1 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,569 (ALF) 'Yuck! Too ripe.' 2 00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:08,207 Nope, this one doesn't look good either. 3 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:12,611 Nope. 4 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,814 This one has a worm in it. 5 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,182 Mine! 6 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,584 You eat worms? 7 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,452 What else are you supposed to do with them? 8 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,488 Use them for bait? 9 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,490 (Kate) 'Brian, time for dinner.' 10 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:25,524 Okay. 11 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,659 - You coming, ALF? - No, go ahead. 12 00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,862 Your mother won't let me eat worms in the house. 13 00:00:30,998 --> 00:00:32,731 - Enjoy. - Thanks. 14 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,370 There's no worm in this! 15 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,244 Oh, howdy, Raquel. 16 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,779 [screams] 17 00:00:53,654 --> 00:00:55,821 [screams] 18 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:59,958 [theme music] 19 00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:29,988 [music continues] 20 00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:01,587 [instrumental music] 21 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,689 [ALF screaming] 22 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,425 Red alert! Red alert! Alien coming through! 23 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,096 What was ALF running for? 24 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,265 (ALF) 'Uh, occupied!' 25 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,634 Oh, I'm sorry. 26 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,970 ALF knows that's not a bathroom, doesn't he? 27 00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,571 I hope so. 28 00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,040 ALF. 29 00:02:22,042 --> 00:02:23,075 ALF! 30 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,979 Say, ALF, what's going on? 31 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,046 [doorbell] 32 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:30,048 Uh, uh, get the front door, Willie. 33 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,783 It may be self-evident. 34 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:36,555 Oh, Kate, Willie! 35 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,158 It was horrifying, it was simply horrifying! 36 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,093 It had a long...and two big.. 37 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:43,228 Raquel, please don't do this. 38 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,930 She's imagining things. 39 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,465 I am not imagining things. 40 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,433 There is a monster loose in the neighborhood. 41 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:49,735 A monster? 42 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:53,338 Oh, are you going to form an angry mob? 43 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,507 I saw it in your back yard. 44 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,443 And I could swear I've seen it once before. 45 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,347 What did this monster look like? 46 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,417 Uh...like bigfoot, only little. 47 00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,720 It ran behind your garage. 48 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,589 Oh, it might still be there. 49 00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,791 Uh, maybe we should go have a look. 50 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,326 Oh, good, good, good. But you go first. 51 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:17,963 Uh, Raquel, Raquel, I'm sure that there's nothing out there. 52 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,766 Oh, fine! Well, then, you just tell that to it! 53 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,771 Raquel.. 54 00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:28,974 Uh, will you tell it that I'd like to speak to him. 55 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,285 Big foot? 56 00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:41,887 Well, she's one to talk. 57 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,690 I could shoot the rapids in one of her gunboats. 58 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:51,530 It was right over here! 59 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,766 See. It was eating the avocados. 60 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,936 How considerate of it to have taken a single bite 61 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,605 out of every one. 62 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,273 Look at this bite pattern. 63 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,307 Four teeth. 64 00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:04,343 That is not human. 65 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:07,045 Your mother had four teeth. 66 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,348 Bad example. 67 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:12,117 Maybe it was a dog. 68 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,119 It knew my name! 69 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,156 Maybe-e-e it was a neighborhood dog. 70 00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:23,028 Raquel, you know how the mind 71 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,963 plays terrible tricks on a person. 72 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,432 Yeah, I bet it was that extra garlic 73 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,434 you put on your pizza this morning. 74 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,970 You had the pizza. 75 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,372 Ixnay, Raquel. 76 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,007 I'm just trying to cover for ya. 77 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:38,710 I don't need you to cover for me! I am telling the truth! 78 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,980 Fine! You saw little bigfoot. 79 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,215 I'm out of it. 80 00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:46,785 Well, it looked like a little Bigfoot. 81 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,554 Uh, uh, maybe it was one of those, uh, you know 82 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,223 wrinkly dogs from China. 83 00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:55,260 They're...a-always being mistaken for something else. 84 00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,962 No, no, this was different. 85 00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:01,199 It looked like something from...another world. 86 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,802 The soap opera? 87 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:08,573 No, it was a creature from outer space! 88 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,776 Willie, you went to college. 89 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,978 Tell her there's no such thing as spacemen. 90 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:18,016 Well...I can't say that for sure. 91 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:21,953 It is possible that there are beings from other worlds 92 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,323 that could come to visit us someday 93 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:27,759 and stay even in fact overstay. 94 00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,829 Not even once offer to pay for their own food.. 95 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,967 ...so I hear. 96 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,202 I give up. You're all nuts. 97 00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,804 Come on, Raquel. We're going home. 98 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,073 No, no, it may be dangerous. 99 00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:43,075 We must warn the Alien Task Force. 100 00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:45,877 No, no. Why? You did that before they didn't believe you. 101 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,746 Why do you think they'll believe you now? 102 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:51,149 Fine! Then I'll have to warn everybody myself. 103 00:05:52,086 --> 00:05:53,352 Yoo hoo! 104 00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,986 Mr. Litwak! Yoo-hoo! 105 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,755 Raquel? Raquel! 106 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,824 [indistinct chatter] 107 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,260 Honey, you don't think the Litwaks 108 00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,362 will believe her, do you? 109 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,896 Kate, the Litwaks believe 110 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,466 Dick Clark is 23 years old. 111 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,669 [instrumental music] 112 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,538 - Did they leave? - Yeah. 113 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,006 Where's small foot? 114 00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,945 What is this sudden obsession with my feet? 115 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,550 Brian, uh, I want you to go outside 116 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,919 and see if Mrs. Ochmonek is alarming anyone. 117 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,621 You want me to spy on her? 118 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,023 No, no. No, no. I want you to go outside. 119 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:36,962 I want you to look around and see if Mrs...uh, yeah, go spy. 120 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,700 You know, I don't think that Raquel is gonna rest 121 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,935 until she gets her spaceman. 122 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,670 What if we borrowed a hairy animal 123 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,506 and let it loose on her yard? 124 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,474 Define hairy animal. 125 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:50,709 A goat. 126 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,577 An ant-rater. 127 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,113 A baboon. Yeah, no. No an orangutan. 128 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:58,316 - That's orange. - Who're you calling orange? 129 00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:00,185 I'm burnt sienna. 130 00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,854 I'm sorry ALF. No offense. 131 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,456 Well, none taken. 132 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,658 You hairless pink suburbanite. 133 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,395 There's a crowd around Mrs. Ochmonek. 134 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,863 Oh, no! 135 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:14,232 Don't worry, don't worry. We'll find a way out of this. 136 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,536 In the meantime ALF, you'll just have to stay inside. 137 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,571 Well define meantime. 138 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,173 For as long as it takes. 139 00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,608 Well, define as long as it takes. 140 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,177 Until Raquel forgets 141 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:28,380 she saw a talking midget Bigfoot with four teeth. 142 00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,684 Well, we're talking well into next week. 143 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:42,627 I noticed you spend a lot of time fixing stuff, Willie. 144 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:46,364 That's because you spend a lot of time breaking stuff, ALF. 145 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,669 Well, it's nice that our hobbies are so compatible. 146 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,410 Could you, could you stop the pacing? 147 00:07:58,412 --> 00:07:59,978 I pace when I'm bored. 148 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:03,381 I've been under house arrest for almost a month. 149 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,917 It's been two days, ALF. 150 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,887 Then why did I carve 30 notches on your banister? 151 00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,089 Because you're a vandal. 152 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,896 Look what I found. It's a picture of ALF. 153 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,965 What? Let me see. 154 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,435 "Be on the lookout for this 155 00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:26,004 hideous looking space creature?" 156 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,507 Well, if that isn't a case of the orbit guard 157 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,709 calling the cat rancher a hairball! 158 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,945 They're on all of the telephone poles. 159 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,881 Oh, no. This is terrible. 160 00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:38,917 Well, you're right! That picture looks nothing like me. 161 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,820 If my ears were that big, I could pick up HBO. 162 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,756 We've got to do something. 163 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,959 Yes, Brian, go to all the telephone poles 164 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,528 and erase the ears. 165 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:53,131 I repeat, erase the ears. 166 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,500 Okay. I'll make the nose bigger, too. 167 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,207 [Brian loudly] 'Oh, hi, Mr. Ochmonek.' 168 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,776 (Trevor) 'Oh, hi, Brian, where's your dad?' 169 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:08,713 [Brian loudly] 'He's in the garage. All by himself!' 170 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:12,784 [Trevor loudly] 'Well, thanks a lot! See you later!' 171 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,587 ALF, hide. 172 00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,290 No. It's time I took a stand. 173 00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:21,359 It is a far, far better thing that I do. 174 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,094 [knock at door] 175 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,897 I'll be far, far under the workbench. 176 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,936 Oh, hey, Trevor, wh-what's up? 177 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:33,939 Ask Raquel. She's driving me nuts. 178 00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,974 You know she even made a sculpture of the creature 179 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,043 out of mashed potatoes. 180 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,544 That is pretty bizarre. 181 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,914 Hey watch it! That's my wife you're talking about. 182 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,983 Oh, I-I'm sorry. 183 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:50,088 This is a wild imagination, that's all. 184 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,656 She used to think you guys were taking 185 00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,858 a sip out of our milk every morning. 186 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:02,601 She's making us the laughing stock of the neighborhood. 187 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,836 I hate to say it, Willie.. 188 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,471 ...I think she's wacko. 189 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,607 (Raquel) Trevor? Trevor. 190 00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:09,908 Dumpling. 191 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,377 I just got a call from the "Lenny Scott Show." 192 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,647 Lenny wants to interview me on tonight's program. 193 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,849 Oh, no, not Lenny Scott! 194 00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,551 Who's Lenny Scott? 195 00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,219 He has a local talk show. 196 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,022 He has all kinds of kooks and weirdoes on. 197 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:27,859 He ridicules 'em, then he makes fun of them. 198 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,095 It doesn't matter who ridicules you 199 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,030 if you're telling the truth. 200 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:33,632 I'm sorry, pumpkin. 201 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:37,902 I just hate to see you blabbing this thing all over the city. 202 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,404 The truth must be told 203 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,841 and finally someone wants me to tell it. Oh! 204 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,275 Not me. 205 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,744 Me, either. 206 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,911 Raquel! 207 00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,680 I'm on my knees. 208 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:49,914 Don't do this! 209 00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,450 The name Ochmonek always stood for class. 210 00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:59,524 And you were reincarnated 57 times? 211 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:02,494 'I see, you're trying to break Shirley MacLaine's record.' 212 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:03,928 Is Raquel on yet? 213 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:06,698 No, Lenny's still talking to the fat lady. 214 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:11,002 (Lenny) 'So, you were Lady Godiva in a former life, huh?' 215 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,872 Your horse must have loved that! 216 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,207 How would you rate this guy in the sleaze ball scale? 217 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,244 Oh, somewhere between a leech and a shark. 218 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:21,146 (Lenny) 'We'll take our first caller now.' 219 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:23,181 'You're on the air.' 220 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,049 Poor ALF. 221 00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,450 You realize that after tonight 222 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,319 thousands of people will be coming to look for him. 223 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,655 I hope they don't take ALF away. 224 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,491 Well, you hope they don't take ALF away. 225 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,194 How could you be eating popcorn at a time like this? 226 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,496 We're out of potato chips. 227 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,231 Besides, I always snack 228 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,901 when I'm going to be exposed on TV. 229 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,202 There she is. 230 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:49,007 Our next guest is Raquel Ouch-my-neck. 231 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,479 [audience cheering and applauding] 232 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,215 Thank you. 233 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,951 It's pronounced Ochmonek. 234 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,087 Well, I'll just call you Raquel. 235 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:05,290 So, what's your story, Raquel? 236 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,426 Well, the other day.. 237 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,930 ...I saw this in my neighbor's back yard. 238 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:14,399 [audience laughs] 239 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,569 You saw a pile of mashed potatoes? 240 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:22,340 Hey, it's me, only lumpier. 241 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:25,443 No, this is a model of the space creature I saw. 242 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,345 Oh. 243 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,114 Must be from the planet Spud. 244 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,182 [audience laughs] 245 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,251 Well, I don't know what planet it was from. 246 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:37,589 But it spoke English. It said, "Oh, howdy, Raquel." 247 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:40,258 "Oh, howdy, Raquel?" 248 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,560 Must be from the southern part of the universe. 249 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,899 Well, it sounds like you had a close encounter 250 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,768 of the "ya-hoo" kind, huh? 251 00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,203 [audience laughing] 252 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,273 This is a great show, huh? 253 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,174 No! 254 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,176 ALF he's being mean. 255 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,912 Really? Well I didn't get that at all. 256 00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,413 Did you, Brian? 257 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,115 Yes! 258 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:07,519 Huh! I must've been thrown off by his subtlety. 259 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,756 Well.. 260 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,758 ...look who just dropped in! 261 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,628 It's Mr. Cuckoo. 262 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,164 And he's chosen you for his mate. 263 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,033 Are you calling me cuckoo? 264 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:25,270 Well, let's find out. Are you calling her cuckoo, Mr. Cuckoo? 265 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,971 Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. 266 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,108 [audience] Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. 267 00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,310 You're right! He is mean. 268 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,412 - I'm leaving. - Where are you going? 269 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:38,316 The kitchen. I'm going on a hunger strike in protest. 270 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,451 First, I'm gonna strike the chocolate cake. 271 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,787 Then, I'm gonna dive bomb the cheese log. 272 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,926 Tell me, Raquel. 273 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:51,830 Uh, do you have any physical proof about what you saw? 274 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,498 Pictures? Footprints? 275 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,700 An English-Martian dictionary? 276 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,169 Just this. 277 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,737 Is that one of it's eggs. 278 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,439 No. No. 279 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,375 The creature took a bite out of that avocado, you see? 280 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,812 Oh, no, it's the invasion of the guacamole snatchers! 281 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:08,847 Whoo! 282 00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,449 [audience laughing] 283 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,686 You're making, a re you making fun of me? 284 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,188 I think, we'll take our first caller. 285 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,391 Oh, howdy. 286 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,427 (ALF on speaker) 'Howdy, yourself.' 287 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:25,797 'I wanna say that Mrs. Ochmonek knows what she's talking about.' 288 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,667 They're coming out of the woodwork tonight. 289 00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,436 [audience cheering] 290 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,137 (ALF) 'Aliens do exist.' 291 00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,540 'And they've visited this planet many times.' 292 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,476 'Although they don't drink the water.' 293 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:42,380 That voice...it sounds so familiar. 294 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,351 Folks, I'd like to report a UFO. 295 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,720 An unidentified flaky object. 296 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,588 [audience laughing] 297 00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,392 Well, listen, I couldn't help noticing your hair. 298 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:57,762 Is that a toupee, or did you sprout polyester? 299 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:01,299 It's ALF. It's him. 300 00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:04,302 Hello? Hello? 301 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:07,672 He hung up on me. 302 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:11,042 ALF, what ever possessed you to do such a thing? 303 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:15,346 Hey, somebody had to defend Mrs. Ochmonek's honor. 304 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,583 Don't you realize what a chance you were taking? 305 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,818 Things were getting out of hand, Kate. 306 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,554 I just wanted to be the voice of reason. 307 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:28,893 You missed it, ALF. They just voted you cuckoo of the week. 308 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,128 Again? 309 00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,070 Where's Lizard taking you? 310 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,072 Oh, to a science fiction movie. 311 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,774 Something about this guy being shrunk 312 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,376 and then injected into someone else. 313 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,211 Oh, that's not science fiction. 314 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,080 A friend of mine did that once. 315 00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:52,650 He took a wrong turn and got stuck in the guy's nose. 316 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,319 - ALF. - Wait! 317 00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,988 I didn't tell you the good part, how he got out. 318 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,390 - See, what they had-- - We don't wanna know. 319 00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:03,695 - 'Hi, dad.' - 'Hi, honey.' 320 00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:04,829 Hi, honey. 321 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:08,833 What's the good word? 322 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,902 Oh, well, the good word is, uh.. 323 00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,237 ...it looks like you're safe. 324 00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,407 Trevor's going around taking down all the posters. 325 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,110 Oh, heat's off? I'll be at the beach. 326 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,579 - ALF. - Well, I've got sun block. 327 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,582 You're staying right here. 328 00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,453 What's the bad word? 329 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,620 Raquel. 330 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,889 I feel just terrible for her. 331 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,392 She's been so traumatized by this whole experience 332 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,027 that she-she won't talk to anyone. 333 00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:39,530 She just sits in front the TV, staring at the screen. 334 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,898 How's Trevor handling it? 335 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,800 Not very well. 336 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:45,670 He said he wanted to go out for a long walk 337 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,573 Wanna search through his feelings. 338 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,641 Possibly bowl a few games. 339 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,513 Isn't there something that we could do for Mrs. Ochmonek? 340 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,282 I'll go have a talk with her. 341 00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,085 Smart, spaceman. Real smart. 342 00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,154 I have to do something. 343 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,356 The woman's a turnip because of me. 344 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,825 I'm afraid that's true. 345 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,661 She, she thinks she's lost her mind. 346 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:12,797 But I do exist. 347 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,400 I shed, therefore I am. 348 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,903 What do you think we should do? 349 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,839 Well, I don't know, honey. Talk to her, be patient. 350 00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:24,409 Convince her that she didn't see an alien. 351 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,748 Well, let's face it. I'm unforgettable. 352 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:37,255 [instrumental music on TV] 353 00:17:59,012 --> 00:18:02,013 [ALF humming] 354 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,150 Okay. 355 00:18:06,152 --> 00:18:08,186 The ALF broadcasting company 356 00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:10,388 is on the air. 357 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,663 Greetings, earth woman. 358 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,401 Yo, Raquel, can you hear me? 359 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,902 What's going on? 360 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,404 Take it easy. 361 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,373 I'm the alien you saw the other day. 362 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,577 You remember me, Mr. Potato head? 363 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,150 Oh, no. He's everywhere. 364 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,886 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Spacemen don't exist. 365 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,087 Everyone knows that. 366 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,722 We do exist. 367 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,558 The reason I'm doing this is to show you that 368 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,394 you're still running on all three cylinders. 369 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:53,564 Oh. Oh, please don't do this to me. 370 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,334 I've just begun to resume a normal life. 371 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,802 You call that normal? 372 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,538 Sitting around in your bathrobe all day? 373 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:04,976 Where are you? 374 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:08,146 Uh, I'm out in space.. 375 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,815 ...deep, deep space. 376 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:14,218 Millions of light years from earth. 377 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,187 Oh! A meteor shower! 378 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,421 [imitating explosion] 379 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,260 (Raquel on speaker) 'What do you want from me?' 380 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:26,364 Raquel, I want you to regain your faith and imagination. 381 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:29,667 'Your, your girlish love of life.' 382 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,869 Oh, and I want you to take art lessons. 383 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,273 ALF, what are you doing? 384 00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:37,008 Uh, n-n-no. Do not adjust your set. 385 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:39,177 We are experience technical difficulties. 386 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,379 [beeping] 387 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,815 ALF, you're only gonna make things worse. 388 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:48,052 Au contraire. I'm trying to help matters. 389 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,954 Now, just give me a chance. 390 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,389 Who are you talking to? 391 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,723 Uh, my crew. 392 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:55,059 Get back in the hold, you lackeys. 393 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,862 Lackeys? 394 00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,064 Well, if she sees you, you'll ruin everything. 395 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,867 We're back. 396 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,736 Where did you go? 397 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,039 Uh, uh, Raquel, listen to me. 398 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,907 This is very important. 399 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:14,011 [instrumental music on recorder] 400 00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,748 There are many things in this universe 401 00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,651 you are not meant to understand. 402 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,454 Now, that doesn't mean they're not real. 403 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,022 I'm real. 404 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:28,059 And whether other people believe you or not 405 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,927 you know I'm real. 406 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,896 Thank you. 407 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:35,833 [music stops] 408 00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,670 Let me ask you something. 409 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:42,206 Why are you wearing all those utensils? 410 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,676 Oh, oh, that's one of the things 411 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,979 you're not supposed to understand. 412 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:49,380 Uh, here's another one. 413 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,882 You should set a couple of pumpkin pies 414 00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,885 out on your back porch once a week. 415 00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:57,555 And never question why they disappear. 416 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:01,926 Uh, twice a week! 417 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,527 Alright, I will. 418 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:04,829 Good girl! 419 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,098 Uh, also, I noticed you don't have a cat. 420 00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:09,634 Remedy that! 421 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:15,206 Uh, Yeah. Now, now, I must go. 422 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,642 So, uh, live long and prosper. 423 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:19,477 Uh, may the force be with you. 424 00:21:19,479 --> 00:21:22,113 Uh, phone home. Go ahead, make my day. 425 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:24,882 Oh. Oh, yeah, and don't forget about those pies. 426 00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:25,916 Bye! 427 00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:26,951 [beeps] 428 00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,320 [sighs] 429 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,188 Oh, thank you! 430 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,263 Thank you, whoever you are. 431 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,165 [chuckles] 432 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:43,834 Trevor. 433 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,239 - ALF. - I know. I know. 434 00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:50,241 I did it again. 435 00:21:50,243 --> 00:21:52,510 But I shouldn't have done it. 436 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:56,013 I, uh, I thought first and spoke later. 437 00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:59,784 No, actually I spoke first and thought later. 438 00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:02,253 Uh, what you did was.. 439 00:22:02,255 --> 00:22:05,623 ...you did a pretty nice thing for Raquel, that's what you did. 440 00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:09,193 Yeah, you did. We're proud of you. 441 00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:13,130 Yeah? I'm something, huh. 442 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,634 Hey, maybe, uh, maybe I should get a Nobel peace prize. 443 00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:19,403 Wouldn't that look nice on the mantel? 444 00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:21,005 Oh, I don't know. 445 00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:25,209 We might not have room for your Cuckoo of the Week award. 446 00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:27,078 You're right. Forget it. 447 00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:33,751 [instrumental music] 448 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:40,491 - Gin. - Oh. 449 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,726 - Yeah. - No. 450 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:42,760 What do you have? 451 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:45,162 I've, nine, nineteen, twenty.. 452 00:22:45,164 --> 00:22:46,897 ...thirty nine. 453 00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:51,102 Yeah, you owe me...$57,000. 454 00:22:53,206 --> 00:22:55,506 Will you settle for a kiss? 455 00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:56,741 No. 456 00:22:58,144 --> 00:22:59,477 [knock on door] 457 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,412 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanner.' 458 00:23:01,414 --> 00:23:03,881 Uh, yeah, come on. Come on in, Trevor. 459 00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:06,784 Did you see anybody take a 460 00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:09,153 couple of pumpkin pies from our back porch? 461 00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:11,589 Uh, no. 462 00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:15,226 Uh, w-uh, how's Raquel? 463 00:23:15,228 --> 00:23:16,794 Is she back to normal? 464 00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:19,830 She claims the spaceman called her on the TV 465 00:23:19,832 --> 00:23:22,500 and told her to take art lessons. 466 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:25,403 You call that normal? 467 00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,104 But at least she's happy. 468 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:29,440 - Well, that's good news. - Yeah. 469 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:31,041 Sorry about those pies. 470 00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:33,377 Nah, that's okay. We're going out to dinner, anyway. 471 00:23:33,379 --> 00:23:36,180 You want me to bring you back a corn dog? 472 00:23:36,182 --> 00:23:40,885 Corn...uh, no, thanks, uh, we-we'll see you later, Trevor. 473 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:41,919 Got ya. 474 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:45,222 ALF! 475 00:23:47,493 --> 00:23:49,760 Did somebody mention corn dogs? 476 00:23:54,333 --> 00:23:57,334 [instrumental music] 477 00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:28,132 [instrumental music]