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[theme music]
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[music continues]
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Hmm, oops.
4
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Well, it can't be perfect.
5
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It's only toothpaste.
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Kate, Willie,
you can come out now.
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(Kate)
'Be right there.'
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¶ Happy anniversary
happy anniversary ¶
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¶ Happy anniversary
happy anniversary ¶
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¶ Happy happy happy happy
happy anniversary ¶
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¶ Happy happy happy happy
happy anniversary ¶¶
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Cut, cut, cut.
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Uh, could you..
What-what's going on here?
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The lyric's too complicated?
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Happy anniversary!
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Yeah!
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Well, ALF, uh,
this is all very nice, but--
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Yes, thank you, thank you
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but the-the only,
the only problem is--
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Problems, shmoblems,
sit down and relax.
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The old ALFer's
doing it all tonight.
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- ALF.
- The cooking.
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The serving, the cleaning.
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Of course, once you two
get into the bedroom
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you're on your own.
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Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
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What's going on?
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Oh, looks like the old ALFer
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is throwing us
a surprise anniversary party.
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Just a little informal nothing.
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Lobster pate?
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I thought you two
are going out tonight.
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What?
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Well, uh, ALF,
that's what we were trying
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to tell you. We have plans.
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We're going out
to see "Nicholas Nickleby."
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And, uh, the tickets
were very hard to get.
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(Kate)
'We appreciate all the trouble
you've gone to.'
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I mean, cutting roses
so they look like radishes.
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And making pate.
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And very good pate too.
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What-what-what's in it?
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Uh, let me guess,
there's lobster
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there's sour cream
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but there's,
there's something else.
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- Play-doh.
- That's it.
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The fluorescent kind.
I wanted it to be special.
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I'm just going
to go brush my teeth.
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ALF, if you'd told us
about this earlier
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we might have been able
to change our plans, but..
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Hey, it's okay.
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We'll just celebrate
your anniversary without you.
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What do you say, Lynn? It'll
just be you, me and Brian.
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Sure. I'm not hungry,
but it sounds like fun.
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Ready, mom.
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Brian, party tonight.
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Be there or be square.
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I can't. I'm sleeping over
at Scott's tonight.
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His turtle died and we're gonna
flush him down the toilet.
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You're gonna skip a party
to flush a turtle?
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I get to pull the handle.
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[honking]
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That's Scott's mom.
I gotta go.
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Oh, give me a kiss.
Bye-bye.
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(Brian)
Bye.
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So, Lynn, looks like
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it'll be tea for two.
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Hey, mom, if I don't have
to babysit for Brian
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then I can go over
to Julie's house, right?
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Oh, I guess so.
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What's she flushing?
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Nothing.
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But she just broke up
with her boyfriend
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and she needs someone
to eat ice cream with.
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Why don't you just
invite her here?
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- ALF.
- Oh, yeah, right.
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It's the old
"If someone sees the alien
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they'll turn him in" excuse.
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Well, it's beginning
to wear a little thin.
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I'll bring you some ice cream.
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Think you can buy me off
with food?
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Make it rum raisin.
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- I'll see you after the play.
- Okay, honey.
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- Bye-bye. Love you.
- Love you too.
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Have a great time.
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Happy anniversary.
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Looks like it's just me
and the Coquilles St. Jacques.
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(Kate)
'I'm sorry, ALF.'
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I think I got most of it.
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My teeth aren't glowing,
are they?
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Willie, Lynn went over
to a friend's house.
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I guess I didn't think
about whether we should
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leave ALF here by himself.
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Did I mention the fondue flambe?
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I don't see
why we shouldn't trust him.
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- And the sizzling fajitas?
- I guess we should stay.
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These tickets cost
a $100 a piece.
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- He'll be fine.
- You're really going, huh?
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Listen, we'll be back
right after the play.
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Yeah, eight hours of Dickens?
Take a pillow.
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I saw it on PBS.
It's unwatchable.
102
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'And the guy who plays
Wackford Squares'
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sounds like he's from Brooklyn!
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'And I'll tell
you another thing.'
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Guess who Smike's father
turns out to be?
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- No.
- Ralph Nickleby. Hah!
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'Have a good time.'
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[instrumental music]
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Yo, Lucky, you busy?
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Feel like shooting the breeze?
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Probably on the phone
with his friends.
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[clicks]
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(female on radio)
'I'm Dr. Lory Schrock'
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'and we're back
with Jody on the line.'
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- 'Are you still there?'
- 'I'm here, Dr. Schrock.'
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(Lory)
'Jody, what do you think'
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'is the cause
of your loneliness?'
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(Jody)
'Well, for one thing'
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'Los Angeles seems
so overwhelming.'
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'Moving here was like moving
to a different planet.'
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I can relate.
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(Jody)
'I'm just so afraid
of rejection.'
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'People react funny
when they find out'
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'I'm not like them.'
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I can relate to that too.
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(Lory)
'Sometimes you have
to risk being hurt'
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'if you want things to change.'
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'Put yourself out there, Jody.
You'll find a friend.'
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Hey, Jody, you like redheads?
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(Jody)
'Thanks for listening,
Dr. Schrock.'
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'Sometimes it's important just'
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'to have a caring person
to talk--'
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(Lory)
'Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stay on the line a second.'
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'We have a pass
to Magic Mountain for you.'
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'Our number once again
is 555-4455.'
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'We'll be right back
after this message.'
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[clicks]
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555-4455.
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Hello, hi, hi, this is ALF.
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Yeah, let me speak to Jody.
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Jody, that emotional basket case
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that was talking a minute ago.
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Why not?
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Well, can you give her
my number?
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Yeah, it's 555-8531.
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Tell her she found a friend.
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Found a friend.
Wish I had one.
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[phone ringing]
149
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Hello.
150
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Yeah, yeah, this is ALF.
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Oh, Jody?
152
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Nice of you to call.
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Yeah, hold on a second.
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Jody, what's up, babe?
155
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:35,987
No, no, subtract means
to take away.
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Plus means to add.
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The shot is up,
and it's good.
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[clinks]
Three points.
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ALF, in polite society
one doesn't cut
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one's toenails
in the living room.
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Why not?
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Because it causes one
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to barf up one's dinner.
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Go on.
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Just don't do it.
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Fine.
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00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,986
[telephone ringing]
Oh, hey, get that, will you?
168
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,921
It's probably Jody.
169
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,858
If it's Jody,
why don't you get it?
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What if it isn't?
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I'll get it.
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Hello?
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00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,800
It's Jody.
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- Who?
- Jody.
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I know, I just like to hear
the sound of her name.
176
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- Who is it?
- It's Jody!
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- Just asked.
- I'm sorry.
178
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It's just this "Jody" business.
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Oh, I know. It's getting
a little out of hand.
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Mm-hmm.
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00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,149
Yeah, hold on a second,
Jodester.
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00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:41,653
Could you all step out
on the porch for a few minutes?
183
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,054
I'd like some privacy.
184
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,323
Uh, why don't you use
the kitchen phone?
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No problem.
Just hang up when I tell you.
186
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I don't know about this.
187
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This is the third time
they've spoken today.
188
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,674
I think it's nice that ALF
has a friend outside the family.
189
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,376
(ALF)
'Hang up! Now!'
190
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,646
I just wonder where this
relationship is going to lead?
191
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,481
Who says
it has to lead anywhere?
192
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,650
Is ALF gonna get married?
193
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,184
Hmm, no, he's not go..
194
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,520
Why? Have you heard something?
195
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:16,555
[ALF screaming]
196
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,423
[shattering]
Oops.
197
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,025
(ALF)
'Oh, don't worry
about it, Jodester.'
198
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,693
'It's just a gravy boat.'
199
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,396
'I'll talk to you later.'
200
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:27,165
'Nobody walk barefoot
in the kitchen.'
201
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,670
How's the Jodester?
202
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,839
Terrific.
We have so much in common.
203
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,875
We both love cats.
204
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,611
Of course, I like mine
with a side of fries.
205
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,012
Ha ha!
206
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,847
[glass shatters]
207
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:46,351
Oops. Love has made me a klutz.
208
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,254
ALF, you know, we're all
really happy that you found
209
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,089
a friend outside
the family, but--
210
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,857
Yeah, I can't wait to meet her.
211
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,059
- Meet her?
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,695
Didn't I tell you?
We have a date tomorrow.
213
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,296
A date?
214
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,532
ALF, you can't go out
on a date.
215
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:01,900
Why not?
216
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,768
Have you looked
in a mirror lately?
217
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,103
No, mine's broken.
218
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,871
Oh, by the way,
don't walk barefoot
219
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:09,107
in the laundry room, either.
220
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:13,244
ALF, uh, if you go out
with Jody
221
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,713
someone will see you.
222
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,248
No, they won't.
I'm going to Jody's place.
223
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,250
But Jody will see you.
224
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:22,454
That's where I lucked out.
Jody's blind.
225
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,156
- Blind?
- Blind.
226
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:28,793
ALF...you can't go out with her.
227
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,995
Because she's blind?
228
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,397
Yeah, mom, because she's blind?
229
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:35,900
This has nothing to do
with her being sightless.
230
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,003
Say the word, Kate.
She's blind!
231
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,105
Her blindness isn't the problem!
232
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,840
Then what is the problem?
233
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:45,343
Yeah, mom, what do you have
against the Jodester?
234
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,946
Brian, don't you have
some homework to do?
235
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,081
- It can wait.
- No, it can't.
236
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,584
Yes, mom.
237
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:55,520
ALF, uh, we-we don't
have anything against Jody.
238
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,089
- Great. Can I borrow the car?
- No.
239
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:01,092
I won't let Jody drive.
240
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,928
What happens when Jody
starts asking questions?
241
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,363
Like where you came from?
242
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,766
She already knows.
Cincinnati.
243
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,701
- Cincinnati?
- 'Mm-hmm.'
244
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:10,935
What else did you tell her?
245
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:12,370
Everything.
246
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,305
I told her about my business.
247
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,808
Wholesale band equipment.
248
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,843
And my two lovely children.
249
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,312
- Your children?
- The twins.
250
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:24,683
From my brief marriage
to Cathy Rigby.
251
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:27,485
ALF, I think it was wrong
to lie to her.
252
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,821
I know, but what else
could I do?
253
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:33,358
But eventually,
Jody's gonna learn the truth.
254
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,528
Not if Cathy Rigby
keeps her mouth shut.
255
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,230
ALF, seeing Jody at all
256
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,132
is much too dangerous.
257
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:44,803
You know it, and we know it.
258
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,372
So, uh, what you're saying is
259
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,307
I can't have any friends.
260
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,309
ALF, you have lots of friends.
261
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,878
I'm your friend.
Brian's your friend.
262
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,314
I'm your friend.
263
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,817
Uh, see, you have
lots of friends.
264
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,351
Oh, uh, uh, in-including me.
265
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:05,056
Yeah. Just no friends
outside the family.
266
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,658
[sighs]
267
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,761
If you need me,
I'll be in my room.
268
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:12,097
Alone again, naturally.
269
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,533
[clatters]
270
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:18,570
I'd clean it up,
but I'm too depressed.
271
00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:22,307
[instrumental music]
272
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:34,252
Well, Mr. Ginzburg,
I guess it's just you and me.
273
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,624
What do you wanna do? Sing?
274
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:42,093
Play charades?
275
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,695
Go to a sock hop?
276
00:12:43,697 --> 00:12:45,597
Ha ha ha!
277
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:51,770
Oh, no, I've killed
my only friend.
278
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:56,274
- Hey, ALF.
- Excuse me.
279
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,710
Yes? What?
280
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:00,712
ALF, how would you like to..
281
00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:02,881
That's my sock.
282
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:04,382
- Dad.
- Oh, right.
283
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,551
Uh, ALF, how-how would you
like to go outside
284
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,254
and, uh, throw around
the old Frisbee?
285
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,322
- The old what?
- The old Frisbee.
286
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,658
Yeah, here, I-I'll
show you how it goes.
287
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,395
I guess I'm not in the mood.
288
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,297
We're just trying
to cheer you up.
289
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,433
I don't need cheering up.
I'm happy.
290
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:26,805
I've got my cot,
my washer-dryer combo
291
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,807
and I'm talking to socks.
292
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,175
Okay.
293
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:32,477
Okay, uh, if you wanna
play though
294
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,112
we'll be,
we'll be right outside.
295
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,649
Fine. Brian, better wear
a face mask.
296
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,817
I'll be right out.
297
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,319
Oh, ALF.
298
00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:45,423
I hate seeing you like this.
299
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,525
I hate to be like this.
300
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,961
I feel like Streaky McIntosh.
301
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:53,631
- Streaky who?
- McIntosh.
302
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:55,600
Back on Melmac
303
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,469
we were orbit guards together.
304
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:01,005
He didn't have
any friends either.
305
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,908
Of course, he was obnoxious.
306
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:06,778
Am I obnoxious?
307
00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:09,047
No, ALF, you're not.
308
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,282
[belching]
Good.
309
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,319
I'm sure things
will get better.
310
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,287
That's easy for you to say.
311
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,455
You're not the one
who just bought
312
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,791
a one-way ticket
to Lonely Ville.
313
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,162
No...but I do understand.
314
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,130
Oh, do you?
315
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,999
Well..
316
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,135
...I guess it'd be like
me never being able
317
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,971
to leave the house
318
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,640
or, or to see anybody else
319
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,709
for the rest of my life
in this planet.
320
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:40,879
That's terrible.
321
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,148
Hurts, doesn't it?
322
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,484
I mean, Dr. Schrock says
we should take risks
323
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,820
but, uh, how can I take a risk
324
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:51,389
when there's no one
to take a risk with?
325
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:57,228
I'll help you.
326
00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,330
You'll what?
327
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,799
I'll help you take that risk.
328
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,204
We've only got three hours.
329
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,939
(ALF)
'Where is the styling mousse?'
330
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,040
Top shelf.
331
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,842
[clatters]
332
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,345
- 'Cologne?'
- Bottom shelf.
333
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,947
[shatters]
334
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:20,685
- 'Talcum powder?'
- Under the sink.
335
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,587
[shattering]
336
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:27,625
- 'Mouthwash?'
- In the medicine cabinet.
337
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,028
[shatters]
338
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,664
- 'Mop?'
- Never mind. Let's go.
339
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,102
Nobody walk barefoot
in the bathroom.
340
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,370
Come on, we're gonna be late.
341
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,039
Well, how do I look?
342
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,807
Like a real hunk.
343
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,075
A hunk of what?
344
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,144
Come on, we have to go.
345
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:48,947
No, really, a hunk of what?
346
00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:55,453
Okay, coast is clear.
347
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,823
Come on.
348
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,392
I thought she lived alone.
349
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:04,095
How come she has
all these rooms?
350
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,297
This is where Jody lives.
351
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:11,569
No, I still think I should have
brought her something, you know.
352
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:15,006
Some flowers, some candy,
a Rambo doll.
353
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,108
ALF, you don't have
to bring her anything.
354
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,911
You mean you gals don't care
about that sort of thing?
355
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:22,947
Well, we care a lot,
but it's too late.
356
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:27,185
Maybe not. Lemme see what
Willie's got in this coat?
357
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,154
[screams]
Oh my gosh!
It's somebody's hand!
358
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,789
ALF, it's a glove.
359
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,191
Huh.
360
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:35,326
I'll be back
at 9 o'clock, sharp.
361
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,694
- Nine, right.
- Okay, sharp.
362
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,196
Sharp, sharp, right.
Nine sharp.
363
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,497
Whatever you do..
364
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,599
...don't let her know
you're an alien.
365
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,334
- Alright already. Okay.
- Okay.
366
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,270
- Okay, bye.
- Alright, bye, bye, bye.
367
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,206
Nine sharp. Not an alien.
368
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,440
Nine sharp. Not an alien.
369
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,109
- 'Who is it?'
- Not-not an alien.
370
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,111
Oh, I mean, oh, it's ALF.
371
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,445
It's me.
372
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,448
ALF, hi. I'm Jody.
373
00:16:57,450 --> 00:17:00,385
'It's a pleasure
to meet you.'
374
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:03,554
Oh, please,
you don't have to bow.
375
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,461
Hey, nice place you have here.
376
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,796
In case you were wondering.
377
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:15,299
Thank you.
I decorated it myself.
378
00:17:15,301 --> 00:17:17,368
In case you were wondering.
379
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,505
- Shall we sit down?
- Oh, good idea.
380
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,306
There's a chair
right in front of you.
381
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:25,376
I wondered what that was.
382
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:31,315
Oh, I almost forgot.
I made food.
383
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:35,486
Great. Good friends, good food.
384
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,655
Tonight is kinda special.
385
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,824
Would you like some
shrimp hors d'oeuvres?
386
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,727
- Shrimp or what?
- Hors d'oeuvres.
387
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,396
Hmm, it's a tough choice.
388
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,598
I'll go with the shrimp.
389
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,101
[laughing]
Oh!
390
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:53,371
I get it, shrimp hor d'oeuvres.
391
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,973
[both laughing]
392
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:05,283
Cat hairs.
393
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:08,086
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
394
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,188
I thought I got them all.
395
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,889
Persian, '78.
396
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,357
[sniffing]
397
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,827
Could be a '79.
398
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,597
You'll probably be covered
with hair
399
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,631
by the time you leave.
400
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:22,567
Oh, hey, I'm used to it.
401
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,902
Oh, tasty vittles.
402
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:28,806
Oh, good. Well, I was worried
you wouldn't like it.
403
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,608
Nowadays you don't know
what to make.
404
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,878
I mean, you never know
what people will eat.
405
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,114
'Some people won't eat red meat,
some won't eat sugar.'
406
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:39,684
Some won't eat fried foods
or dairy products.
407
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:44,622
Hey, thanks,
they were delicious.
408
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,725
- There you go.
- They were?
409
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:52,430
Well...I'm glad you
enjoyed them.
410
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:55,133
Oh, I'm sorry,
did you want some?
411
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,335
Actually I'm too nervous to eat.
412
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,970
I eat when I'm nervous.
413
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,005
- You're nervous too?
- Mm-hmm.
414
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:04,675
Of course, I also eat
when I'm not nervous.
415
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,577
I eat when I'm depressed.
416
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:07,612
I eat when I'm bored.
417
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,413
I eat when I'm lonely.
418
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:10,982
I eat all the time.
419
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,483
I'm a little overweight.
420
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,085
- I'm short.
- I'm blind.
421
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:15,720
You win.
422
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:18,656
How about some music?
423
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,124
Oh, the stereo
is to your right.
424
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,293
Thanks, if you hadn't
said anything
425
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,762
I might have played the lamp.
426
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:26,797
What would you like to hear?
427
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,633
Oh, anything by The Archies
428
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:31,269
or, uh, The Partridge Family.
429
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:32,803
I don't have any of those.
430
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,040
Well, then just stick
on anything by The Chipmunks.
431
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,442
[both laughing]
432
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:40,711
Yeah. Yeah.
433
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:44,815
¶ Because the Western folks
all know ¶
434
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:47,385
¶ He's a high-falutin'
rootin' shootin' ¶
435
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,287
¶ Son-of-a-gun from Arizona ¶
436
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,122
¶ He's some cowboy ¶
437
00:19:51,124 --> 00:19:54,625
¶ Talk about your how boy ¶¶
438
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,395
(man on radio)
There's another one for ALF
and Jody. "The Christmas Song!"
439
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,297
- Yeah.
- I love this song!
440
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,632
- Yeah!
- Okay!
441
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:06,671
¶ Christmas Christmas
time is near ¶
442
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:11,676
¶ Time for toys
and time for cheer ¶
443
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,377
I'm really having a great time!
444
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:14,645
Absolutely!
445
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,547
This evening definitely glows
446
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,082
in the wind column.
447
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:22,486
¶ Hurry Christmas hurry fast ¶¶
448
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,155
(Lynn)
'ALF!'
449
00:20:24,157 --> 00:20:28,226
- Did you say something?
- Uh, I said Alvin. Alvin.
450
00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,728
- He's my favorite.
- I like Theodor.
451
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:34,432
I hate Dave. He's intrusive.
452
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,967
ALF!
453
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,108
[music player switches off]
454
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:47,011
- There's someone calling you.
- Where?
455
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:50,414
ALF, I'm blind,
but I'm not deaf.
456
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,517
ALF! ALF, come on!
457
00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:56,187
It's Cathy Rigby, isn't it?
458
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:58,789
No, it's the girl
I'm living with.
459
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,125
- What?
- It's not what you think.
460
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:02,927
She's only 16 years old.
461
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:05,863
It's worse than I thought.
462
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:09,200
ALF! ALF, my parents
are gonna catch us.
463
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:10,601
Yeah, yeah, coming.
464
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,970
I know this doesn't sound good
465
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,740
but, uh, I can
explain everything.
466
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:19,710
Just tell me the truth.
The whole truth.
467
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:22,580
I can't tell you
the whole truth.
468
00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,249
Actually..
469
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:28,219
...I can't tell you any of it..
470
00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:29,287
...except one thing.
471
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,957
I really care about you.
472
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:35,626
I care about you too, ALF.
473
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,628
And I'm asking you to trust me.
474
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,999
Well, you're asking
an awful lot.
475
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,734
I know I am.
476
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,737
But-but remember
what Dr. Schrock said
477
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,974
"Sometimes you have
to take a chance."
478
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,778
But it seems that I'm taking
a bigger chance than you are.
479
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,479
You have no idea.
480
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,148
(Lynn)
'ALF! ALF!'
481
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,716
Yeah, in a second.
482
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:03,354
Jody, are you willing
to take a chance on me?
483
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,591
- Yes.
- Good.
484
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:10,161
Then let me ask you something.
485
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,195
[knocks on door]
486
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:13,764
ALF, we've got
to leave right now!
487
00:22:13,766 --> 00:22:15,266
It's 9 o'clock.
488
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,302
[sighs]
489
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:20,171
So, how about it?
490
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:23,007
Sounds good.
491
00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,876
- Goodnight, ALF.
- Goodnight, Jody.
492
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,079
[instrumental music]
493
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:35,686
[door closes]
494
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,793
[instrumental music]
495
00:22:50,069 --> 00:22:52,370
[exhales]
496
00:22:52,372 --> 00:22:54,638
We made it.
497
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,207
Oh, my gosh,
the bathroom's a mess!
498
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:00,311
- Hi!
- You're late.
499
00:23:00,313 --> 00:23:03,414
Uh, sorry, we had to make
a little stop along the way.
500
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,683
Yeah, well, we thought
about what you said before
501
00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:07,151
about wanting a friend.
502
00:23:07,153 --> 00:23:08,953
So...here.
503
00:23:10,156 --> 00:23:12,056
This is Sparky.
504
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,658
You got me a rat. Nice gesture.
505
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:15,993
It's a hamster.
506
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:17,828
Same genus, different species.
507
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,830
They taste exactly alike.
508
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,400
[sniffing]
509
00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:23,834
I'll take it back tomorrow.
510
00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:25,336
[sniffing]
511
00:23:25,338 --> 00:23:27,004
Tonight.
512
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:29,106
Come on, Brian,
let's get you to bed.
513
00:23:29,108 --> 00:23:30,775
- Let's go.
- Hi, everybody.
514
00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:32,777
The bathroom's clean.
515
00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,011
Great.
516
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:38,215
You know, Lynn..
517
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:40,251
...I'll never forget
what you've done for me tonight.
518
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:43,754
[chuckles]
Well, the important thing is,
that it's over.
519
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,257
Yeah, at least until Saturday.
520
00:23:48,394 --> 00:23:50,628
Saturday?
521
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:52,096
Guess who's coming to dinner?
522
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:01,505
[theme music]
523
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,866
[ALF laughing]