1
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:06,005
This is pretty
hefty punishment

2
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,207
for breaking one measly chimney.

3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,677
Hey, ALF. Watch this.

4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,215
Interesting.

5
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,983
(Brian)
'It's a dog.'

6
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:21,253
I could see that,
but it wrecked your stick trick.

7
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,989
What was supposed to happen?

8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,091
That was it.
That's how you play fetch.

9
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,862
Fascinating game.

10
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,797
Right up there
with watching golf.

11
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,633
You wanna throw one?

12
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,368
Alright. What harm could it do?

13
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,410
[glass shattering]

14
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,145
[gasps]

15
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,051
- Hi.
- Hi.

16
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,822
Uh, what are the chances
that the crash I just heard

17
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,758
was the Ochmoneks
breaking their own window?

18
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,561
Slim and none.
And slim is out of town.

19
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,398
Where did this dog come from?

20
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,401
She followed me home
from school.

21
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,270
(Trevor)
'Hey, Tanner!'

22
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:16,341
ALF, you-you better hide whilst
I, once again, take the blame

23
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,910
for something you did.

24
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,345
Thanks, Willie.
You're a prince.

25
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,415
I'm a king.

26
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,086
Good afternoon, guys.

27
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,787
Uh, does this look
familiar to anyone?

28
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,390
Oh, gee, I'm-I'm sorry, Trevor.

29
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,225
B-Brian and I were..

30
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,928
...uh, we were just,
sort of...play..

31
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,796
- It's twenty dollars, right?
- Eighty.

32
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,767
Eighty dollars?

33
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,803
Yeah, I'm putting
in Plexiglas this time.

34
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,139
It'll be cheaper for you
in the long run.

35
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,209
- Good planning.
- Thanks.

36
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,211
- 'Well, I'll see ya.'
- 'So long, Trevor.'

37
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:58,217
- Uh, she sure is a pretty dog.
- Can we keep her?

38
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,619
Yeah, Willie. Can we, huh?

39
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,455
No. I-I-I don't know.

40
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,658
I-I'm sure she's got
an owner somewhere.

41
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,162
Can't we just keep her
until we find the owner?

42
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:13,799
Well, I-I guess so, as long, as
long as it's okay with your mom.

43
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,435
Oh, goody, goody,
goody, goody, goody!

44
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,470
I didn't know you liked dogs.

45
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,405
What's not to like?

46
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:24,176
They are loyal, obedient.
They hate cats.

47
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,312
[growling]

48
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,015
And those who eat them.

49
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,585
Down, boy. Down.

50
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,490
[theme music]

51
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,402
[no audio]

52
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,909
[no audio]

53
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,549
[no audio]

54
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,523
[no audio]

55
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,402
[no audio]

56
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,005
Hi, there.

57
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,341
Gordon Shumway.
Nice to meet you.

58
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,743
Interested in a new Buick?

59
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,978
Nice try.

60
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,383
Wait a minute.
One of these steaks is missing.

61
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,585
- ALF!
- No, no. I didn't. Honest.

62
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,221
I looked,
but I didn't touch.

63
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,790
Well, you did so touch!

64
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,194
Alright, I touched,
but I didn't eat.

65
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,962
And I'm supposed to believe
one of these steaks

66
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,431
just got up
and walked away on it's own?

67
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,501
I've seen stranger.

68
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,405
That's it, ALF.
No dinner for you tonight.

69
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:37,309
But I'm starved!
I've been fasting since lunch.

70
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,513
Well, I did eat that pumpkin.

71
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,817
Anyone lose a steak?

72
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,919
[coughing]

73
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,056
O-o-okay, ALF.
I'm sorry I accused you.

74
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,393
Apology accepted.

75
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:58,030
I'd hate to be in your paws,
you cattle rustler!

76
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,134
Bad dog!

77
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,904
Oh, I didn't mean it.

78
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,673
No, she didn't mean it.

79
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,740
- Oh.
- Here.

80
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,509
You're a good dog, aren't you?

81
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,777
Yes, you are.

82
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,413
Come on, pup. Come on.

83
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,682
[imitating Lynn]
You're a good dog. Yes, you are.

84
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,686
This is an outrage!

85
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,922
That dog should be flogged on
the quarterdeck.

86
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,425
Whatever that means.

87
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:29,528
Oh, ALF, she's just a dog.
She doesn't know any better.

88
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,331
Ignorance is no excuse.

89
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,200
Ignorance is your excuse
all the time.

90
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,738
I don't know
what you're talking about.

91
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,443
Okay, watch this.

92
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,911
Speak.

93
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,748
[laughing]

94
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:54,786
Okay. Okay. Sit.

95
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,321
Oh.

96
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,856
That is so cute!

97
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,525
Talk about stupid pet tricks.

98
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,861
Letterman would have
a field day with this one.

99
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:09,501
Well, I put up a bunch
of those dumb posters.

100
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,204
I still hope nobody
claims Alfina.

101
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,039
- Alfina?
- Oh!

102
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,608
Don't you just<i> hate</i> that name?

103
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,311
What a good girl!

104
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,848
Canine kiss up.

105
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,384
I still think
we should offer a reward

106
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,253
to anyone who claims that dog.

107
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,223
You don't offer a reward
when you find a dog.

108
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,892
You offer a reward
when you lose a dog.

109
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,195
Okay, I'll give you
five bucks to lose Alfina.

110
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,064
- ALF!
- Kidding!

111
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,732
I'm a funny alien.

112
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,201
[sarcastic laugh]

113
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,603
[doorbell dings]

114
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,506
I know the routine.

115
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,508
Exit stage right.

116
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,752
- Where is he?
- Where's who?

117
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,788
My dog. That's who.

118
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,723
You found him, didn't you?

119
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,024
Well, yes, we did.

120
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,693
I mean, that is to say
we found a dog.

121
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,797
He's mine. Where is he?

122
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,535
It's not a he.
She's a she.

123
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:19,404
I knew that.
Is that her?

124
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:23,074
- Don't you recognize her?
- Of course, I do.

125
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,476
Come here, dog!

126
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,677
[growling]

127
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,483
She doesn't seem
to be responding to you.

128
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,119
We had a fight!
She'll get over it.

129
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,056
Uh, do you suppose

130
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,393
and, uh, mind you,
this is just a thought..

131
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:45,263
...that you might be mistaken
about this being your dog?

132
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,399
I lost a dog.
You found a dog.

133
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,168
Can we do business or not?

134
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,804
I think not.

135
00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,011
Here's my address
and telephone number

136
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,646
in case you change your mind.

137
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,914
Okay.

138
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,352
Have a nice day!

139
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,126
I'm glad
you're not her dog.

140
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,428
Yeah. Me too.

141
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,331
Could I take Alfina for a walk?

142
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,532
Sure, honey.

143
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,367
Watchout for that dragon lady.

144
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,803
Come on, Alfina.

145
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,939
Isn't that a picture.
A boy and his dog.

146
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,610
And the alien he left behind.

147
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,845
[dramatic music]

148
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,782
[ALF whining]

149
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,388
[whining]

150
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,393
[whining]

151
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,998
ALF..

152
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,599
...why did you do that?

153
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,837
Well, I could have
licked your hand

154
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,139
but I didn't think
either of us would enjoy that.

155
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,210
Well, you're right. I much
prefer a blow to the head.

156
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,646
As you wish, master.

157
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:12,484
Thank you.
Thank you.

158
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,886
Thank you.

159
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,022
I'll read that when I get up..

160
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,156
...in three hours.

161
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,760
What are you two doing?

162
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,428
ALF thinks he's a dog.

163
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,231
Apparently,
dogs can't tell time.

164
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:30,035
Actually, we can,
but we have so few appointments

165
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,770
why bother?

166
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,341
ALF, you're not a dog.

167
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,910
Well, I wish I were a dog.

168
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:43,214
Dogs get treated better
than aliens around here.

169
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:49,020
That's because dogs behave
better than aliens around here.

170
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,290
I'll change.
You'll see.

171
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:56,761
I'll-I'll heal. I'll fetch.
I'll play dead.

172
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,197
Could we discuss this
in the morning?

173
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,566
But I am great at playing dead.

174
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:05,737
I was Camille
in my high school play.

175
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,873
I feel weak.

176
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:13,011
[coughs]

177
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,860
Is nothing sacred?
Out of my bed!

178
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:34,466
You come in here, stick your
big snout into everything.

179
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,068
Take over the house,
eat all the food.

180
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,537
That's my job.

181
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,342
How would you feel
about relocating?

182
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,078
[growls]

183
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,047
I'll take that as a yes.

184
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,759
- Tomatoes?
- Uh, over here.

185
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,495
Thank you. Oregano?

186
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,430
- Where you left it.
- Thank you.

187
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,266
- Oh. Whipped cream?
- Coming at you.

188
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,602
[yawns]

189
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:11,936
Morning!

190
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,639
- Oh, morning, ALF.
- I smell food.

191
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,041
And lots of it.

192
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,509
What's cooking?

193
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,779
Oh, your all-time favorite
Sunday breakfast.

194
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,414
Cats Benedict?

195
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:27,385
No. French toast, Jell-O
and spaghetti.

196
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,689
[sniffs]

197
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:34,459
Ah, Christmas came early
this year.

198
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:38,029
Well, actually, we-we felt like
we kinda owed you an apology.

199
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,699
Well, I agree. What for?

200
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,300
Well, for neglecting you

201
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,370
and spending
all our time with Alfina.

202
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,706
Speaking of Alfina,
where is she?

203
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,074
Yeah, you know,
she always comes

204
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,542
running when
there's food cooking.

205
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,410
Yeah. ALF, you haven't
seen her, have you?

206
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,548
Check, please.

207
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,752
What have you done?

208
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,789
Oh, sure. Just assume
that I gave Alfina away.

209
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,727
You gave away Alfina?

210
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,829
[doorbell dings]

211
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,464
Saved by the bell.

212
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,834
You stay right
where you are, mister.

213
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,407
This doesn't have the feel
of your typical happy ending.

214
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,212
Hi, can I help you?

215
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:28,913
I came to get my dog.

216
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,684
Oh, okay, come on in.

217
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,921
This is her.
This is my dog, Francesca.

218
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,958
Can I have her back, please?

219
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,060
- Sure.
- Oh, uh, no, wait.

220
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,962
Um, before we give her to you

221
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,131
we have to make sure
she is your dog.

222
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,133
Oh, she's my dog, alright.

223
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:52,303
She's brown and white and
shaggy, and she does tricks.

224
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,573
- What kind of tricks?
- The wrong tricks.

225
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,575
Like, when I tell her
to sit up and beg

226
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,177
she rolls over and plays dead.

227
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,546
That's her, alright.

228
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,185
My dad taught her that.
He has a weird sense of humor.

229
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,089
I can't find Alfina anywhere.

230
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,791
Who's Alfina?

231
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,927
Oh, we have a little problem.

232
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,263
- Uh..
- Hannah.

233
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,165
Hannah.

234
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,833
I'm Mr. Tanner.

235
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,302
- This is my wife, Mrs. Tanner.
- Hello.

236
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,505
And these are the Tanner
siblings, Brian, Lynn.

237
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,973
Hi.

238
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,510
Um, Hannah is here
to pick up her dog.

239
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,245
Uh-oh.

240
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,748
Where is she?

241
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,451
Actually, we don't know
where she is

242
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,120
just at the moment.

243
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,657
Oh, no. I have to sit down.

244
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,192
Oh, please.

245
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:53,031
You know, we did find your dog.
I mean, Brian found your dog.

246
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:57,535
It's just that she seems
to have...wandered off.

247
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,171
We just moved to
this neighborhood

248
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,974
And Francesca is the only friend
I have here.

249
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,643
Oh, Hannah. No, don't cry.

250
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,980
We'll help you find your dog.

251
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,815
And if we can't..

252
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,117
...I can think
of a suitable replacement.

253
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,990
ALF.

254
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,391
Hold on, Willie.

255
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,393
I'm trying to find
the right quotation

256
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,829
to express my regret.

257
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,065
This one seems apropos.

258
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,000
"To err is human."

259
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:32,837
You got rid of that dog,
didn't you?

260
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,573
You're right.
The buck stops here.

261
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,610
"Admiral John Poindexter, 1987."

262
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,516
Where is the dog, ALF?

263
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,719
I thought Brian
was getting too attached

264
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,420
to the little mutt.

265
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,423
That's not for you to decide.
I'm in charge here.

266
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,394
Oh, uh,
"General Alexander Haig, 1981."

267
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:02,333
ALF, what have you done
with the dog?

268
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,535
Hey, hey, don't worry.

269
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,772
I called that nice lady
who said she was the owner.

270
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,941
She picked Alfina up last night.

271
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,176
Oh, ALF.

272
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,545
It was obvious to anyone

273
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,883
that woman never laid eyes
on Alfina in her life!

274
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,186
Well, she sure had me fooled!

275
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:24,255
"Gary Hart, 1987."

276
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,926
[instrumental music]

277
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,264
[knock on door]

278
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,299
[growls]

279
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,134
Shut up, you mutt.

280
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,369
[knocking continues]

281
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,538
I'm coming! I'm coming.

282
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,973
Keep your pants on.

283
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,246
Oh, it's you.

284
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,548
Oh, I-I-I'm sorry,
Mrs. Buttonwood

285
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,450
I-I hope I'm not disturbing you.

286
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:56,454
But it didn't bother you when
you phoned at 4:00 this morning

287
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,724
Oh, that-that I-I-I am sorry.

288
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,460
Forget it. It gave me a chance
to shave my legs.

289
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,497
Step inside, Tanner.

290
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,132
You're letting
all the flies out.

291
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,235
(Willie)
'Hey-hey, hey.'

292
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,805
Alfina.

293
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,841
Hey, how you doing, girl?

294
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,577
You know, Mrs. Buttonwood,
I-I-I'd really

295
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,646
I'd really like
to have her back.

296
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,681
I'd like
to be Christie Brinkley.

297
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,017
You learn to live with it.

298
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:29,354
But the dog's real owner
came by today

299
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,324
and she, she would love
to have her back.

300
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,326
She can have her back.

301
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,495
- Great.
- For 500 bucks.

302
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,834
- Five hundred?
- Bucks!

303
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,535
You have a hearing problem?

304
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:51,876
But the dog's real owner
is-is a little girl.

305
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:55,480
And-and she misses her so much.

306
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,449
You know, she was crying
in my living room.

307
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,886
Aw. Breaks your heart,
doesn't it?

308
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,690
Five hundred bucks!

309
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,159
- Will you take a check?
- Cash!

310
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,560
Cash.

311
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,862
You can't be too careful.

312
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,864
There's a lot
of slime out there.

313
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,932
I hear you.

314
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,238
You know,
I don't have $500 cash on me.

315
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,572
[knocking on door]

316
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,341
(male #1)
'Ethel! Open up!'

317
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,877
My ex-boyfriend, that is,
if he ain't short of a dollar

318
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,578
and jealous to the bone.

319
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,850
Just a minute, honey.

320
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,153
I'm not dressed yet.

321
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:38,389
(male #1)
'Ethel! You got a man in there?'

322
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,691
Maybe there is!

323
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:44,762
You better get out of here while
your face is still in the front.

324
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,897
But I..

325
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,865
I haven't done anything.

326
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,867
I'll give you a rain check.

327
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,536
[knocking continues]

328
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,938
Climb out that window.

329
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,773
Oh, that's silly!

330
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,242
[pounding on door]

331
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,779
- Is there a backdoor?
- It's all boarded up.

332
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,782
Vince threw the mailman
through it last week.

333
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,317
[knocking on door]

334
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,923
Oh, suddenly, that looks
like quite a drop!

335
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,459
- Don't be a wuss.
- Stop!

336
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,860
[thud]

337
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,662
[instrumental music]

338
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,036
Why did you give Alfina
to that mean lady, ALF?

339
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:28,072
Look, B, like we said on Melmac

340
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:31,109
"If you love something
set it free.

341
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,711
"If it comes back
to you it is yours.

342
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:38,216
If it gets run over by a car
you don't want it."

343
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,451
Thanks a lot, ALF.

344
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,053
Sorry.

345
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,889
Hey, hey, let's go
shoot some hoops.

346
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,624
I'll get the peashooter

347
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,793
you see if the hoops
are in their backyard.

348
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,630
I'm not playing with you
anymore, ever!

349
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,199
[door opens]

350
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,103
Dad, where's Alfina?

351
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,139
I'm, I'm sorry, Brian.

352
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,242
I couldn't get her back.

353
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,010
Why not?

354
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,747
Well, apparently, Ms. Buttonwood
only wanted the dog

355
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,885
so she could get $500
from the real owner.

356
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,722
It's all your fault, ALF!

357
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,761
He's right.
I got us into this.

358
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,129
I'll get us out.

359
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,498
Willie, can I borrow $500?

360
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,901
I'll give it back
to you next payday.

361
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,504
You don't have a job, ALF.

362
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,507
I meant your next payday.

363
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,511
You'll stay out of this.

364
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,580
You're in enough hot water!

365
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,018
So what's a little more?

366
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,091
Hey, mutt, move it or lose it.

367
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,965
[telephone ringing]

368
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,803
Never fails.

369
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:09,240
Sit down to a nice home-cooked
meal and the phone rings.

370
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,378
I'm coming! I'm coming!

371
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,381
[ringing continues]

372
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,522
[whispers]
Psst! Psst! Alfina.

373
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:27,892
Alfina. It's me, ALF.

374
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,894
I've come to rescue you.

375
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,596
(Ethel)
'Hey, dog.'

376
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:34,165
'You touch that TV dinner,
you're cheese spread.'

377
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:39,904
Uh, we could throw water on her
and watch her melt

378
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,672
but we're short on time.

379
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,609
[knocking on door]

380
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,077
Oh, great.

381
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,548
I need a doorman.

382
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,916
[knocking continues]

383
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,818
Hold your horses!

384
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,455
Hello, sweetheart.

385
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,789
Vince, I told you
never to show

386
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,125
your jealous puss
around here again.

387
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,361
Well, that's what
I've come to tell you.

388
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,965
I'm not jealous anymore,
twinkle toes.

389
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:11,969
I'm in group therapy
with a bunch of Italian guys.

390
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,939
You did all that just for me,
stud-muffin?

391
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,708
Stud-muffin?

392
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:21,746
But you only call me
that when you wanna.. Oh-oh!

393
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,015
Shut up,
and go get the mood music.

394
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,853
(Vince)
'The-the "LP" or the "45?"'

395
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,422
"The LP."

396
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:32,723
Alright!

397
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,458
[laughing]

398
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,831
[dramatic music]

399
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,104
Come on, pooch.

400
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,173
We don't wanna stick around
for this.

401
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,844
[Ethel laughing]

402
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:54,979
[Vince laughing]

403
00:21:57,150 --> 00:22:00,851
No. Some things are best left
to the imagination.

404
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,021
Ewweee!

405
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,030
[instrumental music]

406
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:19,437
One last time.
Okay, Francesca, speak.

407
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:23,708
[all cheering]

408
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:28,045
The dog is phenomenal.

409
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:30,381
I should tell my parents
I found her.

410
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:32,583
Wave buh-bye,
Francesca.

411
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,290
Phenomenal.

412
00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:40,558
Goodbye, Hanna.

413
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,460
Goodbye, Francesca.

414
00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,628
Hey, you can come play with us
if you want to.

415
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,697
- Can I?
- Oh, sure, honey. Have fun.

416
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:51,469
Let's go.

417
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:55,373
Oh, they look kinda
look cute together, don't they?

418
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,810
I can't help it, I'm a mother.

419
00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,314
She should wear flats.

420
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,519
You know, I am kinda
proud of Brian though.

421
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:11,989
The way he was able to give up
that dog without any fuss.

422
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,023
Yeah.

423
00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:15,493
What about yours truly?

424
00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,328
What about him?

425
00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:20,731
Valiantly risking my life
behind enemy lines

426
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:25,936
to reunite a girl and her dog
where others had failed before?

427
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,905
Notably you, Wilheim.

428
00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:32,276
We get the point, ALFheim.

429
00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:33,711
Yes, yes.

430
00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:35,546
This time..

431
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:38,182
...you did manage
to do the right thing.

432
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,986
[whimpers]

433
00:23:43,356 --> 00:23:44,989
[theme music]

434
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,049
[ALF screaming]