[theme music]
[tricycle bell ringing]
Stop.
Where you headed, tuts?
Kitchen.
Kitchen? Hop on.
[bell ringing]
That'll be 50 cents, please.
[theme music]
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
♪ Aah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability? ♪
♪ The milk man
the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get
to livin' here? ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole
world's confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean as
you've ever seen ♪
♪ And a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
♪ J this crazy sock
goes with this whacky sock ♪
♪ and this socks goes.. ♪♪
Now, this came
out even, Michelle.
- My sock.
- Oh, there it is.
Alright, where is my sock,
hoopie long stockings?
Sock bye-bye.
"Sock bye-bye."
Come here you.
♪ Oh girls I've loved before ♪
♪ Who travelled
in and out my door ♪
♪ I'm glad they came along ♪
♪ I dedicate this song ♪
♪ To all the girls
I loved before ♪♪
Oh, yeah.
Danny, you know, you guys
get some matching outfits
you can go on dance fever.
Life is so beautiful.
I met someone today
at the market.
Julio Iglesias?
Her name is Denise.
We met in the produce section.
She turned to me and said..
"The broccoli
looks fresh today."
and I looked deep
in to her eyes and I said..
"It's a great source of fiber."
Next thing I knew
she was coming over here
for dinner tonight.
Hold it, hold it
a second, you picked up
a woman at the market?
That wasn't
on the shopping list.
Well, there's just
one little snag.
Denise had dinner plans tonight
with her two single friends.
So I told her, "hey, I've got
two single room mates--"
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I do not go on
blind dates, capisce?
Look, I'm not gonna beg you.
Yes, I am.
Please do this for me.
[grunting]
Okay, I'll do it
if you stop hugging.
- Thank you.
- You guys are the best.
Hey, Danny,
why didn't you beg me?
- Joey--
- Okay. I'll do it.
Great. Okay.
I'm with Denise.
And you guys
are with Cheryl and Zoey.
Zoey?
She's your date.
- Hey, why do I get Zoey?
- Because Joey and Zoey.
You already make a cute couple.
Alright, let's make these girls
something nice, huh?
Michelle, do you
happen to know
how my sock got into
the freezer, young lady?
Joey.
Jess, she's tryin' to frame me.
(Joey)
'Look at her shifty eyes.'
And I thought
while Uncle Jesse, Joey, and I
are having
our little dinner party
you three girl could stay
next door with the Gibblers.
I hate going there.
All they do is watch
"The Home Shopping Network."
Dad, why don't
you let me babysit?
It's the perfect job for me.
D.J., babysitting
is a big responsibility.
But since I will be
right down stairs
I suppose we can
give it a try.
Steph, you mind
your big sister.
You can't put D.J.
in charge of me.
Why not?
Because when you're around
she's a sweet little angel.
The minute you leave, it's..
[imitating the wicked witch]
I'll get you my pretty.
Isn't she precious, hmm?
Dad, don't worry, I'm ready
for the responsibility.
I'm ready to be in charge.
And I'm ready
for $3 an hour.
You want me
to pay you $3 an hour
to stay at home
and spend an evening
with your little sisters?
Good point.
$3.50.
$2.50.
- Deal.
Why do I feel like I'm raising
a used car salesman?
[imitating the wicked witch]
I'll get you my pretty.
And your little bear too.
[evil laugh]
Guys, thanks for going
on these blind dates tonight.
Danny, everything
is gonna work out great.
That's right.
We are there for you.
And the important
thing is that you have
a good time tonight, okay?
Thanks. I can't believe
I really met a woman.
I was charming,
I asked her out.
And she said yes.
I was like a real guy, wasn't I?
Well, as opposed to
an inflatable guy, I'd say yes.
Alright, open wide.
Very good.
It is a masterpiece.
Check it out.
Oh, yeah!
No wonder she digs me.
I'm happenin'.
You know, I've been thinkin'..
Maybe it's time to take
my wedding ring off.
What do you think?
Well, it's your decision.
Yeah, Jesse is right.
Pam gave this ring to me
13 years ago.
It's like a part of me.
I know my sister
and I know she'd want
you to get on
with your life.
Yeah, just cause you start
something new in your life
doesn't make your memories
any less special.
Thanks, guys.
What would I do with out you?
Ah, you'd be stuck
with three dates tonight.
Which wouldn't be so bad.
[dramatic music]
Kimmy, this baby sitting job
is such a piece of cake.
I get paid $2.50 an hour
for watching TV.
And having Stephanie
wait on me hand and foot.
Okay, here's
your popcorn, your soda
TV guide,
extra napkins and salt.
Thank you.
Now, will you get
my slippers for me, please?
Now the queen
wants her slippers.
We have to keep,
her majesty happy.
Slippers.
Aren't you gonna put them on me?
I'm not touching
your cootie feet.
[doorbell ringing]
- Tie is fine?
- I think it's good.
- You look okay.
- Here we go.
Hi, come on in.
I'm Danny.
- Hi.
- You must be Cheryl and Zoey.
- Hi.
- 'Hi.'
Where's Denise?
She backed out didn't she?
I knew it.
Well, you guys have fun.
I'll just catch
a movie or somethin'.
Denise is just trying
to find a parking space.
Oh, great.
Park on the sidewalk.
- I'm Jesse.
- I'm Cheryl.
- I'm Zoey.
- I'm a happy camper.
Uh, Zoey, what an unusual name.
Are you one
of Frank Zappa's kids?
[laughing]
I was named after
my grandmother.
It was her dying wish
that her name live on.
Ouch.
Well! This is going
along swimmingly.
Why don't
I jet into the kitchen
and check on my
cheese delight, shall I?
Excuse me.
Joseph, you're on a roll.
Oh, Danny, hi.
- Hi.
- Oh.
I brought you these.
Oh.
A broccoli bouquet.
You remembered our vegetable.
Come on in.
I'd like you to meet
my best friend Joey.
- Hi.
Oh, and that's my
brother-in-law--
- Jesse.
- Denise.
I never thought
I'd see you again.
Have you two met?
Well, we were sort
of involved a while back.
You are that Denise?
This is the Jesse?
The one you named
your puppy after?
Well, that's all
ancient history now.
The important thing is that
my wonderful brother-in-law
and an dear old friend have
stumbled upon each other
and quite frankly folks,
don't they make a cute couple?
[oven bell dings]
Uh, saved by the cheese delight.
Excuse me.
- You're on a roll, Jesse.
- Shut up.
(Stephanie)
'Come, Michelle, follow me.'
Who do we look like, Michelle?
Daddy.
Now we are gonna
smell like daddy.
Freeze, nerd bombers.
What are you doing
dressed in dad's stuff?
I tried to stop her.
Shame on you, Michelle.
Can't take my eye off
you children for a minute.
Okay, now, take all
that stuff off now.
Okay, now don't
have a hissy fit.
Hey, that's dad's watch.
And his wedding ring.
I'm in charge and I say you
both are in really big trouble.
Dad's wedding ring went
down the drain.
Uh-oh.
[dramatic music]
Okay, Michelle's in bed.
Did you get daddy's wedding ring
out of the drain yet?
No. But I got a plan.
If I stick this gum
to the end of the tie.
I'll just stuff
the tie down the drain
and then when the ring
sticks to the gum
I'll pull it up
and voila.
You're gonna ruin dad's tie.
The ring is more important
than the tie.
You're so dumb.
I'm dumb?
Who knocked the ring down the
drain, Miss rocket scientist?
Okay, wait I think I got it.
Oh, no. It's stuck.
Well, I'd say, that
the day's about shot.
Goodnight.
Freeze.
I've to take the sink apart
and you have to
help me get dad's tool box.
If I help you, will you
let me stay up late
and do whatever I want?
Sure, why not?
I'll never be in charge again.
(Denise)
Thank you.
[whistling]
Ah, don't that look like
a hallmark card, huh?
Jess, this looks great.
You are the king
of blackened swordfish.
Thank you, Joseph.
I remember the first time
we ate blackened swordfish.
That weekend in New Orleans.
You're that Denise too?
Joseph, help me
out here, will you?
Yeah, she's that Denise too.
Oh, I got you. Uh..
Does anybody here
like impressions?
Oh, I love impressions.
- Ah, he's great.
- Thanks, Jess.
Uh, this is kind of a weird one.
This is Jimi Hendrix on guitar.
Here we go.
[imitating guitar]
Jimi Hendrix
was a great artist.
Who lived a tortured
and tragic life.
Ouch.
Hi, I'm Stephanie Judith Tanner.
I live upstairs.
Then why aren't you
upstairs living?
Because I came down
to teach you a new song
I learned in school today.
♪ If you're happy and
you know it clap your hands ♪
Come on, everybody.
♪ If you're happy and
you know it clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy
and you know it ♪
♪ Then your smile
will surely show it ♪
♪ If you're happy and
you know it clap your hands ♪♪
Okay.
♪ If you're happy and you
know it cover your eyes ♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it cover your eyes ♪
♪ If you're happy
and you know it ♪
♪ Then your smile
will surely show it ♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it cover your eyes ♪
♪ If you're happy
and you know it.. ♪♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it wiggle your ears ♪
♪ If you're happy and you
know it wiggle your ears.. ♪♪
Okay, now, this has
to be the right pipe.
Now, when the ring
falls out, catch it.
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready, D.J.
Okay.
[screaming]
- Did you catch the ring?
- Did I catch the ring?
Do I look like
I caught the ring?
Do you how to turn this off.
Another stupid question.
Well, give me something
to catch the water in.
Got it.
Here.
Great it's working.
But it's filling up fast.
Give me something bigger.
Got it.
This is worth more
than $2.50 an hour.
Here's a big bowl.
It's full of popcorn.
Stephanie, just throw it away.
Here.
- Now what?
- Just get rid of the water.
I did it.
(D.J.)
'You did nothing.'
What are we gonna do?
Let's get into
our bathing suit.
Danny, your water pressure
is a little low.
That should be
my only problem.
- I give you this.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
I'll be in the living room.
Jess, is there
any woman in this city
you haven't dated?
Danny, Denise and I
are over. Done with.
She came here tonight
because you two
had a magical moment
in the produce department.
- You really think so?
- Yes, of course, man.
She brought you
a bouquet of brocolli.
No one has ever
brought me broccoli.
You get your fanny in there
and you turn on
that vegetable charm, alright.
Get 'em, champ.
Cheryl, can I give you
a hand with those glasses?
Denise is my best friend.
Sorry. I was way out
of line for asking. Excuse me.
Listen, Denise..
I, I know this
must be kind of awkward
with Jesse and all.
It is for me.
Danny, I'm so sorry.
I'm not being fair to you.
I'm just gonna put
Jesse out of my mind.
I came over here tonight
because I thought you
were sweet and charming.
Now what do you think?
I still think you're
sweet and charming.
That is so sweet.
And charming.
And for you to say that
I'm sweet...and charming.
- Danny.
- Oh.
- What?
- I, I, uh..
I cut my lip
on your earring.
Danny, I'm so sorry.
I just can't stop
thinking about Jesse.
No, it's okay.
It's, uh, it's my fault.
I have very bad eye
to lip coordination.
If you'll excuse me, I'm..
I'm gonna go in
to the, uh, kitchen and clot.
- Excuse me.
Excuse me.
How did it go?
I cut my lip kissing Denise.
That girl's a wild animal.
I missed her lips
and kissed her earring.
Jess, she's still
hung up on you.
I'm sorry, Danny.
Hey, if it makes you feel any
better, my date hates my guts.
I promise you next time, it's
gonna go smooth sailing, okay?
Can't sail without water.
Switch.
D.J., how long do we
have to do this?
My fingers look
like little pink raisins.
- Oh!
- Whoa!
Whoa!
Uh, dad, everything
is under control.
Everything is under control?
Everything is under water.
Yeah. How did you do that?
Just turned the water
valve off, girls.
Let's remember
that for next time.
You kids have been watching
too much "double dare."
Don't look at me.
She's the babysitter.
Dad, I'm really sorry.
I accidently dropped your
wedding ring down the drain.
My wedding ring?
Alright, everybody,
out of the pool.
Excuse me. I need a minute
alone with my daughter.
Uh, nice to meet you.
I think I'm gonna tuck
myself right into bed
and get a full night's sleep.
I'm the good daughter.
[Michelle crying]
I'll take care of Michelle.
My guess is she's wet too.
Oh, let me help you,
I love babies.
[Michelle crying]
Jesse, can I talk
to you for a minute?
Sure. Hey, excuse us.
You know, maybe all
this is happening
so that we could
have a second chance.
You know, Danny
really likes you.
Jesse, I can't believe you
didn't feel anything when you
saw me standing there tonight.
Look, timings all
off between us.
And if it doesn't work out
with you and Danny, that's okay.
But, I don't wanna
be the reason.
I understand.
It just wasn't meant to be.
But I just have one question.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Why are you living in a room
with so many
little pink bunnies?
Well, it started of
with two and then..
[imitating cartoons]
Um, isn't Michelle cute?
Okey-dokey, Kermit.
How adorable.
Oh, do you hear that, Michelle?
She thinks you're adorable.
I was talking about you.
Would you hear that, Michelle?
She thinks I'm adorable.
Pretty.
Yeah, she's very pretty.
I felt so bad about
losing your ring.
I know I should have come
to you in the first place.
But I panicked.
I learnt a good lesson
in responsibility.
Well, okay.
Don't let it happen again.
Wait a minute.
"Don't let it happen again?"
That's the worst
dad speech I've ever heard.
I'm sorry, Deej.
Not that you don't
deserve a good dad speech.
I've just had
a horrible night.
Denise and I
didn't hit it off.
I guess, I'm just
not the dating type.
That's not true.
You're tall, you're smart,
and you're handsome.
Dad, you're a fox.
And if some girl's
too dumb to see that
then you don't
want her anyway.
Thanks, Deej.
That's the best daughter
speech I've ever heard.
[knock on door]
- I found your ring.
- Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Well, goodnight, dad.
Oh, by the way,
about my babysitting money.
Forget the tip.
Thank you.
This means a lot to me.
How did you find it?
Oh, it was on the floor.
I just went in to clean up.
You see, I can't stand
a messy bathroom.
Really?
I love that in a woman.
Here we go.
Well, Danny, thanks
for a nice evening.
You're very welcome.
- Nice meeting you.
- It was nice to meet you too.
- Buh-bye.
- Bye.
Denise,
I'm glad you and I
finally got to say
goodbye as friends.
Me too, Jesse.
Thanks.
I really enjoyed
meeting you.
Same here.
You were a lot of fun.
You're a lot of fun too.
Remember always pre-soak
your fine washables.
In tepid water.
Have mercy.
Call me.
- Call me too.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Jesse, don't call me.
And you guys were worried the
blind dates wouldn't work out.
Hey, the night turned out great.
Bathroom's still a mess.
I'll handle it, boys.
I'm feelin' so good I might
just clean the whole house.
♪ To all the girls
I've loved before ♪♪
Well, Jess, I got
to go catch that girl.
[crying]
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
[theme music]