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[instrumental music]
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Okay, boys,
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put down the crayons.
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I got to show you
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a great trick.
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Okay.
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Oh, Comet.
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[imitating bird]
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Oh, where's the birdie?
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Where is it?
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Go get it.
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[Comet barking]
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Go get it, Comet!
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Go get the birdie!
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[laughing]
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I got him again!
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[laughing]
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You tricked Comet!
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Yeah, but I could never
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pull a trick
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like that on you guys.
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No. We're too smart!
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Oh! Hey, look!
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[growling]
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Oh, my gosh!
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An invisible monster!
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- Aah!
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- Aah!
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- Aah!
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- Aah!
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Come on, boys,
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I was kidding!
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It was just a joke.
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Don't tell on me.
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- Gotcha!
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- Gotcha!
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I'm gonna get you guys.
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[laughing]
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♪ Aah aah ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there ♪
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♪ And you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waitin' ♪
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♪ To carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Dooby doo baa ba dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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I just, I can't believe it.
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I'm telling you.
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- They're fake!
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- Oh, my gosh!
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Uh, Michelle, do you think
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you could read
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that downstairs?
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Gia and I wanna talk.
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Nope.
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[sighs]
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Why not?
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I want to listen.
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Michelle?
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Fine, I'll listen
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out in the hallway
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like I always do.
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Guess what, Steph?
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Bobby San likes you.
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I knew it!
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He was chucking peas
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at me at lunch.
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You know,
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one of those little onions
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it hit me right
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in the back of the neck.
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I told you.
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Wow! An eighth grader!
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And he is so fine!
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So listen,
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I'm having a few people
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over this Friday night.
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My mom's working late
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at the diner..
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...we have the house
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all to ourselves.
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So this can be
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a real hot party.
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You know what I mean?
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Jalapeno dip?
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[laughs]
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Steph, you kill me!
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[both giggling]
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Anyway, I was...thinking
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of inviting Bobby for you.
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Would that be okay?
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That would be extremely okay.
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[groaning]
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Oh, hey, dad!
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How you feeling?
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[groaning]
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My dad lost his voice.
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I guess, when you use
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something too much
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it just shuts down.
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Kidding, dad.
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Laughter is the best medicine.
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Uh, dad.
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...Gia's having a party
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Friday night. Can I go?
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"Adult supervision?"
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Um..
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Mr. Tanner,
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my mom would never let me
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have a party without
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adult supervision.
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Which is why
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I didn't tell her.
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♪ Rush Hour Renegades ♪
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♪ Comin' at ya ♪♪
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Alright, that's right,
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We are the Rush Hour Renegades.
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I'm Jesse.
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I'm Joey.
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Joey, how many times
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have I told you
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finish your
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chocolate boing boing
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before you talk
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on the radio.
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Oh, our guest is here,
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our guest is here.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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it's Barry Williams.
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Barry Williams!
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Have a seat, Barry.
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- Barry, how you doing?
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- Beautiful!
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- Yeah, that's great!
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- There you go.
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You guys remember, uh,
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Barry as Greg
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from the "Dynamite Show,"
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"The Brady Bunch."
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We are huge fans and we gotta
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get right down.
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We got to ask you
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some great Brady questions,
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if we may.
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Well, guys, you know,
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those were great years
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but, I'd really rather
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talk about my new project.
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Kind of exciting, you know,
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the whole thing seems--
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Barry, we'll get to that.
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But listen,
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here's the deal, alright?
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Dad worked, right?
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Alice cleaned the house.
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What the heck did mom do, huh?
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Tell me, tell me, yeah.
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Hey, six kids,
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one bathroom.
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Any fist fights?
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- Well, It's not like--
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- Talk to me about this.
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What's the deal
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with those
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lad and dad perms
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you guys did?
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- I had one.
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- I got a perm.
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- My dad had one, just like it.
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- Guys, guys, guys.
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[whistles]
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- The whistle!
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- Alice used to do that.
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- Alice did that.
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- I'll tell you what.
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I'll tell you what, I'll answer
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all your Brady questions.
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But first, I wanna talk about
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the new band I put together.
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Oh, uh, putting the old Brady
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kids back together
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huh, there,
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with the polyester jumpsuits?
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Yeah, looks like,
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we better gas up
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the old eight-track machine.
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No, actually, I met
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some local musicians.
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We started jamming
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and one thing led to another
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and we put out a new CD.
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In fact..
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...I was hoping
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you guys would play it.
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Are you kidding me?
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Barry, It'd be an honor! Yeah!
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Alright, ladies and gentlemen
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we're gonna-we're gonna
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hear the latest right now
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from Barry and..
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...The Rippers.
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Well, now, isn't that
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a winkydink of a coincidence?
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Jesse was dumped by a band
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called The Rippers.
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Oh, I'm sure it was
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a different band.
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These guys got rid
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of their singer because he
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spent more time
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moussing his hair
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than playing his guitar!
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[both laughing]
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[mumbling]
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You try keeping this cowlick
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down with just gel.
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It doesn't work, man!
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Jesse, I'm sorry, man.
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I didn't know it was you.
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Look, if you don't want
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to play the song..
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- 'No, no, no.'
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- I understand completely.
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Barry, Barry, please, no.
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I'm above this.
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No-No, that's fine. Let's, uh,
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let's give this song a shot.
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That-That's fine.
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Ladies and gentlemen, uh..
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...here we go,
243
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here's the latest
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from Barry and...The Rippers.
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[music from CD]
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♪ A hundred Januarys gone ♪
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♪ And I'm still in my shell ♪
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♪ I could have made
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a string of pearls.. ♪
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I'd say, it's, uh,
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it's not bad, it's not bad.
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But, listen,
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Barry, buddy..
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...former Brady.
255
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'Listen, I've been in the music
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business for a long time, okay?'
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Nothing happens
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overnight, okay?
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♪ 'Cause I've seen ♪
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♪ The cabin fever setting in ♪
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♪ And all the April girls ♪
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♪ Well they never look at me ♪
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♪ No they never look at me ♪
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♪ But I love them anyway ♪
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♪ The empty pantry in my head ♪
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♪ Is about to overflow.. ♪♪
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Oh, Uncle Jesse!
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I'll-I'll just change
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the station.
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Oh, no, no, no, Deej.
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No, fine, really.
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- You don't have to.
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- No, I-I want to.
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They-they've been playing
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this song all day.
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♪ April girls.. ♪
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What are the odds?
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♪ I turn the dancing on ♪♪
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Pretty darn good.
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[speaking in foreign language]
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That's better.
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(man on radio)
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'Barry y los Rippers'
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[music from radio]
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You know, we never
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talk anymore.
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How was your day?
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Listen, I know you guys
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are trying to be sensitive
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but I'm totally
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cool with this, okay?
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But I liked
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The Rippers better
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when Uncle Jesse
295
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:39,626
was in the band.
296
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,420
Aw, that's sweet, munchkin.
297
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,213
Before they had a hit song
298
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,798
and everybody loved them
299
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,134
and they opened
300
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,134
for The Stones and they--
301
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,552
Wa-wa-wa, what?
302
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,552
they're opening for The Stones?
303
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,930
Only in the West Coast.
304
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,099
Uh, Michelle, I think
305
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,099
that's all the cheering up
306
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,310
Uncle Jesse
307
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,310
can stand right now.
308
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,186
- Gotcha.
309
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,186
- Mm-hmm.
310
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,313
Come on, let's go.
311
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,563
Thanks, guys,
312
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,563
but, listen.
313
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,023
You know, this is no big deal.
314
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,483
I mean, who needs a hit record?
315
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,069
In fact,
316
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:06,069
who needs music?
317
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,447
- You're gonna giving up music?
318
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,447
- Absolutely.
319
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,408
In fact, I may never play
320
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,408
another note as long as I live.
321
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,119
No, no, no,
322
00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:14,119
my life is full and rich.
323
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,703
And now it's time
324
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,703
to start concentrating
325
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,705
on the important things
326
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,705
in life.
327
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,249
So this decision
328
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,249
to give up music
329
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,708
has nothing to do
330
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,708
with all the hoopla
331
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,127
over Barry And The Rippers?
332
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,421
Hoopla? What hoopla?
333
00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:25,964
Barry is God!
334
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,592
Can you believe
335
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,592
they're opening for The Stones?
336
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:32,137
Yes, but only on The West Coast.
337
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,473
Come on, boys, let's go live
338
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,473
our full, rich life
339
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,100
somewhere else where we don't
340
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,100
have to hear that song.
341
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,480
(both)
342
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,480
♪ April girls ♪
343
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,191
♪ April girls ♪♪
344
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,320
Hey, how you feeling, dad?
345
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,071
Oh, he says
346
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,071
his throat feels better
347
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,906
but he still has no voice.
348
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:55,327
How did you know
349
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:55,327
the string bean said that?
350
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,911
Well, after working with him
351
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,911
all these years
352
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:58,246
on "Wake Up San Francisco"
353
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,747
we've developed
354
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,747
our own language.
355
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,376
I can practically tell
356
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,376
what he's thinking.
357
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,337
Well, I bet you can't wait
358
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,337
to get back to work, huh, dad?
359
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,215
Well, he says, "Rebecca is doing
360
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,215
such a great job without me.
361
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,633
"I don't care
362
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,633
if I ever get back.
363
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,677
"Huh, move over, Oprah.
364
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,804
Two thumbs up
365
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,804
for Rebecca."
366
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,142
Steph, dinner will
367
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,142
be ready in ten minutes.
368
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,852
Oh, thanks,
369
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,852
but I-I'm just gonna
370
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,396
have something at the party.
371
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,481
Uh, Deej, do you think
372
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,481
you could give me a ride?
373
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,773
Yeah, sure!
374
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,192
Dad?
375
00:09:35,616 --> 00:09:36,701
Got it, dad.
376
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,161
I'll drive as fast as I can
377
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,414
and pick up
378
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,414
really cute hitch-hikers.
379
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,876
It's fun,
380
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,876
isn't it?
381
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:48,713
[instrumental music]
382
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,549
[doorbell ringing]
383
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,301
Great, Stephanie's here.
384
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,221
- Hey.
385
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,221
- Hi!
386
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,972
Brought Pictionary.
387
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,307
Funny.
388
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,398
Steph, Bobby.
389
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,398
Bobby, Steph.
390
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,857
Have fun!
391
00:10:10,569 --> 00:10:12,446
Gia?
392
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,122
You want to sit?
393
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,206
Um..
394
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,707
...yeah, I-I guess.
395
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,506
Bobby, could you, like,
396
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,506
scoot over a little?
397
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,007
Sure.
398
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,186
Bobby, I just met you
399
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:45,186
two seconds ago.
400
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,063
But I've seen you
401
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,063
at school.
402
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:50,233
Didn't you feel that onion
403
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:50,233
I threw at you?
404
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,901
Well, sure, I did.
405
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,028
And don't think
406
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:54,028
I wasn't flattered.
407
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,863
But..
408
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,658
...shouldn't we, like,
409
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,658
talk or something first?
410
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,160
Shh!
411
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,788
Steph, this is not
412
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,788
a talking party.
413
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,039
If we don't start making out
414
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,958
everyone's gonna
415
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,958
think we're dorks.
416
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,628
Wait, wait, wait.
417
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,882
Come on, Steph,
418
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,882
don't you like me?
419
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,927
Bobby, I do like you,
420
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,927
but..
421
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,430
Then what's the problem?
422
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:21,764
I don't know.
423
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,891
Then why don't we kiss
424
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,891
while you figure it out?
425
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,941
Okay.
426
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,003
H-how long are we
427
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,003
supposed to do this?
428
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,088
Until everyone else stops!
429
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,634
One second.
430
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:01,012
Steph, what is wrong
431
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:01,012
with you?
432
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,806
Haven't you ever been
433
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,806
to a make-out party before?
434
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,559
Sure, I have!
435
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,312
Well, not an official
436
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,312
make-out party.
437
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:12,273
I'll take that as a no.
438
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,441
I'm sorry.
439
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,568
I didn't know
440
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,568
it was going to be
441
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,277
this kind of party.
442
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,574
Uh, it's just, I don't want
443
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,574
to make out with Bobby.
444
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,452
It...feels really awkward.
445
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,953
I'm really sorry, Steph.
446
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,456
Why don't I just call D.J.
447
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,456
and have her pick me up?
448
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,584
- Okay.
449
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,584
- Where's the phone?
450
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,043
Under Jason and Heidi.
451
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,679
Don't mind me.
452
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,311
[telephone ringing]
453
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,065
Deej, Deej, your phone!
454
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,902
[telephone ringing
455
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,071
[sighs]
456
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,071
Hello?
457
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,074
Deej, you've got
458
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:03,074
to come pick me up.
459
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,286
Gia's party turned into
460
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:06,286
this giant make-out session.
461
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,167
Oh?
462
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,628
Just come and get me.
463
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,794
And whatever you do
464
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,381
don't tell dad.
465
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,924
I kinda let him think
466
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,924
that Gia's mom
467
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,217
was gonna be here.
468
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,636
'Bye.'
469
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,225
♪ April girls ♪
470
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,560
♪ Well they never look at me.. ♪
471
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:33,438
Oh, no! Not again.
472
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,566
(man on TV)
473
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,566
'Yes, Jesse, again.'
474
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,985
That's Barry And The Rippers
475
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,985
with "April Girls".
476
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:40,654
The song that's been
477
00:13:39,026 --> 00:13:40,654
sweeping the country
478
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,905
'for the last two months.'
479
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,616
Two months?
480
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:45,824
Welcome to "Down Beat."
481
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,077
Tragic tales
482
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:48,077
of the music business.
483
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,913
Today, the story
484
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,913
of Jesse Katsopolis..
485
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,206
...The Lost Ripper.
486
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,626
I'm not lost,
487
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,626
I'm right here, pal!
488
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,294
We talked with Jesse's
489
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,294
friends and family
490
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,422
to find out more about
491
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,422
this truly pathetic figure.
492
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,509
Okay, alright.
493
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,509
So I married a failure.
494
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,135
I can deal with it.
495
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,805
But it's been really hard
496
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,805
on the boys.
497
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:09,015
They're so ashamed.
498
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,479
I don't know
499
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:14,479
where the reject is today
500
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,815
and frankly,
501
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,815
I don't care.
502
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,150
All that's left of him
503
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,150
is an Elvis doughnut-maker
504
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,986
and a mousse slick
505
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,986
on the couch.
506
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,364
I never really believed
507
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,364
he was my uncle.
508
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,615
I just thought
509
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,615
he was this guy
510
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:28,660
who moved in
511
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:28,660
and used our combs!
512
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:31,621
The day he left, he took
513
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:31,621
all the hairdryers.
514
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,541
But it's a small price to pay
515
00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,541
to have him out of our lives.
516
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,251
Happy blowing,
517
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,251
grease ball!
518
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,714
He always called me
519
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,714
munchkin.
520
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,632
I used to think
521
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,632
it was cute.
522
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,009
But then I found out
523
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,009
what it meant.
524
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:47,721
A short, funny looking person.
525
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,890
What a jerk!
526
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,394
I was Jesse's partner
527
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:54,394
on the radio
528
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:56,145
and his best friend.
529
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,356
Now, I'm dating his wife.
530
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,026
Boing boing, honey?
531
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,028
You bet, honey.
532
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,368
Last week,
533
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,368
in a "Down Beat" exclusive
534
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,245
'our tragicam
535
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,245
finally caught up'
536
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,538
'with Jesse Katsopolis.'
537
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:20,253
What do you people
538
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:20,253
want from me?
539
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,713
(male #1)
540
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,713
'Since you gave up
541
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,713
your music'
542
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,005
'you lost everything
543
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,005
you cared about.'
544
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,965
I don't need music.
545
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,260
My life is good now!
546
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,595
I mean, uh..
547
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,389
...sure, I've put on
548
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,389
a few pounds
549
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:35,685
and, uh...I've
550
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:35,685
developed this..
551
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:39,480
...nasty scalp infection.
552
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,149
But I'm getting it together,
553
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:42,149
alright?
554
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,278
I have a brand-new
555
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,278
beautiful fiancée.
556
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:48,989
Yes, indeed, I'm back
557
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:48,989
on top again, alright?
558
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,910
I'm the king of my castle!
559
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,953
'Where is that slob?'
560
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,498
Hey, baldy!
561
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,125
Gibbler!
562
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,168
You promised
563
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,168
to massage my feet!
564
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,629
I-I-I remember, sweet.
565
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,547
Uh, well,
566
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,547
you are my queen
567
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,216
so, up on
568
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:07,216
your throne.'
569
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,344
There you are again.
570
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,763
Get to work, you load!
571
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,181
My corns are ready to pop.
572
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,768
I know what
573
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,768
you're thinking out there.
574
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,562
But you can't have her.
575
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:19,562
She's all mine.
576
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,150
Whoa! Look at that one.
577
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:24,150
That one's really ripe.
578
00:16:24,191 --> 00:16:25,944
Oh, yeah.
579
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,696
My, it is ripe!
580
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,949
My life is good.
581
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,283
My life is good.
582
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,703
My life is good.
583
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,371
My..
584
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:44,211
Come on, Joey,
585
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:44,211
it'll be better in here.
586
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,345
How could you guys do this
587
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:52,345
right in front of me?
588
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,097
Joey got cream filling
589
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,097
in his eye.
590
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,557
Yeah, those boing boings
591
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,557
are really packed
592
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,518
under pressure,
593
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,518
you grab one and..
594
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,436
...you know, right into there.
595
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,772
So there's nothing going on
596
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,772
between the two of you?
597
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,065
Joey's just an idiot?
598
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,777
Is there a third choice?
599
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,863
I got to go change my eye.
600
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,113
Sweetheart, are you okay?
601
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,240
Oh, honey,
602
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,240
I had this horrific dream.
603
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,993
You know, I-I really do realize
604
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,703
I need music in my life!
605
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,912
I mean, next to you
606
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,912
and the boys
607
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,664
it's the most
608
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,664
important thing to me.
609
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,708
Well, I'd say you had
610
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,708
a very successful nap.
611
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,125
Yeah, well, I'll tell you
612
00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,125
something else.
613
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,211
I'm gonna stop obsessing
614
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,211
over this Rippers thing.
615
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,672
Otherwise, I'm gonna end up
616
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,672
a fat, pathetic has-been
617
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,256
with a scalp infection.
618
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887
By the way,
619
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,887
how is my hair?
620
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,179
Perfect, as usual.
621
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,306
Aw, honey, relax.
622
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,306
The dream is over.
623
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:39,934
I know.
624
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:39,934
I know, honey.
625
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,812
Hey, you guys got
626
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,812
any corn plasters?
627
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,480
[screaming]
628
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,069
[instrumental music]
629
00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,579
[doorbell ringing]
630
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,788
I'll get that.
631
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,123
Wouldn't want anyone
632
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,123
to lose their place.
633
00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:10,464
- Deej, is that you?
634
00:18:07,879 --> 00:18:10,464
- 'Open the door, Steph.'
635
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:14,343
Oh, Deej, I'm so glad
636
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:14,343
you're here.
637
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,678
Dad!
638
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,180
It's somebody's dad!
639
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,604
Dad.
640
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:26,689
I know you're angry.
641
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:29,609
Or this may be
642
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:29,609
a personal best for me.
643
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,946
- Mr. Tanner, hi.
644
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,946
- Hi.
645
00:18:32,987 --> 00:18:34,280
Gia?
646
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,323
Mom? Hi!
647
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,285
How nice, huh?
648
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,578
My shift ended early
649
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,039
so, you, uh, threw me
650
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,039
a little party!
651
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,249
This place is crawling
652
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,249
with parents.
653
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:46,918
Let's get out of here.
654
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,461
Let's go.
655
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,213
Hey, hey, hey!
656
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,213
Nice try!
657
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,676
Do you have any idea
658
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,676
what your daughter's been up to?
659
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:59,346
Do you have any idea
660
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:59,346
how ridiculous you sound?
661
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,307
Yes. I have laryngitis.
662
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,350
He belongs to you,
663
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,350
right?
664
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,019
- He's my dad.
665
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,019
- Mm-hmm.
666
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,062
That's right!
667
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:07,647
You two haven't met.
668
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,232
Mr. Tanner, this is Claire..
669
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,987
...my beautiful,
670
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,987
forgiving mother.
671
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,155
I don't want
672
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:16,155
to hear it, Gia.
673
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,365
I'll just go
674
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,365
to my room.
675
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,954
Steph, why don't you
676
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,954
just go to Gia's room?
677
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,667
I don't know if you realize
678
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,667
what's been going on here.
679
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,585
- Where are you going?
680
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,585
- I'm listening.
681
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,838
Keep squeaking.
682
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,297
Funny, I walk in here
683
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,924
there's hugging,
684
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,924
there's kissing
685
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,425
there's feet upon
686
00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,425
the furniture.
687
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,426
There's, you don't even--
688
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:38,761
[grunting]
689
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,721
Oh, that's horrible!
690
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,264
What is that?
691
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,264
I don't know where's it been.
692
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,683
I don't know what's in it.
693
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,059
I don't know if I can
694
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,059
operate heavy machinery now.
695
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,144
I don't know why
696
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,144
my voice is back.
697
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,145
What's in there?
698
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,105
Family secret.
699
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,439
So well, where were we?
700
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,483
Oh, yes, you were attacking
701
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,944
the way I raise my daughter.
702
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,863
No, I mean, how could you
703
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,238
not know that your daughter
704
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,782
was having a make-out party?
705
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,575
Well, kind of like the way
706
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,575
you didn't know
707
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,410
your daughter was going
708
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,410
to a make-out party.
709
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,163
kinda like that.
710
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,790
It's not my fault.
711
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,790
She lied to me!
712
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,416
Welcome to the club!
713
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,002
Oh, so there's a club now?
714
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,630
What is it,
715
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,630
"Parents Of Future Felons?"
716
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,800
Yeah, we have
717
00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,800
a secret handshake.
718
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,139
Look, I'm sorry.
719
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,849
I think, maybe it was easier
720
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,849
for me to get mad at you
721
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,476
than get mad at myself.
722
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,936
Well, we, you know,
723
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:28,936
could
724
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,271
just both be mad
725
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,271
at our kids.
726
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:34,817
That's a good idea.
727
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,194
You know, the truth is that, uh
728
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,361
Gia's had a really hard time
729
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,364
ever since her dad
730
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,364
and I split up.
731
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,366
You know, but lately,
732
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,366
she was turning around.
733
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,119
God, she quit smoking,
734
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,119
her grades got better.
735
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,830
Steph was having
736
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,830
such a good influence on her.
737
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,960
- Steph's a good kid.
738
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,960
- Gia is, too.
739
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,879
Well...I suppose
740
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,879
I should go in there
741
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,797
and talk to her.
742
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,716
Mm-hmm...well, just remember
743
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,802
when-when children seem
744
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:01,802
the least lovable
745
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,597
it means they need
746
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,597
love the most.
747
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,307
Do you always talk
748
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:07,307
like a fortune cookie?
749
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,603
Actually, it-it was
750
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,603
the thought for the day
751
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,438
on my Ziggy
752
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,438
desk calendar.
753
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,108
Well, when you go in,
754
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,108
would you send out
755
00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:16,483
my little co-defendant, please?
756
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:18,027
Yeah, sure.
757
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,403
You know, by the way,
758
00:21:18,069 --> 00:21:19,403
your, uh
759
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,488
real voice is kind of nice.
760
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:24,533
Thanks.
761
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,787
I'm a..
762
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:30,039
...I'm a single parent, too,
763
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:30,039
you know.
764
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:32,750
Hm?
765
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,418
I'll remember that.
766
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,508
[sighs]
767
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:50,851
Dad?
768
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,312
Listen.
769
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:54,605
I'm really sorry.
770
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,607
I messed up
771
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,607
big time.
772
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,234
Well, let's see,
773
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,234
you lied shamelessly
774
00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,486
you went to a make-out party
775
00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,486
you got in way over your head.
776
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:03,030
Yeah, I-I'd say, "messed up big
777
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:03,030
time" about covers it.
778
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:05,158
- I know.
779
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:05,158
- But on the upside--
780
00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:07,367
- There's an upside?
781
00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:07,367
- A small one.
782
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:11,413
You, uh...you did
783
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:11,413
the right thing.
784
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,873
I did?
785
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:16,418
Yeah. Calling home
786
00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:16,418
showed good judgment.
787
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,254
You got yourself
788
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,254
in an uncomfortable situation
789
00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:20,422
but you took control of it.
790
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:24,177
So does good judgment
791
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:24,177
cancel out shameless lying?
792
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,889
Steph, let me
793
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,889
put it this way.
794
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,267
Before it can soar
795
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,267
like an eagle
796
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,270
the young baby bird
797
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,270
must first stumble and fall
798
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,396
and spend two whole weeks
799
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:36,396
grounded in the nest
800
00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:37,940
with no TV.
801
00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:41,568
Hey, is that from
802
00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:41,568
your Ziggy calendar?
803
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:42,903
[laughs]
804
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,031
No, but I'm-I'm thinking
805
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,031
of submitting it.
806
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:47,283
Come on, sweetie.
807
00:22:47,325 --> 00:22:49,910
[instrumental music]
808
00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,169
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
809
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:07,136
[instrumental music]
810
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,649
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪