,725
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1174
01:16:04,314 --> 01:16:06,481
- Is this the right color?
- Yeah?
1175
01:16:06,483 --> 01:16:08,850
Great.
Come on.
1176
01:16:08,852 --> 01:16:12,321
- Are you sure about this?
- Hey, it's the only way.
Come on.
1177
01:16:14,757 --> 01:16:16,692
Right this way, miss.
1178
01:16:18,894 --> 01:16:22,364
- Don't I get a ticket?
- No, that's all right.
There's no tickets today.
1179
01:16:22,366 --> 01:16:24,299
( Screeching Tires )
1180
01:16:28,137 --> 01:16:30,939
Okay, we gotta
get this car back.
They'll be done in an hour.
1181
01:16:30,941 --> 01:16:34,343
- No sweat, man.
- There's my dad.
Over there.
1182
01:16:34,345 --> 01:16:37,645
Hi, dad. Good to see you.
Let's get you home.
1183
01:16:37,647 --> 01:16:40,248
Wait a...
Why are we rushing?
1184
01:16:40,250 --> 01:16:44,085
Roth:
Hey, don't
worry about it.
1185
01:16:45,187 --> 01:16:47,556
- Screw it.
- Roth: Let's go.
1186
01:16:49,525 --> 01:16:51,860
- Jeff, who is this?
- Don't worry about it.
1187
01:16:56,932 --> 01:17:00,669
- Oh, crap, roadblock.
- ( Sirens Blaring )
1188
01:17:02,705 --> 01:17:04,639
They went in there.
Turn! Get them.
1189
01:17:11,513 --> 01:17:14,482
I give up.
Please, me too.
1190
01:17:14,484 --> 01:17:17,786
Somebody take me, yeah.
Somebody take me, please.
1191
01:17:17,788 --> 01:17:21,222
- Somebody take me. I give up.
- Nedra: Oh, ooh, ooh.
1192
01:17:30,916 --> 01:17:33,184
Cannon:
No, no, no.
This way.
1193
01:17:33,186 --> 01:17:35,053
Let's talk
about some real weapons.
1194
01:17:35,055 --> 01:17:39,107
Swat teams all over the nation
call it the k-gun,
or kill gun.
1195
01:17:39,109 --> 01:17:41,592
It's capable of firing
40 rounds in three seconds...
1196
01:17:43,162 --> 01:17:45,096
- Ho!
- This way.
1197
01:17:46,165 --> 01:17:47,899
This way.
Come on, come on.
1198
01:17:47,901 --> 01:17:50,201
- ( Nedra Groans )
- Come on, here.
1199
01:17:50,203 --> 01:17:52,254
It can cut
a man in half in two,
1200
01:17:52,256 --> 01:17:55,924
ruin his whole weekend.
And it's great in crowds.
1201
01:18:01,030 --> 01:18:04,499
- How about this for laughs?
- They got us.
1202
01:18:04,501 --> 01:18:07,302
They don't know us.
Act nonchalant.
1203
01:18:07,304 --> 01:18:10,571
Hello, I'm officer Stephens,
Puerto Rican highway patrol.
1204
01:18:10,573 --> 01:18:12,841
Buenas noches.
How have you been?
Good to see you.
1205
01:18:12,843 --> 01:18:15,310
Nice uniform.
You know, we should
get some of these.
1206
01:18:15,312 --> 01:18:17,779
- I'm gonna
mention it to the Chief.
- Halik: Stop that man.
1207
01:18:17,781 --> 01:18:19,380
He's wanted.
1208
01:18:21,083 --> 01:18:23,618
I'm not as happy
as I should be.
1209
01:18:23,620 --> 01:18:25,454
Follow me!
1210
01:18:30,442 --> 01:18:33,261
Hey, hey!
1211
01:18:33,263 --> 01:18:35,664
Don't shoot me, I give up.
1212
01:18:35,666 --> 01:18:39,434
- Get them, get them.
- Don't shoot me,
I give up.
1213
01:18:39,436 --> 01:18:43,037
- Come on.
- Don't shoot!
1214
01:18:46,325 --> 01:18:49,294
Get him! Oh, when I
get my hands on him
1215
01:18:49,296 --> 01:18:51,596
I'm gonna rip
you a new one, Cannon!
1216
01:18:51,598 --> 01:18:53,565
Get that guy.
Come on!
1217
01:18:55,667 --> 01:18:57,135
Ready?
1218
01:18:57,137 --> 01:19:00,221
- Whoa.
- ( Starting Gun Fires )
1219
01:19:03,058 --> 01:19:05,159
( Screaming )
1220
01:19:13,285 --> 01:19:15,854
- Oh, god.
- I'm gonna rip you apart!
1221
01:19:19,876 --> 01:19:21,476
- Stop so I can I'll kill you.
- You gotta help me.
1222
01:19:21,478 --> 01:19:25,079
I gotta a few
problems of my own
right now, Tiger.
1223
01:19:26,048 --> 01:19:29,050
( Screeching Tires )
1224
01:19:29,052 --> 01:19:32,687
Mr. Roth:
Listen, you've got a lot
of explaining to do...
1225
01:19:32,689 --> 01:19:34,122
- Okay.
- What the...
1226
01:19:34,124 --> 01:19:36,290
- Good to have you home.
- What...?
1227
01:19:36,292 --> 01:19:37,659
What?
1228
01:19:37,661 --> 01:19:39,728
Hey, who...
who in the hell is this guy?
1229
01:19:39,730 --> 01:19:41,863
- Who's this guy?
- Roth: Let's go, Wink.
1230
01:19:41,865 --> 01:19:45,000
- Hey, Jeff...
- ( Screeching Tires )
1231
01:19:47,603 --> 01:19:49,838
( Siren Blaring )
1232
01:19:51,007 --> 01:19:52,274
Oh god.
1233
01:19:54,576 --> 01:19:57,112
I wonder if he'll shoot our
tires or aim for our heads.
1234
01:20:03,735 --> 01:20:07,205
I'm in pursuit
of a Mercedes 500-SEL,
1235
01:20:07,207 --> 01:20:10,074
License plate 2GB 485.
1236
01:20:10,076 --> 01:20:11,976
Request assistance.
1237
01:20:20,652 --> 01:20:22,787
That's what's great
about this force.
1238
01:20:22,789 --> 01:20:24,789
You ask for help
and you get it.
1239
01:20:26,208 --> 01:20:28,288
They got a whole army after us.
1240
01:20:30,579 --> 01:20:32,647
( Laughs )
I can just feel it, man.
1241
01:20:32,649 --> 01:20:34,649
There's gonna be
a shoot-out now.
1242
01:20:34,651 --> 01:20:38,219
Car owner:
Perfect timing.
1243
01:20:38,221 --> 01:20:40,588
All right, lady.
Come here, come here.
1244
01:20:40,590 --> 01:20:42,924
Get in there, okay.
Relax yourself.
Good.
1245
01:20:42,926 --> 01:20:46,361
- Have a nice day.
So long. Bye.
- We did it.
1246
01:20:47,863 --> 01:20:50,698
- What's happening?
- You know, I was just
asking everyone,
1247
01:20:50,700 --> 01:20:53,034
"Where the hell
are Jeff and Wink?"
1248
01:20:53,036 --> 01:20:55,886
- ( Siren Blaring )
- Halik: Hurry up,
hurry up!
1249
01:21:07,950 --> 01:21:11,252
Come on, get them...
Virginia!
1250
01:21:11,254 --> 01:21:16,040
- I'm gonna kill you, witch!
- Screw off, you slut.
1251
01:21:17,159 --> 01:21:18,627
Come here!
1252
01:21:24,816 --> 01:21:26,317
This way.
1253
01:21:32,624 --> 01:21:34,743
That's him.
That's the guy.
1254
01:21:37,246 --> 01:21:39,213
- In here!
- Do you have
an appointment?
1255
01:21:39,215 --> 01:21:41,215
Do you have an appointment?
Do you have...?
1256
01:21:41,217 --> 01:21:43,518
You have an appointment?!
Do you have an appointment?
1257
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:46,800
Do you have an appointment?
Do you have an...? Do you have
an appointment?
1258
01:21:47,640 --> 01:21:50,525
Sir, I got something here
you should read.
1259
01:21:50,527 --> 01:21:53,662
I'll call you back.
Some people just came
into my office.
1260
01:21:53,664 --> 01:21:56,297
- ( All Panting )
- See, right...
1261
01:21:58,250 --> 01:22:00,535
- Nedra: Get off!
- This ledger contains
officer Halik
1262
01:22:00,537 --> 01:22:02,837
and Judge Henderson's plan
to bilk the citizens
1263
01:22:02,839 --> 01:22:04,873
and the city
of thousands of dollars.
1264
01:22:04,875 --> 01:22:07,742
That's a lie.
This man is accused
of armed robbery.
1265
01:22:07,744 --> 01:22:09,594
- That's the fatigue jacket
the hold-up man wore.
- What?!
1266
01:22:09,596 --> 01:22:11,095
I remember the insignia.
1267
01:22:11,097 --> 01:22:13,264
- I'm positive.
This is the man.
- That's a lie.
1268
01:22:13,266 --> 01:22:14,999
- That's a lie, sir.
- Arrest this man.
1269
01:22:15,001 --> 01:22:16,701
( Crying ) No, no, no.
1270
01:22:16,703 --> 01:22:19,223
Judge Henderson, you have
a lot of explaining to do.
1271
01:22:20,822 --> 01:22:24,041
How about a little
strip search, and we'll
call this whole thing even?
1272
01:22:24,043 --> 01:22:26,044
- Arrest her!
- I'm innocent.
1273
01:22:26,046 --> 01:22:27,845
I'm innocent, sir!
Tell him, Nedra!
1274
01:22:27,847 --> 01:22:30,514
- Tell him!
- Shut up. I've got enough
problems of my own.
1275
01:22:30,516 --> 01:22:32,383
How about a little
dinner and some eating?
1276
01:22:32,385 --> 01:22:35,320
How about a little
"Hide the nightstick"?
How about...
1277
01:22:35,322 --> 01:22:38,073
It is a great pleasure
to present each of you
with a certificate,
1278
01:22:38,075 --> 01:22:40,608
which certifies
you've completed
your course
1279
01:22:40,610 --> 01:22:42,610
of driver's education
traffic school.
1280
01:22:42,612 --> 01:22:45,780
- Congratulations.
- All: Yeah!
1281
01:22:47,450 --> 01:22:49,684
Amy:
Thank you.
1282
01:22:49,686 --> 01:22:51,686
People, just a little reminder,
1283
01:22:51,688 --> 01:22:54,622
there'll be
a post-graduation party
at my place tonight.
1284
01:22:54,624 --> 01:22:56,991
I expect you all there
promptly at 8:00.
1285
01:22:56,993 --> 01:23:00,628
Dressed as your favorite
biblical character.
Thank you.
1286
01:23:00,630 --> 01:23:02,930
- Woman: This is great.
- Man: That's good.
1287
01:23:04,800 --> 01:23:07,235
So now that we've graduated,
1288
01:23:07,237 --> 01:23:09,237
will I ever see you again?
1289
01:23:09,239 --> 01:23:11,672
I think so.
I'm moving in
with you.
1290
01:23:11,674 --> 01:23:13,908
- ( Chuckles )
Oh, you are?
- Mm-hmm.
1291
01:23:13,910 --> 01:23:16,510
That's right.
So why don't you
just follow me
1292
01:23:16,512 --> 01:23:19,714
in your truck to my place
so we can pick up my things?
1293
01:23:26,021 --> 01:23:28,856
So maybe we could stop
at the space lab
1294
01:23:28,858 --> 01:23:31,326
and go for a little twirl?
1295
01:23:32,694 --> 01:23:35,130
( Door Opens )
1296
01:23:35,132 --> 01:23:37,482
All right, Emma Jean,
let's get going.
1297
01:23:37,484 --> 01:23:40,651
- Let me drive, Loretta.
- Why should I let
you drive?
1298
01:23:40,653 --> 01:23:43,388
- Because you
can't see a thing.
- Don't be silly,
1299
01:23:43,390 --> 01:23:45,723
I can see as well as you can.
1300
01:23:55,867 --> 01:23:58,803
( Rock Music Playing )
1301
01:24:22,461 --> 01:24:25,647
♪ There's a feeling
that I sometimes get ♪
1302
01:24:28,317 --> 01:24:31,769
♪ Ooh, it's not unusual ♪
1303
01:24:33,589 --> 01:24:36,791
♪ For me to swing
'cause I can't see it ♪
1304
01:24:39,127 --> 01:24:42,197
♪ I go sneaking
down the hallway ♪
1305
01:24:42,199 --> 01:24:44,782
♪ Highway recognize ♪
1306
01:24:44,784 --> 01:24:46,551
♪ Taken by a brain wave ♪
1307
01:24:46,553 --> 01:24:49,820
♪ And I can't control
my drive ♪
1308
01:24:51,207 --> 01:24:54,943
♪ Sometimes I break
through the wall ♪
1309
01:24:54,945 --> 01:24:59,613
♪ Oh, I'm on moving violation
when I move ♪
1310
01:25:01,283 --> 01:25:04,986
♪ A moving violation
when I move ♪
1311
01:25:04,988 --> 01:25:07,021
♪ Watch me! ♪
1312
01:25:07,023 --> 01:25:10,458
♪ Losing all my patience
when I do ♪
1313
01:25:10,460 --> 01:25:12,193
♪ Watch me! ♪
1314
01:25:12,195 --> 01:25:16,064
♪ A moving violation-
lation-lation-lation ♪
1315
01:25:27,126 --> 01:25:30,628
♪ There's a feeling
that I can't pull back ♪
1316
01:25:32,965 --> 01:25:35,934
♪ I can't sit
and I can't stand ♪
1317
01:25:38,204 --> 01:25:41,239
♪ And the things I want,
I just go get ♪
1318
01:25:43,709 --> 01:25:46,110
♪ Oh, it's a combination ♪
1319
01:25:46,112 --> 01:25:49,180
♪ Of a voracious appetite ♪
1320
01:25:49,182 --> 01:25:51,950
♪ But knowing the sensation ♪
1321
01:25:51,952 --> 01:25:55,720
♪ Won't stop the urge to bite ♪
1322
01:25:55,722 --> 01:25:59,557
♪ Sometimes I just do it all ♪
1323
01:25:59,559 --> 01:26:04,295
♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation
when I move ♪
1324
01:26:06,131 --> 01:26:09,533
♪ A moving violation
when I move ♪
1325
01:26:09,535 --> 01:26:11,435
♪ Watch me! ♪
1326
01:26:11,437 --> 01:26:15,006
♪ Pure acceleration
when I choose ♪
1327
01:26:15,008 --> 01:26:17,175
♪ Watch me! ♪
1328
01:26:17,177 --> 01:26:21,812
♪ A moving violation-
lation-lation-lation ♪
1329
01:26:32,691 --> 01:26:37,095
♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪
1330
01:26:38,364 --> 01:26:43,301
♪ I can't help but fantasize ♪
1331
01:26:43,303 --> 01:26:45,937
♪ I must need it way too much ♪
1332
01:26:45,939 --> 01:26:48,539
♪ It's the reason
to get touched ♪
1333
01:26:48,541 --> 01:26:53,711
♪ But I come down
just to get up ♪
1334
01:26:53,713 --> 01:26:57,015
( Vocalizing )
1335
01:27:03,055 --> 01:27:06,925
♪ Sometimes I just do it all ♪
1336
01:27:06,927 --> 01:27:11,495
♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation
when I move ♪
1337
01:27:13,532 --> 01:27:16,968
♪ A moving violation
when I move ♪
1338
01:27:16,970 --> 01:27:18,937
♪ Watch me! ♪
1339
01:27:18,939 --> 01:27:22,473
♪ Pure acceleration
when I choose ♪
1340
01:27:22,475 --> 01:27:24,575
♪ Watch me! ♪
1341
01:27:24,577 --> 01:27:28,446
♪ A moving violation-
lation-lation-lation ♪
1342
01:27:40,192 --> 01:27:44,595
♪ Sometimes I wonder why ♪
1343
01:27:45,864 --> 01:27:50,801
♪ I can't help but fantasize ♪
1344
01:27:50,803 --> 01:27:53,438
♪ I must need it way too much ♪
1345
01:27:53,440 --> 01:27:56,040
♪ It's the reason
to get touched ♪
1346
01:27:56,042 --> 01:28:01,379
♪ But I come down
just to get up ♪
1347
01:28:04,316 --> 01:28:07,185
( Vocalizing )
1348
01:28:09,321 --> 01:28:13,324
♪ There's a feeling
that I can't pull back ♪
1349
01:28:15,160 --> 01:28:18,629
♪ I can't sit
and I can't stand ♪
1350
01:28:20,399 --> 01:28:24,435
♪ And the things I want,
I just go get ♪
1351
01:28:25,904 --> 01:28:28,306
♪ Oh, it's a combination ♪
1352
01:28:28,308 --> 01:28:31,376
♪ Of a voracious appetite ♪
1353
01:28:31,378 --> 01:28:34,145
♪ But knowing the sensation ♪
1354
01:28:34,147 --> 01:28:37,815
♪ Won't stop the urge to bite ♪
1355
01:28:37,817 --> 01:28:41,319
♪ Sometimes I break
through the wall ♪
1356
01:28:43,588 --> 01:28:47,291
♪ Sometimes I just do it all ♪
1357
01:28:47,293 --> 01:28:52,196
♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation
when I move ♪
1358
01:28:53,698 --> 01:28:57,101
♪ A moving violation
when I move ♪
1359
01:28:57,103 --> 01:28:59,003
♪ Watch me! ♪
1360
01:28:59,005 --> 01:29:03,741
♪ Pure acceleration
when I choose, watch me! ♪
1361
01:29:03,743 --> 01:29:08,646
♪ Oh, I'm a moving violation
when I move ♪
1362
01:29:10,149 --> 01:29:13,551
♪ A moving violation
when I move ♪
1363
01:29:13,553 --> 01:29:15,453
♪ Watch me! ♪
1364
01:29:15,455 --> 01:29:21,325
♪ Pure acceleration
when I choose, watch me! ♪
1365
01:29:21,327 --> 01:29:25,463
♪ A moving violation-
lation-lation-lation ♪
1366
01:29:25,465 --> 01:29:29,733
♪ Moving, moving,
a violation, moving, ha! ♪
1367
01:29:29,735 --> 01:29:32,870
- ♪ Ooh, ohh! ♪
- ♪ Moving, moving ♪
1368
01:29:32,872 --> 01:29:35,506
♪ A violation,
moving, ha! ♪
1369
01:29:35,508 --> 01:29:38,376
- ♪ Watch me! ♪
- ♪ Moving, moving ♪
1370
01:29:38,378 --> 01:29:40,844
♪ A violation,
moving, ha! ♪
1371
01:29:40,846 --> 01:29:43,747
- ♪ Move! ♪
- ♪ Moving, moving ♪
1372
01:29:43,749 --> 01:29:46,050
♪ A violation,
moving, ha! ♪