Downloaded from YTS.MX
[instrumental music]
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
Hi.
[chuckles]
[The Edgar Winter Group singing "Easy Street"]
♪ Saturday night ♪
♪ At the corner cafe... ♪
[Hoops] Once upon a time, there was a lonely kind of a guy
who'd resigned himself to the fact that love was blind.
Now, if love is blind
he thought to himself.
How will it find me?
It honestly seems such a crime.
For how many times has love knocked on the door...
...when it should have been knocking on mine?
[barking]
And so one day, he went off
in search of the aloof creature.
He soon happened upon the cute
and fuzzy bunny gang.
Perhaps, they could help him.
Uh, pardon me, cute and fuzzy bunnies.
He said.
I wonder if you
could help me find love.
[chuckles] Love would have nothing to do
with such a stupid looking creature.
Said the first cute and fuzzy bunny.
[chuckles] With that nose
and those shoes.
And that stomach.
And those eyes.
[bunny #1] And those ears.
[all bunnies] Roses are red, violets are blue
but love will have nothing to do with you!
They chanted and danced around him.
Naturally, our hero was very saddened by this
so... um... he...
Actually, uh, he...
He reached into his suitcase
and pulled out a Israeli submachine gun
and he, he sawed those
cute, fuzzy bastards in half
with hot lead!
Oh-ho! It was beautiful!
[gunfire]
[Hoops] Wait, stop!
No, no.
It's supposed to be a love story not a "Rambo" bloodbath.
Forget it. It's not your fault.
It's me.
[music on stereo player]
Hey, Morty, how am I gonna get this done?
What do you know? You're not a man. You're a cat.
Go back to your feline world.
Get outta here.
[meows]
You better get a move on, Hoops.
You'll miss graduation.
Okay, mom.
Here's your cap and gown.
All clean.
What do you mean, "All clean?"
Hoops, these are rented.
Do you know how many people wear them?
I washed them.
[male #1] Rita Segal.
[all cheering]
Solomon Shapiro.
Frank Stephens.
Shirley Storm.
I gotta get out of Generic this summer
or I'm gonna lose my mind.
Hoops, come to Nantucket with me.
We'll have a blast. We'll scale mermaids.
No, I can't be goin' to bein' a party monkey, George.
I gotta buckle down.
I've got two weeks to submit my scholarship assignment.
It's the only chance I'm gonna get to get into
Rhode Island School of Design.
Come on, Hoops, it's the summer.
We're high school graduates now.
I mean, it's time to reap the rewards of four years
of hard, grueling, mind-expanding work.
What's this word?
Your last name.
[scoffs] Oh, yeah.
Georgina Williams.
[Hoops] The scholarship assignment is supposed to
be an illustrated love story.
What do I know about love?
How am I supposed to write a good love story?
I've never been in love.
I would like to congratulate
the 1986 graduating class
of Generic New York High School!
[all cheering]
- Honey, you like it? - Oh, daddy, it's great.
[female #1] It's just what I wanted.
I think what you really need
is a break from your mom.
I mean, what, you're gonna end up bein' a...
...a street cleaner because you didn't get your
basketball scholarship?
Yeah, I guess she's just takin' it hard, right?
Of course she is.
I mean, it's like my mom
saying I'm an irresponsible louse.
I mean, I know that she knows
I'm not irresponsible.
I mean, your mother still has faith in you, Hoops.
I mean, just because you can't play basketball
worth of shit, doesn't mean you
got no other option in life.
I guess you're right.
There you go.
And nothin' proves that more than bein' surprised
with your brand new graduation wheels.
That final, parental confirmation
that you're going somewhere in life.
And this is just the vehicle to take you there.
[indistinct chatter]
Nantucket, huh?
When can we leave?
Just gotta pick up my sister.
And, Hoops, uh, remember
never say anything about her dog.
[Twisted Sister singing "Be Chrool To Your Scuel"]
[indistinct shouting]
♪ Be cruel to your school ♪
♪ 'Cause you may never get another ♪
♪ Be cruel to your school ♪
♪ In the name of rock 'n' roll ♪
♪ Be cruel to your school... ♪
Okay, you've gotta go. Let's go. Come on.
Bye-bye, everybody.
Hey, Squid!
You and old Boscoe gonna visit
grandma this summer?
[mocking] Dog from Mars.
It's so ugly.
Someone put it to sleep.
[together in unison] Na-na-na-na-na.
Girls, girls, girls!
You know, if you make faces like that
and somebody slaps you on the back
you'll stay that way forever!
[both] Na-na-na-na-na!
Go on! Go on!
Have a nice summer!
[laughter]
[female #2] Dog from space!
[both] Na-na-na-na-na.
♪ I have a brain or will I go insane ♪
♪ I've gone insay-ay-ay-ay-ane ♪
[music continues]
[both screaming]
[screaming]
Geez!
There sure are some ugly-looking kids
running around here.
♪ 'Cause hey I gotta know ♪
♪ What I'll have to show ♪
♪ When I hi hi ho it from here ♪
♪ Do A-B-Cs and 1-2-3s ♪
♪ Mean that much to me that much to me... ♪
[Hoops] So, where's this place, anyway?
[George] First stop's a little place
called Woods Hole.
[rock music]
[engine rumbling]
[tires screeching]
[ZZ Top singing "Dirty Dog"]
♪ Hey baby watcha gonna do ♪
♪ Now that I've left you ♪
♪ I said we're through ♪
♪ All along you've been runnin' round ♪
♪ But you ain't the only game in town ♪
♪ I dug your brush ♪
♪ And your ass was fine ♪
♪ I dug your jelly and your mighty mind ♪
♪ But you rubbed it on another guy ♪
♪ You're history and this is why ♪
♪ You're just a dog ♪
[engines revving]
[laughing]
[chuckles]
Okay, Cassandra...
...all I want is my money.
It's my money and you know it!
No!
It's definitely mine.
Trust me.
[laughing]
Excuse me, guys. Lookin' for this?
Get him!
George, get us out of here!
So long, sucker.
It's my money! It's mine!
[tires screeching]
[indistinct chatter]
[grunts]
- Who are your friends? - Maniacs!
Get us out of here! Go, go, go!
[engines revving]
Hurry up! They're gaining on us!
- Hi. - Hi.
- Who are you? - I'm Cassandra.
- Good. - George. Pleasure's all mine.
Watch where you're going! We're heading for the docks!
We gotta make the boat.
- Boat? What boat? - What?
You think we're driving to Nantucket?
Come on, it's an island!
[engine revving]
You never mentioned any boat. I hate boats.
I'm not gettin' on any boat.
I beg to differ.
[foghorn blowing]
[Cassandra] What are you doing? It's already left!
[George] We'll make it.
- We'll make it? - We'll make it.
You might wanna brace yourselves though.
[all screaming]
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[screaming]
♪ I'm crackin' up I'm gonna take my leave ♪
♪ I dug your brush ♪
[grunting]
[laughing]
Get me out of here!
Now!
♪ You're history and this is why ♪
♪ You're just a dog ♪
[sighs]
[clanging]
This is gonna be a great summer.
[grunting]
I want you to die!
[Hoops] Once upon a time, there was a lonely kind of a guy
on a quest for love.
The cute and fuzzy bunnies were quick to cooperate this time.
The path they sent him on landed him
on an ocean-going vessel.
Now, our hero hated boats
but he was desperate in his quest.
And once again he fell victim to the heinous
cute and fuzzy bunnies.
And he was sucked into the cold, dark sea
and he never found love.
[whining]
[bunnies laughing]
[instrumental music]
Are you alright?
Me?
Yeah, great. Really good.
Why?
I don't know, you look pretty uncomfortable.
What, a-are you afraid of water?
No.
No, not really. No.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, actually, I am afraid of the water.
But, uh, this is a big boat.
A lot of safety equipment.
And I can see the land.
[exhales] Clean, fresh air.
[inhales]
[George] Chili dog.
Go away.
[seagulls squawking]
You live on the island?
Just for the summer, I'm going over
to help my grandfather out.
What kinda help?
Well, he's got a houseful of friends
he's taking care of, and...
He's having money problems.
I was working in some dive tryin' to
help him out but I got ripped off.
Is that what that was about, the big scene back there?
- Yeah. - Hm.
I wish I could've helped out more.
Oh, come on, you were great.
[George] You sure? Last bite.
Will you get out of here with this?
Hey, you kids!
[both screaming]
[foghorn blowing]
[whirring]
[instrumental music]
[screaming]
Come on!
This gonna be, this is gonna be fun.
[chuckles]
[Clay] All the eggs, they're broken!
Argh!
Clay, I-if you're not gonna stand on the right side
you're like defeating the entire purpose
of even buying them, you big mess!
Mess! Argh!
[music continues]
There they are. The Stork twins.
[Hoops] Those guys? They're twins?
[George] Yeah, Clay's a couple minutes older.
Yo!
The Stork twins!
[screaming]
This is Hoops.
Aloha!
Hi, Hoops!
I'm gonna go get the car.
Hey, Squidly!
Hey, this is gonna be a great shot.
I'm out. Maybe we'll see each other.
- Hope so. - Alright.
- Take it easy. - Yeah, you too.
Hey, Stork guys!
- Hi, Hoops. - What's happening?
- How do you do? - Hi.
I-it's very, it's very...
[screaming]
- Nice to meet you. - Yeah.
Me too. What's going on here?
What's with the big fish?
Oh, they're shooting the sequel
to that movie "Foam" here.
Yeah, about, about the giant dolphin
with rabies that terrorizes
a small New England town.
Wow.
We're gonna work part-time
as security guards on the set.
- Stork twins! - Argh!
[both screaming]
- Clay! - O-ow.
So, what, you guys got the day off
from the garage?
- W-w-we're doing a job. - Doing a job.
- We're pickin' up a boat. - Pickin' up a boat.
Whose boat is it?
[engine revving]
- His. - His.
[tires screeching]
[indistinct chatter]
[whispers] You touched my car.
[whispers] What?
You touched my car!
Right! Well, let me just get it clean, then!
You touched it again!
Don't ever touch
my car again, ever, ever!
Don't touch my car
ever, ever again!
Teddy, honey...
...can we go pick up your boat?
Ever!
Remember? Your new boat?
[instrumental music]
[Teddy] Ty, bring in the Stork twins!
Come here.
[grunting]
Ow!
Boy, I wouldn't have come, anyways.
- Ow. Ow, ow. - Now, move that tow truck!
Let's go! Hustle!
Uh, my shoe!
[seagulls squawking]
[shutter clicks]
[engine revving]
[shutter clicks]
That is some tuna.
[engine revving]
[music on stereo player]
[dog whining]
Grammy, the high school graduates are here.
Oh!
Look who it is.
Grammy!
My pride and joy.
There's my little girl.
[chuckling]
Look what grammy bought for you.
[dog whining]
Would you like some nice milk and cookies?
Come on, your grammy will show you where you go...
Nice meeting you too.
She's nuts about me.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, you gotta meet my Uncle Frank.
[male #2 on radio] One million dollars.
This is it.
We guarantee it.
This is your summer to win!
Keep it here and listen
for this jingle.
[male #3 on radio] 95.5 FM.
Music money time.
[male #2] If you, yes, you
are our fiftieth caller...
One million dollars is all yours!
That's right.
Hey, Uncle Frank.
Georgie? Georgie!
- What are you doin' in here? - Still at it, huh?
My God, Would you get out of here? What do you think?
I'm playing games? I need to be left alone!
Why don't you just leave me alone?
Every summer he sits there trying to win that radio show.
Every summer he loses a little bit more of his mind.
Why don't they just leave me alone with my dream?
[music on radio]
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[gun cocking] Okay.
[gun cocks] There.
Now, Billy, take this to the back room.
Field strip it.
[loud clattering]
Careful with that thing!
Boys, tourniquet!
[bell dinging]
- Calamari. - Mr. Raymond.
Thought you'd be in prison by now.
What can I do for you?
We're looking for Acky.
Uh, this is my friend, Hoops McCann.
Quit monkeying with that thing!
Sorry.
Well, another wasted summer, huh, boys?
Why don't you go in with Acky?
Just think of it.
Death from above!
Airborne!
Excuse me if I'm wrong, sir
but, uh, Acky throws up
on the Ferris wheel at the children's park.
You've got no college acceptance, George.
You've got no direction with your lives.
No, no plan.
When there's no plan, there's no attack.
And no attack, there's no victory.
[clattering]
This!
This is what makes men, men.
I'll have to pick one up.
Anyway, where's Acky?
Oh, he's out on a mission for his old man.
- A mission, sir? - Yeah.
He's on the beach, collecting shells.
Well, that's a little bit
more like Acky's speed.
[explosions]
Acky, what are you doing?
George, take cover!
Your dad said you were collecting shells.
Shells.
Fifty seven millimeter.
My dad gets 12 bucks a piece for them.
They make great paperweights.
Hi, I'm Ack Ack.
Let's get outta here.
Come on, over the top, boys!
Nobody lives forever!
Oh, my God!
[explosions]
You could've waited till they were done
bombing the beach, I mean, come on.
[panting] When the man says go, you go.
You could have been killed.
[intense music]
Oh, my God!
Do you realize for every lost, mangled doll
there's a little girl with a broken heart?
Sure you wanna be a marine, Acky?
I mean, I just don't
see you having the killer instinct.
[music continues]
"He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death..."
What's going on?
"Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life."
[alarm beeping]
Oh, for God's sake!
Excuse me for just one...
[beeping stops]
[sighs]
Uh...
[dramatic music]
[water bubbling]
Leave me.
[squealing]
So, old man Eldridge
finally kicked, eh, Ted?
Doin' my laps, dad.
Ted, I would like
to have a word with you.
In a minute, dad.
Ow!
I'll try not to take up too much of your time.
Okay, okay.
Are you ready for the regatta, Ted?
Yeah, sure, I'm ready. The new sloop's a beauty.
I can't lose.
If you screw it up this year
you and I are out...
Hi, daddy.
- Hi, grandpa. - How are you?
Good.
If you screw it up this year, Ted
that decaying old man
your grandfather
takes everything away.
Do you understand, Ted?
If you don't come home with that trophy
we lose it all.
No more pools.
No more Ferrari.
And do you know what happens then, Ted?
Don't say it, dad.
That's right, Ted.
You'll have to go to...
- No! No, dad. Don't say it. - Work, Teddy, work!
Don't say that word, please!
I'll win. Just don't say that word!
That's why I need this Eldridge land.
With this land, I can finally start building
Beckerstead Estates.
And that crazy old man can't...
[whirring]
- Hi, daddy. - Hi, grandpa.
[Beckerstead] Have a wonderful day.
That crazy old man can't hold that race
over my head every year.
Now, Ted...
...what did you find out about this place?
Oh, Chong says he left it to his granddaughter.
She's got one week to pay the back mortgage.
And, dad, I've seen this girl. She's a...
She's a real hippie type.
She wears, like, these braids.
What do they call them, cornhusks?
If she don't get the money
you get the house.
They're already doing the paperwork.
Wonderful.
[dramatic music]
This will be my most
beautiful restaurant yet.
I used to come down here with him all the time.
[instrumental music]
Your grandfather sounded like he was a really nice man.
I'm really sorry.
Old Mr. Peckerhead's been trying to...
- Who? - Beckerstead.
He's been trying to drive grandpa
out of that house since I was a baby.
I guess he finally got him.
So what's gonna happen, I mean, to the house
and all his friends, what are they gonna do?
The bank's given me one week to come up
with the back mortgage of three thousand dollars.
It might as well be a million.
You know I just can't let those people
be thrown out on the streets.
I just wish I had more time.
I wish I could help.
I'm not gonna give up.
I figure that I can sell some of the furniture
and I'm, I'm gonna do some clubs.
You sing?
Yeah, I try.
Cool.
I bet you're really great.
Thanks.
I guess basketball is your thing
with a name like Hoops.
Yeah, it's kinda in the family blood, you know?
My dad was really great.
But I wanna do something a little more challenging.
A little different.
So I figure I'm gonna try to get
a scholarship to art school.
What do you draw?
Nothing, lately.
I'm in kind of a rut.
Draw me something?
Okay.
What can I get for you?
I don't know.
Um...
How about a gorilla?
Or me, or, um...
No, how about a gorilla and me?
You and a gorilla.
[Hoops] Okay, so...
Okay.
[instrumental music]
boing boing
[Hoops] Uh, lose the nose.
Fix that, and...
change the feet.
Best I could do with short notice.
It's great.
If this is what you do second best
I'd love to see you play basketball.
It's quite a sight, let me tell you.
Thanks for cheerin' me up.
[music continues]
My pleasure.
Well, I better go.
Yeah, me too.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Maybe you can come by later.
Okay.
Bye.
[music continues]
Cassandra!
Cassandra, can you help me a minute?'
Could you help me out? I-I'm stuck.
[male #2 on radio] One million dollars.
It could happen at any time, any day
any hour, any minute, any second!
We're giving away one million dollars
and it could happen now, right now!
But it's not going to happen yet.
So keep listening for this jingle
[male #3 on radio] 95.5...
[buzzes]
[male #2 on radio] To win one million dollars!
[chuckling]
Whoa, whoa!
[explosion]
[screaming]
[Clay] Hey, Egg!
[stammering] Really smart.
What if that went in my eye?
Argh!
Hey, where's Hoops?
Uh, he went over, he went over there.
You guys better look after him, man.
He's got a tendency to wallow
in his artistic miseries, if you know what I mean.
Yeah.
Hey, Egg, uh, cut me a little shade, will you?
Okay, thank you.
[music on stereo player]
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hey, little boy, will you hold on to this for me?
Thank you very much.
- Argh! - Mommy?
- Sorry. - Mommy!
[female #3] Jimmy? Jimmy!
[Jimmy] Mommy!
- Hi, Hoops. - Hi.
[screaming]
Hoops, how about a brew?
Thanks, guys. That's good.
Oh, please, Mr. Dog, don't.
[stammering] What are you doing?
Nothing much, guys.
H-Hoops, if you run out of things to draw
you can draw us, you know, heh.
Yeah, like, you could draw us nude.
Yeah, yeah, bare naked
with no clothes on!
No, no, button up! Button up!
Thank you. I appreciate that.
But I'll come up with something.
Oh, look, I-I offer you my body a-a-and...
And now I'm the jerk of the world or something.
It was a nice gesture.
Hi. I met you at the docks yesterday.
Hello. Hi, I'm Hoops.
Cookie.
- How's it going? - Great.
Alright, uh... These are the Stork twins.
- Hi, Cookie. - She's Cookie.
Hi, Cookie. I'm Egg.
Gemini!
I know them. They work for my boyfriend.
[scoffs] What can I do for you?
My friends and I are gonna go sailing
and we were wondering if you and your friends
could help us get our boat in the water?
Ah, well, what do you say, fellas?
Can we help these lovely ladies
get their boats in the water?
No, no, I'll tell you what, I-it sounds like work.
Hoops, Hoops, boats are heavy. I'll get a hernia.
Guys, come on, come on, let's do it.
- Would you guys get up? - Argh!
Sure. Love to.
- Great. - What kinda boat you have?
Well, you got anything else we can do for you
like, maybe, shovel your driveway or somethin'?
You guys!
[gasps]
[growling]
[Egg screams]
Hey! Hey, you guys!
Do you have anything, like, heavier we could carry?
- Like a car? - Guys!
[George groans]
Oh, yeah, sure, like, forsake me
for eight chicks.
Come on, hey!
Sir?
Wait, no! Mister, please!
Please, sir!
No, y-y-you don't understand.
I've had a bad day.
[Egg screams]
[music on stereo player]
Do you want to come sailing? There's room for one more.
[sighs] No.
Really, I can't.
I, I don't like boats.
You're not afraid, are you?
No, of course not.
I just got a lot to do, you know, on the beach.
How about a movie, then?
- What about your boyfriend? - He's going to a reception.
I'll pick you up at 8:00.
♪ Down on the corner ♪
♪ I'll be in the street ♪
♪ Willy and the poor boys are playin' ♪
♪ Bring a nickel tap your feet ♪
♪ Rooster hits the washboard ♪
♪ And people just gotta smile ♪
Oh, come on, have a heart, dude.
[mumbling]
Oh, no, not those. Oh, no! Oh!
Please, Your Enormousness, anything, but chili!
She really likes you!
Too bad George wasn't here to see that, huh, Hoops?
- George! - George!
- He ain't far out. - Dead man on the beach!
[indistinct chatter]
[female #4] Chili?
Phil, do the CPR.
- You do it. - No. I have seniority.
I want you to give him CPR.
Phil, give him CPR!
[Hoops] George was alive, just barely.
Nobody wanted to perform CPR on him
so it was a complete nightmare.
But enough about old George.
So, how's the dollar count comin'? You get any more money?
So far so good. I sold some of the furniture.
And I have a gig tonight at a club
called the Dew Drop Inn.
Maybe you can come by.
Yeah, sure. I-I mean I'll try.
I-I might have something to do tonight maybe.
Oh, well, if you can.
Be nice to have a friend there.
I'll be there. I'll be at the first table.
You can count on it.
I got to go. George's grandma is makin' us supper.
You know how grandmas are about that kind of thing.
This kinda means the world to 'em.
[Grandma Calamari] Are you sure you don't want just a little bit more?
[Hoops] No, thank you. I'm stuffed. It was delicious, though.
Well, alright, then.
[whistling]
I got it.
- Keep it. - Thank you very much.
- Thank God. - It was really good.
[George] So, uh, what do you mean you're not
goin' out with Cookie tonight?
You're here to write a love story, Hoops.
Cookie is a love story.
George, have you seen her boyfriend?
He's like Cro-Magnon teen. No way.
Besides, I said I was gonna help Cassandra.
I promised I'd go to her show.
Yeah, but like-like Cookie asked you out first.
[stammering] W-we were there.
Y-you know, Teddy's not even gonna be around tonight, Hoops.
You know where Teddy's gonna be?
He's gonna be at a little reception
celebrating the rape of the land
that Cassandra's house now stands on.
- The Stork brothers told me. - That's true!
You know, Cookie seems like a real nice person.
Maybe she'd like to help Cassandra out.
I don't think that's what she's interested in.
You know what I mean?
Ha, come on, Hoops.
Quit thinkin' about yourself all the time.
I mean, go out with Cookie...
...and, uh, get her on your side.
And then go see Cassandra.
Mm, think I'd rather keep all the original
bone structure of my face, okay?
- Do you want to help Cassandra? - Of course.
Well, listen, the Stork twins
are going to the reception after work.
If Teddy, say, does anything...
...they'll call me at the drive-in and, uh...
...the big guy will be watchin' your back.
Trust me.
Once upon a time there was a happening kind of a guy
who'd stumbled onto a girl
who embodied all that love should be.
All seemed well.
[laughing]
Maybe, those cute and fuzzy bunnies
weren't so bad after all.
Until...
Her boyfriend showed up and pounded him into something
that resembled a wet prune.
Ouch.
Never! Never! Never! Never! Never! Never! Never!
I am going to die.
Forget about it.
- Where're you goin'? - I'm going to see Cassandra.
Baby.
[instrumental music]
[screams]
Are you ready for me, Hoops?
Hey, wait a minute. Pull over. I know her.
Hey, you need a ride?
[water splashing]
- That was a friend of mine. - I don't pick up hitchhikers.
Ha!
[incoherent screaming]
Oh, the humanity!
Thank you very much for the ride.
I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Hey, Clay! Clay!
Clay! Hi.
Hi. I didn't hear you come in.
Uh-uh, I have to come here and then relieve you
'cause dad needs you right now, pronto at the gas station!
Okay, b-but, Egg, don't forget a-at 9:00
you have to be at the Beckersteads.
Watch Teddy, if anything weird is goin' on
call George at the drive-in right away.
We can't let Hoops down.
Okay. No problem.
Egg, don't forget.
No matter what, don't touch anything
on this prop truck, okay?
Oh, oh, l-l-like I'm really gonna!
[blabbering]
♪ Let's all go to the lobby ♪
♪ To get ourselves a treat ♪
[female #5] Delicious things to eat...
Are you nervous about something?
- Me? - Yeah.
No, I'm havin' a great time. Enjoy.
Are you sure?
- Can I ask you something? - Yeah.
Aren't you goin' out with that guy Teddy?
Yeah.
Why aren't you with him tonight?
'Cause he's got some silly reception to go to
and then he's got his Vang Shoo classes.
What's Vang Shoo?
Martial art...
...of disemboweling...
...another human being with a popsicle stick.
Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I'll just go get us some treats.
Stay right here.
[groans]
I'll just get us some treats.
Could you bring me some popcorn?
Popcorn.
Check it out. It's that McCann guy.
And he's with Cookie.
I-I... Look at... I like that one. I like that.
I wanna, I wanna...
Ah!
Now, that is a... I could wear that anywhere.
[mumbling]
[screaming]
I'm gonna look nice.
[instrumental music]
Michael?
Michael!
Michael?
[George] Hey, Hoops.
Good party, eh?
George, where are your friends, the twins?
Are they watching that monster?
Don't worry about it, man. They're very reliable.
Trust me.
[growling]
Well, thank you very much.
It feels good to be back here at the Club Tokyo.
Hi! How're you doin'? Where're you from?
What do you do for a livin'?
9:00? Shit!
9:00!
Goddamn it! Argh!
[screaming]
Shit!
[vehicle honking]
Relax.
Would you get over here, you two stupid clowns?
I can't wait all night.
Wilbur, look at this.
Damn, that looks like one of those
medical experiments that went astray.
Little girl, I'm gonna have nightmares
just knowing that that dog exists.
Looks like it's been microwaved or somethin'.
[Taylor] Why, Wilbur, I believe that's a case for a mercy killing.
What do you say, little girl?
Want us to put that dog
out of its misery for ya?
Well, I can't wait any longer.
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
[Cassandra] Hi. How you doin'?
I, uh, want to thank everybody for comin'.
[snoring]
[instrumental music]
♪ I've seen unsung heroes ♪
♪ Of what reminds youmen ♪
♪ I've known schemers I've known dreamers ♪
♪ I've met the very best ♪
[indistinct chatter]
Uh, Mary Ann?
[Egg humming tune]
[horn blowing]
Thank you.
Now...
In honor of our very special guest, Mr. Chong Freen
of the Charter Bank of Nantucket...
...who assures me that the Beckerstead Estates
are only weeks away from the start of construction.
I will allow Mr. Freen...
...the honors.
Thank you.
[applauding]
Did you bring me my popcorn?
[instrumental music]
[Egg humming tune]
[grunting]
Well, thank you very much. I think I will have a cookie.
[grunting]
[phone ringing]
Hello.
[female #6 on big screen] Michael?
- Hi. Cookie? - Teddy?
Yeah, this is Ty.
Ty? What's up?
She's doin' what?
Stay right there.
No, Ty, stay right there, you idiot!
[Egg screams]
[Egg screaming]
[people screaming]
[explosions]
[screaming continues]
A really nice party.
That's a hearty appetite.
Let's get out of here.
Let's go to the point and watch the moon rise.
I don't know, Cookie, I was kind of enjoying
this fine feature film and...
[male #4 on big screen] I never touched her!
You touched my girlfriend, didn't you?
No! No!
I knew I'd find you at the drive-in.
[male #4] No! No! Please!
Well, I guess you don't get to see the moon rise very often.
[engine revving]
[George] Egg.
Egg?
Egg, I'm about to teach you a very valuable lesson.
[engine revving]
In an emergency situation the victims cannot
and must not be allowed to think for themselves.
The shock and the horror of-of what just happened
will surely impair their judgment.
You must do the thinking in order to save them.
In this case, a plane has just
crash-landed on this point.
Now, there are gonna be bodies everywhere...
...just gushing blood and their faces
they're gonna be just pulled right off of their heads
and armpits will be hanging from trees.
Their eyeballs are gonna be sticking out of their heads.
and you're gonna have to, just push them back in
with a-a stick or something, and...
Now, remember
you are the only thing that will stand between life and death.
Now... let's do it!
[boy #1] Come on, let's go! Hurry up!
[indistinct chatter]
Dad, I really wish we could discuss this.
There's nothing to discuss, Ack Ack.
I want you packed and out of the house by 0800 hours.
My home is not a den for cowards
who will not serve in the armed forces.
Yes, sir.
There's a beautiful clearing just up ahead.
Listen, Cookie, I want to know if maybe you can help out...
[children] Save him!
[screaming]
Hoops, what are you doing?
Cookie, for God's sake, help me!
Save her!
[instrumental music]
I don't know, Teddy. We followed them up this far.
Goodness knows what they came up here to do.
[Steppenwolf singing "Born To Be Wild"]
♪ Get your motor runnin' ♪
[engine revving]
♪ Head out on the highway ♪
[screams]
Cookie, what are you doing here?
- They're chasing me! - Who's chasing you?
McCann and his weird friends.
♪ Yeah darlin' go make it happen ♪
♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪
♪ Fire all of your guns at once ♪
- George! Stop! - Jesus!
Go, George, get out of here! Go!
[children clamoring]
♪ Heavy metal thunder ♪
♪ Racin' with the wind ♪
[Egg] It's just a costume!
You little jerks!
Get out of the way!
♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪
♪ Fire all of your guns at once ♪
Great, we missed her.
- Hi, guys. - Hi, Ack.
[engine revving]
[Egg screaming]
Get me out of this! Come on!
[incoherent screaming]
We got to call Hoops!
Teddy left the, Teddy left the party.
Good work, buddy.
[screaming] Hi!
I'm gonna kill you, after I kill this guy.
Hundred bucks says you don't.
[instrumental music]
What?
[together in unison] A 100 bucks says you don't.
What are you talkin' about?
Well, I'm sure that you can beat him up.
He's smaller than you are.
- That never stood in my way... - I'll bet you a $100.
Even though he's smaller than you, that he's a better athlete.
Say at a sport like basketball?
What are you doin'?
Wait a minute, this wimp? Give me a break.
- Are you in or out? - Please don't do this.
I'm begging you.
You must be high.
- Is she high, Ty? - High, Ted.
In or out?
Alright, let's go.
Uh, darn, no net. Uh, can't play.
Maybe we could work this out some other way.
We could play water polo.
I could get some horses.
[instrumental music]
[Ack Ack] Uh-uh.
Make a hoop.
[laughing]
- Alright. - Alright.
Lucky-lucky shot!
[all laughing]
[all applauding]
Okay. Here you go.
- Okay, Hoops, come on. - Come on, Hoops.
Come on.
[chuckling]
[blowing a raspberry]
Okay, now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get back
to the task of beating the shit out of these guys.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Why not? What do you know? Karate?
No. I know Dow.
What is Dow?
Dow is the chemical company that makes Mace.
[screaming]
[instrumental music]
[Egg screaming]
[Hoops] Cassandra, wait up a minute.
Come on!
I'm really sorry about that. I-I mean...
Thanks for savin' us.
It's no big deal, McCann. I guess we're even.
- Now? - No, not yet. Be patient.
- Wait, wait. - Now?
O-okay.
Eh, hello, ladies.
I am here for your daughters.
[screams]
So, uh, you finally told the Fuhrer no, huh?
How'd it go?
He threw me out.
Don't worry about it, man, you can stay
at my grandmother's house.
She's got plenty of room and, uh, reasonable rates...
...if you're not in the family.
Thanks, George.
You can throw your stuff in my Uncle Frank's room.
He'll never know.
- Hey, Hoops. - Yeah.
Did you ever notice people die in alphabetical order?
Come on, cheer up, McCann.
She's not the only girl on the island, man.
There's plenty of them to be found.
Ooh.
I like that one.
Go for it, dude. Go, go, go, go!
Whoa. Excuse me, fellas.
[music on stereo player]
Hey, how you doin'? Here you go.
- Hi. - Hi, Hoops.
- How're you doing? - Fine.
- Look, Cassandra... - Ah, here you go.
I wanted to apologize. I...
I never should've said I was a basketball player.
I shouldn't have lied. I'm sorry.
You know, I really am a pretty decent artist.
And if I could help you in any way
I'd like to make it up to you.
- You really wanna help me? - Yeah.
Buy a ticket.
Hi, how are you doin'?
Here you go.
[Beach Boys singing "Fun Fun Fun"]
♪ Fun fun fun ♪
♪ Till her daddy takes her T-bird away ♪
[groaning]
♪ Fun fun fun till her daddy takes her T-bird away ♪
We are from the planet of the toes
and we bring you...
[screams]
And we bring you produce.
Hi, fellas.
- Hi, Hoops. - Hi, Hoops.
Hi, Hoops.
A giant dolphin with rabies.
[male #5] Turn it around. Turn it around. Open it up.
About as believable as Superman.
[screaming]
Whoa.
God, they sure can do incredible things
in movies nowadays, can't they?
Yeah.
Ha! Good idea. I've got it. Fellas, up! Up! Up!
Stork twins, bring that camera.
[upbeat music]
No! No, no, please!
Please!
Hey, guys, what about George?
[together in unison] George!
[indistinct chatter]
I am your superior!
[music continues]
[Eurythmics singing "Would I Lie To You"]
♪ Would I lie to you ♪ ♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Would I lie to you ♪ ♪ Oh no no no ♪
♪ Now would I say something that wasn't true ♪
♪ I'm asking you sugar would I li-ie to you ♪
♪ My friends know what's in store ♪
♪ I won't be here anymore ♪
♪ I've packed my bags I've cleaned the floor ♪
[on big screen] Satanic hemorrhoids from hell.
We must stop them before they kill again!
Doctor, no! You can't go in there.
[indistinct] save the whole free world.
[indistinct clamoring]
♪ Would I lie to you honey ♪ ♪ Honey would I lie ♪
♪ Now would I say something that wasn't true ♪
♪ I'm asking you sugar Would I li-ie to you ♪
[screaming]
Thank you very much. I hope to see you at the show.
♪ How long I can take ♪
♪ Now I'm leaving you you you ♪
[music continues]
♪ Hey yeah ♪
♪ I'll make it make it ♪
♪ Oh yes I will ♪
[siren blaring]
♪ I'll make it make it ♪
♪ Believe me I'll make it make it ♪
♪ Would I lie to you ♪
♪ I'll make it make it ♪ ♪ Would I lie to you honey ♪
♪ Ah-ha ♪
♪ Now would I say something that wasn't true ♪
[male #2 on radio] Weather for the Cape and the islands
looks like we can expect some rain
but nothing to worry about.
Nantucket's big news tonight is Cassandra Eldridge
live at the Dew Drop Inn.
Come on, come on, come one, come on.
[male #2] Well, good luck to her and good luck to you
in our $1 million summer.
It could happen at any minute.
- You could win $1 million. - Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Stand still, Teddy.
Come on, dad, I gotta do my laps.
I have not yet mastered this contraption.
When I have, then you may continue your laps.
Damn it.
Do you know who this is, Ted?
- No. - That... is trouble.
That is the girl that just might ruin
my restaurant on the bluff.
She's singing
or something tomorrow night.
If people do actually show up to hear her
she might make some money.
She might make enough to pay back the bank.
What are we going to do about it, Ted? Hm?
Uh, stop her from singing?
Good, Teddy. Good.
[doorbell ringing]
Get it.
W-we're here to pick up your father's Jag.
H-he called us. We will need the keys.
Ha!
Ow.
- Get rid of this. - Okay.
Come on.
[instrumental music]
[male #2 on radio] In sports, we've got the Nantucket Regatta coming up.
and Cape Cod's own Mr. Congeniality...
- Hi, guys. - Hi, Ack Ack.
- How you doin'? - Well... that's the last of it.
I'm history.
I just wish I could make my father understand.
Hey, Ack...
...I understand.
- You do? - Uh-huh.
Let me tell you a story...
...about a little fat boy... that nobody loved
and then all the other kids, they used to make fun of him...
...and they would pick on him.
And they, and they, and then they used to say
that he talked funny and stuff.
And he had a, and he had a twin brother
and everybody, a-a-and everybody said
that he didn't look anything like his twin brother.
B-but he wanted to.
Egg...
Were you the little fat boy?
No. No.
B-but I used to like to beat him up, you know?
I'd grab him and go, "Why are you so fat?"
"Why are you so fat?" and I'd beat the shit out of him.
[grunts]
Isn't that a great story?
Yeah. Thanks.
- Are you a little nervous? - Uh-unh.
- No? - Nobody's gonna show up.
Come on, everybody's gonna show up.
It's the greatest media blitz in the history of Nantucket.
It's gonna be great and I don't wanna hear another word.
What about Beckerstead? Do you think he's gonna pull something?
It's covered, okay? I promise you.
You just relax and have a good time
'cause you're gonna be great.
I know you are. Okay? trust me.
Hoops...
I just, um, want to tell you...
I guess I know what you mean.
- Hoops? - Yeah. Got to run.
See you at the club.
[instrumental music]
[Ack Ack] This one's for Cassandra.
[explosion]
[dramatic music]
Go! Go! Go!
[engine revving]
Hey!
Ha!
[music continues]
[Egg shouting]
[Beckersted] Teddy!
Don't forget about tonight!
Dad, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go.
I'll go after I do my laps!
[Beckersted] Thank you, Teddy!
[snapping]
Ah! Have a nice swim.
[blowing a raspberry]
[dramatic music]
Come on in!
Come on in, Cookie wookie wookie...
[chuckling]
Ow!
Ow! Ahh!
Cookie, help!
- Teddy, what's wrong? - Ow! Ow!
Come here!
[screaming]
[both screaming]
[laughing]
[both screaming]
[screaming]
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
♪ Your sittin' all alone and feelin' blue ♪
♪ The whole damn world's comin' down on you ♪
♪ They want your body and they want your soul ♪
♪ And they won't even give you any rock and roll ♪
♪ Your friends will tell you that you're wastin' time ♪
♪ Just shut the door and leave it all behind ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ We're nation for today ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Let it all just fade away ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ You can leave it all behind ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Baby don't look back ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Baby don't look back ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ You're simply waitin' for your time to come ♪
♪ The beat goes on waitin' for no one ♪
♪ You gotta get it up and do it now ♪
♪ If you want me too I can show you how ♪
♪ The situation's really killin' you ♪
♪ You gotta make a move and follow through ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ We're nation for today ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Let it all just fade away ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ You can leave it all behind ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Baby don't look back ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ We're nation for today ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Let it all just fade away ♪
[screaming]
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ You can leave it all behind ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Baby don't look back ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ We're nation for today ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ Let it all just fade away ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ You can leave it all behind ♪
♪ Don't look back don't look back ♪
♪ Baby don't look back ♪
[audience applauding]
[all cheering]
Ow!
[cheering and applause]
What?
I'm sorry, miss.
But I'm afraid all the money in the world
isn't going to get you that house.
But it's my house and that's the money that I owe you.
[John] I understand, miss.
The problem is Mr. Beckersted has bought the mortgage
from the bank and he can
foreclose anytime he wants.
- You gave me until today. - I am sorry.
But the bank was as lenient as it could be
for as long as it could be.
What about those people? That's their home!
How could you sell it to him?
Mr. Beckersted is a lot wealthier than you.
[instrumental music]
[Hoops] What's goin' on?
What happened?
[hammering]
What does it matter? The house is theirs.
[Beckersted] That's right.
And get this ugly mutt
off my property.
[yelping]
Boscoe!
[bell ringing]
[female #7] Dr. Bolson to ER.
Dr. Bolson
[dog barking]
[sobbing]
Squid, it's okay. Boscoe's gonna be just fine.
I don't know, they've been in there a while.
I think I smell gas too.
Cassandra, are you really gonna leave?
Why should I stay? There's nothing left here for me.
[dogs barking]
How can you say that?
I mean, come on! How can you say that?
What about the house? What about all those people?
We're just gonna give them to the Beckersteds?
I mean we can't let those people walk away with everything.
I mean, if we give in to those people
we're giving in to all the cute
and fuzzy bunnies in the world.
Yeah, yeah, that's just what I was thinking.
[Hoops] Wh-what I mean is, we-we can't give up.
Gotta think of a plan.
Plan, plan...
Without a plan, there's no attack.
Without attack, no victory.
Where have I heard that before?
A plan... Oh, boy, I've got a plan.
Acky's got a plan. What is it?
- The regatta. - The regatta?
You know, the, the regatta. The, the-the sailing boat race.
The one boat rowing, sailing, motoring regatta
around Nantucket.
Your planning involves a boat?
But Teddy's gonna win it.
He wins every year. Everybody knows that.
Exactly, but what happens if he doesn't win?
Well, his grandfather takes away
everything he and his father own.
Basically making his life as dreary as ours.
Poor guys.
- And? - So, we win the race.
He can't live without the trophy.
We can't live without the house.
We make a trade.
Great, Ack Ack. There's just one thing missing.
[all] The boat.
The boat!
Sh-she's in really good shape.
Mind you, she could use a little help.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[Cassandra] George?
[cheering]
I'd like to welcome you all to the christening of the boat.
And for this gala occasion
I got a little somethin'
that my parents brought me back
from their trip to France.
I've been saving it for a special occasion.
I think this is it.
- Ohh! - Whoa! Ooh.
Oh!
That's really nice!
Cassandra, would you do the honors?
- Hey! - Yeah.
[screaming]
To the boat?
[all] To the boat!
[screams]
We'll just patch that up.
[Hoops] We'll fix that later.
[Clay] Well, listen, Hoops
here's a little something from all of us
to-to all of you.
What? For me?
What is it?
Oh, man! Thank you!
What is this for? What do you...
Well, a captain has to have his captain hat.
[Hoops] Ah, I can't accept this.
Acky, why don't you be captain? This was your idea.
This has been decided, Hoops.
You're the man for the job.
I can't be captain. I'm not even gonna be on the boat.
I'm gonna be on the land. I'm sorry, fellas.
Uh, Hoops?
Uh, what do you guys say we have a look at the engine, huh?
- Yeah. - Sure, that'll be great.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
I just don't like boats.
I hate boats!
Since I was a kid I don't like boats.
Maybe you just haven't had the right kind of
experience on a boat.
Maybe you're right.
[both laughing]
[indistinct chatter]
Well, then, I mean, that's it, boys.
I don't know, guys, we gotta have an engine
for part of this race.
[bell ringing]
I'll get it.
I mean most of those guys are gonna have you know
like Evinrudes and Mercuries. Heavy stuff.
I don't think this puppy's gonna cut the mustard.
Well, that's like the best
my dad had, you know?
Hey! What happened?
T-Teddy brought his car in for a tune up.
Did he hit you?
[dramatic music]
[buzzing]
[screaming] A-a-h!
[music continues]
[Martha and the Vandella singing "Dancing In The Street"]
One, two, three, four!
♪ Calling out around the world ♪
♪ Are you ready for a brand new beat ♪
♪ Summer's here and the time is right ♪
♪ For dancing in the streets ♪
♪ They're dancing in Chicago ♪
What the hell is that?
♪ In New York City ♪
♪ All we need is music sweet music ♪
♪ There'll be music everywhere ♪
♪ They'll be swinging swaying and records playing ♪
♪ Dancing in the street oh ♪
♪ It doesn't matter what you wear ♪
Hiya, Ted.
How you doin'?
McCann...
[blowing a raspberry]
[grunting]
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the Nantucket Regatta.
[crowd cheering]
Part of the regatta will test
your strength and stamina.
On this line, you will...
You...
You will not...
Get down! Come here.
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Come on, save it for the race.
- Acky! - Save it for the race!
There, you will drop your sails
and start your engines for the final stretch
back into Nantucket Harbor.
Now... if everyone is ready.
[gunshot]
[crowd cheering]
[screaming]
Go!
Don't stop, come on!
[male #6] Go! Go!
Go, go, go, go!
- Hey, Egg! - What?
Tito Ramirez is wrestling
Mr. Congeniality in a half hour.
[screaming]
Teddy says Mr. Congeniality doesn't have a chance.
[screaming]
Go! Come on!
Go! Go!
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
Come on, guys! They're gaining on us.
[music continues]
We'll take care of this right now!
Dad? Oh, shit!
You just steer the boat, you stupid, imbecilic retard!
You're not my son!
I knew I couldn't trust you to do this without me.
What are you doin'?
First, we just take out that halyard.
This race is yours!
Aw, come on, dad. I can win.
Shut your mouth, Teddy!
That's an order.
[music continues]
Shit, what happened?
Now... you may proceed.
The halyard snapped.
Aye! It cou-couldn't have just snapped.
Look...
You bastards!
Fix that Australian boat.
Well, there-there goes Cassandra's house.
Well, that's that.
Come on, we can't quit! We gotta do somethin'. Think!
But we gotta get the halyard back up there
through the halyard holder.
We can't do that out here!
We're not dead yet!
[music continues]
Man, we're gettin', we're gettin' smoked!
What are you doin', Hoops?
Desperation move!
[music continues]
[whirring]
- Wow! - Two points!
[yowling]
[cheering]
[music continues]
- Ty! Take out the main sheet! - Yeah!
Come on!
Yeah, go, go!
[screaming]
Fly!
[yowling]
Man overboard!
Jesus! Drop the sail, fellas.
Acky!
- God! - Ack!
Hold on, buddy. We'll be there in a minute.
[Teddy] Alright!
[music continues]
Acky!
Go on! I got him!
Are you sure?
I got him. Beat it.
Go! Let's do it.
Go get those scum, mates!
Come to me. Help me, boys!
Check this out.
I don't believe it!
Aloha! We're back!
How are ya? Ha-ha!
Teddy, get this thing going faster.
Aw, come on, dad. The wind's dying down.
We're almost to the engine buoy.
I'm not taking any chances.
Dad, damn it. Why don't you ever listen to me?
I can win!
The only way to win, Theodore, is to cheat.
Remember.
A little hole in their hull will slow them down just enough.
Oh my God, he's lost his mind. Get down!
Oh!
What the hell is that?
[Beckersted] Teddy! Come back here!
Come back here, right now, boy!
- Teddy! - Oh my God.
- Teddy... - A giant dolphin with rabies.
[Beckersted] Come back here!
Teddy!
Theodore!
Teddy!
Come back here!
Help me!
[screaming]
No! Teddy!
Uh, come on, guys, the wind's coming up.
Let's set sail, let's get outta here.
[Beckersted] Oh, boy, if I ever get outta this.
I'm gonna make you into a stew.
Help me...
...somebody!
[cheering]
[Beckersted] Somebody help me!
[Beckersted wailing]
[music continues]
Alright! There's the engine buoy!
[yowling]
There's the bouy! There's the bouy! Ahh!
Yeah!
- Come on, let's go! - Alright!
Come on, let's get outta here.
Hustle it down!
Come on. Move it, move it, move it!
Come on, ladies!
Let's go!
Alright!
[Teddy yowling]
Let's get out of here.
[Teddy] Alright, start up the engine!
Good luck trying to beat a Merc with a lawnmower engine.
[laughing]
[engine revving]
[music continues]
Alright, come on!
Gentlemen! Prepare to blow the hatch!
Whoo!
[engine revving]
Gentlemen, I am blowing the hatch!
[explosion]
[all screaming]
[engine revving]
[all cheering]
[music continues]
Come on, Teddy! Step on it, man.
I got her at full throttle, she doesn't have anymore.
What the hell have they got in that thing?
My car.
Thank you very much. Bye bye.
[Ack Ack] Bye-bye. See you later!
Woo-hoo!
[cheering]
[Egg screaming]
[all cheering]
I'd like to thank everyone that made this possible!
[cheering]
Hey, Cookie.
Why don't we quit playing all these games?
[cheering continues]
[Clay] Yes! Ah, look what I caught!
How you doing? Are you hurt?
Squid, Squid, look at that.
[Boscoe barking]
Boscoe!
[whimpering]
[music continues]
- Thanks again, mate. - You're welcome.
I heard what you did, Ack Ack.
It's all over the island.
You're a hero.
And I'm proud of ya, son!
Damn proud!
I want you to... come home.
Does this mean I have to give back the bazooka?
Well...
let's talk about it over a hot chocolate.
[clapping]
[Hoops] Hey, Teddy!
What do you say me and you, we make a little deal?
You need the trophy and we need the house.
And everybody's happy. Come on, Ted.
Okay.
You're only half right, McCann.
That house isn't gonna do you or your father any good.
I'm not gonna put a dime in the Beckersted Estates.
This is the real investment, Teddy.
Friendship! Here's your house back!
Thank you so much!
The little lady has quite a voice.
Come on, Teddy.
Ow!
[instrumental music]
[Hoops] Once upon a time, there was a happy guy
that love finally found.
And this time, love didn't pass him by.
Old boy finally caught a break!
This love story lasted all summer long.
And there was nothing even the cute
and fuzzy bunnies could do about it.
Thank you.
[jabbering]
There's a bomb, there's a bomb!
Come on, get up, get up, come on.
[screaming]
[instrumental music]
[tweeting]
[male #3 on radio] 95.5 FM...
Music-money time.
This is it, we're looking for caller number 50!
Good luck!
[male #2 on radio] You're on the air!
- Hello? - Hello!
Hello. This is the contest at the radio station?
[male #2 on radio] I hope you're sitting down
because you won $1 million dollars!
Jesus Christ, I won!
- Oh, thank you so much! - It's all yours!
This changes everything for me. Look.
You don't know anything! I deserve this.
I've been sitting, waiting, day after day...
[male #2 on phone] What are you gonna do with it?
Waiting for your lousy song!
And now I've gotten through! I feel so lucky!
I feel so, so blessed! So powerful!
- God, I won! - Congratulations!
[dial tone]
- Hello? - Hello!
- Hello, hello, hello, hello? - No!
[male #2 on radio] Ah, we seem to be cut off here
so, let's take another caller.
Hello, you're on the air.
[female #8] Did I win?
- You sure did! - Ahh!
[male #2 on radio] You better believe it, lady.
One million dollars is all yours.
[woman screaming] I can't believe it!
Alright, it's certainly been a
great summer for ya, isn't it?
[female #8] Unbelievable!
Oh, just a second, there's a...
There's a rocket coming in here.
[female #8] A what? A-a rocket?
- Oh. my... - Wait!
- What about my money? - God!
[female #8] Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?
[Honeymoon Suite singing "What Does It Take"]
♪ If I could grow wings ♪
♪ I would do anything ♪
Clay, Clay, look!
A bonfire! Whoo!
♪ Can't you see ♪
Get the marshmallows!
[screaming]
Thank you so much.
♪ I would give you the sky ♪
♪ Don't you make that mistake ♪
[screaming]
♪ What does it take ♪
♪ It's not like I've been mean to you ♪
♪ It's not like I've got something better to do ♪
♪ The life I live you'll never understand ♪
♪ If you fly with me we'd never have to land ♪
♪ It's easy to live hard and fast ♪
♪ But inside we know it won't last ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ If I could grow wings I would do anything ♪
♪ Just to keep you with me ♪
♪ Can't you see ♪
♪ If I could fly high I would give you the sky ♪
♪ Don't you make that mistake ♪
♪ It's your love that I need ♪
♪ What does it take ♪
[music continues]
♪ Knowing how both of us live ♪
♪ Leaves us so little to give ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ If I could grow wings I would do anything ♪
♪ Just to keep you with me ♪
♪ Can't you see ♪
♪ If I could fly high I would give you the sky ♪
♪ Don't you make that mistake ♪
♪ What does it take ♪
♪ If I could grow wings I would do anything ♪
♪ Just to keep you with me ♪
♪ Can't you see ♪
♪ If I could fly high I would give you the sky ♪
♪ Don't you make that mistake ♪
♪ What does it take ♪
♪ Knowing how both of us live ♪
♪ Leaves us so little to give ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ If I could fly high I would give you the sky ♪
♪ Don't you make that mistake ♪
♪ What does it take ♪
♪ It's not like I've been mean to you ♪
♪ It's not like I've got something better to do ♪
♪ The life I live you'll never understand ♪
♪ If you fly with me ♪
♪ We'd never have to land ♪
♪ It's easy to live hard and fast ♪
♪ But inside we know it won't last ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ If I could grow wings I would do anything ♪
♪ Just to keep you with me ♪
♪ Can't you see ♪
♪ If I could grow wings I would do anything ♪
♪ Just to keep you with me ♪
♪ Can't you see ♪
♪ If I could fly high I would give you the sky... ♪