[instrumental music]
Alright, way to go,
Michelle. What an athlete?
D.J., what's the big deal?
We're holding her hands.
I'm building her confidence.
This is a waste of time.
She's two-years-old.
I didn't skate till I was four.
- Well?
- She's lying about her age.
[instrumental music]
[Jesse Frederick singing
"Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ What ever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milk man
the paper boy evenin' TV ♪
♪ How did I get
to livin' here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's
confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody
who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're
lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
♪ Chip a dee ba ba dow ♪♪
[instrumental music]
[sighs]
Joseph, Joseph, Joseph.
We need something to give this
jingle some pizzazz, you know?
Sammy.
We'll both do it. We'll give
them a Sammy double whammy.
That's good thinking, man. Kind
of a dueling Sammy. Alright.
♪ Auchika auchik
auchikka auchikka ♪
♪ Auchika auchik
auchikka auchikka ♪
♪ Shop fast ♪
♪ Shop smart ♪
♪ Shop around the clock ♪
♪ At Hurry Mart ♪
♪ And I mean that babe ♪♪
No, it loses it without
the real Sammy.
Alright. We gotta have
this thing done by tomorrow.
How much time do we have
before the girls come home?
Well, at the stroke of three,
we turn back into housewives.
Alright, quick, what comes
to your mind when I say
24-hour convenience store?
Six dollars for a loaf of bread.
That's not a catchy jingle.
Alright, think. Now.
Hurry Mart has everything
you need on your way home.
Kind of like
the old general store.
Yes.
That's it.
Hurry Mart, the great
American general store.
I love it. Kind of like a little
Mini-Mart on the Prairie.
If you will, yes.
Alright, how much time
do we have left?
(together)
Hi.
(together)
None.
Uncle Jesse, it's your day
to drive the Honeybee carpool.
We can't be late.
Oh, I'm ready to
buzz out of here.
Joey, will you help me
with my karate?
Sure. Go for it.
Hiya!
Ooh. I pity the guy who tries
to attack you with a pencil.
Uncle, Jesse, will you
teach me an Elvis song
for the Honeybee talent show?
I'd be happy to help you
out there, little mama.
Thank you very much.
You're a beautiful uncle.
No, no, no. Get the..
Get the honey collar up,
get the lip up.
- Go ahead. Try it again.
- Thank you very much.
You're a beautiful uncle.
[instrumental music]
- Come on, phone. Ring.
- Ring.
Not you, the telephone, huh?
[sighs]
Well, I finally cleaned
under my bed.
Joey, the ad agency was supposed
to call at 1:30. It is now 1:32.
They must've hated
our Hurry Mart jingle.
Hey, relax, it's obvious
what happened.
They liked it so much
they threw a party
and lost all track of time.
What's obvious is,
that when you were a baby
somebody played
the bongos on your soft spot.
You're livin' in
a dream world, Joseph.
Come on, give me a hand
with these. They're heavy.
Alright, hurry up, now. Come on.
Ah, Michelle, take a walk
with us.
She locked us out.
Come on, Michelle.
Open the door.
Turn the little thingy
on the handle.
Come on. This is not funny.
Open the door.
[telephone ringing]
(Jesse)
'Get the phone.'
Hi, man.
Michelle, it's the ad agency.
Take a message. Grab
a pencil on the desk.
Oh, and I live
in a dream world?
- Joey, buh-bye.
- No. Joey, here-here.
Bye, man.
(Jesse)
'Michelle.'
She's going to the front door.
(together)
Michelle!
Hi, Michelle.
Where's-where's Joey
and Uncle Jesse?
Patio.
When did you learn
to say patio?
Sunday.
When did you learn
to say "Sunday?"
Monday.
(Jesse)
Michelle!
Come on, please open the door.
If you open, I'll give you
a cookie and a kiss.
- Yes.
- Where's my kiss and cookie?
I'll get the cookie.
[telephone ringing]
I'll get it.
Hello.
Mr. Malatesta. You just called?
We gotta get
a new answering service.
Wha-whoa! They bought
our jingle, Joseph !
- Yes!
- Alright!
That's awfully good news, sir.
Okay. Great.
We'll be down there.
- Thank you, sir.
- Alright.
- Joseph, go get ready.
Somebody still owes me a kiss.
Thanks. I was hoping
it would be you.
[instrumental music]
There they are.
- Very fine work, gentlemen.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr. Malatesta.
- Yeah.
You really
liked our jingle?
No, I like my wife.
I love the jingle.
[laughing]
It's so catchy.
♪ Hurry Mart ♪
♪ The great American
general store ♪♪
Yeah.
How would you guys
like to take that jingle
and turn it into
a whole campaign?
Really, you want us
to do a whole commercial?
The dialogue, concept,
the whole deal?
Exactly. I want this to be the
best you've ever come up with.
Yeah, no problem there. We've
never come up with one before.
[laughing]
I've faith in you guys. You've
sold us three jingles in a row.
And if you do well
on this project
I gonna offer you
a full-time job.
- Great.
- Whoa! Thank you, sir.
Alright, come on, Joseph.
We'll be back next week
with brilliance.
No, no, wait.
We've got a presentation
to put together today
because we pitch it
to the client tomorrow.
[laughing]
(Jesse)
'Pitch it to the..'
Come on, guys.
Right this way.
Right over here.
- Make yourselves at home.
- Thank you.
Come on.
- Whoa.
- Yes.
- You like the office?
- No, we like your wife.
We love the office.
[laughing]
You like..
What's with this guy?
Yeah, don't worry, Jesse. I'll
cover for you with the girls.
Dad, could you raise it
a little higher?
Honey, I'll be off
the phone in a minute.
Just practice
your scary faces.
So, uh, hey, Jess,
if, uh, if you guys
get stuck and need any help
with funny ideas
for your commercial, I could..
Hello? Hello?
Where's Uncle Jesse?
He's supposed to teach me an
Elvis song
for the Honeybee talent show.
Girls, Uncle Jesse and
Joey are stuck at work.
But the Honeybee talent show
is tomorrow.
I don't know whether to curl my
hips or wiggle my lips or what?
And tomorrow's my test
for my green belt.
I need help with my karate.
Nobody panic.
I am gonna teach you
how to do Elvis
and I'm gonna teach you
how to do karate.
Because Elvis did karate.
Watch this.
♪ Well since my baby
left me ha ♪
♪ I found a new place
to dwell hee haw ♪
♪ It's down at the end
of lonely street ♪
♪ At the hoo haa
heartbreak hotel ♪
♪ I feel so lonely
haa hee hee ha ♪
♪ I feel so lonely
haa haa haa hee ♪
♪ I feel so lonely
I could die ha ♪♪
Thank you very much.
That was Elvis?
Yeah.
Presley?
[instrumental music]
- Ooh.
- Dad, are you okay?
Too much Elvis.
I'm down at the end
of Backache Street
at Bengay Hotel.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- 'Hello.'
- Sorry we're home so late.
Oh, that's okay, Dad helped me
practice my karate.
And he taught me
to do Elvis.
Presley?
Just taking care
of business. Ha. Ooh.
- How was your day at work?
- The boss loved our ideas.
That's right, tomorrow,
we're gonna pitch our Hurry Mart
commercial to the client
and If they like it
and everything
goes well, we got a shot
at a full-time job.
That's great. Isn't
that great, girls?
- I think so.
- I guess.
Sure it is.
- Goodnight, girls.
- 'Goodnight.'
You know, this
is so amazing.
When you guys moved in here,
you didn't even like each other.
And now, you might be
working together full-time.
This is one of
the happiest days of my life.
It's pretty sad, isn't it?
- Go to bed, girls.
- 'Okay.'
Do you think they're really
gonna get a full-time job?
It sounds like it to me.
They were pretty excited.
But if Uncle Jesse, Joey
and Daddy are all working
who's gonna take care of us?
[instrumental music]
Okay, alright.
Everything is perfect.
Joseph, we've come up
with a great campaign.
Just think about it, pal.
Any moment, our future's gonna
come walking right
through that door.
Hi, people.
Michelle.
- Michelle, where's grandma?
- She's here.
She just can't walk
as fast as a two-year-old.
Mother, what are you doing here?
I'm dropping the baby
off, like we agreed.
Mom, listen, the client
is running late.
Can you watch her
a little while longer please?
No, no, I'm sorry.
I gotta get to school.
- What a gorgeous office.
- Mother.
You boys are becoming
so successful.
Thank you.
You know, I remember when Jesse
was just a little pumpkin
running around
in his little diapers..
[laughing]
He had the cutest little tushy.
- Oye!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Mother, please, you do this
every time I get a new job.
- Do not grab my tushy at work.
- Okay.
- Buh-bye.
- Goodbye.
Okay.
Uh-oh!
Joey, they're coming.
Do something with the kid.
Uh...ah! Look.
Here, Michelle, let's play
a little game of hide and seek.
You go under the desk and hide
and at some point in the..
...near future,
we'll come and seek you.
- 'Right. Okay. Here we go.'
- Here.
- Here we go, here we go.
- Alright.
Here we go, here we go.
Ad boys.
Gladstone, Katsopolis.
I'd like to introduce the vice
president in charge of marketing
for Hurry Mart, Edna Foley.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Hi. Sorry, I'm late.
- Gentlemen, it's all yours.
- Thank you. Alright.
Edna, our goal here is to get
people to associate Hurry Mart..
...with traditional
American values.
Our story begins with a typical
American family, the Applebys.
They're taking a drive
in their station wagon.
[guitar music]
You see Dad.
Hi, there.
Mom.
[imitating woman]
Hi.
Little Timmy.
[imitating boy]
Party, dude.
Sister Susie.
[imitating girl]
He he.
And, of course,
lovable Scruffy.
[imitating dog]
Down, Scruffy.
[whimpering]
Up ahead, a modern Hurry Mart
magically becomes
the old general store.
[music continues]
The friendly clerk
greets them at the door.
'He looks like your grandpa.'
Grandpapa.
[imitating old man]
Dagnab it, Pepino.
Look, it's the Applebys.
Howdy, folks? He he.
Inside, the Applebys
go shopping.
Uh..
And, uh..
The little kids run around.
Uh, see, there they are.
Running around.
They're running.
'Little kids are good
little runners, aren't they?'
They run. They run.
Ha ha ha.
Help me out, Joseph.
Uh, look at those Applebys go.
The family is...driving away
'waving goodbye
to the friendly clerk.'
Even Scruffy barks, "So long."
Woof woof.
Moo.
Moo?
A stray cow wanders by.
See? See?
A stray cow wanders by.
Uh, and as we bid a fond
farewell to the Applebys
and that unexpected,
yet adorable little cow
we hear..
♪ Hurry Mart ♪
♪ The great
American general store ♪♪
I'm not sure
how the cow fits in.
- But I love the concept.
- Alright.
Dagnab it, Malatesta.
You got yourself a new account.
Wonderful.
And you better make sure
these two are workin' on it.
Are you kidding?
These are my boys.
As a matter of fact, they just
went to work for me full-time.
- Smart move.
- Whoa, congratulations.
Come on, guys. We've got
a strategy meeting to go to.
You can put the stray cow
back in her barn.
Uh, Mr. Malatesta, there's
something you should know.
Uh, this is not a stray cow.
Joey and I have a baby.
Hey, your personal lives
are none of my business.
Dagnab it.
Alright, Joseph,
a toast to our new careers.
Um, urgh!
Urgh, this is the last time
I buy champagne in a can.
Oh, you're back.
You guys missed
a major banner Tanner day.
I'd like to present
San Francisco's
newest green belt, our own
karate kid, D.J. Tanner.
[applauding]
Show them some moves.
- Dad.
- Come on, Deej.
I spent a fortune
on karate lessons.
Give them a little, hiya!
Hiya.
Well, with no further ado
the winner of the
"Golden Hive Award" for Talent
the queen bee
of rock and roll.
[applauding]
Thank you, boys. I'm gonna buy
everyone of you a Cadillac.
Ah, Steph,
you look great.
How did you do?
I was a hunk,
a hunk of burning love. Hiya!
We're very sorry
we missed you girls today.
That's alright. I explained
you had to work late again.
But good news.
I got it all on tape.
Great. Well, Joseph and I have
a piece of good news ourselves.
We landed a full-time job today.
That's great!
Way to go.
- Aren't you girls happy for us?
- Yeah, come on, girls.
Where's our hug? This family
hugs when the mail comes.
How can you guys do this?
Yeah, what's gonna
happen to us?
We're gonna be all alone.
Girls..
...you know you're always
gonna be taken care of.
This job is a big chance
for Joey and Uncle Jesse.
Think of all the wonderful
things they've done for you.
'And not because they had to'
but just because they love you.
We're not gonna
leave you, girls.
We'll still see you every
morning before school.
That's right.
And everyday after work.
And every weekend.
All federal holidays.
But it won't be the same.
You guys missed today.
You missed everything yesterday.
Now, you're gonna miss
the whole rest of our lives.
And we'd miss you..
...so much.
Alright, maybe there were
a few things we didn't consider
when we took this job, Joseph.
Alright, Jess.
Red checkers are reasons
to keep the job.
Black checkers
are reasons to quit.
Alright, one major black checker
is that we get a lot
of great things
out of raising these kids.
I never thought I'd say this
before but I dig being Mr. Mom.
Never thought I'd say this
but I think
you look smashing
in an apron.
Dah!
Alright.
Missing the girls is one
good reason not to keep the job.
On the other hand, the job pays
more money than we've ever seen
in our lives
and that is a major red checker.
Right and we wouldn't
just be writing jingles anymore.
We're coming up with whole
commercial campaigns.
I mean that's a big step up.
Plus, we like what we do.
Alright, red checker.
And it did feel great
sitting in that big office.
- Being out in the real world.
- Yeah.
- King me.
- You got it.
Well, it looks like
we're going to work.
I guess so.
Joseph, there's one thing
I'm forgetting.
- Mm.
- My music.
I mean, if we took this job,
there wouldn't be any time
to write or play gigs.
That's a major part
of my life.
Stack a black.
And, hey, I'd have no time
to work on my comedy.
I mean, what good
would Bullwinkle's voice be
at the office?
Black checker.
Alright, Joseph,
really think about this.
Now, are we, are we ready
to give up our dreams for this?
- I don't want to.
- Neither do I.
But you have to admit
we've had more success in the
last three months of advertising
than of all those years
in music and comedy.
- Red checker.
Oh, boy.
You know, Jess,
life is like a salad bar.
You have all these great choices
but you can't help
but think to yourself
how often are they
changing those beets?
Hi, guys.
(together)
Hi.
Somebody wants to say goodnight.
- Say, goodnight, Joey.
- Goodnight, Joey.
Night-night, Michelle.
Oh, I love you, Michelle.
Black checker.
- Say, night-night, Jesse.
- Night-night, Jesse.
Mwah. Night, Michelle. Oh!
Guys, I swear I didn't do this
to make you feel guilty.
She really wanted
to say goodnight.
Hm, goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Oh, boy!
[instrumental music]
Hey, boys, wanna see me
about something?
Yes, sir.
Uh, sir, Jesse and I
are having some second thoughts.
- Oh!
- Let me ask you something, sir.
Our job is to sit down and come
up with brilliant ideas, right?
So it wouldn't really matter
where we're sitting
when we come up with these
brilliant ideas, right?
Is this a trick question?
No, no, no.
The point is that..
...it doesn't really matter
where we're sitting, it..
Okay, yeah, it was
a trick question. Joey.
You see, sir, it would
solve a lot of our problems
if we could work at home.
- Work at home?
- Yes.
Um, Jesse and I have some dreams
that we're not ready
to give up yet.
That's right. We have these kids
that we'd really miss.
Alright, the stray cow.
I suppose I could hire you
on a project-by-project basis.
It's a little unusual but if
working at home makes you happy.
Although it would be
inconvenient for me.
I guess it'd be best
for everyone concerned if..
...you guys got out of here.
To go home and go to work.
I love you guys.
It's a deal.
[laughing]
I got you.
You should see your faces.
[laughing]
Surprise!
Uh, Mr. Malatesta,
these are our kids.
- And this is Danny--
- Uh-uh!
Remember, your personal lives
are none of my business.
[laughing]
We brought you some plants
for your new office.
Alright, everybody, pack them
in the car and take them home
because that's where
we're working from now on.
- Alright.
- Yay!
Oh, did you guys
quit your jobs for us?
Well, no, we didn't quit.
We just arranged it
so we could work at home.
Daddy, can you do
your TV show at home?
No, honey. All those crew people
would scuff up our floors.
Unfortunately, most parents'
jobs aren't that flexible.
Hey, before we go home,
you gotta check out this view.
- Oh, yeah, come here.
- Come on.
Let's see if we can find
our house.
- Come on, Michelle.
- It's out there.
- Okay, wait.
- Come on, Michelle.
- Will it be like, over there?
- You're right.
- It's great.
- Oh, it's here. Look.
- Michelle.
- Michelle, open the door.
- Now, come on.
- Open the door.
- Open the door, Michelle.
- Michelle, please.
[instrumental music]
- 'Michelle.'
- 'It's cold outside.'
- Michelle, open the door.
- Open the door.
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ahh ♪
[theme music]
[music continues]