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[theme music]
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♪ Ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Ah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman the paper boy
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evening TV ♪
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♪ How did I get
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to living it here ♪
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♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This old world
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you've ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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who knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell
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your dream so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody
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who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're
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lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin'
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Doobie do ba bada ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Alright, girls,
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now, not one word
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about your dad's
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surprise party tonight, okay?
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That means you, Steph.
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What makes you think
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I'm gonna tell him?
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Because you blew
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dad's surprise party last year.
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I was only four.
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Give me a break.
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Steph, this is
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an important birthday.
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Your dad turns the big 3-0.
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How much more than 5
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is the big 3-0?
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Well, here, I'll show you.
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This is you.
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And this is your daddy.
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Wow! He's almost
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a whole box old.
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Make way! It's the Goodyear
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birthday blimp.
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I had to take
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a couple balloons off.
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She was getting
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picked up by radar.
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Come here.
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Alright. Your daddy's
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on his way down.
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Stephanie, I heard
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about last year.
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Do not spoil
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the surprise party.
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Man, one little mistake.
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Good morning, everyone.
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(all)
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Happy birthday!
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Okay. It's been said.
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Now, we can just move on
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and forget the fact
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that I'm...I'm..
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(together)
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30.
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Thank you.
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Okay, anyway..
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...I don't turn, uh, turn..
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(together)
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30.
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Thank you. I don't turn
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what you just said until 8:15.
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Dad, it's 8:20.
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Oh, my God.
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Dad, this is a present
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from Michelle,
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Steph, and me.
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Aw.
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Look at this.
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D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle's
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"coupon book."
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This is great!
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'And you made it yourselves.
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I love this.'
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"D.J. and Stephanie will
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change Michelle's diaper."
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I'll hold on to this.
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I'm sorry, Jesse.
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They're not transferable.
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And a free car wash
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for my car, Bullet.
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Do you realize
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I bought that car
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10 years ago
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on my 20th birthday?
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You know, every time
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I get behind the wheel
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and I put the top down
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and start blasting
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my self-improvement tapes..
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...I feel like a kid again.
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Boy, you were born
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to raise heck.
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[doorbell rings]
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Dad, that must be
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another birthday surprise!
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Oh, look at them run.
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Did I ever run like that?
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You bet. You always
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ran like a girl.
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Come on, grandpa. I'll help you
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across the living room floor.
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You know, you
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shouldn't be so cocky
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just because you're 24,
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and I'm...I'm..
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(together)
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30.
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Come on, Michelle.
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Alright, girls.
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Tell our lucky contestant
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what's behind door number one.
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Vanna, Carol Merrill.
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(together)
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Ta-da!
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I won a man?
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Not just any man.
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Jimmy, tell him
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what he's won.
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Okay, Bob.
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Danny Tanner, you'll
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be riding in style
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because you've won
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your very own
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chauffeur-driven
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limousine for a day.
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Oh!
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Yes, it's a stretch limousine
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complete with a bar,
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TV, telephone
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and a year's supply
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of calendar's...one!
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- Ah!
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- Ah!
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You guys have gone all out.
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This is terrific.
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But I wish you hadn't gone
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to such a big expense.
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We didn't. I'm gonna
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fumigate his house for free.
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I can't say it enough.
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God bless silverfish.
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Hey, girls, you wanna ride
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to school in a limo?
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I'd love to ride in a limo.
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But can it take us
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somewhere else besides school?
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Let's hit the mall!
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Alright, Steph!
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You're going to school.
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Let's go, let's go.
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Thanks for a terrific birthday.
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Okay, I want one thing.
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I want you to remember
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I do not want a party.
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This'll be our little secret.
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- Okay.
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- Alright. Sure.
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I mean it. No party.
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Fine.
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- Back to the party.
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- Well, Bob, I've--
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Tut tut tut!
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We're done with the voice.
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Okay. The food arrives at 5.
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Belly dancer arrives at 5:30.
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Belly dancer leaves at 6.
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Guests arrive at 6:30.
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Limo drops Danny
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here at home at 7.
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- What about his present?
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- Alright.
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Present.
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I'm leaving work early.
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I'm gonna take Bullet
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get him fitted for seat covers.
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He is gonna love them. Come on.
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- Boy, he really loves this car.
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- Hey, who wouldn't?
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I mean, you're talking
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about a car that goes from
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zero to 60 in 2 weeks.
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[instrumental music]
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Now, Steph, do it
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just the way I told you.
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D.J., I'm old enough
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to carry a tray
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of "appezizers."
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"Attepizers."
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Cheese sticks.
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Excuse me,
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do you care about cheese?
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Thank you, Stephanie.
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Steph.
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It's do you care for cheese?
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She took one, didn't she?
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Alright. Goodnight.
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Thanks for dragging it home.
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(man #1)
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'Sure, pal. Good luck.'
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Oh. Poor Bullet.
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Maybe Danny won't notice.
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Boy, am I in trouble. Joey!
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Jesse, what's wrong?
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I've never seen your face
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this shade of green before.
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- This must be serious.
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- It is.
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Uncle Jesse,
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is something wrong?
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I'm getting these vibes.
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Yes, something's very wrong.
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I knew it.
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This is great!
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I'm sorry, but I'm
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developing woman's intuition.
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It's a big step in my life.
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Listen, uh,
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your father's car
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has been in a little accident.
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(Joey)
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'How little?'
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Big little. Follow me.
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Come here.
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I want you guys
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to take a look.
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(together)
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Ooh!
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You're dead meat.
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Boy, this is gonna take
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all the fun out of those
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seat covers.
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What are you going to do?
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What do you mean,
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what am I gonna do?
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I'm gonna do what I have to do.
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I'm gonna tell him the truth.
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When we're in trouble
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we give dad
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"We're the cutest
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little girls
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in the world" look.
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That may work
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for you, girls
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but I don't have
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those cute little dimples.
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Well, maybe if you put a..
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...pretty little bow
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in your hair
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or something..
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Not funny.
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Danny's coming up the steps!
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Come on.
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- What do we do?
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- Okay, here's the plan.
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First, we hide
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the seat covers.
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Hide the seat covers.
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Alright. Now what?
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Look, it's tough enough
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for Danny turning 30.
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It's his birthday,
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and you gotta promise me
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you're not
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gonna ruin it for him.
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Okay, I promise.
296
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,352
Then we have to make sure that
297
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,519
he has the best time
298
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:39,519
he's ever had
299
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:40,603
in his entire life.
300
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,646
Good. We'll do that.
301
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,106
Then, in the afterglow
302
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,191
you'll set him down
303
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,360
and gently
304
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,360
rip his heart out.
305
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,404
Can't you come up
306
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,404
with a happier ending?
307
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:51,156
Yeah, the car fairy shows up
308
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,699
and makes everything wonderful.
309
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,246
- Shh! Quiet, everyone.
310
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,246
- 'Let's see.'
311
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,748
15 of my friends' cars
312
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,748
parked right out front.
313
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,667
I wonder..
314
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,129
(together)
315
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,129
Surprise!
316
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,131
I don't believe this.
317
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,550
(together)
318
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,550
Happy birthday!
319
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:11,801
Thank you, thank you.
320
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,261
This is great.
321
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,261
I love this.
322
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,096
Everybody's here.
323
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,096
This is so nice.
324
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,681
All my friends from
325
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,681
the station are here.
326
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,100
Are we running
327
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:19,100
a test pattern tonight?
328
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,560
Cousin Ed!
329
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,145
Oh, Cousin Ed.
330
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,439
Caroline, why aren't you out
331
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,439
running your fishing boat?
332
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,526
Oh, what, and miss your
333
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:27,526
19th birthday party?
334
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,070
I am so glad you're here.
335
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,697
Daddy, would you care
336
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,697
for some cheese?
337
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:36,159
Oh, yes, Stephanie.
338
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:36,159
Thank you.
339
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,618
This is too easy.
340
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,246
I'm ready for dip.
341
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,957
Oh, there you are,
342
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,957
you birthday nuts.
343
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,584
I thought
344
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,584
I told you no party.
345
00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,127
Oh, you say that every year.
346
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,088
This is the last
347
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,088
surprise, isn't it?
348
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,965
Well.
349
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,300
Danny, I just
350
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,300
want you to know
351
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,968
that Jesse deserves
352
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,968
all the credit.
353
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,763
This whole party was his idea
354
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:56,763
because he loves you.
355
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,848
- Right.
356
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,848
- Always remember that.
357
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,517
Please.
358
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,436
Oh, Jesse, I know you hate
359
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,436
when I hug you--
360
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,937
Hey, I got an idea.
361
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,646
It's your birthday.
362
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,646
What the heck.
363
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,857
Why don't I hug you
364
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,857
this time, huh?
365
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,568
Brother-in-law.
366
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,652
Say cheese.
367
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,154
- Cheese!
368
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,154
- Cheese!
369
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,869
We'll call this
370
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,869
the "before" picture.
371
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:23,373
Open that one.
372
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,666
Now, Danny,
373
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:25,666
if you don't like it
374
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,127
there's now way
375
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,127
I can return it
376
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,879
so you'd
377
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:29,879
better like it.
378
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,714
Oh.
379
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,468
Caroline,
380
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,468
this is great.
381
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,261
The last time Danny went
382
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,261
fishing on my boat
383
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,554
he didn't catch a thing
384
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,180
so I mounted his bait.
385
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,393
Hey, I'm just out there
386
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,393
for the fresh air.
387
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:45,353
Daddy, I found
388
00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:45,353
another present.
389
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,355
- No, no.
390
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,355
- No, no.
391
00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:48,689
You never saw me.
392
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,568
Aw, the gifts
393
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,568
just keep on coming.
394
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,487
Look at this,
395
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,487
"from Jesse and Joey
396
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:55,447
to Bullet and Danny."
397
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,449
'Oh, great.'
398
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,699
Wow!
399
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,620
Sheepskin seat covers
400
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,620
for Bullet.
401
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,787
I could cry.
402
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,581
Oh, you will.
403
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,668
I'm gonna go try
404
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,668
these on right now.
405
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,838
Uh, excuse me.
406
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,382
I think now would be
407
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,382
a good time to tell him.
408
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,218
Whoa, Danny, Danny.
409
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:18,219
Listen, before you go out there
410
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,054
I wanna tell you something.
411
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,765
Bullet was in an accident.
412
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,644
Is he alright?
413
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,271
No. Listen,
414
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,271
this is what happened.
415
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,772
I'm coming out
416
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,772
of Pep Boys, right?
417
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,690
With your wonderful yet
418
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,610
essentially useless party gift
419
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,903
and this idiot plowed into
420
00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,903
the back of Bullet, right?
421
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,322
It sends him down the hill
422
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,240
through this guard rail,
423
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,240
into the air
424
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,825
where he did
425
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,825
kind of a full gainer.
426
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,369
He lands in the bay
427
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,288
and sank...like a stone.
428
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,875
But look, Bullet went out
429
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,875
with a blaze of glory.
430
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,002
[laughing]
431
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,922
For a second,
432
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,922
you had me going.
433
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,467
He sank to the
434
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,467
bottom of the bay.
435
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,801
You know what a car
436
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,801
would look like
437
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,845
if it sank to the
438
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,845
bottom of the bay?
439
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,263
[laughing]
440
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,160
We'll call this
441
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,160
the "after" picture.
442
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,422
Daddy,
443
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,422
are you alright?
444
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,215
[laughing]
445
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,757
Of course, sweetheart.
446
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,594
I'm fine.
447
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,721
That's the same smile
448
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,721
Jack Nicholson had
449
00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,180
in "The Shining."
450
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,309
Maybe it just needs
451
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,309
a little touch-up paint.
452
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,729
Look, Danny, listen,
453
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,729
I'm gonna make this up to you.
454
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,607
I promise.
455
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,607
I accept all responsibility.
456
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,024
Even though it was
457
00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:55,024
actually the fault
458
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,234
of the Spanish missionaries
459
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,236
for being so dumb
460
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,236
to build a city
461
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,029
on so many hills
462
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,029
that go--
463
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,864
Hey, pal, I'm fine.
464
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,782
These things happen.
465
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,619
Que sera sera.
466
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,328
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.
467
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,872
Life goes on. Rah.
468
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,708
(Jesse)
469
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,708
'Danny, drop the act.'
470
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,543
Every weekend you're out
471
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,543
here polishing this thing
472
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:14,753
waxing this thing.
473
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,338
It's ruined.
474
00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:17,338
The outside's ruined.
475
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,881
The inside's ruined.
476
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,218
The handle's actually
477
00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:22,218
in good shape.
478
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,430
Jesse, it's not about
479
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:26,889
the hundreds of hours of labor
480
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:29,016
he poured into this car.
481
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,311
It's about 10 years
482
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,311
of memories.
483
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,648
Danny, this car was with you
484
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,566
through the tough years.
485
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,026
It drove you to
486
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,026
your first real job.
487
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,987
Then it helped you
488
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,987
raise a family.
489
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:43,864
Man, this car
490
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:43,864
was your 20s.
491
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,411
That's good. We lost the phony
492
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,411
smile. Very good. Alright.
493
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,622
Now what you gotta do is
494
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,622
get in touch with your anger.
495
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,791
Let it all out. Hit me.
496
00:13:50,664 --> 00:13:52,791
Go ahead. Hit me.
497
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,709
No, I got a better idea.
498
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,709
Hit the car, hit the car.
499
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,294
Hit the...kick the car.
500
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,045
Let it go, let it go,
501
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,045
let it go, let it go.
502
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,172
Go ahead.
503
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,135
Doesn't that
504
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,135
feel better, huh?
505
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,261
Feels good, right?
506
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,055
I can honestly say
507
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:11,434
that this is one birthday
508
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:11,434
I will never forget.
509
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:13,978
Goodnight.
510
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:15,896
Goodnight, girls.
511
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,315
(together)
512
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,315
Goodnight.
513
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,776
Oh, and thank you very much
514
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:21,902
for the lovely seat covers.
515
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,782
Probably not the best time
516
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:27,283
for birthday cake.
517
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,745
[instrumental music]
518
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,501
Look, honey, it's Mr. Dog.
519
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,670
What does Mr. Dog say?
520
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,046
Woof, woof.
521
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,841
I may be holding the first
522
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:42,841
woman president.
523
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,009
Yes. Look. It's Mr. Pig.
524
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,220
What does Mr. Pig say?
525
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,346
Boof.
526
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,764
Close enough.
527
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,140
Let's go for three.
528
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,477
Oh. Oh.
529
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,187
It's Mr. Car.
530
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,940
What does Mr. Car say?
531
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:01,735
You're right.
532
00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:03,319
He doesn't say anything.
533
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,905
Because he's dead.
534
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,993
Good morning. How
535
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,993
are you guys doing?
536
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,328
What are you
537
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,328
doing up so early?
538
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,414
I thought I heard
539
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:14,414
Michelle crying.
540
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,249
No. That was me.
541
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,042
- Can I hold her?
542
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,042
- Sure.
543
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,711
Come here, sweetie.
544
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,464
Come on, buddy. Cheer up.
545
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,091
It's just a car.
546
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,802
Actually, it's a big
547
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,802
wet lawn sculpture.
548
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,847
Come on, I dare you
549
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,391
to look at this baby
550
00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,391
and not smile.
551
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,602
Hi, daddy.
552
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,602
It's me, it's me.
553
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,270
It's me, it's me!
554
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,648
Cheer up. There you go.
555
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,648
Atta boy.
556
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,859
See, now who cares
557
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,859
about a car?
558
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:48,114
Aw, Joey, it's more
559
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:48,114
than just the car.
560
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,325
I'm talking
561
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,325
about the big picture.
562
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,827
Who are we?
563
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,161
Where are we going?
564
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,956
And why do we have to
565
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,956
get there so fast?
566
00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,207
We're Joey and Danny
567
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,918
and we're going down
568
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,918
into the kitchen
569
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,795
and we're going there fast
570
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,795
because if we don't
571
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,963
Jesse will eat all
572
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,963
the microwave pancakes.
573
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,508
Do you remember back
574
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,508
in junior high school
575
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,719
when we had wood shop
576
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,719
with old man Pathco?
577
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:13,598
Ha ha! Yeah, I remember
578
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:13,598
that old geezer.
579
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,725
Joey, old man Pathco was 27.
580
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,771
It seems like just yesterday
581
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:19,771
you were saying to me
582
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,689
"Danny, I wonder
583
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:21,689
what it's like out there
584
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:25,359
in the real world? Getting
585
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:25,359
a job, being a grown-up."
586
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,945
I did say that yesterday.
587
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,574
- Hello.
588
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,574
- Hey, Jess.
589
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,326
Jess, it's alright. Come on in.
590
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,995
Hello, Michelle.
591
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,995
Hello, Michelle.
592
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,246
Come here,
593
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,246
come here.
594
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,750
You still mad at me?
595
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,627
Oh, I know what happened
596
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,627
wasn't your fault.
597
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,712
Alright, listen. I'm gonna make
598
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,712
it up to you, man. I promise.
599
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,339
Joseph, go get dressed.
600
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,339
We're taking a ride.
601
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,674
Where are we going?
602
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,925
Are you gonna
603
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,925
be home today?
604
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,802
Where am I going?
605
00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:50,802
I got no car.
606
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,137
And I'm an old man
607
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,137
who just turned..
608
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,388
...I just turned..
609
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,890
(together)
610
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,890
30.
611
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,851
- Thank you.
612
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,851
- You stay right here.
613
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,059
I got a big
614
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,059
surprise for you.
615
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,436
Oh, please,
616
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,436
no more surprises.
617
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,855
No, no. This surprise
618
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:01,855
you are gonna love.
619
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,481
- Come on, Joey.
620
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,481
- Okay.
621
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,317
Oh! Wait. One more
622
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,317
for the road.
623
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,280
Irresistible. I can't keep
624
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,280
my lips off her tummy.
625
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:13,992
[blowing a raspberry]
626
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,618
He's right.
627
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,618
You're habit-forming.
628
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,962
- Yes!
629
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:25,962
- Alright!
630
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,506
Whoo! Look at this car.
631
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,506
The same color.
632
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,257
This thing looks
633
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,257
just like Bullet.
634
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,259
Alright!
635
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,136
Thank you.
636
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,136
I'll see you on Sunday.
637
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,973
This is Bullet's twin brother.
638
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,224
How did you find him?
639
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,767
Simple, I picked up
640
00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:39,767
the phone and dialed
641
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,186
every dealer
642
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,186
in northern California.
643
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,438
But it doesn't matter.
644
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:44,438
I found you.
645
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,232
I found you!
646
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,567
Why am I talking to you?
647
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,235
Yes, we're going
648
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,235
to buy you
649
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,444
and we're gonna
650
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:50,444
take you home
651
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,655
and Danny's
652
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,655
gonna be so happy.
653
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,492
Oh, we did it.
654
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,536
Joe, Joe, Joe,
655
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,536
Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.
656
00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,913
It's gonna be
657
00:17:58,578 --> 00:17:59,913
quite difficult
658
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,622
to get a good price
659
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,622
for the car
660
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,374
if you're actually
661
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,374
kissing the car.
662
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,004
- Right. Right.
663
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,004
- Listen. This is important.
664
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,882
Danny's getting 11,700
665
00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,882
from the insurance company.
666
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,676
The important thing
667
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,676
is we get this car for 11-7.
668
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,886
Excuse me, is there something
669
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,470
I can help you
670
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,470
fine gentlemen with?
671
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,723
Oh, I don't know.
672
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,723
We're just browsing around.
673
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,140
You know, browsing,
674
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,140
lookin' at the cars.
675
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,392
Well, how about this one?
676
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,977
I mean, what's the
677
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,977
story on Bullet..
678
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,562
...on this car here?
679
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:25,605
12 grand.
680
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,814
[telephone rings]
681
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:27,982
12 grand.
682
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,568
I wouldn't pay a nickel
683
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,568
over 11-7.
684
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,449
Paul's classic cars.
685
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:36,449
Paul himself. We got you.
686
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,951
You guys aren't
687
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,951
gonna believe this
688
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,911
but I've got a guy
689
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,911
on the phone right now
690
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,287
who's offering 12 grand
691
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,415
for that car, sight unseen.
692
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,708
He's bluffing us, Joseph.
693
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,919
Watch me. I'll play into it.
694
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,504
Uh, 11-7, Paul.
695
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,881
(Jesse)
696
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,881
'Okay, fine.'
697
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,424
No 11-7, we're
698
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,424
walking out the door
699
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,842
and we ain't
700
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,842
coming back.
701
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,260
He'll stop us. Watch.
702
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,055
Goodbye, Paul.
703
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,055
We'll see you, Paul.
704
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,682
- We're gone.
705
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,682
- Bye-bye, Paulie.
706
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,517
- We're already out the door.
707
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,517
- We're gone, man.
708
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,603
- We're gone.
709
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,603
- Bye-bye, Paulie.
710
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,063
Adios, Paul.
711
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:08,648
Congratulations, sir.
712
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,691
When can you come down
713
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,691
and pick it up?
714
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,026
Hi, Paul.
715
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,695
- 12-1.
716
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,695
- I'm sorry, sir.
717
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,115
I just received
718
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,115
an offer of 12-1.
719
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,825
I'll give you 12,500.
720
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,326
Go, dad! Keep going!
721
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,411
$12,500.
722
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,872
- 13,000.
723
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,872
- 13,000.
724
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:25,957
14,000.
725
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,750
I'll kick in an extra 20.
726
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,919
Count me in
727
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,919
for 73 cents.
728
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,840
They're up
729
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,840
to $14,020.73.
730
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,008
We got to get Danny this car.
731
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:38,302
$14,020.75.
732
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,637
We got him on the ropes.
733
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,389
$14,020.75.
734
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,142
What's he up to, dad?
735
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,019
He went up 2 cents.
736
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,561
I got a loose tooth.
737
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,272
Whatever the tooth fairy
738
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,272
gives me, it's yours.
739
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,150
15,000.
740
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,861
I got 15,000. 15,000.
741
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,861
Do I hear 16,000?
742
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:58,238
- 16,000.
743
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:58,238
- 17, 000!
744
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,782
I got $17,000.
745
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:00,825
No, no, that doesn't count.
746
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,160
The yahoo bird bid against me.
747
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,370
Too late.
748
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,370
He's up to 18,000 now.
749
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,582
You tell him that I'm gonna pay
750
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,582
anything for that car.
751
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,127
I'm gonna pay 20,000 bucks.
752
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:12,252
$20,000.
753
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,339
$20,000?
754
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,092
I'm going crazy over
755
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:18,092
a car I haven't even seen.
756
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,553
Look, I got to send
757
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,553
my daughters to college.
758
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,096
It's only a car.
759
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,973
Let the other guy have it.
760
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,059
He went up another thousand.
761
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,896
But I think
762
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,896
that car can be yours
763
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,106
for only $22,000.
764
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,192
[sighs]
765
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:38,196
We went from 11-7
766
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:38,196
to $22,000.
767
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,907
How are we gonna
768
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,907
pay that?
769
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,825
You know how many jokes
770
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,825
I have to tell?
771
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,452
You know how many bugs
772
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,452
I have to kill?
773
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,538
We'll just get Danny's
774
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,538
car somewhere else.
775
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,208
Give it to the other guy.
776
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,835
Boys, boys, boys.
777
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,835
Let's not be hasty here.
778
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,962
Did I say $22,000?
779
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,048
I actually meant 21.
780
00:20:58,174 --> 00:21:00,051
20. 19?
781
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,429
How about 11-5, Paul?
782
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:05,723
Sold.
783
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,850
Yes! Whoo-hoo!
784
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:09,727
Can I interest you boys
785
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,062
in an extended
786
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,062
service contract?
787
00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:12,563
Write up the car, Paul.
788
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,191
Danny! Daniel!
789
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,193
Hey, guys.
790
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,193
I am glad you're here.
791
00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,237
- I've got some great news.
792
00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,237
- So do we.
793
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,239
- Let me tell you mine first.
794
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,239
- Okay.
795
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,907
Do you remember
796
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,907
when I thought
797
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,659
the only car I could
798
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,659
ever love was Bullet?
799
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,869
- Yep.
800
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,869
- Uh-huh.
801
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,537
Well, I was wrong.
802
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,664
Wouldn't I look good
803
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:30,664
behind the wheel
804
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,583
of a Jeep Wagoneer?
805
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,586
(Danny)
806
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,586
'Look at this.'
807
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,755
'Rear track lock differential'
808
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,798
'self-sealing radials'
809
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,967
anti-theft ignition.
810
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:43,385
I can't wait to find out
811
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:43,385
what these things mean.
812
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:46,847
You can't be serious.
813
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:48,182
Of course I am.
814
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,850
In fact, I even
815
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,850
called a dealership today
816
00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:50,893
and started bidding on a car
817
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:52,979
that was exactly like Bullet.
818
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,438
And there was
819
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,438
this other yo-yo there
820
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,523
that kept hiking up
821
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,523
the price.
822
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,151
(Joey)
823
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,151
'It was crazy.'
824
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:01,779
So, I just said,
825
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:01,779
bye-bye Bullet.
826
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:03,990
I went car shopping.
827
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,700
And guys, I fell in love.
828
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:11,497
So tomorrow I am buying
829
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:11,497
my first new car ever.
830
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,790
I hope you're not
831
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,790
planning on using
832
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,708
your insurance check.
833
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,585
What are you
834
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:16,585
talking about?
835
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,795
That was
836
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,795
our little surprise.
837
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,257
We, uh...got you
838
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,257
a birthday gift.
839
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:22,967
Take a look.
840
00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:29,682
Aww.
841
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:34,895
You two were the yo-yos?
842
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,648
- Yo.
843
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,648
- Yo.
844
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,568
I love that car.
845
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,612
I thought you just said
846
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,612
"bye-bye Bullet."
847
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,239
To the old Bullet.
848
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,074
You have to
849
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,074
move on in life.
850
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,451
So, move on
851
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,451
to your Wagoneer.
852
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,704
Hey, what better symbol
853
00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:51,704
for the next decade
854
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:54,456
than a gift
855
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:54,456
from my two best friends?
856
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,167
Birthdays aren't
857
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:56,167
about numbers.
858
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,376
They're about
859
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,376
who you spend them with.
860
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,338
You guys made
861
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,338
this one great.
862
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:02,464
You really want
863
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:02,464
to keep the car?
864
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,342
Absolutely.
865
00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:06,093
Thank you.
866
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,594
(Jesse and Joey)
867
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,594
Happy birthday.
868
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,388
- Again.
869
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,388
- Again.
870
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:12,558
You know what
871
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:12,558
really feels nice?
872
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,310
For the first time
873
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:16,770
it feels great to be..
874
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:17,771
...30.
875
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:20,566
- He said it!
876
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:20,566
- Oh, yes.
877
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:22,860
So what are you gonna
878
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:22,860
name him? Bullet, Jr.?
879
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:26,655
Come on, Joey. A 30-year-old man
880
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:26,655
doesn't name his car.
881
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,741
Go get the kids.
882
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,741
Let's go for a spin.
883
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:29,950
Alright.
884
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,119
(Jesse)
885
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,119
'Stephanie.'
886
00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,495
(Joey)
887
00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,495
'D.J.'
888
00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:37,333
I'll be right back..
889
00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:38,625
...Walter.
890
00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:45,758
♪ Baby you can drive my car ♪
891
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:49,345
♪ Yes I'm gonna be a star ♪
892
00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:51,680
♪ Baby you can drive my car ♪
893
00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:54,641
♪ 'Cause baby I love you ♪
894
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:56,852
♪ Beep-beep beep-beep yeah ♪
895
00:23:58,062 --> 00:24:00,106
♪ Beep-beep
896
00:23:58,062 --> 00:24:00,106
beep-beep yeah ♪
897
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:03,567
♪ Oh I'm gonna be a star ♪
898
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,069
♪ Drive my car ♪
899
00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:06,946
♪ Beep-beep beep-beep ♪♪
900
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,782
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
901
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:11,909
[theme music]