1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:02,501 (ALF) Four, five.. 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:07,373 If line 65 is larger than line 34, deduct from line-- 3 00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:08,841 - What are you doing? - Huh? 4 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,378 I'm doing Willie's taxes and eating his dinner. 5 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:15,881 Oh...leave that alone. 6 00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,684 Uff, what do you know about taxes? 7 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:23,389 I'm an expert on travel, entertainment and depreciation. 8 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,391 You mean destruction. 9 00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:28,627 No, destruction goes under entertainment. 10 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,398 Hi, everybody. 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,565 - Hi, dad. - Hi. 12 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,901 Willie, how did your meeting go? 13 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:39,571 And more importantly, what are your projected capital gains 14 00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:42,808 for the fourth quarter, if any? 15 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:46,345 Strangely enough, ALF, I will be enjoying 16 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,813 a modest increase in income 17 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:51,050 because I've just been promoted to district supervisor. 18 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,351 - Oh! - 'That's great.' 19 00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,753 Congratulations. You got it. 20 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,423 So you're gonna be supervisor for all of Los Angeles? 21 00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:03,362 Well, not exactly all of Los Angeles. 22 00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:06,665 - Fullerton? - No. 23 00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,601 - Anaheim? - No. 24 00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:11,603 Well, are you gonna tell us where it is 25 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,406 or should we get a map and throw darts? 26 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:20,679 Actually, I'm supervisor for all of San Diego. 27 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,417 So you mean we're gonna have to move? 28 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,352 Well, it kinda looks like it. 29 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:31,523 We can't move. I've put down roots here. 30 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,759 You know, this year is my last year of high school. 31 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,263 You don't wanna move either, do you, ALF? 32 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:39,798 I'm ambivalent. 33 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,035 On one hand I could use the change of scenery. 34 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:47,606 On the other hand I'm terrified of Shamu. 35 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,942 Hey, Lynn, we're not gonna move 36 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,478 until after the end of the school year. 37 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,713 In the meantime, I'll commute. 38 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:57,916 You are gonna taking me when you move, right? 39 00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:01,553 Well, we might if you stop eating Willie's dinner. 40 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:06,458 Oh, immediate gratification 41 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,727 versus long term security. 42 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,664 I'm thinking, I'm thinking. 43 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,834 [theme music] 44 00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:40,692 [music continues] 45 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,696 [instrumental music] 46 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,168 [yawns] 47 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,570 Morning, Bri. 48 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,572 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 49 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,409 I know it's early but I'm sure 50 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,978 your dad will appreciate you seeing him off. 51 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,380 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 52 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,583 You know when you were a baby you used to wake us up 53 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,184 at 6:00 a.m. 54 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,753 Boy, you really carry a grudge. 55 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,058 - Good morning. - Hi, honey. 56 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:48,360 I thought you were gonna do the 30 minute workout. 57 00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,495 I was, but I turned off the TV 58 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,931 when I heard that perky little voice yell 59 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,667 "Come on, gang, let's jazzercise." 60 00:03:56,904 --> 00:04:00,272 ¶ San Diego here I come ¶ 61 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:04,109 ¶ Melmac's where I started from ¶¶ 62 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,411 I told you, ALF, we're not moving yet. 63 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,779 But.. 64 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:12,918 ¶ All my bags are packed I'm ready to go ¶¶ 65 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,421 - Would you like some breakfast? - What do you think? 66 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,223 I'll be having the bacon and eggs 67 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:21,460 and sausage and ham, and liver and onions 68 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,528 and chicken pot pie. 69 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:27,232 - We're having oatmeal. - Even better. 70 00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:30,135 My cholesterol must be in the millions. 71 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,970 - Good morning, dad. - Hi, honey. 72 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:35,741 Hey, you guys didn't have to all get up for me this morning. 73 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:37,776 That's not what mom said. 74 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,378 [Willie chuckles] 75 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:43,949 Hey, boss man, ready for your first day as head honcho? 76 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:47,486 The big cheese. Mr. Dithers. 77 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,921 Big cheese will be fine. 78 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:54,559 Speaking of cheese, Kate, throw a slab on my oatmeal. 79 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:55,961 Honey, would you like some breakfast? 80 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,297 Uh, no, I'll-I'll just have this cinnamon roll. 81 00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,032 Sorry, we're out. 82 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,641 - We got a present for you, dad. - For me? 83 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,845 Oh! How thoughtful, you guys. 84 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:18,183 Oh, look at this. Classic books on tape. 85 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,620 "'Crime and Punishment,' 'Madame Bovary' 86 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,855 'Twisted Sister.'" 87 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:27,025 Well, if you don't like that one, I'll take it. 88 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,593 [knock on door] 89 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:31,697 - 'Hey, Tanners.' - ALF, it's Trevor. 90 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:33,999 When does this man sleep? 91 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:40,939 Trevor! 92 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,643 - Hi. - Hi, Kate. 93 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,545 What are you doing up so early? 94 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,880 I never miss 30 minute workout. 95 00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,717 - You work out? - I watch. 96 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,619 I like that one instructor on the left, Muffy 97 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,855 the low-impact one. 98 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,791 Hey, who's the extra oatmeal for? 99 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,362 - Uh.. - You. 100 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:06,798 Yeah, Trevor, we were hoping you'd come over. 101 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,900 Great. I should drop by more often. 102 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:13,372 Why...did...you drop by? 103 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,241 Oh, yeah, I wanted to wish you 104 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,743 good luck on the new job. 105 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,544 And to see why you haven't left yet. 106 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,713 That drive down to San Diego is a killer. 107 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,684 Why is there cheese in this? 108 00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,652 We like it that way. 109 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,955 Then let's trade. 110 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:34,926 You're right about that drive. 111 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,028 I-I better get going. 112 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,765 - Bye, dad. - Don't forget your tapes. 113 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,266 Okay, now, drive carefully, sweetheart. 114 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,702 - We'll see you tonight. - Yeah. Goodbye. 115 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,170 Goodbye, everyone. 116 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:49,908 And, uh, say goodbye to...anyone else who might miss me. 117 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:53,278 - We will. - uh, good luck, Tanner. 118 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,946 Um.. Oh. 119 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,030 [instrumental music] 120 00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,403 [sighs] 121 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:22,574 I don't believe you are eating crackers in bed. 122 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:26,244 I know. It's such a cliche. 123 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:29,848 Could you be a dear and hoover the crumbs out of my fur? 124 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,387 I want every single crumb out of this bed. 125 00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,222 Including you. 126 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,490 Kate, Kate. 127 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,492 I know you're upset about Willie 128 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,327 but he'll be home soon 129 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:45,397 and I won't leave this bed till he is. 130 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,000 - Hi. - Rats. 131 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:53,238 Just what I wanted to see in my bed. 132 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:56,408 Thanks. Cracker? 133 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,347 Honey, it's 11 o'clock at night. What happened? 134 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,849 I'm sorry, Kate. 135 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:07,185 I-I-I got in a big tie-up on the.. 136 00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,587 ...on the... 137 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:11,957 - Freeway. - Freeway. 138 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,426 I suppose you've discussed the, uh, crackers in bed. 139 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,928 Yes, well, we were just beginning a dialogue 140 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,030 on that when you came in. 141 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:22,367 Yes, your arrival was most fortuitous. 142 00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,270 Not that it matters. 143 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:29,541 I'm so tired now I could sleep on broken glass. 144 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,777 Well, then you might wanna sleep in front of the China cabinet. 145 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,518 I thought it would be a good time to mention it. 146 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:43,121 We'll begin a dialogue on that...later. 147 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,057 Oh, honey, you look exhausted. 148 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,293 Maybe you should get a place down there during the week. 149 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:51,730 I can't do that, Kate. It would cost too much. 150 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,065 Well, get a couple of roommates. 151 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,501 A blond and a brunette. 152 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,738 But remember, when Mr. Roper comes over 153 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,573 pretend you're gay. 154 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,312 We're just gonna have to move to San Diego 155 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:09,314 sooner than we planned, that's all. 156 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,751 Alright, I'll go pack.. 157 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,553 ...again. 158 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:22,894 [sighs] So I guess we should sell the house right away. 159 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,663 Maybe with the extra money I'm making 160 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,331 we can afford a bigger one. 161 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,234 Excuse me 162 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,003 but did anyone find my cheese spread? 163 00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,177 Ooh. 164 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,512 Keep it. 165 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,282 [instrumental music] 166 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,621 Goodbye. And, uh, thanks for your offer. 167 00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:55,760 I'm not letting anyone turn this place into a bed and breakfast. 168 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,063 Did someone mention breakfast? 169 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,565 I'll be having the bacon and eggs and sausage and-- 170 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:03,768 ALF, it's 4 o'clock in the afternoon. 171 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,706 Ham and liver and chicken pot pie. 172 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,408 You know I hate the thought of someone else living here. 173 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:15,213 I hate the thought that it's 14 hours till breakfast. 174 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,249 [sighs] Will you stop thinking about your stomach? 175 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,952 We're going through a traumatic experience here. 176 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,955 Hey, hey, hey. I can relate. 177 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,925 This place means a lot to me too. 178 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,160 The garage I crashed into. 179 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,129 The bathroom I flooded. 180 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,565 The kitchen I blew up. 181 00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,066 [sobbing] 182 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,471 Let's sell this dump. 183 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,907 [instrumental music] 184 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:46,344 [instrumental music] 185 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,157 I'm sorry, Mrs. Spencer, I-I don't know 186 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,459 what happened to your check. 187 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,528 Yes, I know you have five children. 188 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,930 [chuckles] I can hear them from here. 189 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,334 Yeah. I know the check is late. 190 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,271 Yes, I know how to read a calendar. 191 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,507 It's the tenth. It's the eleventh. 192 00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:20,712 I-I'll-I'll see that you get that check, Mrs. Spencer. 193 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,284 [sighs] 194 00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,125 [clears throat] 195 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,294 Good morning, sir. 196 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:39,497 Uh, do you recall, uh, Mrs. Gladys Spencer? 197 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,865 Spencer? 198 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,801 Spencer? Umm.. 199 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:47,572 You were supposed to have sent her a check for $482. 200 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:50,842 Uh, I think I sent it, I-I remember sending something.. 201 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,544 ...to-to somebody. 202 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:56,081 Well, she said she didn't get that check. 203 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,083 Well, she probably blew it on lottery tickets 204 00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,318 forgot about it. 205 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,321 But just in case she didn't 206 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,056 would you mind checking to see 207 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,725 if you have any record of that check? 208 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,727 Sir, I'll get right on it. 209 00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,600 When? 210 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,002 When what? 211 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:22,107 When are you going to get right on it? 212 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:27,946 Well, uh, I was thinking ...after lunch. 213 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,380 How about now? 214 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:32,617 - I'm not hungry yet. - Get up! 215 00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,620 Gee, whatever happened to please? 216 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,693 Mr. Tanner, did you sign those requisitions forms? 217 00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:43,461 - Oh! - They have to go out by 1:00. 218 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,964 I'll get right on.. I'll do that now. 219 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,867 And payroll is still waiting for last week's time sheets. 220 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,402 Uh, I'll-I'll do that now. 221 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:54,239 And, sir, I still don't have a parking space. 222 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,975 Oh, sorry, Denise, I'll do that now. 223 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,477 Okay, and your son is on line two. 224 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:02,647 Sure, no problem, Denise. I've got 12 hands. 225 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,585 - Hi, Brian - 'Hi, daddy!' 226 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,321 - ALF, I'm very busy. - What are you doing? 227 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,590 I'm assigning parking spaces. 228 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,093 I thought you were a social worker. 229 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:20,165 I am but at the moment... I'm assigning parking spaces. 230 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,566 What do you want? 231 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,269 Two more couple saw the house today. 232 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,472 Really. Did any of the couples make an offer? 233 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,674 Nothing worth considering. 234 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,446 I'm very busy, ALF. I can't talk now. 235 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:39,217 Put me on hold. I'll listen to the muzak. 236 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,487 Goodbye, ALF. 237 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,766 Later, babe. 238 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:01,806 I found the, uh, Spencer check. It was in the Wilcox file. 239 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:06,211 Wilcox, Wilcox. Yeah, that name sounds familiar. 240 00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:11,115 Do you have any explanation for this? 241 00:14:11,117 --> 00:14:14,385 - Oops. - Oops? 242 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,121 - That's it? - Oops, sir. 243 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:22,193 I'd like you to take this check...to Mrs. Spencer. 244 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,163 Sure. 245 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,732 Oh, sir? 246 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,133 Can I take your car? 247 00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,636 I don't wanna take my new car into that part of town. 248 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,574 No, take your car. 249 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:39,711 Take it home and don't come back! 250 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:44,482 Denise, I found you a parking space. 251 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:48,887 Excuse me. 252 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:50,555 [instrumental music] 253 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,360 (man on TV) '...useful aluminum utensils of..' 254 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,095 '...right from the heart of the Orient.' 255 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,664 'This complete set of Ginsu Knives.' 256 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,900 'Plus, if you act now, you'll receive this' 257 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:05,403 'handy potato peeler, this automatic knife sharpener' 258 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,772 'and this genuine bronzite weather vane.' 259 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:08,940 'Call now.' 260 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,109 Oh, I will, I will! 261 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,911 Listen, what are you doing? 262 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:16,114 I'm buying you a genuine bronzite weather vane. 263 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,916 No, you're not. 264 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:21,619 Kindly remember this when you don't get a birthday present. 265 00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:24,622 [sighs] Please, ALF, not tonight. 266 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,624 I'm too tired. 267 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,760 Rough day at the office, dear? 268 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,328 You said.. 269 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,534 You know, I spent six hours on that.. 270 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,804 - Freeway. - Freeway. 271 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:45,476 Nobody in my office likes where they have to park. 272 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:49,380 And on top of that, I had to fire a guy today. 273 00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:53,551 Whoa! Swing that ax! 274 00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:56,487 I never fired anybody in my entire life 275 00:15:56,489 --> 00:16:00,825 and I swear I never wanna do it again! 276 00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,962 Well, that's what George Steinbrenner always says. 277 00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:09,834 Sounds to me like you're not too crazy about this new job. 278 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:12,837 I'm-I'm having a little trouble getting the hang of it 279 00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,472 that's all. 280 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:19,110 Well, like my old skleenball coach used to say 281 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:22,113 "Find out what you don't do well. 282 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,748 Then don't do it." 283 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,819 It's not that simple, ALF. 284 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:31,089 There are other people and things 285 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,324 that depend on me. 286 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,394 And-and I've got to consider what's best for them. 287 00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:43,034 Well...this move is a big mistake. 288 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,936 I've got to do somethin'. 289 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:50,508 Nah, that's too stupid. 290 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,779 I'll do it anyway. 291 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,716 [instrumental music] 292 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,355 So how long have you lived here? 293 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,957 All of our lives. 294 00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,859 We don't wanna move. 295 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,195 Well, if we buy this house, you can come and visit it. 296 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,797 Call first. 297 00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:17,001 Uh, what can you tell us about the neighborhood? 298 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,903 Well, umm.. 299 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,639 [chuckles] ...the Ochmoneks take a little getting used to. 300 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,742 Ochmoneks? You can spray for those, can't you? 301 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:29,247 Oh, no, no, those are our neighbors. 302 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:31,215 You probably wouldn't like them. 303 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,785 - Lynn! - Although they're super people. 304 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:39,590 Perhaps you'd like to take a look at our ample closet space. 305 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:43,961 I-I can fix that. 306 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,564 [thuds] 307 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,601 I'm not sure I can fix that. 308 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,171 [chuckles] Well, that's okay. Howard will fix it. 309 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,373 He's handy with tools. 310 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,242 Yeah, lucky for me. 311 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,678 Oh, honey, look at the fireplace. 312 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:06,751 - What was that? - Oh, just...bricks. 313 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:10,788 Uh, why don't we show you the, uh, kitchen? 314 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,492 Yes, yes, that's-that's where the dishes are. 315 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,629 - ALF? - It's got to be. 316 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:22,800 Oh, what an interesting little kitchen. 317 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,803 This will be great once we change everything. 318 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:29,140 Fortunately, Howard is handy with tools. 319 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,642 Yes, you mentioned that. 320 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,686 That usually doesn't happen. 321 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,989 Imagine our relief. 322 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,827 You know, these are just little things that are easily fixed. 323 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,497 That doesn't mean it's not like it's anything major. 324 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,732 [rattling] 325 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,803 Like the plumbing? 326 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:06,644 Let me show you the rest of the house. Come. 327 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:11,516 Are-are you folks hiding any other little defects? 328 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:15,086 Just one and I'm going to take care of it. 329 00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:21,025 The bedrooms are back here. 330 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:22,593 [electricity crackling] 331 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,697 Oh, that's, uh, that's probably just a fuse. 332 00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,032 Who built this place? 333 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,434 The Poltergeist Construction Company? 334 00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,704 Yeah, was anyone ever murdered here? 335 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,940 Not so far. 336 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,647 The master bedroom. 337 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,583 Well, at first glance, it seems harmless enough. 338 00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:49,787 Uh, we have wall-to-wall carpeting and, umm.. 339 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:52,823 Uh, this room is back from the street, so it's very quiet. 340 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,560 And, umm, this, of course, is where we sleep. 341 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,695 [cracking] 342 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,535 Although probably not tonight. 343 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:09,574 - I think we've seen enough. - Let's go, Howard. 344 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,543 Uh, uh, let me show you to the door. 345 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:18,716 Oh, ALF. 346 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,590 Could you get those two back in here? 347 00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,725 They didn't even check the bathroom. 348 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:30,561 I loosened every third tile. 349 00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:41,772 This is not the worst thing you've ever done. 350 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:45,209 This is the 15th worst thing you've ever done. 351 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,178 What was number nine? 352 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,685 The time you stuffed my shorts in Thanksgiving turkey. 353 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:02,526 What possible reason could you have had for this? 354 00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:06,631 Nobody wants to move, including you. 355 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:07,965 How do you know that? 356 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,601 Because you're a social worker. 357 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,436 What's that got to do with anything-- 358 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,273 Follow me, Willie. I'm trying to be linear. 359 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:19,977 Well, one could define social worker 360 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,146 as a person who performs work 361 00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:25,416 for the social good, couldn't one? 362 00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:26,717 Yes. 363 00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:27,985 Well, then how come all you're doing 364 00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:30,488 is playing musical parking spaces 365 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,690 and firing guys? 366 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,329 You know, I also have to find a shortstop 367 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:40,231 for the office softball team. 368 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,669 Try the Dominican Republic. 369 00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:46,804 Just tell me this. 370 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:50,074 Why are we moving out of a house we do like 371 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,810 so you can keep a job you don't like? 372 00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:57,181 I don't know. 373 00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:58,749 I win. 374 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:04,188 - ALF, how could you-- - No, no, hold-hold on, Kate. 375 00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:08,025 Before we give ALF the 15th worst scolding he's ever had 376 00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:10,695 I think there's something you ought to know. 377 00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:13,431 Brian, Lynn, Kate.. 378 00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:16,600 ...how would you all feel if I asked for my old job back 379 00:22:16,602 --> 00:22:18,202 and we just stayed in this house? 380 00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:20,304 - Yay! - Oh, do you mean it, dad? 381 00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:23,374 Of course, umm, I-I'm not gonna have that raise, you know? 382 00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:25,109 Forget it, we'll move. 383 00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:28,713 Sorry. 384 00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:32,116 A momentary attack of shallowness. 385 00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:34,118 I'm over it. 386 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,887 Well, honey, y-you worked so hard for this promotion. 387 00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,522 What made you change your mind? 388 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,991 Actually, it was ALF who convinced me 389 00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:44,195 we'd all be happier if we stayed right here. 390 00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,464 (Kate) Oh! 391 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:48,199 Although.. 392 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,802 ...instead of destroying the house.. 393 00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:54,672 ...why didn't we just talk about it? 394 00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:56,807 That was plan B. 395 00:22:57,577 --> 00:22:59,310 [instrumental music] 396 00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:04,915 ...closet door. 397 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,984 It's gonna take me at least a couple of weekends 398 00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:08,719 to make these repairs, you know. 399 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,421 Well, you could have Howard help you. 400 00:23:10,423 --> 00:23:12,256 He's handy with tools. 401 00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:13,991 [doorbell rings] 402 00:23:17,663 --> 00:23:19,897 Hi, I'm here to see the house. 403 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:22,933 Oh, I'm sorry. We just took it off the market. 404 00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:25,202 What? Are you jerking me around? 405 00:23:25,204 --> 00:23:27,438 Look, lady, I came all the way from Costa Mesa 406 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,739 to see this house 407 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,342 and I really think I should see the house. 408 00:23:31,344 --> 00:23:34,211 Well, you can see it, but you're not gonna buy it. 409 00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:35,679 And why not? 410 00:23:38,284 --> 00:23:40,684 Whoa! I am out of here! 411 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:47,858 Hey, great! Now we've got a furnished basement. 412 00:23:50,263 --> 00:23:53,164 Whoa! I am out of here! 413 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,701 [instrumental music] 414 00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:05,042 [theme music] 415 00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:32,803 [ALF laughing]