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[instrumental music]
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Nine...ten!
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Okay, ready or not,
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here I come!
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- Here I am.
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- Michelle, come here.
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Now, we're gonna have to have
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a little chat, you and I.
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See, the name of the game
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is, "Hide And Go Seek."
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You're playing
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"Hide And Say, Here I Am."
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- Capisce?
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- Capisce.
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Fine...let's play again,
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but this time
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I'll hide and you come
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seek me, okay? You okay?
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So you count to three.
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Cover your eyes, cover your..
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No, no peeking! No peeking!
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Alright, ready?
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(Jesse)
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'Alright, count!'
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One, two
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fvee, four, five.
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Here I am!
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I win again.
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Capisce?
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Capisce.
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[gibberish]
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[Michelle giggling]
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[John Stamos singing
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"Full House" theme song]
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♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
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♪ Aah ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milk man
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evenin' TV ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lost out there ♪
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♪ And your all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting ♪
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♪ To carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Doooby doo baa ba dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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[Stephanie sighs]
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D.J., if it's not right
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by now, put on a hat!
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Stephanie, today's my first day
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at junior high school
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and I wanna look perfect.
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Wait.
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Almost.
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There! Quick, spray!
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Alright.
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All over.
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Keep spraying.
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Get every inch.
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Alright.
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Perfect!
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Very natural.
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Finally, I'm going to a school
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that doesn't have a sandbox.
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How can you be so happy?
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This is the first time
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we won't be at the same school!
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Aren't you gonna
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miss me like crazy?
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Stephanie, try to understand.
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You are a child!
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I'm a young adult.
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And starting today,
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we live in different worlds.
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We don't even live
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in different rooms.
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Please, don't remind me!
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Come on, Deej.
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Stay at my school.
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I need my big sister
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to stick up for me.
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What if some kid calls me
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a...lameoid zombie dog?
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I don't know, bite 'em.
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Look, I didn't have
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a big sister
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to stick up for me
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and I did fine!
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And so will you.
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But when I get to junior high,
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you'll be in high school.
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When I get to high school,
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you'll be in college.
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When I get to college..
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...you'll be working
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at McDonald's.
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Mr. Avalos, Jesse and I
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are thrilled that the ad agency
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has assigned us
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to your account.
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Extremely thrilled, sir.
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Yeah.
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We have some exciting ideas
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about the motor-oil campaign.
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Extremely exciting ideas, sir.
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[doorbell ringing]
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You get the door. Don't worry.
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I'll say everything twice.
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Great.
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Hello! Wait, let me guess.
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I know why you're here.
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You couldn't get through
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the day without
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a good morning kiss, right?
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Oh, actually Danny needed
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a ride to work
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but as long as I'm here--
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Oh, have mercy!
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This early?
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I hope you brushed.
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Kimmy, here's a wild idea.
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This year why doesn't D.J. pick
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you up on the way
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to school, huh?
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No, can't do.
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My dad eats his breakfast
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in his underwear.
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Yes, sir. Thank you.
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Goodbye, sir.
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- What happened, Joseph?
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- Jess, it's all set.
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We meet Mr. Avalos at 10 a.m.
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at the Cloverdale Country Club.
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He wants us to pitch
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the campaign
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while we play golf!
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Yes!
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Golf? No, Jo, no.
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I'm not playing golf, uh-huh.
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I'm sorry, Joseph.
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Golf is for little old ladies.
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- I play golf!
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- And hot young babes.
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[laughing]
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What?
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What?
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You can't play golf, can you?
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- Please, I can play golf.
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- No, you can't.
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- Yes, I can.
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- No, you can't.
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- Yes, I can.
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- No, you can't.
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Folks, if there's one thing
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I could do, it's play golf.
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And when the last time
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I was playing golf..
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...I stepped up to the tee,
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hit the ball, bada bing
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right past the windmill
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into the little clown's mouth.
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Girls, I got your lunches!
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Dad, we're right behind you!
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Oh, well, here are your lunches.
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Mr. Tanner, wake up.
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In junior high,
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the cool kids buy their lunch.
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If you wanna be a good dad,
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give her a bag of cash.
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Here, D.J.,
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buy yourself some lunch
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And make some new friends.
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You guys are gonna have
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such a great time.
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Junior high was when I got
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my first boyfriend
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my first slow dance
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my first slow kiss.
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And then I woke up,
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and it was all a dream.
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- Goodbye, Dad. See you later.
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- Bye-bye. Have fun.
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Wait for me.
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I go too.
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Hold on,
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you little Sesame Streaker.
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You don't start nursery school
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till next year.
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But Michelle, you can practice
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with the real school lunch.
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No cookies?
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Well, I'm going now..
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...the only Tanner
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left in my whole school.
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- Steph, it's gonna be--
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- No, really.
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It's a beautiful thing.
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Honey, honey..
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I know you're a little scared,
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but trust me.
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Everything's gonna be fine.
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So I guess, I shouldn't even
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bother with a phony cough?
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No.
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(Jesse)
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Have a good day at school, kid.
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Knock 'em dead.
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(Joey)
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'Have fun, sweetie. Bye.'
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The only Tanner.
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[sighs]
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Well, now what?
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[indistinct chatter]
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But why do you like that?
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Look out, scrub.
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[sighs]
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These new kids are so tiny.
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They're embryonic.
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[all laughing]
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- D.J.?
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- Kimmy?
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Don't ever leave my side again.
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That kid has a moustache!
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These people,
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they're, like, totally mature.
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Where are we, The Young
240
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,795
And The Restless Junior High?
241
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Let me see your schedule.
242
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We only have one class together,
243
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sixth-period Spanish.
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Great, the only time
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we're together
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we can't speak English.
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- D.J., Gibbler, hi!
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- Hi!
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Do we know you?
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Duh, we only went
251
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to school together
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for the past six years.
253
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Kathy Santoni!
254
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,614
(both together)
255
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,614
Kathy Santoni?
256
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You grew up.
257
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Big time.
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Pretty intense summer!
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Okay, here's what
260
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I found out so far..
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All the cute guys
262
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take metal shop
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and everyone makes out
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after school
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on the football field.
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Everyone?
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Well...maybe not everyone.
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[bell ringing]
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[girls giggling]
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Well...I guess we gotta go.
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I might go back
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to the sixth grade.
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Stephanie really needs me.
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I play golf, too.
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No, Michelle,
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you sit right here
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and watch Uncle Jesse
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get a golf lesson first.
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Okay, babe?
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Got it, dude.
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[laughing]
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[laughing]
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Thanks for the clothes.
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If the sun goes down,
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we could play
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by the light on my pants.
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Hey, we're doing this
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to impress the client.
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How, by burning out his retinas?
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Get your mind off your pants.
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Watch my swing.
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Right.
293
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,113
That's it?
294
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,113
That's the whole thing?
295
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,115
Piece of cake!
296
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,159
Watch the kid take care
297
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,159
of business here.
298
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:37,702
[clears throat]
299
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,876
[humming]
300
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,378
Jess?
301
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,880
Elvis never made
302
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,880
one golf movie.
303
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,300
- Alright, here we go.
304
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,300
- Let's go.
305
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,930
Uh-oh!
306
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,139
Yeah, that was great.
307
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,933
You see, uh, very few golfers
308
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,436
can drive a lawn that far.
309
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,728
Here, come on,
310
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,728
I'll help you out.
311
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,189
- Alright, give me a hand.
312
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,189
- Okay.
313
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,732
[clears throat]
314
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,613
I hope this is golf-related.
315
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,823
If it wasn't,
316
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:15,823
would I be doing it?
317
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,287
- Alright, here we go.
318
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:20,287
- Here we go.
319
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,163
- Ball off your left heel.
320
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,163
- Ball off your left heel.
321
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,831
Remember, always keep
322
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,831
your head down.
323
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,459
Always keep
324
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,459
the head down. Good.
325
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,751
- Bend your knees.
326
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:26,751
- Bend the knees.
327
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,128
- Keep your head down.
328
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,128
- Head down.
329
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,754
- Right elbow in.
330
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,754
- Right elbow in.
331
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,005
- Head down.
332
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,005
- Sorry.
333
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,882
Now, bring the club back slowly.
334
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,801
Club back slowly.
335
00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:37,011
Oh, sorry. Head down.
336
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,014
- Whack and follow through.
337
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,014
- Whack and follow through.
338
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,641
You're ready to try one
339
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,641
for yourself?
340
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:45,604
No, I wanna play like this
341
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:45,604
for 18 holes. Get off!
342
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,106
Get you something to hit.
343
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,108
- Nice, easy target.
344
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,108
- Easy target.
345
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:54,028
Here we go.
346
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,114
[Jesse sniffles]
347
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,952
Daddy'd be mad.
348
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,581
Not if Michelle be quiet.
349
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,626
My turn.
350
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,884
I'm good.
351
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,644
See how she kept her head down?
352
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:26,978
Shut up!
353
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,108
[indistinct chatter]
354
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,818
Over here! I saved you a seat.
355
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,157
- Thanks. My name's--
356
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,157
- Not you, scrub.
357
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,825
The seat's taken.
358
00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,079
Oh, here comes Mrs. Agbabian.
359
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,581
Good way to lose your lunch.
360
00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:49,125
[laughs]
361
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,170
Young lady,
362
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:52,170
keep the aisle clear.
363
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,256
[whistles]
364
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:57,676
That will be enough of that!
365
00:11:57,716 --> 00:12:00,053
Now, find a seat.
366
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,013
That's a very snappy outfit.
367
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,140
[all laughing]
368
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,063
(female #1)
369
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,063
'Cute outfit.'
370
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,149
[all laughing]
371
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,078
Hi, how's it going?
372
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,581
(woman on phone)
373
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,581
'At the tone,
374
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,581
Pacific Daylight Time'
375
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:31,750
'will be...12:14, exactly.'
376
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,545
[beep]
377
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,630
'At the tone,
378
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,630
Pacific Daylight Time..'
379
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,760
[sighs]
380
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,760
My beautiful lawn..
381
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,722
...hacked into pieces.
382
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:46,600
Another senseless act
383
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:46,600
of backyard violence.
384
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,476
Gopher!
385
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,895
A gopher did this?
386
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,439
[laughing]
387
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,690
- Hello!
388
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:53,690
- Hi.
389
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,567
Two gopher.
390
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:56,693
Oh, you mean, two golfers?
391
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:59,862
No, one golfer, one gopher.
392
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,239
[laughs]
393
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,534
You were, uh, hitting golf balls
394
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,534
in my back yard?
395
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:07,704
I swear, I didn't hit one ball.
396
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,414
Took us six hours just
397
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:09,414
to play nine holes.
398
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,998
Tell him your score, Jess.
399
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,251
I got us the motor oil account.
400
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,251
The client loved my ideas.
401
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,420
- Oh, that's great, Jess.
402
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,420
- Thank you.
403
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,756
Tell him your score, Jess.
404
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,674
- I shot a hundred.
405
00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,674
- Jess?
406
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,260
And 50.
407
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,512
- Jess?
408
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,512
- Nine. You happy?
409
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,014
Actually, I'm very sorry.
410
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,058
Sorry that I don't have it
411
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,058
on videotape!
412
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,268
[laughs]
413
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,645
- Hi, Deej.
414
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,645
- Hi, guys.
415
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,812
Hey, how was your first day
416
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,812
of school?
417
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,649
Oh, it was your
418
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,649
typical first day.
419
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,860
I got my classes, I went
420
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:39,860
to 'em, and now I'm home.
421
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,820
Oh, dad, would you mind tomorrow
422
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,532
if I dressed a little more
423
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,532
junior highish?
424
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,660
Oh, no. Hey, I understand.
425
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,120
You wanna be hip,
426
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,120
like your rad dad.
427
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,374
Yeah, that's it.
428
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:53,374
Thanks, Dad, you're the best.
429
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,044
Second grade is so cool!
430
00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,298
- Hey, great! What happened?
431
00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,298
- Everything!
432
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,633
You happen to be looking
433
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,927
at the Room Seven
434
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,927
official fish feeder!
435
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,805
(all)
436
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,805
Whoo-hoo!
437
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,931
- And Uncle Jesse?
438
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,931
- 'What?'
439
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,476
Now that D.J.'s finally gone
440
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,935
when people say,
441
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,935
"Hey, Tanner".
442
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,729
I know they're talking to me.
443
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,897
- Alright, kid.
444
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,897
- 'Way to go.'
445
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:20,067
And daddy, you'll love this.
446
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,445
One of the shrimpy little
447
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,445
first-graders asked me
448
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,030
"Where's the cafeteria?"
449
00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,072
I said
450
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,491
"Can't you read that big sign
451
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,826
that says, cafeteria?"
452
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,662
And the kid says,
453
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,662
"No, I can't read."
454
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,707
They can't even read!
455
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,250
What a great day!
456
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,223
(both)
457
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,223
Ew!
458
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,310
Hmm..
459
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,312
Well, it's almost time
460
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,312
for school.
461
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,022
Do you think
462
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,022
we look old enough?
463
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,691
How old do we wanna look?
464
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:03,152
Old enough to keep me out of
465
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:03,152
that phone booth during lunch.
466
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,112
At least you got to eat.
467
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,157
I had to give my lunch
468
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,157
to a girl with a tattoo.
469
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,661
We could use
470
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,661
a little more mascara.
471
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,037
Yeah.
472
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,040
Assume the position.
473
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,504
Alright, a makeup party.
474
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,924
I wanna look
475
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,924
just like Superstar Barbie.
476
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,761
Chill, child.
477
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:27,761
You are way too young.
478
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:30,096
I want makeup.
479
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,474
Here, Michelle, you can put on
480
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:33,474
a little lipstick.
481
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,102
And I'm too young?
482
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,272
How rude!
483
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,649
(Danny)
484
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,649
'Let's go, girls.
485
00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,649
It's getting late.'
486
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,819
Uh, we're coming, Dad!
487
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,571
Well..
488
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,489
...how do we look?
489
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,702
Cheap.
490
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,873
Alright!
491
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,626
- Kimmy!
492
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,626
- Wait.
493
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,469
- Kimmy?
494
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,469
- Call me Kimberly.
495
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:16,392
Joseph...it's finally happened.
496
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:19,353
He's cleaning liquid soap.
497
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,816
Don't be silly. I'm just
498
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,816
cleaning my rubber gloves.
499
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,192
Danny, there's no shame
500
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:25,192
in therapy.
501
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,821
Bye, see you later.
502
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,363
- Bye, guys.
503
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,363
- See you.
504
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,866
- You should--
505
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,866
- Wait a minute.
506
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,160
Hold it right there.
507
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,789
Dad, we have to get to school.
508
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,458
You have to get past me first.
509
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,169
You said I could look
510
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,169
a little more junior highish.
511
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,630
Where is this junior high?
512
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,630
Caesars Palace?
513
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,716
You may go to school.
514
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,385
I guess, we're not as old
515
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,385
as we thought we were.
516
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,846
Are we, now?
517
00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,393
I'll see you at school, Deej.
518
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,895
So long, boys.
519
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,274
Dad, before you say anything
520
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,609
you were not at school yesterday
521
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,236
and you did not see
522
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,236
the other girls.
523
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,072
D.J., I don't care
524
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,072
about the other girls.
525
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,658
My daughter
526
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,658
is not going to school
527
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,661
dressed like Jessica Rabbit.
528
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,539
Uncle Jesse, Joey,
529
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,539
you're from this century.
530
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,332
Tell him he's wrong.
531
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,754
Fine, I'll go tie some bows
532
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:26,754
in my hair
533
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:27,881
put on my Garanimals
534
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,966
and go skipping off
535
00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,966
to school!
536
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,886
I'll be daddy's little girl
537
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,886
forever.
538
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,303
Not forever!
539
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:37,181
Just until you're my age!
540
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,975
Alright, boys. Let's go take
541
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:38,975
care of business.
542
00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:40,309
We'll get her through this.
543
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,979
- Come on.
544
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,979
- Hold it.
545
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,480
Do we have any idea how
546
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,480
to get her through this?
547
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,400
- Not a clue, no.
548
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,400
- I'm not even in the ballpark.
549
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,442
Oh, man!
550
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,444
You know what all this means?
551
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,781
We are on the verge
552
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,781
of raising a teenager.
553
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,116
Phew! She's gonna be
554
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,116
going to wild parties.
555
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,327
She's gonna be drivin' a car.
556
00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,705
She's gonna be dating guys.
557
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,041
Like me!
558
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,167
She's never leaving
559
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,167
the house again.
560
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:10,924
[knock on door]
561
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:14,010
- 'D.J.?'
562
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:14,010
- Leave me alone.
563
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:17,680
I can't. I'm your dad.
564
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:17,680
It's my job.
565
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:18,932
Honey..
566
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,059
...I wanna know
567
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,059
what's going on with you.
568
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,147
Yesterday was
569
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,147
the worst day of my life.
570
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,779
Everyone looked
571
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,779
so much older than me.
572
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,824
I was dressed exactly like the
573
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,824
teacher that everybody hates.
574
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,701
I ate lunch
575
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,701
in the phone booth listening
576
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,996
to the time lady
577
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,996
for 25 minutes and 30 seconds.
578
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,748
Beep.
579
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,876
[dramatic music]
580
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:48,795
[sighs]
581
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,255
I wish you would've
582
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,255
told me this yesterday.
583
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,091
I was too embarrassed.
584
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,052
I don't know what happened.
585
00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,387
In the sixth grade, I was cool.
586
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:00,139
And now I'm a joke.
587
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:04,351
Oh, I know it feels that way.
588
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,438
But that's just 'cause you were
589
00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:07,438
a big fish in a small pond.
590
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,567
Now you're in a big pond,
591
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,567
so you feel like a small fish.
592
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,444
But you don't have
593
00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,444
to look like the big fish.
594
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,613
Especially if the big fish
595
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,613
are bad fish
596
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,490
and smelly fish.
597
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,034
And, well, now I'm lost
598
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,034
and I'm rambling
599
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,620
and I just wanna hug you
600
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,620
and take you to SeaWorld.
601
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:28,084
I just want people to like me.
602
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,253
They will, as soon as
603
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,253
they get to know you.
604
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:36,300
But, look, D.J...
605
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,427
...this girl isn't you.
606
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,972
Then who am I?
607
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,558
Well, I guess, to me,
608
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:44,558
you're still my little girl.
609
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,393
Honey, I don't wanna stop you
610
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,393
from growing up.
611
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:50,023
But you just can't go
612
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:50,023
from 12 to 25 overnight.
613
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,066
Kathy Santoni did.
614
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,863
You gotta realize
615
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,863
that this teenage stuff
616
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,323
is all new for both of us!
617
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,701
But, honey,
618
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,701
we can work it out..
619
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,870
...if we keep one thing in mind.
620
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,373
We have no choice.
621
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,417
Danny, let's go.
622
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,417
We're gonna be late.
623
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,546
Oh, D.J., don't ever let
624
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,546
your father do your makeup.
625
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,925
I did it.
626
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,925
It looked better before.
627
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,677
You know, when I first started
628
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,677
wearing makeup
629
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,303
I made the same mistakes.
630
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,264
Really? How old were you,
631
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,264
18, 19?
632
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,060
No, actually, I was right
633
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,060
around D.J.'s age.
634
00:20:27,101 --> 00:20:29,562
Glad I asked.
635
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,981
Really? You wore makeup
636
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,981
when you were my age?
637
00:20:32,023 --> 00:20:33,858
Uh-huh...only my mom taught me
638
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,526
that the secret
639
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,526
to wearing makeup
640
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,820
is to make it look like
641
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,820
you're not wearing any.
642
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,405
Well, how do you do that?
643
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,741
Yeah, how do you do that?
644
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,451
Well, by bringing out
645
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,451
D.J.'s natural beauty.
646
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:48,664
For instance, you want
647
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:48,664
a very subtle pink eye shadow.
648
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,167
- Can I show her?
649
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,167
- Can she?
650
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:54,253
Go for it.
651
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:55,295
Thanks, Dad.
652
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:56,672
And don't worry
653
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:58,174
no matter how old I get
654
00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:00,509
you can always think of me
655
00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:00,509
as your little girl.
656
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,345
Give me a hug, dad!
657
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,848
Oh, I love those words.
658
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,558
I love you.
659
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,935
I look pretty.
660
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,437
[all laughing]
661
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:15,399
Oh, yes! Little Zsa Zsa,
662
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:15,399
you look very pretty.
663
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,026
[chuckles]
664
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,485
But the secret to makeup
665
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,988
is to make it look like
666
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:20,988
you're not wearing any.
667
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,407
Daddy pretty.
668
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,795
- D.J.?
669
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:35,795
- Kimmy!
670
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,130
What are you doing here?
671
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:38,547
I got my whole schedule changed.
672
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:41,175
- We have the same lunch now.
673
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:41,175
- Alright! Now..
674
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,802
What happened to your bod?
675
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,471
It's back in my sock drawer.
676
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,722
My mom saw me getting
677
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,722
on the bus
678
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,266
and she freaked out.
679
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,726
Um, hi!
680
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,311
You're in my English class,
681
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,311
right?
682
00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:55,815
Yeah. I'm Susan Erickson
683
00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:55,815
and this is Karen Sykes.
684
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,357
- Hi.
685
00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:57,357
- Do you guys wanna sit with us?
686
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,484
Sure, thanks.
687
00:21:58,525 --> 00:21:59,735
I'm D.J. Tanner
688
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,112
and this is my best friend,
689
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,112
Kimmy Gibbler.
690
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:02,738
- 'Hi.'
691
00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:02,738
- Hi.
692
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,244
You're sitting at our table.
693
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:11,664
Well, now it's a scrub table,
694
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:11,664
but you're welcome to join us.
695
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:13,040
[laughing]
696
00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:15,251
I'd rather eat in a phone booth.
697
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:18,462
- Alright. Good job.
698
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:18,462
- Way to go, D.J.
699
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:24,093
Someone should tell her she's
700
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:24,093
wearing a bit too much makeup.
701
00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,513
[instrumental music]
702
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,851
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪♪
703
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,281
[music continues]
704
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:50,494
[music continues]