[theme music]
One.
Two.
One.
- One, two.
- One.
- 'Two.'
- Two.
Okay.
Here, ah!
Let's see your muscles.
- Muscles.
Alright.
By day
a mere toddler
but by night..
...super baby.
Woo!
Woo, look out.
It's super baby
coming to save the world.
Aah!
She got me.
Super baby got me.
Thank you, super baby.
Let's see your muscles.
- Muscles.
- Pree..
[laughing]
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ When did I get
to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old worlds
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird who
knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face
of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Shooby do ba botta ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Mm, great fried chicken.
Joey, this could be your most
delicious meal of the year.
Well, thanks, Danny,
I was a little nervous at first
but once I actually drove up
to the takeout window.
I felt strong.
- Let's clean up.
- No, no, no, sit.
I'll clean up.
It's our pleasure
to serve you.
And for dessert
I am proud to present
genuine imitation pudding.
None for me, I have a big
karate tournament this weekend.
I wanna stay lean and mean.
Ha!
Here, Michelle.
- Kung fu this.
- Cha.
Wooh, attack of
a ninja baby.
She has broken our dinner.
She must pay.
Michelle, you haven't
eaten a thing.
Don't you like your potatoes?
Cookie.
Doesn't that chicken
look good?
Cookie, Joey.
Okay, here are some
Boston baked cookies.
It's bean.
Beans? Ha ha.
So they are.
My mistake.
Alright, everybody,
gather around.
Gather around.
Guess who's playing
at Slim's this weekend?
George Michael, Bon Jovi?
Barbie and the Rockers?
No, huh?
Me.
- Alright.
- Great, Jesse.
This is major league.
But I gotta find a way
to fill this club up.
Your worries are over.
I'll tell
the whole first grade.
(Jesse)
'Thank you.'
I got a great idea.
Why doesn't
your band play
on my talk show
Friday morning?
- I love this man.
- Don't love me yet.
You gotta audition
for my producer tomorrow.
Hey, I'm there
for you, babe.
We're doing this warm up
gig tonight.
Why don't you come pick
a song out for the audition?
Hey, I'm there for you, babe.
Girls, I'll be out late.
Joey's in charge.
Great.
[sighs]
I'll run Michelle's bath.
Hey, I'm there
for you, babe.
Steph, this works
out perfect.
Good.
What works out perfect?
Joey's in charge,
he'll let us stay up late
to watch Tiffany,
live from Tokyo.
This works out perfect.
And if Joey gives us
any trouble
we'll hit him with
the secret weapon.
- The bunny nose.
Girls, I'm working on
a new impression for my act.
Let me know
what you think.
It's Bullwinkle
talking to Bill Murray.
Okay, here it goes.
Alright.
Gee whiz, Bill.
Why won't the girls
go out with me?
Well, uh, listen up,
Wink-meister, uh..
You know, A,
you're a moose.
You got a coat rack
on your head.
And, B, you hang out with that
whiney little squirrel, Rocky.
I mean, sure,
he flies, you know.
So he's got that
going for him.
- Alright, wooh! Yes!
- Wooh!
Oh, come on, now.
Cut it out.
I love you people.
Uh, isn't it fun
hanging out with Joey?
The funnest. Let's do
something with Joey tonight.
Hey, Joey,
look what's on the tube.
An educational special
about Japan.
It's our lucky day.
Let me see this educational
special about Japan.
Would it be
"Tiffany live from Tokyo?"
Yeah, that's it.
Well, girls
this is a school night
and it looks like
Tiffany will be
live in Japan until 10:30.
10:30?
It's a good thing
I took a nice long nap today.
Steph, why did you
take a nap
if you didn't know
this was gonna be on
till just now?
Uh..
D.J., why did I do that?
Woman's intuition.
Yeah, what she said.
I know exactly
what's going on here.
You little tricksters waited
until your dad left
to ask me
'cause you know
he would've said "No."'
Please.
Oh, not the bunny nose.
Steph, this isn't
gonna work.
Oh, not the double bunny nose.
No man, is this strong.
Alright, alright, alright.
- Yay, thank you.
- Thank you.
- You guys can watch.
- Thank you, Joey.
Alright, I'll make
the popcorn.
- Joey! Joey! Joey!
- Joey! Joey!
Next time, we go straight
to the bunny nose.
♪ Holding on to
one another's hands ♪
♪ Trying to get away
into the night ♪
♪ And then you put
your arms around me ♪
♪ And we tumble to the ground
and then you say ♪
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
♪ There doesn't seem
to be anyone around ♪
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
♪ The beating of our hearts
is the only sound ♪♪
Yeah.
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
♪ There doesn't seem
to be anyone around.. ♪
♪ Don't think
we're alone now ♪♪
- Hi, Danny.
- Hi, Joey.
Hi, Stephanie.
Hi, D.J.
Hi, Tiffany.
Bye, Tiffany.
Uh, the girls asked me if they
could stay up a little late.
We had no idea
he'd say yes.
Plus, it was an
educational program.
Tiffany?
Tiffany, live from Tokyo.
Danny, this is coming
to us via satellite
from one of Japan's oldest
and most sacred malls.
Oh, it's been
a long day.
Oh, yeah,
I'm bushed.
I can hardly keep
my eyes open.
- Oh, night, dad.
- Goodnight, daddy.
[yawns]
Goodnight, dad.
Hold it, son.
Joey, face it.
You're a soft touch.
You let those girls
take advantage of you.
I know, Danny. I don't,
I don't wanna be a bad guy.
No, no.
Freddy Krueger is a bad guy.
Sometimes a parent
has to say, "No."
If you put your foot down,
they'll respect you more.
Are you sure?
Trust me.
I know my dad stuff.
- Okay, no more Mr. Pushover.
- Good.
I can be as tough as any
authority figure in this house.
You can do it.
Maybe I oughta tape the rest
of that special..
But they'll watch it when
I tell them they can watch it.
♪ Blue dress blue dress
devil with the blue dress on ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Have mercy.
♪ Devil with the blue dress
blue dress blue dress ♪
♪ Devil with blue dress on ♪♪
[applauding]
Well, Mr. Strowbridge,
what do you think?
I don't know
much about music
but I know what I like.
- Did you like it?
- I don't know.
Well, here's a fun idea.
After they sing there song
have Danny do a number
with the band.
That's your fun idea?
Rebecca, this is
your show, too.
- Why not you sing?
- No.
The audience loves to see
you embarrass yourself.
I love to see it, too.
And I love it as well.
But don't forget I'll be
in Fresno tonight judging
the Miss Kadota Fig Pageant.
That's right.
Fresno, fig judging.
Yeah, I won't have any time
to rehearse with the band.
He won't have time to
rehearse with the band.
Trust me, sir, he does
need a lot of rehearsal.
He's not exactly
a rock 'n' roll animal.
I can get another band.
On the other hand, he does
have that Mick Jagger quality.
Hello, Mrs. Gibbler.
This is Joey Gladstone again.
Uh, have you heard
from D.J. yet?
No?
I'm worried sick and
I don't know who else to call.
Well, listen,
if you hear from D.J.
tell her I want her home
immediately.
Uh-huh. Thanks.
Cookie.
Michelle, no more cookies.
Look at this, you can eat
a magic, little green tree.
Stephie, eat.
Stephie?
Eat broccoli?
Get real.
Steph.
Has D.J. ever been late
like this before?
I don't think so,
but everything before
I was five
is a little bit fuzzy.
Hi.
D.J., you're home.
It's nice to see you, too.
- You're an hour late.
- Oh, sorry.
After karate class,
we all hung around
and planned strategy
for the big tournament
on Saturday.
It's gonna be so rad.
What did you make for dinner?
Can we order pizza?
D.J., I was scared to death.
I didn't know
what happened to you.
Joey, I'm fine.
I was with my friends.
- It's no big deal.
- It's a very big deal.
D.J., you know the rules.
Why didn't you pick up
a phone and call me?
- I forgot.
- That's no excuse.
If your father was here, you
would have remembered to call.
Joey, why are you acting
like this?
Because you had me
worried sick
and you don't seem
to care.
- Joey, don't have a cow.
- 'Don't have a cow?'
That's it.
This weekend, you are grounded.
This weekend is
my karate tournament.
I've been practicing
for months.
Well, then I guess you're
just gonna have to miss it.
You gotta be kidding.
I can't miss it.
- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't.
When dad gets home,
he'll say I'm ungrounded.
I wouldn't count on that.
I'm in charge here,
and I say you're grounded.
No, I'm not, I'm going
to that karate tournament.
- D.J.
- You can't tell me what to do.
You're not my father.
Michelle, you want some egg?
I made it look like
the sun, see.
There's little rays
made of cheese.
Cookie.
Now, Michelle.
I know I'm not your father
but it would make me
very happy
if you ate some breakfast.
Okay, Joey.
Okay, here, Michelle.
Oh, thank you.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
Joseph, make sure
to watch me on
Danny's talk show
this morning.
You too, spanky.
Give me a kiss. Give me a kiss.
Oh, egg sun
with cheese rays.
Very creative.
Hey, Jess,
have you seen D.J. today?
Yes, I have and you're not
her favorite guy this morning.
Oh, man.
Joseph, the kid was late.
She didn't call.
You had to do something.
Just glad it was you
and not me.
I hate having D.J.
mad at me like this.
It's driving me nuts.
I hate all this tension.
I'm going upstairs right now
and letting her off the hook.
Woah, woah, woah, Joseph.
Take it from a guy whose
father grounded him a lot.
Most of the '70s.
We yelled and we screamed
but it all blew over.
You're doing the right thing.
Stick to your guns, alright?
Thanks.
You done with
that, Michelle?
Ooh, I guess not.
Glad to see your
appetite is back.
- Wish me luck.
- 'Good luck.'
- Bye! Pfft.
- Bye!
- Hi, Michelle.
- Hi.
- Good morning, D.J.
- Good day, Mr. Gladstone.
I, uh, made your lunch.
No, thank you.
I'll be purchasing my meal.
[horn honking]
There's my ride.
Have a nice day.
I intend to.
Don't worry, Joey.
I still love you, no matter
how much you punish D.J.
Can I eat her lunch?
Over the years, the fig
has gotten a bad rep.
A lot of people think of it
as only a filling for a Newton.
That's fascinating.
I can see why
you're Miss Kadota Fig.
You should.
You were one of the judges.
Yes. Well, what else
do we have for today?
Your brother in law's band.
Oh, right.
Honest folks, the fact
that we're related
has nothing to do with him
being on the show.
Unfortunately, due to your
newfound interest in Kadota figs
we only have time
for one song.
Let's get right to
Jesse and The Rippers singing
"Devil With The Blue Dress On."
[whispering]
Hey, Tanner. You sing.
Danny, I've had a request for
you to sing your song instead.
As a special treat,
here is our own Danny Tanner
singing with the band.
Uh, I don't know.
They're so good without me.
Hi, Jess.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jesse and The Rippers and me.
I'm Danny Tanner.
We'll talk about
this at home.
Isn't he great?
(male #1)
'Three, four.'
♪ Left a good job in the city ♪
You know,
every now and then
you watch "Wake Up
San Francisco"
because it's nice and easy.
Well, this morning,
I had a little too much coffee.
So we're gonna do it
nice and rough.
Hit it, boys.
[instrumental music]
♪ Left a good job
in the city ♪
♪ Workin' for the man
every night and day ♪
♪ And I never lost
one minute of sleepin' ♪
♪ Worryin' 'bout the way
things might have been ♪
♪ Big wheel keep on turnin' ♪
♪ D.J. keeps on burnin' ♪
♪ D.J. rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin'♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
♪ Rollin' rollin' ♪
♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
♪ Doo aah doo doo ♪♪
Ha!
Watch me.
Help me...hurt me.
Good gosh almighty,
great balls of fire
tutti frutti, oh, rooty.
Oh, Proud Mary!
Huh!
Jesse and The Rippers.
This weekend at Slim's.
I promise I won't be there.
Danny, I had no idea
you were so musical.
Well, I was president
of the Boy's Glee Club.
Yeah, we'll see you
next Monday for another edition
of "Wake Up, San Francisco."
Bye-bye.
Stay cool.
- Take us home, boys.
- Take yourself home.
D.J., what are you
doing here?
Mrs. Gibbler dropped me off.
I have to talk to you.
- Guess what Joey did?
- Jesse told me the whole story.
D.J, I know you're upset
but you gotta get to school.
- But, dad--
- Look.
After school we'll have
a family meeting
at home and talk it out.
Jesse, can you give
D.J. a ride to school?
Oh, sure.
I'm your backup band.
I'll be your chauffeur.
Would you like me to come back
and peel a fig for ya?
Okay, we have
a family problem.
That means
we have a family meeting.
Now, who would like to
review the rules?
- Me, me, me.
- Stephanie.
This is the talking stick.
Only the person
that holds it can talk. Okay?
Now that I have
your attention
Christmas will be
coming soon.
I'm getting bigger.
My bike is getting smaller.
Thank you, Stephanie.
Now, who would like to start?
(D.J.)
'I'll start.'
Dad, Joey had no right
to try to ground me
when I have a karate tournament.
Dad, tell Joey
he can't do that.
D.J., you know that when
I'm not here, I turn over
all responsibility for you three
girls to Uncle Jesse and Joey.
Dad, that punishment
is way too unfair.
Cheating.
No stick.
(all)
Shh!
That wasn't talking.
That was explaining.
D.J., I think the reason this
is so hard for you is because
it's the first time Joey's
really put his foot down.
I have to say that
I side with Joseph 100 percent.
You do the crime,
you do the time.
You pay the piper,
you face the music.
Man, you got to bite the bu..
I've been watching
too many old movies.
This meeting is not fair.
Everyone's against me.
Dad, do something.
[sighs]
Joey's decision is final.
How can you do this to me?
- D.J., you should have called.
- I'm not doing anything to--
That's exactly
why you should have called.
Joey was in charge--
Stop it.
I hate to see
everyone fighting.
Now just sit down and listen
to what I have to say.
Danny, you told me
that if I put my foot down
the girls would respect me.
Now, D.J. hates me
and my foot.
D.J. was the one who came
in late without calling.
Why are you blaming yourself?
Cause this whole thing started
when I tried
to be Mr. Discipline.
That's not me.
The best part about
being in this family
is all the love
and all the great times
we have together.
My family was always fighting.
I don't wanna go
through that again.
Oh, Joseph,
there's no such thing
as a family that doesn't fight.
I mean, even Herman Munster
yelled at poor little Eddie
once in a while.
Look, Joey.
The love, the fun
the responsibility,
the discipline.
They all go together.
When you're in this family,
you're in all the way.
You did the right thing.
D.J. deserved
to be punished.
Am I right, D.J.?
Okay, I give up.
I won't go to
my karate tournament.
But if you're waiting for me
to be happy about it
it won't happen.
- I'll go talk to her.
- No, I'll go talk to her.
I have here
the names of everyone
who talked without the stick.
Uncle Jesse, me,
daddy, me again--
- You little mouse.
- Aah!
[knock on door]
D.J., can I talk to you
a little more?
Sure, I'm not going anywhere.
Remember?
I'm worried about
what's happening to us.
We've always been
great buddies, right?
Yeah, I guess.
D.J., you know we have.
I've known you
your whole life.
I was at the hospital
the day you were born.
Boy, when I first saw you
talk about crying.
You were fine.
I was sobbing hysterically.
But I did you a big favor
that day, do you remember?
Joey, I was a day old.
Well, I remember.
Your mom and dad
wanted to name you Farrah.
Farrah?
I said, "Hey, we can't
name her after a hairstyle."
That was close.
I better do my homework.
D.J., we've always
been great buddies.
And I thought that
living together would
bring us even closer.
'But now that I'm like a parent,
it kind of changes things, huh?'
Yeah, I never pictured
you punishing me.
Yeah, me neither.
D.J.
Last night when
I didn't know where you were
I was scared to death.
If anything ever
happened to you..
I'm sorry about all those
mean things I said to you.
I was just mad.
That's good.
'Cause I love you so much.
I love you, too, Joey.
Hey, if it weren't for you,
I'd be Farrah Jo Tanner.
- Eww!
You know what
I'm thinking, Deej?
I'm kind of new
at this discipline thing.
I know that you should
be grounded, but..
...maybe grounding you for this
weekend was a little unfair.
You mean it? I can go
to my karate tournament?
- Yeah, what the heck.
- Thank you, thank you.
You're gonna
make a great dad.
Why, cause you got
what you wanted?
No, because you were fair.
Well, thanks.
Now remember,
next weekend, you're grounded.
Oh, that's fine, that's great,
that's perfect.
Oh, wait, I just remembered.
Kimmy and I had plans
to go horseback riding.
You know I had to try.
Okay, just karate.
- Ha!
- Hyah!
- Okay, I'm convinced.
- Ha!
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
[theme music]
[music continues]