[instrumental music]
Okay, Michelle. I'm putting
my act together for tonight.
What's your
favorite impression?
Jay Leno? So have you
seen this in the paper?
Now, this is ridiculous.
This never seems
to happen to you or I.
It always seems to happen
happens to those two wacky
brothers living
in Idaho somewhere.
Uh, is it, uh,
Rodney Dangerfield?
Oh, boy, I get no respect.
Michelle, you know,
when I was a baby
my parents used to save the
dirty diapers and throw me away.
Ah, you don't know comedy
when you see it, Michelle.
No re-pex.
No respect?
Me funny.
You funny? You little monster.
[laughing]
Kiss.
[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milk man
the paper boy evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get
to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
that knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Chip-a-dee-ba-ba-dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Hmm, Michelle,
that smells delicious.
What are you making?
May egg.
Eggs.
Oh, look, and you prepared
them my favorite way
polyvinyl side up.
[thumping]
Daddy, can you make
French toast for breakfast?
Dad, don't listen to her.
Waffles, waffles, waffles.
- French toast!
- Waffles!
- French toast!
- Waffles!
Hey! Hold it!
We'll go to the tie-breaker.
Michelle, you want
French toast or waffles?
Cookies.
I can live with that.
Jess, you better check the
expiration date on that mousse.
I've never seen
anyone look so wiped out.
Well, Joseph, we did it.
We stayed up all night
but finally finished
that jingle, pal.
Yeah, that sunrise
was real inspiring.
Good mornin'.
I'm here for the weekend.
[both screaming]
They're just kidding.
Kimmy, we're gonna
have so much fun.
[doorbell dings]
I'll get it.
Thanks for letting
me stay, Mr. Tanner.
Don't forget, I'm allergic to
dairy products, feather pillows
and six-year-olds.
Don't look at me.
I'm six and three quarters.
Your parents are
coming back Sunday, right?
Absolutely.
Wednesday at the latest.
Who wants to chip in
for a hotel?
- Mm!
- Joey?
Cheryl.
Are you the same Joey I've
been dating for two months?
Uh, no, I'm Joey's grungy
twin brother, Sloppy Joe.
- Let me go get Handsome Joe.
- Hold on. Wait a minute.
I'm just on my way to the gym.
And I thought
I'd stop by and see if maybe
you wanna go skiing
this weekend.
Really?
You wanna go away with me
knowing that
this could happen
again tomorrow morning?
Well, you haven't
seen my evil twin yet.
No-makeup Cheryl.
I'll pick you up
around 5:00.
Mm. Strawberry jelly donut.
I'll, uh, pick up
a dozen for the weekend.
- Bye, Joey.
- Bye.
- See you.
- Bye.
Oh ho ho, alright.
[instrumental music]
♪ Everybody's doin'
a brand new dance now ♪
♪ Come on baby
do the Loco-motion ♪
♪ I know you'll get to like it
if you give it a chance now ♪
♪ Come on baby
do the Loco-motion ♪♪
- What are you doing?
- "The Loco-motion."
Where'd you
get this tape?
- It was in there.
- Oh, no.
Please tell me you didn't tape
over my Casa de Pancakes jingle.
♪ Come on baby
do the Loco-motion ♪♪
- What are you doing?
- "The Loco-motion."
♪ Casa de Pancakes ole ♪♪
I can't believe it, it's gone!
You guys destroyed it!
Now, I'm gonna have to do
the whole thing over again.
Not the whole thing.
You've still got..
♪ Casa de Pancakes ole ♪♪
Now, D.J., this is my room.
And you have no right being
in here without my permission.
- But, I--
- Don't wanna hear any buts.
- But it was an accident--
- What did I just say?
Now, how much sense does
it take to check a tape
before you record over it?
Now, I want you guys, both get
out of here before I get mad!
Before?
Look, I'm really sorry.
It was an accident.
But you don't have to worry
'cause I'm never gonna
come in this room again.
What happened?
Ah, they messed up
my jingle tape.
Joey's going away,
I'm gonna have to do
this whole thing over again.
Don't you think
you're overreacting?
Overreacting? You think
I'm overreacting?
I'm not overreacting, okay!
I had this all worked out.
I spent the whole night doing
it, now my whole life is ruined!
Okay, now I'm overreacting.
Jess, you lost your
temper again, huh?
Well, she shouldn't be in here..
[sighs]
I-I'm just tired.
I lost my cool.
I did come down on her
pretty hard, didn't I?
She'll be okay?
I think you better
straighten this out.
Yeah. Alright.
I know just how to handle this.
Good.
- Jesse.
- Huh?
Do you need a hug?
Haven't I been through enough?
[instrumental music]
Hi, Michelle.
What a day.
D.J. was playing all day
with Kimmy Gibble Burger.
I don't believe
I'm gonna say this
but...would you play
with me, Michelle?
No.
Please. Pretty please.
I'll play anything you want.
Horsy.
Okay, hop on.
Go, horsy.
Come on.
Mr. Bear, I can't
believe I've sunk this low.
Deej, I need to
see you downstairs!
What did I do now?
You didn't do anything.
I got a fun surprise for you.
Be careful.
It could be a trick.
It's not a trick, hah.
Ta-da!
Harry Levin Trio?
Well, I got a good deal. Harry's
going back in the deli business.
Deej, uh, they're for you.
- For me?
- 'Mm-hmm.'
Why?
Well, I just wanted
to make sure we're buddies.
We cool now?
- Yeah, I guess.
- Alright. This is great.
Thanks for the skins, bud.
Okay...give
them a try, Deej.
Okay.
[off tune drumbeats]
How am I doing?
Well, you're facing
the right direction.
Let me show you. I played
a little in junior high school.
See if I remember anything.
Well, see, what you do is
you start off with
the bass drum like this.
Then you add the snare.
Then you add the high-hat.
And before long,
you get this.
[drumbeats]
[cheering]
Hey, what a welcome.
Look, we got drums.
No, we got drums.
No, I got drums.
Come on, Joey,
we better get to Tahoe.
Better hurry up.
The fog is really getting thick.
How thick is it?
Well, I don't wanna say
it's as thick as pea soup
but people are throwing
croutons out their windows.
[drumbeats]
And, now let's have
a big round of applause
for the Harry Levin Trio.
Oh, thank you. You're a nutty
guy. Thanks very much.
Thank you, boys.
Don't forget to turn off
the bubble machine.
Bye.
- How you doing, pop?
- Hey.
- Hey, Jess. Looking good.
- You too.
(both)
Thanks.
- How's it going, daddy-O?
- Everything is great.
I thought I'd
find you here.
Girls, your grandpa's
moving in...forever.
Give grandma a hug.
- Hi, grandma.
- Grandma.
What'd you do this time?
Well, I simply suggested
that she spend
a little less time
at night school
and concentrate on her
domestic responsibilities.
His exact words were,
"Yo, Irene
drop outta that flaky college,
come home and make me dinner."
I don't talk like that.
- First place--
- 'That's just what you--'
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
There's kids in the room.
D.J., I didn't know
you could play the drums.
I can't. Listen.
[off tune drumbeats]
Oh, no. That racket
is coming from my house.
Dad, Uncle Jesse
bought me these drums.
Oh, did he really?
Oh, good old Uncle J.
- Uncle J.
- Hmm?
Could I see you in the K?
Right away?
Why, yes, you may.
When can I have a turn?
Right after I get good at this.
So I guess
the answer is never.
Drums?
Did I do something to you?
Come on, Danny, every kid in
America wants a set of drums.
Good. Then we'll have
no trouble selling them.
[drumbeats]
Will you please
stop that drumming?
Oh, sorry.
What possessed you
to buy her drums?
Well, I felt bad about yelling
at her, so I thought I'd buy her
something to, you know,
kind of make things better.
That's how you
solve problems?
- You buy the kid off?
- It worked.
She loves the drums. She loves
me. What's your problem?
My problem is,
instead of talking to D.J.
you went out and bought her
the world's most obnoxious gift.
Well, a thousand apologies
for bringing the joy of music
into a young girl's life.
- Jesse--
- No, don't worry.
I'll handle this.
Deej...I got bad news.
Your dad doesn't want
you to have the drums.
But, dad, they're a present from
Uncle Jesse. That's not fair.
Thanks, Jess.
Now I'm the bad guy.
Come on, Danny,
let the kid have a drum.
Nick, I think you
should let them work it out.
Now that I live here,
I should be involved.
You live here now?
Nick will tell
you all about it.
Then you can
call me at home
and I'll tell you
what really happened.
Goodbye, everybody.
- Bye, mom.
- 'Bye, grandma.'
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
[sighs]
She'll be back.
- I'm back.
- Did I call it?
I am back because the fog is so
thick I couldn't see the steps.
Looks like you're
moving in too, huh, ma?
[laughing]
Well, isn't this great?
Here we are,
all fogged in together.
One big, happy family.
And, of course,
the Harry Levin Trio.
[drumbeats]
[instrumental music]
Dad, did you decide
about my drums yet?
No, honey. I wanna sleep on it.
Isn't it more comfortable
to sleep on your bed?
[laughing]
- Came to say goodnight.
- Goodnight, grandpa.
Night, Danny.
- Goodnight, honey.
- Goodnight, grandma.
Okay. Goodnight.
(together)
Goodnight, honey.
Goodnight, grandpa.
Goodnight.
I'll be, uh, sleeping
in Joey's room
in case anybody wants
to beg for forgiveness.
- Night. Goodnight, kids.
- Goodnight, grandma.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, grandpa.
- Goodnight. Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Okay, everybody in bed.
Dad, how come
everybody's mad tonight?
Maybe it's because
Kimmy Gibbler's here.
I don't think so.
[crunching]
Maybe.
"I meant what I said
and I said what I meant.
An elephant's
faithful 100%."
Here, look at that elephant.
Look at that elephant.
Hi.
Just came in
to check on Michelle.
Don't worry.
I didn't buy her a thing.
So, Michelle,
where were we?
Oh, yes, so the nice,
handsome prince with great hair
gave the young princess
a magical, musical gift.
Just then, the tall, geeky giant
came in and took the gift away.
The princess was so sad.
And that, Michelle,
was the day the music died.
Give me my kid.
Geeky giant.
Yeah, Michelle, that
was my favorite part too.
Give me a kiss.
[Jesse laughing]
Let me tell you the real story.
Once upon a time, the tall
and lean and elegant prince
from the Land of Wisdom
came to save the princess
from the hotheaded troubadour
who spent way too
much time on his hair.
Geeky giant.
[instrumental music]
[snoring]
Does she snore that loud
'cause she has all
that air in her head?
This is so weird.
She never snores when
she's sleeping in class.
Let's get her out of here.
Come on, Kimmy. Get up.
It's time for
your sleep walk.
Come on. Come on.
I pity the fool
who marries this woman.
- Let's go, Kimmy. Come on.
- 'Come on, Kimmy, come on.'
Come on, Kimmy.
Let's go visit your new bed.
(Kimmy)
Why?
'Cause you snore
like a garbage truck.
Look, Kimmy,
here's your new bed.
Snore your head off.
Now you're
Michelle's problem.
[Kimmy snoring]
Oh, no.
Shh!
[snoring continues]
Shh.
Sorry we never
made it out of town.
Yeah, me too.
At least that fog
cleared up a little.
Or we'd still be driving
around that Kmart parking lot.
- Goodnight.
- Night.
Shh.
[clattering]
[groaning]
Irene? Is that you?
(Irene)
Hello, sweetheart.
You wanna kiss and make up?
I don't know.
[both screaming]
First college, now this!
What's going on?
Oh, my God.
Mom.
What's going on here?
Nick, never in
a million, billion years
would I be in here
with your wife.
What's wrong
with his wife?
Nothing. You're a very
attractive woman.
Hey, back off, man. That's
my mommy you're talkin' about.
- Sorry.
- Here, put a robe on.
Nobody wants to see this.
Nick, your wife
shouldn't be sleeping alone.
She loves to cuddle.
Alright, now that
you're both awake
sit down and settle
this problem.
[sighs]
Hey, alright,
I'm sorry I lost my temper.
First thing in the morning,
we'll go to that shop you like
buy you a brand-new outfit.
Nick, you can't just
buy me a new outfit
and expect everything
to be all better.
You're right.
- I'll throw in a pair of shoes.
- Help me here.
Pop, can't you see, she wants
to talk about the problem.
She doesn't want you to buy
her gifts.
You can't just buy..
Oh, boy.
What's the matter?
The geeky giant was right.
Well, I did the same thing with
D.J. that you're doing with mom.
Pop, I got a lot of
great things from you.
I got your pride,
your ambition, your hair.
Thank you, by the way.
But I also got your temper.
And let's face it, it gets us in
a lot of trouble, doesn't it?
Are you two ready to
really talk to each other?
[chuckling]
When you say "You two"
you really mean me.
I think we can
do better, pop.
- Yeah, you're right, Jess.
- Good.
'Cause this fog is gonna lift
and, quite frankly, father
you can't live here.
That's my boy.
About this drum thing,
I'm sorry.
I was wrong and you were right.
Thanks, Jess.
What's going on down there?
D.J., what are you doin' up?
Well, first it was Kimmy snoring
and then there was a loud crash
then people screaming.
This time I was on my way
back from the bathroom.
Deej, can you come down here? I
wanna talk to you for a second.
Now?
Jess, it's 3 o'clock
in the morning. Can't it wait?
Well, I just wanted to tell her
I was wrong and you were right.
D.J., get down here.
Come on, honey. Uncle Jesse
needs to talk to you right away.
Dad, can I keep
my drum set?
Yes, you can
keep the drums.
Alright.
But the sticks
have gotta go.
D.J...
...I should have talked
to you today about our fight
instead of buying
you a big gift.
Don't be so
hard on yourself.
[chuckles]
You know, kid,
people have things
they don't like about
themselves and...well
me, I have my temper.
And sometimes I say
things the wrong way
and I, and I hurt
the people that I love.
[clicks tongue]
I don't blame you
for being mad at me.
I did tape over
your pancake jingle.
[clicks tongue]
Yeah, but I didn't
handle it right.
I mean, I embarrassed you
in front of your friend
and I hurt your feelings.
And then I tried
to buy your forgiveness.
That was wrong.
You know what I'm saying?
Kind of.
Maybe this will help you.
When I was a kid
and I did something wrong
my dad would blow his top
and send me to my room and..
...a couple hours later
he'd come back with
a "Batman" comic book.
And that's how I knew
everything was okay.
But we never...we never
talked about the problem.
You know, we never
talked about our feelings
the way that I felt.
'I don't want that to
happen to you and me.'
I want our relationship
to be better than that.
I think we're
doing pretty good.
Huh, you ain't seen
nothing yet, kid.
When I was your age, I used
to get in so much trouble.
I remember this one time
I was playing football
and pop was watching TV.
His favorite show,
"The Beverly Hillbillies."
I kicked a field goal
right through Jethro's face.
[laughing]
Oh, he yelled at
me all night long.
He had nothing better to do,
the TV was busted.
[chuckling]
Anyway, kid, the point that
I'm trying to make here is..
D.J.?
[chuckles]
[sighs]
And they lived
happily ever after.
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
[theme music]