[theme music]
Look, Michelle, look who
Kimmy brought to see you.
Do you wanna
pet the baby Sharpei?
Uh-huh.
(Kimmy)
'Come and see our new puppies.'
Say hi fast before my mom
sells them for a bundle.
Hi, doggy.
Let's teach them some tricks.
Okay, uh, roll over.
(D.J.)
'Roll over.'
[chuckles]
Michelle, you make a great pet.
I wonder if she can catch
a Frisbee in her mouth.
Come on, Michelle.
Pet the puppies.
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Whatever happened
to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman
the paperboy evening TV ♪
♪ How did I get to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This old world's
confusing me ♪
♪ With clouds as mean
as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird
who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice
inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell
your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a place ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there
and you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting
to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Okay, Michelle. I'm watering
my big plant, Scooby-Doo.
You water your little plant,
Scrappy-Doo.
I'm thirsty, Michelle.
Water me. Water me.
Good morning, kids.
Come on, we gotta
watch Danny's show.
What's up?
Well, Becky's gonna
let me know with a wink
if I have a date
with her tonight.
One wink for yes.
Two winks for no.
If she gets something
caught in her eye
you could end up engaged.
♪ Wake up ♪♪
[instrumental music]
- Alright, here we go.
- Here.
Wake up, San Francisco,
I'm Danny Tanner.
And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
Is that a wink or a blink?
I don't know.
I was staring at her legs.
Anyway, before we bring our
first guest out I've a surprise.
I thought it'd be fun to see
our city fresh through the eyes
of a typical tourist
from the Midwest, Mr. Anderson.
(Danny on TV)
'Hi there, Mr. Anderson.'
Ooh!
What brings you
to San Francisco?
Mommy.
Howie, say hi
to the Bay Area.
Hi, Bay.
Hi, Howie.
Howie came all the way
from Nebraska
to visit with his Aunt Becky.
Oh, hold it. You said,
"Tourist." This is your nephew.
Yes, my nephew, the tourist.
Howie, before you give us
your impressions on the city
wave to Grandma Rose
and Grandpa Wilbur.
Howie cute.
Rebecca, this is a shameless
display of using our show
just to talk to your family.
I'm sorry you had to see that,
mom, dad, Cousin Ed.
Sorry, Danny. I-I just thought
it would be a nice Jess...ture.
Hot dog, Joseph. A double wink.
Chill that champagne, pal.
Howie, you're out of here.
Blow a kiss to San Francisco.
(Danny on TV)
'Oh, that was sweet. Come back
anytime, Mr. Anderson.'
We'll be back with some real
guests, so don't go away.
Ah, Michelle.
Joseph, it looks like
our girl Michelle's
got her very first crush.
You mean that, Michelle?
You really like Howie?
Nice boy.
[chuckles]
[instrumental music]
Wait right there.
Michelle, do you know
who's right outside
that door, young lady?
I don't know.
Well, then, Joey,
tell Michelle about the bachelor
she chose for her dream date.
Pa pa pa.
Well, he's 2'9" and has blond
hair and baby-blue eyes.
He hails from Valentine,
Nebraska where his hobbies are
playing with his food..
...and hiding
his shoes in the toilet.
Michelle, say hello
to Howie Anderson.
Howie!
Howie, say hi to Michelle.
Hi, Michelle.
Hi, Howie.
I know what
you're thinking, Michelle.
He's a lot taller in person.
- Monkey.
- Thank you.
Girls, I'd like you to meet
Michelle's very first boyfriend
Rebecca's nephew, Howie.
- Hey, kid.
- Hi, Howie.
Hi, girls.
He's cute, Michelle.
Now you have a boyfriend
and I have a boyfriend, and..
Well, two out of three
is not bad.
[laughs]
Dad, was she really necessary?
Jess, could you
watch the kids tonight?
I wanna catch Joey's
set down at the Laugh Machine.
'Cause I love his act,
and I get in free.
Becky and I were supposed
to go out tonight.
No, that's okay.
I can bring Howie back here.
I can give my sister a break
on her last night in town.
The kids can play
and...later you and I can play.
Have mercy.
You hear that, Michelle?
It's our very first double-date.
Camel.
Elephant.
I see where Michelle
picked up that little trick.
Hey, I got it from the kid.
Ask her.
[instrumental music]
This thing's broken.
[snips]
There, it's fixed.
Good.
'Cause it's yours.
I got it.
The all-time monster classic.
"The Wolf Man."
Alright!
All wrong.
You're not gonna
watch this movie with us.
Yes, I am. It's my house too.
This is too scary for you
and this conversation is over.
We'll see about that.
Uncle Jesse! Uncle Jesse!
She is such a tattletale.
I am not.
And I'm telling you said that.
What's all the ruckus in here?
They say I can't
watch "The Wolf Man."
Whoa. "The Wolf Man."
This is a great flick.
This guy's got scarier
hair than Don King.
I gotta see this movie!
You're too young.
Remember when you
watched "The Blob?"
You wouldn't go near
Jell-O for a month.
So?
I watched "The Wizard Of Oz"
and I wasn't afraid of
the Wicked Witch of the West.
[imitating witch]
See, I'm cool.
[Jesse laughing]
Jess, maybe she should wait
till she's a little older.
Come on. They can handle it.
Hey, the key to watching
"The Wolf Man" is to know that
he's just a regular guy
that gets a little cranky
when the moon comes out.
[Jesse laughing]
I slay myself.
You'll be sorry.
"The Wolf Man"
is gonna scare you big time.
If you don't scare
me...nothing will.
[laughing]
Sorry.
Jess, I don't think
that Stephanie's
old enough to watch
"The Wolf Man."
Oh, come on, it's just
a fun little monster movie.
What's fun about a guy with a
lot of hair who bites people?
Come here, I'll show you.
Jess, are you telling me
that you'd let your own kids
watch anything they wanted?
Well, I'd make sure little
Dustin knows the difference
between real
and make-believe, but--
Yes, but what if..
Dustin?
You would name a kid Dustin?
Yeah, you got a better name?
I sure do. Emily.
No son of ours
is gonna be called Emily.
Our daughter's name is Emily.
Our son's name is Prescott.
Prescott?
May as well name him Emily.
Our son is gonna
be called Dustin.
- Prescott.
- Dustin!
- Prescott.
- Dus..
When did we have a kid?
I don't know.
I'm sorry I missed it.
[both chuckling]
Oh, God, I'm embarrassed.
Oh, boy.
- I'll make you a deal.
- Hmm.
We won't name our kids
until we've been dating
at least three months.
Alright, that's a fair deal.
- Deal.
[instrumental music]
[wolf howling on TV]
[imitating wolf howl]
Hey, I'm into it.
(D.J.)
'Hey, look out, lady! The Wolf
Man's behind that tree.'
Why is that woman
in the woods at night anyway?
She should be in a restaurant.
Shh!
[intense music]
- Drinks?
- Ah!
Ah!
I told you
they'd be scared.
They were scared of you, not the
movie.
Shh. Something's gonna happen.
I can tell because
the music's getting scarier.
You girls all know that this
is just make-believe, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Shh.
[woman screams on TV]
[all scream]
You women okay?
Good. Alright.
Enjoy the movie. It's a good
flick. Thank you. Excuse me.
[instrumental music]
(both men)
Aww-w-w!
(both women)
Aww-w-w!
(all)
Aww-w-w!
- Connie, look at your son.
- What a cute couple.
(Jesse)
'They haven't left
each other's side all day.'
Well, we'd better get going.
You don't wanna miss your plane.
You're right. It might
accidentally take-off on time.
[all chuckling]
Come on, Howie.
Wake up. It's time to go.
Gotta go home.
Howie no go.
Howie yes go.
Howie go back home.
Me go.
No, little kemosabe.
No can go to Nebraska.
Take many moons.
Okay.
Now say goodbye to Howie.
Bye, Howie.
Well, she's hugging already.
She's definitely a Tanner.
Let's go, come on.
Come on.
- Alright, let's go. Come on.
- Alright, bye, everybody.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
I'm sorry, Michelle.
But you have
to go back to sleep now.
- There you go. Goodnight.
- Night-night.
Howie no bye-bye.
Howie.
[instrumental music]
Come on, honey.
You've gotta go to sleep.
(Danny)
'It's 2 a.m.'
It's like she lost
her best friend.
All she kept
saying was "Howie. Howie."
Shh! Don't say the "H" word.
Look, she's finally asleep.
- Shh! Goodnight, Michelle.
- Goodnight, Michelle.
[car horn honking]
D.J.?
D.J., did that horn wake you up?
No, you woke me up,
you little nerd bomber.
I know the Wolf Man's
not real but if he was
would he be driving an Isuzu?
Stephanie, the Wolf Man
is just an actor
who needs a flea collar.
Scary movies are just for fun.
In that case, I'm having
the funniest night of my life.
Ha ha ha.
[howling]
[shrieks]
That was the Gibblers' dog.
Look, I'll go make you some warm
milk. That'll help you sleep.
Thanks, D.J. Hurry up.
Mr. Bear, did George Michael
have that much hair
on his face yesterday?
I didn't think so.
[howling]
[dog barking]
[screaming]
Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on here?
Why are you choking Mr. Bear?
I thought he was the Wolf Man.
You said there was no Wolf Man.
Joey, go get him.
He's driving an Isuzu.
What's going on?
"The Wolf Man" movie
scared Stephanie.
Who gave you permission
to watch a monster movie?
What? I just woke up.
How could I be in trouble?
You let Stephanie watch
"The Wolf Man"
and now she can't go to sleep.
Ah, well, D.J. and Kimmy
were watching, and I didn't..
Steph, you said
you weren't gonna be scared.
And you believed me?
Honey, I know you wanna do
everything your big sister does
but sometimes some things
have to wait until you're older.
Every time I close my eyes
I see that scary Wolf Man.
I'll admit he's no Rob Lowe,
if you saw home with his parents
you'd probably think
he's pretty funny.
The Wolf Man has parents?
Get out of here.
Well, sure he does.
Let me show you.
Uh, see, we need a Wolf Man.
Someone with wild,
uncontrollable hair.
Oh, gee.
Who let her watch the movie?
Okay, I'll be Wolfie.
Argh!
Good, I'll be the father,
Mr. Wolf.
And I'll be the mother,
Virginia Wolf.
Wolfie, what's the matter
with you? Look at that posture.
Straighten up.
You'll get a hunchback.
You'll never get into
Notre Dame. Kids nowadays.
Were you out scaring
people again, young man?
King Kong does it.
Oh, and I suppose
if King Kong jumped off
the Empire State Building,
you'd do it too.
Now, there's going to be
no more howling at the moon
no more chasing cars,
and you tell little Stephanie
you're sorry for scaring her.
I'm sorry, Steph. I didn't think
the movie would frighten you.
It's okay, Wolfie.
I'm not scared anymore.
Right.
Now, you see, Steph, see?
Next time you're scared,
you take all that scary stuff
and turn it
into something real funny.
That'll come in handy next time,
I watch a monster movie.
Which will be never.
- C'mon, Steph, let's go to bed.
- Yeah.
- I'll go tuck them in.
- I'll take care of them .
You, young man, go right
back to bed, and remember..
...brush your fangs
and comb your face.
[instrumental music]
Good morning, Michelle.
Where Howie?
Oh, pal, your friend Howie
went back home to Nebraska
which is a good four-week
toddle from here.
Come on.
You want some breakfast?
I want Howie.
Michelle.
Michelle, you..
Anybody out there? Help.
Alright, Michelle,
now if I give you a ride
will that make you happy?
No.
How's she doing?
Howie.
Any other questions?
We gotta cheer this kid up.
Oh, Michelle, we'll play with
your rings. Oh, these are great.
- Oh, let's play zoo.
- Want me to read you Dr. Seuss?
Let-let's sing.
♪ Row row row your boat ♪
♪ Gently down the stream ♪
♪ Merrily merrily
merrily merrily ♪♪
Stop.
Where Howie?
You know what? I got just
the thing that will work.
Come on, Michelle. Let's go.
Come with me, Michelle.
I probably didn't need
to say that now, did I?
Howie!
We may have to move to Nebraska.
This is gonna get old fast.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
There you go.
Oh, come on, Michelle.
You know what I love more than
anything in this whole world?
That's to see you smile.
Now, come on.
Give me one of those famous
Michelle smiles, please.
Howie.
[sighing]
Look, kid.
I know you miss
your friend Howie
but don't forget about your
family who loves you like crazy.
Right here. Remember all
the good times we had together.
I'm gonna sing that song
I wrote for you, okay?
- Okay.
Let me sing it
for you, alright?
Alright.
♪ Michelle's at home ♪
♪ The cats are purring ♪
♪ She doesn't know
what worry is ♪
♪ She's safe and warm
and she's not sorry ♪
♪ She doesn't know
what sorry is ♪
♪ Michelle's smiling ♪
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
♪ Michelle's smiling ♪
[music continues]
♪ The news is on
and Michelle's laughing ♪
♪ Can't make sense
of what the pictures show ♪
♪ She knows no fear
she keeps on laughing ♪
♪ If we could only know
what Michelle knows ♪
♪ Michelle's smiling ♪
♪ Michelle's smiling ♪♪
[babbling]
Oh, there you go. That's a girl!
Where's Howie?
[instrumental music]
Jess, where are you?
I'm comin'. I'm comin'.
(D.J.)
How's Michelle doing?
Oh, the poor kid's got
a broken heart.
Hup.
I have a tape here
that might help.
- Let's watch the tape.
- Watch this, Michelle.
Howie!
Hi, Michelle.
Hi, Howie.
How are you?
I'm fine.
I miss you.
Me too.
Ah! Now, that's the smile
I was thinkin' about, kid.
Well, Becky, you might be
on to something here.
Fisher-Price video dating.
We made it last night
at the airport.
I just thought these two
would make great video pals.
This is weird.
I mean I know
Michelle's only two
but she's acting
like a real person.
I guess you're never
too young to need a friend.
Our little Michelle
is growing up.
Maybe it's time to put her in
a playgroup with kids her age.
That's a great idea.
At least she'd have some
friends in the same zip code.
I'm so impressed with you.
I mean y-you're right
on about everything.
You were right about
the monster movie
you came up with this idea
to make a tape for Michelle..
...you're gonna make
a great mom.
Thanks. You already are one.
Howie again.
Michelle, you just saw Howie.
Howie. Howie. Howie.
Howie. Howie. Howie. Howie.
Hey! Why don't we
watch a little HTV?
All Howie all the time.
[all chuckle]
[instrumental music]
[all chuckle]
(all)
Howie. Howie.
Howie. Howie. Howie.
[theme music]
[music continues]
♪ Do be do ba ba da ♪♪