1
00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,772
It's about time
you got back with the food.
2
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:10,275
ALF, we've only been
gone an hour.
3
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:11,577
An hour and twelve minutes
4
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,779
according to
seven of my stomachs.
5
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:21,987
ALF. ALF. Can't you
wait for us to unpack them?
6
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,222
Let's see..
7
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,658
...no!
8
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:31,296
Hey, did you
get the stuff on my list?
9
00:00:31,298 --> 00:00:33,432
Sorry, ALF,
grocery stores on Earth
10
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,869
still don't carry
Melmacian junk food.
11
00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,670
What about pudding in a shoe?
12
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,808
Not available west of Jupiter.
13
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:47,079
Well, it's always better
homemade anyway.
14
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,349
Willie, can I borrow
a pair of your wingtips?
15
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:53,786
You may not cook
in my shoes.
16
00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:55,721
Socks?
17
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:59,258
Let the edict
include all footwear.
18
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,461
Fine. Eat your bland desserts.
19
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:05,097
Oh! Here, ALF.
20
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:07,166
We did buy you this.
21
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:10,602
My "National Inquisitor!" Great!
22
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,072
At least I can read
about Michael Jackson's
23
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:15,507
skull reduction.
24
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,710
I can't believe
you actually read that stuff.
25
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:24,016
Well, pardon me,
Mr. US-News-And-World-Report.
26
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:32,257
Our alien is hooked
on gossip magazines.
27
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,193
That sounds like
a headline from one of them.
28
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:38,130
[chuckles]
Well, be thankful
that he likes that magazine.
29
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:42,201
That actually keeps him quiet
for 30 minutes at a time.
30
00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:43,402
[ALF screams]
31
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:44,536
[thud]
32
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,738
Thirty seconds...at a time.
33
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:52,978
He's, he's fainted.
34
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:57,916
[theme music]
35
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,038
[music continues]
36
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,290
[music continues]
37
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,777
[instrumental music]
38
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,484
- What happened?
- ALF fainted.
39
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:06,985
Oh.
40
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,287
Please.
41
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,289
No more portly women.
42
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,727
What happened, ALF?
43
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,462
I can't believe it, Willie.
44
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,098
Read the headline on page two.
45
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:25,270
"Corn chip dead ringer
for Liberace."
46
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,541
Wow!
47
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:33,312
Not that.
The headline next to it.
48
00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:37,216
"Couple in Barstow
living with space alien."
49
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,584
That's it!
50
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,220
Oh, ALF, don't be ridiculous.
51
00:03:41,222 --> 00:03:43,755
ALF, there's, there's
an article like, like this one
52
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,592
in every issue of this magazine.
53
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:49,094
But this one is different.
Read on!
54
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:53,932
"The alien is described
as being short and furry
55
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:57,569
with large ears
and a long snout."
56
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,239
That sounds like ALF.
57
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,441
Keep reading.
58
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:06,478
"The creature is said
to be fond of cats
59
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,115
and subsists on a diet of
frozen yogurt and light bulbs."
60
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:14,419
That's my cousin Blinky.
61
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,955
You have a Cousin Blinky?
62
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,891
We call him that because
he likes to eat light bulbs.
63
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,461
ALF, your Cousin Blinky
64
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,731
is not living in Barstow.
65
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,266
How could you say that?
66
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:31,470
It's printed right there next to
Raymond Burr's makeup tips.
67
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,008
Let's try to get a grip
on reality here.
68
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:39,878
Just consider for a moment
the tremendous improbability
69
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,414
of an alien from outer space
70
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,150
actually living with a family..
71
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,923
I'll start the car.
72
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,826
Hold it! Hold it!
73
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,495
Give me the paper.
74
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:57,863
I'm gonna call these people
75
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,299
and I'm gonna
settle this thing right now.
76
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:05,637
Hello, I'm trying
to reach the Susla residence.
77
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,206
I'm so excited, I could squirt.
78
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:10,976
What?
79
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,512
It's just an expression.
80
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:14,980
Are you by any chance the couple
81
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,215
that was in
the "National Inquisitor?"
82
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:21,119
Oh, cut the chit-chat,
let me talk to them.
83
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,522
You don't really have
a creature from outer space
84
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,857
living with you, do you?
85
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,294
And it eats light bulbs?
86
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,098
Nothing over 75 watts.
87
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,701
I see.
88
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:37,102
Hand me the phone.
89
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,005
Would your space alien
happen to be
90
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,207
um, little on the pushy side?
91
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,045
Oh, really?
92
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,814
Well, thank you then.
Thank you.
93
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,849
Thank you very much.
Thank you for your time.
94
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,419
Barstow.
95
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:56,288
No-o-o.
96
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,322
Ye-e-eah.
97
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,894
ALF. Barstow is a three-hour
drive from here.
98
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,864
- But we're cousins.
- ALF, you don't really--
99
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,567
¶ Melmacian cousins
all the way ¶
100
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,968
Believe me, there is a--
101
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,371
¶ One pair
of matching bookends ¶
102
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,605
I'll get my keys.
103
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,007
¶ Barstow we're on our way ¶¶
104
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,812
[instrumental music]
105
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,118
Willie, do I look alright?
106
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,420
You look fine, ALF.
107
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:29,955
You look just as fine
108
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:32,891
as the last 29 times
you asked me.
109
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:37,062
I wanna look my best.
110
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:40,332
I'm really unhappy with this
new cream rinse I've been using.
111
00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:45,871
I realize how important
this is to you, ALF..
112
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,105
...but I-I don't..
113
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,306
[coughs]
114
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:49,674
I don't want you
to be disappoint..
115
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:52,377
[coughing]
116
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,912
What is that?
117
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,681
Antiperspirant.
118
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,351
I sweat when I'm nervous.
119
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:02,287
Put it away.
It smells terrible.
120
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,790
Fine.
121
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:07,626
I'll slap on
some of this cologne instead.
122
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,461
[scoffs]
123
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:10,729
[coughs]
124
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,931
Here, Willie. Smell this.
125
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:15,700
Oh.
126
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,536
[sniffs]
Yeah.
127
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,838
[sniffs]
What's this?
128
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,706
Asbestos.
129
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,508
[coughs]
130
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,883
Too musky?
131
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,823
[blows a raspberry]
132
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,724
As I was saying..
133
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:43,061
...I realized
how important this is to you.
134
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,329
That's why I'm driving
all the way
135
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,831
to Barstow, you know, but I--
136
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,933
Willie, I know
what you're gonna say.
137
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,068
- You do?
- Sure.
138
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,070
And I appreciate the offer.
139
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,139
And I know
that Blinky is gonna
140
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,509
fit into the Tanner household
as well as I do.
141
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,480
[instrumental music]
142
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:07,586
Well, this must be it.
143
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,722
- Well, see you later.
- Oh, no, wait!
144
00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,757
Wait, ALF!
145
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:14,059
Remember our plan.
146
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,928
I go in
and check this out first.
147
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,531
That's your plan.
148
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:23,568
We can't take any chances.
Let caution be our credo.
149
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,839
"Let caution be our credo?"
150
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,374
Stay in the car.
151
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,243
And stay down.
152
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,113
[car door shuts]
153
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,416
I just know I'm gonna squirt.
154
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,355
[spray hissing]
155
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,292
[doorbell rings]
156
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,164
- Hello.
- Hello.
157
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,000
My name is William Tanner.
158
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,301
I called earlier today
159
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,603
regarding your claim
to have an alien.
160
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,039
Right this way.
161
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,377
[door creaks]
162
00:09:07,281 --> 00:09:09,247
Please excuse the house.
163
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,750
It's a bit cluttered
since the tent fire.
164
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,052
Tent fire?
165
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,821
We had a traveling museum
of sorts.
166
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,690
Our lives are devoted
167
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,959
to accessing the unknown
168
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,627
harvesting the bizarre
169
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:26,598
and exploiting the hideous
atrocities of nature.
170
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,067
How nice.
171
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,269
It's a living.
172
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:35,740
Uh, that's Billy the Kid's
mummified mustache.
173
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:39,444
Oh, what's that dried up
pink thing underneath it?
174
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,580
Billy's lips.
175
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:46,918
- About this alien..
- Oh, no. Not another one.
176
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,455
Uh, this is my husband Nick.
177
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,991
Goodbye, Nick.
178
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:54,993
Uh, pleased to meet you,
Mr. Susla.
179
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,361
Uh, I'm Willie Tanner.
180
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,763
The name is pronounced Soosla.
181
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,632
No, no, you, you were right.
182
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,367
It is Susla.
183
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:05,103
I should know
how to pronounce my own name.
184
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,238
I think you should by now.
185
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,975
Don't start with me, Betty.
186
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:11,977
Look, you're wasting your time.
187
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,812
There is no alien here.
188
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,246
What Nick is saying is
189
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:18,416
that the alien's not here
right now.
190
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,151
That's not what I'm saying.
191
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,621
I'm saying
there is no alien here.
192
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,289
Right now.
193
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:29,361
Are you saying
that you don't have an alien?
194
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,097
- Yes. We do.
- No. We don't.
195
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:34,165
I can prove
we have an alien.
196
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:36,635
Uh, I have a photograph.
197
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,905
- Would you like to see it?
- Yes.
198
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:42,707
- How much?
- Very much.
199
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:45,610
No, no, I meant in dollars.
200
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,479
Well, I don't wanna buy it.
I just wanna see it.
201
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:50,015
And how much
is that worth to you?
202
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,317
Save your money.
203
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,756
- I think I'd better be going.
- Oh, wait.
204
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,491
Uh, for ten bucks
205
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,760
I'll let you have
a glimpse of it.
206
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,770
Okay. Fine.
207
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,639
Don't stare. Glimpse.
208
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:22,380
You know, it looked..
209
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,483
...amazingly like
a German shepherd
210
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,420
with some kind of antenna
stuck on his head.
211
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,290
Real amazingly.
212
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,994
What kind of person
would put antennas on a dog?
213
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:39,197
The same kind of person
who would glue a horn on a goat.
214
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:43,068
It's not a goat. It's a unicorn.
215
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,470
Its horn was loose.
216
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,307
Thank you.
217
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,376
Uh, thank you for your time.
218
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,479
And thank you
for sharing that with me.
219
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:57,215
It was certainly
worth the ten dollars.
220
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,284
Wait, uh, for another ten
221
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,453
I'll let you see a picture
of his spaceship.
222
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:05,457
- Maybe another time.
- Oh, too bad.
223
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:08,393
It looks a lot like a hubcap
with lights glued to it.
224
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,563
I'm warning you, Nick.
225
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,399
Goodbye.
226
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,301
[goat bleats]
227
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:17,802
'Oh, pardon me.'
228
00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,270
'Coming through.'
229
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,539
[goat bleats]
230
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,309
- Can I say just one thing?
- What?
231
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,144
I can't live like this anymore.
232
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,712
Oh, what are you talking about?
233
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:31,483
I just got a quick ten bucks
out of that sucker.
234
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:33,918
Fine, we'll apply it
to this month's glue bill.
235
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,257
Oh, ALF. ALF?
236
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,558
[doorbell rings]
237
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,793
[gasps]
238
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,764
ALF!
239
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,767
[instrumental music]
240
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,437
[instrumental music]
241
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,975
In all my years
with traveling freak shows
242
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,844
I've never seen
anything like you.
243
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,647
Likewise.
244
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,551
Except for Jojo, the Beast Boy.
245
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,254
Betty.
246
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,356
This thing ain't
nothing like Jojo.
247
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,224
This thing ain't human.
248
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,326
Thank you.
249
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,562
No, thank you.
250
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,531
You're exactly what we need
251
00:13:19,533 --> 00:13:21,766
to take this show
on the road again.
252
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,170
Show? What show?
253
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,872
Betty, your
sideshow days are over.
254
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:30,275
I don't want you
growing the beard again.
255
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,610
[clicks tongue]
I won't have to.
256
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:36,548
We have our star attraction
right here.
257
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:39,117
I'm, I'm getting
another one of my headaches.
258
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,486
Then go take
another one of your naps.
259
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,257
Look, I appreciate the offer
260
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,860
but I'm really here
to see Blinky.
261
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,161
Uh, Blinky?
262
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,763
Uh, what's Blinky?
263
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:54,132
I know you've got him.
Where is he?
264
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,500
Get me Blinky.
265
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:57,769
Oh, we'll get you a blinky.
266
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:01,673
We'll get you
all the blinky you want.
267
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,709
You're going to be
very happy with us.
268
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,945
[doorbell rings]
269
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:09,948
I'll get rid of whoever that is.
270
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,384
[panting]
271
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,153
Oh, excuse me
for bothering you--
272
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,255
- Go away.
- I, I will. I promise.
273
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,023
I just wanted
to retrieve something--
274
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,458
No refunds.
275
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,293
I-I'm not asking for a refund.
276
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,995
I just wanted some..
May I please come in?
277
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:25,897
I said, "Beat it!"
278
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,765
We're closed!
279
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,635
'Catch us in the spring.
We'll be on the road again.'
280
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:34,405
[doorbell ringing]
281
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:36,774
I'm really sorry, but..
282
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,677
Oh, my.
283
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:43,882
I don't wanna use this.
284
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,352
Go with that impulse.
285
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:53,992
[door creaks]
286
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,230
Was that, Willie?
287
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,333
Oh, no, no. It wasn't anybody.
288
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,103
Uh, why don't you
just take a seat?
289
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,447
[instrumental music]
290
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:19,851
[telephone ringing]
291
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,054
Hello?
292
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,389
Kate, it's me.
293
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,890
Oh, Willie,
we were just beginning to worry.
294
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:28,660
- Is everything alright?
- 'Not exactly.'
295
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,929
Well, what do you mean?
296
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,131
Do they have an alien?
297
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,500
They do now.
298
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,135
- What's going on?
- They have ALF.
299
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,670
And they won't let him go?
300
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,104
I'm gonna go back
and try to get him out
301
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,440
but it, it may take a while.
302
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,175
'Uh, will you call me back?'
303
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:48,279
I can't, Kate. I spent all my
money glimpsing a Polaroid.
304
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,914
Glimpsing a Polaroid?
305
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,283
- A Polaroid of what?
- Of what?
306
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,652
German shepherd...with antennas.
307
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:57,989
- Antennas?
- It has antennas?
308
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,292
It just goes downhill
from there, Kate.
309
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,828
I-I'll call you later.
I love you.
310
00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:06,397
Honey, I love you.
311
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,967
What has antennas?
312
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:11,536
Apparently, German shepherds
in Barstow.
313
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,474
[instrumental music]
314
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,410
[grunting]
315
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:22,914
It's no wonder
Blinky didn't stick around
316
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:26,284
if you treat
all your houseguests like this.
317
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:32,590
How about we bill you
as "Bobo, the Amazing Aardvark.
318
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,625
Hear him talk"?
319
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,661
Betty, come to bed.
320
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,496
Yeah, yeah, in a minute.
321
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:42,433
Oh, you're gonna make us
a lot of money.
322
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,970
How about
Dodo, the Hairy Parrot?
323
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,640
How about telling me
why I'm tied up?
324
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,377
So she can glue antennas on you.
325
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:56,814
Shh! Not in front
of the F-R-E-A-K.
326
00:16:58,151 --> 00:17:00,585
Who's Frank?
327
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,887
I'm going to bed.
You coming or not?
328
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,689
Yeah, yeah.
329
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:08,226
Goodnight, my furry
little gold mine.
330
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,696
Night, Frank.
331
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,302
[door closes]
332
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,838
[grunting]
333
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,207
[thud]
334
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,778
[thud]
335
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:29,347
(Betty)
'Hey, what's going on
in there?'
336
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,082
Nothing.
337
00:17:32,118 --> 00:17:33,151
[thud]
338
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,218
[glass shatters]
339
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,888
Uh, that was nothing also.
340
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:41,359
[screams]
341
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,628
- It's me.
- Willie!
342
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,863
(Betty)
'Keep it quiet in there.'
343
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:49,567
Sorry. Just a painful rope burn.
344
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:55,473
- You alright, ALF?
- I'm fine.
345
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,708
But I don't know
what they've done to Blinky.
346
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,945
Blinky. I'll show you.
347
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,814
Here.
348
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:06,651
This is their alien.
349
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,153
Looks like a German shepherd
with antlers.
350
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,257
Oh, we'll be out of here
in no time.
351
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,662
Or not.
352
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,997
Oh-oh. It's Frank's husband.
353
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,433
Hold it right there.
354
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,668
Freeze!
355
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,169
Don't move!
356
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,540
No, you hold it right there.
Freeze. Don't move.
357
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,709
Do you know what this is?
358
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:34,412
It's either a talking aardvark
or a hairy parrot.
359
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:37,148
Betty hasn't decided yet.
360
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,585
This is a creature possessed
of unimaginable powers.
361
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,821
Powers?
362
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,823
Yes, powers.
You know, your powers.
363
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,059
Your unimaginable powers.
364
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,829
The powers we all find so..
365
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,899
...unimaginable.
366
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:57,468
The powers you don't like to use
unless we're in trouble
367
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,004
and there's no way out.
368
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,641
Oh, those powers.
369
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,779
You know, I don't like
to use those powers, Willie.
370
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:13,017
I feel you must.
371
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,020
Well...alright.
372
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:22,860
Oo-o-oh!
373
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,564
You'd better get out of here
374
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,166
because in..
375
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,301
...in just about ten seconds,
you'll be--
376
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,937
- Ooh!
- Yes.
377
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,274
You'll be flatter
than a flapjack.
378
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,643
(ALF)
'Ooh!'
379
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,179
[grunting]
380
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,080
Yes.
381
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,750
- Ten.
- Ooh!
382
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,652
- Nine. Eight.
- Ah!
383
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,053
- Seven.
- Ah!
384
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,188
(Willie)
'Six.'
385
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,856
[shrieking]
386
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:55,426
Five. Four. Three.
387
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:58,029
- Two. One!
- Yeah!
388
00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:00,665
Two! Three.
389
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,635
Oh, forget it.
It's not working.
390
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,272
What are you gonna do with us?
391
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:12,210
Go on, get out of here.
392
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,744
You mean, you're gonna
let us go?
393
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,913
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Go on.
394
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,415
Well, that's
awfully nice of you.
395
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,916
What nice?
396
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,585
I just don't wanna go
back out on the road
397
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:23,154
with another
rolling geek brigade.
398
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:27,158
I just want a nice, quiet
retirement with my lunatic wife.
399
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,561
I really appreciate this.
400
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,563
Yeah, likewise.
401
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,233
(Betty)
'Nick? What's going on
out there?'
402
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:38,669
Hey! How did he get in here?
403
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:42,106
What's he doing
with my parrot?
404
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:45,643
Stay back, honey. That thing's
got unimaginable powers.
405
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,645
If we don't let him go,
he's gonna squash me
406
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,281
like a two-headed elephant
on a peanut.
407
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:53,184
Since when does
a parrot have powers?
408
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,220
ALF!
409
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:58,956
Whoo-o-o!
410
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,192
Not that! Let's go!
411
00:21:03,329 --> 00:21:05,396
Hey! Glue an antennae on this!
412
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,068
[instrumental music]
413
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,139
[rain pattering]
414
00:21:16,376 --> 00:21:17,908
ALF.
415
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,244
[instrumental music]
416
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:21,279
ALF.
417
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,815
Yeah?
418
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:27,618
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
419
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,020
Me too.
420
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,823
Well, I'm glad you're safe.
421
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,962
Safe and alone...species-wise.
422
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:43,234
You know, we all feel alone
at certain times in our lives.
423
00:21:44,103 --> 00:21:47,638
Feeling alone and being alone
424
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,840
are two different things.
425
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,344
I'm sorry.
426
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,813
ALF, I wish there was
something I could say.
427
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:59,650
I actually believed it, Willie.
428
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,686
I really convinced myself
429
00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:04,522
there might be
others of my kind here.
430
00:22:04,524 --> 00:22:07,258
Well, who knows, pal.
Someday there might be.
431
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,896
[music continues]
432
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:21,505
[instrumental music]
433
00:22:24,077 --> 00:22:26,977
Willie! Willie!
Follow that car! Hurry!
434
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,547
- What car?
- The one that just passed us.
435
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,315
Catch up to it.
436
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:35,319
ALF, there hasn't been a car
on this road for miles.
437
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:36,687
I just saw one!
438
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,889
And Blinky was in it!
439
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:43,094
You must have been
daydreaming, pal.
440
00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:46,163
- I was?
- I mean, think about it.
441
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:47,832
What are the odds
that a creature
442
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,967
from outer space
would be in a car
443
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:53,371
on this road at this time of..
444
00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:56,874
I mean, what are the odds
that two creatures
445
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,777
from outer space
would be in two cars
446
00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:01,979
on this road at..
447
00:23:04,317 --> 00:23:06,784
I think maybe you better
drive for a while.
448
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:09,954
[instrumental music]
449
00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:15,459
[theme music]
450
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:28,139
[music continues]
451
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:42,987
[laughing]