1
00:00:01,836 --> 00:00:03,702
What a mess.
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,605
I cannot believe you exploded
3
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:09,842
a dozen eggs in our microwave.
4
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:14,413
Don't worry. I'll lick it clean
like I always do.
5
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,686
I will thank you to keep your
tongue off our appliances.
6
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,822
Fine. Another arbitrary rule.
7
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:28,927
Kate, I have some very bad news.
8
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,429
What? What is it?
9
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:33,465
I-I found the cat
outside by the fence.
10
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,735
- He's dead.
- Lucky?
11
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,071
Oh, no.
12
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:40,939
So, what's the bad news?
13
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,711
That was the bad news.
Thank you for your concern.
14
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,446
Well, honey, what-what happened?
15
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,616
Well, he must have died
in his sleep.
16
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:53,719
Apparently, he was a lot older
than the vet said he was.
17
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,089
I-I wrapped him in a towel
and put him in the garage.
18
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,624
Poor Lucky.
19
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,094
Oh, this is gonna be
so hard for Brian.
20
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,797
The Luck Meister is dead.
21
00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:09,234
This is indeed a very dark day
for anyone who knew him
22
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,936
or chased him.
23
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:15,841
Is the Crock-Pot
still under the sink?
24
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,844
[theme music]
25
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:51,877
[music continues]
26
00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,905
[instrumental music]
27
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:26,478
Please take good care of Lucky,
and let him be happy.
28
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,181
Tell him we miss him. Amen.
29
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,486
Lynn, that was indeed beautiful.
30
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,588
I'm reminded of a prayer
he used to recite
31
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,291
every night before bed.
32
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,628
"And if I die before I wake
33
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:45,531
chicken fry me like a steak."
34
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:49,034
- ALF!
- Hey.
35
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,769
They were his words.
36
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,671
[Willie clears throat]
37
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,310
Life is eternal
38
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,680
and, uh, love is immortal
39
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,883
and death is but a horizon.
40
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:16,895
What we return to the Earth,
we receive back...tenfold.
41
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:21,833
Tragic. A tragic waste.
42
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:26,271
Wouldn't you
like to say something, Bri?
43
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,873
- No.
- Honey..
44
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:31,577
It might make you feel better
if you say goodbye to him.
45
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,179
- Bye.
- Whoa.
46
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,615
What a load off.
47
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,917
Brian, uh, it's okay
48
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,720
if you don't wanna say anything,
you don't have to.
49
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,590
There's nothing I wanna say.
50
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,792
Come on, Bri.
Let's go inside.
51
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,162
Funeral poopers!
52
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:56,301
Don't you have any respect
for people's feelings?
53
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,470
Well, excuse me.
54
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,740
But where I'm from,
this is ludicrous.
55
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,810
It's like having a funeral
for a hamburger.
56
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:10,015
Why don't you just, uh,
go inside with them.
57
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:14,419
Why? I thought I'd help you
bury the little patty melt.
58
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,021
Not a chance.
59
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:19,191
I'm gonna bury him
in an undisclosed place.
60
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:22,728
Well, can I at least
put something in there with him?
61
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:26,932
Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead.
Just hurry up.
62
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,270
This was Lucky's favorite toy.
63
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:35,440
He loved the sound
the little metal bell made.
64
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,644
It wasn't exactly
the deepest cat in the world.
65
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,847
[jingling]
66
00:04:47,221 --> 00:04:50,289
I'm sure that
Lucky will treasure this.
67
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,795
This would go well
with a full-bodied Chianti.
68
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:01,833
[instrumental music]
69
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:07,506
(ALF)
'Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.'
70
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,608
Here, kitty, kitty.
71
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,510
Here, kitty.
72
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,945
Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
73
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,013
Come on.
74
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,317
I know you're out here.
Here, kitty, kitty..
75
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,685
[gasps]
76
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:24,356
What are you doing
with that metal detector?
77
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,258
This isn't a weed wacker?
78
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:29,161
Well, no wonder
it's taking so long!
79
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:34,199
Are you looking for this?
80
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,001
No. Uh..
81
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,769
I was looking for quarters.
82
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:40,972
Yeah. Hind quarters.
83
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:46,411
You were looking for
Lucky's body, weren't you?
84
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,747
Well...yes.
85
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,383
I thought there should be
an autopsy.
86
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,818
A what?
87
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,220
There are still
a lot of unanswered questions
88
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,722
surrounding his death.
89
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,624
I've formulated
a second-gun theory.
90
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:03,829
What is your problem?
91
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,732
Willie, I must eat cat.
92
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,667
It burns in my blood!
93
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:11,536
It's the fire in my loins!
94
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,940
Fish gotta swim,
birds gotta fly
95
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:19,010
why then, oh, why can't I?
96
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,647
I don't wanna hear this.
97
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:26,985
Melmacians who didn't eat cat
were considered sissies.
98
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,354
We spat on cat lovers.
99
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,093
Don't spit on my shoe.
100
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,662
I thought a visual aid
might help.
101
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:40,832
(Trevor)
'Hey, Tanner,
what's going on out there?'
102
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,701
Hide! Quick!
103
00:06:44,138 --> 00:06:48,206
By the way, that's
Trevor's weed wacker. Play dumb.
104
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:52,878
[instrumental music]
105
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,383
Hurry, Bri. We're gonna be late
for church.
106
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,851
I'm not hungry.
107
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:03,221
Honey, it's a shame
to waste good food.
108
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,424
Why don't you bury it
in the backyard?
109
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,392
That way you'll have
something out there
110
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,394
from all the food groups.
111
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,698
You know, Brian,
we all loved Lucky
112
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,567
uh, and we all miss him,
but he's gone now
113
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:18,837
and sometimes the best way
to get over the loss of a pet
114
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:22,874
is just go right out
and get yourself another one.
115
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,076
Same as losing a wife.
116
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,148
The want ads here
are full of people
117
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:34,286
wh-who are giving away
all sorts of pets.
118
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,887
"Giving away?"
119
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:40,091
Would that include cats,
nature's perfect food.
120
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,195
We're not getting a cat.
121
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:46,064
Uh, if anything,
we'll get a dog.
122
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:50,802
A dog? Oh, like I need the
competition for table scraps.
123
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,805
I don't want a dog.
124
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,807
Me either.
125
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,443
Not enough gristle.
126
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:01,179
Breakfast is over.
We all need some air.
127
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,648
- Come on, Bri.
- See you after church, ALF.
128
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,951
Yeah. Put a good word in for me.
129
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:08,453
Not that I need it.
130
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:11,590
Don't do any more
treasure hunting.
131
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,225
How can I?
132
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:17,629
It's not like Lucky had any
silver fillings in his teeth.
133
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:18,797
Did he?
134
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,999
[sighs]
Goodbye, ALF.
135
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,135
Free cats.
136
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:26,905
Wonder if they deliver.
137
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:31,443
No, I can't.
Willie'll kill me.
138
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:39,117
Well, maybe if I just eat
the feet, nobody'll notice.
139
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:43,421
[instrumental music]
140
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:48,560
So, any last meows?
141
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,496
Huh? No.
142
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,266
Then I'll see you in a few days.
143
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:00,005
You're kind of small,
aren't you?
144
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:02,674
Well, at least you won't claw
so much going down.
145
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,676
[meows]
146
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,578
Don't look at me like that.
147
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:07,646
[meows]
148
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,948
Oh, no.
149
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:14,519
[groans]
What's wrong with me?
150
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:20,125
Maybe you have an ugly brother
or sister in that box.
151
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,462
[meows]
152
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,131
Yeah!
153
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,301
Now, you're ugly enough to eat.
154
00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,735
[Lynn chuckling]
155
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,437
[indistinct]
156
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:35,073
What cats?
157
00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:39,978
Where did you get these?
158
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,847
Um, they came
for Lucky's funeral.
159
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,449
They brought casseroles.
160
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,185
What was I gonna do,
turn them away?
161
00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:52,524
Alright, alright.
I called an ad in the paper.
162
00:09:52,526 --> 00:09:55,393
How many did you eat?
163
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,229
- None.
- I don't believe you, ALF.
164
00:09:58,231 --> 00:10:01,032
Alright, then give me
a bucket and a moment to myself
165
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,068
and I'll show you.
166
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,769
We'll take your word for it.
167
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:09,307
It makes me sick to even think
that you would eat a cat.
168
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:13,411
There'll be no eating of cats
in this house. Do you hear me?
169
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,581
Alright. But that rule
has to apply to everybody
170
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,983
for it to mean anything.
171
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,953
(Trevor)
'Hey, Tanner, you guys in?'
172
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,322
Maybe we can get the Ochmoneks
to take them.
173
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,192
They'd be better off
on the freeway.
174
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:32,864
Well, hi Trevor, Raquel.
175
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:35,066
Hi, Kate. Hey, Willie?
176
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,502
Raquel and I are going
treasure hunting in Malibu.
177
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,037
You guys wanna come?
178
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:42,140
We're gonna hang around outside
Larry Hagman's house.
179
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,375
Last week I found a watch.
180
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,011
- Look.
- It's lovely.
181
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,480
And I can wear it in the shower.
182
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,849
Well, as exciting
as that sounds, uh
183
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:54,452
we're kind of busy, we've gotta
find a home for these kittens
184
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:57,222
that were suspiciously left
on our doorstep.
185
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,557
We'd take one,
but Raquel's allergic.
186
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,894
She breaks out in these
big red welts that drip.
187
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,697
Trevor, please.
Some things are private.
188
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:09,067
Then why did you pose for the
cover of that medical journal?
189
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:12,437
I was young,
and I needed the money.
190
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,707
Aren't you gonna
lose the sun soon?
191
00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,209
Good point. See you later.
192
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:27,152
You know, we should spring
for an electric fence.
193
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,424
[instrumental music]
194
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,395
Ready to go through with this?
195
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,130
Alright.
196
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:41,199
Bon appetit.
197
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:46,738
Hey, hey, if you're gonna put up
a struggle, who needs you!
198
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,173
Gee!
199
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,744
Oh, I can't do it.
200
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,246
That settles it.
201
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,249
I, Gordon Shumway, am a..
202
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:01,986
...cat lover.
203
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:04,055
[sighs]
204
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,457
Sorry, ma.
205
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,693
(Kate)
'They're right in here.'
206
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,998
I am so ashamed, papa.
207
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,101
Why can't we get
a purebred Himalayan?
208
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,535
They cost too much, honey.
209
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,839
But how am I supposed
to get attached to a cheap cat?
210
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,841
[awkward chuckle]
211
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,342
Sorry about that.
212
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:28,313
I thought sending her to
French school meant to France.
213
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:31,516
I understand. Uh..
Well, here they are.
214
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:34,419
- Please, uh, pick one.
- Oh, these are great.
215
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,191
Oh, I like the grey one.
216
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,793
- A grey cat?
- Yeah.
217
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:45,597
You'll have to excuse my father.
He works with his hands.
218
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,767
I guess we'll, uh,
take the black one here.
219
00:12:48,769 --> 00:12:50,502
Good choice. Very good choice.
220
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,170
- There you go.
- Thanks for the kitten.
221
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,872
Merci, madame.
222
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,240
[chuckles]
223
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,576
Au revoir.
224
00:12:58,578 --> 00:12:59,978
Well, I'm glad to see
you're not
225
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,981
giving them away
to just anybody.
226
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,450
ALF, what are you
doing out here?
227
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:11,289
Oh, Kate, I've discovered
a horrible secret about myself.
228
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,993
I am a cat lover.
229
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,327
[spits]
230
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,330
Hold me?
231
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,433
We know all about
your love of cats, ALF.
232
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:26,171
That's why we just sent one home
with Les Miserables.
233
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,807
- No, I'm serious!
- Mm-hm.
234
00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:33,278
And what supposedly brought on
this sudden change?
235
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,247
Would you believe I've never
seen a kitten before?
236
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,818
You? You have never seen
a kitten?
237
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,452
Never. Well..
238
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,721
I've seen bits of them
in chowder.
239
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:49,761
I just had no idea
they were so cute whole.
240
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:53,631
Nice try, bub.
Now back away from them slowly.
241
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,801
Oh, Kate,
I promise I won't harm a hair
242
00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:59,804
on their fuzzy wittle heads.
243
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:05,310
- Have I ever lied to you?
- Yes. Several times.
244
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,178
I meant today.
245
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,751
[instrumental music]
246
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:18,690
[door opens]
247
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:20,658
Which one did they take?
248
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,594
Oh, I don't wanna know!
249
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:23,528
No, tell me.
250
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,064
No, no, no, don't tell me!
251
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,199
Tell me.
252
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,101
Stripey one.
253
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,037
Not Tuffy!
254
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,006
Oh, I can't stand this, Willie.
255
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:40,445
Every time you give away another
kitten, a part of me dies.
256
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,113
Uh-huh.
257
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,183
I tell you,
I'm a changed alien.
258
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:46,718
You know,
there's an old saying, ALF
259
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:51,155
the leopard cannot change
his spots.
260
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,490
Whoa, that's deep!
261
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:55,059
Back up, man, you lost me.
262
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:57,428
[telephone rings]
263
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,965
Hello. Oh, yeah, Lynn.
264
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,502
There's one kitten left.
The grey one. Heh, the runt.
265
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,071
Hey, I'd like to see
baby pictures of you.
266
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,539
(Willie)
'Alright.'
267
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,543
Well, Lynn's bringing
a friend by.
268
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,313
They're gonna pick up
the last one. The last cat.
269
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,749
Oh, you can't give away
the grey kitten!
270
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,550
He's my favorite.
271
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,653
Oh, I'll change my spots,
Willie!
272
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:25,556
In fact, I'll endure every bad
analogy you throw my way.
273
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,459
I can't trust you, ALF.
274
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,729
These cats are too much
of a temptation for you.
275
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,899
- Did I ever try to eat Lucky?
- Yes.
276
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,567
I meant today.
277
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,735
Go.
278
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:43,675
Well, goodbye, kitty.
Have a nice life.
279
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:45,243
I love that cat.
280
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,978
[spits]
281
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:49,447
I gotta get a handle on that.
282
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,516
[instrumental music]
283
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,718
And another thing
about having a cat
284
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:57,088
is a cat won't leave you
for a cheerleader named Buffy.
285
00:15:57,090 --> 00:16:00,358
George and I were gonna spend
the rest of our lives together.
286
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,960
He said I inspired him.
287
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,729
That since he knew me,
he sold more van conversions
288
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,865
than anybody else
at the showroom.
289
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:11,369
Joanie, it's been a month.
290
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:14,739
That's three weeks longer
than you went with him.
291
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,708
But it was so right.
292
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,743
Didn't you think
it was right, Lynn?
293
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,245
Listen to me,
you are in danger
294
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:24,649
of developing
a very bad life pattern.
295
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,887
Hi, dad. Joanie's here
to pick up the kitten.
296
00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,956
Oh, good.
297
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,358
How are things, Joanie?
298
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,627
I'm taking your cat.
What does that tell you?
299
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,431
Guess I'll go get it.
300
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,336
Now I'm stuck
with this lousy tattoo
301
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,406
and it doesn't mean anything.
302
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,309
I told you
not to rush into that.
303
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,511
(Willie)
'Oh, I'll strangle him!'
304
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:56,547
What's wrong, dad?
305
00:16:56,549 --> 00:17:00,551
Uh-uh, it-it seems the cat has,
uh, wandered off.
306
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,021
It figures.
307
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,693
- 'ALF?'
- Stay cool.
308
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,062
Remember, I've been here
the whole time.
309
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,800
Where is that cat?
310
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:19,337
Why are you asking me?
I've been here the last hour.
311
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,172
Isn't that right, Eric?
312
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,041
[coos]
313
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,410
See?
314
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,745
I don't have time for this.
315
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:31,049
A morose teenager
has come to take it home.
316
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,820
Do I have to
tear the house apart?
317
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:38,956
Don't bother.
318
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,892
You won't find it.
319
00:17:40,894 --> 00:17:42,960
Why not?
320
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:46,898
Because...I ate it.
321
00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:52,970
I can't-I can't believe
that you could
322
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,506
possibly disappoint me
this much!
323
00:17:56,776 --> 00:18:00,445
No more disappointed
than I am in myself, Willie.
324
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:05,383
Your punishment couldn't begin
to top what I'm going through.
325
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:08,019
We'll test that theory
in one minute.
326
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,792
You may be looking at the pinata
for your first birthday party.
327
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,128
I'm outta here.
328
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:23,301
I'm sorry, it appears
that something has happened
329
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:25,470
to the, uh, kitten.
330
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:26,938
- I see.
- Joanie.
331
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,372
This is not at all like
what happened
332
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,007
between you and George.
333
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,876
I wanna believe you.
334
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,679
Well..
335
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:37,882
At least now I'll have something
to talk about at group tonight.
336
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,853
Bye, Mr. Tanner.
I'll call you.
337
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,287
(Lynn)
Alright.
338
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:47,125
[sighs]
She's one taco short
of a combination plate.
339
00:18:47,127 --> 00:18:48,626
What happened to the kitten?
340
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,795
Uh, it seems ALF..
341
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:53,865
...ate it.
342
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,166
Oh, my God!
343
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,003
That's just too horrible
to think about.
344
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,538
How do you know?
345
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,006
He admitted it.
346
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,176
Wow.
347
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,844
I knew he was capable
348
00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:10,448
but I never thought he'd
actually go through with it.
349
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:14,185
One thing is certain.
He'll never do it again!
350
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:19,457
[instrumental music]
351
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,693
Look, I don't know
how much time we have.
352
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,328
So here's the plan.
353
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:27,431
How soon do you think
you can get on a game show?
354
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,201
We're gonna need some money.
355
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,671
What, you have a better idea?
356
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,475
(Willie)
'ALF!'
357
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:44,749
ALF, there you are.
Dad, he's in here.
358
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:47,652
Is he in a good mood
or a bad mood?
359
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:50,121
Don't even talk to me.
360
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,657
Guess it's that time, huh?
361
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,960
Doesn't a condemned man
get a last meal?
362
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,262
You just had it!
363
00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,464
How about an after-dinner mint?
364
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,702
Dad, what's that?
365
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,705
Ah, pay no attention
to the moving box!
366
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:11,008
The great and powerful ALF
has spoken.
367
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,911
[chuckling]
368
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,783
Don't take him away from me,
Willie. He's mine.
369
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:21,786
I'll do anything. Please.
370
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:24,188
ALF, you were telling the truth.
371
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,390
How many times does a guy
have to spit on himself
372
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:28,526
before you believe him?
373
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,262
I knew it.
I knew you couldn't eat him.
374
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:34,832
Then why didn't you
say something? Stick up for me?
375
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,668
What if I was wrong
and you ate him?
376
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,605
This is one of those
logic puzzles, isn't it?
377
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:43,241
I've never been good at those.
378
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:44,875
Willie, can I keep him?
379
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,878
- No.
- But why?
380
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,348
Well, I-I don't think
it would be a good idea
381
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:53,784
i-i-in light of everything.
382
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,486
But he's my friend.
383
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,122
You don't realize how close
you can get with someone
384
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,524
until you've had their head
in your mouth.
385
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:06,397
You should really have somebody
else do your arguing for you.
386
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:09,667
Dad, he obviously loves the
kitten. Don't we owe it to him?
387
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,102
Well, what do we owe him?
388
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,970
Lynn, he-he brought
these kittens
389
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,106
into our house without asking.
390
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:16,707
He tried to eat them.
391
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:19,210
He actually sat
at the dining room--
392
00:21:19,212 --> 00:21:21,746
Dad, look at him.
393
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:27,018
He'll be like the son
I never had.
394
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,987
Okay, you can keep him.
395
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,389
Yeah!
396
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:34,358
Hey, did you hear that,
little fella?
397
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,194
Yeah, you get to stay.
398
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,599
You know, Willie,
my mom was wrong.
399
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,801
It is fun to play
with your food.
400
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,905
[instrumental music]
401
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,676
[instrumental music]
402
00:21:53,579 --> 00:21:55,579
Somewhere in this yard
403
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:58,749
your illustrious
predecessor rests.
404
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,785
At least,
that's what they told me.
405
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,620
They could be lying.
406
00:22:02,622 --> 00:22:05,022
They're an odd family.
407
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:07,224
- Hi, ALF. What are you doing?
- Hi, B.
408
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:10,194
I was just showing Flipper
where Lucky was buried.
409
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:13,798
You named him Flipper?
That's a stupid name.
410
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,467
Hey, don't criticize.
411
00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,769
You haven't seen him underwater.
412
00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:22,473
I wanna name him Lucky II.
413
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:27,511
Brian, are you trying to tell me
that you like this kitten?
414
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:28,913
No.
415
00:22:28,915 --> 00:22:31,649
Not even just a little?
416
00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:33,851
Well, maybe a little.
417
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,088
Well, maybe a lot.
418
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:39,023
You know what?
419
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:40,458
I think you should go inside
420
00:22:40,460 --> 00:22:42,660
and tell that to your folks.
421
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:45,963
- They like that kind of junk.
- Okay.
422
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,168
You even look
a little like Lucky.
423
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,703
Same fat cheeks.
424
00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:56,107
Same meaty thighs.
425
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,711
Same delectable aroma.
426
00:23:01,781 --> 00:23:04,515
Maybe I should keep him
in my room.
427
00:23:04,517 --> 00:23:07,752
Good idea, B. Why tempt fate?
428
00:23:13,159 --> 00:23:16,160
[theme music]
429
00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:38,449
[music continues]
430
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,120
[ALF laughs]