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[theme music]
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Okay, boys. Now, we have a bear,
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a camel, and an elephant.
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What other animals
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do we see at the zoo?
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We saw hot dogs.
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Uh, Nicky, I-I was thinking
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more of animals
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we didn't put mustard on.
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What are you guys doing in here?
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We live here, bemember?
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I'm baby sitting
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Nicky and Alex today
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and we're making
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a collage of zoo animals.
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Miraculously, some of it
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actually made it
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onto the paper.
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Look, let's get this place
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cleaned up, okay?
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The woman from the scholarship
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foundation is coming over
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to interview me this afternoon.
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This could help
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pay for my college.
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So you and the zoo crew skidoo.
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Boy, first scholarship
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for cranky state
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she's a lock.
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Maybe she needs a nap.
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[Jesse Frederick singing
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"Everywhere You Look"]
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there ♪
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♪ And your all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Hey, boo boo. Ha ha.
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Clear the track. Joey's back.
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Yes, Super Bowl Sunday.
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My favorite day of the year.
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Huh, just an hour
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till kickoff time.
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I've only missed six hours
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of the pre-game show.
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Ha ha ha.
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Joey, turn the TV off.
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You know something, Deej.
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I just got off the road
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playing comedy clubs
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and I gotta tell you,
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that is the funniest thing
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I've heard all week.
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What I mean is, can't you watch
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the Super Bowl in your own room?
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I'm using the living room
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for my scholarship interview.
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You're not gonna
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watch the Super Bowl?
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Your dad and Aunt Becky at their
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first shot on national TV
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doing the behind the scenes
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reports.
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I know. Uncle Jesse is taping it
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for me, so I can watch it later.
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- Joey, please.
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- Oh, brother.
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You know, it's a good thing
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I put new batteries
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in my Bullwinkle TV.
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You get great reception
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on those antlers.
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Thank you.
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Oh! Hors d'oeuvres.
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Oh, Joey, I'm glad you're back.
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Kids are gonna be here
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any minute.
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Kids? I'm not watching the
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Super Bowl with bunch of kids.
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That Bullwinkle TV
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is only so big, Jesse.
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You promised to take
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my science club
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on a field trip today.
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- I did?
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- Yeah, we both did.
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Months ago, remember?
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Oh, Jesse.
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I didn't realize we're supposed
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to take 'em on
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Super Bowl Sunday.
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Man, don't worry about it.
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I'm taping it.
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That way we can, uh,
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fast forward
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through all the boring junks
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and just watch Becky and Danny.
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Boring junk? You mean the game?
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Mm-hmm.
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Jesse, no way.
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I can't watch sports on tape.
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I-it's like how you can't
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watch "Viva Las Vegas"
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unless you're eating
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a deep fried peanut butter
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and banana sandwich.
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Oh, yeah, I see
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your point there.
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Yeah.
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Come on, guys. You promised.
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Yeah, she's right.
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We did promise.
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So, uh, drop your remotes,
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zip-up your coat
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we're going to museum. Come on.
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Oh, Jess, wait a minute, please.
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Can't you just take
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the kids by yourself?
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[kids cheering]
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Right. Yeah, these, these, these
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knee-nibbling, ankle-biting
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rug rats by myself?
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I think not. Stop touching
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the merchandise.
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- You guys are late.
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- Like it's our fault.
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Derek's mom won't take the mini
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van over the stupid speed limit.
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Mothers driving record
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is blemish free
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and she intends
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to keep it that way.
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Thank you very much.
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I heard the museum has
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a new super powerful telescope.
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If it's anything like
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my dad's telescope
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all you can see is
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a bunch of stewardess'
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lying around a swimming pool
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Well, I'm not disturbing inside
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into your home life, Aaron.
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I think it's time to hit
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the road. Come on.
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Wait, wait, wait a second.
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I can't believe nobody
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wants to watch
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the most important
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football game of the year.
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Joey, don't try to
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weasel out of this.
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Yeah, Joey.
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This is a no-weasel zone.
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Now, we promised these kids
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an afternoon of science and fun
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Gosh, darn, that's what
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we're gonna deliver.
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I mean, look at these
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innocent faces. You see 'em?
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'Well, most of 'em.'
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Well, what if there's a way
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where the kids could
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learn science
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and I could have fun?
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So you see, kids, this place
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is filled with science.
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It's just like a museum.
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No, it's not.
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It's "Weebs Sports Grill,
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a pleasant alternative
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"to your wife."
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Let's blow this place pop stand!
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- Yeah!
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- No, no, no.
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Kids, kids, now, we said
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we'd give him
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the benefit of doubt
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and that's exactly
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what we're gonna do.
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Where is the science,
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Mr. Wizard?
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It's-it's, uh..
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...right under
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your nose, it's, um
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take this pool table for example
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Newton's Law of Billiards.
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You see, the amount
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of force upon impact
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has a direct relationship
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to the distance
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in object that'll travel.
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[clears throat]
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And that, my friends,
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is science.
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That, my friend, is a scratch.
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Ah, do you know what?
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You suckered us long enough.
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You, me, the kids, we're all
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going to science museum.
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- Yeah!
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- Wait, wait, wait.
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'Wait a sec, Jess.'
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Come on. The game's
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gonna start any minute.
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Can't you just watch
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the kids for three hours?
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Joey, give it up, man.
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They don't wanna be here.
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Alright. Uh, kids,
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do you wanna play
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free games for
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the next three hours?
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[cheering]
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See, see. They wanna be here.
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Okay, I don't wanna be here.
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Jess, come on, please.
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I'll never ask for another favor
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again. I-I promise.
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I don't have to tape
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"Muppet Babies" for you again?
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Never!
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And when you have
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a bad dream at night?
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From now on, I'll holler up
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Danny's name.
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Come on, Jess, please. Please!
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- We'll get more sleep.
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- Oh, great.
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Alright, kids. Do you
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wanna play some games?
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- Yeah!
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- Let's go.
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Hey, Weeb. Give me 40 bucks
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in quarters.
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Uh, Jess, can I have 40 bucks?
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- Alright.
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- Ah. Change for 40.
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Great. Now,
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you watch the kids.
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- I'll watch the game.
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- Alright.
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You are the king.
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Oh, look at that one!
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Hey! Check out the babe
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on the pre-game show.
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Hi, I'm Danny Tanner.
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And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
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Hey, That's no babe.
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That's my wife.
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We're here on special assignment
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at the Super Bowl.
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When there's a break
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in the action
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and you don't have
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to go to the bathroom..
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'...we're gonna take you
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on an eye opening'
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journey behind the scenes.
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That's right, Danny.
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Right behind this door
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is the control room for
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Joe Robbie Stadium's
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state of the art
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scoreboard.
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That's right, Becky.
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And we're gonna go inside
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and give you
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an exclusive peek
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at what makes this
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computerized marvel tick.
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Who would've thought such a
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sophisticated piece of machinery
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could be run by a simple mop?
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Well, Danny, that doesn't seem
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to be the correct door,
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now. Does it?
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No, it doesn't, Becky.
291
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,544
I believe the correct door
292
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,088
would be down
293
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,088
that corridor
294
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,840
where I suggested we go to
295
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,840
in the first place.
296
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,801
Well, Danny, I have
297
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,801
a suggestion where you can go
298
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,595
but first let's go back
299
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,595
to Al, Dan, and Frank.
300
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,433
Oh...terrific job, Beck.
301
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,144
You see, when she smiles
302
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,144
she lights up a whole..
303
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,728
Where are all of the sweaty
304
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,728
football guys!
305
00:07:58,770 --> 00:07:59,938
Bring on the football guys.
306
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,023
The guys that
307
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,023
throw the thing..
308
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,358
Yes, what?
309
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,527
Uncle Jesse, this whole trip
310
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,527
is totally bogus.
311
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,862
I know, Michele,
312
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,862
but Joey's obsessed
313
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,239
with this football stuff.
314
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,949
You think I wanna be
315
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,949
here with a bunch of
316
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,493
loudmouthed, pea-brained
317
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,288
know-it-all jocks who could, uh
318
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,457
who could.. Who could
319
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,457
take this pool cue
320
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,542
and turn me into a Jess-kebab?
321
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,919
Michelle, uh, run along.
322
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,964
You-you don't
323
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:25,964
want to be privy to this.
324
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,842
Michelle, what is the
325
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,842
probability of our science club
326
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,095
actually doing something
327
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:32,095
science-related?
328
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,307
Yeah. Let's do
329
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:35,307
something scientific.
330
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:38,435
Besides, we're out of quarters.
331
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,896
Let's ask your
332
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,896
Uncle Slick for more.
333
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,399
Now might not be
334
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,399
a good time.
335
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,527
Gentlemen...I hate to bother you
336
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:51,448
but I-I seem to be losing all
337
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:51,448
feeling b-below my hairline.
338
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,782
Oh, good! That's better.
339
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:52,782
Thanks.
340
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,075
Good, yeah, thanks.
341
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,619
Hey, Joey, remind me
342
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,619
to kill you later.
343
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,538
Yeah! Yeah! Kill you later.
344
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,538
Great, Jess, sure.
345
00:08:58,579 --> 00:08:59,789
Idiot.
346
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,667
Hey, there's nobody
347
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:02,667
watching this TV.
348
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,378
Let's turn it
349
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,378
to the science channel.
350
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:08,006
It's 27. I memorized
351
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:08,006
the entire cable lineup.
352
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,884
Oh, here's the remote.
353
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,761
- Here we go! It's kickoff time.
354
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,761
- 'Yeah. Yeah'
355
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,096
(man on TV)
356
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,096
'It's a high kick into the wind'
357
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,098
'and it will be taken
358
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,098
at the goal line.'
359
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,933
(female on TV)
360
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,933
'...anything in nature
361
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,933
more fascinating'
362
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,269
'than the mating dance
363
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,269
of the blue-footed..'
364
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,563
[indistinct chatter]
365
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,648
Hey! Who turned the channel?
366
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,901
Yeah, who turned the channel?
367
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:27,901
I wanna thank him. Thank you.
368
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,362
It's those kids.
369
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,696
That's interesting.
370
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,824
This remote seems to
371
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:34,824
control all the TVs.
372
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,368
- Get that remote!
373
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,368
- 'Yeah!'
374
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,495
- No, thanks.
375
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,495
- I pass.
376
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,621
Come and get it, fun boys!
377
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,291
(male #2)
378
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,291
Get that little
379
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,291
whippersnapper!
380
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,085
(Joey)
381
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,085
Alright, just
382
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,085
we'll get it back.
383
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:46,461
'We'll get it back.'
384
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,046
Ha ha ha!
385
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,756
Alright, okay. No harm done.
386
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:51,383
Alright. I-I'll get the remote.
387
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,010
It's just a little, uh,
388
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,010
kickoff mischief, that's all.
389
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,679
Jess, help me, okay?
390
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,681
- Grrr!
391
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,681
- I-I-I'm sorry, Weeb. Sorry.
392
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,476
You had a piece of, a lint
393
00:09:58,723 --> 00:10:01,476
on one of your neck rolls.
394
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,396
I got it. I got it.
395
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,396
Fine. I got it.
396
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,440
Jess, help me get it
397
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,440
behind here, alright.
398
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,648
Okay.
399
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,359
- Yeah..
400
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,359
- There it is. There it is.
401
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,736
[whirring]
402
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,491
(male #3)
403
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,491
'Oh, man!'
404
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:20,661
I-I-I think I'm gonna
405
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:20,661
ask them to-to kill you first.
406
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,248
That way I'll be
407
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,248
able to watch.
408
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,042
On the, uh, on the plus side,
409
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,042
I-I found the remote.
410
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:27,627
[grunting]
411
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,004
Back! Back! This thing
412
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,004
needs batteries or somethin'.
413
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,631
Here, here. You try it.
414
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:33,758
[instrumental music]
415
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,931
[instrumental music]
416
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,225
[indistinct chatter]
417
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,602
Super Bowl Sunday!
418
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,979
[sobbing]
419
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,979
My biggest day of the year
420
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,731
and you guys
421
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,731
wreck the TVs!
422
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,525
All ruined!
423
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,488
Weeb, Weeb,
424
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,488
Weeb, Weeby.
425
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,323
Weeby, Weeby,
426
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,323
Weebula.
427
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,908
Weeb, Weeb, please,
428
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,908
please, Weeb.
429
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:02,203
It's-it's okay, Weeby.
430
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:02,203
It-it's just a silly game.
431
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,871
- Silly game?
432
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,871
- Ooh, oh-oh.
433
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,667
[panting]
434
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,667
I broke 11 bones
435
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,667
playing that silly game.
436
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,419
Oh, wow. Was it painful?
437
00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:11,254
I don't know.
438
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,089
They weren't mine.
439
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:16,092
Of course, they..
440
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:16,092
They weren't yours? No.
441
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,553
I-I wish I had
442
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,553
more insurance.
443
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,851
Hey, since you guys
444
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,851
can't watch the game
445
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,854
maybe you'd like to come
446
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,854
to the science museum with us.
447
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,025
That's a real good idea,
448
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:32,025
sweetheart.
449
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,487
Now we can stuff
450
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,487
and mount these clowns!
451
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,655
- Alright, no stuffing.
452
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,655
- Stuff 'em!
453
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:38,031
- No mounting.
454
00:11:36,695 --> 00:11:38,031
- No stuffing.
455
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,533
- No mounting.
456
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,533
- No stuffing.
457
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:40,783
I-I-I, uh..
458
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,619
- I have an idea.
459
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,619
- You do? He does.
460
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,621
- He's got an idea.
461
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:44,621
- Yes, I do.
462
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,747
[instrumental music]
463
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,878
Deej, hi.
464
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,672
[panting]
465
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,672
How'd your interview go?
466
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,298
I don't know.
467
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,298
I haven't had it yet.
468
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,924
The woman from
469
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,924
the scholarship fund called.
470
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,553
- She's gonna be late.
471
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,553
- Ooh, late.
472
00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,429
Late is bad.
473
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,640
- Turn on the tube!
474
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,640
- Let's go!
475
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,145
Watercress sandwiches!
476
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,145
Just like mom's!
477
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,855
Hey! Hey! Those are
478
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,855
not for you.
479
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,940
Deej, don't disturb them
480
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,940
while they're feeding.
481
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,109
Joey, who are these people?
482
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,070
Well, they're here because
483
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:17,070
they wanna see the game
484
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:20,031
and, uh, I wanna see
485
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:20,031
the rest of my life.
486
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,326
Some field trip.
487
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,828
Hey, what are you guys
488
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,828
doing back so soon?
489
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,165
Ask her. She promised us
490
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,165
the museum
491
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:32,293
but all we've seen is
492
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:32,293
a lot of wet bar change!
493
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,673
Like this is my idea
494
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,673
of a fun day.
495
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,593
I believe the blame rests
496
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,593
squarely upon the shoulders
497
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,802
of our adult chaperones.
498
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,306
What? Don't blame me. I was, uh
499
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,101
I was just tryin' to help out
500
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:48,101
football-brain over there.
501
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,645
Uncle Jesse, we've got
502
00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,645
to learn something.
503
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,732
After all, the motto
504
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,732
of our science club is..
505
00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:56,693
We've gotta
506
00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:56,693
learn something.
507
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,819
And I will teach you something.
508
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,614
Alright, I mean, after all
509
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,614
you guys are kids
510
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,449
I'm a grownup.
511
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:02,449
I should know more than you.
512
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,158
But you don't.
513
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,870
Well, I-I know
514
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,870
your parents would have
515
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,247
a lot more spending money
516
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,499
if you were in a crate
517
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,499
on your way to Siberia.
518
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,587
Why don't you teach 'em
519
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,587
to climb the stairs, okay?
520
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,422
My interviewer is gonna be
521
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,422
here any minute.
522
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,258
Please, keep them up there.
523
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,258
Keep them occupied.
524
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:24,095
And, Joey, Joey, get these
525
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:24,095
people into the kitchen.
526
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,306
D.J., are you out of your mind?
527
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,306
There's no TV in there.
528
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,848
What are we gonna watch,
529
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,848
the freezer?
530
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,477
[cheering]
531
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,396
Okay, our collage has
532
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,396
antelopes and zebras.
533
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,565
Can you guys think of
534
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,565
any other animals
535
00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:37,024
that travel in packs?
536
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,693
No.
537
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,404
[indistinct chattering]
538
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,156
I mean, yes.
539
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,993
- 'Come on, guys.'
540
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,993
- Who are they?
541
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,663
I think Joey brought
542
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,663
some friends over to play.
543
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,748
Hey, look!
544
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,748
It's that clown again.
545
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:53,792
[laughing]
546
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,460
Thanks for the second chance,
547
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,460
guys.
548
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,505
That's no clown.
549
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,505
That's my dad.
550
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,257
Well, as you can see,
551
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,257
we finally found the scoreboard
552
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,550
and it's clearly marked
553
00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:04,843
"Authorized personnel only."
554
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,887
Which is exactly
555
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,887
what we are.
556
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,766
So why don't we take an
557
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,766
authorized peek inside, Danny?
558
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,058
This is exciting.
559
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:13,770
[alarm blaring]
560
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,105
Um...well, I guess
561
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,105
we're not as, uh
562
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,816
authorized as we thought
563
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,816
we were.
564
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,442
So, uh, while we
565
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,442
straighten this out
566
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,027
why don't we
567
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,027
throw it back to you
568
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:24,405
- Ah, Al, Frank, and Dan?
569
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:24,405
- Dan.
570
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,658
- I thought you got clearance.
571
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,658
- Your job was clearance.
572
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,160
I made the dinner reservations.
573
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,371
- Oh, oh, oh!
574
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,371
- Uh-oh.
575
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,583
That joker's your dad?
576
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,169
[chuckles]
577
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,169
Uh, no, no. See.
578
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,880
You guys fell for the old
579
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,880
that's-my-dad routine.
580
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,298
Better watch
581
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,298
or I'll get your nose.
582
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,384
Oh, look, there it is.
583
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:48,346
You lovable lugs are just
584
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:48,346
too darn easy. Yeah.
585
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,806
Okay, boys,
586
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,806
let's go upstairs.
587
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:52,141
That was your dad.
588
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,019
Shh! That was also
589
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,019
your mom.
590
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,813
- Shh!
591
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,813
- Shh!
592
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,652
So-so you see, kids,
593
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:02,652
it's simple science, okay?
594
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:06,113
I mean if you get the proper
595
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:06,113
pH balance in your shampoo
596
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,490
when you get to this stage
597
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,076
you see, your scalp
598
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:10,076
should be what, Derek?
599
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:13,162
Tingling like
600
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:13,162
pins and needles.
601
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,582
Precisely. Okay.
602
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,167
Always use the fingertips
603
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,167
to massage in the shampoo
604
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,919
never the butt
605
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,919
of the hand, you see?
606
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,504
Fingertips, yes.
607
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,504
Butt, Derek?
608
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,923
- No.
609
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,923
- 'Correct.'
610
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,509
This concludes our little
611
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,509
scientific presentation.
612
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:27,968
Kids, what have you
613
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:27,968
learned today?
614
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,096
That Joey is the smart one.
615
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,475
At least he's watching
616
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,475
the Super Bowl.
617
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:38,312
Yeah. Who cares
618
00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:38,312
how split ends split?
619
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,647
Today's shot.
620
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,691
Let's go downstairs
621
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,691
and watch the game.
622
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,860
We can watch
623
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,860
Derek's shampoo anytime.
624
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,863
What? Kids, kids, if I can
625
00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,863
stress anything, it's condition.
626
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,908
It really is, condition,
627
00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:49,908
condition, condition.
628
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,662
Where's the TV?
629
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,582
And all those guys
630
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,582
with no lives?
631
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,877
Uncle Jesse, you're supposed
632
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,877
to keep them busy upstairs.
633
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,545
I tried, but kids these days
634
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,923
you know, they'll spend
635
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,923
two, three on their homework
636
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,257
but you try to spend
637
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,257
five minutes
638
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,967
on proper scalp maintenance
639
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,428
and-and-and they look at you
640
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:10,428
like you're some kind of nut.
641
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:13,347
That's the look.
642
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,432
Uncle Jesse, please
643
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,183
she's gonna be here any minute.
644
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,936
- What am I gonna do with them?
645
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,936
- Take them into the kitchen.
646
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,103
Alright, come on, kids.
647
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,605
You little
648
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,605
beauty school dropouts
649
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,189
follow me into the kitchen.
650
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,189
Right this way.
651
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:27,153
I seem to have been left
652
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:27,153
high and not quite dry.
653
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,280
Out, out, out!
654
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,907
Come on, come on, out, out!
655
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,117
- Sit down, sit down!
656
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:33,117
- Sit down!
657
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,036
Out, out, out!
658
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,580
[knock on door]
659
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,836
Hey, there's a lady out there
660
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:42,836
with a briefcase.
661
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,337
That's my interview.
662
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:45,630
Out! Everybody, out!
663
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,089
Out! Out! Joey, get 'em out!
664
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,008
Alright, I know the drill.
665
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,008
Road trip!
666
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,426
Let's go! Come on!
667
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,345
[indistinct conversation]
668
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,722
We're missing the game!
669
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,722
We're missing the game!
670
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,182
[knock on door]
671
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,104
I-I'll be right there.
672
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,815
Just one second.
673
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:10,947
Hello. I'm Norma Bedrosian.
674
00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,573
Hi. I'm D.J. Tanner.
675
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,116
I parked in back
676
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:14,116
if that's okay.
677
00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,994
Oh, yeah, no problem.
678
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,745
[groaning]
679
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,957
Ah! Would you excuse me
680
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,957
for just one second?
681
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,588
Shut up!
682
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,967
Ahem. Sorry, I just had
683
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,967
to clear my throat there.
684
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,636
- Uh, please have a seat.
685
00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:33,636
- 'Thank you.'
686
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,100
You know, we at the scholarship
687
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:40,100
foundation are interested
688
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,979
in people who are serious
689
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,979
about their academic careers.
690
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,522
Oh, you and me, both.
691
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,232
Lot of students go out
692
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,232
to school and think
693
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,651
that college
694
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:48,651
is just one big party.
695
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,444
Oh, no, not me.
696
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,572
I-I don't even think
697
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,572
about partying.
698
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,615
I don't even know
699
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,615
anyone who parties.
700
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,911
Deej, there you are.
701
00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:00,914
Why didn't you tell me
702
00:17:57,952 --> 00:18:00,914
you were having a wild party?
703
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,665
Do I know you?
704
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,209
Oh, you must be
705
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,209
the scholarship babe.
706
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,005
Hey, if you've got
707
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,005
any extra bucks
708
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,506
throw a little cash my way.
709
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,509
I'm gonna graduate
710
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,509
magna-come-and-get-her. Ha!
711
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,888
Who is this young woman?
712
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,933
Oh, I'm D.J.'s best pal.
713
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,183
We're inseparable.
714
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,437
We belong together
715
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:24,437
like Spam and Tang.
716
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,940
Spam, out.
717
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,940
Out, out.
718
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,441
See ya, Tang.
719
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,278
[indistinct chatter]
720
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,697
Miss Tanner, is it possible
721
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,784
there's a Super Bowl party
722
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,784
goin' on in there?
723
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:38,993
Uh, no, I-I don't think so--
724
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,537
- 'Touchdown!'
725
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,537
- Yeah!
726
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,164
Yes.
727
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,499
But it's not my party.
728
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,251
I-I don't like football at all.
729
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,878
I'd much rather study.
730
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:53,132
Football's just so barbaric
731
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:53,132
and stupid and pointless.
732
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:56,052
What a shame
733
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:56,052
because I love football.
734
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,220
As do I.
735
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,555
You didn't let me finish.
736
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,015
If my car hadn't broken down
737
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,267
I'd be watching
738
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,267
the game right now.
739
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,936
Let's cut to the chase,
740
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,936
Miss Tanner.
741
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,186
Your grades are excellent
742
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,688
your essay was superlative.
743
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,649
You got the scholarship.
744
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,776
Mrs. Bedrosian, thank you. I--
745
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,653
I'm sure you'll make us
746
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,653
all very proud, dear.
747
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,738
- Now to the game.
748
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,738
- Right.
749
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,826
Nacho cheese!
750
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,826
You gotta love it.
751
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,704
Any room in here
752
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,704
for another football fan?
753
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,205
- Norma!
754
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,205
- Norma!
755
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,457
What you guys doing here?
756
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,959
Why aren't you at Weeb's?
757
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,004
All because of
758
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:31,004
Beavis And Butt-head here.
759
00:19:31,045 --> 00:19:32,254
Hey, hey. Don't blame Beavis.
760
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,048
This is all Butt-head's fault.
761
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,676
[imitating Butt-head]
762
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,676
Huh-huh huh-huh huh-huh.
763
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,887
Okay. Okay. Come on.
764
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,887
It didn't work out so bad.
765
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,556
It's a.. It's a great game,
766
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:42,556
and everyone's having fun.
767
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,558
[indistinct chatter]
768
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,226
Yeah, right.
769
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,648
Well...not everyone.
770
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,566
- I'll get it.
771
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,566
- Yeah, I'll go..
772
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,568
- Excuse me.
773
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,568
- I'll go with you.
774
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,696
No, I'll stay and watch
775
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,696
the rest of the game.
776
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,160
Hey, Michelle.
777
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,829
Hey, listen, you and I have
778
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,829
to have a little talk, okay?
779
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,207
I'm sorry. I know you're
780
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,207
a little disappointed
781
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,543
about not going
782
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,543
to the science museum today.
783
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,879
A little disappointed?
784
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,254
I was a little disappointed
785
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,382
when they stopped
786
00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:16,382
making the McRib.
787
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,551
Right now,
788
00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:18,551
I'm a lot disappointed.
789
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,303
Okay, a lot disappointed.
790
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:22,680
Okay, I can deal with that.
791
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,515
Alright.
792
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,975
I know.
793
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,061
[sighs]
794
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,104
Michelle..
795
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,565
...sometimes things
796
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,565
don't always work out
797
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,233
the way you planned.
798
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,070
You're just gonna have to
799
00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:37,070
learn how to handle that.
800
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,821
Do you understand,
801
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:38,821
sweetheart?
802
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:42,200
I think so, like if someone
803
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:42,200
wanna watch the Super Bowl
804
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,160
but promised
805
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,160
to do something else
806
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,328
they should learn
807
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,328
how to handle that?
808
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:49,207
Ooh. This little lesson
809
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:49,207
just took an unexpected turn.
810
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,332
[sighs]
811
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,336
Yeah, I guess I was
812
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:54,336
a little selfish, huh?
813
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,421
I guess so.
814
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:56,923
[dramatic music]
815
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,799
Oh, boy. I ruined your day.
816
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,300
I ruined everyone's day
817
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,300
just 'cause I was
818
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:03,303
obsessed about, uh,
819
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:03,303
silly old football game.
820
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,682
I don't get it. What's the
821
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:06,682
big deal with the Super Bowl?
822
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,642
Well, it's exciting. It's fun.
823
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,854
It's the biggest day
824
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,854
of aerosol cheese consumption
825
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,606
in the world.
826
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,693
Uh, but that's no excuse.
827
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,947
The most important thing
828
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:20,947
is keeping a promise..
829
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,406
I apologize, Michelle.
830
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:23,699
I'm sorry.
831
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,120
Hey, look, let's forget
832
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:27,120
about the Super Bowl.
833
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,746
If we hurry, we can
834
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,746
get over to the museum
835
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,289
and learn about the atom
836
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,417
and still have time
837
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,417
to make fun of Einstein's hair.
838
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:36,129
Thanks, Joey, but I think
839
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:36,129
it's too late.
840
00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:38,631
Maybe we can go next week.
841
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:40,049
Deal.
842
00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,467
Early in the morning?
843
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:42,802
Sure, why not?
844
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,428
For the whole day?
845
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,430
Till they throw us out.
846
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:49,600
Good. I think we understand
847
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:49,600
each other now.
848
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,269
I think so.
849
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:55,022
But later tonight I want you
850
00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:55,022
to think about our little talk.
851
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,232
I'll be thinking.
852
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,484
- 'Touchdown!'
853
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,484
- 'Yeah!'
854
00:21:58,525 --> 00:21:59,777
[cheering]
855
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,238
Ooh, boy, that sounded
856
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,238
like a big play.
857
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,449
Well, it is the Super Bowl.
858
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,203
- What are we waiting for?
859
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,203
- Let's go! Come on!
860
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,622
It's the Super Bowl.
861
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,125
[instrumental music]
862
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:16,252
[indistinct chatter]
863
00:22:23,968 --> 00:22:26,929
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪♪