1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:05,437
What can I tell you, Cathy?
My parents aren't home yet.

2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,140
Oh, don't worry.
I'm going to get the car.

3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,409
They already said
I could use it.

4
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,212
No, I promise we won't
miss the concert.

5
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,546
Bye.

6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,717
- If we miss that concert..
- Unbelievable.

7
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,586
I know they're an hour late.

8
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:23,622
No, I'm talkin' about
Wall Street weekend review.

9
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:26,392
This guy is sitting there
with a straight face

10
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:30,262
talkin' about gold
like it's valuable or something.

11
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,730
But gold is valuable.

12
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,600
- And so is time.
- You're kidding.

13
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:39,338
You may not believe this but
on Melmac gold is worthless.

14
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:42,708
On Melmac the most valuable
thing is foam.

15
00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,077
- Foam?
- Yeah.

16
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:47,079
My Granduncle Shumway
once said

17
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:51,350
"I'm heading out west, there's
foam in them thar hills."

18
00:00:51,352 --> 00:00:54,086
Well, foam is almost
worthless here.

19
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:57,489
- What about gravel?
- Gravel's cheap too.

20
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,058
Ah..

21
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,093
- Wax?
- Yup.

22
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,594
Boy.

23
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,064
ALF, I got some more
lint for you to save.

24
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:08,801
Dump it.

25
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:12,771
[theme music]

26
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,652
[no audio]

27
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,222
[music continues]

28
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,658
[no audio]

29
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,431
[no audio]

30
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,505
[no audio]

31
00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:53,679
[music continues]

32
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,434
Cathy, I told you
I'd call you

33
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,436
the minute
they got home.

34
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,338
Fine, if it'll
make you feel better

35
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,608
go stand by the curb. Bye!

36
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:25,677
Hey, even silver has value.

37
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,748
That's them.
See you later, ALF.

38
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,685
Oh, no.
It's a tow truck.

39
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:38,490
- I didn't order any toes.
- The car broke down again.

40
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,859
So what's the connection
to toes?

41
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,696
Mom and dad
what happened to the car?

42
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,232
- The engine.
- And the differential.

43
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,500
And the brakes.

44
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,335
Hey, ALF, you better
go in the kitchen.

45
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,503
The tow truck driver
is coming in.

46
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,472
He's helping us
bring in the groceries.

47
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,374
Then who's bringing in the toes?

48
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,510
Just go.

49
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,881
Well, there go
my concert plans.

50
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,918
I-I'm sorry, Lynn. We're as
upset about this as you are.

51
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,320
It just seems like my friends
are always drivin' me some place

52
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,356
and then when it's my turn to
drive something always happens.

53
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,325
I'd like to be more sympathetic

54
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:17,196
but ice cream
is melting on my shoe.

55
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,965
I'm sorry.
I'll call Cathy and cancel.

56
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,238
Sorry about my tow truck
breakin' down.

57
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,473
What do you suppose
the odds were on that one?

58
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,309
Ah, you can just set
those down anywhere.

59
00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:31,777
Ah, that's okay, I'll carry
them right into the kitchen.

60
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:36,014
Uh, no, uh...we'd like
to unload our own groceries

61
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,650
it's kind of a family thing.

62
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:41,520
I know what you mean,
we're the same way.

63
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,022
Well, how, how much do I
owe you then, Bert?

64
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,857
Well, uh, the tow is 49

65
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:49,828
but, uh, then I owe
you 63.50 for the new battery.

66
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,597
Of course, your wife
sat on my glasses.

67
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:54,433
So, uh, let's see, uh..

68
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,837
...carry the four..

69
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:04,476
- Call it 50 bucks.
- But who owes who?

70
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,847
That's a good one.
Cash will be fine.

71
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,716
Here you go.

72
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,652
You know, I hate takin'
this money from you.

73
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:15,287
You folks are gonna
have to shell out plenty

74
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,622
to get that car fixed.

75
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,257
How much do you
think it'll be?

76
00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:22,261
Well, you're lookin' at couple
of grand to repair the engine

77
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:24,663
and another douche
for the differential

78
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,966
plus your tires are shot.
That's, that's gonna run you

79
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:32,571
uh...carry the four..

80
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:34,539
I think we get the picture.

81
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:35,974
Yeah, and also you
may wanna consider

82
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,809
a new set of brake pads.

83
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:41,847
We should've never towed you
with the emergency on.

84
00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:45,951
- My mistake.
- You're too kind.

85
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,919
I'm sorry, I got a grease spot
on the carpet.

86
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:52,324
Oh, no, no, no. I-I-I I'm sure
that this will take care of it.

87
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:55,494
- I-it I-I-I.. It's my fault.
- Don't worry about it.

88
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,663
Thanks, thanks again.
See you, Bert.

89
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,033
You can come out now, ALF.

90
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:03,869
Well, I've canceled
my concert plans.

91
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:07,105
But before I go into my room and
listen to The Pretenders on tape

92
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,875
instead of seeing them in
person, I would just like to say

93
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:13,045
that I wish we had a second car.
Have a nice evening.

94
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,383
Why don't you
buy her one, Willie?

95
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,952
- What?
- A car.

96
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,521
Spring for it.

97
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,424
We can't afford to
spring for a car.

98
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,825
Now is the time.

99
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,761
Four point eight financing
on every Chevy in stock.

100
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,631
On approval of credit,
of course.

101
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,132
I believe our credit
was used up

102
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,368
in the repair
to the roof of our garage.

103
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,138
Which had been damaged I believe
by an errant spaceship.

104
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:42,841
Thanks for not naming names.

105
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,610
Willie, what if we kicked
in a little money to add

106
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:49,381
to what Lynn has saved
and let her buy a used car.

107
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:51,383
Well, I don't know, we, we..

108
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,918
We'd have to talk about it,
that's all.

109
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,488
You've ice cream
on your shoes.

110
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:59,925
- Who has my Pretenders tape?
- Oh, it's in my Walkman.

111
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,661
I use it to do my aerobics.

112
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:05,530
Lynn, how much money do you have
in your savings account?

113
00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:07,966
About $150.

114
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:10,068
What if we kicked in
150 with that?

115
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,839
- What kinda car would that buy?
- A stolen one.

116
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,742
You guys would go in halves
with me on a car?

117
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,909
We could do that.

118
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,544
As-as long we were sure
that it would

119
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,079
amount enough to buy a safe one.

120
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:23,749
Well, I-I can, I can get
a part time job to earn more.

121
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,485
There's an opening in
Mr. Jim's Chicken and Oysters.

122
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,553
We had a Mr. Jim's on Melmac.

123
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,590
But instead of chicken
and oysters, it was dogs and--

124
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,692
- Don't say it, ALF, don't.
- Why?

125
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,761
It's not the same Mr. Jim.

126
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:37,195
The one I knew is in prison.

127
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,931
He got caught substituting
hamburger for collie.

128
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,836
- He said it.
- Said what?

129
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,572
Well, so, so what do
you think, dad?

130
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:52,544
I think that's one of the most
repugnant things I can imagine.

131
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:54,479
No, no.
I mean, can I get a job?

132
00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:57,883
Honey, do you think that you can
handle a job and go to school?

133
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,985
I mean, you're not exactly
getting straight A's.

134
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,687
All the more reason
to start a carrier.

135
00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,456
Nobody asked you.

136
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:08,193
Well, if I had to wait for
an invitation, I'd never speak.

137
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,797
I'll put away the groceries.

138
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:17,002
How many more questions
are there in this stupid test?

139
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:20,672
Five more on chicken
and three more on oysters.

140
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:24,142
Oh, and there's a two part essay
on citizenship.

141
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,178
I'm so tired.

142
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,146
Is it really worth
all this trouble

143
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,816
just to get a jalopy
to drive around in?

144
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:34,886
Yes, ALF.
I want a car more than anythin'.

145
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,588
Well, then you better
get crackin' here

146
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,757
if you wanna be
wearin' Mr. Jim's

147
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:41,693
feather and shell insignia.

148
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,094
- Alright.
- Alright.

149
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:47,165
- What's the next question?
- Question 126.

150
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,836
"While preparing
the clock and shark combo

151
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:54,506
"the chicken should be,
A, breaded?

152
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,641
"B, baked?

153
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:59,644
C, washed?"

154
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,781
I'll go with...C.
Washed.

155
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,684
Eh-h-h! Wrong.

156
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,786
The answer is A, breaded.

157
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,221
You're not supposed to wash 'em?

158
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:13,658
According to Mr. Jim,
chickens wash themselves.

159
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:17,229
Don't wash chickens.
Don't wash chickens.

160
00:08:17,231 --> 00:08:18,663
- Okay.
- Alright.

161
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,999
Question 127.

162
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:26,071
"An oyster should be thrown out
when A, it turns brown

163
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:30,976
B, it turns black,
C, it turns over."

164
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:36,915
That's right.
Take your time.

165
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:39,117
Think before you answer.

166
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,789
Lynn, Lynn.

167
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:47,526
Yo, Lynn.

168
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,628
I'm gonna guess brown.

169
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,762
Lynn, I thought you might have--

170
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,864
Ssshh! She's asleep.

171
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,800
Oh, the poor thing.

172
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,168
You're killing her, Kate.

173
00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:00,005
She can't work and go to school
at the same time.

174
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,873
You are robbing her
of her youth

175
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,009
just because you won't
spring for a car.

176
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,211
[sniffing]

177
00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:07,579
Is that cocoa?

178
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,848
I can't believe
you're saying that to me.

179
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,684
Why not?
It smells like cocoa.

180
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:15,120
Alright, it's cocoa. Let's get
back to this car thing.

181
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,589
Now we made a deal with Lynn.

182
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:20,191
We'll contribute half,
she's to earn the other half.

183
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,761
But it is cocoa?

184
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,262
Yes, it is.

185
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,698
I knew it.

186
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,933
Do you want the cocoa, ALF?

187
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,268
- Are there marshmallows in it?
- No.

188
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,570
- Pass.
- Fine.

189
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,207
But some hot coffee
would be nice.

190
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,912
I guess she didn't hear me.

191
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,925
Here you are, sir.
The pelican gullet platter.

192
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,027
Chicken on the half shell
for the lady.

193
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,964
And oyster dog and a Mr. Jim's
game card for you.

194
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:00,632
What do I do?

195
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:04,169
You scratch off three oysters
and win a pack of cigarettes.

196
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,405
Ah, which is the chicken
and which is the oyster, Lynn?

197
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:11,109
- This tastes like fish.
- Then that's the chicken.

198
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:15,046
You did everything right, Lynn.
It looks fine.

199
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,715
You served it beautifully.

200
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:20,885
I just don't think I'm really
all that hungry right now.

201
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,721
You don't have
to be nice, dad.

202
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,223
That was the worst thing
I ever ate.

203
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,959
I just serve it, buster.

204
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,329
We're supposed to say that.

205
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:35,000
- I'm gonna go change.
- I won, I won.

206
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:40,271
- Menthol lights.
- I'll take that.

207
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:43,008
You know, Willie,
Lynn hasn't said anything to me

208
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,378
but she's been so good
about this whole thing.

209
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,246
Maybe we should
let her buy a car now

210
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,148
and she could pay us back
little by little.

211
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,984
Gosh, Kate,
I thought we decided.

212
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,087
I think it's important that
she sees this thing through.

213
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,289
Umm, something smells good.

214
00:10:58,291 --> 00:11:01,359
- You can have mine.
- Later.

215
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:04,663
- Where is Lynn?
- Um, she's changing. Why?

216
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,297
You'll find out in a minute.

217
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,066
- Lynn!
- 'Yeah.'

218
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:11,269
Got somethin' for ya.
Meet me in the garage.

219
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,172
Bye.

220
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,875
What has he done?

221
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:19,177
Maybe nothing.

222
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,079
Maybe.

223
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,114
What's going on? ALF?

224
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,017
(ALF)
'Out here.
I've got a surprise for ya.'

225
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,420
- What is it?
- 'I'll give you a hint.'

226
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:31,022
[car honking]

227
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,466
- It's a car!
- Hmm, you didn't need a hint.

228
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:51,042
- ALF stole a car.
- I didn't steal it.

229
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,445
I bought it...for Lynn.

230
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,349
I don't believe it.

231
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,486
It would've been here last week.
But I held out for red.

232
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,189
I don't believe it.

233
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:07,125
It's true,
everybody wants red.

234
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,360
ALF, how did you
buy this car?

235
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:11,162
I got it
through my broker.

236
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,831
Broker?
What broker?

237
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,434
The one I hired to sell
the gold from my spaceship.

238
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:19,904
Wait, wait, wait. Let's just
take this one step at a time.

239
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,240
You bought a car?

240
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,943
Yes. The papers are
in that envelope.

241
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:27,879
You have gold?

242
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,447
Had gold.

243
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:32,484
All the plumbing
on my ship was gold.

244
00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:33,952
Except for the bidet.

245
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,121
That was platinum.

246
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,423
Uh-huh.

247
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,926
ALF, this is the most
wonderful present

248
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,095
anyone has ever given me.

249
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,930
Aww, you're just saying that.

250
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:46,931
No!

251
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,934
No, I mean it.
It's incredible.

252
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,138
Shektor, Kosay, and Klein,
investment brokers

253
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,073
"Dear, ALF. Congratulations

254
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:58,843
"or should I say
<i> congratulazzione.</i>

255
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,346
"I've sold the balance of
your gold and will invest

256
00:13:01,348 --> 00:13:04,082
"the proceeds in
that mango farm in Oxnard.

257
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,451
All the best. Joel."

258
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,286
Look at this interior?

259
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,789
The dashboard
is burled mahogany.

260
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:14,259
Grown in the Ferrari family's
private arboretum.

261
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,462
And check out these wheels.

262
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,130
Chrome...from Rome.

263
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:22,100
Ohh, feel this leather.

264
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:25,370
Virgin ox.
Albino virgin.

265
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,373
Oh, my gosh, Willie,
look, a cellular phone.

266
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,842
Programmed for speed dialing.

267
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:34,312
Come on, Willie. Park your
carcass on that virgin ox.

268
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,080
- Yeah, come on, dad.
- Come on, hon.

269
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,882
- Eh..
- Yeah, dad, park it.

270
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,018
Yeah.

271
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,420
Uh, no, no.
I'm not..

272
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,160
I'm not getting in that car.

273
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,296
I can't. ALF.

274
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,864
We're not keeping the car.

275
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:53,998
What?

276
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,033
Why not, dad?

277
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,401
Yeah, Willie, how come?

278
00:13:56,403 --> 00:14:00,872
- Because it's wrong.
- "Because it's wrong."

279
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:04,542
Why don't we just needlepoint
that into a sampler?

280
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:08,213
Look, we're not keeping a car
that costs 60 thousand--

281
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,148
- Ninety.
- Ninety thousand.

282
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,117
[mumbling]
Ninety thousand dollars.

283
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,519
What's bugging you, Willie?

284
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,155
Is it that your daughter drives
a better car than you do?

285
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,924
That has nothing to do with it.

286
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:22,861
We are returning this car.
Call Joel.

287
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:27,365
I can't. He's in Palm Springs
till Thursday.

288
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:31,069
Dad, please. I'll let you drive
my car anytime you want.

289
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:34,305
You wanna see how
the Gucci airbag works?

290
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:37,008
It's obvious, you cannot
have a rational conversation

291
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,443
in the presence of a Ferrari.

292
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,578
Alright.
We'll go into the kitchen.

293
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:43,514
No, we'll go into the kitchen.
You stay here.

294
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:48,186
Come on, Lynn.
Don't touch that airbag.

295
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:51,089
Fine.
I'll just preset the radio.

296
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,625
[chuckling]
Joel.

297
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:02,233
I know what you're thinking, I'm
the ogre, I'm the wet blanket.

298
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,968
Willie, no one is thinking that.

299
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,370
- I am.
- Me too.

300
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:06,638
I see.

301
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,574
Dad, you're not being fair,
the car was a gift.

302
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:13,077
No, no, no. No.
A gift is a tie tack.

303
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,480
A...pen and pencil set,
maybe a bowl.

304
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,251
We have all of those.
We need a car.

305
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,954
Look, I think we're losing sight
of what we agreed on here.

306
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,190
That things are appreciated more
when they're earned.

307
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,393
Not when they're
just handed to us.

308
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,495
There's no way I could
appreciate this more.

309
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,430
I'm sorry, Lynn. I'm sorry.

310
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:36,034
I just don't think that
a 16-year-old girl should have

311
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,369
a $90,000 Ferrari.

312
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,272
Unless she's a...
professional tennis player.

313
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,342
I'm not above
taking tennis lessons.

314
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,277
I don't think that's
what your father meant.

315
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,047
I'm afraid the car
is going back.

316
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,283
This is insane. We're actually
gonna give back a free Ferrari.

317
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,419
Yes we are,
first thing tomorrow.

318
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,254
But Joel's in Palm Springs.

319
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,323
I'll talk to Shektor.
I'll talk to Klein.

320
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,291
It doesn't matter.
Lynn, I'm sorry.

321
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:03,695
Uh, I'm sorry about this.
But this is the way I feel.

322
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,597
And I think in time..

323
00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,666
...you'll come to
respect my decision.

324
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,303
It-it may not be today..

325
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:16,341
Obviously, it won't be today.

326
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:17,608
It won't be tomorrow either.

327
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,279
[engine revving]

328
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,681
- Willie?
- No, no, no.

329
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,984
This is not happening.

330
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,685
[tires screeching]

331
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:32,290
Oh, my God.

332
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:35,026
ALF laid rubber.

333
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,427
He's gone.

334
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,296
There's an alien out there
on the road somewhere

335
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,064
in a red Ferrari.

336
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,366
Maybe no one will notice.

337
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:44,168
What do we, dad?
We can't call the police.

338
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,570
We can't call the auto club.

339
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,438
We-we can't even call Joel.

340
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,207
Well, he wouldn't have
gotten very far.

341
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,442
Kate, that car goes
a 180 miles an hour.

342
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,479
He could be in Mexico by now.
We've got no choice.

343
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,080
We've got to call the police.

344
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,282
[telephone ringing]

345
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,757
- Hello?
- Alright, alright.

346
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:07,558
I'm gonna go out,
I'm gonna go next door

347
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,227
I'm gonna try to borrow
Trevor's car..

348
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,130
- Dad, it's for you.
- Not now, not no..

349
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,465
Just tell whoever it is
I'll-I'll call 'em back later.

350
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,235
He's gonna have to
call you back later, ALF.

351
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,237
ALF! ALF.

352
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,605
Willie, my man.

353
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:25,343
I gotta tell you
this thing flies like the wind.

354
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,378
Where are you,
where, what happened?

355
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:31,249
I don't know, all I did was
turn the engine on

356
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:34,385
before I knew it,
I was on the freeway.

357
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,453
What freeway?

358
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,655
The one headed for Oxnard.

359
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:42,760
Hey, while I'm there, I think
I'll check out that mango farm.

360
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,529
Forget the mango farm.

361
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,364
That's easy for you to say.

362
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,300
You're not a limited partner.

363
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,235
Nice move, buddy.

364
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,537
Yeah, you're another one.

365
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,206
Willie, where is he?

366
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,741
He's on his way to Oxnard.

367
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,109
Oxnard..

368
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,444
ALF, ALF,
pull off the road.

369
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,611
Pull the car off the road.

370
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:03,548
I can't, I'm in the fast lane.

371
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,183
Although, you'd never
know it by the way

372
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,717
these clowns are driving.

373
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,352
[car horn honking]
Come on, lady!

374
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,388
This ain't a parade.

375
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:14,092
ALF, don't yell at the other
drivers, they'll see you.

376
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:17,261
No way, I'm driving too fast.

377
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,397
Hey!
Ever hear of a turn signal?

378
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,499
Just look, ALF.
Listen to me.

379
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,401
Look at the road signs,
try to find out.

380
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,137
Locate exactly where you are.

381
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:30,608
Well, uh, I just passed
The Motel 6.

382
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,544
Hey, they're having
a beekeeper's convention.

383
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,814
Ouch! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ooh, gotta go.

384
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,584
Tell me!
Tell me where you are!

385
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,220
(ALF)
'Okay, okay,
I'm right near the..'

386
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,821
ALF! ALF..

387
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,190
Got disconnected.

388
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,458
Oh, no!

389
00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,262
Look, I can't give
you any more information.

390
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,931
I just need to know which one
of your motels is having

391
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,466
a beekeeper's convention?

392
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,468
They all are?

393
00:18:58,438 --> 00:18:59,403
Thank you very much.

394
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,274
- Well?
- Nothing.

395
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,710
We even went to the police
to see if there'd been a report

396
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:09,647
but, you know, aside from a pig
falling off of a U-Haul trailer

397
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,883
and an inordinate
number of bee stings

398
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,417
it-it's really,
it's been quite a quiet night.

399
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,719
[tires screeching]

400
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:15,953
ALF!

401
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,622
[crashing]

402
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,894
[groaning]

403
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,833
ALF!
ALF, are you okay?

404
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,836
Don't worry, I'm fine.

405
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,339
But this phone is
a piece of junk.

406
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,741
I'm gonna call Joel
just as soon as

407
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,343
he gets back from the Springs.

408
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:41,879
Forget the phone.
Forget Joel.

409
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:46,417
You've just crashed
into our garage..

410
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,620
...for the second time,
I might point out.

411
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:52,723
I'm sorry, Willie.
I really am.

412
00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,892
I think I might need glasses.

413
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,862
Glasses?

414
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,998
I think you might
need a lawyer!

415
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,733
Now, Willie, calm down.

416
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,504
May I just say to you

417
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,373
I think it's very
irresponsible of you to take

418
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,008
the car out
on the road like this

419
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,512
to endanger your life
and the lives of others

420
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:17,682
and to make us worry.

421
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,284
And this sort of thing
seems to be repeating itself

422
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:23,321
over and over again.

423
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,489
There have been
some fun times.

424
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:27,391
Tell him, Kate.

425
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,427
There have been
some fun times, ALF.

426
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,463
A lot of fun times,
but this isn't one of 'em.

427
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,333
Look at what you've done!

428
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,801
Alright, alright, calm down.

429
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,537
Don't worry about it, Willie.
I'll pay for it.

430
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,672
And how do you
propose to do that?

431
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:45,610
Well, I'll call Joel tomorrow,
I'll sell the car.

432
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:48,613
And we'll use the money
to fix the garage.

433
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,848
You'll do that?
You'll call Joel?

434
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:52,817
Well, actually,
it'll be Joel's assistant.

435
00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:58,522
Because, as I have mentioned,
Joel is in the Springs.

436
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:00,424
That sounds fair,
doesn't it, Willie?

437
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,692
I suppose so.

438
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,595
I-I suppose it does, ALF.

439
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:07,398
- I'm glad you weren't hurt.
- Thanks.

440
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:11,302
'Course, I'll want a complete
physical before I sign anything.

441
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,704
Just kidding, just kidding.

442
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,006
[telephone ringing]

443
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:18,576
Oh, that'll be Mrs. Ochmonek
about the hedge.

444
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,444
The hedge?

445
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:22,413
I'll get it.

446
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,714
(male #1)
'Mr. Tanner?'

447
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,651
Uh, that'll be the people
across the street.

448
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,587
Does your insurance
cover front porches?

449
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:32,490
I'll be right back.
Don't leave town.

450
00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:38,462
ALF, I don't think I can ever
repay you for what you've done.

451
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:40,097
[police siren wailing]

452
00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:42,600
What have you done?

453
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,736
Well, uh, I ran over
a few front lawns.

454
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:48,306
Clipped a couple of jay trees.

455
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:49,573
The rest is a blur.

456
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:53,311
I better go see
if I can help out.

457
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,579
[siren wailing]

458
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:57,615
[helicopter blades whirring]

459
00:21:58,618 --> 00:22:00,618
Think I'll turn in
early tonight.

460
00:22:05,058 --> 00:22:06,657
(ALF)
'Socket wrench.'

461
00:22:12,565 --> 00:22:13,998
Gasket.

462
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:20,571
Gum.

463
00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:32,583
Say, I know you don't
like me to ask but..

464
00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:34,518
What's going on here?

465
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,054
I'm getting the old
crate in shape, William.

466
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:38,089
You're fixing my car?

467
00:22:38,091 --> 00:22:41,092
Hey, we have to
save what we can.

468
00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:43,761
Did I tell you
the mango grove went under?

469
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:45,062
You mean, it went
out of business?

470
00:22:45,064 --> 00:22:47,498
Nope, it went under.

471
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:49,734
What is a fault line, anyway?

472
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:51,068
Under the ground?

473
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:53,871
- Is that what Joel told you?
- I trust him.

474
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,773
I'm gonna ask him
for the details

475
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,842
when he gets back
from Paraguay.

476
00:22:57,844 --> 00:23:01,479
Anyway, there you go.
You're a one car family again.

477
00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:03,080
Well, thanks.

478
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,482
- Ahh!
- No!

479
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:06,550
[laughing]
Just kidding.

480
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:08,085
See? Ha.

481
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:11,989
- Why do you do that to me?
- Because it's funny, man.

482
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:15,126
Say, uh..

483
00:23:15,128 --> 00:23:17,194
Where'd you ever learn about
fixing cars anyway?

484
00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:20,698
I used to watch "Route 66."
You pick things up.

485
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,634
That's amazing.

486
00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,803
I'll tell you
what's more amazing.

487
00:23:25,805 --> 00:23:29,840
That George Maharis
never got another series.

488
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:32,943
Anyway, the car's
purring like a kitten.

489
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:35,780
Which reminds me,
I'm hungry.

490
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:37,915
ALF, uh, I don't
know what to say.

491
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,216
I don't know how to
thank you for this.

492
00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:41,152
No problem.

493
00:23:41,154 --> 00:23:45,623
I-I think I'll just, uh..
I think I'll just back up.

494
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:47,158
Take it out for a spin.

495
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,061
'Whoa! No!'

496
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:54,932
Crowbar.

497
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:59,103
[instrumental music]

498
00:24:04,177 --> 00:24:07,178
[theme music]

499
00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:27,064
[music continues]

500
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,671
<i> [ALF laughing]</i>