Hey Deej, wait until you see
the prom dress I just bought.
It is so me.
Is that a good thing?
Are you kidding?
Well, of course I haven't
bought the batteries yet.
Duane is gonna love it.
Wow, you have a date
and a dress.
So far my prom is looking
like a bag of chips
and our remote control.
Deej, you spend your whole year
dating Nelson and Viper.
Nobody knows
you're available.
I'll put the word out.
You're not gonna do
anything tacky, are you?
Of course not.
Let me borrow
your magic marker.
Kimmy, I don't want my name
on a locker room wall.
Right,
initials and phone number.
No, Kimmy! Kimmy!
Kimmy, give it back!
[theme music]
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look
everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody
who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're
lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' ♪
♪ To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪♪
(female instructor)
'Heels down, Michelle, look up
and open up your shoulders.'
'Look at your fence
and give your pony'
'enough time
to see that fence.'
'Good, open up
your shoulders, look up.'
[horse neighs]
'Good.'
Hey Michelle,
you're doing great.
Thanks.
You see, all those quarters
we pumped into that little horse
in front of the supermarket
really paid off.
I'd be even better if I didn't
have to share time with Joey.
'Okay, Michelle, heels down..'
Hey, well,
let's see..
Riding hat, riding pants,
riding boots.
Wild guess.
You were riding?
And jumping.
She did great.
I don't know, Becky
there's something
about being around horses
that just
makes you wanna
shower and shower again.
- Hey, Aunt Becky.
- Hey, Steph.
You're usually home
from school before this.
Well, I stayed late to work
on my scene for drama class.
It's so cool.
We're doing the balcony scene
from "Romeo and Juliet."
And I'm Juliet,
and Andrew Berkley is my Romeo.
He's a total babe.
You know, I did that play
in junior-high.
It wasn't
a lot of fun though.
Well, I went
to an all-girl's school.
In fact, I was Romeo.
Well you see,
the only problem is
whenever we get
to the kissing part
he just stops.
That's because
you have dry lips.
Excuse me, but I do not
have dry lips.
Oh, yeah? They look like
two sun-dried Gummy Bears.
Steph, don't listen to her,
your lips aren't..
You might wanna think about
breathing through your nose.
Chap Stick,
I need Chap Stick.
Hey, Beck, guess what
two whacky DJ's
have an audition for their own
late-night whacky TV-show?
Casey Kasem and Howard Stern?
No, and no.
I will give you a hint.
One of them is the father
of your children.
But I said Howard Stern.
No, it's us.
We came up
with a great concept.
Joey, tell her.
You see, Beck..
each week we'll go
to an unusual location
and meet with unusual people,
with unusual jobs.
We'll get to experience
just what it's like to be..
[imitates Daffy Duck]
...unusual!
Oh, I think you pretty much
got that part down.
You see, for our audition,
we're gonna tag-team wrestle
Sven and Ingemar,
the Swedish Spleen Stampers.
Here's something, Jess,
if we're gonna be on live TV
with professional wrestlers,
I better go find my tights.
Cause if not, I'm gonna
have to shave my legs.
God, I hope he finds 'em.
Well, honey, I think
that this is great
but are you sure you have time
for another project?
Honey, we're talking about
my own TV show here.
Yeah, I know, but you already
have your own radio show
your own band, your own club,
and your own kids
and your own wife
who likes to see you
more than 12 minutes a day.
Well, there's some things
we'll always have time for.
(Joey)
'Hey Jess!
Can I borrow your razor?'
Gotta go.
Hey, Deej, great news.
I've had a healthy response
to my search
to find you Mr. Right.
Call it in, boys!
Kimmy, what did you do,
raid a "Star Trek" convention?
Hey, don't start
getting picky now.
By the way, are you a stickler
for stuff like personal hygiene?
Call me weird, but yes.
Rats! Bachelors two and five,
hit the showers.
Congratulations, Kimmy,
you've hit an all-time low.
Come on, Deej,
at least talk to them.
You've got nothing to lose.
Except my dignity.
That's the attitude!
So..
Try not to startle them.
Um, have any of you guys
ever been to a dance?
With a woman?
Who wasn't in your family?
Okay, thank you.
We'll get back to you.
Okay, boys,
haul it back out.
Where are you going?
I'm driving the van.
I gotta get 'em back
for their allergy shots.
- Hi.
My name is Elizabeth.
And that's my horse,
Sir Reginald the Third.
I am Michelle.
And this is my horse,
Old Pepper Mill, the rented.
Are you going to be in the
jumping competition next week?
It's really cool.
Sounds like fun.
What do you think,
Pepper Mill?
If you like the idea,
just stand there.
He loves it.
Great!
I'll see you there.
[horse whinnies]
Hey, honey, you were
fantastic out there.
You know what, I think
maybe you missed a spot.
Let me please.
When you're done
with that horse
could you comb out
my little girl's?
I'm a parent,
not a groomer.
Oh, I'm sorry, you just
had the air of stable help.
In that case, I'll take
the dollar, thank you.
Dad, guess what.
There's a jumping contest
next week.
And I really wanna be in it.
So does Pepper Mill, he
practically begged me.
I don't know, Michelle,
you just started jumping.
To enter one of
those contests
you need a whole
formal riding outfit.
That costs a lot of money.
I don't mind.
Yeah, I'm sure you don't.
But before I make that kind of
commitment, I wanna make sure
you're gonna stick with riding
longer than you stuck with
ballet, and soccer,
and raising sea monkeys.
I think you're making
a very wise decision.
Thank you. I 'm sure as a
parent, you'll understand.
Oh, absolutely.
Losing a competition
can be very traumatic
for a young child.
I think you're missing
my little parenting point here.
Now, this isn't about
winning or losing.
[laughing]
Of course it isn't.
Especially if you're losing.
You wouldn't wanna get
her hopes up for nothing.
I-I don't know if you saw
Michelle riding out there
but if she entered the
competition, she could win.
Enjoy your little fantasy,
because in reality
my Elizabeth wins
this competition every year.
Oh, really?
Well, not this year.
Because Michelle Tanner
is gonna kick your butt.
Come along, Elizabeth.
This is why you
don't go to public school.
Come along, Michelle,
we're going shopping.
But dad, I thought
you don't want to spend
all that money on new stuff.
Yes, but that's before I was
just reminded how much money
we're gonna save by sending
you just to public school.
- Hey.
- 'Hey, dad.'
Oh, camera and a saddle.
Big date tonight?
No.
This saddle is gonna be ridden
by the best-dressed rider
in the Bayview Junior
Equestrian Competition.
I proudly give you
the lovely Michelle Tanner.
Wow, Michelle.
Hey, if we gave you a lantern
you could stand out
on the front lawn.
Thanks for buying me
all this stuff, dad
but what if I don't win?
Don't worry about it,
sweetheart.
Winning is not everything.
I'm glad to hear that.
Yeah, as long as you beat
that Elizabeth girl
with that loud mouth mother.
[knocking on door]
I-I-I'll get that.
Michelle, scram.
- Oh. Hi, Andrew. Come in.
- Hi.
So, um, you all ready to
rehearse a little Shakespeare?
You bet. I've been reading
the play all day.
Yeah. Me too.
Do you understand it?
- Not a word.
- Me, neither.
Michelle. I said "out."
Why do I have to leave?
Because I said so.
You know, Steph, it might be a
good idea to have an audience.
Exactly what I was thinking.
So, um, why don't we take it
from where we left off.
Right before the kiss.
Now this I've got to see.
"My bounty is as bountless
as the sea, my love is deep.
"The more I give to thee,
the more I have
for both are infinite."
Uh, this is where you
scale the balcony.
But for now you can
just use the stairs.
Right.
I hear some noise within,
dear love, adieu.
And we kiss.
End of scene.
I knew it, dry lips.
Excuse me?
That's okay, I don't blame you.
It's like kissing a cactus.
- Michelle!
- What's the big deal?
I didn't tell him
you have a crush on him.
Pardon me, Andrew,
whilest I breaketh her bones!
- Dry lips, dry lips.
- Shut up.
'Why don't you guys
work this out?'
- 'Um, see you later, Steph.'
- Listen, Andrew.
But..
Michelle, I can't believe
you would do this to me!
I'm never gonna forgive you.
I guess dry lips
make people cranky.
Uncle Jesse, can we talk?
Absolutely, but not right now.
I got too many things going on.
Joey and I gotta
work on some holds
for this wrestling thing
we're doing.
Is it important, munchkin?
Well, I'm just really worried
about this jumping competition.
Oh, don't worry about it.
You're gonna be great.
You're gonna knock them dead,
you gonna kill them, you gonna..
You're gonna do whatever it is
you do at those competitions.
Jump.
Oh, yeah. Okay,
you're gonna do that.
Well, I'm glad you're gonna
be there on Saturday.
Well, hold that
gladness, shorty.
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to make it.
I've got so many
things going on.
I got the.. I've gotta
do the books for the Smash club.
I've got to rehearse the band,
I got to find a new band
for the Smash club. I got to do
this wrestling thing with Joey.
I don't think I even have
time to finish this sentence.
You just did.
Oh, you see?
I'm behind already.
I'm sorry, kiddo,
you'll be great.
Ah, behold.
The Masked Marvel!
It's more like
the Masked Meat-head.
Come on, Jess,
we're gonna be in the ring
with professional wrestlers.
We gotta look the part,
everything's gotta be
big and theatrical.
Now, throw another pillow
on this couch
and check out this entrance.
Aargh!
'Aargh.'
Aargh!
[Joey screaming]
[Joey grunts]
- Joey.
- Yes?
You wanna, you wanna
just skip the entrance?
Okay. Yeah, I think so.
That's a, that's a
good idea, Jess.
Get up, get up.
We gotta practise some
wrestling holds here
so we don't look like
fools in the ring, okay?
- Okay.
- I'm over here.
- You're over there.
- Right.
Now, come over here. I wanna put
you in a little headlock here.
- Okay.
- Bend over.
[groaning]
Can we play too, daddy?
Boys, we're not playing,
we're working.
You got a weird job.
That's 'cause I have a weird
partner. Alright, what's next?
Now, Jess, I do
what's called an escape.
Which is?
[Joey shouting]
Aargh! Aargh! Aargh! Aargh!
Aargh!
[growls]
Hey, are you okay?
I think I bruised a sideburn.
- We'll help you, daddy.
- No, no, no, boys.
Don't help, okay? Just,
just go sit down over there.
You're no fun anymore.
Boys, there's time
to have fun
and there's a time
to be serious.
Right now it's time
to be serious.
Joey, put your ankle
in my arm-pit.
No, Jess,
let's try this.
Lay down flat on the mat
and put one of your legs
up in the air.
Nothing personal.
Okay. Alright.
Now, that leg up in the air.
I come over like this,
I grab your foot
I put my leg over like this,
I put that hand there and then..
Ow, ow. Why are you
twisting my ankle?
- So that this will feel good.
- What?
- Aargh!
- Oh!
You got my legs all locked up.
That's the name, leg-lock.
How do we un-lock 'em?
Well, either I put my foot
around your neck like this..
And..
Oh, ow, ow, ow.
This isn't working.
The other way is to, um,
get the big book
of wrestling holds off my bed
and see what it says.
Boys, boys, here's your chance
to help daddy.
Run upstairs, and get
the big book off Joey's bed.
Sorry, you said don't help.
Let's go, brother.
(Jesse)
Boys, b..
Joey, this is all your fault.
Come here so I can
smack you on the head.
Come here, come here.
Come here.
(female announcer)
'Welcome to Bayview
Equestrian Center.'
Hi, Michelle.
Hey, Elizabeth, I wanted to
wish you good luck today
and tell your horse too.
Thanks, good luck
to you guys too.
Hey, beautiful, how's my
favorite junior jumper?
I'm okay, but old Pepper Mill
could use a pep talk.
Ah. I can handle that.
Alright, Pepper Mill
I am gonna tell you the same
thing my beloved track coach
told me right before my
very first big track meet.
Tanner, you keep those
water bottles filled.
[horse grunting]
Might not apply here, hon.
Oh, there's my little champion.
Now, listen. Don't forget.
After you win we're going out
for a big, victory dinner. Hmm?
Michelle, after you win
we're going out
for a big victory dinner,
and a victory movie.
Now, Elizabeth..
remember what your instructor
told you about visualizing.
Picture yourself jumping
and clearing the hurdles.
Michelle, you picture yourself
jumping and clearing
those exact same hurdles,
only jumping higher and faster.
How dare you steal
our visualizations?
I paid good money for those.
(female announcer)
'The next rider is Alison Stare.
She's on Lightning.'
Uh, dad, we really need
to get ready for the contest.
I'll see you in
the winner's circle.
Winner's circle? I guess you'll
be there to congratulate us.
(female announcer)
'The last senior contestant
is Julia Picard riding Speed.'
Riding used to be fun.
Yeah, before parents got
involved.
I've got an idea. Why don't we
skip the contest
and just go riding
on the trail? For fun.
Tanner, you're a genius.
- This is gonna be great.
- Yeah.
Hey, let's head out
to the trail, come on.
- Trot.
- This is so fun!
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
How's Michelle doing?
She's doing great.
She's ready to roll.
She's champing at the bit.
Actually, that was Pepper Mill.
Mama, we want a horse.
Okay, I'll get you one
when you're older.
How old?
Old enough to carry a shovel.
(female announcer)
'Now, presenting our junior
jumper competition.'
[cheering and applause]
Where's my Elizabeth?
She's not there.
I guess her kid
couldn't handle the pressure.
Dad, Michelle's not
out there either.
I thought you just
told me she was champing?
Uh, that was her horse.
He's missing too.
Okay, we'll be right back,
wait here.
She's not in there.
- Where could she be?
- Don't know.
Jess, what are you doing here?
Hey, guys.
I re-arranged some stuff.
I'm gonna do the books tonight,
rehearse tomorrow.
And I'm gonna check out
the new band next week.
And if I keep talking, we're
gonna miss the competition.
I'm glad you're here, but right
now we gotta find Michelle.
What do you mean
"find Michelle?" Where is she?
- I don't know.
- Hold on, guys.
Uh, excuse me, sir, uh,
have you seen a little girl..
Blond hair, about yay high,
with just the cutest darn smile
and a big smelly horse?
You know, I never thought
I'd get a chance to say this
but they went that-a way.
Can we borrow these horses?
- Help yourself.
- Thank you.
They ain't mine.
Uh, excuse me sir,
would it be okay, if I, uh..
if I borrowed this
little horse right here?
[neighing]
That's ain't a horse, Greenhorn.
That's a burro,
name's Milton.
Milton Burro.
What else?
'Let's go.'
Come on, Milton.
Let's go.
[serene music]
I like riding a horse when
you don't have to win anything.
Yeah, it's cool.
Hey, wanna jump that log?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
[clicking]
Come on, Michelle!
Trot.
Michelle!
Michelle, are you okay?
Michelle, wake up.
- Ho.
- 'Michelle, wake up.'
She fell off her horse.
Michelle? Don't move her.
She hit her head.
Oh, my gosh.
What happened?
- Is she okay?
- I don't know.
Michelle?
Can you hear me, honey?
Honey?
(male narrator)
Next time on "Full House.."
I am so sorry I put
so much pressure on you.
That's okay.
Who are you?
Well, memory loss is very common
with head injuries.
Come on in, Michelle.
Don't be scared.
Do you remember us?
Aren't you the nice people
I met at the hospital?
Jesse's our uncle.
Right. The guy with the hair.
I know you all
want me to remember
but I can't.
I'm sorry.
What if she never remembers us?
We're a family.
We're gonna get through this.
We'll do whatever it takes.
[theme music]