1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:04,536
- Now, you have everything, B?
- I think so.

2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,472
Yo! Everybody
up for "Jeopardy!"

3
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,941
raise their hand
and give me a dollar.

4
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,977
Sorry, ALF,
I'm jeapord-ied out.

5
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:13,445
How about you, Kate?

6
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,214
You must be over yesterday's

7
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,483
trouncing by now.

8
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,718
I'm taking Brian
to his scout meeting.

9
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,022
But you haven't heard the
new categories I thought up.

10
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:24,857
Martian tourist traps.

11
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,692
Girls named Fred.

12
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:29,361
Places you itch.

13
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,963
We're leaving. Bye.

14
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,401
Say, hey,
Willie Mayes.

15
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:39,471
How about a fun-filled,
fast-paced game of "Jeopardy!"

16
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,040
You cheat.

17
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,742
William,
I'm appalled.

18
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:44,877
I'm aghast.

19
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,578
You're a cheater.

20
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,747
I do not cheat.

21
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:51,984
I just memorize
the answers in advance.

22
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:55,154
Not like I have a lot
to do around here, you know.

23
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:58,757
I'm going out to the
garage to work on my ham radio

24
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,559
and while I'm gone,
I'd appreciate it

25
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,162
If you did not put
any portion of this house

26
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:08,934
in jeopardy, double jeopardy,
or final jeopardy.

27
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,602
What are you worried
about, Willie?

28
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,939
We hit your deductible
$10,000 ago.

29
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,142
Goodbye.

30
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,346
Now entering our studio

31
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,881
a college freshman

32
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,417
originally
from Los Angeles, California.

33
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,187
Say hello
to Lynn Tanner.

34
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,289
[imitates crowd cheering]

35
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:33,425
ALF, two weeks
of that game is enough.

36
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,127
I'm going to aerobics.

37
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,596
Alright, look,
I'll give you an easy one.

38
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:41,433
He's the 3'2" alien
from an exploded planet

39
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:44,136
who's currently
bored to tears.

40
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:46,238
ALF.

41
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,907
Form of a question,
please!

42
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,342
[door shuts]

43
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,046
[theme music]

44
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,340
[instrumental music]

45
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,482
Need some help?

46
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,585
No, I can do this
myself. Thanks.

47
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:11,690
Uh-uh-uh, uh-uh.

48
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,525
Do you mind?

49
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,294
It's your radio.

50
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:16,895
Or should I say,
your soon to be

51
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:19,364
smoldering heap
of electrical debris.

52
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,745
Alright, uh,
what I doing wrong here?

53
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:38,750
Nope. Far be it for me to come
between a man and his hobby.

54
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:42,654
Well, could you
far be it from me, please?

55
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:45,190
But there's nothing good on TV.

56
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,326
And I've read all the books
in the house.

57
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:49,995
And I know it's on the top shelf
of every one of your closets.

58
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:55,334
You were quite the letter-writer
in your day, Sugarlips.

59
00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,805
Stay out of my letters.

60
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,175
What are you trying
to do here?

61
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,577
Trying to upgrade
the auto monitor.

62
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:06,745
Why?

63
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:09,014
So I can talk
to Australia.

64
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,583
Does the word "telephone"
ring a bell?

65
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,785
Well, it would defeat
the purpose, ALF.

66
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,355
The whole idea of a ham radio
is the challenge

67
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:20,225
the real challenge,
man against machine.

68
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,594
Good old American
know-how.

69
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,298
Right. And you ain't going
to fix this no how.

70
00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:30,068
I'm retooling the monitor

71
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:34,439
so that when I bump from
satellite to trans-Oceanic

72
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,542
my Phelp switch doesn't
alter frequency.

73
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,311
What, is that all?

74
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,514
All? I've been working
on that for three months.

75
00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,219
There.
That'll do it.

76
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:48,553
See ya.

77
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,157
Oh.

78
00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,358
Yeah, right.

79
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,061
Right.

80
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,230
[static]

81
00:04:58,232 --> 00:05:00,065
(man on radio)
'Hello? Anyone there?'

82
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:04,403
Hello?

83
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,472
(man on radio)
'G'day, mate.
You're clear as a bell. Over.'

84
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,944
Yo. What's up, scout?

85
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,180
I'm working on
my bachelor living badge.

86
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:16,448
Can I help?

87
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,417
You know anything
about bachelor living?

88
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,086
Well, I've eaten
cold pizza for breakfast

89
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:23,522
and grown things
in the fridge.

90
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,657
"The bachelor living
badge is for

91
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,326
"basic homemaking skills

92
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,928
for our fast-paced
and changing culture."

93
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:33,165
My last requirement
is to prepare a balanced meal.

94
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:35,434
Is that it?

95
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:38,704
On Melmac, to get
a bachelor living badge

96
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,505
they left you out in a field

97
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,541
with only
twigs and bark

98
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:45,877
and you had a week
to build a single's bar.

99
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,947
I'm going to make
suggested menu number three.

100
00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,149
Turkey salad sandwiches,
broccoli spears

101
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,884
and cheddar cheese cubes.

102
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,786
Boring!

103
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:57,856
It has something from each
of the four basic food groups.

104
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,192
So does
Trevor's blue tie

105
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,627
but I wouldn't want
to eat it for lunch.

106
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,629
Are you going
to help me or not?

107
00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,665
Well, it's not
as challenging

108
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,668
as building a mirror ball
out of dried leaves

109
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:11,636
but it's better
than nothing.

110
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,605
Here, you can take care
of the broccoli.

111
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,477
¶ Dun-dun dun-dun
dun-dah! ¶

112
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,746
¶ Dun-dun dun-dun
dun-dah! ¶¶

113
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,081
There.
I took care of it.

114
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,055
I don't know
about this.

115
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,857
Well, actually, I do

116
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,925
and I hate
the whole idea.

117
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:36,194
But it's going
to make you feel great.

118
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,063
I already feel great.

119
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,598
Go ahead, feel me.

120
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,069
You have no muscle tone.

121
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:48,006
I'll have you know
my health club on Melmac

122
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:52,077
once voted me
"bod of the month."

123
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,712
You went
to a health club?

124
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,948
Well, here you call it
a bakery.

125
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,718
Come on.
No pain, no gain.

126
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,187
[instrumental music]

127
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,690
Come on, ALF.
Go for the burn!

128
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:07,926
I'd rather go
for the donuts.

129
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,131
Come on,
time for leg lifts.

130
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:20,105
One, two, three, four, five.

131
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,440
How does that feel, ALF?

132
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,141
[ALF snoring]

133
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,943
ALF!

134
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,159
Hi.

135
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,495
Hi.

136
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:46,264
It's come
to this, Kate.

137
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,233
What's that, ALF?

138
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:52,971
I'm so bored, I'm interested
in what you're doing.

139
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,806
What are you doing?

140
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,341
Refinishing this bureau.

141
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:01,513
I think, if you listen
very carefully

142
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:05,183
You can actually hear
my interest wane.

143
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,786
Just be careful.
That's wet.

144
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,321
[scoffs]
You know, I think it's time

145
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:11,323
for you to find a hobby.

146
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,192
Why don't you
collect stamps?

147
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,428
Great. I could think
about all the places

148
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,763
they've been to
that I can't go.

149
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:22,000
Perfect pastime for a shut-in.

150
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,003
Well, what about, uh, yoga?

151
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,172
It sounds fairly quiet.

152
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,608
I was into yoga
on Melmac.

153
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,343
Want to hear my mantra?

154
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,844
Sure.

155
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,347
Wow, I can really
cross my legs

156
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,282
and put my feet
on top of my knees.

157
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,451
Boy, am I relaxed and limber.
I'm so limber.

158
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:40,819
Like, the limberest thing
you could think of.

159
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,487
That's how limber
I am and--

160
00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,256
Maybe yoga's not
such a great idea.

161
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,158
Now, what am I supposed to do?

162
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,227
I'm not cutout for aerobics.

163
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,830
Cubing cheese is no challenge.

164
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,799
And I already fixed
Sugerlip's radio.

165
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,403
Face it, Kate.

166
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,639
I'm a man
without a purpose.

167
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,674
Or a planet.

168
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:05,877
Or a middle finger,
for that matter.

169
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,412
Well, I'm sure you'll find

170
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,848
Something interesting
to do..

171
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,550
...eventually.

172
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,052
That's what
I've been trying to..

173
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,991
Stuck.

174
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,461
I surmised.

175
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,569
Ahh!

176
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,637
Sorry.

177
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,509
Furry handprint.

178
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,645
I see it.

179
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,682
Leaving now.

180
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,083
Good idea.

181
00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,954
[instrumental music]

182
00:09:56,196 --> 00:10:00,065
Well, what's
your professional opinion?

183
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,800
He's bored.

184
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,602
But you don't think
there's any underlying

185
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,604
psychological reason?

186
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,606
Maybe boredom.

187
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,140
That's it?

188
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:11,042
Well, he's a very
intelligent being.

189
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,311
I mean, he needs
to be challenged.

190
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,879
He needs to be muzzled.

191
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,149
He has the computer.

192
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,552
I've bought him
dozens of books

193
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:21,820
video tapes.

194
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:23,655
He has plenty to do.
The problem is

195
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,224
he wants to be in the
middle of whatever we're doing.

196
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,260
It's easy to forget, you know,
that he's an adult

197
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,929
and he wants to be
treated like one.

198
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,564
So, what do we do?

199
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,299
Well, you could, uh

200
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,134
talk to him,
tell him your feelings

201
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,503
ask for advice,
his opinion, and..

202
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,805
Do it at dinner.
It'll work wonders.

203
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,641
What if it doesn't?

204
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,209
We'll have dessert.

205
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,917
Oh, look,
it's the gravy train.

206
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,686
Larry, you can sit
right there.

207
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:57,188
Ah, thank you,
thank you, Kate.

208
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,424
Wow, everything
looks delicious.

209
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,929
Uh, well, uh, willie..

210
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,432
How's life
been treating you?

211
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,168
Um, well,
now you mention it

212
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,703
there, uh..

213
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,204
There is a guy at work..

214
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:17,108
I-I've been having kind of
a hard time with.

215
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,678
Oh, so tonight,
we're dining and whining?

216
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,849
Uh, you want to tell us
about it, willie?

217
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:29,154
Well, he's, uh, he's just
really competitive, you know?

218
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:32,657
He's, um.. He's always trying
to beat my case load

219
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,026
to get a raise
ahead of me

220
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,462
get promoted before I do.

221
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,864
I know that's not
what social work is all about

222
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:43,802
but I just can't help
feeling pressured by this guy.

223
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,537
What do you think, ALF?

224
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,841
Huh?

225
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,210
Well, there's this guy at work..

226
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,479
I heard that part.

227
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,048
Well..

228
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,583
What do you think?

229
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:00,018
You're asking me?

230
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,854
You got a shrink
right here.

231
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:05,156
No, I really value
your judgment.

232
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,327
You what my what?

233
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,063
Dad wants your opinion.

234
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,865
Oh.

235
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,501
Well, willie,
if you must be competitive

236
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:18,670
why don't you just
compete with yourself?

237
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,338
Not only will
you feel better

238
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,373
you'll always win.

239
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:24,876
That's exactly
what I would have said.

240
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,211
Really?

241
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,278
Really.

242
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,747
You, a psychologist

243
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:33,251
would have given the same advice
as I, a lay alien?

244
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,686
That's right.

245
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,623
Kate.. Uh, Kate?
Would you like some beets?

246
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,725
Beets?

247
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,427
Oh.

248
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,129
Oh, yes. Uh-huh.

249
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,064
Um..

250
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,767
Speaking of work, you know

251
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:49,968
I really love my job

252
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,637
but whenever I'm there,
I feel like

253
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:53,905
I'm neglecting the baby

254
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,407
and whenever
I'm home here with eric

255
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,910
I feel like I'm not pulling
my weight at work.

256
00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,645
How do you feel
about that, ALF?

257
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,315
Me, again?

258
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,884
Yeah, I, uh..

259
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:09,821
I just wondered
how you thought about that.

260
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:12,724
Well, did you go back to work
after Lynn was born?

261
00:13:12,726 --> 00:13:14,259
Yeah, I did.

262
00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,795
Well, see?
She turned out just fine.

263
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,898
She's not a rooftop sniper
or anything.

264
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,232
Thanks, ALF.

265
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,268
That's exactly
what I would have said.

266
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,904
Wow! Two for two!

267
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,372
Who's next?

268
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:33,478
Um, I have
a problem too.

269
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:36,848
I don't like math.

270
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,150
Neither do I.

271
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,152
Thanks!
I feel better now.

272
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,156
Hey, I'm on a roll!

273
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,993
Anything I can help
you with, Lynndigo?

274
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,029
Sure.

275
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,465
Danny and I have been dating
for over a year now

276
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,835
and I know he likes me,
but I just--

277
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,804
'I still feel jealous
when he talks to other girls.'

278
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:02,874
I wish I knew what
to do about that.

279
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:06,344
Well, my advice would be to talk
it over with Danny.

280
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,946
Let him know how you feel

281
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,381
and I'm sure you'll be able
to work things out.

282
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,016
You with me on this, lar?

283
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,385
Oh, that's exactly
what I would have said.

284
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,688
Hey, this is great!

285
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,023
How much you get paid
for this kind of thing?

286
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,191
What kind of thing?

287
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,827
This advice shtick.

288
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,996
Well, actually,
I get paid quite a lot.

289
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,698
Why do you ask?

290
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,400
Because I've found
my true calling..

291
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,904
I'm going to be a shrink.

292
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:34,973
How does that make you feel?

293
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,782
[instrumental music]

294
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,158
Willie?

295
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,660
Yeah?

296
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,897
"When the wayfarer
whistles in the dark

297
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:02,033
"he may be disavowing
his timidity

298
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:07,205
But he does not see any the more
clearly for doing so."

299
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,107
I beg your pardon?

300
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,942
Freud said that.

301
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:12,443
You were clinking.

302
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,345
Clinking?

303
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,546
You feel
you haven't made

304
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,515
a significant mark
on the world

305
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,950
so you compensate

306
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,719
by unconsciously
asserting your presence

307
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:24,322
in situations
where you feel anonymous.

308
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,227
What are you reading?

309
00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:32,597
It's a therapy book.
Larry loaned it to me.

310
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,966
I'm a shrink now, remember?

311
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,968
Oh, right.

312
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,903
Willie, if this
interests ALF

313
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,039
we should be supportive.

314
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,707
And very grateful.

315
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,876
Right.

316
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,045
Uh, maybe you've got
a point.

317
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:51,549
I'll, uh.. In the future,
I'll refrain from clinking.

318
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,785
You'll be
the better for it.

319
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,087
These eggs are
a little bit dry.

320
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,890
I'm sorry.
I always do that.

321
00:15:58,892 --> 00:16:00,992
Kate, Kate, Kate.

322
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,561
You're expanding
one tiny failure

323
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,431
into a self-defeating
behavior pattern.

324
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,832
What?

325
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,268
It's called
overgeneralization.

326
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,271
You convince yourself that you
can never cook eggs right

327
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,807
and then you can't
cook eggs right.

328
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:17,842
Oh, I have a headache.

329
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,177
Morning.

330
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,611
Morning, Brian.

331
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,480
Hey, B.

332
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,415
Have you ever dreamed
you were being chased

333
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,584
by a giant cheese log?

334
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,186
No.

335
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,189
Then I'll only need
to see you five times a week.

336
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,930
[instrumental music]

337
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,533
Huh!

338
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,268
It says in this article
that babies sometimes

339
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:45,837
remember things
that happened when

340
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,972
they were still
in the womb.

341
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,874
- Really?
- Yeah.

342
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,776
I wonder if eric
will remember

343
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,345
how things were around here
before he was born.

344
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,450
Carl Jung was
a big weenie head.

345
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,922
With any luck, he'll forget his
first five years entirely.

346
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,393
I'm preparing a paper

347
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,396
for the American
Psychological Association

348
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:15,967
that proves Jung's theorems
were based on faulty logic

349
00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:18,503
and misinterpreted data.

350
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:21,706
How do you spell
"Na-na na-na-na?"

351
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,743
ALF, it's not that
we don't appreciate

352
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:29,180
your attempts to
overanalyze every..

353
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:33,484
To, uh, help us with
our problems, but--

354
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,219
Speaking of problems

355
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,321
we've got to do something
about Brian.

356
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,324
What's wrong with Brian?

357
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:41,759
[sucks teeth]

358
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,431
He's been experiencing
a lot of negative stroking

359
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,166
from Kate lately

360
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,835
and it's affecting
his sense of okayness.

361
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:54,005
Alright. Okay.
This has gone far enough.

362
00:17:54,007 --> 00:17:55,173
Now, now, honey.

363
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:56,607
No, no, it's alright.

364
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,709
It's good to ventilate.

365
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,679
I am not ventilating.
I am talking.

366
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,281
And I resent the implication

367
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:06,217
that I am having a negative
effect on my son's okayness.

368
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,618
Furthermore--

369
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,220
How long have you had
this persecution complex?

370
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,888
ALF!

371
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,690
I was talking to your wife.

372
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,925
Now, we ought
to take a look

373
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,927
at your ego boundaries,
willie.

374
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,528
Oh, I give up, I give up.

375
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,298
You're relinquishing
your resistance. Good.

376
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,367
Now we can make
some real progress.

377
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,636
And you are spouting a lot

378
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,872
of psychological clichés

379
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,941
you don't even understand.

380
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,710
Why so hostile, willie?

381
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,246
I'm okay. You're okay.

382
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,448
This must stop!

383
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,084
That's right,
a quick primal scream.

384
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:43,754
Let it fly!
Then I'll..

385
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:48,659
You cannot keep aggravating
people like this.

386
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:50,828
Why do you hate
your mother?

387
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,976
And he's just gotten
completely carried away

388
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,145
with this therapy thing.

389
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,779
Oh, you know ALF,
he gets carried away

390
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,181
with everything he does.

391
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,617
What motivated you
to let it go this far?

392
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:16,120
Oh, stop it, Larry. I've
had enough of this all week.

393
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,622
Just fix it.

394
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,023
Yeah, you know
what they say..

395
00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,425
A little knowledge
is a dangerous thing.

396
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:25,463
In ALF's hands, foam rubber
is a dangerous thing.

397
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,964
Do you think you can help?

398
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:28,699
Trust me.
I'm a professional.

399
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,937
The last time
someone said that to me

400
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,839
I ended up
with purple hair.

401
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,710
Dinner smells great, mom.

402
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,679
And you worked in all
the food groups, too.

403
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,181
Well, I had planned
to serve steaks tonight

404
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,515
But I forgot to take them out
of the freezer

405
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,716
so at the last minute--

406
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:47,652
Kate, Kate, Kate.

407
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,621
I think we're overcompensating,
aren't we?

408
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,156
Excuse me?

409
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,192
You're apologizing
for the food

410
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,693
in order to disguise
your feelings

411
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,795
of insecurity around Larry.

412
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,497
Right, lar?

413
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,465
No, she's not
doing that at all.

414
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:05,136
You're projecting your feelings
about me onto Kate.

415
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:08,005
Are you challenging
my autonomy?

416
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,208
Well, you're the one
that set yourself up

417
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,410
as a resident
psychology expert.

418
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,246
I mean, it's only natural
that you'd be threatened by me.

419
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:17,014
Who's threatened?

420
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:20,151
I'm coming from
a very secure place.

421
00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:23,688
Ah, I'm picking up
some hostilities here.

422
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,356
Can't we just have
a simple dialogue

423
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,658
between our
adult ego states?

424
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,660
Well, you're discounting
an emotion

425
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,729
you're not prepared to confront.

426
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,431
And you're judging
my reactions

427
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,400
with an unfair cultural bias.

428
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,569
You know, I think this is just
another temporary obsession

429
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,571
to draw attention to yourself.

430
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,440
Hey!

431
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:45,376
That wasn't nice.

432
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,378
It's not so much fun
being on the receiving end

433
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,013
of the couch, is it, ALF?

434
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,448
Aw, come on.

435
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,083
I don't sound like him.

436
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,620
Do I?

437
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,154
- Yep.
- Sure do.

438
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:00,191
Wow.

439
00:21:00,193 --> 00:21:01,759
You're really annoying.

440
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,529
Well, I've been
at it a long time.

441
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,635
Now I know what Jung meant
when he said

442
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:12,603
"The growth of the mind

443
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,040
"is the widening of
the range of consciousness

444
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:19,277
"and each step forward
has been a most painful

445
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,213
"and laborious achievement."

446
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:24,782
That's very insightful.

447
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:28,152
Personally, I always thought
Carl Jung was a big..

448
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,994
[instrumental music]

449
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,896
(woman on radio)
'And I know
he really does love me'

450
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:41,399
'but he just doesn't show it
at all anymore.'

451
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,134
'Should I talk
to a divorce lawyer?'

452
00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,435
(man on radio)
'Well, as an attorney'

453
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:45,670
'I've seen a lot
of divorce cases'

454
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:47,071
'that could
have been avoided'

455
00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:48,939
'if the couple had seen
a marriage counselor'

456
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:52,176
'so I really suggest that you
try to work things out first.'

457
00:21:52,178 --> 00:21:54,111
'Let's take
our next caller.'

458
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,980
'Welcome to
"Let's Talk Legal."'

459
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,582
(ALF on radio)
'I specialize in family law.'

460
00:21:58,584 --> 00:22:02,820
'That lady should sue
the bum for all he's worth.'

461
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,122
'She'll clean up
on community property'

462
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,524
'and she can get
enough property'

463
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:10,161
'to start
her own community. Ha!'

464
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:12,496
You check the garage,
I'll cut the phone lines.

465
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,265
(ALF on radio)
'I'm working
with a couple right now..'

466
00:22:14,267 --> 00:22:17,668
'Your typical domestic tragedy
waiting to happen.'

467
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,471
'The guy should have dumped
his battle axe years ago.'

468
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,840
'I mean,
talk about tempers.'

469
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,009
'Oh, hi, Kate. Hey!'

470
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,544
[line disconnects]

471
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,946
(man on radio)
'Hello? Hello?'

472
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,848
'Y-you're on the air?'

473
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,350
'Well, let's take
our next caller.'

474
00:22:34,053 --> 00:22:36,554
[theme music]

475
00:23:02,315 --> 00:23:03,748
[laughing]