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[theme music]
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Isn't Patrick Swayze cute?
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Funny.
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Not funny.
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Yeah.
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[theme music]
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♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
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♪ Aah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milk man
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evenin' TV ♪
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♪ How did I get to living here?
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♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
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♪ This whole world's
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confusing me ♪
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♪ Clouds as mean
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as you've ever seen ♪
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♪ Ain't a bird
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who knows your tune ♪
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♪ Then a little voice
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inside you whispers ♪
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♪ Kid don't sell
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your dreams so soon ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a face
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of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ And everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
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[piano music]
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♪ You got all a man would need ♪
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♪ You fill my soul's
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sweet desire ♪
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♪ Whoa ♪
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♪ And I'm singing to a tire ♪
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I'm singing to a tire!
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What is..
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Come on, this is your job!
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Think, think!
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You don't kill bugs anymore
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you write advertising jingles.
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You've sold one. One.
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Alright, I need some
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inspiration. I need, uh..
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Sam.
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Sammy, Samala.
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My main man, speak to me.
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Who can turn a lug-nut.
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[knock on door]
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Who is it?
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It's me. Stephanie Tanner.
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Uncle Jesse,
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this is my friend, Harry.
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- Hello, Harry.
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- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
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Harry's in my class.
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He sits next
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to the crayon bin.
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That's very impressive, Harry.
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Listen, I've two hours to write
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a jingle for Fred's Tire Town.
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So let me work, kids.
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I can help.
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In school I wrote
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the poem about milk.
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It made me
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wanna cookie real bad.
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Stephanie, I'm involved
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in the creation
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of a very sophisticated
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musical composition.
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Let's see if this sparks
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anything. It goes like this.
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♪ Ta ta ta ta ta ta ♪
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♪ Fred's Tire Town ♪♪
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- How about this.
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- Hmm.
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♪ It's a very very very very ♪
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♪ Very very very very very
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very very very very ♪
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♪ Ni-i-i-ce place ♪♪
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She's done it again.
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Alright,
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thanks for trying, Steph.
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Alright, let's go. Anybody who's
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not me, out of the room.
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Goodbye. Goodbye.
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Nice meeting you, Harry.
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- Jess.
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- Ah!
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You will not believe
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what Michelle just said.
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Poo-poo.
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Thank you for sharing
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that with me, Joseph.
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Jess, this kid
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is not all talk.
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First she said it
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then she did it.
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I called Danny at work,
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he said it's a sure sign
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that Michelle is ready
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for potty training.
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Alright. High five, Michelle.
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High five!
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[laughing]
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So, how's the
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tire jingle coming?
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Ah, Joseph,
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I've lost it man.
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I'm all dried up.
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I got jingle block.
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Uh, Jess, lighten up.
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It'll come to you.
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Hey, look, Michelle.
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A picture of a tire.
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Look. Isn't that
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a cool tire, huh?
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Yeah, it's like
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totally radial, dude.
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Get out! Go!
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Get out.
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- Bye-bye.
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- Bye-bye.
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Totally radial, dude!
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Totally radial.
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You think?
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It's funny.
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Totally radial, huh.
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It's kinda hooky actually.
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Totally radial.
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Pew pew pew
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pew pew pew.
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Ugh, you got me. Ooh!
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Oh!
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Master of the universe,
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your tea is ready.
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I'm not master of the universe,
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anymore. I'm G.I. Joe.
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And G.I. Joe
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doesn't drink tea.
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He does when he plays
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house with me.
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Got it, chief.
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Sweet low, Joe.
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- Oh, this tea is poison!
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- Oh!
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[choking]
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Freeze, nerd bombers!
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Up, up, up, up!
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Better keep away
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from my stuff.
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I just got back from karate
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class and I'm pumped.
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Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!
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Ha!
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You're just jealous because, I
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have a boyfriend and you don't.
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You're dreaming.
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You don't have a boyfriend.
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It so happens, I do.
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- Who?
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- Him.
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Me?
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You're a boy,
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you're my friend.
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That makes you
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my boyfriend.
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Got it, chief.
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More tea, soldier?
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[choking]
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I'm never having kids.
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[choking]
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Joey? Joey!
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- Yeah, what is it?
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- Where's Michelle?
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Where is my little genius?
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Well, last time
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I saw Madame Curie
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she was licking squash off
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the high chair.
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She's takin' a nap.
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Look at this.
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The latest hi-tech potty.
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It's Japanese,
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it's state of the art
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and it's digital.
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Wow! It's all
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happening so fast
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Potty training. Pretty soon
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Michelle will be off to school.
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- Meeting boys.
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- Goin' to the prom.
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Getting married.
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You know, we ought to think
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about having another one.
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The kid's back.
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- You sold the jingle?
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- Yes, sir.
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- Congratulations.
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- Thank you. Hey!
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♪ It's totally radial
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at Fred's Tire Town ♪
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Totally radial.
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- That's pretty clever, Jesse.
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- Don't look at me.
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Joey came up with it.
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I did?
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Of course, I did.
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Thanks to you, Joseph,
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I have a check for $827.
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And half of it,
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my friend, is yours.
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Wow! Thanks, Jess.
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That is very generous of you.
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You know, it's real important
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to me is that I get it in cash.
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- I'm glad, I could help you.
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- You did more.
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Now, you snapped me out
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of my jingle slump.
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Almost feel
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like huggin' you.
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Almost.
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You know, this is so great.
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Guys, listen to me.
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We should celebrate.
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Let's all go out
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for non-fat, frozen yogurt.
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Before we get down
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and get totally funky
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there's one more
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piece of good news.
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The ABC's giving me a shot
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at a national commercial.
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It's this thing for
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Kitty Krispy's cat food.
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We gotta come up with
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a funny type jingle thing.
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So, Joey, if you
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have a little time..
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...maybe you'd like to
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do a little work together.
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Maybe, uh, I don't know,
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you and I could become..
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- Yes!
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- Partners?
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- Yes!
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- Wanna do it, Joey?
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- I don't know.
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- Ah, Joey!
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- Of course, I will.
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- Alright, good, man.
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I really need you
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on this jingle.
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This little thing could
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make my career take off.
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We'll make a great team.
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Yeah, we'll be like, uh,
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we'll be like, Butch Cassidy
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and the Sundance kid, huh?
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Great. Can I be Butch?
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Not in that shirt.
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Now, Michelle, with any luck
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this is something you'll be
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doing the rest of your life.
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Now watch closely.
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Potty Polly sits down.
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And she makes
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the bell go ding-ding.
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[bell ringing]
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And then she gets a cookie.
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Hat.
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Hat.
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No, no. Bad hat.
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Not a big hit
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in the Easter parade.
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Alright, let's uh, let's try
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some different musical styles.
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- Let's do a little reggae boy.
294
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,138
- Oh, yeah, man. Yeah, man.
295
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,474
- One, two, three, four.
296
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,474
- Ah. Oh.
297
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,351
♪ Day-o ah ♪
298
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,312
♪ We ate the cat food every
299
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,312
day-o ♪
300
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,647
♪ Ah la la la la ♪♪
301
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,402
Alright, we got that
302
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,402
out of our system.
303
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,903
You got that, man.
304
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,779
Alright, let's try a little
305
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:31,779
like a conga thing.
306
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,323
Like a thing, thing, thing.
307
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,323
Like this.
308
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,450
[Congo drums music]
309
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,868
That's it.
310
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,786
♪ Do we like this music? ♪
311
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,788
♪ Do we like this music? ♪
312
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,376
I think, I threw my back out.
313
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,044
Alright, alright, come on, man.
314
00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:46,044
Let's get back to our roots.
315
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,422
Just get a little
316
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,422
rock 'n roll like, uh..
317
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,006
Kinda like a..
318
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,466
Yeah.
319
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,302
Oh, big daddy, now,
320
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,302
this music says cat food.
321
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:55,762
Alright, good, good.
322
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,680
That's the style, that's
323
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,680
the style. That's the motif.
324
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,766
Now what we need
325
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,766
are some words.
326
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:03,311
Like, I mean, my partner happens
327
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:03,311
to be the king of comedy.
328
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,439
Ready, Joey?
329
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:05,439
Be funny.
330
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:06,731
Hey, what a great audience.
331
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,649
So, where are you from?
332
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:12,362
Oh, cut it out.
333
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:12,362
Get outta here.
334
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,239
Come on, Joey.
335
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,239
I need like, I need like, uh..
336
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,823
Like something catchy like..
337
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,742
...like this "Totally radial"
338
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,742
thing you got for me, right.
339
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,744
But they need to be
340
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,744
cat food funny.
341
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,205
Okay, ready?
342
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,205
Be funny.
343
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,208
Okay, cats. Funny cat food.
344
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419
- Funny cats. Funny cats.
345
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,419
- Funnier. Funny.
346
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,963
Uh, two cats
347
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,963
walk into a bar.
348
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,591
Urgh. Take my cat, please.
349
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,719
Uh. A priest, a rabbi and a cat
350
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:36,719
are sitting in a row boat.
351
00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,845
Joey, that's not funny.
352
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,680
It's not me.
353
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,680
It's-it's the room.
354
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,642
It's, uh,
355
00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,642
like working a telethon.
356
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,604
We need a funny room.
357
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,604
We'll go to my room.
358
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,021
- My room is the funny room.
359
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,021
- Alright, fine.
360
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,523
We'll go to your room.
361
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:51,067
Go.
362
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,865
- Ow!
363
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:57,865
- Ow!
364
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,076
- Ow! Ow!
365
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,076
- Ow! Ow!
366
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:03,121
Ice cream race.
367
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:03,121
Bad idea.
368
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,665
♪ Funny room ♪
369
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:05,665
♪ Funny room ♪
370
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,334
♪ Funny room ♪
371
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,334
♪ Funny room ♪
372
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,295
♪ Everyone's going
373
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:10,295
to the funny room ♪♪
374
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,090
I love coming here.
375
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,805
Stephanie, I was saving those
376
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,805
ice cream bars for me and Kimmy.
377
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,307
They're mine.
378
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,434
Well, they don't have
379
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,434
your name on them.
380
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,437
Yes, they do.
381
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,525
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
382
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,862
- Here, D.J.
383
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,862
- Stephanie.
384
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,822
You're always
385
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:37,822
messing up my stuff.
386
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,074
I warned you
387
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,074
and I'm gonna get you back.
388
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,660
You won't know
389
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,660
when it's coming
390
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,662
and you won't know
391
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,662
how it's coming.
392
00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,163
But it's coming.
393
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,126
Can you see why
394
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,126
she doesn't have a boyfriend?
395
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,632
Warming up the funny bone
396
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,632
a little bit.
397
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:56,715
Good.
398
00:11:56,757 --> 00:11:58,259
[trumpet sound]
399
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,429
Hello. Ooh, I hate that rabbit.
400
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,764
And now, something
401
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,764
we hope you really like.
402
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:04,849
Thanks, Rocky.
403
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,476
[imitates Popeye's laugh]
404
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:07,726
How embarass-king.
405
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,604
I love you, Spartacus.
406
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,772
Ha ha, alright.
407
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,772
Now that's funny. Here.
408
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,442
- Think cat food. Go on.
409
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,442
- Okay, okay.
410
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,902
I got it. A duet.
411
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,945
- A guy sings with his cat.
412
00:12:15,943 --> 00:12:17,945
- That's good, Joey.
413
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,573
That's good. Alright,
414
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,573
let me give you little..
415
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,616
...music here so it goes like.
416
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,368
[humming]
417
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,037
♪ I went
418
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,037
to my cat the other day ♪♪
419
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,664
Wait!
420
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,664
You be the guy.
421
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,165
- I'll be the cat.
422
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:29,165
- Love it!
423
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,749
And when we make
424
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,749
the presentation
425
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:31,959
I'll sing in a cat voice.
426
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,712
- Love it!
427
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,712
- And when we go in there.
428
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,796
- I'll wear a cat suit.
429
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,796
- I hate it.
430
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,966
Come on, partner.
431
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,966
I can get a cat costume.
432
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,468
My friend was
433
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,468
in a Broadway play.
434
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,429
What the heck was
435
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,429
the name of it again?
436
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,891
- Cats.
437
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,891
- That's the one!
438
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,062
Joseph, tomorrow morning
439
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,062
we're going in to make
440
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,441
a presentation to a very
441
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,441
important advertising agency.
442
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,485
Now, it's gonna be a room
443
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,485
full of serious suits and ties.
444
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,571
We can't go in there looking
445
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,571
like amateurs. Trust me.
446
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,573
- I'm a professional.
447
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,573
- Hey, trust me.
448
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,408
I'm a professional too.
449
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,202
Jess, they want
450
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,202
a funny jingle
451
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,747
let's go in there
452
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,747
and be funny.
453
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,586
Give me that.
454
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,379
No, cat suit.
455
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,631
How about just
456
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,631
ears and a tail?
457
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,924
Joseph! This is no joke now.
458
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,676
You look me in the eye
459
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,676
and you promise me.
460
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,762
No, cat suit.
461
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,846
I promise. No, cat suit.
462
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,183
Thank you.
463
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,728
So, I guess the six foot ball
464
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,728
of yarn is out of the ques..
465
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,898
(Jess)
466
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,898
'My partner should be
467
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,898
here any moment.'
468
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,735
But in the meantime,
469
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,735
can I get you folks anything?
470
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:40,194
Freshen up your coffee.
471
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,488
Sharpen your pencils.
472
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,659
Yeah, you look
473
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,659
like a happy crowd.
474
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,120
- Right this way, Mr. Gladstone.
475
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,120
- Oh, good.
476
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,580
- Hi.
477
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,580
- Hi, Joey.
478
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,582
Uh, this is my partner,
479
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,582
Joseph Gladstone.
480
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,334
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
481
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,334
- Great.
482
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,296
My partner and I have
483
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:58,296
worked long and hard
484
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,881
to come up with a campaign
485
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,881
that we feel has
486
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,426
strong consumer appeal.
487
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:04,969
May I present..
488
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,516
Cat puppet.
489
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,226
Cat puppet.
490
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:15,062
[instrumental music]
491
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,653
Joseph, I think uh, you and I
492
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:21,653
have to have a little talk.
493
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,405
Right after this word
494
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,405
from Kitty Krispy's.
495
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:25,573
No.
496
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,158
[instrumental music]
497
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,786
♪ Well I went to my cat
498
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,786
the other day ♪
499
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:32,038
♪ And asked him
500
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:32,038
what he'd like to eat ♪
501
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,791
♪ He said I'm sick of that junk
502
00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,791
you're feeding me ♪
503
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,793
♪ How about a brand new treat ♪
504
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,420
♪ He said I'm sick of that
505
00:14:36,835 --> 00:14:39,420
junk you're feeding me ♪
506
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,715
♪ How about a brand new treat ♪
507
00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:44,509
♪ So I went to the supermarket ♪
508
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,469
♪ To find that special blend ♪
509
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,347
♪ He said buy me those
510
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:49,347
Kitty Krispy's man ♪
511
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,391
♪ And I'll be your best friend ♪
512
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,227
♪ He said buy me those
513
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,227
Kitty Krispy's man ♪
514
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,437
♪ And I'll be your best friend ♪
515
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,857
♪ Meow-a meow-a ♪
516
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,857
meow-a meow-a ♪
517
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,275
♪ Meow-a meow-a ♪
518
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,903
♪ And now me and my cat
519
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,903
are buddies ♪
520
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,155
♪ Really do get along ♪
521
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,700
♪ Share cases and cases
522
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,700
of Krispy's now ♪
523
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,077
♪ And all we do
524
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,077
is sing this song ♪
525
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,580
♪ Share cases and cases
526
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,580
of Krispy's now ♪
527
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,749
♪ Then all we do
528
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,749
is sing this song ♪
529
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,708
[meows]
530
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,793
♪ Now my little kitty ♪
531
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,546
♪ Is sitting really pretty ♪
532
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:25,174
♪ Eating Kitty Krispy's now ♪
533
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:31,013
♪ Meow-ow-ow-a ♪♪
534
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,024
Oh, come here,
535
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,024
you little food processor.
536
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,317
[chuckles]
537
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,069
I got you.
538
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,448
Uh, don't worry.
539
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,448
No more potty training today.
540
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,534
All I really want
541
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,534
is for you to be happy.
542
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,411
Get good grades
543
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,162
and get into
544
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,162
an Ivy League college.
545
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,291
Of course,
546
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,291
most major universities
547
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,042
do want you
548
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,042
to be potty trained.
549
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,379
Give me a kiss.
550
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,923
Aw!
551
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:09,260
Daddy? Look what D.J. did.
552
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,304
Did it
553
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,304
for your own good.
554
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:15,349
Boy, are you gonna get it.
555
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,017
Okay, daddy, ready?
556
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,562
On your mark,
557
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,562
get set, punish.
558
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,608
Dad, she's always
559
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,608
messing with my stuff.
560
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,443
I had to teach her
561
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,443
a lesson.
562
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,696
I'll take it from here, okay?
563
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,199
Stephanie, honey, you know
564
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,199
that we need to treat
565
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,535
each others property
566
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,535
with respect.
567
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,329
And D.J., in this family
568
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,123
we do not tie together
569
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,123
each others shoes.
570
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,250
Unless there's some kind
571
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,250
of weird emergency.
572
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:43,711
- Okay.
573
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:43,711
- Sure.
574
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:44,921
Red light.
575
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,882
What's our rule
576
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,882
after we fight?
577
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:51,218
- Never walk away angry.
578
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:51,218
- Never walk away angry.
579
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,848
Very good.
580
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,848
Now, go ahead and apologize.
581
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,559
- Sorry.
582
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,559
- Sorry.
583
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,897
Now, D.J., help Stephanie
584
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,897
untie her shoes.
585
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,398
Poo-poo.
586
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,108
Poo-poo?
587
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,736
Oh, Michelle.
588
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,614
Oh, I'll tell you what.
589
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,617
Why don't we, uh,
590
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,617
just mosey on upstairs
591
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,703
and, uh, you know,
592
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,703
just sit down
593
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,078
maybe on the potty?
594
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,622
And, uh, we'll thumb through
595
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:21,123
some college catalogues.
596
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,962
Okay, D.J.,
597
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,962
you heard the man.
598
00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,255
Untie my shoes.
599
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,591
The man said,
600
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,591
"Help untie her shoes".
601
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,843
Here's some help.
602
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,970
Start with
603
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,970
the little white sneaker.
604
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:35,805
You have to untie them too.
605
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,016
- No, I don't.
606
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,016
- Yes, you do.
607
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,934
- No, I don't.
608
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,934
- Yes, you do.
609
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,477
- No, I don't.
610
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,477
- Yes, you do.
611
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,145
- No, I didn't.
612
00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,145
- Yes, you did.
613
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,105
- No, I didn't.
614
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,105
- Yes, you did
615
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,608
- No, I didn't.
616
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,608
- Yes, you did
617
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,614
- Yes, you did.
618
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,614
- No, I didn't.
619
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,200
See, what you've started?
620
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,790
Why do I get
621
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,790
all the blame for this, huh?
622
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,459
They said, "Thank you very much,
623
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:05,459
but we're going another way".
624
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,045
Which is advertising
625
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,045
lingo for
626
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,255
"Put your puppet
627
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,255
where the sun don't shine."
628
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,717
I took a risk.
629
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,717
I dared to be silly.
630
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,761
Why didn't you tell me
631
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,761
before you dared to be silly?
632
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,554
Man, you promised me.
633
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,057
I kept my promise.
634
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,057
I did not wear a cat suit.
635
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,893
You wore a cat suit
636
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,893
on your hand.
637
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,352
And you stabbed me
638
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,352
in the back with it.
639
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,689
Jess, this is not
640
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,689
that big a deal.
641
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:27,941
You're not really mad at me.
642
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,567
There's something else
643
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:29,567
bothering you.
644
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,986
So, what is your problem?
645
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,986
Really?
646
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,405
My problem is, I'm living
647
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,405
in the same house with you.
648
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,782
Jess, what does that
649
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,782
supposed to mean?
650
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,324
Maybe, it means,
651
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,324
we don't need three fathers.
652
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,952
Haven't you seen that show
653
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,952
"My Two Dads"?
654
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,537
Two is all you need.
655
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,372
- Alright, fine with me.
656
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,372
- Fine with me.
657
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,624
- Fine.
658
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,624
- Fine.
659
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:45,750
- Fine.
660
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:45,750
- Fine.
661
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,293
This is ridiculous.
662
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,639
D.J., they sound really mad.
663
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,390
Are they gonna get a divorce?
664
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,269
Not if we make 'em
665
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,269
to make up.
666
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,396
You get Uncle Jesse
667
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,396
and I'll get Joey.
668
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:09,148
We'll all meet
669
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:09,148
back in our room.
670
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,109
You have a great mind, D.J.
671
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,946
If you could
672
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,946
only use it for good.
673
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,869
Stephanie, I'm sure there's
674
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,869
no monsters in your closet.
675
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,162
But I'll check for it.
676
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,498
I don't believe
677
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:25,498
you broke a window.
678
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,250
I don't believe it,
679
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,250
'cause it's not broken.
680
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:33,006
Well, well, well,
681
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:33,006
look who's here.
682
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,841
Well, well, well,
683
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,841
look who's leaving.
684
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,551
- I'm outta here.
685
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:37,551
- Red light.
686
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,345
We have a rule
687
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,345
in this house.
688
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,263
Never walk away angry.
689
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,934
So, say you're sorry
690
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,934
to each other.
691
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,269
Please.
692
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,355
- Sorry.
693
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,355
- Sorry.
694
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,774
That was pathetic.
695
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,526
[knock on door]
696
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,819
I don't wanna
697
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,819
get anybody's hopes up
698
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,445
but I think Michelle
699
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,445
is on the verge
700
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,072
of a major breakthrough.
701
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,532
[bells ringing]
702
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,367
Oh, my God.
703
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,367
We're missing it.
704
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,291
[laughing]
705
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,253
Michelle, we did it.
706
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,714
That's my big girl.
707
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,340
(all)
708
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,340
Yeah.
709
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,675
Alright, Michelle.
710
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,302
You're one step closer
711
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,302
to a diaper free world.
712
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,762
Come on, little mouse,
713
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,762
I'll get you ready
714
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,597
and we'll all go out
715
00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,597
and celebrate.
716
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,308
[laughing]
717
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,394
Dear little
718
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,394
pumpkin sucker.
719
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,897
Jesse, you're with that magazine
720
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:30,897
was that too cute or what?
721
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,232
[laughing]
722
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,151
Does this mean you're
723
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,151
not getting a divorce?
724
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,363
A divorce?
725
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,363
What are you talkin' about?
726
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,825
You said there were
727
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,825
too many dads here.
728
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,036
You guys heard
729
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,036
us fighting, huh?
730
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,080
We don't want
731
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,080
anybody to leave.
732
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,208
- Uh, we need to talk.
733
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,208
- Right.
734
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,002
Come on.
735
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,002
Let's sit down.
736
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,716
Girls, nobody
737
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,716
is leaving this house.
738
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,551
Right. We just
739
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,551
had a little fight.
740
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:06,182
You see, sometimes
741
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:06,182
in the heat of the moment you
742
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,935
say things that
743
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:08,935
you don't really mean.
744
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,229
You know what I'm talkin' about.
745
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,229
You guys fight all the time.
746
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,689
We're sisters.
747
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,689
We're supposed to fight.
748
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,191
It's our job.
749
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,319
Well, same with us.
750
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,319
We fight like brothers.
751
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:23,490
You mean that, Jess?
752
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:23,490
You think of me like a brother?
753
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,869
Well, you definitely,
754
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,869
you irritate me like a brother.
755
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,705
Jess, that's the nicest thing
756
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,705
you've ever said to me.
757
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,710
Oh, we helped raise
758
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,710
these kids together.
759
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:37,713
We do the laundry together,
760
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:37,713
we make school lunch together.
761
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:40,258
Somewhere along the line
762
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:40,258
we became brothers.
763
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,425
And housewives.
764
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,969
[chuckles]
765
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,597
Hey, I'm sorry about springing
766
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,597
that puppet on you.
767
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:50,017
I thought it would be a big hit.
768
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:50,017
I was trying to surprise you.
769
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:52,145
I guess, I should've
770
00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:52,145
talked to you about it first.
771
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,646
Uh, it was cute.
772
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:58,317
Uh, I'm sorry
773
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:58,317
for getting crazy, Joey.
774
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,947
Joey, you know
775
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,947
that thing you said about
776
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,950
something else
777
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,950
was botherin' me.
778
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,493
You're right.
779
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,580
I'm scared.
780
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:14,292
- You're scared?
781
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:14,292
- Scared of what?
782
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,376
Scared of not makin' it.
783
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,671
You don't know, how hard it was
784
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:18,671
to break away from my father
785
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,174
leave the family business.
786
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:25,219
The thought of me...crawling
787
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:25,219
back, killin' bugs again.
788
00:22:27,263 --> 00:22:28,931
Admitting that I failed.
789
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,312
I just don't know,
790
00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,312
if I'm good enough.
791
00:22:34,352 --> 00:22:36,354
Jess, no one ever knows.
792
00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,816
I go through that same fear
793
00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,816
every time I jump up on stage
794
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,776
and try and make people laugh.
795
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:44,113
Hey, but you gotta hang tough.
796
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:44,113
You got a real talent.
797
00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:46,448
If it makes it
798
00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:46,448
any easier for you.
799
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,909
Hey, we've all
800
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,909
got faith in you.
801
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,954
"Fred's Tire Town"
802
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,954
is my favorite song.
803
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,915
We're gonna sing it
804
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,915
at graduation.
805
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,625
Well, I'm gonna ask.
806
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:02,340
Thank you, guys.
807
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:02,340
That makes me feel a lot better.
808
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:06,135
You know, Joseph, uh..
809
00:23:06,177 --> 00:23:09,471
...yeah, few problems
810
00:23:06,177 --> 00:23:09,471
in the beginning but..
811
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,890
...we did make
812
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,890
a pretty good team.
813
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,432
Yeah, we did some good stuff.
814
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:14,601
What do you say?
815
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,478
Still wanna be partners?
816
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,356
Like Butch and Sundance?
817
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:19,815
Yeah. Martin and Lewis.
818
00:23:19,857 --> 00:23:21,734
Bert and Ernie.
819
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,112
- No, puppets.
820
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,112
- No, puppets.
821
00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:29,742
Put it there, partner.
822
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:33,371
Come here, bro.
823
00:23:40,418 --> 00:23:43,047
- This calls for a tea party.
824
00:23:40,418 --> 00:23:43,047
- Alright!
825
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,049
- Let's have some tea here.
826
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:45,049
- Okay.
827
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,425
Okay, a little toast
828
00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,425
to our friendship.
829
00:23:47,467 --> 00:23:48,761
Here we go.
830
00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,598
This tea is poison!
831
00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:54,558
[all choking]
832
00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:58,771
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪♪
833
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:01,857
[theme music]