1
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[theme music]

2
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¶ Happy birthday to you ¶

3
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¶ Happy birthday to you ¶

4
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:17,850
¶ Happy birthday dear Willie ¶
¶ Happy birthday dear daddy ¶

5
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¶ Happy birthday to you ¶¶

6
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Thank you.
Thanks, everyone. Thank you.

7
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"To a super dad, husband
and earthling."

8
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,696
That was mine.

9
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:35,167
Well, thanks. Thanks, everyone.
I'm, I'm very, very touched.

10
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,469
- Thank you, dear.
- Oh, happy birthday, darling.

11
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,672
- Happy birthday, daddy.
- Oh, thank you, son.

12
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,475
- Many more, dad.
- Thanks. Thanks, sweetheart.

13
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Thank you, ALF. Thank..

14
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,418
Whoa! Not bad.

15
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:54,820
Still waters run deep there,
William.

16
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- Blow out the candles.
- Okay.

17
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Uh, one, two, three, uh..

18
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[all laughing]

19
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'Joke candle, oh, yeah, joke.'

20
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,937
What is this,
the fifth year now?

21
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:16,442
And I, I fall for it
every single time.

22
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Hey, back off there,
Willie Bob.

23
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- Let me give it a shot.
- 'Oh.'

24
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[Kate gasps]
'ALF!'

25
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,083
What?

26
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:26,852
[theme music]

27
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[music continues]

28
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(in unison)
Speech! Speech! Speech!

29
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Oh, okay. Okay.

30
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:34,019
I was born the son
of a poor asteroid polisher.

31
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Uh, I'm supposed to be
making the speech.

32
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I think I know my life
better than you do.

33
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But enough about me.

34
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Thank you.

35
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:47,366
Well, I don't think I've got
too much to complain about

36
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that's for sure.

37
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I have my health,
I have a wonderful wife

38
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I have two great kids..

39
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...a-and an alien.

40
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Okay. Great speech.
Let's open the presents.

41
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Okay, I'll be right back.
Come on, Brian.

42
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I hope you got me jewelry.

43
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ALF, i-it's Willie's birthday.

44
00:03:04,885 --> 00:03:06,718
He's the one
who gets the presents.

45
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[laughing]
The guy who has the birthday

46
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also gets the presents?

47
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Talk about your whacky planet.

48
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Okay, dad, close your eyes.

49
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(Willie)
'Oh.'

50
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Okay...open!

51
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- Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh.

52
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,904
Kate, it's "The Cambridge Atlas
Of Astronomy."

53
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- Yeah.
- Thank you, sweetheart.

54
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- Let me see this.
- You're welcome.

55
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,409
(Willie)
'See, I've been
eyeing that book'

56
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:31,910
'in the bookstore for weeks.'

57
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'You know, I was gonna wait
until it came out in paperback'

58
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but.. What are you doing?

59
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,416
I'm correcting the more
glaring errors.

60
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Look at this.
They left out the tenth planet.

61
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Dave.

62
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Give me that.

63
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,592
You know..

64
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,094
...I think you make things up.

65
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:54,066
You told me there was a race
of cucumber people on Mars.

66
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Not a race, a family.
A small family.

67
00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:00,706
They're mean!

68
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Here.

69
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:04,610
Happy birthday!

70
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[gasps]
Well, thanks. What is it?

71
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:09,548
I don't know, something I found
in the basement

72
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,283
behind the chemical toilet.

73
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,417
Oh, how thoughtful.

74
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,720
Well, I can't exactly
go out and shop!

75
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,221
Oh, no, no.
I mean it is charming.

76
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,624
This one's very thoughtful,
ALF, thank you.

77
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,792
L-look at these,
these are pictures.

78
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These are our high school,
our college pictures.

79
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Oh, my gosh!
I don't believe this!

80
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,465
- There's old letters in there.
- Oh.

81
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:30,302
Mom, who is this gorgeous guy
with his arm around you?

82
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:32,638
Oh, that's Animal Honerhime.

83
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:33,972
Animal?

84
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:35,941
Your mother dated
a lot of gorgeous guys

85
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:39,244
before she met me. Not that
I wasn't gorgeous myself.

86
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,980
Hey, who is this guy
that looks like Harrison Ford?

87
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,815
Uh, that's Nolan Westwood.

88
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,817
Who's this guy
in the stupid-looking clothes?

89
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,153
That's a football uniform, ALF.

90
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,822
I know this guy.
He's an old-timer.

91
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:53,058
What's his name? Joe..

92
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,793
Namath.

93
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,995
You dated Joe Namath?

94
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,732
The panty hose guy? Wow!

95
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,169
Mom, you really went out
with some hunks.

96
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:07,572
But I married
the best hunk of them all.

97
00:05:07,574 --> 00:05:10,142
Oh, my gosh! Here's a menu.

98
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:12,844
Oh, look, it's an old menu
from that little restaurant

99
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,680
that, uh,
Kate and I discovered.

100
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,448
- Oh.
- Let's order.

101
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,650
The restaurant's
been closed for 20 years.

102
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,087
- Then why are we ordering?
- We're not ordering.

103
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,523
Oh, honey, look what we wrote
on the back. It's our list.

104
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,957
What list?

105
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,360
Well, your father and I
each made a list of things

106
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,529
that we wanted to accomplish
in our lives.

107
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,931
You know,
our goals, dreams.

108
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,033
Can I see it?

109
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,836
Look what mom wrote,
"To ski the Eagles Nest

110
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,805
"at Squaw Valley.

111
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"To have a poem published

112
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"in a major literary magazine.

113
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To run with the bulls
at Pamplona."

114
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,380
She did all that too.

115
00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:52,351
Wow, Kate, you little
overachiever you.

116
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,985
Yeah. Way to go, mom.

117
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,487
Oh, well, you know
how I am with lists.

118
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,522
I love crossing things off.

119
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,558
- Where's your list, dad?
- Oh, it's in there.

120
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,893
I-I think I wrote it
under the catch of the day.

121
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:04,796
Let me see that.
I may want sea bass.

122
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,998
We're not ordering.

123
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,235
Alright, alright.
Let me read this. Wait a minute.

124
00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:13,472
"Willie Tanner,
goals and ambitions.

125
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:17,209
Number one,
to build a better mousetrap."

126
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:19,044
Well, that must have been
a piece of cake.

127
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,980
Not exactly, I-I-I'm
still working on that one.

128
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:26,418
"Number two,
complete that skydive."

129
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,220
Complete that skydive?

130
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:30,522
How do you skydive
just a little bit?

131
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,224
Do you jump halfway?

132
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,861
No, you..

133
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:38,029
...you get ready to jump..

134
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,331
...you have second thoughts

135
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,866
you go back to your seat
to sit down.

136
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:43,101
Oh, you chicken out.

137
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,437
N-no, you decide<i> not</i> to jump.

138
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,939
- You come to your senses.
- Yes, you have second thoughts.

139
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,975
You decide not to be stupid.

140
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,611
Alright, alright.

141
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,880
(Willie and ALF)
You chicken out.

142
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,449
Now, how about
some of that wet cake?

143
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:58,517
Yeah.

144
00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,420
[instrumental music]

145
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,531
- Yo, Willie.
- Yo, uh..

146
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:15,133
- What are you workin' on?
- My mousetrap.

147
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:17,402
Uh-huh.

148
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,571
You might have a little
trouble slipping that baby

149
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,139
behind a refrigerator.

150
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,443
Say, uh, don't you have
some sleeping to do?

151
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:28,413
No, I always wake up
around 3:00, 3:30

152
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:32,617
have a couple of potatoes
and, uh, wait for my papers.

153
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,154
- What a life.
- Yeah, so far no complaints.

154
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,224
- Want a cold spud?
- No. No, thanks.

155
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,992
'Cause I ate
the rest of the cake.

156
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,494
- I should tell you that now.
- That's okay.

157
00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:44,496
And the candles.

158
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,164
Listen, uh..

159
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,334
...ALF, I, I'd really
like to finish this thing.

160
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,336
Why bother?

161
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:55,173
Because I like to finish
something I start.

162
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,242
You never finished that skydive.

163
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,012
Did you ever set goals
for yourself

164
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,681
that you weren't
able to accomplish?

165
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,349
- No.
- N-none?

166
00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:06,685
Melmacians don't
set goals really.

167
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,420
We live from moment to moment.

168
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,789
- From snack to snack.
- Yes.

169
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,858
We take time to stop and..

170
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,360
...smell the potatoes.

171
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:17,529
Did you ever jump
out of a moving plane?

172
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,264
Hey, you wanna be alone,
just tell me.

173
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:22,934
No, no, I mean,
did-did, did you ever skydive?

174
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,136
I fell to Earth at Mach 16.

175
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:26,338
What was that like?

176
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:29,107
Imagine Mach 8, and double it.

177
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:33,478
- Weren't you scared?
- Not once I started plummeting.

178
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,880
Mmm.

179
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,982
Hey, Willie,
don't worry about it.

180
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,817
You don't have
to prove anything.

181
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,719
You're a good provider.

182
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,955
You've got a couple
of great kids and an alien.

183
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,557
You don't run around.

184
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,627
And your life is incredibly
predictable and safe.

185
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,828
[thud]

186
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,630
There's my paper.<i> Ciao.</i>

187
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:55,367
[instrumental music]

188
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,439
- Kate
- Yeah?

189
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,210
You ever hear from Nolan?

190
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,913
Nolan who?

191
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,148
Nolan Westwood.

192
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,685
No. Why?

193
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,353
Oh, uh, I don't know,
I just wondered

194
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:19,558
if you've heard from him since,
you know since college.

195
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,428
Actually, I heard
that he went to New Guinea

196
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,664
and never came back.

197
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,333
Oh, that's...that's too bad.

198
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,670
Some tribe
made him their king.

199
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,041
- W-why do you ask?
- Oh, nothing.

200
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,443
I wa.. I was just, uh,
I was just curious.

201
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,679
Oh.

202
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:44,783
Does he have any real power
or is he just a figurehead?

203
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:48,086
Well, uh...
he's on the stamps.

204
00:09:56,530 --> 00:10:00,131
- What about Joe?
- Joe who?

205
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:03,034
You know...the football guy.

206
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,537
- Theismann?
- No.

207
00:10:05,539 --> 00:10:07,372
Joe Namath.

208
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:10,742
Did you go out
with Joe Theismann too?

209
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:15,714
No, honey. Just Namath. Why are
you bringing all this up?

210
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:20,452
Kate, you think of me as
incredibly predictable

211
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,320
and safe?

212
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,488
Yes.

213
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,726
That's why I'm here with you,
right now.

214
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,833
Now, go to sleep.
You have a busy day tomorrow.

215
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:41,573
Yeah. I gotta take the wagon
and get the radiator flushed.

216
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:44,643
After that, I'm going to,
uh, stop at the hardware

217
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,511
and see if the lawn sprinkler
has come in yet.

218
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,279
Hmm.

219
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,949
Having lunch
with Cousin Verne.

220
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,351
He talked to me
about his new edger.

221
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,521
After that..

222
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,924
...I decided
I'm gonna go skydiving.

223
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:01,259
Mmm.

224
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:06,865
- Goodnight, dear.
- Goodnight.

225
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,405
[instrumental music]

226
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,409
Ah!

227
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,612
Excuse me.

228
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,347
Where am I?

229
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,549
You're at your graduation.

230
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:28,219
Well, uh, well,
what am I graduating from?

231
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,388
Uh, this is a dream, Tanner.

232
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:33,958
Its purpose is to point out
how inadequate you are

233
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,394
compared to everybody else.

234
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,229
That sounds like fun.

235
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,765
Would you mind
standing off to the side?

236
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,969
[instrumental music]

237
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,204
[music stops]

238
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,339
Nolan Westwood.

239
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:51,843
Come on out
and accept your diploma.

240
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,479
[all cheering]

241
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:58,583
Congratulations, Nolan,
on being a successful unicyclist

242
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:01,252
world traveler
and New Guinean king.

243
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,789
Thank you.
Here are some stamps and coins.

244
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,058
He's on the money too?

245
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,194
- Tanner, quiet.
- I'm sorry.

246
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,662
Listen, I've got to go.

247
00:12:10,664 --> 00:12:12,664
They're having a little ceremony
for me back home.

248
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:15,400
I'm being bumped up
from king to God.

249
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,371
- Congratulations, Nolan.
- Thanks, bub.

250
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:23,074
You've really,
you've really done quite well.

251
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,277
You're telling me? I've lead a
life of travel and adventure.

252
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,446
I'm rich, I'm famous.

253
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:31,616
I have a species of bird
named after me.

254
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,853
I'll have my mortgage
paid off in eight years.

255
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,956
Unless we refinance, of course,
Kate and I are still kicking--

256
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:41,292
Yeah, say hi to her for me,
will ya? What a cutie.

257
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,261
[swooshing]

258
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,431
Your mortgage will be paid off.

259
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:53,371
Next up, Lyle Animal Honerhime

260
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:56,641
jet-setter, yachtsman,
international financier.

261
00:12:56,643 --> 00:13:00,812
Come on out here, Animal,
and get your diploma.

262
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:02,413
You rich guy you.

263
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,982
[all cheering]

264
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,317
Thank you, Dean Houseman.

265
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,989
Wow! Have you done well!

266
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:12,257
Yeah, I'm quite a guy.

267
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,392
You've won the Indianapolis 500

268
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,427
you're listed
in the Fortune 500

269
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:19,164
and in the National League
you batted 500.

270
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,332
Listen, I got to run,
we're having 500 people

271
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,134
over for dinner tonight.

272
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,669
Animal.

273
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,838
Uh, no, we've already got
somebody to park the cars.

274
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,508
No, no, no, I just, uh,
I just wanted to say

275
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,811
hello, I'm, I'm Willie Tanner.

276
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,112
Tanner.

277
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:36,681
Well, I married
Kate Halligan.

278
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,183
Kate Halligan.

279
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,450
Say hello to her for me,
will ya?

280
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,253
You know, she is one in 500.

281
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,292
[swooshing]

282
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,294
And now..

283
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,262
...our next recipient

284
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,765
needs no introduction.

285
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:57,001
Ladies and gentlemen,
Joe Namath.

286
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,203
[all cheering]

287
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:01,439
Hey, Joe, go on out
for a long one, huh?

288
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,541
I was just kiddin'.
Here you go, Joe.

289
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,376
Thanks. Uh, say,
what's going on here?

290
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,545
Uh, uh,
Willie's having a dream.

291
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,448
- Willie!
- Hello, Joe.

292
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,884
I'm sorry
to drag you into this.

293
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,954
Oh, hey, that's cool. I've been
doing a lot of dreams lately.

294
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:19,390
Next week I'm doing
a Howard Cosell nightmare.

295
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:23,394
Oh, oh, gee, Joe,
you've done awfully well.

296
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:26,064
Say, would you,
would you autograph this..

297
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,366
...for my son Brian?

298
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,301
Absolutely.

299
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,876
- Here you go.
- Thanks, Joe.

300
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:40,245
"To Brian..

301
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,981
...tell your mom hello."

302
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,017
You know what, I always
think about what Kate said

303
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,518
when I proposed to her.

304
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,587
Yeah, and that's how
I got the bad knees

305
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,256
by the way, kneeling.

306
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,524
She said, "Broadway.."

307
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,526
She always called me Broadway.

308
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,729
She said,
"Thanks, but no thanks.

309
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:02,000
I'm looking for someone
that's...predictable and safe."

310
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,936
So long, Willie.

311
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,939
[swooshing]

312
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,173
Oh.

313
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,510
I'm going skydiving tomorrow!

314
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,946
[imitating Willie]
I'm going skydiving tomorrow!

315
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,016
You had your chance.

316
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:24,255
And now it gives me
great pleasure to introduce

317
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:28,126
our man of the century,
someone whose accomplishments

318
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,763
put the rest of us to shame,
a person of whom it can truly

319
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:36,467
be said, "He changed
the way we look at the world."

320
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:42,240
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
Gordon "ALF" Shumway.

321
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:45,043
[all cheering]

322
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,250
- ALF.
- Hey, ALF, great to see you.

323
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,284
Way to go.

324
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,552
- What a guy!
- He's the best.

325
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,820
Say, ALF,
can I have your autograph?

326
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:56,788
Sure, Joe.

327
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,090
Oh-ho, wait till
my friends see this.

328
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,626
Oh. Here you go.

329
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,494
- Thanks.
- ALF.

330
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,431
- Willie.
- ALF?

331
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,066
Willie.

332
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:12,971
- You're the man of the century?
- Yeah, what a surprise!

333
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:15,173
I was happy
just to be nominated.

334
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,841
What a kick!

335
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,677
- Well, congratulations!
- Thanks.

336
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:23,181
Hey, Willie, you never know
next century it could be you.

337
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,116
I don't think so.

338
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:28,786
Hey, come on,
don't be so negative.

339
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,190
All you have to do
is take this parachute

340
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:36,160
and jump, Willie. Jump! Jump!

341
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,263
(all)
Jump! Jump! Jump!

342
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:42,200
Jump! Jump! Jump!

343
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,369
Jump! Jump! Jump!

344
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,838
'Jump! Jump! Jump!'

345
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,307
Jump!

346
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,875
(in unison)
Jump! Jump!

347
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,978
- Jump, Willie, jump.
- Now, hit, roll. Huh?

348
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,880
Hit, roll.

349
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,048
[sighs]

350
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,182
How was that?

351
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:03,021
I thought the roll was supposed
to come right after the hit.

352
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,656
You mean, you mean there
was a pause between the two?

353
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,726
There was enough time
to send out for pizzas.

354
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,195
Now that's a thought.

355
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,698
- Can I try it?
- Yeah, sure.

356
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,233
Come on, hit, roll, huh?

357
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:18,136
Hit, roll. Hit, roll!

358
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,805
Yes. Yes! Yes.

359
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,041
There's nothing
to this skydiving stuff.

360
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,642
It's boring.

361
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,245
Let's take a break here.

362
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,148
Yeah, good idea.

363
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,651
You know, uh, ALF,
I had the strangest dream

364
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,421
last night...and you were in it.

365
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:39,090
- No kidding.
- Yeah.

366
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,591
It was really weird.

367
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,828
There was you
and there were these three guys

368
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,564
that Kate used to go out with.

369
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,232
What's weird about that?

370
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,601
Well, what were you doing in it?

371
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:52,570
Now that you brought it up

372
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,972
I think Kate's been
coming on to me lately.

373
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,510
I, I really think
you're mistaking friendliness

374
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,612
for, uh, something else.

375
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,116
Then I guess I shouldn't
have sent her flowers.

376
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:08,286
- You sent my wife flowers?
- Okay, break's over.

377
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,454
[blows whistle]

378
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,788
Let's, uh,
let's get on with this.

379
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,525
Come on.
Enough of this idle chit-chat.

380
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,962
Hit, roll. Hit! Roll!

381
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:19,864
Yeah.

382
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,800
- How about it?
- Not bad.

383
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,869
If that had been a real jump
you'd have just driven

384
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,271
your femur into your spleen.

385
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,975
Oh, Willie,
the flowers are beautiful.

386
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,144
Honey, what's the occasion?

387
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:36,047
Uh, it's just because
he loves you, that's all.

388
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,983
Oh, I love you too.

389
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,952
Oh, w-well,
what's going on here?

390
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,554
Oh, I was, uh, just
practicing my hit and roll.

391
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:47,425
- That's skydiving lingo.
- Sky..

392
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,160
So that is what you said
last night.

393
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:52,430
Yeah, I decided I'm,
I'm gonna take the plunge.

394
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,165
And don't try
talking him out of this.

395
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,734
ALF, do you mind?

396
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,503
You're really serious
about this, aren't you?

397
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,404
Yup.

398
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,340
Why are you doing this?

399
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:07,411
I'm doing this because
I feel I have to do this.

400
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,681
Because of something you wrote
on a menu 25 years ago?

401
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,350
I thought it was 20.

402
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,918
ALF.

403
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,688
Twenty five years ago

404
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,757
five people went up in a plane

405
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,993
and four people jumped.

406
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,262
You didn't jump
because you didn't wanna jump.

407
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,498
I didn't jump
because I was afraid to jump.

408
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,066
You're not afraid now?

409
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,203
I am afraid..

410
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,972
...but I feel..

411
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:38,709
...that this is something
I have to do.

412
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,612
If jumping out
of an airplane at 5000 feet

413
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,915
is that important to you,
you should do it.

414
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,119
We'll be there watching.

415
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:57,795
5000 feet? I thought
they said it was 4000.

416
00:19:57,797 --> 00:20:00,231
I think it's 10,000.

417
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,899
[instrumental music]

418
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,404
[airplane whirring]

419
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,341
We're nearing the drop zone!

420
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,476
[all cheering]

421
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,412
- Are we pumped?
- We're pumped!

422
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,481
We're all pumped, alright.
We're-we're pumped as can be.

423
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,083
Uh, pumped as a tire,
in fact.

424
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:21,018
Good, that's what
I like to hear!

425
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,486
- Uh, Mr. Tanner.
- Yeah.

426
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,389
I noticed you didn't check off
the life insurance box.

427
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:27,525
Oh, I'm sorry.

428
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,694
That'll be, uh, two bucks.

429
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:33,397
Uh, I don't know, would it be
alright if I paid you later?

430
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:37,068
- Huh. Good one.
- Oh, boy.

431
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,740
We are now directly
over the drop zone.

432
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,276
Skydivers, prepare for flight.

433
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:48,779
And watch out
for that first step.

434
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,682
Oh, ha ha. Good one!

435
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,019
A-a-are you
doing this for fun?

436
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,954
Or-or-or do you
have a list too?

437
00:20:56,956 --> 00:21:00,258
- Excuse me?
- Oh, never mind.

438
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,593
This is my first time.

439
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,462
- Nervous, huh?
- Yeah, a little.

440
00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:08,466
Nothing to worry about,
just like jumping off a cliff.

441
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,637
- Collin!
- Yo!

442
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,705
[whooshing]

443
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,875
- Pumanski!
- Yo!

444
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,247
- Burner!
- Yo!

445
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,616
Hey, listen,
if anything happens to me

446
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,551
tell them
no life support systems.

447
00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:29,954
- Gotcha.
- Yeah!

448
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:34,091
- Tanner!
- Present, yes.

449
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:37,295
- You're supposed to say yo!
- Oh, right, yo!

450
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,569
Uh, listen, I,
here's what I've decided.

451
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:48,005
I-I-I can't do this,
I-I-I won't do it.

452
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:50,841
I mean, I-I don't need to do it,
so I'm not going to do it.

453
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:53,010
Uh, that-that's what
I wanted to tell you.

454
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,812
You see, I was, I was sitting
back there and listening to

455
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,448
everybody say yo and all
that and I thought to myself

456
00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,350
"Do I really want to plummet?"

457
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,018
And I had to admit

458
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:03,454
no...I-I don't
feel like plummeting

459
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,956
so I'm not gonna do it,
I'm gonna go back over there

460
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,859
and I'll sit down. Uh, uh,
that's, that's where I'll be.

461
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:10,461
R-right over there, okay?

462
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,163
W-what?

463
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:14,398
Oh, nothing.

464
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,870
Ah, what the hell.

465
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:22,773
[Willie screaming]

466
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,184
[crickets chirping]

467
00:22:33,186 --> 00:22:34,952
[cat mewing]

468
00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:41,459
(Lynn)
'ALF? ALF?'

469
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:44,128
In here!

470
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:46,497
[laughing]
What are you doing?

471
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:48,566
Building a better cat trap.

472
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:50,868
[thud]

473
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:53,237
How'd the jump go?

474
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:55,139
- Great, he did it.
- Yeah.

475
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:56,240
- Yeah.
- Nice going, Willie.

476
00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:58,075
Hey, let's hear it
for the Tan man.

477
00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,578
- That's right.
- Thank you, thank you.

478
00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,179
Thank you very much, thank you.

479
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,983
It was nothing,
it was like jumping off a cliff.

480
00:23:05,985 --> 00:23:07,852
Are you gonna do it again?

481
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,820
Not in your lifetime.

482
00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:13,357
Well, I'm gonna jump as soon as
Lash gets his pilot's license.

483
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,094
I think we'll all jump when
Lash gets his pilot's license.

484
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:19,864
ALF, you would have been
really, really proud of him.

485
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:21,532
I was proud of him
before he jumped.

486
00:23:21,534 --> 00:23:25,770
You said he'd end up
a red smear on the landscape.

487
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:30,908
I said he<i> might</i> end up
a red smear on the landscape.

488
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:34,545
Well, honey, tell me, what's
next for the conquering hero?

489
00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:36,180
Oh, I don't know.

490
00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:38,883
I was thinking about that
on the way down.

491
00:23:38,885 --> 00:23:41,285
I'd still like to discover
that new galaxy.

492
00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:43,521
I don't know,
maybe play pro-football

493
00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:47,458
for a couple of years, take the
whole gang, move to New Guinea.

494
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:48,859
[laughing]

495
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:51,128
Of course, first..

496
00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,897
...I have to get
the radiator flushed.

497
00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:55,399
[all laughing]

498
00:23:55,401 --> 00:23:57,201
[thud]

499
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:07,344
[theme music]

500
00:24:32,004 --> 00:24:34,071
<i> [ALF laughing]</i>