[theme music]
♪ What ever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get
to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪♪
Wish daddy luck, honey.
It's a big night.
Daddy's getting a tryout
as color man for the big fight.
Cable TV.
Nationwide.
Yes, I see
how impressed you are.
Oh.
There you go.
Dada.
Michelle, I'd love
to give you a hug
but 20 million people
will be watching me
and I'd just as soon
them not see
your cookies on my shoulder.
Ohh.
Do you promise
everything inside of you
is gonna stay inside of you?
[gurgling]
Okay.
[burp]
That's a preview, isn't it?
Okay. Baby dribble guard.
Come here.
[singing]
Ah, cool. Yes. Alright. Alright.
[clears throat]
May I help you?
Well, Jesse, what do you think?
You plan on burping
one of the boxers?
A good sportscaster
is ready for anything.
Very nice. Alright,
listen, I picked up
the perfect tune
for the lyrics here.
This is really cool.
Listen to this song.
♪ You left me for another ♪
♪ Walked right out the door ♪
♪ I thought that you loved me ♪
♪ What good is my heart for ♪
♪ On top of old Smokey ♪
♪ All covered with snow ♪
You realize
there are only seven notes.
Oh, Beethoven was right
when he said
"It don't come easy."
Beethoven said,
"It don't come easy?"
Well, he said it
in German, you know.
Alright, Danny, I'm ready.
I want you. Poof!
I want you. Poof poof!
Second round, you goin' down.
Poof poof poof poof!
Sorry, I'll-I'll behave.
You are such a baby.
Long-haired hippie punk.
Danny, I got to tell you,
I am so proud of you.
Ever since
you were sports editor
of our high school newspaper..
...you had that dream.
The one about Sharon Campbell?
No, not that dream.
Every guy in high school
had that dream.
No, I mean your dream about
making it as a sportscaster.
Tonight, you go from local news
to coast-to-coast.
Knock 'em dead.
Thanks. And your dream
about being a comic?
I promise you, one day
I won't be the only one
who thinks you're funny.
We got it! Hold on.
Don't go yet.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
We got you some stuff
for you for good luck.
- Guess what this is.
- A tie.
Steph, you knew.
Oh, yeah.
Daddy, now you guess.
I-I give up.
It's a tie, remember?
Aw.
Oh ho ho! A tie!
I'm so surprised.
This is beautiful.
I'm gonna wear this tonight.
I got you a surprise,
too, daddy.
Oh, I love surprises.
Oh, this is great.
Thank you for the, um..
This is great.
That's the most beautiful
one of those I've ever seen.
Try it on, daddy.
Of course, I'm gonna try it on.
Oh, uh..
Isn't that a cool
tie tack, dad?
God bless you.
Steph, I love this.
- Thank you, girls.
- You're welcome.
Alright, I finally got it.
This baby is hit-bound.
Listen to this.
[clears throat]
♪ You left me for another ♪
♪ Walked right out the door ♪
♪ I thought that you loved me ♪
♪ What good is my heart for ♪
♪ This land is your land ♪
♪ This land is my land ♪
♪ From California ♪
♪ To the New York island ♪
Everybody, sing along.
♪ From the Redwood forests ♪
♪ To the gulfstream waters ♪♪
Alright, coming right up,
girls. Get some snacks first.
Hurry up. Dad's almost on.
We're gonna watch
him in our room.
Alright.
- Don't forget the ice-cream.
- Okay.
Right.
Got it.
- 'And the bowls and spoons!'
- Bowls and spoons.
How can you eat ice-cream
without bowls and spoons?
Alright.
'And licorice!'
Licorice.
Alright.
Licorice.
'Red licorice!'
Got it.
'And fruit!'
Fruit.
Okay.
Get some fruit.
- Huh.
- 'And milk.'
Some milk.
Got it.
'Don't forget to shut the door!'
Shut the door.
The licorice and the milk.
'And we need peanut butter'
'and jelly and bread
and carrots.'
[panting]
Alright, girls. This oughta get
us through the first two rounds.
Uncle Jesse,
we changed our minds.
We're gonna watch
the fight downstairs.
Freeze, ankle-biters.
This is as far as your
Uncle Lunch Wagon goes.
Ooh, it's Uncle Bad Attitude.
I guess
this is a bad time to mention
you forgot the carrots.
Yes, bad time.
Help me out here.
- Come on, grab that.
- Jess, quick.
- I need you in the nursery.
- Okay.
Let me give you
a hand with this.
Thanks.
What is happening to my life?
Michelle, please don't be sick.
Alright, what's the problem?
I heard Michelle cough.
[sighs]
Here. Kid, you okay?
She's cool.
It's time.
Daddy's gonna be on
right after
the underarm commercial.
Alright. We're coming.
Jess, I didn't like
the sound of that cough.
We should bring Michelle
with us.
Joey, you got to realize,
babies cough, man.
Babies dribble, babies barf.
I think of them
as little tiny teenagers.
Come on, Michelle. Come on.
Come on, pal.
You okay?
[Michelle coughs]
You girls ever hear
that cough before?
It sounds like a hair ball.
Come on, Steph.
Babies don't get hair..
Do babies get hair balls?
(man on TV)
'And now,
live from San Francisco'
'a special boxing presentation.'
'Here's Danny Tanner.'
- Yay!
Good evening, boxing fans.
I'm Danny Tanner.
- There you go, come on.
- I'm Danny Tanner.
- Back up, back up. You got him.
- I am Danny Tanner.
Now, I'm really Danny Tanner
and welcome to tonight's fight.
We're in the training room
of former heavyweight champion
of the world,
Reggie "The Sandman" Martin.
Only moments away
from the Sandman's first attempt
on the comeback trail to reclaim
his heavyweight crown.
And here he is now.
Well, champ, how you feeling?
I feel good! I feel strong!
I feel like
hittin' somebody. Huh!
But not me, right?
That depends on the question.
Okay, no pressure here.
Well, champ, the obvious
question...why the comeback?
You've got plenty
of money in the bank.
Heck, you own a bank.
You've been retired
for two years. What is it?
Do you miss wearing the shorts?
- No, no, you see--
- It's pride.
It's pride and respect.
The champ wants to go down
as the greatest fighter
in the history of boxing.
Are you sure
it's not the $6 million?
Okay. I miss wearing the shorts.
My tie tack!
- Yay!
I know why I'm wearing the cup.
But, now, why are you
wearing a saucer?
Oh, this? This is a gift
from my daughter Stephanie.
And the tie is a gift
from my daughter DJ.
And I have a little baby
Michelle, too.
But you can't wear her gifts.
- Yay!
You probably haven't seen
much of your family
during these three months
of training.
Yeah. Lou runs
a pretty tough camp.
The toughest.
Total isolation!
Just me, the Sandman,
and misery.
[laughs]
No phone calls
no women, no nothing.
Look, I-I'm sorry
about that, Marcie.
How you feeling, honey?
I think it's wonderful
that you and your wife
are still good friends,
considering..
Yeah.
Considering what?
- You know--
- Yeah, right, champ.
Just loosen up, baby, loosen up.
Hey, hey, hey.
The man said "considering."
Considering what?
Uh, considering what happened.
Loosen up, champ, huh?
Just loosen--
Hey, if I don't get
some information
I'm gonna loosen
somebody's head.
Now, you said, "It's great
we're still friends."
Why wouldn't my wife
and I still be friends?
So, about tonight's fight, um..
- Let's talk strategy.
- Hey, man.
Let's forget
about strategy, um..
All I meant was, usually
when a woman moves out on a man
they stop being friends.
She moved out?
Champ, it's time to fight.
Let's go.
Hey, man, you expect me to fight
when I just found out
my wife walked out on me?
Use it, champ!
Use the anger!
Oh, champ, I'm sorry.
Oh, boy, am I sorry.
I can't believe
you didn't know about this.
You calling me a liar?
Oh, not at all.
Why would I choose those
as my last words?
I..
I just figured since the story
was in the newspapers
and the magazines
and the soon-to-be TV movie.
She left me?
And sold the rights?
Oh, no, Marcie, baby.
No, no, no, baby, no.
It'll be okay, champ,
it-it'll be okay.
You kind of taken the edge
off him, eh, Tanner?
You know, in a way
this is kind
of a beautiful moment.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
And, Sandman..
...best of luck
on tonight's fight.
Fight?
I-I can't fight.
- Come on, champ, you'll fight.
- I can't fight now.
You'll fight, champ. You'll
fight and knock him out, champ.
You're gonna win it.
You're gonna win it, baby.
Why was that man crying?
Well, the man was crying
because, uh..
...because your dad
made him so happy.
I don't think so.
We'll be back,
after this word
from anybody but me.
Now what happens?
Well, two guys beat
each other up
for about 36 minutes,
then they get $6 million.
$6 million?
Forget about being a ballerina.
Ah, maybe you girls shouldn't
be watching all this violence.
Joey's right, Steph.
Let's go watch
reruns of the "A-Team."
[Michelle coughs]
You hear that?
She coughed again.
This cough is getting serious.
I'll think of something.
- What are you doing?
- Calling the baby's doctor.
Good. I knew
I'd think of something.
Here.
Hello, Dr. Landress?
You're home?
You answer your own phone?
Are you any good?
Yeah, I'm calling
about Michelle Tanner.
She's, um, she's coughing.
Hold on, doc.
He wants to know
what kind of cough.
What do you mean, what kind of..
It's a little baby's cough
like, you know, like, eh-eh.
- Like that.
- No.
Doc, I do impressions
for a living.
It was more like, uh, ah-eh.
Give me the phone.
I'm sorry. We're new parents.
Alright. Come here.
Listen to Michelle cough.
There you go.
Cough, Michelle.
Come on, cough. Come on.
It's just like when you
take your car to the mechanic.
It never makes that same noise.
Alright.
Her nose? Yeah, it's running
like a fountain.
What's coming out of it?
Diet cola.
Fever? I don't know.
Of course, I know how
to take her temperature.
You simply put
the thermometer under her ton..
I put it where?
Joey, it's for you.
To the left and tilt down
to the right.
Normal! No temperature.
High five, Michelle.
High five, high five.
High five. Alright.
Okay, well, doctor said
no fever means it's a cold
'and we should give
her the medicine'
that he prescribed
for the last cold.
Okay, we got strawberry mousse
apricot conditioner..
...honey-nut rinse.
Can you believe
these girls put all this
dumb junk in their hair?
It's mine.
'Would you look at that?'
Alright, here it is.
"Michelle Tanner, half a
teaspoon. 4 times a day."
- Remember that.
- Alright, alright.
- Give me that. Give me that.
- Okay.
The fight's over. They said
dad will be back on
after these important messages.
Okay.
What are you doing to Michelle?
We're giving your sister
some medicine.
That's not the way
daddy does it.
Stephanie..
Alright, here you go, Michelle.
[Michelle coos]
Joey, duck!
Well, so much for cough syrup
and pureed chicken.
I told you it wouldn't work.
You never serve red cough syrup
with poultry.
By the way, if I'm ever sick..
...dial 911.
Daddy's on!
Okay. Come on.
Well, fans, you saw it.
A minute 17
into the second round
Reggie "The Sandman" Martin
was KO'd.
'He may have been
a little off tonight.'
That happens.
But I don't think
the blame should be laid
at anybody's feet.
I mean anybody.
Am I being clear?
A blameless defeat.
Hey, Tanner!
How does it feel
to have personally dealt
a crushing blow
to a man's career?
Are you talking
about The Sandman's or my own?
Hey, tell me, do you have
some sort of personal grudge
against the Sandman?
Not at all, the Sandman and I
have always had
a very warm
and cordial relationship.
I want him! I want him!
I want Danny Tanner!
I want him! I want him!
Can't you just feel the love?
- Ooh.
Walk with me..
...as I apologize..
...to the Sandman.
Sandman, I am really
very, very sorry.
It's okay.
It's not your fault.
At least somebody had the guts
to tell me about my wife.
Say..
...you wouldn't happen to know
why she left me, would you?
Well, maybe not seeing your wife
for three or four months
resulted in a teensy loss
of intimacy.
It's okay, champ.
We don't need her.
It's this "we" stuff.
It's this "we" stuff
that got me in trouble.
You talked me
out of of retirement
because you needed the money.
Now, you knew about my wife
all the time, didn't you?
Well, I kind of got an inkling
when I saw the cover story
in "Sports Illustrated."
Look, Marcie-Marcie, honey
I-I'm gonna give up boxing
for good, baby.
I'm gonna to find you,
I'm gonna beg for forgiveness.
I'm gonna win you back
'cause I love you, baby.
Lou..
...you're fired.
Tanner, this whole thing
is your fault!
[groans]
Thanks, Stephanie.
You're welcome, daddy.
Didn't daddy do great?
- Oh, he was good.
- Oh, yeah.
Your dad was really, really
quite good this evening.
Yeah, girls, nobody can take
a punch like your father.
Can we stay up
till daddy gets home?
No, no, no, girls. Go to sleep.
Come on, get some rest.
Tomorrow we may have to move
to a civilization
without television, go.
- Goodnight!
- Goodnight.
[sighs]
Alright, Joey, you try
to give her her medicine.
I give up.
Okay, Michelle.
Here it comes.
Mmm.
Aw, come on.
It tastes really good.
Watch this.
Mmm.
Smile. The baby's watching you.
Mmm!
And she's waiting
for her Uncle Jesse to swallow.
[gulp]
This stuff's terrible.
But you're not
coughing, are you?
Alright, enough
of this nonsense.
That's it, Michelle.
Enough fooling around.
This is the last teaspoon
of medicine.
You're gonna drink it.
You're gonna feel better.
And you're gonna do
it right now.
Come on. Come on.
Right now. Come on.
See? Told you.
All we had to do was ask nice.
- Yes!
[sighs]
Danny.
Joey, please..
...don't bother lying to me.
I stunk.
I just want you to know
that Michelle is gonna be fine.
- What?
- Well, she was sick.
- But she's fine now.
- The baby's sick?
Why didn't you say something?
[humming]
Sing along, Michelle.
♪ And beautiful ♪
[gurgling]
Michelle, Michelle,
daddy's here.
Hi.
Jesse, what's wrong with her?
Nothing. She just
had a little cold.
How do you know
it's a little cold?
Well, she had a cough
and a runny nose
but no fever.
She should have fluids.
- Done.
We should call the doctor.
- Done.
Really? Has she had
her cough medicine?
- Done.
Whoa.
How about changing her diaper?
- Goodnight.
Well, the baby's asleep.
Her cold sounds much better.
You guys were
really great tonight.
Yeah, I finally learned
how to take care
of the little kid.
Huh. I'll drink to that.
Alright.
I can't thank you guys enough.
No problem.
I really love that little..
[sneezes]
[coughs]
...germ-spreading phlegm faucet.
You know,
when I came home tonight
I was so down.
But then I heard
Michelle was sick
and it put everything
back into perspective.
I realized
what's really important
is my family..
...and my friends.
So you forgot
all about that..
...nightmare of an interview?
Right up until this very moment
when you were kind enough
to just bring it up again.
- I was horrible!
- Um.
Come on, horrible's
a pretty harsh word.
You were..
- Well, you were horrible.
- Yeah, yeah.
He was horrible.
Isn't this where you guys
are supposed to jump in
with a little pep talk?
I don't know if I got one
in me, Danny. You?
A sick baby and a pep talk?
What am I, a saint?
Ah, come on. I'll get
you started. How about, uh..
"Every cloud
has a silver lining."
Or "The sun will
come out tomorrow."
I'm feeling it.
Pep is welling up.
It's in my stomach.
It's working its way north.
It's in my throat, and...pep!
Danny, nobody's career
goes straight up.
You had one rough night.
There's always bumps
along the way.
This is good. Don't stop.
Then don't interrupt.
The key, Danny..
...is to learn
from all those little bumps
so that you'll be better
prepared for next time.
Because you will
have other chances.
When? I need a date and a time.
Soon.
Because you're good
at what you do.
And you know why?
Because you care about more
than just scores and stats.
You care about people.
Right, Jess?
Yeah, why not?
And in your own...unique way
you helped the Sandman.
People trust you.
They know you're a good guy.
Right, Jess?
Yeah, why not?
Thanks, guys.
My favorite part was when
the manager punched him.
Bluhh! Right in the stomach.
I loved it when
he brought tears
to the Sandman's eyes.
That was nice. That was nice.
But the reporters
outside drilling him
he had beads of sweat
going down his face.
That killed me.
That was funny.
That was good.
You know what I loved?
When I claimed
there was no one to blame.
[laughs]
I loved how bad that was.
[theme music]