1
00:00:01,769 --> 00:00:03,235
[humming]
2
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,174
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,876
Why not?
4
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,711
Because I might lose.
5
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,214
I'm sorry.
6
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,982
Check.
7
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,384
[telephone ringing]
8
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:21,286
Get that, Willie.
I wanna plan my next move.
9
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,389
[ringing continues]
10
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,966
Uh, hello.
11
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,901
The who-meister?
12
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,337
Oh. Yeah.
13
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:40,472
Sure, just a minute.
Hang on.
14
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:43,842
- It's for you.
- It must be Jody.
15
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,177
Hello.
16
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,346
Hey, Jod-meister.
17
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,982
What's happening?
18
00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:51,750
I saw that, Willie.
19
00:00:52,987 --> 00:00:55,554
Your building's going where?
20
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,257
Condo? Where's condo?
21
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,393
Oh! Oh!
22
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,762
Hey, it's no problem.
23
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:06,832
Yeah, you could stay here
till you find a new place.
24
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,669
Well, why would anybody mind?
25
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,238
No, we have a slogan here,
"Welcome."
26
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,607
It's on the mat outside.
27
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,211
Uh, Willie sends his love.
28
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,579
Okay, buh-bye.
29
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,382
Hang that up,
will you, Willie?
30
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,717
The mat outside says,
"Wipe your feet."
31
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:29,421
Jody's blind. She'll never know.
32
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,090
Don't you think you should
have checked with us
33
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,725
before you invited her to stay?
34
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:37,629
What for?
We banter back and forth.
35
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:41,567
You'd do that frustrated
head rubbing thing
36
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,235
and then you'd give in.
37
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:45,904
This way we're spared,
all of that.
38
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,539
[sighs]
39
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:58,917
Hey, Lynn, you wanna
take over for Willie?
40
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,552
Okay.
41
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,825
- Your move.
- Okay.
42
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,730
[laughing]
43
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,535
Checkmate.
44
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:25,043
[theme music]
45
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,737
[instrumental music]
46
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,007
It's not that
we don't want
47
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,342
Jody to stay.
48
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,877
It's just that
we have a rule
49
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,078
and that rule is--
50
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,381
No dating boys with vans.
51
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,584
I don't think that rule applies.
52
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,920
It is a good one, though.
53
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,223
Look, you shouldn't
have invited a guest
54
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:46,091
without asking us.
55
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,794
Would you rather
I dated a boy with a van?
56
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,997
Why can't Jody stay
for a few days?
57
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,865
She needs a place.
What could happen?
58
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,268
Well, for one thing she could
discover that--
59
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,436
We know, we know..
60
00:03:57,438 --> 00:03:59,037
(all)
ALF's an alien.
61
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:02,608
You know, I think it's time you
got that printed on T-shirts.
62
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:06,178
- ALF, she could find out.
- But she won't.
63
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:09,715
Look, I met her once
and she didn't find out then.
64
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:13,185
As long as she doesn't get too
touchy-feely, we're okay.
65
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,421
But she could find out.
66
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,725
Look, you spent two or three
hours with her, we're talking
67
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,060
about two or three days here.
68
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:26,298
Two or three days? I told her
she could stay a month.
69
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,799
Only a month.
70
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,969
Well, actually I told her
she could stay forever.
71
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,839
But I thought I'd break it to
you a month at a time.
72
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,776
ALF..
73
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,711
I think we should let Jody stay.
74
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,447
Yeah, we put up
with your mother staying here.
75
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,249
Well, that's true.
76
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,884
Willie.
77
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:48,387
Well, she does have that
nasal thing at night, Kate.
78
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,988
Yeah, the he-e-e!
79
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,423
[nasal]
He-e-e!
80
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,791
[nasal]
He-e-e!
81
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,093
Alright, alright.
We get the picture.
82
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,829
Doesn't Jody have any other
friends she could stay with?
83
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,998
Friends from this planet?
84
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,936
No, she's very shy.
Just like me.
85
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:07,072
You? Shy?
86
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,808
You should have seen
Melmacians who were outgoing.
87
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,544
It was a planet
of game show hosts.
88
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:17,516
Look, I'm sorry, ALF,
we'd like her to stay..
89
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,484
...but I'm afraid
it's just too risky.
90
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,621
Well, how would you feel
if you were blind and homeless
91
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,690
with no one to turn to?
92
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,459
I think ALF has a point.
93
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,361
You're darn right.
94
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,996
What is it?
95
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,765
That we can't turn our back
on someone who needs us.
96
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:39,538
Well...alright.
97
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,839
She can use the guest bedroom
98
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,642
until she finds
a place of her own.
99
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:47,846
Great! Great!
Thanks, Lynn. I owe you one.
100
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,147
One?
101
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,450
Well, one today.
102
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:54,619
[instrumental music]
103
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:01,893
Perfect.
104
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,463
[lamp crashes]
105
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,897
Almost perfect.
106
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,667
What was that crash?
107
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,802
A lamp fell off
the furniture.
108
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,705
That leads to my
next two questions.
109
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:17,008
A, what was the lamp doing
on a pile of furniture?
110
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,677
And B..
111
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,679
...why is the furniture
in a pile?
112
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,414
Well, aren't you forgetting C?
113
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,616
What are we having for lunch?
114
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,993
Who piled up
all the furniture?
115
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:39,197
ALF, why did you
pile up all the furniture?
116
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,767
I stacked it to get it
out of Jody's way.
117
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:43,902
She'll be safe as long as she
118
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,937
stays out
of the falling-lamp zone.
119
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,975
ALF, let's,
let's rethink this.
120
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,512
Jody lived
in an apartment.
121
00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,881
Jody had furniture.
122
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,784
Jody walked around
the furniture.
123
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:02,287
See Jody.
See Jody run.
124
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,122
Run, Jody, run.
125
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,859
See the furniture.
126
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,729
See the alien
move the furniture back.
127
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:14,099
Move, alien...move.
128
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,902
See the alien
throw out his back.
129
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,604
See the alien blame the Tanners.
130
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,973
Lawsuit, Tanners, lawsuit.
131
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,411
I think the Jodster's here.
132
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:29,080
Okay, everyone, stay calm.
133
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,582
We are calm.
134
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,118
Well, then,
show some enthusiasm.
135
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,653
[knocking on door]
136
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,558
Excuse me, I'm not sure
I have the right house.
137
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,759
I'm looking for--
138
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,894
Jod-meister!
139
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,930
[chuckles]
This is the place.
140
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,932
Uh, it's okay. Thanks.
141
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,768
Come on in, Jody.
I'm Willie.
142
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,437
Oh, the patriarch
of the Tanner clan.
143
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,772
Sounds good to me.
144
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,474
And-and this is my wife, Kate.
145
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:56,575
- Hello.
- Kate, hi.
146
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,510
And-and this is Lynn
and Brian.
147
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,811
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- You too.
148
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,113
- Hi.
- Jody, run around.
149
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,049
You won't bump into anything.
150
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,451
[chuckles]
Oh.
151
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,119
Well, I-I hope you didn't
go to the trouble
152
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,921
of rearranging the furniture.
153
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,757
It was no trouble.
It was fun.
154
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,760
It'll be even more fun
putting it back.
155
00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,896
Oh, well, then you could do it.
156
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,833
Thanks for letting me
stay here.
157
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,469
I hate to impose, but I-I
didn't know what else to do.
158
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:25,504
Well, you're not imposing.
159
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,606
No. We're glad you're here.
160
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:29,641
And stay as long as you like.
161
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,177
Yeah, ALF did.
162
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,547
Well, thanks, but I'm sure I'll
be out of your hair in few days.
163
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,883
That's what ALF said.
164
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,219
[instrumental music]
165
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,627
Five, four
166
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,495
three, two..
167
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,796
[imitating a buzzer]
168
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,565
Time's up.
What's your guess?
169
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,200
Uh, Swiss.
170
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,902
Close, but no cigar.
171
00:08:56,904 --> 00:09:01,172
It's Monterey Jack,
Swiss' country cousin.
172
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,509
Are you sure?
There are holes in this.
173
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,378
I used a hole puncher.
174
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,647
That's cheating.
175
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,383
All's fair in love
and guess-the-cheese.
176
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:13,818
[laughing]
177
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,288
Let's play guess-the-belch.
178
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,490
[belches]
179
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:19,724
ALF.
180
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,327
No, no.
You don't guess who belched.
181
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,396
You guess what they ate.
182
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,699
Oh, ALF..
183
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,368
...why are there
little cheese dots
184
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,203
in the living room?
185
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,272
Well, I've never
heard that term before
186
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,808
but I think
those are your children.
187
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:41,379
ALF, did you do this
to the hole puncher?
188
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:44,416
That explains
the little cheese dots.
189
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:48,353
And why was today's newspaper
thrown into the trash?
190
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,288
I don't know. Ask Kate.
191
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:52,691
I am Kate.
192
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:53,725
I know.
193
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,460
I was hoping I'd confuse you
194
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,329
and you'd forget the question.
195
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:04,069
ALF, I thought you said
the paper didn't come today.
196
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,038
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
197
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,541
when we don't want
our guests to leave.
198
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,413
Kate, Willie..
199
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,816
...I'm sorry.
200
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,584
Can someone please
read me the classifieds?
201
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:20,619
Sure.
202
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,920
Hey, you can't read those.
203
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:25,757
They're classified. Ha! Ha! Ha!
204
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:26,992
Oh, here's a good one.
205
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,960
"Two bedroom, two bath."
206
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,129
Give me that thing.
I'll find something.
207
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,002
- Whoa! This looks good.
- What is it?
208
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,838
Rib roast is a buck fifty nine
a pound.
209
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:42,841
I can't live in a rib roast.
210
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,977
Yeah, but would it be nice
if you could.
211
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,247
Well, let me look here.
212
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,116
Wait a minute, here's one, here.
213
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:55,620
"Cozy one-bedroom, furnished,
wall-to-wall carpeting, view--"
214
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:57,922
- Pass.
- Why?
215
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,525
It says, "One month's security."
216
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:03,328
After that you'd be in danger.
217
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,797
I think I'll give him
a call anyway.
218
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:06,865
What's the number?
219
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:10,502
It's, uh, 5-5-5-7-3-3-9.
220
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,171
Uh, 3-7-2-3-8-3-1.
221
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,541
- ALF.
- Sorry. 5-6-9-2.
222
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,980
If you keep acting like this
223
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:23,648
Jody will move out.
224
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:26,785
But Jody wants to move out.
225
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:29,054
Well, this is all news to me.
226
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:33,124
ALF, Jody is a grown woman.
She needs her independence.
227
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,060
Oh, that's easy
for you to say.
228
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:38,196
You know nothing
of the plight of blind people.
229
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,365
- And you do.
- Yes!
230
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,334
The other day,
I locked myself in the closet.
231
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:49,340
Being blind is very dusty
and smells like boots.
232
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:54,179
Jody survived for years without
us. She can do it again.
233
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:57,215
I think she wants
to do it again.
234
00:11:57,217 --> 00:12:00,985
Fine. Think what thou wilst.
235
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,921
Wilst?
236
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,989
Jody's my pal.
237
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,558
If she goes..
238
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,093
...I go.
239
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:11,362
[chuckles]
What are you saying?
240
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,032
I'm saying if she goes, I go.
241
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:16,901
Not a lot
of verbal clutter there.
242
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,771
Well, now you're just
being ri-diculous, ALF.
243
00:12:19,773 --> 00:12:22,674
Jody could never take care
of you the way we have.
244
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,243
Take care of me?
245
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,678
Are you implying that I'm
246
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:30,248
some sort
of house-bound dilettante?
247
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:34,219
No, no, no..
Well, yes.
248
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:38,356
For your information,
I'll be taking care of her.
249
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,025
Jody needs me
like a hole in the head.
250
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,963
Well, isn't that good
on your planet?
251
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,734
Well, the apartment's available.
252
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:53,238
What a coincidence! So am I!
253
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,207
Hey, Lucky,
I'll be gone for a while.
254
00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:01,012
Gee, I've never seen
a cat smile before.
255
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,716
[instrumental music]
256
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:05,984
[lips smacking]
257
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,354
[instrumental music]
258
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:17,262
Well, at least ALF took the
time to leave us a note.
259
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:22,600
[clears throat]
They say that breaking up is
hard to do.
260
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:27,272
"Now I know,
I know that it's true.
261
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,140
Don't say that this is the
end.."
262
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:34,646
¶ Instead of breaking up I wish
that we were making up again ¶¶
263
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,717
He didn't put as much effort
into this as I thought.
264
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,523
[instrumental music]
265
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,600
This book
doesn't have any words.
266
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,368
It's got zits!
267
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,772
Oh...must be one of those
268
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,707
connect-the-dot books.
269
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,415
Oh, great,
a picture of spaghetti.
270
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,718
Hi, groceries.
271
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:16,654
I mean, hi, Jody.
272
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,157
Hi, ALF. Whatcha doin'?
273
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:22,493
Oh, I'm playing with one of your
connect-the-dot books.
274
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:26,564
I drew the spaghetti.
You could draw the meatballs.
275
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:28,399
Or the red wine.
276
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,069
Uh..
277
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,505
ALF, this is a Braille book.
278
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,741
You see, these dots,
they represent letters.
279
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:39,244
You rub your fingers over them
and you can read the book.
280
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,713
Uh, well, wouldn't that
281
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,082
rub all the fur
off your fingers?
282
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,050
What?
283
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:49,587
Uh, well,
if you had furry fingers.
284
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,889
[Jody laughing]
285
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,858
You know, you say
some of the strangest things.
286
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,560
Oh, well, it's no big deal.
287
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,896
Uh, it doesn't mean
that I'm weird or anything.
288
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:02,433
Uh, I'm just a regular, average
being from your planet.
289
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,569
[laughing]
290
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,505
I know that.
291
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,775
But there is something I wanted
to talk to you about.
292
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,277
Well, shoot.
293
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,246
Well, um..
294
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:20,752
[chuckles]
You're a man and I'm a woman..
295
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,520
And..
296
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,223
Well, I hope you're not gonna
try anything funny. Are you?
297
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,192
Oh, you mean like putting
whipped cream in your shoes?
298
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:31,796
Well, I might.
299
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:36,301
[chuckles]
You know, ALF,
I really don't understand you.
300
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:40,772
You don't have a job.
You never leave the house.
301
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:44,809
Well...I guess I better
tell you the truth.
302
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,110
Oh, please.
303
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,478
I'm old.
304
00:15:48,882 --> 00:15:51,215
I'm real old.
305
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:54,052
Older than the Gabor sisters.
306
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:57,622
Well...maybe not Zsa Zsa.
307
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,491
Oh...well,
you're-you're very spry.
308
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,160
Well, that's 'cause
I've cut my fat intake
309
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,796
down to 90% of my diet.
310
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,265
[Jody laughing]
311
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,267
That reminds me,
I'd better go start dinner.
312
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,436
Oh, no, no, no.
I'll handle dinner.
313
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,571
I'm supposed
to take care of you.
314
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,246
Hello, Pizza Barge?
315
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:24,849
Yeah, send over
a large pepperoni.
316
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,919
- ALF, we're on a budget.
- Oh, right.
317
00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:30,855
Uh, charge it to the Tanners.
318
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,291
We've imposed
on the Tanners enough.
319
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,860
Again, you're right.
320
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,695
Charge it to Donald Trump.
321
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,199
Hello? Hello?
322
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:48,272
What? Vegetables again?
323
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,974
That's not food.
324
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:52,377
That's the stuff food eats.
325
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,513
It's what I eat.
326
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,515
What about real food?
327
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,685
Like the stuff
you hit with your car in Texas?
328
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,857
Well, I'd like you
to try my spinach lasagna.
329
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,393
And, uh, meanwhile,
you can make yourself useful
330
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,395
by setting the table.
331
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:14,532
Hey, no problem.
It's taken care of.
332
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,468
I'm here
to make your life easier.
333
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,704
[glass shatters]
334
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,206
Uh..
335
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,175
...first, I'll sweep up
that glass
336
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,544
that spontaneously exploded.
337
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:33,418
[instrumental music]
338
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:38,389
(Jody)
'ALF!'
339
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,259
'Why are there little hills
in the hallway?'
340
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,194
They're speed bumps
341
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,097
so you don't go too fast.
342
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,066
Well, I tripped over one.
343
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,001
You must have been speeding.
344
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,338
ALF, what are you doing?
345
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:57,208
I'm making this house safe
for the sightless.
346
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:59,410
Well, it was safe.
347
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,280
Now it's an obstacle course.
348
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,383
[chuckles]
You know,
we've really gotta
349
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,385
find a way
to keep you occupied.
350
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,220
Well, I found one.
351
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,723
I'm putting curb feelers
on your shoes.
352
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,525
ALF, I have never
scraped my ankles
353
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:15,927
against a curb.
354
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,396
Pure luck.
355
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:20,565
ALF, when you, uh,
first moved in here
356
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,066
you said you were
only going to stay
357
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:26,270
until I was settled.
I really think I'm settled.
358
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,406
No, no, no.
359
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,741
I'll tell you
when you're settled.
360
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,945
Oh.
Of course, you would know best.
361
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:40,218
Uh, listen, ALF, um..
362
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,652
...I left my keys
in the bedroom.
363
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,488
Could you go get them
for me, please?
364
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,991
Hey, no problem,
my little Venetian blind.
365
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:54,932
[thud]
366
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,135
(ALF)
'Ow, you stupid speed bump!'
367
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,970
'You're for her, not me!'
368
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,875
Hello, Willie.
Oh, it's Jody.
369
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,011
Yes.
370
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,281
Yes!
371
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:12,483
Yes. That's the problem exactly.
372
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,652
[instrumental music]
373
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,120
B.
374
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,822
E.
375
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,290
E.
376
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,758
T.
377
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:23,027
Hah hah!
378
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:25,096
This Braille stuff is easy.
379
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,033
ALF, I'm going down
to the laundry room.
380
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,702
Okay. Just follow the rope.
381
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,141
[clanking]
382
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,477
Ow! Ow! Kate, Willie!
383
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,712
I hurt my finger!
384
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,082
What am I doing?
They're not here.
385
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,386
I'll have to kiss it myself.
386
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,021
[lips smack]
387
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,357
It's not the same.
388
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,026
[doorbell rings]
389
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,327
Who is it?
390
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,162
(Kate)
'It's us, ALF!'
391
00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,497
Kate!
392
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,832
And here I just
kissed my own finger.
393
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,134
Come on in.
394
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,103
Hi, ALF.
395
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:08,573
Hey, guys.
396
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:11,008
What brings you
to this independent, carefree
397
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,710
neck of the woods?
398
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,179
Oh, we-we just,
we thought we'd drop by
399
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,582
and see how
things were going.
400
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:20,418
Well, come on in.
Get the full picture.
401
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,853
It looks great.
402
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:25,223
And...very..
403
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,425
...self-explanatory.
404
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:31,195
So what have you
been doing with yourself?
405
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,264
Labeling vegetables.
406
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:36,334
Boy, I'd hate to be the guy
who had to pound out
407
00:20:36,336 --> 00:20:38,636
"War And Peace" in Braille.
408
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:41,372
ALF?
409
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,374
Jody called us.
410
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,409
Well, why would she do that?
411
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,846
Jody wants to live
her own life, ALF.
412
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:52,416
She thinks it's time
for you to come home.
413
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,585
Well, that doesn't
sound like Jody.
414
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,021
Maybe it was
another blind person
415
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,990
who got a wrong number.
416
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,226
Uh, I don't think so, ALF.
417
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,262
Oh.
418
00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:08,132
Well...if that's the way
Jody wants it.
419
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,102
I'm back, ALF.
420
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:13,137
Hey, Jody,
don't take off your clothes.
421
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,472
We have company.
422
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,440
- ALF!
- Hi, Jody, it's us.
423
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:17,541
- Hi, Jody.
- Oh, hi.
424
00:21:17,543 --> 00:21:18,909
It's-it's-it's the Tanners.
425
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:19,910
[laughing]
426
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,579
Hey, enough of the yakety-yak.
427
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,382
Kate and Willie,
can you give us a minute alone?
428
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:26,417
Oh, sure, uh..
429
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,419
Where would you
like us to yakety-yak?
430
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,655
- Um...in the bedroom.
- Okay.
431
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,590
Just follow the signs.
432
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,125
And make yourself useful.
433
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,994
Label Jody's socks.
434
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:38,996
(Willie)
'Oh, careful, honey,
speed bump.'
435
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,799
Jodster..
436
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,934
...I've been thinking.
437
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:46,937
It's time for me
to go back to the Tanners.
438
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:47,972
Really?
439
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,840
Well, you knew
from the beginning
440
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,910
that this was only
a temporary arrangement.
441
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,912
I told you
as soon as you were settled
442
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:56,781
I'd have to go.
443
00:21:56,783 --> 00:21:59,784
Well, I'm settled.
444
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:02,987
- Well, I guess I'm going.
- ALF.
445
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,157
Before you go..
446
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:08,793
...I wanna thank you.
447
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:10,127
I don't know
how I could have gotten
448
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:12,863
through these past few weeks
without you.
449
00:22:12,865 --> 00:22:16,200
- Oh, hey. It was nothing.
- Nothing?
450
00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:18,202
Not everybody can label an egg.
451
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:20,171
Well, it's easier
452
00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:22,206
when you hard-boil them.
453
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:24,308
Took me a couple of dozen
to figure that out.
454
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:26,444
[Jody laughing]
455
00:22:26,446 --> 00:22:28,612
Oh, um, before you go..
456
00:22:30,450 --> 00:22:32,717
...I want you to have this.
457
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,718
Wow!
458
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,886
My very own Braille book!
459
00:22:38,191 --> 00:22:40,991
And you drew in
the meatballs for me.
460
00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:42,226
[laughing]
461
00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:44,995
Well, I wanna go show this
to Kate and Willie.
462
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:46,731
Kate! Willie!
463
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,172
Pizza?
464
00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:56,741
(ALF)
'Where? Where?'
465
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,509
[thud]
Oh!
466
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,711
These speed bumps work great.
467
00:23:00,713 --> 00:23:03,681
Kate! Willie! I hurt my knee!
468
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,349
Can you kiss it?
469
00:23:05,351 --> 00:23:07,585
[instrumental music]
470
00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:10,921
[instrumental music]
471
00:23:13,593 --> 00:23:15,359
Lucky..
472
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:16,861
...I'm going to show you
473
00:23:16,863 --> 00:23:18,662
what it's like to be plunged
474
00:23:18,664 --> 00:23:20,931
into a world of darkness.
475
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:25,736
- ALF!
- Oh, Kate, just in time!
476
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,339
The cat almost got my tongue.
477
00:23:28,341 --> 00:23:30,207
Give me this cat!
478
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,143
Bad, Lucky! Bad!
479
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,247
Now I know
how Wile E. Coyote feels.
480
00:23:42,789 --> 00:23:44,255
¶ Georgia ¶
481
00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:46,824
¶ Georgia ¶
482
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:51,429
¶ No peace I find ¶
483
00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:53,631
¶ Just an old sweet song ¶
484
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:58,302
¶ Keeps Georgia on my mind ¶¶
485
00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:00,304
Yeah.
486
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:03,641
[theme music]
487
00:24:27,266 --> 00:24:28,666
[music continues]
488
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:32,837
[ALF laughing]