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♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
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♪ Ahh ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paper boy evenin' TV ♪
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♪ How did I get
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delivered here ♪
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♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This old world's
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you've ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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who knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell
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your dream so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you go ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you go ♪
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♪ There's a place ♪
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♪ Of somebody
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who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're
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lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin'
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
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♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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[Joey imitating theme music from
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"2001: A Space Odyssey"]
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Is this normal?
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It is for Joey.
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Girls, wait till you hear
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what happened to me today.
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It's amazing.
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It's incredible.
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It's unbelievable!
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- What happened? Tell us!
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- Yeah!
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Right now!
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Can't tell you.
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I hate it when he does that.
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I'll tell you just as soon as
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everyone gets home.
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Oh, boy,
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what a day.
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Come here, girls.
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Give your Uncle J a kiss.
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Very nice.
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Listen, girls, I know
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how much you look up to me
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but no matter how glamorous
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you think my life is
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don't ever kill bugs
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for a living.
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(together)
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Ah.
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Urgh. Joseph.
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Hey, buddy.
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Insect world
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got you down?
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Well, close your eyes
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because I am gonna send you
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to a land of sunshine
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and flowers.
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Smell this.
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Joey, you've been riding in
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the dryer again, haven't you?
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I'm just in a great mood.
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I want to tell you
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what happened
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but I can't yet.
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Uncle Jesse, he's
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driving us crazy.
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Yeah. Make him tell us.
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Okay, Joey.
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- What's up?
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- Can't tell you.
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The man will not crack.
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Hi, girls.
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(together)
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Hi, dad.
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Bye, girls.
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Okay, Joey, we're all here.
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Spill your guts.
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I have been chosen
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as one of the hot
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up-and-coming comics
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to go on a two week,
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16 college tour.
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- Yes!
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- Alright!
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I knew you'd get a job!
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[hissing]
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Oh, the man is hot!
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Well, there's
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only one problem.
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I'm not sure if
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I'm gonna go or not.
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- Joey!
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- Why not?
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(Stephanie)
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'What are you talkin' about?'
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Well, when I moved in here,
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I made a commitment
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to help with the girls and
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cook and clean and do laundry.
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I-I can't just
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take off like that.
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Joey, you have worked too long
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and too hard to pass this up.
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Man, this could be
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your big break.
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You gotta go for it.
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You're going.
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Yeah, but what
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about the kids?
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Both you guys work.
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- We'll go with you.
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- Yeah.
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It's never too early
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to look at colleges.
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Let's get out
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of kindergarten first.
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Well, listen, guys.
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It's simple.
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I will fill in for Joey.
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I'll just take a couple
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weeks off the bug biz.
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- You can do that?
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- Sure.
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I work for my dad.
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Can't fire me 'cause
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my mom won't let him.
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[chuckles]
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You guys sure you can
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get along without me?
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- Yeah, go have some fun.
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- Absolutely.
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- Ha ha ha.
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- Yeah, groovy.
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Great. Ahh.
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Baby, you're
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the greatest.
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[chuckles]
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Thanks, Ralph.
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Girls.
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You touch me,
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the deal's off.
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It's too late.
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I've already started.
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Ah, jeez.
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That's no penguin.
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That's George Bush.
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[laughing on recorder]
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Oh, no. Thank you.
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Thank you, thank you.
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It's wonderful
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to be here at, uh..
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...fill-in-the-blank college.
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Home of the fighting,
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uh, some animal.
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Oh, no. Cut it out, okay?
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Just a little
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confidence builder.
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Oh, some of your finest work.
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[Joey laughing]
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Why don't I go upstairs and work
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on this week's
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basketball blooper reel.
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Joey..
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...there seems to have been
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an explosion in your alcove
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which has hurled
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most of your possessions
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to the four corners
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of the living room.
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[laughing on recorder]
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I'm sorry.
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I love this machine.
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Look, Danny.
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I'll clean up, okay?
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You go work on
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your blooper reel and, uh..
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...I'll get back to
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writing college material.
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'Now get out of here. Go on.'
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[instrumental music on radio]
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Steph, what
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are you doing?
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I'm practicing for
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my next honeybee meeting.
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That's very nice, but
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I'm trying to rehearse.
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Go ahead.
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It won't bother me.
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[instrumental music on radio]
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Hey, Jess, I'm looking
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for a place to rehearse.
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Good luck.
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[guitar music]
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Uncle Jesse, I'm trying
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to do my homework.
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[whispering]
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Sorry.
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Betcha Chuck Berry didn't have
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to live with three nieces.
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[guitar music]
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Michelle.
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Michelle,
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are you busy?
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[Michelle babbles]
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[parrot babbling]
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Sorry, I didn't know
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you had company.
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Sorry, I didn't know
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you had company.
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Good night.
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[laughing on radio]
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Oh.
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Cut it out. You people
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are too much..
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Quit it. Got a..
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Get out of here.
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[laughs]
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And now, ladies and gentlemen
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a dramatic presentation.
240
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A little something
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I like to call
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ode to a fountain.
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Ta-da!
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Joey, that looks so real.
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Every time I see you
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do your fountain act
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I want to throw
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pennies on your face
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and make a wish.
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Well, just wish that I do
251
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that well on the tour.
252
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:01,148
Oh, you'll be great.
253
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:04,401
I finished my homework so you
254
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can rehearse in my room.
255
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,819
But please don't spit on my bed.
256
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,529
Oh, D.J., it's okay.
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The garage really
258
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,282
isn't that bad.
259
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,491
It's freezing.
260
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Ha!
261
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,872
Your wrap, Madame?
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Merci beaucoup.
263
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:21,918
Ooh la la.
264
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,297
I didn't know you kept
265
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your clothes in your car.
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Well, that alcove
267
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is so small.
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But my trunk makes
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a good closet.
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The worst part, D.J.,
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is not having any privacy.
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I know what you mean.
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I live with a five-year-old
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who thinks that I was born
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so that she'd have
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someone to play with.
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Not that I'm complaining.
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No, of course not.
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D.J., in my pre-alcove days
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I lived like a king.
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I had my own door
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four walls and a light switch.
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It was Camelot.
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Not that I'm complaining.
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Well, in my pre-Stephanie days
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my Bananarama poster
287
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didn't have to share the wall
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with Rainbow Brite.
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00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:10,758
(together)
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Not that I'm complaining.
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Well, if you need a place
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to keep your socks
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my bike basket
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is all yours.
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Thanks, D.J.
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But I keep my socks
297
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,393
in the glove compartment.
298
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,687
If you really wanna do
299
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,687
me a favor, you can get me
300
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,772
another glass of water
301
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,772
so I can finish washing
302
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:26,233
the rest of the car.
303
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,401
You got it.
304
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,238
[instrumental music]
305
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,701
And it was just so sad.
306
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,161
I mean, there was Joey
307
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,620
alone in the cold garage
308
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,122
spitting water onto the air..
309
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,041
...for nobody.
310
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,668
That is sad.
311
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,212
Could have been worse.
312
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,212
We could've had to watch it.
313
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,506
Right, Michelle?
314
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,802
Dad, Joey has no
315
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,802
place to rehearse.
316
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,180
Isn't there something we
317
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,180
can all do to help him?
318
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,807
What Joey really needs
319
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,807
is his own room.
320
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,809
Yes, you're right.
321
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,809
Joey needs a room.
322
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,395
Okay, let's stop
323
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,395
and think about this.
324
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,231
Darn, no rooms.
325
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,648
Oh, well, we thought about it.
326
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,152
I'm kidding,
327
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,152
I'm joking, I..
328
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,529
See? She knows
329
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,529
I'm joking.
330
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:13,696
Huh?
331
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,079
- Daddy.
332
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,079
- What?
333
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,622
Joey's not here yet.
334
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,249
Time out, Stephanie.
335
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,709
Honey, let's have
336
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,709
a little talk
337
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,878
about this lookout thing.
338
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,340
The key is to let us know
339
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,340
when Joey is coming
340
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,716
not when Joey
341
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,716
is not coming.
342
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,262
This is harder
343
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,262
than I thought.
344
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,846
No, sweetie, it's easy.
345
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,141
All you have to do
346
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,141
is when you see Joey coming
347
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,602
you give us
348
00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,602
the secret code.
349
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,105
Um, "the duck
350
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,105
flies at midnight."
351
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,483
"The duck flies
352
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,483
at midnight."
353
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,067
I should get
354
00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,067
paid for this.
355
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,490
Okay, I got this
356
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,490
all figured out.
357
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,617
Now if I move into
358
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,617
Michelle's room
359
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,369
Joey moves into my room,
360
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,369
Michelle moves into the alcove
361
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,456
and Stephanie gets her very own
362
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,456
tent in the backyard.
363
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,250
I don't think so.
364
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,503
Okay, plan B..
365
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,963
If we put bunk beds
366
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,963
in Jesse's room
367
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,131
that means Uncle Jesse and Joey
368
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,174
could be roommates.
369
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,716
Great idea, huh?
370
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,636
I don't think so.
371
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,472
Oh, here you are.
372
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:23,016
The duck, the turtle
373
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,435
the chicken drives to 7-11!
374
00:11:27,646 --> 00:11:29,981
At midnight.
375
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,107
(Danny)
376
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,107
'It's a new catch phrase.'
377
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,193
All the kids
378
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,193
are saying it.
379
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,569
Well, what's going on in here?
380
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,822
Uh, well, w-we're doing
381
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,822
this new family ritual
382
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,491
where we sing
383
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,491
Michelle to sleep.
384
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,576
- A new family ritual?
385
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,576
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,203
Why didn't
387
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,203
you guys call me?
388
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,580
Why didn't we call..
389
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,580
Well, uh, that's simple too.
390
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,707
W-what it is we're doing this
391
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,707
4-part harmony thing tonight
392
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,211
and here we go,
393
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:51,211
one, two, three, four..
394
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,795
♪ Lullaby ♪
395
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,963
♪ Oh, the farmer
396
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:53,963
in the dell ♪
397
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,215
♪ And good night ♪
398
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,633
♪ The farmer
399
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,633
in the dell ♪
400
00:11:56,675 --> 00:12:00,303
♪ And the words
401
00:11:56,675 --> 00:12:00,303
we're not sure of ♪
402
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,681
♪ The farmer
403
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,681
in the dell ♪
404
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:03,722
♪ The farmer
405
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:03,722
in the dell.. ♪♪
406
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,767
We've got to get Joey
407
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,767
out of that alcove.
408
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,102
You're right.
409
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,438
- Why didn't--
410
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,438
- The duck! The duck!
411
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,984
[instrumental music]
412
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:19,197
♪ Boil them cabbage down boy ♪
413
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,407
♪ Turn them cakes brown ♪
414
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,866
♪ The only song
415
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,866
I have to sing ♪
416
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,244
♪ Is boil
417
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,244
that cabbage down ♪
418
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,455
Jess, the girls'
419
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,455
after-school activities
420
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,416
for the next two weeks
421
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,416
are in blue
422
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,084
except for D.J.'s
423
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,084
dental appointment
424
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,502
which is in green.
425
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,753
And I put the cleaning
426
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,753
schedule in pink.
427
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,756
Alex, I'll take
428
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:37,756
dental appointments for 50.
429
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,429
Good morning,
430
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,429
my friends.
431
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,722
(together)
432
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,722
Good morning.
433
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,390
Just in time.
434
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,390
We've got your eggs.
435
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,058
We've got your bacon,
436
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,058
we've got your toast
437
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,143
we've got your milk,
438
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,143
we've got your orange juice
439
00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:50,729
and the morning paper
440
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,063
sports section on the top.
441
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,357
It looks like Jesse.
442
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,317
It sounds like Jesse.
443
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,319
I think I'll keep him.
444
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,530
Hey, all Hazel's done so far
445
00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:01,531
is make breakfast.
446
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,200
Well, what do
447
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,200
you guys think?
448
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,410
They're great.
449
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,410
I'll have seconds.
450
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,953
Seconds? Okay.
451
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,122
Seconds for you and seconds
452
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,122
for you, alright?
453
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,164
Thanks.
454
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:11,416
How come nobody ever asks
455
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,833
for a second helping
456
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,833
of my eggs?
457
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,506
So, uh, Jess...did
458
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,506
Michelle eat?
459
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:21,092
Yeah, like a horse. She's
460
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:21,092
sleeping it off in her playpen.
461
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,636
Way to go, Jess.
462
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,137
I-I'm sorry.
463
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,137
I'm late for work.
464
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,389
Joey, buddy,
465
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,389
you are on your way.
466
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,890
Knock 'em dead.
467
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,890
Blow 'em away.
468
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,309
You're gonna kill 'em.
469
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,977
You're in a very
470
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,977
violent business.
471
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:34,522
See you guys later.
472
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,816
Thanks. Made myself
473
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,816
an egg McJesse.
474
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,152
Alright.
475
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,612
Did you, uh,
476
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:40,612
think of an alternative
477
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,363
to Joey's alcove problem?
478
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,658
Oh, not yet. But I stayed up
479
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,658
all night thinkin' about it.
480
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,785
I thought you had a date.
481
00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:48,244
Okay, I stayed up all night.
482
00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:51,372
Well, let's keep thinking.
483
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,249
- Alright. See ya.
484
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,249
- Bye, girls.
485
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,292
(together)
486
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,292
Bye, dad.
487
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,169
[horn honking]
488
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,629
It's the bus!
489
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,172
I'm sorry. I forgot
490
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,172
to pack your lunches.
491
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,423
Ah tut tut tut tut!
492
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,840
Feed bags, young ladies.
493
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,426
- Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
494
00:14:01,882 --> 00:14:03,426
- You're welcome.
495
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,969
- Bye, Joey. Good luck.
496
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,969
- Bye.
497
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,012
Bye, Joey. Have fun.
498
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,305
Thanks. Bye.
499
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,556
We'll see you in a month.
500
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,433
Uh, in two weeks.
501
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,769
Joseph, you better get going,
502
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,769
man. You're gonna be late.
503
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,229
Now, Jess, remember,
504
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,229
I left all the important--
505
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,565
Joey, we can
506
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,565
take care of it.
507
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,776
- Are you sure?
508
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,776
- Yes, we don't need you.
509
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,444
Now go, TCB.
510
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,444
Take care of business.
511
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,570
- Come on. Go.
512
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:22,570
- But I-I--
513
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,405
LRN. Leave right now.
514
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,658
In other words, WAYG?
515
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,660
Why aren't
516
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,660
you gone? Go.
517
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:29,744
Okay. I'm going.
518
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,664
♪ Boil that
519
00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,664
cabbage down boy ♪
520
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:34,040
♪ Turn 'em.. ♪
521
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,333
Hi, Michelle.
522
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,084
Yeah.
523
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,419
[Michelle mumbling]
524
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,088
Uh-huh. No,
525
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,088
I haven't left yet.
526
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,549
But I'm going
527
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,549
for two weeks.
528
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,721
Something's going on here.
529
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,557
I mean, they're having
530
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,557
family rituals without me.
531
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,850
I can be replaced
532
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,850
like that
533
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,685
by a rock 'n' roll exterminator.
534
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,730
You know, maybe they don't
535
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,730
need me.
536
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,356
[Michelle mumbling]
537
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,940
Yeah, I know.
538
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,901
I think you're the only one
539
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,901
who cares about me.
540
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:04,738
Here. Give me a kiss.
541
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:06,947
Ah.
542
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,158
Okay.
543
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,618
Bye, Michelle.
544
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,245
Okay. You stay
545
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,245
right there.
546
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,082
Tell everyone
547
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,082
I'll miss them..
548
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,375
'...if they care.'
549
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,668
'Bye.'
550
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,385
[drum music on TV]
551
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,845
(man on TV)
552
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,845
'We'll be right back'
553
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,305
'with Judge Wapner's
554
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,305
decision after this.'
555
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,683
Hang that dry-cleaner,
556
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,683
Judge Wapner, hang him!
557
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,144
Alright. We got
558
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,144
the housework done.
559
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,354
Time for
560
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,354
a little dessert.
561
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:39,439
Here you go.
562
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,982
Tut! Who's your
563
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:41,982
favorite uncle?
564
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,611
I know, it's me.
565
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,611
Go ahead.
566
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,781
Alright, you know
567
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,781
what time it is, pal?
568
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,574
It's time for a little game
569
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,701
I like to call,
570
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,701
Michelle ball.
571
00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,620
Like this.
572
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,663
[doorbell dings]
573
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,081
[laughs]
574
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,041
Alright, listen,
575
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,041
we'll go answer the door
576
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,710
but when we come back
577
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,002
you'll throw me
578
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,002
up in the air
579
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,212
and blow bubbles
580
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,212
on my tummy, okay?
581
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,506
Get it? Blow bubbles on..
582
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,674
I'll get the door.
583
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,387
- Oh, hi, Joanie.
584
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,387
- Hi, Jesse.
585
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,389
Hi, Michelle.
586
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,389
Where's Joey?
587
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,266
Joey, uh, well, he's out of town
588
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,309
and I'm taking over for him.
589
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,435
Oh, good
590
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,813
because it's Joey's afternoon.
591
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,440
Joey's afternoon?
592
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,440
For what?
593
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,775
To watch the kids.
594
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,193
To watch the kids.
595
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,193
The kids!
596
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,740
I watch Michelle
597
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,740
on Tuesdays
598
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,742
and the other moms take turns
599
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,742
the rest of the week.
600
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:33,785
The other moms?
601
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,745
Yeah. Like Barbara and Janice.
602
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,914
Barbara and Janice. Barbara!
603
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:40,291
Hi, Joanie.
604
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:40,291
Hi, Jesse.
605
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,085
Hi, Michelle.
606
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,085
Hi, Robbie.
607
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,587
Hi, everybody.
608
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:45,755
'Oh, Jesse'
609
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:46,840
my Robbie doesn't get along
610
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,424
with Barb's Benji so try
611
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,009
and keep them separated.
612
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,928
Oh, and here I thought
613
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:51,928
I'd have nothing to do.
614
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,265
Hi, Jesse.
615
00:16:56,307 --> 00:17:00,227
- Hi, Barbara.
616
00:16:56,307 --> 00:17:00,227
- Hi, Joanie.
617
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,479
Hi, Ryan.
618
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,479
Hi, Robbie.
619
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,105
Hi, Michelle.
620
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,398
Thank you very
621
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,398
much for coming.
622
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,859
Go ahead, my friend.
623
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,527
Listen, I'm very good
624
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:07,527
with children.
625
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,987
You girls go have fun.
626
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,571
Have a nice day.
627
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,571
Shop, do whatever you do.
628
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:11,656
Come back. Bye.
629
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,907
(together)
630
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,907
Bye!
631
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,950
(Jesse)
632
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,950
'Thank you.
633
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,950
Bye-bye, girls!'
634
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:15,201
Bye, girls and..
635
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,161
...we thank you.
636
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:24,878
Attention, all crumb gobblers.
637
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,717
Joseph's out of town.
638
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,717
Big J's in charge here.
639
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,552
'It's quite simple.'
640
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:36,138
I can be your best friend
641
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:36,138
or your worst enemy.
642
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,181
The choice is yours.
643
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,641
Laundry fight!
644
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,767
Bad choice.
645
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,853
Listen, I spent
646
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,853
all day cleaning.
647
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,230
Gentlemen, listen,
648
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:44,230
I think we can sit down and..
649
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,232
Fellas, I don't think, really
650
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,984
we should throw laundry
651
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,984
this afternoon.
652
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,819
'Thank you, thanks very much.
653
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:49,819
Thank you for that.'
654
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,655
How would Cosby handle this?
655
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,658
[instrumental music]
656
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,619
(D.J.)
657
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:58,619
'I miss Joey already.'
658
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,079
(Stephanie)
659
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,079
'Yeah, me too.'
660
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,372
(Jesse)
661
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,372
'Not like I miss him.'
662
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,790
Ah, tut tut tut!
663
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,668
Uncle Jesse
664
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,254
maybe, we should
665
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:08,254
eat without daddy.
666
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,006
Sometimes he comes
667
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,006
home real late.
668
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,884
But a family should
669
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,884
always eat together.
670
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,721
Now we'll give your father
671
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,721
five more minutes, okay?
672
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,765
Could we start
673
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,765
on some vegetables?
674
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,684
Did I say vegetables?
675
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,228
I must be starving.
676
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,569
Hi, honey, I'm home.
677
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:35,573
Hi, girls.
678
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,199
(together)
679
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,199
Hi, dad.
680
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,534
I'm sorry, I'm late,
681
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,534
at the last minute
682
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:39,953
I had to rush out to Oakland
683
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,996
to cover a "Warriors"
684
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,996
practice session.
685
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,039
Traffic was miserable.
686
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,039
The camera--
687
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,206
Give me a break.
688
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,625
Huh?
689
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,710
Don't huh me.
690
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:50,170
You waltz in here
691
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:50,170
25 minutes late
692
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,756
and expect sympathy?
693
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,799
Huh.
694
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,841
Well, I didn't know you--
695
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,384
I have cleaned the house..
696
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,888
...and washed and ironed
697
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,888
your clothes
698
00:19:00,347 --> 00:19:01,933
'and ran a day care center'
699
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,225
for socially deviant munchkins
700
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,352
and missed "Oprah."
701
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,731
Ran this one
702
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,731
to a ballet lesson
703
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,108
this one to the dentist.
704
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,359
No cavities.
705
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,359
Thank you very much.
706
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:15,113
Do you realize that I have
707
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:15,113
slaved over a hot stove
708
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,781
so you could have a hot meal
709
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,781
when you come home?
710
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,782
Huh? Hmm-hmm, hmm?
711
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,535
- Jesse, I'm sorry.
712
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,535
- Sorry, ha!
713
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,913
Sorry.
714
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,414
Sorry doesn't
715
00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,414
change the fact
716
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,792
that my chicken
717
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,792
tetrazzini is ruined!
718
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,752
Ruined!
719
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,006
It's all dried out.
720
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,968
But do you have
721
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,968
the common courtesy
722
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,385
to call me and tell me
723
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,096
you're gonna be
724
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,096
25 minutes late, no!
725
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,057
Well
726
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,183
I am not an animal.
727
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,312
Oh, my God. What's
728
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,312
happening to me?
729
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,026
I'm turning
730
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,026
into June Cleaver.
731
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,448
Ah.
732
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:02,576
You are a beautiful human being.
733
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,912
'Jesse, the first day
734
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,912
is always the toughest.'
735
00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:06,413
No.
736
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,416
Hey, my sad
737
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,416
little soldier
738
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,710
this will
739
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,710
perk you up.
740
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,086
I figured out
741
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,086
the perfect solution
742
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,629
to Joey's alcove problem.
743
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,715
I talked to some contractors
744
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,591
and during the next two weeks
745
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,510
we are going to build Joey
746
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,220
his own bedroom.
747
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,722
Good idea!
748
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:23,931
Oh, great.
749
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,224
Another room for me to clean.
750
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,103
Uncle Jesse, your
751
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,103
chicken's pretty good.
752
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,271
Yeah. It's just
753
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,271
a little dry.
754
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,654
[instrumental music]
755
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,785
I'm back.
756
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,634
The duck flies at midnight!
757
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,262
I got it!
758
00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,555
Okay, everybody be cool.
759
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,057
Don't say a thing.
760
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,391
Okay. Whose turn is it?
761
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,391
What do you got there?
762
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,642
(Danny)
763
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,642
'Okay, I'd like to buy Indiana.'
764
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:09,727
(Jesse)
765
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:09,727
Alright. $500.
766
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,811
- Okay?
767
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,811
- Okay.
768
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,271
Don't forget
769
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,271
the change.
770
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,480
(Jesse)
771
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,480
'There you go. Alright,
772
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:13,480
whose turn..'
773
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,815
Uh, hello.
774
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,400
- Hi, Joe.
775
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,400
- Hi, Joey.
776
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:17,735
Alright, whose turn is it?
777
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,028
How did the college tour go?
778
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,030
Fine. Real good.
779
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,198
How did everything go here?
780
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,657
Oh, real cool.
781
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,034
The house is cool,
782
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,034
kids are cool.
783
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,619
There's some Peking duck
784
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,619
in the fridge for you.
785
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,246
Just out of curiosity
786
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,455
would anybody happen to know
787
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:31,498
where all my stuff is?
788
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,459
Yeah. We-we moved it
789
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,459
down to the garage.
790
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:36,336
Oh. I see.
791
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,546
(Jesse)
792
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,546
'I think it's your turn.'
793
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:38,881
Well, uh, maybe there's
794
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:38,881
something else
795
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,800
you'd like to tell me,
796
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:40,800
like good-bye.
797
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,551
Joey.
798
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:44,303
Adios? Am-scray?
799
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,139
- Joey.
800
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,139
- Hit the road, Joey.
801
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,556
Joey, your stuff
802
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:47,556
is in the garage.
803
00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:48,724
Go check it out.
804
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,226
I'll check it out
805
00:21:50,268 --> 00:21:51,811
and then, I'll pack it up.
806
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:54,521
You just threw all my stuff
807
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:54,521
down in the garage?
808
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,023
Why didn't you just fling
809
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,023
it out on the front lawn?
810
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,818
Am I still getting
811
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,818
my mail here
812
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,444
or did you forward it
813
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,444
to the gutter?
814
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,785
'I didn't demand
815
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,785
to move in here.'
816
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,203
I volunteered to help out.
817
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,246
If you didn't
818
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,246
need my help
819
00:22:10,288 --> 00:22:11,664
all you had to say was..
820
00:22:19,130 --> 00:22:20,923
...Joey is an idiot.
821
00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,179
Oh, ho-ho!
822
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,432
I got a bathroom,
823
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:30,432
my jets
824
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,434
manny, my bed.
825
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:35,980
I love it!
826
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,023
You deserve it!
827
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,776
How did you guys
828
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,776
get my old furniture?
829
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,653
Your mom.
830
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,404
What happened to all
831
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,404
the junk that was down here?
832
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,614
Attic.
833
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:46,699
Where's your motorcycle?
834
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,034
Back yard.
835
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:49,743
Hey, where we gonna
836
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:49,743
park our cars?
837
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:50,870
Street.
838
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:53,831
This was the garage?
839
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:56,667
Danny, this must have
840
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:56,667
cost a fortune.
841
00:22:58,794 --> 00:22:59,920
Don't ask.
842
00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:03,757
Joey, you're my best friend
843
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,218
and you're doing me
844
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,218
the biggest favor
845
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,803
of my life by helping me
846
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,803
raise my girls.
847
00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,264
This is just our way
848
00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,264
of saying thanks.
849
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:16,312
No one has ever done
850
00:23:16,354 --> 00:23:17,980
anything like this
851
00:23:16,354 --> 00:23:17,980
for me before.
852
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:21,734
And the best part is
853
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,070
as great as my new room is
854
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,863
you guys really want me here.
855
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,282
Are you kidding?
856
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,243
You're a part
857
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,243
of our family.
858
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:32,410
Face it, pal.
859
00:23:30,284 --> 00:23:32,410
You're a Tanner.
860
00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:33,954
[laughs]
861
00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:36,999
Welcome home, Joseph.
862
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,876
Tomorrow, you're
863
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,876
on the day shift.
864
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:42,171
Steph, I got great news.
865
00:23:42,213 --> 00:23:44,340
This means you can
866
00:23:42,213 --> 00:23:44,340
move into the alcove!
867
00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:49,011
You're too good to me.
868
00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:49,011
It's all yours.
869
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,767
Thanks for the room, everybody.
870
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:57,353
Forward your mail
871
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:57,353
to the gutter, huh?
872
00:23:57,395 --> 00:24:00,106
Fling your stuff
873
00:23:57,395 --> 00:24:00,106
on the lawn, huh?
874
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:01,607
I was kidding.
875
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:01,607
I'm a comedian.
876
00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:02,816
I'm in the kidding business.
877
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,277
Kid this, buddy.
878
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:06,237
[instrumental music]
879
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,906
[screaming]
880
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,618
♪ Ahh ♪♪
881
00:24:12,659 --> 00:24:14,578
[theme music]