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[Jesse Frederick singing
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"Everywhere You Look"]
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♪ Ah ah ah ♪
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♪ Ahh ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milkman
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evening TV ♪
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♪ Did I get
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delivered here ♪
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♪ Somebody tell me
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please ♪
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♪ This old world's
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you've ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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who knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell
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your dreams so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody
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who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're
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lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Doobie doo
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bah bah dah ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Ready whenever
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you are, Steph.
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Practice your
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show and tell.
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Hi, boys and girls.
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My name is Stephanie Tanner.
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For show and tell today,
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I brought something cuddly
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cute, and adorable.
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May I present..
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May I present..
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My little baby sister
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Michelle Tanner.
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Michelle is a baby.
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Her hobbies
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are drooling and babbling.
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Under here
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is her diaper
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which I'm not allowed
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to change
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but I've seen people
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do it, and it's gross.
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Any questions?
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Yes, little girl?
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Does Michelle have a big sister
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who's really cool?
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Yes, she does.
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Me.
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That was wonderful.
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Steph, if I had
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a gold star
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I would stick it
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right to your forehead.
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Jesse.
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Hi, guys.
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- Bye, guys.
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- Wait a minute.
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- Jess.
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- Hmm?
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For the past five days
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you've been sneaking
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in and out of house
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carrying that blue bag
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with not one word
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of explanation.
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Uncle Jesse,
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it's driving me crazy.
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Just answer
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one question.
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Where do you go with
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that bag?
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- Out.
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- Out where?
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Outside.
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And that's two questions.
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Goodbye.
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Hello.
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I love everyone.
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I love you and you
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and you and you and you.
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[imitating Joey]
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I love you
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and you and you.
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What's the matter
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with you?
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Nothing. I got a call
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from my mom this morning.
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She found
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an old savings bond of mine
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in her safe deposit box
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and I now have
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5,000 founding fathers.
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- Yes!
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- Alright! Great!
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Yeah!
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Presents for everybody.
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Danny, get Michelle.
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- Alright.
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- Okay.
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You're first,
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my little toddlerette.
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Here you go!
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A little baby lawn mower.
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Oh, mow yourself silly.
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Now, if you're real good
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next year
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you get the little
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baby weed whacker.
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Okay, D.J., you're next.
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I'm afraid
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all I have for you
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is two brightly colored
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pieces of paper.
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Thanks.
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Oh, thanks!
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Oh, this is so rad!
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Springsteen tickets! Yeah--
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Hey, good seats.
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Need a date?
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Maybe.
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What's in your bag?
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Nice try.
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Me next! Me next!
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Oh, well,
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I'm sorry, Stephanie
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but all I have for you
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is a brand-new bicycle!
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[Stephanie screaming]
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Joey, you really
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shouldn't have.
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(Stephanie)
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'Yes, he should.'
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Thank you, thank you
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thank you.
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Thank you, thank you,
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thank you.
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Oh, wait a minute, Steph.
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No riding in the house.
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- Thank you, thank you.
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- Hold on. Steph?
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- Thank you, thank you.
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- Come on, Steph.
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We'll try it out
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in the back yard.
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I can't stop!
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Open the door.
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Okay, guys, don't go away.
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You got presents coming, too.
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Alright!
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Thank you. I'm through
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with that. Thanks.
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Dan, I, I hope Joey
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gets me a new motorcycle.
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That's be cool, huh?
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I already know what
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Joey's getting me.
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What's that?
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Eight hundred dollars in cash.
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Whoa, nice chunk
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of change. Why?
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Well, 11 years ago,
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I loaned Joey
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eight hundred dollars
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to fix his car.
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But he hasn't had the money
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to pay me back until now.
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Better get it fast.
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I don't want Joey's money.
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That fact that he is finally
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paying me back
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is such a beautiful
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and touching gesture.
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That's why I'm going to give
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the $800 right back to him.
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Aw, that's the most
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generous, stupid thing
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I've heard in my life.
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I don't care
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what's in the bag.
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Ohh!
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No!
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I shouldn't do it,
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should I, Michelle?
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What if..
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Look, Michelle..
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'...I've got a cookie.'
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Yeah, you want the cookie?
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They're yummy.
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Want some cookie?
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Yeah.
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Come get
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the yummy cookie.
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[gasps]
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Oops!
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The cookie accidentally jumped
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into the bag.
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Go find it!
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Unzip the bag, Michelle.
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Let's see
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what's in there.
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'Never mind the cookie.
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Get the zipper open.'
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'Let's see what Uncle Jesse's
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hiding in there.'
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'You found it!'
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May I help you?
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She did it.
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Shame on you,
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Michelle.
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Now you don't want
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to grow up
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and be a nosy
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busybody, do you?
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Your punishment
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is to give me one kiss.
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Come on, one kiss.
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Thanks for trying,
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Michelle.
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Guys, ready for your presents?
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- Yeah.
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- Oh, yeah.
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I've been ready
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for 11 years.
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Here you go.
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Jess and Danny.
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Thank you.
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Alright!
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A pass to the great
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American amusement park.
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A lifetime pass.
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Alright, Danny,
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open yours.
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Well, actually,
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I already kinda have
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a hunch
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what you got me.
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[laughing]
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A lifetime pass to the great
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American amusement park?
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Hey, we can double.
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- See you, guys.
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- See you.
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Danny, wait till you see
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the pinball machine I bought.
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You bought
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a pinball machine?
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A genuine 1964 Gumby
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and Pokey pinball machine.
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And the beauty
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part about it
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I picked it up
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for a mere 1,275 bucks.
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Joey, this is why
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you're always broke.
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Every time you have a nickel
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in your pocket you blow it.
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Hey, come on,
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lighten up.
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Joey, wait a minute.
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Wait a minute.
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Have you ever considered
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doing something
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with your money
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besides just throwing it away?
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- Oh, like what?
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- Like what?
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Like putting it
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in a savings account or
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or, or, or
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buying a T-bill
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or paying off your old debts,
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or investing in precious--
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Wait, wait, wait.
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Hold on. Hold on.
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Back up.
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You said old debts.
301
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,990
Danny, I don't have
302
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,990
any old debts. Be serious!
303
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,242
Who'd be stupid enough
304
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,242
to lend me money?
305
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:19,874
Me.
306
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,668
Oh, yeah.
307
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,668
That's a good one.
308
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:24,671
When did I ever
309
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:24,671
borrow money from you?
310
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:29,884
Palm Springs.
311
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:29,884
March 12, 1977.
312
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:32,553
Your car blows up again.
313
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:33,763
As usual, you're broke.
314
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,891
So I loan you
315
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,891
my last $800.
316
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,979
Oh, my God.
317
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:43,606
Danny, I completely forgot.
318
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:49,946
Why did you wait 11 years
319
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:49,946
to say something?
320
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,615
I was going to give
321
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,615
it two more years.
322
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,618
Danny, look. Here.
323
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,829
Just take the money back,
324
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,829
with interest.
325
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,914
- Just take the whole ball.
326
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,914
- I don't want it.
327
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,708
All I wanted was for you
328
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,708
to offer to pay it back.
329
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,794
Oh, sure, that's why you brought
330
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,794
up paying off my old debts.
331
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,587
- Here.
332
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,587
- Joey, I want you to invest it.
333
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,217
I am, I'm investing it
334
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,217
in getting you off my back.
335
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,551
Off your back?
336
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,844
- Yes.
337
00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:12,844
- I don't want it.
338
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,179
I don't want it either.
339
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,473
Hi-yah!
340
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,643
[imitating Elvis]
341
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,643
Thank you. Thank you very much,
342
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,643
ladies and gentleman.
343
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:21,811
You're a beautiful audience.
344
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:21,811
Thank you.
345
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,146
[knock on door]
346
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,399
- 'Uncle Jesse.'
347
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,399
- Hold your horses, mama.
348
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,900
I, uh, I mean, hold on.
349
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,861
(Stephanie)
350
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,861
'I've got something
351
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,861
to tell you.'
352
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,613
Hold on, please.
353
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,613
Please, hold on.
354
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,496
Come in.
355
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,915
Want to come see me
356
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,915
do my show and tell?
357
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,002
Girls, I'm very busy.
358
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,002
May I help you?
359
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,796
Jesse, can I talk
360
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,796
to you about--
361
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,137
Jesse?
362
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,431
Yes?
363
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:00,975
What's under your robe?
364
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,060
Daniel, you're entitled to know
365
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,978
a lot of things about my life.
366
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,522
But what a man has
367
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,522
under his robe
368
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,232
is his own business.
369
00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:19,702
Don't be cruel.
370
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:21,871
You're right.
371
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,457
What a man has under his robe
372
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,791
is none of my business.
373
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,710
Oh, this is so cool.
374
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,547
I should have looked
375
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,547
in that bag sooner.
376
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:32,090
Alright. Sit down.
377
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,552
I'm doing this tribute
378
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,552
to the king.
379
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,971
Show is called
380
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,971
"Rock & Roll Heaven."
381
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,514
I'm trying to save up some
382
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,514
money, I got some new songs.
383
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,807
I wanna make
384
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,807
some new demos.
385
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:42,267
It's only for a week.
386
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,436
I'm doing it tonight
387
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,436
and that's the last night.
388
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:46,605
Why didn't you tell us?
389
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,273
Well...I like to think of myself
390
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,857
as having my own
391
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,857
musical identity.
392
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,067
You know?
393
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,067
And..
394
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,735
I don't know.
395
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,735
I just feel..
396
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,821
I'm up there, you know.
397
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,821
I'm shaking, I'm wiggling.
398
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,491
I got to see this show.
399
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,951
- Me, too.
400
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,951
- Let's go!
401
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,495
No, no, no,
402
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,495
I don't think it's a good idea
403
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,829
you guys
404
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,829
coming down there.
405
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,456
Jesse..
406
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,416
...we just want to go there
407
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,416
to cheer you on.
408
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,126
Don't worry.
409
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,126
I promise.
410
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,961
Nobody's gonna
411
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,961
make fun of you.
412
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,380
Hey, Danny, uh..
413
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,136
[laughing]
414
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,393
[instrumental music]
415
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,606
♪ Time rolls on ♪
416
00:11:29,648 --> 00:11:31,358
♪ And youth is gone ♪
417
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,361
♪ And you can't straight up
418
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,361
when you bend.. ♪
419
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:35,778
Now, don't forget.
420
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,489
We're not gonna fight
421
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,489
in front of the girls.
422
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,616
I'm sure if I forget
423
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,616
you'll remind me.
424
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,576
Eleven years later.
425
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,037
♪ Tiffany's.. ♪
426
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,873
Check it out,
427
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,873
a Madonna lookalike.
428
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,501
No, honey,
429
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:49,501
that's Marilyn Monroe.
430
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,751
(D.J.)
431
00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:50,751
'Really?'
432
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,338
Boy, did she
433
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,338
rip off Madonna.
434
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:59,718
♪ I don't mean
435
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:59,718
rhinestones ♪
436
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,056
♪ But diamonds ♪
437
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,642
♪ Are a girl's best.. ♪
438
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,937
♪ Best friend ♪♪
439
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,857
Thanks, Marilyn.
440
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,857
Great stuff.
441
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,027
And now, Rock & Roll Heaven
442
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:16,027
presents..
443
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,405
the king of rock 'n' roll!
444
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,533
[instrumental music]
445
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,963
[cheering]
446
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,966
Thank you. Thank you
447
00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,966
very much ladies and gentlemen.
448
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,010
You're a beautiful audience.
449
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,010
Thank you.
450
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,970
I'd like to start off
451
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:42,970
with one of my biggest records.
452
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,847
It's about this big.
453
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,099
[whistle]
454
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,685
Thank you, sir.
455
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,685
Thank you very much.
456
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,270
Alright,
457
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,270
hit it, fellas.
458
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,109
♪ Well since
459
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,109
my baby left me ♪
460
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,861
♪ Well I found a new place
461
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,861
to dwell ♪
462
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,615
♪ It's down at the end
463
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,615
of lonely street ♪
464
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,825
♪ At heartbreak hotel
465
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,825
yeah ♪
466
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,828
♪ I get so lonely
467
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,828
baby ♪
468
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,123
♪ I get so lonely ♪
469
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:13,543
♪ I get so lonely
470
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:13,543
I could die ♪
471
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:16,170
♪ Die ♪
472
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,507
Yeah!
473
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,801
♪ Because I love you
474
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,801
too much ♪
475
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:26,180
♪ We're caught
476
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:26,180
in a trap ♪
477
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,057
♪ I can't walk out ♪
478
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:33,062
♪ Because my pants
479
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:33,062
might rip off baby ♪
480
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,522
♪ Yeah ♪
481
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:39,068
♪ We can't go on together ♪
482
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,861
♪ With suspicious minds ♪
483
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,280
♪ Suspicious minds ♪
484
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,575
♪ And we can't
485
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,575
build our dreams ♪
486
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:49,078
♪ On suspicious minds ♪
487
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,038
♪ We're caught in a.. ♪
488
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,125
♪ I can't walk out ♪
489
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,588
♪ Because I love you
490
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,588
too much ♪
491
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,215
♪ Baby ♪♪
492
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,843
[instrumental music]
493
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,306
♪ Hush little baby ♪
494
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,100
♪ Don't you cry ♪
495
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:17,064
♪ You know your daddy ♪
496
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:20,901
♪ Your daddy's
497
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:20,901
bound to die ♪
498
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,403
♪ Ahh ♪
499
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,783
♪ But all ♪
500
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,580
♪ All my trials
501
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:32,580
lord ♪
502
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:38,670
♪ Will soon be over ♪♪
503
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:44,759
[cheering]
504
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,975
[music continues]
505
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,027
♪ Glory glory ♪
506
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:07,156
♪ Hallelujah ♪
507
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:11,202
♪ His truth is ♪
508
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,037
♪ Marching ♪
509
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,915
♪ On ♪
510
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:23,631
♪ His truth is marching ♪
511
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,677
♪ On ♪♪
512
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,563
[instrumental music]
513
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,789
Oh, Jesse was great,
514
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,789
wasn't he?
515
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,498
Girls, wasn't your
516
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,498
Uncle Jesse great?
517
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,501
♪ Since my baby
518
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,501
left me ♪
519
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:03,296
♪ Well I found
520
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:03,296
a new place to dwell ♪
521
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,465
♪ Down at the end
522
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,465
of lonely street ♪
523
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,801
♪ At heartbreak hotel ♪
524
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,303
♪ I get so lonely
525
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:10,303
baby ♪
526
00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,472
♪ I get so lonely ♪
527
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,725
♪ I get so lonely
528
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,725
I could die ♪♪
529
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,184
(both)
530
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,184
Ha!
531
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,274
[imitating Elvis]
532
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,274
Thank you.
533
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,274
Thank you very much.
534
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,192
You're a beautiful audience.
535
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,571
Okay. It's time for all
536
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:28,571
Junior Elvi to say goodnight.
537
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,239
(both)
538
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,239
Thank you very much.
539
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,239
You're a beautiful audience.
540
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,199
(both)
541
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,199
Thank you very much.
542
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,199
Thank you.
543
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,661
Elvis has left
544
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,661
the living room.
545
00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,624
Aren't they cute?
546
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,750
- They're adorable.
547
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,750
- Ah.
548
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:44,003
Adorably cute.
549
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:44,003
Take your money.
550
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,506
- Will you stop it, Joey?
551
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:46,506
- Take the money.
552
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:47,882
Can't believe you're still
553
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:47,882
doing this. Knock it off.
554
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,259
I can't believe
555
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,259
you won't take it.
556
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,928
Hello, boys.
557
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:55,932
Hi.
558
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,142
- Hello.
559
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:58,142
- Hello.
560
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,603
Guys, I'd like you
561
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,603
to meet, uh..
562
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,021
I'm sorry,
563
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,021
I didn't catch your real name.
564
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,189
Marilyn.
565
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,983
There's a coincidence
566
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,983
for you.
567
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,818
Marilyn, this is Larry,
568
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,818
this is Moe
569
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,903
'and the little one's curly.'
570
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,783
Get this, the show offered me
571
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,783
the job as Elvis
572
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,326
for as long as I want
573
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,326
or until I..
574
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,453
[imitating Elvis]
575
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,453
Dislocate my hips.
576
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,205
- Hey, congratulations.
577
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,205
- Great.
578
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,375
- Congratulations.
579
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:22,375
- Thank you. Thanks.
580
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,378
I don't know what
581
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,378
I'm going to do, though, guys.
582
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,046
I mean, uh...
583
00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,046
tell me something, Marilyn.
584
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,506
I mean, doesn't it ever
585
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,506
get to you, you know
586
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,717
pretending to be
587
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,717
Marilyn Monroe?
588
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:31,885
Pretending?
589
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,679
I am Marilyn Monroe, silly.
590
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,644
- Yeah.
591
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,644
- Fine.
592
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,270
Sure. Yeah.
593
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,523
Uh, if you'll excuse us..
594
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,983
...Ms. Monroe..
595
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,860
...we have to put
596
00:17:47,025 --> 00:17:48,860
the baby to bed.
597
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,071
By the way, I loved your work
598
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,071
in "Some Like It Hot."
599
00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:56,242
Guess they're funny, huh?
600
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,789
Will you stop
601
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,789
bothering me?
602
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,500
I am trying
603
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,500
to make a sandwich.
604
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,086
I need a knife.
605
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,089
Knife, kn..
606
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,089
Ah! Knife.
607
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,303
Joey, allow me
608
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,303
to demonstrate
609
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,848
how a mature adult
610
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,848
constructs a sandwich.
611
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,475
Okay. Go for it,
612
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,475
Mr. Adult.
613
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,728
First, my friend, we start
614
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,312
with a clean knife.
615
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,024
We take two slices of bread.
616
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:31,444
On the left slice,
617
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:31,444
mayonnaise. Hmm.
618
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,864
And on the right slice,
619
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,864
mustard.
620
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,866
I'll bet you get
621
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,866
another knife.
622
00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,242
Have to.
623
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:41,871
Another clean knife.
624
00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,539
And then the mustard
625
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:45,583
we paint it on.
626
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,085
Hmm.
627
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,253
Now it's time
628
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,253
for the ham and cheese
629
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,131
and we alternate
630
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,131
ham, cheese
631
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,841
'ham, cheese.'
632
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,802
So that in every bite
633
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,844
we have an equal amount
634
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,763
of ham and cheese.
635
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,516
You don't need
636
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,516
therapy, do you?
637
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,601
Is that supposed
638
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:03,601
to be funny?
639
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,811
I knew you'd say that.
640
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:07,981
"I knew you'd say that?"
641
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,857
What is that
642
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,857
supposed to mean?
643
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,109
It means that you
644
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,860
are the most
645
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,860
predictable person
646
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,821
on the face
647
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,821
of this earth.
648
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,363
I know everything
649
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,363
you're gonna say
650
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,949
even before you say it.
651
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,159
- Oh, do you?
652
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,159
- Oh, do you?
653
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,536
See? You are so
654
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,536
paint-by-the-numbers
655
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,832
that, even if the slightest
656
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,832
little thing falls out of place
657
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,333
you can't handle it.
658
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,584
- That's not true.
659
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,584
- That's not true.
660
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,422
Well, let's just see
661
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:33,422
how true it is.
662
00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,926
[humming]
663
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,183
Look at that crumb.
664
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,769
'It's driving you nuts,
665
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:46,769
isn't it?'
666
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,480
Doesn't bother me.
667
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,858
Oh, no.
668
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,484
Doesn't bother you?
669
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,986
[laughing]
670
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,654
But what if..
671
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,614
[gasp]
672
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,828
There's two crumbs!
673
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:09,083
'They're getting bigger
674
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:09,083
and bigger and bigger.'
675
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,127
'Don't touch them.
676
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,127
They're alive!'
677
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,005
This place is a pigsty.
678
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,715
[imitating a pig]
679
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,425
Oh, sure.
680
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:18,425
Sure, make jokes.
681
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,302
Because everything
682
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,302
is a joke to you.
683
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,805
Mr. Comedian.
684
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,932
That's right.
685
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,932
You only go around once.
686
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,894
You might as well get
687
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,894
all the smiles in you can.
688
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,562
Smiles are great.
689
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,899
But you are almost 30-years-old
690
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,899
and you still watch cartoons.
691
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,692
It's like living
692
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,692
with Pee-Wee Herman.
693
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,111
[imitates Pee-Wee]
694
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,111
Well, sticks and stones
695
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,111
may break my bones
696
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,279
but names will never
697
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,279
hurt me.
698
00:20:41,032 --> 00:20:42,616
[screaming]
699
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:52,960
[screaming]
700
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,172
Joey!
701
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,341
Take this.
702
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,301
[screaming]
703
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,638
You are such a baby.
704
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,307
I know you are,
705
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,307
but what am I?
706
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,268
Okay. Let's settle this
707
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,268
like we used to
708
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,519
in the old days.
709
00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:11,771
- Arm wrestling.
710
00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:11,771
- Arm wrestling.
711
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,898
See? I know everything
712
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,898
you're gonna say.
713
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,734
Fine. Whoever loses
714
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,734
has to keeps the $800.
715
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,986
Sounds fair to me.
716
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,986
Okay.
717
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,530
- One, two three.
718
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,530
- One, two three.
719
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,616
I can't even remember
720
00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:23,616
the last time we did this.
721
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,410
June 22, 1979.
722
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,495
Why do you remember
723
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,495
all this stuff?
724
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,830
I don't want
725
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,830
the money back.
726
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,249
- Guys.
727
00:21:29,872 --> 00:21:31,249
- Stop it, I've had it with you.
728
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,374
- Joey, I don't want the money.
729
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,374
- Guys..
730
00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,334
Guys! Fellas!
731
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:36,963
There's something
732
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:36,963
a little more important
733
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,631
than what you're
734
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,631
arguing about.
735
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,758
Me.
736
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,427
Fellas, I'm confused.
737
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,304
I don't know whether or not
738
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,304
to take this Elvis gig or not.
739
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,098
I mean...I think
740
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,098
I should probably be
741
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,934
concentrating on my own music,
742
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:49,934
don't you?
743
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,685
I think you should
744
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,685
take the job.
745
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,272
You need the money
746
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,272
for your demo tape.
747
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,940
Jess, the only reason
748
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,940
you should listen to him
749
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,776
is if you lost a mitten
750
00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:58,776
when you were four.
751
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,320
As for the job, hey,
752
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,320
I saw you out there tonight.
753
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:03,156
You were singing
754
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:03,156
songs that you love
755
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,865
just having a blast.
756
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,075
That's why
757
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:06,075
you should do it.
758
00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:07,201
For fun.
759
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,494
- He needs the money!
760
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,494
- For fun.
761
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:09,745
- For money!
762
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:09,745
- For fun!
763
00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:12,665
- For money!
764
00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:12,665
- For fun and money.
765
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,208
Thank you, guys.
766
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:14,208
That's good advice.
767
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,501
I think I'm gonna
768
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,501
take the job.
769
00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:16,502
Thanks.
770
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:18,171
(both)
771
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:18,171
You're welcome.
772
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,421
- Don't say you're welcome.
773
00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:19,421
- Don't say you're welcome.
774
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:22,300
You know, I don't know what
775
00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:23,926
I'd do without you guys..
776
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:26,053
...but I'm gonna look into it.
777
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:35,313
You know, that was, uh,
778
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:35,313
good advice you gave Jesse.
779
00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,857
Thanks. I, uh, thought
780
00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,857
yours was great, too.
781
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,651
I think we really helped him.
782
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,654
Well, yes. That's 'cause
783
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,654
we make a great team.
784
00:22:44,822 --> 00:22:46,240
I guess that's why
785
00:22:44,822 --> 00:22:46,240
we've stayed friends
786
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,492
For 19 years..
787
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,452
...four months
788
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,452
and three days.
789
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,498
'Cause maybe
790
00:22:51,495 --> 00:22:54,498
I'm a little...square.
791
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,209
And I'm a little goofy.
792
00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,544
You know what?
793
00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:00,004
Between the two of us..
794
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,256
...we make
795
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:02,256
one hell of a guy.
796
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:03,716
That makes sense, I mean..
797
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,218
We've always been there
798
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,218
for each other, I mean
799
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,385
you were there when
800
00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:07,385
I needed that 800 bucks.
801
00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:09,013
And you were there
802
00:23:07,427 --> 00:23:09,013
when I needed to have somebody
803
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,224
help me take care
804
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,224
of my kids.
805
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:13,433
I can never repay you
806
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:13,433
for that.
807
00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:16,020
You never need to.
808
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,604
Danny, look,
809
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,604
a debt is a debt.
810
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,065
I just want to clear
811
00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,065
ours up, so here.
812
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,359
Please take the money.
813
00:23:21,399 --> 00:23:23,027
Okay.
814
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:24,653
Thank you.
815
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,366
But I'm buying you a savings
816
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,366
bond and a closet organizer.
817
00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:29,742
- No, you're not.
818
00:23:28,406 --> 00:23:29,742
- Yes, I am.
819
00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,451
- No, you're not.
820
00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,451
- It's my money now.
821
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,995
- Make your bed.
822
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:32,995
- No!
823
00:23:39,377 --> 00:23:42,462
[theme music]