1
00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:04,003
No, David,
you can't sleep over here
2
00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:07,039
because, um, uh, um..
3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,041
Tell him the house
is being painted.
4
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:12,011
I told him that last time.
5
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:13,712
Tell him
the basement's flooded.
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,347
The basement's flooded.
7
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,618
- Okay, bye.
- The basement's flooded?
8
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,220
Well, why didn't
somebody tell me?
9
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,554
No, the basement's fine.
10
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,889
See, David wanted to sleepover
11
00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,491
and Brian was telling him
why he can't.
12
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:28,460
Brian, you shouldn't lie.
13
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,197
Hello, is the doctor in?
14
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,266
Hello?
15
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:40,806
Unless, of course, the truth has
an arrow through his head.
16
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,274
Ha!
17
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,813
[theme music]
18
00:00:57,158 --> 00:01:00,325
[no audio]
19
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,843
[music continues]
20
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:51,543
I just want you to know
how I feel about lying.
21
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,412
Dad's always been against it.
22
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,714
Even though there are
certain situations
23
00:01:55,716 --> 00:02:00,486
in which lying is not as wrong
as it is in other situations
24
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:04,957
I want you to know that
lying is always wrong.
25
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,792
You understand
what I'm saying?
26
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,827
Do you?
27
00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,729
I'm working at it.
28
00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:14,733
Hey, Willie, look at this.
29
00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,303
It's a squirting flower.
30
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,571
Am I working it right?
31
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:22,841
Uh, I think you got
the basic idea.
32
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,009
Where'd you get that?
33
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:27,613
I sent away for a whole box
of this stuff.
34
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:31,717
That Taiwan must be
the most fun place on Earth.
35
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,685
[doorbell dings]
36
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,288
Oh, ALF, uh, you better
go to the kitchen.
37
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:39,258
But I didn't show
you the fake vomit.
38
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,294
Save that for dinner.
39
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,497
Of course, where's my mind.
40
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,602
Don't even think about it.
41
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,542
Oh, hello, Mrs. Ochmonek.
42
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,310
You should really answer
the door more quickly.
43
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:02,347
- I was getting ready to leave.
- I'm so sorry.
44
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,417
You're all wet.
Is the basement flooded again?
45
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,388
Dad was squirted by a flower.
46
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,957
Oh, Trevor wanted to buy
one of those things.
47
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,959
I just put my foot down.
48
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,327
Good for you.
49
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,562
I locked myself out.
50
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:18,197
Would it be alright
if I stayed here
51
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,531
till Trevor came home?
52
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:23,302
Well, uh, I-I don't know.
53
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,736
Can I ask you something?
54
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,373
Why is there always
hair on your couch?
55
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,542
Well, we, uh..
56
00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:33,078
Uh, we-we had a dog..
57
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,747
...and then he ran away.
58
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,916
Years ago.
59
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,252
Before we knew you.
60
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:41,820
Psst. Psst.
61
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,089
What was that?
62
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,994
Uh, that, uh..
63
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,164
Uh-uh, that must be
the pipe acting up again.
64
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:54,399
Oh, that pipe.
65
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:59,571
That pipe, I-I think
I'll go wrap it in tape.
66
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,908
[squeaking]
67
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,483
One of the dog's old toys.
68
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,953
What is it?
69
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:17,689
What?
70
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,933
[laughing]
71
00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:31,303
You amaze me.
72
00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:34,406
You're 229 years old
73
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,575
and that's what
you think is funny?
74
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,477
Can we talk about this
some other time?
75
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,780
I have to make number four.
76
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:44,650
Uh, how am I supposed
to get rid of Mrs. Ochmonek?
77
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:47,819
I don't know, tell her about
that interesting fishing trip
78
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:51,023
you went on with your father.
That'll do it.
79
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,927
Oh, hey, Willie, come here.
80
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,062
Yeah.
81
00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:00,732
[laughing]
82
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,036
Oh, I kill me.
83
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:09,007
- You're all wet again.
- Uh, yeah. I, uh..
84
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,177
- Did another pipe burst?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
85
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,845
That's right, yeah, yeah.
86
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,681
Right, oh-oh,
uh, Mrs. Ochmonek
87
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,082
uh, would you mind, uh, uh, uh
88
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,351
facing the door
just for a moment, please?
89
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:20,752
Why?
90
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,656
Oh, I don't know.
91
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,927
I think, I'll wait for Trevor
by the curb.
92
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,199
[Willie sighs]
93
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:39,071
Never mind,
the moment has passed.
94
00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,943
[instrumental music]
95
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,916
[snoring]
96
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,685
[beeping]
97
00:05:56,056 --> 00:05:57,789
[beeping]
98
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,126
[snoring]
99
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:02,394
[beeping]
100
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:03,562
ALF.
101
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,164
- ALF.
- What? What? What?
102
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,499
What are you doing?
103
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:10,535
Well, I was sleeping
'til you woke me up!
104
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:14,039
Well, since when do you
sleep standing up?
105
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:18,543
Since I started sleeping
with that box on my head.
106
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,812
You look ridiculous.
107
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,548
Well, not everyone
sleeps like you.
108
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:27,085
Mouth open,
drooling on the pillow.
109
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:33,158
How do you know
how I look when I sleep?
110
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:37,095
I go into your bedroom at night
and watch you and Kate.
111
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,231
I don't like you doing that.
112
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,900
Well, hey, you were watching me.
113
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,537
I couldn't sleep. I came out
to get a glass of milk.
114
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,774
I heard you.. Ah!
115
00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:51,943
Oh, good, it works.
116
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,112
ALF, there are
tacks on the floor.
117
00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:58,583
It's my alarm system,
in case a burglar shows up.
118
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,621
Getting one of your
headaches again?
119
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:05,624
You know what's
good for that? Jogging.
120
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,459
I've been doing
a lot of it lately.
121
00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:10,028
I don't think jogging
is the answer.
122
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,198
You've been jogging?
123
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,767
Yeah, you can really
see the definition
124
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,702
in my thigh muscles.
125
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:22,274
You actually go outside
126
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:26,044
in the street
where people can see you?
127
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:30,215
I jog at night.
And I wear a dark headband.
128
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:36,321
Um, uh, I'm gonna go back
to bed and drool..
129
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,557
[screaming]
130
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:51,903
[Kate sighs]
131
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,672
Did you get your milk?
132
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:57,042
No, I stepped on the tack.
133
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:03,915
Do these things
ever get to you?
134
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:07,252
No, I-I usually wear slippers.
135
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:11,990
I'm talking about...
the things ALF does.
136
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:14,626
You know, tacks
on the floor
137
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,028
jogging, hair on the couch
138
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:20,599
squirting flowers,
fish in the dryer.
139
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,368
When did he put
fish in the dryer?
140
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:27,606
Well, he hasn't...yet.
141
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:31,176
You know, you could
talk to someone about ALF.
142
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,613
I thought I was.
143
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:37,115
No, no, no, I mean,
someone outside the family
144
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,017
somebody who's not
so close to the thing.
145
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:44,623
But that's just the point, Kate,
I can't tell anyone about ALF.
146
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,892
How about Larry?
He's a psychologist.
147
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,828
- A psychologist? Kate--
- No, no, no,
148
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:53,198
I mean, you can trust him. He's
not allowed to tell anyone.
149
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,034
Oh, I don't know. Ah..
150
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,803
- I-I'll think about it.
- Okay.
151
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,171
Now, we gotta get some sleep.
152
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:02,707
Now, I gotta get up
early in the morning
153
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,409
get a tetanus shot.
154
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,682
Oh, I'm sorry.
155
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:13,752
I thought you guys
would be asleep.
156
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,156
I guess it wouldn't hurt
to give Larry a call.
157
00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,068
What are you lookin' at?
158
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:37,042
Well, Mr. O'Hara,
I'll see you next week, okay?
159
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,844
And, uh, on your way home, keep
telling yourself over and over
160
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:43,315
there's no such thing
as a space creature.
161
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,052
- Hi, Willie.
- Hi, Larr.
162
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,553
- I'm next.
- Uh..
163
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:51,089
You still have ten minutes
before your session. Come on in.
164
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,724
I don't wanna take up
any of your time.
165
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:55,093
- You mean, my time.
- Come on in.
166
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,332
In nine minutes,
I'm comin' in there.
167
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,936
Hey, Willie.
Whoa, whoa, what's that?
168
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:07,238
Hey, come on, what's that?
169
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,873
Hey, what brings you
to these parts, huh?
170
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,375
Oh, I don't know,
uh, nothing much.
171
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:13,144
I just happened to be
in the neighborhood and..
172
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:16,381
Gosh, I thought that
all psychologists had couches.
173
00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,650
Well, I used to have one,
but I kept falling asleep on it.
174
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,852
[laughing]
175
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,724
Well, I guess, I, uh,
I guess I oughta be going.
176
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,992
No, well, why don't you
wait outside?
177
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,159
I'll finish this session and, uh
178
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,894
we can have lunch together.
179
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,164
Hey, Willie,
is everything alright?
180
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,232
Yeah.
181
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,936
- Anything on your mind?
- No, no.
182
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,005
- No problems at home?
- No, no.
183
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,141
Just the usual, you know,
nothing, nothing major
184
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:46,344
nothing, nothing really out of..
185
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,017
I have a creature
from outer space living with me.
186
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,487
[laughing]
187
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:59,290
Well, there's a lot
of that going around.
188
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,525
Sit down.
189
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,094
This is ALF.
190
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,532
It's not really a..
It's not a very good picture.
191
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,437
I know I should be..
192
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,039
I should really be thrilled
having someone
193
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,007
as extraordinary as
that living with me
194
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:21,846
but believe me,
it-it has its drawbacks.
195
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:24,315
Uh-uh, he's got some
wonderful qualities
196
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,884
I admit that, but he..
197
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:30,221
Uh, he can be, well...irksome.
198
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,723
'You know, one minute
he's explaining'
199
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,125
the mysteries of the universe
and the next minute
200
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,295
he's putting
fake vomit on my pillow.
201
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,400
I-I don't know anymore, Larry.
202
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:46,705
Uh, as a friend,
what do you think?
203
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,907
I think I want my couch back.
204
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,981
Well, Larry, there's really
no need for you to come over.
205
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,483
Come on, I wanna help.
I wanna help.
206
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:01,019
I'm a psychologist.
Anyway, I wanna meet this thing.
207
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,854
Alright, but..
208
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,557
...don't call him a-a thing.
209
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,093
He-he's really very sensitive.
210
00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:10,929
You're talking about me,
aren't you?
211
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,530
No, we weren't.
No, we weren't.
212
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,600
That figures, nobody ever talks
about me, Dr. Dykstra
213
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:19,003
except me, and I have to
pay you to listen to it.
214
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:28,079
[instrumental music]
215
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,181
Oh, Brian, uh,
would you get ALF?
216
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:33,518
- I think he's in the garage.
- Okay.
217
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,254
I wanted to, uh,
sort of prepare ALF
218
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,856
a little before
Larry gets here.
219
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,190
Mm-hmm.
220
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,725
I think that ALF
will like Larry.
221
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,961
Well, I bet,
Larry'll like ALF.
222
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:45,463
This isn't a blind date.
223
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,899
Larry's coming over
here to observe
224
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,367
and to make suggestions
225
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,971
about how we can
better deal with ALF.
226
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:56,207
Oh, look, another
fly in the ice cube.
227
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,609
ALF's really getting
his money's worth
228
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,144
out of this joke kit.
229
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,914
Can you make this fast?
230
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,650
I'm in the middle
of drying fish.
231
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,619
Where?
232
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:09,487
Out on the back porch. Why?
233
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,823
I was just wondering.
234
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:15,326
ALF, we have
a little surprise.
235
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,662
Don't tell me you're serving
Lucky for dinner.
236
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:21,800
Because if you are
I want to rent a tux.
237
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,335
No, ALF, we're having
a guest over.
238
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,905
Oh, I get it,
and the surprise is
239
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,073
I have to stay
hidden all evening.
240
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:33,745
No, actually, the guest
is coming here to see you.
241
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:35,747
Uh-huh. I see.
242
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,949
- You do?
- Oh, sure.
243
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,450
You never let anyone
see me before
244
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,287
and suddenly you
invite someone over.
245
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,189
It's obvious what's happening.
246
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,758
This guy's from
the Alien Task Force.
247
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,359
You people are turning me in!
248
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:52,497
Oh, ALF, no, the man's
an old friend of mine.
249
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,165
He's a psychologist.
250
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:59,337
I assure you, you-you have
nothing to worry about.
251
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:00,605
Okay, let's eat.
252
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:04,542
Uh, no, no, I wanted to wait
until Larry gets here.
253
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,211
Well, is this guy always late?
254
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,713
No, he'll be here.
He'll be here any minute.
255
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:11,850
You're gonna have to chew
with your mouth closed tonight.
256
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:17,956
Alright. But on my planet
that's considered very rude!
257
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:20,658
People think you're
hiding something.
258
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:25,129
ALF, um, do you know
what a psychologist is?
259
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,399
Sure, I know
all about psychology.
260
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,736
I used to watch
the old "Bob Newhart Show."
261
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:35,240
So why is this guy Larry
coming over?
262
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,409
He's-he's going
to observe things.
263
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,978
- Observe things?
- Mm-hmm.
264
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,512
Like what?
265
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,549
(Willie)
Well, like how
the family, how..
266
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,253
How the family interacts
267
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,755
uh, how-how we
get along together.
268
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:54,759
Oh, what's he gonna do?
Put me under a microscope?
269
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,161
Analyze everything I say?
270
00:14:57,163 --> 00:14:59,497
Ask me questions
about my childhood?
271
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:00,498
[doorbell dings]
272
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,268
- Oh, no!
- ALF, calm down.
273
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:06,771
Right, right, calm, calm.
274
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,106
I'm calm.
275
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,742
Yeah, yeah,
Larry's not gonna think
276
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:13,611
I'm the crazy one.
277
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,281
- Uh, hi, Larry.
- Hi, Willie, how are you?
278
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,082
Hey, you're lookin' great.
279
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:21,152
Hi, Kate. Oh, my God!
280
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,291
I take it he's the alien?
281
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,695
Hiya, Larry.
282
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:37,769
Nice firm handshake
I've got there, huh?
283
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,570
Good sign, right?
284
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:43,308
ALF, don't kiss up.
285
00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,643
Uh, Lynnie, why don't you
go check the pork chops?
286
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,345
Okay. Come on, Bri.
287
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,717
So, uh, what do you
think of our planet?
288
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,719
Oh, I like it a lot, Larry.
289
00:15:54,721 --> 00:16:00,158
I just wish there was
more love and less war.
290
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,661
Not something
a psychotic would say, right?
291
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,064
- Oh, ALF.
- What?
292
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,169
So, uh, what's new
in your life, Larry?
293
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,437
Oh, uh, nothing.
294
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,239
Still packing them
four deep on the couch.
295
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,075
Four deep on the couch!
296
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:19,744
[laughing]
297
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:24,148
I think we get the point, ALF.
298
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,584
- Dinner's ready.
- Oh, good.
299
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:31,589
After a hearty laugh like that,
it's time for a hearty meal.
300
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,292
Every meal's
a hearty meal for ALF.
301
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:37,628
Wait till you see this guy eat.
302
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,932
Why don't we let our guest
sit at the head of the table?
303
00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:45,269
(Willie)
My, aren't we polite,
all of a sudden.
304
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:48,039
Well, everything
looks lovely, Kate.
305
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,708
You've outdone yourself again.
306
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,876
Thank you.
307
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:55,046
Excuse me, but can
someone please pass me
308
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:58,182
the white boiled potatoes?
309
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,051
Did ALF say please?
310
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,286
Did ALF say pass?
311
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:05,323
Come on, Larry, chow down.
312
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:08,226
ALF loves to chow down.
313
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,395
I have a healthy appetite.
314
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,130
Nothing wrong with that,
is there?
315
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,831
No.
316
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,500
See, Willie?
317
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,001
I didn't say
anything was wrong.
318
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,903
I was just making a comment.
319
00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:23,908
People don't just make comments,
they mean things by them.
320
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,476
Right, Larr?
321
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,980
[burping]
322
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,581
ALF, please.
323
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,750
Just making some room
for the meal.
324
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:36,754
That's not something
one does at the dinner table.
325
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,924
I'm sorry, Larry.
Where are my manners?
326
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,493
You don't have any manners.
327
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,928
Well, you know,
in some countries
328
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,197
it's considered a compliment
if you burp after eating.
329
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,665
Oh, yes, yes.
330
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:52,403
Sometimes ALF can be
very, very complimentary.
331
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,540
So, Larr, what do you think
about this Nicaragua thing?
332
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:59,343
ALF, why are you talking
about Nicaragua?
333
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:02,447
We always discuss politics
at the table.
334
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:06,117
No, we never discuss politics
at the dinner table.
335
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,919
We discuss hair in the food
336
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:10,455
we discuss what appliances
you've broken.
337
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:12,390
I'm sorry, Larry,
this is really
338
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:16,394
this is not at all the way
ALF normally behaves.
339
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:19,564
Oh, how do I behave?
340
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,633
Well, generally, you do
disgusting, gross things.
341
00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,903
Uh-uh, go on, then, show him.
D-do something disgusting.
342
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:29,474
(Brian)
Yeah, make milk come
through your nose.
343
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,442
Brian, don't encourage him.
344
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,911
Would you like some more
potatoes? They're very tasty.
345
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:37,482
He doesn't care about potatoes.
Show him the vomit.
346
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:42,553
Willie, please,
I'm trying to eat.
347
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:46,157
Honestly, Larry, it-it isn't
always quite like this.
348
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,326
I have a little exercise
that might work, guys.
349
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,927
It's called role reversal.
350
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,598
Now, Willie, you become ALF,
and ALF becomes Willie.
351
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,399
That sounds like a good idea.
352
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,336
Oh, I-I-I don't think so.
353
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,605
Afraid of a little
personal growth, perhaps?
354
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:05,109
No, I am not afraid. I just..
I-I think it's silly.
355
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:07,678
Come on, Willie, give it a try.
Larry knows what he's doing.
356
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,348
Yeah, come on, dad, ALF
does a great impression of you.
357
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:13,484
Oh, alright.
We wouldn't want to miss that.
358
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:16,020
Okay, since, uh,
since we're at the dinner table
359
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,356
let's just act like
we would at the dinner table
360
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:21,659
and we can start off by you,
Willie, being ALF.
361
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,330
[imitating ALF]
Food, food, give me more food!
362
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:29,534
Oh, I haven't had a meal in,
oh, a half an hour.
363
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,902
Ha!
364
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,705
Oh, no, ALF. No, no.
365
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,207
No food for you.
366
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,609
You already ate last month.
367
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:43,381
No, no, no.
I don't sound like that.
368
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,782
Oh, come on, Willie,
you're doing fine.
369
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,852
- Come on, keep going.
- Alright.
370
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,387
[imitates ALF burping]
371
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:50,888
[imitating ALF]
I've finished my meal. Uh..
372
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:55,960
I guess I'll watch TV, while
everybody else does the dishes.
373
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:59,564
[imitating Willie]
I think we watch enough TV
in this house.
374
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,733
We should do something
more stimulating.
375
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:07,305
I know, let's conjugate verbs.
376
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,073
[imitating ALF]
No, how about..
377
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:12,710
How about we just break things?
378
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,913
[imitating Willie]
Oh, no, no. That would be wrong.
379
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:19,016
Wro.. Wrong!
380
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,719
[imitating ALF]
Alright, then,
how about if we, um
381
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,088
how about if we eat
the cat, then?
382
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,791
How ya doin', Lucky?
383
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:33,564
[imitating Willie]
Sorry, household rule number 856
384
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,601
subsection D, paragraph two
385
00:20:36,603 --> 00:20:39,670
"We do not eat the cat."
386
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:42,206
[imitating ALF]
Uh, rules, schmules.
I hate rules.
387
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:45,710
I like.. I like anarchy.
388
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,612
[imitating Willie]
Well, I don't
believe in anarchy.
389
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,615
It's much too spontaneous.
390
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,883
Oh, look, look how
late it's getting
391
00:20:52,885 --> 00:20:55,219
and I still have
to lay out my clothes
392
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:58,089
for the rest of the year.
393
00:20:58,091 --> 00:20:59,290
That's it. This isn't helping.
394
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:01,459
- I quit.
- I win.
395
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,628
ALF, there are no winners
in this thing.
396
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,697
- Well, I was ahead on points.
- That's not true.
397
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,199
Well, I think I've heard enough.
398
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:10,468
I mean, you guys obviously
don't get along, okay?
399
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:13,304
I-I think, uh,
ALF should move out.
400
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,139
- Move out?
- Move out?
401
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,741
What does he mean, move out?
402
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:18,709
Are you sayin' that ALF
should get a place of his own?
403
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:22,947
Well, that-that's crazy.
Do you know what rents are?
404
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,482
What am I talking about?
405
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,618
You can move in with me.
I've got an extra room.
406
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,820
ALF, you're not going anywhere.
407
00:21:29,822 --> 00:21:31,322
Why not?
408
00:21:31,324 --> 00:21:33,457
Because people
would find him out.
409
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,059
Why do you care?
410
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:37,561
Well, I don't want
anything to happen to him.
411
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:41,265
Uh-huh. You do care
what happens to ALF.
412
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,334
Well, of course I care.
413
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,670
I always did.
414
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:50,975
I-I-I just think that sometimes,
it seems that..
415
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:55,446
...that ALF doesn't care
a heck of a lot about me.
416
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,581
Not care?
417
00:21:57,583 --> 00:22:00,017
Not care about the guy
who's protected me
418
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:05,423
and provided for me
for all these months?
419
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:08,192
You-you appreciated all of that?
420
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,594
Of course, I appreciate it.
421
00:22:10,596 --> 00:22:13,998
Hey, if you got
a problem, let's talk.
422
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,035
I mean, if fake vomit's
not your cup of tea
423
00:22:18,037 --> 00:22:19,370
I'll lose it.
424
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,639
Oh, yeah, I'd appreciate that.
425
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,975
And, uh, in return,
I'll-I'll, uh..
426
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:30,047
...I'll-I'll really try
to be...more flexible.
427
00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:33,617
Hey, see what a little
communication can do?
428
00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:37,455
Well, I think we've all become
a little closer here.
429
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:40,224
We should toast this occasion.
430
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:42,159
(Kate)
That's a good idea.
431
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:44,862
Now, come on, dad, make a toast.
432
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,564
Well, uh..
433
00:22:46,566 --> 00:22:50,501
Alright, uh, to, to, uh..
434
00:22:50,503 --> 00:22:51,969
Communication.
435
00:22:51,971 --> 00:22:54,538
[chuckles]
Communication.
436
00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:04,749
And to, uh, dribble glasses.
437
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:05,983
Ha!
438
00:23:09,088 --> 00:23:12,123
[all laughing]
439
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:23,367
[groans]
Oh, hi, ALF.
440
00:23:23,369 --> 00:23:24,835
Hi, Willie.
441
00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:29,006
Night, ALF.
442
00:23:29,008 --> 00:23:30,674
Night, Willie.
443
00:23:37,283 --> 00:23:39,283
[instrumental music]
444
00:23:44,690 --> 00:23:47,858
[theme music]
445
00:24:11,651 --> 00:24:14,552
[ALF laughing]