1
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:10,976
The great orange hunter
2
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:13,946
stalks his prey.
3
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:25,257
Ah! He sees it.
The elusive loin of pork.
4
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:29,995
The most prized catch
in the Fridgidari Jungle.
5
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,297
What's this?
6
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,600
"ALF, don't eat this."
7
00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,136
Why would I eat this?
8
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,739
Ever so deftly..
9
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:44,009
...the great orange hunter
maneuvers his weapon.
10
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,911
Once in position
11
00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:47,446
he strikes!
12
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,947
[rumbling]
13
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,620
What? Whoa!
Has the hunter angered the Gods?
14
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,390
[rumbling continues]
15
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,493
Whoa! Uh!
16
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,229
Okay, I won't eat pork!
17
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,634
[theme music]
18
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,700
[music continues]
19
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,929
(Willie)
'Is everybody alright?
Lynn? Brian?'
20
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,131
(Lynn)
'I'm fine, dad.'
21
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,966
(Brian)
'Me too, but I can't find ALF!'
22
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,802
(Willie)
'ALF? ALF?'
23
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:21,707
- Oh!
- Are you in here?
24
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,041
He's not in the attic.
25
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,511
- Look at this mess.
- ALF!
26
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,546
ALF!
27
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:28,914
This was his first quake.
28
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,350
Poor little fella,
he must be terrified.
29
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,754
I found him!
30
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,523
- ALF, are you okay?
- He doesn't look good.
31
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:40,926
It looks like he's in shock.
ALF, say something. Anything.
32
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,861
Armageddon! Annihilation!
33
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,097
White hot tentacles
of doom spit fire!
34
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,466
Venom! Screeching!
Help me! Help me!
35
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:48,767
- ALF.
- Help me! Help me!
36
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,002
- Ruination! Devastation..
- ALF!
37
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:51,703
Apocalypse now! Now, now..
38
00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,439
Thanks, Willie.
39
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,441
Now I'm blind.
40
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,010
Your eyes are closed.
41
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,979
Oh.
42
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,748
Here, let me help you.
43
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:07,653
Oh, this may stagger
your imagination a whit
44
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:10,455
but I had nothing
to do with this mess.
45
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:12,057
We know, ALF,
we know.
46
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:14,960
- You do?
- We had an earthquake.
47
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:18,797
- I see.
- And it was a good one.
48
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,733
What was good about it?
Why do we have it?
49
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,468
What was it?
50
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,737
Well, let me see
if I can explain it, ALF.
51
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,573
You see, the crust of our planet
52
00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:30,008
is made of plates
of layered rock
53
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,311
that are in continual movement.
54
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:34,546
Now, when the pressure
beneath becomes
55
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,914
too great,
it's released through--
56
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,383
Thank you, Mr. Wizard.
57
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,353
Kate, the short strokes, please.
58
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:45,390
Do you remember when
Godzilla destroyed Tokyo?
59
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,994
Well, that's a rather
extreme example, Kate.
60
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,064
Raymond Burr analogies
are rarely pretty.
61
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,200
Look, we-we just
had an earthquake
62
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,835
and we are all fine.
63
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,170
We just have to
remember to be prepared
64
00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:01,740
and follow some
basic safety rules.
65
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,177
Willie, get the ledger!
Kate has more rules!
66
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:07,946
(Raquel)
'Kate? Willie?
Is anybody home?'
67
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,215
(Kate)
ALF, get in the kitchen.
68
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:13,185
Uh, that is,
stay in the kitchen.
69
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,689
- Oh, hi, Raquel.
- Willie, Kate.
70
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:21,226
- We had an earthquake!
- Uh, so did we.
71
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,161
- How's Lynn?
- Oh, Lynn's fine.
72
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,963
- Does she need comforting?
- Oh, no, she's fine.
73
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,099
- 'Cause if she does, I could--
- She's fine!
74
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:30,602
- Glad to hear it.
- So where's Trevor?
75
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,104
On the porch.
76
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,173
Trevor, come on in.
77
00:04:39,013 --> 00:04:41,546
Is this structural?
78
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,248
Yes, I believe so.
79
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,685
Well, if you don't mind,
I'd like to stand here.
80
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,021
Trevor, I-I've never
seen you like this.
81
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:54,092
Oh-oh-oh, Trevor,
it's-it's gonna be alright.
82
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,962
It-it-it's gonna be alright.
83
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,898
Trevor, this is making me
very uncomfortable.
84
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,437
I'm sorry.
I'm just traumatized.
85
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:08,106
He always acts like this
after an earthquake.
86
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,842
Or whenever Whoopi Goldberg's
on "Star Trek."
87
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,913
You know, Trevor, uh
88
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,316
statistically you have
more chance of being injured
89
00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:20,452
in your own bathtub
than you have in an earthquake.
90
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,820
Oh, yeah?
91
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,422
When's the last time
your bathtub opened up
92
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:26,825
and swallowed you streaming into
the fiery bowels of the earth?
93
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:30,128
He's got me there.
94
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,164
Well, we'll be on our way.
95
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,499
We just wanted to make sure
that you were okay.
96
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,369
And say hi to Lynn,
and everybody for me.
97
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,738
- Trevor, you'll be fine.
- You think so?
98
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,873
Of course.
99
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,142
With the proper
professional assistance.
100
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:50,082
We live on a planet
with fiery bowels?
101
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,485
Trevor was just overreacting.
102
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:56,388
You know, I'd hate to see him
in a big earthquake.
103
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,491
But we just
had a big earthquake.
104
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:03,562
- Didn't we?
- They can be bigger.
105
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,097
How much bigger?
106
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,599
A little bigger.
107
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,203
Can they be a lot bigger?
108
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:14,639
Well, yes, sometimes.
Not often, though.
109
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,341
Just-just relax, ALF.
110
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,245
Right...relax.
111
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,883
Is this thing structural?
112
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,853
[instrumental music]
113
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,159
You know, in a way,
that jolt we had last night
114
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,561
was probably a very good thing.
115
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,398
If you enjoyed it that much,
why not just strap
116
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:44,035
a lightning rod on your head
and wander around in the rain?
117
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,737
No, I think what
Willie means is that
118
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,407
it's reminded us to come out
and check our supplies.
119
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,108
It says here
that we should have
120
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,111
a half gallon of water
a day for each of us.
121
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:56,281
So for two weeks,
that makes 35 gallons.
122
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:58,850
Well, hey, yeah.
123
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,752
Uh..
124
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,688
Hey! Ahem.
35 gallons of water.
125
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,124
Wait, I have questions.
126
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,727
Why do we need
so much bottled water?
127
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:10,629
Well, that's in case
our water supply
128
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,997
becomes contaminated.
129
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,465
What about food?
130
00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:16,268
We have a two-week
supply of food.
131
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:19,371
We have peanut butter,
we have granola bars
132
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:23,975
evaporated milk,
canned meat, fish.
133
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,744
We had a two-week supply
of peanut butter
134
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:29,881
granola bars, evaporated milk,
canned meat and fish.
135
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,751
It was nowhere near
a two-week supply.
136
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:35,086
I ate it in 37 minutes.
137
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,624
ALF, those were
our survival rations.
138
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,860
And I survived.
139
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,962
Now, you know they work.
140
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,966
Restock foodstuffs.
141
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,968
Padlock foodstuffs.
142
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,471
[instrumental music]
143
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,479
I, uh, saw the truck outside.
144
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,814
I guess the extra water
we ordered came.
145
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,684
Oh, yes, water came.
146
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,986
Last load.
147
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:18,630
Four hundred and
seventy-six dollars.
148
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,068
I'm afraid, uh, we didn't
order this much water.
149
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,572
You got a Gordon Shumway
at this address?
150
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:30,175
Just once, I was hoping
that just once
151
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,478
it might be
a legitimate mistake.
152
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,315
Uh, say, I don't suppose
there's a chance
153
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,519
you could take a couple dozen
of these back?
154
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,222
That's pickup.
I'm delivery.
155
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,459
Well, goodbye, or as we
like to say au reservoir.
156
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,833
What'll it be? Cup of soup?
157
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:57,135
Cocoa with teeny marshmallows?
158
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,771
Or maybe just the
straight stuff straight up.
159
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,242
I know that look.
160
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,280
I find it unsettling.
161
00:09:09,816 --> 00:09:11,616
[instrumental music]
162
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,585
[hammering]
163
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,290
ALF?
164
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,160
Oh, hi, Willie.
165
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,362
What are you doing?
166
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,298
Hammering.
167
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,567
Could you be
a little more specific?
168
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,402
Hammering nails.
169
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,506
Why are you nailing
your bed to the floor?
170
00:09:34,508 --> 00:09:37,075
Well, it wouldn't make much
sense to Scotch tape it
171
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,044
now, would it?
172
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,180
ALF, nailing your bed down
173
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,516
isn't gonna help you
during an earthquake.
174
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:47,385
It'll keep me from
sliding down the stairs.
175
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,154
Then I'm running
a bumper around the bed
176
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,655
for shock absorption.
177
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:55,360
And underneath, in case of
a tidal wave...pontoons.
178
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:56,962
I'm telling you, Willie,
this bed is gonna be
179
00:09:56,964 --> 00:10:00,031
the safest place in the house.
180
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,800
ALF, I really don't--
181
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,368
I know what you're gonna say
182
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:05,503
and I could put you
in one of these babies
183
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:08,707
for 99.95, yes?
184
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,676
That's 99.95.
185
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:13,044
[screaming]
186
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,713
It's okay, ALF.
It's an aftershock.
187
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,415
- Come into the doorway!
- I'll be safer in here!
188
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,852
Oh-h-h.
189
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,724
Two seconds later,
and I would have had
190
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:29,127
the weight of the world
where my head used to be.
191
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,398
No, ALF, that-that-that's
only a globe.
192
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,067
That wouldn't have hurt you.
193
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,203
Don't you see, Willie?
194
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,372
It's a sign.
195
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:42,340
No matter what you do
196
00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,843
no matter how many
precautions you take
197
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,479
sooner or later
this planet is gonna get ya.
198
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,749
Oh, take it easy, ALF.
199
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,283
You'll be fine.
200
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,552
Yeah, but for how long?
201
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,421
Face it, Willie.
202
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,691
Earth is hazardous
to your health.
203
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,895
[instrumental music]
204
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:09,735
[instrumental music]
205
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,669
I know this is hard
for you to understand, Bri.
206
00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:13,338
It's hard for me
to understand too.
207
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,241
Sometimes it's Bert Convy,
sometimes it's Vicki Lawrence
208
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,309
sometimes it's Sally Struthers.
209
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,911
But no matter who hosts
210
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,313
it's always
"Win, Lose Or Draw."
211
00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,350
That's a load off my mind.
212
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,452
[knock on door]
213
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,987
(Jake)
'It's me. Jake!'
214
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,555
It's open.
215
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,792
- Hey, guys!
- Morning, Jake!
216
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,893
- Hi.
- Hi.
217
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,728
Hi, Jake,
so how did your Uncle Trevor
218
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,797
handle that
aftershock last night?
219
00:11:38,799 --> 00:11:42,200
Not too well. He started
sleepin' in the doorway.
220
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,070
Well, that's just silly.
221
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:48,573
I know, but at least he wakes up
with the morning paper handy.
222
00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:52,744
Willie..
223
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,879
...just let me look at ya.
224
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,283
Kate!
225
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:02,187
Funny, special Kate.
226
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:05,490
Lynn, why..
227
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,325
Why, you're a woman now.
228
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:13,565
Brian...is this
the little boy I carried?
229
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,335
And, Jake..
230
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,270
What is a friend?
231
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:22,240
A friend...is Jake.
232
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,246
Let's all just...be.
233
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,917
You wanna stay
for breakfast, Jake?
234
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,519
Okay. Here.
235
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:36,654
Ah, the complex parade
236
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:38,757
that is life.
237
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:42,026
ALF, is this something
we should be asking you about?
238
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:44,496
It's simple, oh, my Willie.
239
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:47,132
Last night's
narrowly averted tragedy
240
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,933
gave me pause.
241
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,302
I thought you already had paws.
242
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,805
Ha ha ha ha ha.
243
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,242
Witty, urbane Lynn.
244
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:58,977
[laughs]
245
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,278
What I meant was
246
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,647
it gave me pause to think.
247
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:05,183
I've been trying
to escape my fate
248
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,218
but there is no escape!
249
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,220
If an earthquake doesn't get me
250
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,122
a monsoon might.
251
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,423
Or an avalanche.
252
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,759
Or a firestorm.
253
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:17,529
Or...food poisoning.
254
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:20,999
What is your point?
255
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,467
My point is
256
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:25,637
any breath I draw
could be my last.
257
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:28,873
So I'm going to savor
every moment I have left.
258
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,411
There goes one now.
259
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,481
What's wrong with ALF?
260
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,916
Nothing's wrong with me.
261
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,652
I've simply adopted
a new philosophy.
262
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:43,321
Eat, drink, and be merry.
263
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:47,659
- For tomorrow we croak.
- Tomorrow?
264
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:51,462
It's just an expression, Brian,
albeit a mangled one.
265
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,164
Are you sure
you're alright, ALF?
266
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,734
I'm fine.
In fact, I'm perfect.
267
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,537
Come on, everyone,
let's all join hands
268
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,973
for a chorus of "Kumbaya."
269
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:05,677
[instrumental music]
270
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,381
[birds chirping]
271
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:11,583
Okay..
272
00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:14,052
[speaking French]
273
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,823
[clicks tongue]
I should have stuck with Latin.
274
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,993
[inhales deeply]
275
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,462
[sighs]
Lynnocence
276
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,931
my lovely flower of spring
277
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:29,801
seeing you brings
a lump to my throat.
278
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,603
Not unlike a goiter.
279
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,172
ALF, that's gross.
280
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,807
Alright, a bunion.
281
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,210
I really don't have
time for this.
282
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,612
I've got to learn this French
283
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,348
plus I've got
a history final tomorrow.
284
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:45,650
History is history!
285
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:49,320
What's important is today,
now, this moment.
286
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,623
Savor, Lynn.
287
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,925
Look, ALF,
if I don't study today
288
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:57,896
I'll be savoring failure
about 9:45 tomorrow morning.
289
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:01,399
How many temblors will it
take for you to see the light?
290
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,968
We've only had two.
291
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:09,207
Well...perhaps I'm more
introspective than you.
292
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:12,543
Well, when I think of
all the moments on Melmac
293
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,712
that are lost forever
294
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,415
because I didn't take
the time to savor them.
295
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,952
Like the time,
Benny Fudderman and I..
296
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,155
See, I forgot.
297
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:26,324
Oh!
298
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,660
If only I had savored.
299
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,264
Lynn...take a tip.
300
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:37,435
Be...here...now.
301
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:42,840
You take a tip.
Be...gone...now.
302
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:46,010
I take my leave.
303
00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:50,682
If you need me, I'll be out
with God watching Brian grow.
304
00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:52,917
- Right.
- Oh, and Lynn..
305
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:55,453
I love you.
306
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,589
[chuckles]
307
00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,658
[instrumental music]
308
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,830
What if I talk dad into moving
someplace where it's safe?
309
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:09,000
- Like where?
- I don't know.
310
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,435
Kansas?
311
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:13,371
You could be
blown away by a tornado.
312
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,707
How about Hawaii?
313
00:16:15,709 --> 00:16:17,842
The volcanoes will get ya.
314
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:21,145
- Canada?
- Blizzards!
315
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,648
- Florida?
- Old age!
316
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,318
So live, Brian, live!
317
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,555
Because...sooner or later..
318
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,859
ALF!
319
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:38,596
- Hey, ALF, Brian.
- Hey, Jake.
320
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,165
Jake...less than a brother
321
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,301
more than a friend,
have you been sav--
322
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,904
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been
savorin' life left and right.
323
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:50,908
That's good.
Because life is like death row.
324
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:54,812
And every day you live
is a stay of execution
325
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:58,282
until the one day when
the big governor in the sky
326
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,852
doesn't make that phone call.
327
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,920
I think I'll go
inside for a while.
328
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,623
Okay, B.
Hey, savor your parents for me.
329
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,291
Oh, and Brian!
330
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,494
- What?
- I love you.
331
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,966
Don't you think
you might be scarin' the kid?
332
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:19,470
Scarin' him? I'm teaching him
how to enjoy life.
333
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:22,440
- Have it your way.
- Oh, Jake..
334
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,043
In case this is the last time
we see each other--
335
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,678
Will you cut out
all this last-time stuff?
336
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,349
I'm just goin' home!
What's gonna happen to me there?
337
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:34,719
Well, you could slip in the tub,
choke on your dinner
338
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,622
fall down the stairs,
trip over the dog
339
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,123
accidentally flush yourself--
340
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:41,492
I'll come back
when you're in a better mood.
341
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:44,529
Oh, hey, Jake!
I love you!
342
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,864
And I mean that.
343
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:47,999
Truly.
344
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:51,202
[instrumental music]
345
00:17:52,939 --> 00:17:56,574
- Brian?
- 'Hi, dad.'
346
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,811
- Brian?
- 'I'm under here.'
347
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:02,547
Well, pfft, we've been looking
all over for you.
348
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,282
What are you doing
under the bed?
349
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:07,318
- 'This is where I live now.'
- What?
350
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,755
(Brian)
'This way, if anything happens
I'll be safe.'
351
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:14,959
- Safe from what?
- 'Well, everything.'
352
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,797
(Willie)
It's no good keeping things
like this inside.
353
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,232
If something's bothering you
354
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:24,535
it's important
to-to tell somebody about it.
355
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,604
I agree, honey.
356
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,072
Hi, Kate.
357
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,241
But why are you talking
to Brian's bed?
358
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,877
(Brian)
'Hi, mom.'
359
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,512
Bri?
360
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,948
Bri, what are you
doing under there?
361
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:39,150
It's the only place
he feels safe.
362
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,620
Brian..
363
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,655
Why-why are you so frightened?
364
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,858
(Brian)
'Because tomorrow we croak.'
365
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,595
Why does that sound familiar?
366
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,130
Listen, Brian, uh..
367
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:54,932
none of us
is going to croak
368
00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:57,702
for a long, long time.
369
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,837
(Brian)
'You can't be sure.'
370
00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:03,241
No, but...I can be almost sure.
371
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:06,477
And I'll tell you
something I am sure of.
372
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,012
If you spend you're whole life
373
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:11,215
worrying about all
the bad things that could happen
374
00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,484
you're gonna miss
all the good things
375
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,986
that will happen.
376
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:18,256
Oh, there you guys are!
377
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,424
I want to savor you.
378
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,460
Oh, good, good.
You can start with Brian.
379
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:26,063
- He's under the bed.
- What's he doing under there?
380
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:29,767
Have you ever heard of
catastrophic expectations?
381
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,068
Of course.
382
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,404
It's a Melmacian dating service.
383
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,742
No, ALF,
catastrophic expectations
384
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,745
means you live your life
fearing the worst.
385
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:44,315
So?
386
00:19:44,317 --> 00:19:47,718
So that's exactly
what you've been doing!
387
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,854
Hey, if you've got
a good thing going
388
00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:53,057
I say stick with it.
389
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,592
We don't care
if you stick with it
390
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,861
but you're scaring Brian.
391
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,764
Oh, he's savoring dust bunnies.
392
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,466
Come on out, B.
393
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,869
(Brian)
'I'm not coming out.
I'm never coming out!'
394
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,673
Whoa-ho-ho.
Extreme!
395
00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:12,543
There's nothing wrong
with living cautiously.
396
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,947
But if you spend each day
focusing on mortality
397
00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:18,149
each day a little piece of you
398
00:20:18,151 --> 00:20:20,651
is going to experience
that mortality.
399
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:22,620
Do you understand me, ALF?
400
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,389
No.
401
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:30,661
(Brian)
'I do. You mean don't be scared
of stuff until it happens.'
402
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,797
Gee, Willie,
why didn't you say that?
403
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,066
I thought I did.
404
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,668
All I wanna know is
405
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,171
does this leave room
for savoring?
406
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:42,740
Of course it does, ALF.
407
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,775
Just savor life out of joy
408
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,711
not out of fear.
409
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,313
So what you're saying is
410
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:51,382
we should eat, drink,
and be merry
411
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:53,951
for tomorrow we eat, drink,
and be merry again.
412
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,921
Let's try,
eat, drink
413
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,757
and clean up
anything you spill.
414
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:03,794
Why don't you come out
from under the bed, Bri?
415
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,634
- Feeling better?
- A little.
416
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:11,902
Hey, sorry
if I scared you, B.
417
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:14,105
No problem.
418
00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:17,141
- Uh, you wouldn't want to--
- The helmet stays.
419
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,378
[instrumental music]
420
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:28,886
Uh, I thought
you were delivery, not pickup.
421
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:32,490
I got a promotion.
Just my luck, huh?
422
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:36,394
Well, uh, I guess this covers
the delivery and the, uh
423
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:40,631
thirty-five gallons we are
keeping a-a-and the pickup.
424
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,267
Can you throw a little somethin'
in here for my chiropractor?
425
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:47,171
No.
426
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,406
Yeah.
427
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:50,341
Well, thanks for everything.
428
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,083
Hey, is all my water gone?
429
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,453
Yes, thankfully.
430
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:05,356
Well, that's too bad.
I had a great idea.
431
00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:08,192
- Wanna hear about it?
- Not especially.
432
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:13,864
But it's hot. It's now,
it's quintessential late '80s.
433
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:16,567
Would you speak
no more about this?
434
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,469
Fine.
435
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,004
But without the water slide
436
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:22,907
I don't think Tannerland
is gonna catch on.
437
00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:27,812
[instrumental music]
438
00:22:33,653 --> 00:22:35,853
[theme music]
439
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:03,614
[ALF laughing]