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[instrumental music]
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- Car broken.
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- Car broken?
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Uh-oh.
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Well, let's check it out.
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See what we got here.
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Uh-uh-uh.
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Yeah, it's broken alright.
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Okay, we'll
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this is loose, we'll..
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We'll tighten that up.
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And this needs a little oil.
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Pop, pop, pop.
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Okay. We'll try it again.
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Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
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Vroom!
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Wait a minute, lady,
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you forgot to pay your bill.
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Sorry.
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Here's your change. Mwah.
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Vroom!
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[instrumental music]
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[theme music]
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♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪
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♪ Aaahhh ♪
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♪ Whatever happened
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to predictability ♪
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♪ The milk man
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the paper boy ♪
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♪ Evening TV ♪
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♪ Ah aahhh ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ There's a heart ♪
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♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere ♪
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♪ There's a face ♪
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♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ When you're lot out there
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and you're all alone ♪
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♪ A light is waiting
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to carry you home ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Everywhere you look ♪
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♪ Dooby do ba ba dow ♪♪
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[instrumental music]
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Alright, boy, let's try that
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"Pounds Away Diet Center" jingle
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one more time, but this time
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I got a little addition.
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Okay? Here we go.
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Everybody got their parts?
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One, two..
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Buckle my shoe.
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No, Michelle.
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Like we practiced, okay?
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When I point to you,
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you do your part. Got it, babe?
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Got it, dude.
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- Here we go. One, two..
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- One, two, three.
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♪ Well she got
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her daddy's car ♪
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♪ And she cruise up by
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the hamburger stand now ♪
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♪ She loses weight now
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she look really great ♪
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♪ She threw away the milkshake ♪
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♪ And the donuts
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that she had in her hand ♪
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♪ She loses weight now
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she look really great ♪
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♪ And when she
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looked in the mirror she drove ♪
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♪ To Pounds Away
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as fast as she can now ♪
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♪ She loses weight now
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she look really great ♪
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♪ She will lose ♪
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♪ Tons tons tons
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if she signs up today ♪
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♪ At Pounds Away ♪
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♪ Tons tons tons
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if she signs up today ♪
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♪ At Pounds Away ♪
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♪ You won't be fat no more ♪
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♪ Bye bye fat ♪
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♪ Sign up today
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at Pounds Away ♪
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♪ You won't be fat no more ♪
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♪ Bye bye fat ♪
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♪ Oo-ooh ♪
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♪ Bye bye fat ♪
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♪ Oo-ooh ♪
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♪ Bye bye fat ♪♪
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Yeah!
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Alright!
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Good job, fellas.
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Work on your hair.
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Well, Joseph,
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you think that
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motivates people
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to go on a diet?
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Hey, it works for me.
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Let's go get some pizza.
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- Hey, guys.
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- Hey, Deej.
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- How's school today?
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- Great.
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Listen, to my English homework.
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All I have to do is observe a
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member of my family for one day
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and then write a report
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about what they do.
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Great, who're you gonna pick?
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Someone who's interested
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in nothing but fun and toys.
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Must be Joey.
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No, Michelle.
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Michelle, do you mind
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if I follow you around
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and observe what you do all day?
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Okay, come with me.
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- Where're we going?
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- My room, now!
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Observation number one.
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Subject has an attitude.
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I'm home! I got kept
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back from school.
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I had to sit at my desk with
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my head down and the lights off.
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And I wasn't allowed to
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say a word for 15 minutes.
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That's a new record for me.
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See you boys.
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- Stephanie.
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- Come back here, young lady.
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Steph.
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Why were you kept after school?
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Well, some kids were calling
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Walter Birman a Duckface.
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Hold it.
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Were you one of these some kids?
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It wasn't only me.
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It was the whole class.
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That's no excuse, young lady.
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Well, if you saw Walter,
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you'd call him a Duckface too.
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He's always
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making these duck lips.
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Kid sounds like a quack up.
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You should've seen it.
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The whole class was going..
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"Quack, quack, quack, quack
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quack, quack, quack, quack."
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Well, you had to be there.
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Stephanie, let me
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tell you a little story
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about your Uncle Jesse.
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When I was a kid,
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everybody used to tease me.
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They called me Zorba the Geek.
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[laughing]
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Zorba the Geek.
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Ha ha ha.
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Kids can be so cruel.
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Uncle Jesse, you were a geek?
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Now, let me tell you
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something, the day I turned
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13 my body flipped out.
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My nose outgrew my face,
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my ears outgrew my nose.
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I was your basic
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Mr. Potato Head.
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So before you
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were a stud, you were a spud.
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I'm not helping, am I?
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Listen to your Uncle Jess.
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Steph, the point
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I'm trying to make is
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that those kids
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really hurt my feelings.
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So I know how Walter feels, and
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I think it would be a good idea
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if you called and apologized.
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Me? Call Duckface?
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Yes, you call duckfa..
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Walter.
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Hi, everybody.
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Daddy, I'm so happy to see you!
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[chuckles]
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Aww.
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Dorothy was right.
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"There's no place like home."
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Just because I teased Duckface
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at school Uncle Jesse's
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making me call him.
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Honey, you know it's wrong
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to hurt someone's feelings.
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I think your Uncle Jesse's
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handling this just right.
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Okay, I'll call Walter
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and tell him I'm sorry.
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Then I'll invite him over for
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some soup and quack-ers. Ha!
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[laughs]
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I kill myself!
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(both)
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Stephanie.
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I'm sorry, I had to
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get it out of my system.
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I'm gonna go track down
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Duckface..
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Walter's phone number.
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Hey, Danny, what's goin' on?
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Oh, lots of stuff.
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Becky's out of town
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tomorrow and I need
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somebody to co-host my show.
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You got any ideas?
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Yeah, me!
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This works out perfect, I'm
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headlining at the Laugh Machine
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this weekend,
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I could use the publicity.
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Let me help you
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with that jacket.
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Yeah, well.
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I was kinda leaning
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towards that tall pretty blonde
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who does the evening news.
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He's awful.
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Danny, you need someone
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who knows you as well
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as you know yourself.
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Like someone
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who lives in your house
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and helps you
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raise your kids, hmm?
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You thinking what I'm thinking?
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There's only one logical choice.
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Yeah, but you think
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Jesse could do it?
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Easy, easy, Joey, I was
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just havin' fun with you.
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I talked to everybody,
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I set it up, you got the job.
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- I did?
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- Yeah.
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Great! Yes!
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You know, you should've
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kept me going.
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You were this close
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to gettin' your car waxed.
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Hello.
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Hello.
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Hello.
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Hi!
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Goodbye.
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Wait, wait, wait.
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Slow down, Michelle.
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Observing you is
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supposed to be easy.
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So far..
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You've played with
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all your animals
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and then you flushed
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every toilet in the house.
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Why don't we take a nap?
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Okay, nap time.
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Bless you.
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Nap over!
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I feel refreshed.
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Whoa.
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How's your report going, Deej?
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The question is,
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where is my report going?
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Alright, come on, Steph
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it's time to call Walter
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and apologize.
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I can't talk.
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I lost my voice!
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Oh, well then we're just
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gonna have to go over to
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Walter's house
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and apologize in person.
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My voice is back.
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It's a miracle.
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00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,597
Hallelujah!
293
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,267
Alright, Stepho,
294
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:37,267
trust me on this one.
295
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,978
You'll feel good,
296
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:39,978
Walter will feel good and..
297
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,106
...I'll feel good
298
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,106
because I thought of the idea.
299
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,566
Hold on one second.
300
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,566
Here you go.
301
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,820
Walter, this is
302
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:48,820
Stephanie Tanner.
303
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:52,782
And I'm really sorry.
304
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:52,782
Well, nice talkin' to ya.
305
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,702
Don't you think you should
306
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,702
mention what you're sorry for?
307
00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,497
I'm sorry I quacked at you.
308
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,040
And?
309
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,416
And I called you Duckface
310
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,960
and threw little pieces
311
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,960
of bread at you.
312
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,842
You threw pieces
313
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,842
of bread at the kid?
314
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,553
Steph, he's not a real duck.
315
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,639
Tell him he's a very nice boy.
316
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,059
Walter, you're a very nice boy.
317
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,520
You're welcome.
318
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,520
Anything else?
319
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,146
Is there anything else
320
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,146
that you'd like to say?
321
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,772
- Yes, there is.
322
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,772
- Good girl.
323
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:25,982
Wanna say hi to my Uncle Jesse?
324
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,775
- No, Steph, no, no.
325
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:27,775
- Here he is.
326
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,695
Hi, Walter.
327
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,695
How are ya? Stephanie..
328
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,365
Oh, you have a snake,
329
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,365
that's great. Stephanie!
330
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:37,118
Really? He ate a mouse?
331
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:37,118
Mm, that's good eatin'.
332
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,746
[instrumental music]
333
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,958
Joey, let's go!
334
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:43,958
We're gonna be late!
335
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,586
Danny, what is the big rush?
336
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:50,173
Joey, you know I always leave
337
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:50,173
the house at exactly 7:48.
338
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,759
Now thanks to you,
339
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,759
I'm already two minutes late.
340
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,054
What are you talking about?
341
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,054
We are right on time.
342
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,183
Joey.
343
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,394
That's a barometer.
344
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,688
Well, in that case,
345
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,688
we'd better get moving
346
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,315
there's a hurricane brewing.
347
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,443
[doorbell rings]
348
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,443
I'll get it.
349
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,247
Hi, can I help you?
350
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,749
Good morning.
351
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,749
Stephanie Tanner here?
352
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,460
Come on in.
353
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,711
Stephanie, your friend's here.
354
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,172
My name is Walter F. Birman.
355
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:35,635
My name is Joseph A. Gladstone.
356
00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:38,472
And I'm Daniel E. Tanner.
357
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,390
Nice to meet you fine gentlemen.
358
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,934
Well, come on in. You kids
359
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,934
have a good day at school.
360
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,352
See you later, Steph.
361
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,730
- Walter?
362
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:47,730
- Hi, Stephanie.
363
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,190
What are you doing here?
364
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,943
Walking through my living room?
365
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,736
Sitting on my couch?
366
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,155
I wanted to thank you in person
367
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,824
for calling me
368
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,824
yesterday to apologize.
369
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:01,369
Well, it was just
370
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:01,369
something I had to do.
371
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,997
So you really think
372
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,997
I'm a very nice boy?
373
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,749
Uh..
374
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,293
Yeah.
375
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,546
This is marvelous!
376
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,423
I never thought
377
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,423
I'd have a friend
378
00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,842
and now I have a girlfriend!
379
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,261
You do? Who?
380
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,597
- You!
381
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,597
- Me?
382
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,518
Walter plus Stephanie
383
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,518
equals true love.
384
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,852
Forever.
385
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,315
Forever?
386
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,611
Walter.
387
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,029
About this girlfriend thing.
388
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:38,072
It's exciting, isn't it?
389
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,033
I can't wait to
390
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,033
tell the whole second grade
391
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:42,202
that you're my girlfriend.
392
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,704
Ah, man.
393
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,704
I feel four feet tall.
394
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,082
Whoa, whoa, wait.
395
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,670
You can't tell anyone
396
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,670
I'm your girlfriend.
397
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:53,129
Oh, I get it.
398
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,922
So you want it to be a secret?
399
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,842
Uh. Yeah. Top secret.
400
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,594
Ooh.
401
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,720
A secret girlfriend.
402
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,349
What does that mean?
403
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:08,895
Well, it means we'll
404
00:12:05,724 --> 00:12:08,895
never talk to each other.
405
00:12:08,936 --> 00:12:10,938
We'll never look at each other.
406
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:13,107
We'll never hold hands.
407
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,527
We'll be total strangers.
408
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,195
Okay. But you're still my--
409
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,572
Shh!
410
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,616
Secret girlfriend.
411
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:25,495
Well, I guess
412
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:25,495
I won't talk to you later.
413
00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:28,164
You know what I'm doing now?
414
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,544
I'm afraid to ask.
415
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,879
I'm giving you a secret kiss.
416
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,423
In my mind.
417
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,265
Eeww!
418
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,563
Michelle, give me my paper back
419
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,690
so I can write down
420
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,690
that you stole it.
421
00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:55,066
My paper.
422
00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:01,698
Michelle, come..
423
00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:01,698
Ow! Ow. Ugh.
424
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,200
Ow.
425
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,910
I sorry.
426
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,706
That's okay, Michelle.
427
00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:12,584
D.J. got a boo-boo?
428
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,628
Yeah, I bumped my knee.
429
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:17,255
I'll make it better.
430
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,718
Thank you, Michelle.
431
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,052
All better?
432
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,345
All better.
433
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,888
Okay, more fun.
434
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,189
Have you seen your Uncle Jesse?
435
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,816
Check his room.
436
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:40,861
If I wasn't so steamed,
437
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:40,861
I would have thought of that.
438
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,159
May I come in? Thank you!
439
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,745
You made me call Duckface
440
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,913
and now he thinks
441
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,913
I'm his girlfriend.
442
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:54,375
He kissed me in his mind.
443
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,629
If this gets out at
444
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,629
school, I'm a dead duck.
445
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,298
Have a nice a nice day.
446
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,925
[instrumental music]
447
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,763
Ten seconds. Ten seconds.
448
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,765
Where the heck is Joey?
449
00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:08,765
How can he be late?
450
00:14:08,807 --> 00:14:10,057
I drove him here.
451
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,435
In four, three, two..
452
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,355
♪ Wake Up ♪♪
453
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,607
Wake Up, San Francisco.
454
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,607
I'm Danny Tanner
455
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,442
Rebecca Donaldson
456
00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:19,442
is on assignment today
457
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,445
so filling in for her is
458
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,445
a man who needs no introduction.
459
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,739
Because...he's not here.
460
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,283
Ahh. Sorry, Danny,
461
00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,283
this wasn't my fault.
462
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,952
The uh, donut guy was late.
463
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,122
Well, as you can see, we are
464
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,122
gonna have a lot of fun today.
465
00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,749
Because my co-host this morning
466
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,876
is one of the hottest young
467
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,876
comics on the local scene
468
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,003
and he's also one of
469
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,003
my closest personal friends
470
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,505
and that's not
471
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,505
just showbiz talk.
472
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,549
This is Joey Gladstone.
473
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,925
Oh, come on.
474
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,925
Cut. It. Out.
475
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,928
Danny, did you mention
476
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,928
that I'd be headlining
477
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,305
at the Laugh Machine
478
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,305
this weekend
479
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,683
with a special
480
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,683
late show on Saturday?
481
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,935
Probably not, since we've only
482
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,935
been on the air for 20 seconds.
483
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,396
Ten of which you missed.
484
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,815
Great, now would be a wonderful
485
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:58,815
time to mention that
486
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,401
I'll be headlining at
487
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,401
the Laugh Machine this weekend.
488
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,695
With a special
489
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,695
late show on Saturday.
490
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,946
Cut. It. Out.
491
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,324
Well, Joey, it's time
492
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,324
to bring out our first guest.
493
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,577
He's the author of this book,
494
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,577
"Hug your way to happiness"
495
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,119
and he is my personal hero.
496
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,623
Please welcome hug therapist,
497
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,623
Dr. Reuben Weinager.
498
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,418
Aaahhh.
499
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,385
There's a lot
500
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,385
of love on this set.
501
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,469
Doctor.
502
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,263
Thank you, thank you.
503
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,891
You can tell so much
504
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:32,891
by the way people hug.
505
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,559
And I feel
506
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,559
something's wrong here.
507
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,354
Either one of you feeling
508
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,354
hurt or suppressing any anger?
509
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,981
Well, to be honest,
510
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,981
there are some things
511
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,276
I'd like him to take seriously.
512
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,612
For instance, punctuality.
513
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,865
Life's a little too short
514
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,865
to be ruled by a clock.
515
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:51,576
How would you know that?
516
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:51,576
You tell time on a barometer.
517
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,995
I'd rather be
518
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,995
a free spirit than a guy
519
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,248
who polishes his shoe trees.
520
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,000
Hey, I don't
521
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,000
polish them, I wax them.
522
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,712
Well, they're wooden. You have
523
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,712
to protect your shoe trees.
524
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,673
From what? A woodpecker
525
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,673
gettin' loose in your closet?
526
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,425
Come on, Danny.
527
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,425
I don't believe you.
528
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,218
Joey, there's no reason to
529
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,218
stand up. We're on television.
530
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,470
Well, then
531
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,470
the people at home
532
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,721
should know
533
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,721
how neurotic you are.
534
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,431
I'm not neurotic.
535
00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:13,431
I'm not neurotic.
536
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,974
- Boys!
537
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,974
- I'm not.
538
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,435
Did you read my book?
539
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:17,435
"Hug Your Way To Happiness?"
540
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,770
Now hug!
541
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,396
Come on, hug!
542
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,817
Come on.
543
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,655
Now say something nice
544
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,655
to each other.
545
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,199
I think it's great
546
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,199
that you recycle.
547
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,287
I think it's great that
548
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,287
you'll be at the Laugh Machine
549
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,789
all this weekend.
550
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,166
With a special
551
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:40,166
late show on Saturday.
552
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,514
Are you having a nice time,
553
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,514
young lady?
554
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:58,476
This happens to be my sandwich
555
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:58,476
and this is your sandwich.
556
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,311
- Capisce?
557
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,311
- Capisce.
558
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,690
Hi, guys.
559
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,191
- Hey.
560
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,191
- Hey, Michelle, guess what?
561
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,944
I read my report about you
562
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,944
in class and I got an A.
563
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:09,195
Mini five!
564
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,155
(Jesse)
565
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,155
'Haha, alright.'
566
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,783
So it was a good idea,
567
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,783
using the baby, huh?
568
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:17,036
I'm not a baby, I'm a big girl.
569
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:21,833
Ooh, a big girl.
570
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:21,833
Excuse me, Miss Tanner.
571
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,751
She's right, Uncle Jesse.
572
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,420
You know Michelle I'm really
573
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,420
glad I got to hang out with you.
574
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,506
I mean we haven't spent
575
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,506
much time together since
576
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:29,757
I started junior high.
577
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,342
So?
578
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,179
So, you're like
579
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,179
a little person now.
580
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,765
You're sensitive,
581
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,765
compassionate..
582
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,267
...and you're actually
583
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,267
smarter than most dogs.
584
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,985
But you still gross me out.
585
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,364
- Hey, Steph.
586
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,364
- Hi, Uncle Jesse.
587
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,324
Steph.
588
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,617
How was school today?
589
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:59,286
Oh. Just dandy.
590
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,415
Walter still thinks that
591
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,415
I'm his secret girlfriend.
592
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:05,919
He was giving me kisses
593
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:05,919
in his mind all day.
594
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,296
Steph, I'm sorry but..
595
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,758
...apologizing to Walter
596
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:11,758
was the right thing to to.
597
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,511
If it was the right thing,
598
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:15,511
how come my life is a mess?
599
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,179
Well, just because
600
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,179
you do the right thing
601
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,890
doesn't mean your
602
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,890
life's gonna be perfect.
603
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,059
You do the right thing because
604
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,059
it's the right thing to do.
605
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,518
You understand?
606
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,395
So now if Walter thinks
607
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,395
that you're girlfriend
608
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,313
you just tell him that
609
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,313
you guys are just friends
610
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,608
but tell him nicely,
611
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,608
no duck jokes.
612
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,317
No more advice, please?
613
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,111
I thought grown-ups were
614
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,111
supposed to get you
615
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,196
out of trouble,
616
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,196
not get you into it.
617
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,240
[doorbell rings]
618
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,285
Those are my friends. They're
619
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:39,285
here to work on our bug project.
620
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:40,536
Excuse me.
621
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,498
Steph. When you guys are
622
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,498
done, you come up to my room.
623
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,333
You and I are gonna
624
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,333
have a little chat, okay?
625
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,794
(Stephanie)
626
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,794
'Okay.'
627
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:52,298
- Walter.
628
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:52,298
- Good afternoon, Stephanie.
629
00:18:52,339 --> 00:18:55,134
This is supposed to be a secret.
630
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,343
No one knows I'm here.
631
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,678
Except my mom.
632
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,807
And I told her
633
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,807
it was strictly business.
634
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,391
Here.
635
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,477
Thank you.
636
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,477
They're very pretty.
637
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,062
But I've got a
638
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,062
lot of homework to do.
639
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,398
So thank you, goodnight,
640
00:19:06,104 --> 00:19:09,398
and good luck.
641
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,943
Oh! It's Duckface!
642
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,194
You dumped me for Duckface?
643
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:16,572
Mr. and Mrs. Duckface.
644
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:20,118
They're going to get
645
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:20,118
married and live in a pond!
646
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,410
We're not married!
647
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,288
Stephanie's just
648
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:24,288
my secret girlfriend!
649
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,583
Oh, Walter..
650
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,503
So it's true.
651
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,503
You are Mrs. Duckface.
652
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:33,547
[kids quacking]
653
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:33,547
Duckface! Duckface!
654
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,300
Stop it! Stop teasing me!
655
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,803
I'm not his secret girlfriend!
656
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,430
I'm not his
657
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,430
any kind of girlfriend.
658
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,432
Oh, yeah?
659
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,432
Then prove it.
660
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:46,185
Call him Duckface
661
00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:46,185
and throw him out!
662
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,648
Quick, before I
663
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,648
walk out of your life forever.
664
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,733
No, I'm not gonna
665
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,733
call him Duckface.
666
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:56,112
- Oh, so he is your boyfriend.
667
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:56,112
- 'Yeah.'
668
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,823
He's not my boyfriend!
669
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,575
But he is my friend.
670
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,120
I am? I'm your secret friend?
671
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:08,415
No, Walter. You're my
672
00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:08,415
everybody-can-know friend.
673
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,418
And if you were my friends,
674
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,418
you wouldn't tease him either.
675
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,379
Why not? It's fun!
676
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,755
Oh, yeah?
677
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,674
Was it fun
678
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,674
when you got hurt during recess
679
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,135
and everyone
680
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,135
called you Cryin' Bryan?
681
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,680
I wouldn't laugh, Harry.
682
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,849
Remember when you
683
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,849
got that bad haircut?
684
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,309
Everyone called
685
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,309
you Salad Bowl Head?
686
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,649
What's so funny, Miss Milk
687
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:33,649
Through Her Nose On Parents Day?
688
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,985
- Twice?
689
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,985
- Hey!
690
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,779
It doesn't feel so great
691
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:38,779
to be teased, does it?
692
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,114
(in unison)
693
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,114
No.
694
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,699
Walter, will you stay
695
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,576
and be part of our group?
696
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,411
I'd enjoy that!
697
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,621
And thanks for
698
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,621
sticking up for me.
699
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,208
Sometimes you have to do
700
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,208
the right thing.
701
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,210
- Right group?
702
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,210
- Yeah.
703
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,586
Good answer.
704
00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:57,006
I'll be right back.
705
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,301
Really? Yeah.
706
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,721
(Jesse)
707
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,721
'Yeah. At tea.'
708
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,556
Uncle Jesse, can I talk to you?
709
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,391
Oh, hi, Steph, how you..
710
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,391
Uh, hol..
711
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,769
Bye bye. Thank you.
712
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:12,396
Yeah, sure, pal.
713
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:12,396
Hey, how'd it go downstairs.
714
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,023
Great.
715
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,442
How'd it go
716
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:16,442
watching us from upstairs?
717
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:19,528
Ya caught me, didn't you?
718
00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:21,989
Yeah. Uncle Jesse.
719
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,950
I have something to tell you.
720
00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:26,244
You were right.
721
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,871
Feels terrible being teased.
722
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,625
Are we still friends?
723
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,586
Oh, Stephanie, of course
724
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,586
we're still friends.
725
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,130
Why wouldn't we
726
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,130
still be friends?
727
00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:39,423
Because I got so mad at you.
728
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,759
I was never gonna
729
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:41,759
trust you again.
730
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,304
Stephanie Tanner, you can
731
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,304
always trust your Uncle Jesse.
732
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,140
Now, I may not do
733
00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,140
everything you like
734
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,849
and I may even make
735
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,849
mistakes once in a while
736
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:52,436
but, I'm always gonna
737
00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:52,436
be on your side.
738
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,354
I just...I just
739
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,354
want you to grow up
740
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,690
and be the best
741
00:21:54,396 --> 00:21:56,690
little person you can be.
742
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,943
Let me tell you
743
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,943
something, right then?
744
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,988
You're about as
745
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,988
good as it gets, kid.
746
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:05,074
When I grow up, I want to be
747
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:05,074
gonna be just like you.
748
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:07,576
But wear dresses.
749
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:11,164
Mm. Now that's a hug!
750
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:14,708
And if anyone ever calls
751
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:14,708
you Zorba the Geek again
752
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,711
you just tell 'em
753
00:22:14,750 --> 00:22:17,711
to see Mrs. Duckface.
754
00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,088
Duck kiss.
755
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:29,932
♪ Ahhh ahh ahh ahhh ♪♪
756
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:33,936
[theme music]