1 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,536 Hi, ALF. 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,271 Hi. 3 00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:09,975 What does E-N-N-U-I spell? 4 00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,377 Beats me. 5 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,212 What do we send you to school for? 6 00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:15,314 Beats me. 7 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,782 Can I see the mail? 8 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,318 I'm expecting to hear from the matchbook people 9 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,187 on how well I drew Binky. 10 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,722 Here you go, ALF. 11 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,894 "Occupant." "Resident." 12 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,332 Lingerie catalog. 13 00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,268 Kate, you saucy vixen, you! 14 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,172 Uh-oh. 15 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,673 They didn't like your Binky? 16 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:45,177 Worse! It's from that college Lynn wants to go to. 17 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,478 Why is that bad? 18 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,847 The college is in Massachusetts. 19 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,583 If Lynn goes to college in Massachusetts 20 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,719 she won't be living here anymore. 21 00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,156 - Hi! - Hi. 22 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,590 No mail today. 23 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,426 Then what are you holding? 24 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:02,928 Mail. 25 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,563 I'm a terrible liar. 26 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,698 - Let me see. - Wait, wait, wait. 27 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:10,769 - What does E-N-N-U-I, spell? - Ennui? 28 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,705 Ding ding ding! That's absolutely correct. 29 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:16,408 No need for you to go to college. 30 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,178 Give that to me. 31 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,081 Oh, my gosh, it's here! Cross your fingers, everybody! 32 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,582 No problem. 33 00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,419 Alright! This is fantastic! 34 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,221 I can't believe it! I've got to call Laurie. 35 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,789 Yes! Yes! 36 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:33,926 Maybe she didn't get in. 37 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,763 [theme music] 38 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:07,826 [music continues] 39 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,658 [instrumental music] 40 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,030 [sighs] 41 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,735 - What was that for? - Well, nothing. 42 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,374 [sighs] 43 00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,511 Is there something wrong? 44 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,980 What could possibly be wrong? 45 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:03,482 You're moving out. 46 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,817 You won't be living here. 47 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:09,621 You'll never call, you'll never write. 48 00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,190 ALF, just because I'm going away to Amherst 49 00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,792 doesn't mean you're never gonna see me again. 50 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,862 What's the matter, aren't you happy here? 51 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,998 It's Kate, isn't it? 52 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,668 No, and it's not that I'm not happy here. 53 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,571 It's just that it's time for me to be out on my own 54 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:29,508 to make my own decisions, my own mistakes. 55 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,677 You can make mistakes here. 56 00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,912 Take it from one who knows. 57 00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,149 I get the point. 58 00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:38,917 You don't want me to go away to school. 59 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:43,555 Well, uh, yeah. Sorta. 60 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:47,859 Oh, ALF! That's so sweet. 61 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,194 No mush. 62 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,762 Sorry. 63 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,566 Do you know I'm gonna miss you too? 64 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,903 - You will? - Uh-huh. 65 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,938 I'll write to you every week 66 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:02,941 and I'll even send you a sweatshirt. 67 00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:06,812 Just send me a regular shirt, I'll sweat in it myself. 68 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,114 Better idea. 69 00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,182 [knock on door] 70 00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,483 Come in. 71 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,454 Just in time. 72 00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:17,723 We were discussing sweat. 73 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:20,859 Which side would you like to expound? 74 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,895 Could we postpone the sweat debate? 75 00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:27,633 There's something that Kate and I wanna discuss with Lynn. 76 00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:31,270 Fine! I'll hie me to yon refrigerator 77 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,672 and forage for meat loaf. 78 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,142 Later, dude, dudettes. 79 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,247 Is something wrong? You guys look upset. 80 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,650 Uh, I'm afraid, we have some bad news, honey. 81 00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:50,956 I've checked this over a dozen different ways but.. 82 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:56,728 I-I guess there's no easy way to say this. 83 00:04:58,165 --> 00:05:01,566 We just can't afford to send you away to school next year. 84 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,972 When I applied, you said this wasn't gonna be a problem. 85 00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:10,642 Well, we've had some complications since then. 86 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:14,479 - You mean ALF. - Yeah, I mean ALF. 87 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,282 We counted on my having a full-time job this past year 88 00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,785 but with ALF here, that just wasn't possible. 89 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,454 And we've had so many extra expenses 90 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,358 supporting him, you know, there's food, and breakage 91 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,593 and food.. 92 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:33,999 You can still get a very good education at a state university. 93 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,102 But you will have to live at home. 94 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,538 I guess I should have seen this coming. 95 00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,211 If it's any consolation.. 96 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,781 ...we've had a rare opportunity 97 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,883 living with an alien. 98 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,386 You know, you couldn't get that at Amherst. 99 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,188 I'll never find out, will I? 100 00:05:57,991 --> 00:06:01,326 I'm sorry, Lynn, if you're unhappy. 101 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:04,963 But you know in life, we can't always get everything we want. 102 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,499 Oh yeah, dad? Where did you go to college? 103 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,900 Uh, Amherst. 104 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,570 Oh. 105 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,841 My parents didn't have an alien. 106 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:19,745 Give me an L! Give me a Y, give me an N, N, N! 107 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,180 Now lose the extra N. 108 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,882 What have you got? 109 00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:30,655 Was it something I spelled? 110 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,825 [instrumental music] 111 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,696 Lynnie, have a cookie. 112 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:41,166 - No, thank you. - Oh, boy! More for me. 113 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,701 And me! 114 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:44,403 You know how to eat these? 115 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,004 Twist off the top 116 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:48,774 and lick off all the gooey stuff inside. 117 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:52,277 Really? That's how I eat a jar of mayonnaise. 118 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:54,846 You're right, dad. 119 00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,215 I couldn't get this kind of education at Amherst. 120 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,350 [burps] 121 00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,854 Lynn, I know you're disappointed 122 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,956 but there are a lot of very fine schools nearby. 123 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,958 You can get a very, very good education. 124 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,127 But it's not the same thing. 125 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:13,198 I wanted to live in a dorm so I could finally be on my own. 126 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,966 Lynn, we've explained this to you already. 127 00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:18,437 We can't afford to send you away to school. 128 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:20,272 Fine, I'm going to my room 129 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:23,308 the place I'll be sleeping for the next four years. 130 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,746 Oh, this is terrible. 131 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,549 Why? You're gonna have your daughter around 132 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:33,418 for the next four years. 133 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:37,222 We would've been happier if she could have gone to Amherst. 134 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,491 Then you wanted to get rid of her. 135 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:42,761 Was it because she drinks milk right out of the carton? 136 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,663 Of course not. 137 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,665 Phew! Thank goodness! 138 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:51,136 We didn't want to get rid of her. 139 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:54,005 It's just that it's hard when your child wants something 140 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,741 and you can't give it to her. 141 00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,977 I've got a solution to your problem. 142 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,813 Oh, please, clue us in. 143 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,116 Brian, bring me the family budget. 144 00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:08,453 Or as I like to call it, gone with the wind. 145 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,988 [laughing] 146 00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:15,293 Alright, what are you doing with our family budget? 147 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:19,264 I'm trying to bring some fiscal sanity into this household. 148 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,770 Thank you, my trusty sidekick. 149 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,473 You're welcome, Lord Vader. 150 00:08:28,475 --> 00:08:30,275 Uh, Willie, look at this. 151 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:34,346 A payment to your mechanic for new brake shoes. 152 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:37,115 Isn't that a trifle foppish? 153 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,184 Of course. You're right. 154 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:43,021 I'd get home a lot faster if I were unable to stop the car. 155 00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:46,825 And these grocery bills! 156 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,561 Well, we can't touch those. 157 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:52,397 Although, I might point out that filet of cat 158 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:55,400 is cheaper than roast of beef. 159 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,836 Oh, here we are. This is what I was looking for. 160 00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:01,373 Miscellaneous. $10,000. 161 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,646 Just stop buying so many miscellaneouses. 162 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,948 What are they, Greek pastries? 163 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:14,219 ALF, we weren't gonna tell you this but 164 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:19,891 those miscellaneous expenses are what it costs to support you. 165 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,662 - No. - I would've guessed higher. 166 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:28,567 On Melmac you could support a family of four with that. 167 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:33,972 On Earth, we used to support a family of four with that. 168 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,178 So what you're saying is.. 169 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:43,281 ...I'm the real reason Lynn can't go away to school. 170 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,088 I feel like slime. 171 00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,224 I feel like slime guts. 172 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:57,529 I feel like slime gut droppings. 173 00:09:57,531 --> 00:10:01,800 I feel like slime gut droppings on an open fire. 174 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,705 How do you feel? 175 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,106 Nauseous. 176 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:11,509 [instrumental music] 177 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,315 (ALF) 'Kate, Willie?' 178 00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,219 Where's the fire extinguisher? 179 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,961 2.1 seconds. A new record! 180 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,598 - There's no fire. - I know. 181 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,134 I just wanted your immediate attention. 182 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:40,472 You got it. What do you want? 183 00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:44,976 Well, since it's my fault that Lynn can't go away to college 184 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,845 I'm gonna do something about it. 185 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,613 Okay. 186 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:52,183 Willie, I'm getting you a night job. 187 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,184 What? 188 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,786 I noticed you spend your evenings 189 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,455 just hanging around the house. 190 00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:01,426 Yes, I like to call that living my life. 191 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:04,696 Call it what you will. It's a thing of the past. 192 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:07,165 Now, I've got something here for you. 193 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,368 It's called, "men's room attendant." 194 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:15,507 Do I look like a men's room attendant? 195 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,977 No, you look like a scrubbing bubble. 196 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:22,380 - You have an interview at 9:00. - I'm not going. 197 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,015 We'll have to build up his confidence. 198 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,518 I'm not going. 199 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,119 Well, now, Kate, I notice 200 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,889 you yourself are not gainfully employed. 201 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:34,392 'To wit, I have several suggestions.' 202 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,327 Suggestion one. 203 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:42,400 "Telemarketing. For interview call 555-Jugs." 204 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,870 Pass. 205 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,739 Suggestion two. 206 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,208 "Be a model in your spare time. 207 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:54,913 For interview call 555-Jugs." 208 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,817 Where did you get this newspaper? 209 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,219 - I called 555-Jugs. - Juggs. 210 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,521 Suggestion three. 211 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,890 ALF, Kate and I have all the careers 212 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,393 we can handle at the moment, thank you. 213 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:13,164 Alright. How about putting Brian in a serial commercial? 214 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:16,267 That Mikey kid must be pushing 40 by now. 215 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:22,073 ALF, I appreciate what you're trying to do 216 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,409 but you've got to leave this to us. 217 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:28,947 We-we just have to make some sacrifices. 218 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,082 Sacrifices? 219 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:34,085 Well, you're not gonna throw me in a volcano, are you? 220 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:41,426 Oh, no, no! No, of course not. No. 221 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,661 Well, I guess I've got no other choice. 222 00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,232 I'll have to get a job. 223 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,466 You? 224 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,203 Hey, hey, here's something! 225 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,306 Exotic dancer. I could do that! 226 00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,111 ALF, you can't get a job. 227 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,946 Do you remember the time you tried to earn money 228 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,149 doing phone surveys? 229 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,285 - Yeah. - 'How much money did you make?' 230 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,419 None. 231 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,388 How many policemen came to the house? 232 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,892 Eleven. 233 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,326 Enough said. 234 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,629 - Goodnight, ALF. - Night, ALF. 235 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,130 Goodnight. 236 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:27,806 Oh, hey. Here's the job for me. 237 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,341 And what a majestic title! 238 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:33,411 It sounds like a superhero. 239 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,180 Paper-Boy! 240 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,750 [instrumental music] 241 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,026 [clears throat] 242 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:54,165 [clears throat] 243 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,708 Now that you're up, could I see the two of you 244 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:04,809 in the living room? 245 00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:06,211 [groans] 246 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:10,114 ALF, we're tired now. We wanna go to sleep. 247 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:13,384 Fine, but I don't know how you two can sleep 248 00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:17,388 considering what's in the living room. 249 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,135 [gasps] 250 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,037 - What! - What are these? 251 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,174 Newspapers, Willie. Get with it! 252 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,343 Why are they here? 253 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,845 Perhaps I should explain. 254 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,414 - Please do! - No, no, let me guess. 255 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,351 You're a newspaper boy. 256 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,220 Well, we prefer the term paper person. 257 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,089 It's gender-neutral. 258 00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,359 Do you actually believe 259 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,828 that you can afford to send someone through college 260 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,663 with a paper route? 261 00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:02,934 No. That's why I got 10 paper routes. 262 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:08,206 Oh, 10 paper routes? There must be 500 papers here. 263 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:11,376 Well, actually, 501. 264 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,078 They gave me an extra copy by mistake. 265 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,747 [chuckles] 266 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:19,217 ALF, you can't deliver newspapers. 267 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,685 Well, sure, I can! 268 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,654 You haven't seen my throwing arm. 269 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:28,259 Willie, I can't throw you and the newspaper. 270 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,197 Well, you two better get dressed. 271 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,234 Why? 272 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,069 If these papers aren't delivered 273 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,605 500 people won't get their news. 274 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,741 Their weather, their Doonesbury. 275 00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:47,578 Well, nobody ever gets Doonesbury. 276 00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,181 It's become self indulgent, don't you think? 277 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:53,418 Willie.. 278 00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,420 Willie, no, Willie, I hate to say.. 279 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:58,389 Willie, we're gonna have to deliver these papers 280 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,992 500 people want their newspaper. 281 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,294 And I wanna win a new bicycle. 282 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,166 Alright. 283 00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,102 Alright. Help me load them into the car. 284 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,571 Uh, listen, on your way home 285 00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,607 could you pick me up a an Egg McMuffin? 286 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,444 (Kate) 'Freeze, paperboy!' 287 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,747 - Me? - You're coming with us. 288 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:26,017 - What, are you crazy? - I can't deliver papers. 289 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:29,854 - Someone might see me. - That's their tough luck. 290 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,324 [instrumental music] 291 00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,295 [crickets chirping] 292 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,965 (ALF) 'I think this is the one. No, no, no, no! Uh, uh..' 293 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:44,302 'Yeah, yeah, this is the one. No, no, no. Wait, wait.' 294 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,838 Uh, might be this one. 295 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,172 No, no, no, no! 296 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,108 Oh, yeah, yeah! It is, it is. Right here. 297 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,809 Throw, Willie! Now, now! 298 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,211 [rattling] 299 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,712 Oops! 300 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,516 Oops? 301 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,787 Would you be so kind as to define.. 302 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,289 ...oops? 303 00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:07,759 Wrong house. 304 00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,661 Again. 305 00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,965 Hey, what do I look like, The Amazing Kreskin? 306 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,933 It's dark out there. 307 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,744 Want me to drive for a while? 308 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,716 [instrumental music] 309 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,021 Okay, Willie, make a left here. 310 00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:40,258 Oh, no, no! Right, right. 311 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:43,694 Oh, no, no. Go straight. Go straight. 312 00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,697 Okay, now, now right. Make a right now. 313 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,599 Right. Why aren't you turning? 314 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,601 Well, there's no intersection! 315 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,804 Good answer. 316 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:58,509 (Kate) We haven't delivered a paper in 15 minutes. 317 00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:01,412 ALF, are you sure you know where we're going? 318 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,615 ALF? 319 00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:09,620 [snoring] 320 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,027 [sighs] 321 00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:17,495 Last one. 322 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,232 Well, it's about time! 323 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,601 - Kate? - Raquel. 324 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,238 You're up early. 325 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,575 Are you our new paperboy? 326 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:33,478 We prefer paper person, it's gender-neutral. 327 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:39,383 Kate, hey, Kate, you should have told us you were destitute. 328 00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:40,918 Oh, no, Raquel. 329 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,420 We're just earning a little extra money 330 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,122 to send Lynn away to school. 331 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,623 Uh-huh. Sure. 332 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,759 Well, if you and the family ever have to sleep in your car 333 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:51,362 please feel free to park on our front lawn. 334 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,665 Right next to Trevor's cousin. 335 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,402 Someone lives in that Volkswagen? 336 00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,671 No, not the Volkswagen, the jeep. 337 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,574 Well, brr. 338 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,516 [instrumental music] 339 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,623 Raquel saw me delivering her paper. 340 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,791 She thinks we're destitute. 341 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,293 Destitute? 342 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:25,863 I got a job, I got a paper route 343 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:29,133 I got an interview at 9:00 a.m. 344 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:33,538 Look alive! The evening edition will soon be here. 345 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:36,040 No more editions, no more paper routes 346 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:40,444 no more ink on my fingers. This madness must stop. 347 00:19:40,446 --> 00:19:41,979 Hey, come on! 348 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,614 What's four years of sleep 349 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:46,017 compared to our daughter's happiness? 350 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,153 She's not our daughter. 351 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,222 I mean she's our daughter. 352 00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,324 She's not our daughter. 353 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,459 - Who's not your daughter? - You. 354 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,828 Since when? 355 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:01,499 Lynn, of course you're our daughter. 356 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,168 Well, biologically you're their daughter 357 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,371 but I will be giving you away at your wedding. 358 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,839 I may not be having a wedding. 359 00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,209 And if I do, it will probably be in my bedroom. 360 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,078 Okay. That's it, Lynn! 361 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,080 Yeah, you're grounded! 362 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,416 [knock on door] 363 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,618 Under the table, ALF. 364 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:26,023 - 'Raquel?' - 'Oh, hi, Kate.' 365 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:29,927 (Kate) 'Uh, Raquel, we don't need this food.' 366 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:34,065 (Raquel) 'Well, you can't live on pride. Bon appetit.' 367 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,935 Who is she, Julia Child? 368 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,105 What was that all about? 369 00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,542 Raquel thinks we're destitute. 370 00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:46,110 Why would she think that? 371 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:49,380 She saw me deliver her newspaper this morning. 372 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,349 What? 373 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:54,952 Oh! ALF got a paper route. 374 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:02,026 Oh, correction, he got 10 paper routes. 375 00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:07,765 He wanted to try to raise enough money to send you to college. 376 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:11,702 Yeah, and Kate and Willie were my assistants. 377 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:15,740 Not my cheerful assistants mind you. 378 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,743 You guys stayed up all night delivering newspapers? 379 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:21,212 Well, two-thirds of us did. 380 00:21:22,582 --> 00:21:25,483 See what I mean about the cheerful part? 381 00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,286 You did that for me? 382 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:33,491 Yeah, and the 10-Speed which I won't be winning. 383 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:38,929 I've been acting like such a brat. 384 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,431 I'm sorry. 385 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,899 You're still grounded. 386 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,737 I guess I could go to college around here. 387 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:48,839 - You could? - Yeah. 388 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,442 A lot of my friends are going to state schools. 389 00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,110 It can't be that bad. 390 00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:56,947 Attagirl! Eat your words. 391 00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:59,817 You never know, maybe in a year or two I'll be able to transfer. 392 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,086 Well, sure, honey. Who knows? 393 00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:05,323 Meanwhile, we'll be living like kings 394 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:10,461 on the Ochmonek's chickpeas and cocktail onions. 395 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:13,798 ALF, you can eat it all. 396 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,568 Okay. But I gotta tell ya, there's tripe in there. 397 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:22,973 Sweetheart, I'm so glad you understand. 398 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:25,109 Moosh alert! 399 00:22:25,111 --> 00:22:30,348 ALF, come on! Sometimes moosh is nice. 400 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,982 Oh, alright. 401 00:22:31,984 --> 00:22:36,287 Willie, I love you more than chickpeas and tripe. 402 00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,657 The feeling is mutual. 403 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,859 [instrumental music] 404 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:47,531 Well, here's a place you can save money. 405 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:50,234 That's our fire insurance premium. 406 00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:52,603 $3000 a year? 407 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,640 You know, it was only $300 a year 408 00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:59,577 just before you moved in. 409 00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,746 Talk about inflation. 410 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:09,520 Oh, look at this one. Dental visits twice a year. 411 00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,055 You know what that costs? 412 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:14,058 Forgive us, ALF, we're fond of our teeth. 413 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,927 Trust me. You can get by on four. 414 00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:21,599 Pet supplies? 415 00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:23,667 Well, I've got a solution to that one. 416 00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:27,671 Just a thought. 417 00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:29,607 [instrumental music] 418 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:35,780 [theme music] 419 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:03,040 [ALF laughing]